Cee Lo is a porn star?

We hope you have been saving up your outrage, dear readers, because hoh boy: Barack Obama has invited singer Cee Lo Green to perform at a fundraiser in Atlanta! But what’s the issue? It can’t be that Matt Drudge is upset about the swears, about Cee Lo Green having a hit song titled, “Fuck You,” because Mitt Romney just recently appeared with talentless idiot Kid Rock, whose repertoire includes a song titled, “Fuck That.” Help us out, News Media and Twitter, why should we be upset that Barack Obama is a fan of a five-time Grammy award-winning musician?

First of all, because Rush Limbaugh is the real victim of this and every other injustice on earth:

Second of all, think of the children. Surely Sasha and Malia disapprove, in the way that all adolescent children disapprove of most popular music:

Third of all, the Washington Examiner just needs to point this out, in their headline: “WH: Obama ‘a fan’ of singer accused of homophobia.” Here is the quote from their story proving that Cee Lo Green hates gays: “I most certainly am not harboring any sort of negative feeling toward the gay community.” See?

Or, you know, the wingnuts are just upset because Cee Lo is a black. [Twitter/ Washington Examiner]

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  • LetUsBray

    Oh for fuck's sake.

    • arihaya

      you mean, for forget's sake?

    • Darthhippy

      It's the high point of non-story.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I think we're all getting tired of saying that. And November is still many months away.

  • SecretMuslin

    I am indifferent toward Cee Lo's music, but his abnormally short T-Rex arms really give me the creeps.

  • C_R_Eature

    Isn't there a Brother's Grimm story called "The Boy Who Cried Manufactured Outrage"?

    • Toomush_Infer

      Didn't the wolves eventually ignore him?….or was he the one forced to eat himself, limb by limbaugh..?

    • Yeah, and the boy eventually died while wandering around the streets of Brentwood in a drug, alcohol, and mindless rage induced stupor.

      • MilwaukeeKent

        Too soon! [checks watch] Nope, right on time.

    • No, I think it was some kind of "Dragon Tattoo" rip off.

  • bagofmice

    What's with all of these blah entertainers. You think he could hire someone to spice things up a bit.

  • The only 'Republican Approved' guest vocalist would be reanimated Perry Como.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Bing Crosby, also. They like his "hands on" approach to child-rearing.

    • OneYieldRegular

      You have, I assume, seen this SCTV gem:

      • thebeatgoeson

        That clip was my first thought as well! I was gonna say that reanimating Perry wasn't possible since he was never animated in the first place!

    • Chichikovovich

      So not true and absolutely unfair. Why just a few days ago Mitt's son Tangle was joyously proclaiming Wango Tango the Romney campaign's new theme song. Mitt's just nuts for the Nuge!

  • BlueStateLibel

    So when is Mayor Bloomberg going to pat victim Rush Lambaugh's fat hand and croon, "There, there, it's all right."

  • Barb

    "First of all, because Rush Limbaugh is the real victim of this and every other injustice on earth"
    Rush had Elton John sing at his wedding. Everyone knows that Elton makes fun of people with irritable bowel syndrome in that Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds song.
    "The girl with colitis goes by"
    What a bully!

    • I figured Rocket Man would be more IBS insensitive.

    • AlterNewt

      I thought it was "The girl with colitis goes bi". But you know how it is with lyrics sometimes.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      "You hear them and all of a sudden you say to yourself, 'Life in the Fast Lane?' That's what they're saying right there? You think, 'why have I been singing 'wipe in the vaseline?' how many people have heard me sing 'wipe in the vaseline?' I am an idiot.”


  • I'd rather Barry invite "Rage Against The Machine" just to see the wingnuts take a collective shit. Drudge's siren would be blaring at Defcon 1.

    Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me…

    • pdiddycornchips

      Insane Clown Posse, or, to really make their heads explode, a one time only reunion of NWA. They can open with "fuck the police"

    • CZL

      All hell can't stop us now 2012!

    • James Michael Curley

      I'm so old I'm the only one I know who remembers the Fugs "Up Against the Wall Motherf****r" or may it was too much acid in the 60's.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Obama's too conservative for Rage.. Though, I am sure Half-breed Kenyan guitarist Tom Morello has a little love for his fellow Manchurian Harvard alum.

  • memzilla

    Well, Drudge and Rush live in Florida, a hotbed of cocaine trafficking and boat people from Cuba and Haiti. Guess they're in favor of hard drugs, organized crime, and illegal immigration, then, because they could live in Utah to prove they aren't.

    Will someone please turn off the giant a**hat magnet in Florida, plz, ktnxbai.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Wait. Wait wait wait wait.

    Obama listens to a black musician and once had a black professor.

    By the transitive property of wingnut logic, he wants to enslave all white people into a XXX-rated Shariah concentration camp and force churches to provide abortions during mass!! IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!!

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Well, that's it! Off to Canada I go!

    • finallyhappy

      Do you know that he is also married to a black woman and has 2 black children.

    • BlueStateLibel

      I once had an Iranian poli sci professor – arrest me now.

      • PsycWench

        I had a black roommate. We cooked together, ate together and everything. I'm probably in for life.

      • James Michael Curley

        Me too, N. Fatami. He was also Ambassador to the US under Mosqadec and was recalled and imprisoned when the Shah was reinstated. (My spelling is horrible this morning, screw it.)

  • mormos

    black people aren't supposed to be in the white house dammit!

  • SorosBot

    Since apparently we should avoid naughty language: Matt Drudge, Forget You.

    • Chichikovovich

      Matt Frudge, Duck you.

      • SorosBot

        Or better yet, Cluck You.

        • If I remember correctly wingnuts where very consternipated about evil PBS and CeeLo around this time.

    • When teh fuckety fucking fuck did that fucking happen?

      Oh, for FUCK'S SAKE. R U SRS?

      • SorosBot

        No, not serious, just mocking the wingnuts fainting over the use of the word fuck; also Forget You, which is Cee Lo's radio-edited version of Fuck You.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I am impressed that the word "fuck" now requires an X-rating. Here I kept thinking I had heard it used in various action movies.

      AAAND now I see that you said the same thing many hours ago, just a couple of threads down. Fuck.


      • SorosBot

        Hee; that's fine, the claim that saying "fuck" is X-rated is so mind-bogglingly stupid it can't be stressed enough.

        • Crank_Tango

          Remember when Dick Cheney told Pat Leahy to go x-rate himself on the Senate floor? No, me neither.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Does that make them Crazy? Yes. That they understand.

  • SorosBot

    PAS, whoever you are? The word "fuck" is not X-rated. It's not even R-rated; you can say it in PG-13 movies, though only once.

    • Extemporanus

      Thank fucking god Miss Manners apparently didn't even listen to the fucking song, or the multiple fucking mentions of the words "shit" and "nigga" woulda earned that fucking tweet a XXX-rating.

      • Crank_Tango

        how about "shut your fucking face, unclefucker"?

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Why the Limbaugh comparison? "Imafatdick" has been in his lexicon for years. Or that's what it sounds like he is saying.

  • MissTaken

    I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind.

    • Negropolis

      Verily, there was something so pleasant about that place…

      Seriously, Cee Lo is a fucking lyrical genius, and I'm pissed these troglodytes get to have a say about anything he does, at all.

  • arihaya

    if Obama invited Far East Movement he would have been called anti-white pro-Chinese appeaser

  • ElPinche

    Wait till the wingnuts hear about Cee Lo & Goodie Mobb:

    And "crooner ?" Man, they do wish it was 1950.

    • Knot_Eye

      Thank you for this reference. Some peeps just don't know (nor have ever given a shit about Golden Age hip-hop). To them, Cee-Lo Green is just another flavor of the day who might appear in their imaginary American Idol fantasies to be unfavorably compared to Aerosmith or Peter Frampton or whoever (and I'm talking about the commentators here).
      This is not to say Cee-Lo's current work is great, but come on.
      And I'm willing to bet most of the commentators here don't even know what "ceelo" is without googling.
      Oh hey.

      • Big Gip approves.

      • ElPinche

        werd. Goodie Mobb, Outkast, Dungeon Family were the 'dirty south' but it was all just really really good hip hop.

  • Can you imagine if Barry said he was a fan of Johnny Mathis??

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Meh. Wake me when Obama invites Buck Angel to the White House and the Drudge Sirens bounce on the web page in masturbatory alarm.


      Hell, he should invite Buck Satan & the 666 Shooters while he's at it

    • I love me some Buck Angel.

  • What's actually WORSE is that Cee Lo tortured small animals when he was a kid, so I say send the SOB to GITMO and forget about it!

  • The nears are near!

  • OneYieldRegular

    In light of their sudden concern about the denigration of women I feel positively diminished.

  • moar_plz

    If every songwriter who wrote a song about hating an ex girlfriend is a misogynist, that would make Bob Dylan the King Lord Emperor Woman Hater of the Universe.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      "…lost you, lost you to the summer wind."
      To be fair it's the swears they probably object to more than the sentiment, they're all in favor of saying bad things about women, but it's the usual false equivalency and missed point. On the other hand, after they beat you, they'll buy you dinner and hold the car door.

  • Loaded_Pants

    Why does the President like all that black music?! Why can't he listen to that nice young feller Pat Boone.

  • edgydrifter

    I hope Barry invites Lady Gaga and 2 Live Crew to his next inauguration so we can watch the concern trolls completely stroke out.

  • fuflans

    hey drudge:

    fuck you
    and fuck her too.

  • Callyson

    Now I Know, That I Had To Borrow,
    Beg And Steal And Lie And Cheat.
    Trying To Keep Ya, Trying To Please Ya.
    'Cause Being In Love With You Ass Ain't Cheap.
    Sounds like Newt's theme song…

  • fuflans

    'doug rink' looks to be wearing a sweater vest and 'sweet pear' is just gross.

  • SexySmurf

    I want to play Six Degrees of Obamanation, too. I once talked to Crispin Glover on the phone (true story!). He was in At Close Range with Keifer Sutherland, who was in A Few Good Men with Kevin Bacon, who was in Beyond All Boundaries with Neil Patrick Harris, who was in the Harold and Kumar movies with Kal Penn, who worked for Obama. That practically makes me and Obama BFFs. We all know what type of comments I make. Why won't Obama repudiate my intolerant hate speech?!?

    • finallyhappy

      My husband met with the rabbi who is Michelle's second cousin. I walked past Kal Penn in Farragut Square a few years ago and said hi as he was walking home from the White House. And David Axelrod spoke at my daughter's college -so I am Obama's BFF. I limit my hate speech to saying that the GOP candidates are morons and Rush Limbaugh is a fat drug addicted fucker – as Obama's BFF- that could cause problems

    • SorosBot

      Wait, I once met Obama back when he was campaigning for the Illinois State Senate, and again when he ran for the US House in the primary against Bobby Rush (he lost the second; I voted for him in both) – I guess that means he must agree with and endorse every singe thing I say here.

      • Native_of_SL_UT

        Way to go. Drudge will probably read this and the next siren will be for you.

    • DCBloom

      I got ya'll beat. Obama is my 3rd cousin once removed

      • snoopyfan2010

        Nice! Mom's side or dad's side?

        • DCBloom

          Moms side. My only claim to fame….. but it's a good one!

          • No shit!

          • DCBloom

            Not like I know him or anything…. I was a campaign volunteer in 2008. During that time, I took on a little side project doing hubby's family tree.

            Right after the election, I decided to do mine. My dad's side was difficult because they were German Jews, so I did my mom's side. First thing i did was google my great grandfather's name. All the results had Obama's tree. I couldn't believe it! So, I did a little more research just to be sure.

            My husband urged me to write him a letter, so I did. I've been getting a X-mas card from him every year since.

          • ZOMG, that is just too fucking cool. I would KEEEEL to be you. Just so I could say I was cuzzins wit' Mr. TooCoolForWords O.

          • DCBloom

            Except that my sexytime thoughts about him are a little gross now, especially since I can see my grandfather in his eyes.

            My kids love it, though

          • Native_of_SL_UT

            Move to Alabama and it will be OK.

          • James Michael Curley

            I get Christmas cards too. The last one arrived in late February. Can't figure that one out.
            "Bill and Hillary" sent a thank you note in late Nov. 1992 which was signed in real ink. During their years in the WH I got a card every year and I knew a guy in the communications office who assured me that if it said "Bill and Hillary" it was personally signed.

          • DCBloom

            Yours is cooler than mine. I seriously doubt that mine are personally signed. Especially since the last 2 they added Bo's paw print :)

          • James Michael Curley

            My district in the town I lived in was a ‘target district’ and a district being used by the campaign to tack polling, so I had a lot of contacts with the campaign in 92. Clinton, I am told, was a fanatic about making a personal reach out. I think the current versions, though they appear mass mailed, are because a couple of the Clinton people are back.

          • DCBloom

            Interesting! I was surprised that I heard anything back at all. I bet the poor guy had cousins coming outta the woodwork after the election.

  • Extemporanus

    Perhaps this fucked-up version would be more to your liking, Rink.

    • Damn–neither Lopez nor Shatner have a neck.

    • James Michael Curley

      Shatner will go down in entertainment history as the most successful self parody of a parody.

  • Terry

    "Help us out, News Media and Twitter, why should we be upset that Barack Obama is a fan of a five-time Grammy award-winning musician?"

    Because both Obama and Cee Lo are black and Romney and Kid Rock are not. That makes Cee Lo more threatening and more scandalous than Kid Rock.

  • Extemporanus

    "Barack Obama has invited singer Cee Lo Green to perform at a fundraiser in Atlanta!"

    I guess the change in his pocket wasn't enough.

    • ColonelDoctor

      I cannot upfist that enough.

  • C_R_Eature
    • Dashboard Buddha
      • C_R_Eature

        Fuck You for Existing in the first place.

        Ok, now that 's just Awesome. Thank you.

        I'm out of FUCK songs for the moment, but I still think Drudge is an Asshole!

  • coolhandnuke

    Does "X-Rated Crooner" mean he merits a "10."

  • DarwinianDemon

    Why do we need all these new music groups? Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974. It's a scientific fact.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      I respectfully disagree…true perfection wasn't achieved until the aborning of Bon Jovi.

      • DarwinianDemon

        Aw man, I love Bon Jovi! This snark is getting too real!

    • James Michael Curley

      Blast Feemery!
      Bruce, Jon and Southside Johnny elevated rock to new heights of perfection down here on the Jersey Shore. All their best work sprung from cages on highway 9 in 74 and later.

  • Chichikovovich

    OH NO! A crooner! A Jazz singer!

  • Jeffrey Grant, DVM

    I once saw Kid Rock perform at a music festival. His stage featured a giant inflatable middle finger and several women dressed in american flag string bikinis. And I shed a tear for there is no greater way to honor our flag than to shove it between the crack of a bleached ass.

    • salt_bagel

      Anal bleaching is as American as hot dogs (and also the same anatomically).

    • Negropolis

      Kid Rock is notorious for lighting up a big cigar during his shows, and telling the establishment managers to fuck off when they ask him to put it out.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Considering who his daddy is, I doubt anyone complains.

        Also, pretty sure the Cheddar Bob character in 8 Mile is based on Bob "Richie" Ritchie, son of a Cadillac dealer.

  • Chichikovovich

    Also, just to add one thing that can't be said enough: D.RINK: It was not the word Limbaugh used that disgusted people, it was the ideas he was expressing It would have been every bit as bad, and people would have been every bit as (correctly) angry if he had said "woman of easy virtue" and "woman of negotiable affection" while flatly lying about what Sandra Fluke said at every turn, and asking her to post videos of herself having sex online.

    • Thank you. I cheer Rush's foul language because without it the sentiments he expressed would have received no attention, I fear.

  • ItsMrTheOwl2You

    Wait'll some ballsy intern does some actual research and finds out that Cee Lo collaborated with Bruno Mars on the song. Bruno Mars was arrested for cocaine possession – Obama must have raging '80's style coke parties in the Lincoln Bedroom!!

    • HistoriCat

      "Liberal news media site breaks story – Obama coke parties happening in White House."

      • Do you actually think we would get credit?

        More like "Liberal news media breaks story? Obama coke parties happening in the White House." Or maybe they would specify Lincoln Bedroom, just to subtly remind people of The Evil Clinton.

        • Crank_Tango

          Liberal news media tries to get out ahead of the story for dear leader…

  • salt_bagel

    Cee Lo is pornographic because he sexes thousands of people at the same time with his voice.

  • Right wing wingnuts… they love to imagine that they are turning the tables with stuff like this.

    they have no ability to grasp how petty they look.

  • pinkocommi

    Obama's rendition of "Let's Stay Together" was surprisingly good. His "Sweet Home Chicago" was nice enough. But, I am excited that this Cee Lo invitation is a natural opportunity for Obama to sing Cee Lo's "Fuck You" – in honor of the Republitards, of course.

  • snoopyfan2010

    Or, you know, the wingnuts are just upset because Cee Lo is a black.

    Why do you have to be such a racist???

  • PsycWench

    Too bad he didn't invite this young woman as well.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Oh, he SHOULD.

    • C_R_Eature

      I absolutely love this. Bookmarked. Thanks!

      I want to see her perform this behind Barry at his next SOTU address.

    • James Michael Curley

      Should I have had the sound on?

  • rocktonsam

    don't those people have enough to hate Bammz with already?

    • BarackMyWorld

      What's funny is I bet in 20 years they'll try to whitewash how terrible they were to Barry like they do now with Bill Clinton.

  • JohnnyQuick

    Breaking from my Long-time Lurking just to vent about how much I hate the stupid Examiner. Nothing so annoying as having to decline some polite DC natives who are just being paid to push that wannabe-toilet-paper at you when you get to the top of a Metro escalator.

    Also, has anyone else seen the "Official Newspaper of 2012" signs on the mostly-abandoned Washington Times' machines? Does the Moonie calendar coincide with the Mayan One?

  • spends2much

    I hope that in his second term (please!) Obama unleashes it on the Righties, with an NWA reunion, and Ice- T and Coco at a state dinner.

    • Loaded_Pants

      How about a Public Enemy reunion? The right would truly shit their collective pants.

  • fitley

    I'll bet the President's sponsors are gonna drop like …

    flies off of Rush.

  • fitley

    When Obama is re-elected he's going to recite Dolemite as his acceptance speech.

    • All pimpin all the time, so help me God.

    • doloras

      Some folks say that Emmanuel Rahm
      Was the baddest motherfucker ever seen…

  • Sassomatic

    I don't care if Limbaugh spends his entire show saying cunt cunt cunty cunt. I don't care about the word itself, it's his slut shaming of a specific woman for standing up against the GOP. But they know that.

    • Some of them know it's all just cynical political calculation. The rest of them listen to Rush and read the Red State blog.

      • Sassomatic

        By "they" I meant those manufacturing this outrage, not the knuckle-draggers who listen to the and repeat the nonsense.

  • Negropolis

    Meh. At least they referred to him as a crooner.

    BTW, the minute I heard he was going to be at an Obama fundraiser I knew that they were going to go apeshit over "Fuck You", a song they are probably singing in their cars, every day unedited.

    The entire motto of the Republican Party is "Fuck You."

  • The_Trainman

    Are Drudge, et al, behaving any differently than usual? No. They would make childish attacks on Obama even if he was unlikely to win reelection. But, it is satisfying to me that these whores all know Obama pretty much has a second term in the fucking bag, and they can't do shit about it . Makes all their whining kind of enjoyable to hear.

    Cee Lo should write some alt lyrics for his most famous song and perform that version for Obama. What rhymes with Drudge?

  • DrunkIrishman

    FUCK YOU! Oo, Oo, Ooo!

  • Negropolis

    Now, for some more Cee Lo Green.

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    Is this the same mainstream cunt who changed the lyrics of Imagine to "imagine all religions" and "imagine all possessions"?

    Yes, yes it is. Fuck him, fuck the right wing, and fuck anyone else who shits on Lennon's grave.

  • lochnessmonster

    I bet Obama drinks 7 Up like CeeLo too! The horror!

  • anniegetyerfun

    I take it Sly and The Family Stone was booked? I can think of a tune or two that would be appropriate.

  • Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢

    What part of "Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best" do these assholes not understand?

  • Neoyorquino

    Crooner? Is it suddenly 1938 again?

  • ttommyunger

    Prolly wouldn't be happy if he'd booked Pat Fucking Boone and Ted "Tiny Goober" Nugent to do a duet…. Fug'em!

  • DahBoner

    This rapper was conceived at low tide…

  • horsedreamer_1

    Cee-lo better be. Cool with the gays, being on the down-low & all.

  • ExecutorElassus

    Cee Lo is X-Rated? I don't think that term means what you think it does.

    A 12-year-old getting viciously sodomized by a rabid pit-bull. That's x-rated.

    The internet has made me dead inside :(

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