REPUBLICAN FAMILY VALUES  4:23 pm March 18, 2012

Idiot Santorum Supporters Chant ‘USA’ at Smooching Men

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

What’s this, two men interrupting Rick Santorum’s banal rambling to lock lips in a simple act of protest against homophobia? ACTION TEAM FORCE PATRIOTISM TO THE RESCUE. Watch the excitable wingnuts spring into action and holler “U-S-A” over and over in a heroic attempt to ward off decency and tolerance from their midst. How about some finger pointing, would finger pointing help, too?

This lady is on it, oh boy is she:

Mission accomplished! The kissing men were kicked out. Please resume your speech about fundamental American values, Rick Santorum:

“We need a president who understands that America is the greatest country in the history of the world and what we’ve done across this country, across this world, it’s not oppress, it’s not invade, we are not invaders, we are not people that seek gain of territory, oil, property,” Santorum said. “What we seek is security for ourselves and liberty and prosperity for others and it’s nothing to apologize for.”

Good job, team. Decency and common sense were defeated once again. [Patch/YouTube]

 
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{ 177 comments }

beavertank March 18, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Phew, we threw out the disgusting sodomites, now let's all cheer for Rick Santorum's bravery for not running away when faced with teh gay. He wasn't even wearing a bio-hazard suit! Such bravery!

HistoriCat March 18, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Well, at least he didn't hide in the bushes or call 911 like some people we could mention…

BlueStateLibel March 18, 2012 at 4:30 pm

"…we are not people that seek gain of territory, oil, property,” Santorum said." There are some native Americans on the phone who would like to speak with you about that, Mr. Santorum, also a few dead presidents.

Blueb4sunrise March 18, 2012 at 4:42 pm

It just sorta happened.

weej_bain March 18, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Frothy will magnanimously give them blankets used in a small pox Ebola ward.

OurDailyBread March 18, 2012 at 5:42 pm

It's too bad that native Americans weren't able to enforce a tough show-me-your-papers law.

chicken_thief March 18, 2012 at 7:33 pm

If they had only passed the "Cherokee only" for all official transactions and documents it might have slowed down the influx of whites a little. Hindsight is always 20-20….

MadBrahms March 18, 2012 at 9:30 pm

And the Chagossians, if anyone thinks we just stopped after the 19th century ended. (USA! USA!)

oldedinvn March 19, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Big deal. If one is not an historian like the neutered, anything said is close enough .

facehead March 18, 2012 at 4:30 pm

How can they complain about two gay dudes kissing in the audience with all that yucky Santorum all over the stage?

DCBloom March 18, 2012 at 4:30 pm

So…. don't know if this is true, but the buzz on the twitterz is that these guys weren't even gay. They just wanted to make a point. I really hope it's true.

Lascauxcaveman March 18, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Yeah, they didn't look like they were really into it. A public beej, while a bit more problematic, would have been a lot more convincing.

starfanglednut March 18, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Oh, those two are definitely not gay. Gaydar needle doesn't even budge.

Lascauxcaveman March 18, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Two guys kissing in public? LOL, that is so ghey.

But anyway, +1 for gay hockey fans.

C_R_Eature March 18, 2012 at 4:38 pm

"Hey, I don't get no respect! I went to a speech and a Gay Hockey Game broke out!"
- Rodney Santorum

Swampgas_Man March 18, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Tonsil hockey.

C_R_Eature March 18, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Vigorously Upfisted!

Heh heh, you said "Upfisted"! Heh heh. heh heh heh.

MarcelleMarceau March 18, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Regarding a related values topic: Why hasn't Santorum been asked how he is able to distinguish between garden variety porn and obscene hard-core porn? What has he actually seen and how many times?

AbandonHope March 18, 2012 at 5:19 pm

I'm sure his extensive library is indexed by subject and cross-referenced. For research purposes, of course.

C_R_Eature March 18, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Simple!

Not Porn: Juggs, Catholic High School Girls In Trouble, Cheerleader Sluts, Girl Pages in Bondage, MILF Hunter, Horny Housewives.

Porn: The Ellen Show.

SheriffRoscoe March 18, 2012 at 4:37 pm

She points at us, and we, as gay men point back at her. I mean look at that haircut.

Sharkey March 18, 2012 at 4:47 pm

And that husband. They met in 4H and have been inseparable since.

SheriffRoscoe March 18, 2012 at 4:52 pm

I was going to say she looks like an old lesbian. But that would be an insult to old lesbians.

weej_bain March 18, 2012 at 5:18 pm

4H, if my olde brain recalls correctly. is headcase, heartache, hand-job, and homophobic? Amirite?

HempDogbane March 18, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Head, heart, hands, hole.

Veritas78 March 18, 2012 at 6:20 pm

In which pen?

Loaded_Pants March 18, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Ooh, nice one.

Dashboard Buddha March 18, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Except for those times he had to go to agricultural fairs in Nebraska. But hey, what happens in Omaha, stays in Omaha.

ManchuCandidate March 18, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I think they were chanting "U R Gay."

But yeah, this is just more evidence that most if not all of Santorum's supporters are fucking morans.

Data Exactly March 18, 2012 at 9:56 pm

The first few people to start chanting were saying "U R Gay", then, once it was adopted by a larger portion of the audience, it became "USA", it sounds like. Good catch, there.

Sharkey March 18, 2012 at 4:41 pm

And Satan smiled.

Sharkey March 18, 2012 at 4:44 pm

That whole auditorium should be sprayed with santorum, Saints Row 2 style.

Sharkey March 18, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Aww yeah, you know I have to link to a NSFW video of that.

bagofmice March 18, 2012 at 5:12 pm

If only the sequel had a dildo to top that shit.

MadBrahms March 18, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Is it bad that I find the pseudo-Marxist ramblings of the septic avenger sort of arousing?

Blueb4sunrise March 18, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I'm just glad that they allowed the two women to continue frenching.

AbandonHope March 18, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Nah, that's fine, because they're property of the men, and if two women are going at it that just means they're super horny, amirite? At least that's what Santorum supporters glean from their obscene hardcore porn, I wager.

SpiderCrab March 18, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Santorum has been playing the Seamus-the-Irish Setter card quite often, lately. How long will the Romney campaign be able to abstain from the nuclear option?

Callyson March 18, 2012 at 5:23 pm

The nuclear option? Does that mean Mittens' people have video footage?
Can't decide if that thought makes me happy or makes me want to vomit…

bumfug March 18, 2012 at 4:51 pm

This whole fucking country is one giant Monty Python skit.

DCBloom March 18, 2012 at 5:01 pm

“Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!”

ttommyunger March 18, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Watery Tart!

trampndirtdown March 18, 2012 at 6:11 pm

I thought we were an autonomus collective.

Callyson March 18, 2012 at 5:24 pm

"Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!"

donner_froh March 18, 2012 at 6:22 pm

This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

Toomush_Infer March 18, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Ummmm, just sleeping….

C_R_Eature March 18, 2012 at 6:22 pm

CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch!
VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch, might we burn her?
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
BEDEMIR: How do you know she is a witch?
VILLAGER #2: She's on Birth Control!
BEDEMIR: Bring her forward

stncmchnc March 18, 2012 at 8:33 pm

King of the who?!

Kakkeltje March 19, 2012 at 2:32 am

where the ministry of silly walks is the most sensible part of the government..

oldedinvn March 19, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Without the humor.

GuanoFaucet March 18, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I'm honestly surprised that the crowd didn't stone them to death.

chicken_thief March 18, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Hard to get any velocity on the cast stones when throwing from a hoverround.

gullywompr March 18, 2012 at 4:54 pm

2 guys 1 creamcup.

Crank_Tango March 18, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Seriously, we can't use the word "r-e-t-a-r-d-e-d" in any context now? That's fuckin gay as hell.

DCBloom March 18, 2012 at 5:05 pm

"R" word definition = A slowing down or hindering of progress; a delay

Seems like Santorum would like to delay our progress into the 21st century, so….

AbandonHope March 18, 2012 at 5:16 pm

He just wants to drop the speed of America down — a ritardando if you will.

swordfis March 18, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Is "cretin" also off limits?

C_R_Eature March 18, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Cretin Hop is OK.

C_R_Eature March 18, 2012 at 6:07 pm

It would be very helpful if we had a Reference Text. A Robert's Rules for Ret@rds, if you will.

Crank_Tango March 18, 2012 at 6:12 pm

The Wonket Manual of Crass and Irreverent Style, perhaps?

finallyhappy March 18, 2012 at 6:16 pm

no, use of that word just shows you have a language problem. Why is it so important for people here to use that word? As I have said before, I see it used by kids, drunk teens/men and generally uneducated people. I expect more from people posting here- perhaps I have overestimated the abilities of some Wonketteers.

C_R_Eature March 18, 2012 at 6:25 pm

"Abilities"? We have "Abilities"?

WOOHOO!

Crank_Tango March 18, 2012 at 6:40 pm

that there is some linguistic libel all around.

PhilippePetain March 20, 2012 at 8:02 pm

I believe a good portion of the posts here are irreverently lampooning stupidity while/by actively participating in the same. It's something that the kids are doing these days.

I sincerely hope no one on this blog ever starts expecting more from the comments section.

C_R_Eature March 18, 2012 at 6:24 pm

I really need a copy. If only to have the correct spelling of "Buttsechs" handy.

oldedinvn March 19, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Ban C_T. He said gay.

Jukesgrrl March 18, 2012 at 4:57 pm

I've been waiting for the Love-In to come back in style. I'm sorry it was meant with such a lack of appreciation. Maybe they'll get a check in the mail from Yoko.

not that Dewey March 18, 2012 at 7:24 pm

They could get married in Gibraltar, near Spain.

Angry_Marmot March 18, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Christ, you know it ain't easy.

Beowoof March 18, 2012 at 4:58 pm

With the amount of horse and cow fuckers in the audience I am surprised the complained.

AbandonHope March 18, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Cows 'r okay cuz they's female. Horses are fine too if they's mares, and probably also fine if they's geldings. But two FELLAS kissin'? That ain't right, y'all.

chicken_thief March 18, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Unless of course, the fella's are from the Dominican Republic and get paid for their services.

C_R_Eature March 18, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Don't forget the Chicken-Fuckers, now! They're proud people.

Dudleydidwrong March 18, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Sheep libel!

BlueStateLibel March 18, 2012 at 5:01 pm

That certainly was some heroic finger pointing. "Ooo,ooo, Herb, they're kissin', Herb, they're kissing!"

pinkocommi March 18, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Congratulations, Mr. Santorum. You have an X-men power. It is… making gay people kiss each other whenever you are around. Enjoy, you f-ing mutant. Enjoy.

DemmeFatale March 18, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Even better…is making STRAIGHT people gay-kiss each other.

Happy, happy! Joy, joy!

Loaded_Pants March 18, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Santorum turns straight people gay. Who knew?

Schmannnity March 18, 2012 at 5:07 pm

It makes sense that the gays left. Look carefully at the crowd; every person of color left, was removed, or did not arrive before filming.

chicken_thief March 18, 2012 at 7:04 pm

It's awesome the way Santorum can almost fill a high school gym, isn't it. And he's the one that excites the base.

Holy fuck, Obama draws bigger crowds than that taking Sasha and Milia out for ice cream.

Loaded_Pants March 18, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Or having some Guinness.

stncmchnc March 18, 2012 at 8:38 pm

Or playing pocket pool.

Chichikovovich March 18, 2012 at 7:16 pm

every person of color left, was removed, or did not arrive before filming.

Or, most likely, was sold.

starfanglednut March 18, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Or was uncomfortable in their 3/5 of a seat.

Rotundo_ March 18, 2012 at 7:51 pm

It's a republican event: The only people of color allowed are entertainment and catering and cleaning. For future reference see America in the 40's.

AbandonHope March 18, 2012 at 5:13 pm

What's really funny is that you have a bunch of people pointing at two men kissing and chanting "U S A"… if I didn't know it was at a Santorum rally I'd figure that people were pointing to them as an example of Americans, not condemning them.

EloquentScience March 18, 2012 at 5:15 pm

It is so nice to see a sweet young couple practicing their personal freedoms in this country, and be cheered on by the audience, who are brought to their feet proclaiming how great the USA is.

Arken March 18, 2012 at 5:17 pm

If I were in charge of the secret gay agenda, I would definitely have my minions do this at every single Santorum rally until the convention just for the lulz. Maybe add a couple each time until the entire front row is just one big gay make-out session.

swordfis March 18, 2012 at 5:37 pm

tremendous

Sharkey March 18, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Stay classy, Illinois.

Callyson March 18, 2012 at 5:19 pm

"…we are not people that seek gain of territory, oil, property,” LGBT equality activists said. “What we seek is security for ourselves and liberty and prosperity for others and it’s nothing to apologize for.”
/fixed

Numbat_Dundee March 18, 2012 at 5:22 pm

They should have gone the whole hog and done some butt sex in front of these bigots. Then they could have gone through the crowd distributing condoms and lube.

stncmchnc March 18, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Exactly, and people in the nosebleed section could say, I was so close to *santorum* it was like being in the front row. Wait, what nosebleed section?

AbandonHope March 18, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Hey, all the British wanted for India was freedom and prosperity for them, too, according to the Santorinomicon.

BklynIlluminati March 18, 2012 at 5:25 pm

The same crowd that goes to wrestling events. Idiocracy was so prophetic

smashedinhat March 18, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Remember that scene is Trainspotting where the old gal is giving it to the old guy from behind? Someone seriously needs to hack the big screen with that clip. The Metamucil will be flowing down from the nose bleeds!

ttommyunger March 18, 2012 at 5:29 pm

"Idiot Santorum Supporters…." Redundancy much? BTW, read the quote, having never paid much attention to what this dipshit has ever said, I just realized that in addition to his other faults, he is a HUGE fucking liar. We're not invaders like the Ultrasound Wand is not invasive. What a massive asshole this person is.

Crank_Tango March 18, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Actually Tommy, he had his fingers crossed behind his back (and stuck up his ass) when he said that.

ttommyunger March 18, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Well, OK then. ;)

donner_froh March 18, 2012 at 6:25 pm

And you know how a person with an overabundance to santorum gets a massive asshole…

ttommyunger March 18, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Prolly hangs open like a horse-collar.

GuanoFaucet March 18, 2012 at 5:37 pm

If it had been a brother and sister kissing, the crowd would have cheered.

weej_bain March 18, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Vice is nice, but incest is best. Dogeared, but still works in the heartland.

Sharkey March 18, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Hey, you got your homophobia in my xenophobia, you filthy fag!!

You got your xenophobia in my homophobia, you stupid chink!

Two great tastes that taste great together.

Dashboard Buddha March 18, 2012 at 5:59 pm

we are not invaders, we are not people that seek gain of territory, oil, property,

You malodorous shit stain, you lying sack of dung. Goddammit, I would like just 5 minutes with you to explain just how fucking big a liar you are.

Loaded_Pants March 18, 2012 at 6:59 pm

I think it's unfair to call someone a liar when they clearly don't know what the hell they're talking about to begin with.

I would just love to see the house-based edukation lesson plans being inflicted on his kids. Probably includes pictures of Jesus riding a dinosaur while shootin' off a pistol & carryin' the US Flag

Jukesgrrl March 18, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Interestingly, when they were ripping off the Penn Hills, PA, school district to get their curricula paid for by taxpayers, the lessons were regular secular public school edumacation, provided by the Pennsylvania Cyber School, one of the nation's earliest online charter schools. So they were willing to forego the Christian viewpoint as long as they didn't have to PAY. There's some real dedication to The Lord.

Rotundo_ March 18, 2012 at 8:00 pm

I used to feel that way, but I really would *not* want anything to do with the bastard. Nothing that anyone says will make an impact on what he says or does unless it is accompanyed with a boat load of money. Honestly I don't think he believes half this crap, but he knows it is his ticket and he is going to hold onto it as long as he can turn a buck with it. You cant fix that with discussion.

Dashboard Buddha March 18, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Very true. I should have clarified that I would want 5 minutes with him in public. I certainly wouldn't be able to change his mind. But, with some good preparation, I might be able to make him look like the ass he is to other people.

Sassomatic March 18, 2012 at 6:04 pm

I agree. The ole' US of A has the best kissing dudes in the history of the world.

ThundercatHo March 18, 2012 at 6:06 pm

I hope the crowd chants the same thing when he leaves the stage after his concession speech.

BarackMyWorld March 18, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Any gals want to help me protest Santorum's stand on contraceptives?

finallyhappy March 18, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Sure, I'll bring condoms to throw all over the next place he speaks. I assume that is what you were planning.

BarackMyWorld March 18, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Touché.

flamingpdog March 18, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Santorum stands on contraceptives? No wonder he's got so many kids.

anniegetyerfun March 19, 2012 at 1:40 am

UR DOIN IT RONG

user-of-owls March 18, 2012 at 6:34 pm

“We need a president who understands that America is the greatest country in the history of the world [why do you hate Israel?] and what we’ve done across this country, across this world, it’s not oppress[except for Negroes, women, Hispanics, gays, Irish, Germans, Italians, and the poor], it’s not invade [unless you count Nicaragua (7 times), Dominican Republic (4), Haiti (4), etc.], we are not invaders, we are not people that seek gain of territory [might find some Hawaiians, Mexicans, Lakota, Massasoit, Filipinos and Samoans with a slightly different view], oil [oh, hell, where to start], property [*cough, cough* slaves *cough*]”

chicken_thief March 18, 2012 at 7:09 pm

I thought the same thing – oppression, everything except straight white males, and invade? – Ricky, how about transvaginal probes?! Would you consider that "invasive" if it was up your ass?

Redhead March 18, 2012 at 6:42 pm

"This lady is on it, oh boy is she: "

That is NOT a lady.

chicken_thief March 18, 2012 at 7:15 pm

I thought it was Rudy Guiliani in drag. Again.

Doktor StrangeZoom March 18, 2012 at 6:42 pm

3-BEAT CHANT! 3-BEAT CHANT! 3-BEAT CHANT! 3-BEAT CHANT!

not that Dewey March 18, 2012 at 7:19 pm

THIS IS WHAT ANALOGY LOOKS LIKE

Doktor StrangeZoom March 18, 2012 at 7:47 pm

…when you find a stranger in the alps.

not that Dewey March 18, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Cheese and Rice! (no kidding; I saw a TV version of Used Cars that actually edited that in.)

You've seen Soderbergh's Schizopolis, right?

Doktor StrangeZoom March 19, 2012 at 12:22 am

Actually, no. Quick, to the Netflix queue!

C_R_Eature March 18, 2012 at 7:27 pm

BLOW ME DOWN! BLOW ME DOWN! BLOW ME DOWN!

Loaded_Pants March 18, 2012 at 8:14 pm

No disco beat chants for the Santorum crowds.

johnnyzhivago March 18, 2012 at 6:44 pm

America: We don't even need a good reason to invade you – sometimes we just do it for fun!

Dashboard Buddha March 18, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Sometimes we'll invade just because you dissed our dad. Nobody puts daddy in a corner.

chicken_thief March 18, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Oil producing nations only need apply.

BarackMyWorld March 18, 2012 at 7:00 pm

OT, but: Mitt's a douchebag, part one million…

"Before I take a stand, I want to get input [from military leaders] that are there," Romney said on "Fox News Sunday." "General [John] Allen is coming to Washington and testifying about what the conditions are," he noted, adding that some conclusions can already be drawn.

"I think it is plain to see conditions are not going very well," Romney said. "And I lay part of the blame on that on the lack of leadership on our president."

The former Massachusetts governor called the ongoing U.S. departure from Afghanistan a "failed withdrawal."

Said Romney: "He likewise failed in the way we left Iraq, and this is a president who simply does not have experience in tough situations, no negotiating or leadership experience. And it is showing with the result that one might have expected with the lack of leadership."

Fox News host Bret Baier asked Romney what he would do differently.

"First of all, I would exercise leadership," Romney offered, suggesting he would talk to President Hamid Karzei every day.

Mitt Romney Doesn't Have Enough Information To 'Take A Stand' On Afghanistan

To summarize…
Mitt: Obama is not a leader.
Fox News: What would you do?
Mitt: I don't know because no one's told me what to do yet.

chicken_thief March 18, 2012 at 7:24 pm

I honestly feel sorry for Mitt. In a way. The guy went from being an ok governor to wanting the POTUS position so badly that he has jettisoned every thing resembling "true beliefs".

Though I disagree with him on everything, I have more respect for Santorum. And Ron Paul. Mitt is just fucking pathetic at this point. But then, I can't wait for the general when all Obama has to do is run non-stop ads of Romney disagreeing with Romney.

BTW, anyone know why "Romney" is seen as a word by the Intense Debate spell check but not "Obama"? How difficult is it to add the President of the United States?

Jukesgrrl March 18, 2012 at 11:05 pm

I'm also annoyed by that spelling thing. Neither Barack nor Obama is recognized by my MS spell-check either. And, yes, the pandering IS nauseating.

bagofmice March 19, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Spell check code and dictionaries most likely reside in your browser.

BarackMyWorld March 18, 2012 at 11:38 pm

I can't feel sorry for someone so devoid of a moral compass he would betray every belief he once had just for the chance to get more power.

Callyson March 18, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Saw that too and was most annoyed by:
Romney also criticized the U.S. decision to withdraw its forces, saying that it had led Karzai to begin distancing himself from the United States. "The president put out a specific timetable for withdrawal and end of combat operations. That is leading Mr. Karzai to take action that is self preservation in nature."
The same Karzai who is telling US and NATO forces to leave Afghan villages? Could Romney be more ignorant of what is happening in Afghanistan?
FFS, for the sake of our national security, not to mention world peace, we can't afford to have Mittens in the White House.

BarackMyWorld March 18, 2012 at 11:42 pm

That was a major criticism of the "No Apologies" book…it sounded good if you knew nothing about the rest of the world.

Loaded_Pants March 18, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Look at how patriotic they are! They have a big ass flag!

C_R_Eature March 18, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Wait…they have a flag with an ass on it? I'm confused.

Where can I buy one?

Rotundo_ March 18, 2012 at 8:04 pm

The big ass is standing right in front of it. Of course most of the crowd is too so there may be room for interpretation.

C_R_Eature March 18, 2012 at 8:07 pm

OK, thanks.

…don't want one of those…

Loaded_Pants March 18, 2012 at 8:12 pm

It's a verbal quirk that the hubs teases me about every time I say it. If I'm talking about something big I'll often say "big ass"-whatever-it-is-I'm-referring-to. I do the same thing with saying "tons of" when I mean "lots of".

C_R_Eature March 18, 2012 at 8:16 pm

'Scool. Lots less annoying than peppering "Y'know" or "Knowwhutahmean?" all though everything you say.

I have a mental quirk that makes me play with words like a big smartass.

Loaded_Pants March 18, 2012 at 8:40 pm

I'm proud to say that I almost never use the word "dude" in addressing someone & have never said any statement consisting mostly of the word "like".
Also, I have never spoke in "upspeak".
However, much of my grammar, punctuation, and spelling has went all to hell since my schoolin' days.
Wait, did I use "has" correctly or not? Oh, who cares?
Maybe I'm just fucking lazy, I guess.

bagofmice March 19, 2012 at 3:45 pm

It's because they're in the pocket of big ass. Fight the power! Take our baby got back!

vtxmcrider March 18, 2012 at 9:31 pm

A proctologist would have a field day with all the assholes in that room.

wvfii March 18, 2012 at 7:21 pm

oh hey that's pretty cool. all those folks were like "hell yeah, watch those two guys kiss! right out in public! only in America, amirite?? USA! USA! USA!"

anniegetyerfun March 18, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Well, never let it be said that homophobes are also fascists/ultra nationalists who equate country with oppressing minorities, or anything.

NYNYNYjr March 18, 2012 at 7:55 pm

1- the kids don't look like they were kicked out, it looks like they just left. 2- It's was not a very gay kiss. Of course, even if you were gayly in love, it is an awkward place to kiss. 3- The two old people are great, they look like a corner detail in a Bosch painting. Maybe Breugel. I'm going to try to paint them. 4- It may have been celebratory, like some other people mentioned. Like "Yeah, look at them kiss!! USA USA!! Alright!! Whooo! Take off his pants! USA USA!"

Jukesgrrl March 18, 2012 at 10:59 pm

I was thinking of using pointing-lady as my avatar, but my outrage is for such different reasons. Love your idea about the painting detail. A huge mural of a Santorum rally could represent "21st Century Hell."

starfanglednut March 18, 2012 at 8:18 pm

“What we seek is security for rich, white, straight christian men and liberty and prosperity for rich, white, straight christian me and it’s nothing we rich, white, straight christian men need to apologize for.”

fify.

Tommmcattt March 18, 2012 at 9:02 pm

That was totally two straight trustifarians kissing, god bless them. Way to take one for the team.

imissopus March 18, 2012 at 9:03 pm

…what we’ve done across this country, across this world, it’s not oppress, it’s not invade, we are not invaders, we are not people that seek gain of territory, oil, property.

Rick, here is a partial list of countries/people/territories that would like to have a word with you about your working knowledge of history: Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Lebanon, Panama, Grenada, Vietnam, both Koreas, Japan, the Dominican Republic, Honduras, Guatemala, Argentina, Venezuela, the Philipines, Germany, Libya, Afghanistan, Russia (yes we invaded them once), Mexico, Puerto Rico, Guam, the Northern Marianas, damn near every Native American tribe that was on this continent at the dawn of the 15th century (and particularly the tribes of the Great Plains in the 1800s – I think the Lakota and the Sioux might have an opinion on this), Canada fer fuck's sake, hell, the old Confederacy – that's right, let's ask some of the nitwits who still dress up in Johnny Reb uniforms to re-enact the Battle of Testicle Ridge or whatever and claim the South is still a nation under occupation, you know, the same morons who are voting for you – and Flying Spaghetti Monster (pasta be upon him) knows how many I'm forgetting because there have been so many opportunities in the 200+ years of the existence of the greatest nation in history for us to beat up on the browns and reds and yellows and blacks of the world and station our troops on their ground to guard our precious oil or mineral rights or dusky native girls. You twit. May your wife leave you for the butchest lesbian in all the land and may all your children dedicate their lives to working in abortion clinics.

MadBrahms March 18, 2012 at 9:28 pm

"Hey, somebody want to help me get these gays out of here? They're totally screwing up my 'we don't oppress' schtick."

(and yeah, it does look like they just left)

WiscDad March 18, 2012 at 9:53 pm

What fucking country does he live in?

Monsieur_Grumpe March 18, 2012 at 10:01 pm

A baby wasn't made so it must be a sin.

NYCer2 March 18, 2012 at 10:45 pm

It seems to me that a German fellow with a funny mustache said the same thing about seeking security for his country when he invaded Poland.

Jukesgrrl March 18, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Yes, intervention. It's like a medical procedure. Or trying to get someone into rehab.

freelancer March 18, 2012 at 11:12 pm

I think it's hilarious that they went for the Patriotism card in response to diversity or as a hedge against tolerance.

My issue is with the Human Microphone attempt. It doesn't work unless you have MORE than 2 people. Because then it's just You Shouting, and Someone else repeating you.

Negropolis March 18, 2012 at 11:32 pm

My video playback is kind of choppy, so when I saw the black-tee dude kissing the gentleman in green with the Jesus-like locks as if it were some V-Day celebration, I just assumed it was a woman, and that you guys had got it all wrong…until I saw the scruff.

Negropolis March 18, 2012 at 11:37 pm

“We need a president who understands that America is the greatest country in the history of the world and what we’ve done across this country, across this world, it’s not oppress, it’s not invade, we are not invaders, we are not people that seek gain of territory, oil, property,” Santorum said. “What we seek is security for ourselves and liberty and prosperity for others and it’s nothing to apologize for.”

Never have so many words, meant so little, to so few. Nineteen Eighty-Four don't got nuthin' on this bast'id.

BW, I must admit that I have a begruding respect for the Blackhawks.

Negropolis March 18, 2012 at 11:48 pm

BTW, liberal groups should totally just show up to rallies and start chanting USA!, becasuse you know the crowd wouldn't get the joke, and would eventually drown out the speaker in chaos thinking they are doing something right. lol This is how you sabotage small-minded people.

The_Trainman March 19, 2012 at 12:13 am

Sanatorium won't be nominated but if he is some how, good citizens will go full gay guerilla on his homophobic ass, showing up every where he does to make a fool out of him. And, kissing will be the mildest prank.

fitley March 19, 2012 at 2:09 am

Now that Grampa is feeling all sexy he's going to demand a "Blumpkin" tonite.

amoosefloats March 19, 2012 at 2:20 am

Now they will all go home and watch Ellen, to them she is a safe lesbian because she gives away free stuff, like snuggies and hoverounds. In all seriousness, chanting USA when expelling a gay couple is no different than the islamafacist crap they are so scared of and want to bomb into the dark ages.

Chet Kincaid March 19, 2012 at 9:40 am

Will someone explain to me why this was not entirely pointless?

upthruster March 19, 2012 at 9:46 am

Well, clearly the lesson here is if the country wants to encourage patriotism, there needs to be a lot more man-on-man action in public.

Joey_Blau March 19, 2012 at 2:01 pm

"we are not invaders,"

we come in peace! to serve Iraqis! hmmm green sauce….

Joey_Blau March 19, 2012 at 2:04 pm

I just finished a book about Eisenhower as president. wow! did we kick ass… covert ops all over the world. It was great that we overthrew a grass roots reform movement in Guatemala and installed a military dictator.

because.. Communists! and men kissing.. and dogs and cats mating.

C_R_Eature March 18, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Abilities. I have Abilities! Mom was wrong! *sob*

C_R_Eature March 18, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Well, now you've exhibited better grammar than 65% of the people I run into. I ain't no English Snob, neither. It's been a long time since I had formal English classes too, but I love the look of the language and how it feels when I use it well.
I do a bit of writing , among other things, for a living but it's all dreadfully technical stuff. I love to come in to Wonkette and just let my head unwind, getting away with things that are absolutely Verboten in the workplace. Being able to describe someone who pissed you off as "That Cunt" is a bonus, too and I hope I never screw up and put the phrase into a work email, or worse.

Negropolis March 18, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Abilities as in the fact that we are specially abled?

not that Dewey March 19, 2012 at 12:53 am

I'm afraid you're going to have to actually walk to the nearest hipster video store to find this. When I searched on Netflix, the search returned "High School Musical", for some reason.

Amazon has it on VHS, used, like-new, for only $1.76.

And when you're done with that, watch Full Frontal and The Limey. I'd never laughed so hard as I did at Nicky Katt's performances in both of these fine movies.

C_R_Eature March 19, 2012 at 5:50 am

Do we get our own bus? Can I say that?

Negropolis March 19, 2012 at 6:08 am

A bus of dubious proportions? I'm doing it again! Somebody stop me; for the love of god, stop me! I'll tell you what hell is; hell is separation from Wonkette for even a day.

C_R_Eature March 19, 2012 at 6:45 am

A differently-sized bus?

You'll know when it's all gone Too Far when Wonkette-isims begin to creep into your everyday conversions and professional writing. Take it from me.

Nothingisamiss March 19, 2012 at 7:48 am

Oh, so very good to see you.

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