Big ol’ teddy bear Rush Limbaugh simply cannot understand for the life of him why some stupid idiots think the GOP is having a war on women. Your editrix cannot understand this either. (Nor does she have a passport and some Katrina Kash at the ready before they seal the borders of the Republic of Gilead.) Anyhoo, Rush has Logic for why Republicans are way more awesome than stupid effete lieberals when it comes to treatin’ little ladies just right. Are you ready, everyone? Really, are you ready for this? Okay. *CLEARS THROAT* Republicans take women to dinner and buy them diamonds, that why. MediaMatters-brand audio, after the jump!
Honestly, who can even be mad at this dumb fuck any more? It is like being mad at an incredibly stupid, fat, drug-addicted, offensive head of lettuce. Why even bother? Fine, Rush, give us some whore diamonds, for our whoring, whore whore whore. Yeah, we get it kiddo, we’re whores. No, no, you got us, we’re super offended, we promise! No really, really, we are! Run along now sweetie, there’s some cookies on the counter. Remember, Jesus loves you, and good job.
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Has his "wife" walked out on him yet?
I'm guessing he reminded her of the pre-nup.
She prolly has to stick it out a couple more months to be fully vested in the retirement plan. It's tough, but she had her lawyer check it out before she signed, and all.
If he's talking about how he buys dinner and diamonds, its pretty obvious he's laying the groundwork for capturing his next wife/beard/victim.
She knows she can milk him for one last diamond raid before she walks.
Nah, she's a whore.
She was bound to get tired of playing Princess Leia to his Jabba the Hutt…
YOU'RE GETTING A WHORE DIAMOND AND YOU'RE GETTING A WHORE DIAMOND!
As a male slut, I DEMAND my whore diamond.
YAY!
If you are with Rush, you can write your own check while he writes his own prescriptions.
Rush's been talking to Callista again hasn't he?
He plugs his cochlear implant into her ethernet port and they share data Borg style.
stupid, fat, drug-addicted, offensive head of lettuce
Female humans: lettuce prey.
I give and I give, and this is the thanks I get? What's wrong with these bitches?
Last we heard, Rush doesn't have a half-a-million dollar credit line at Tiffany's.
"they open car doors for women"
Yeah, and they also open up women's vaginas for the transvaginal ultrasound. I'll get my own door if that's the price, thanks…
This is good news for Tiffanys.
And for some of Mittens' friends, who own jewelry companies.
I guess he blew his chance to get Summer's Eve to sponser him.
It's because he's an insult to douches. Enema might be more apt.
His agent has Fleet's on the other line.
"The other line"?
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
Diamonds are a Fat Crybaby's best friend.
Diamonds are Whorever
"The Democrats actually think they are going to win with this"
Where on earth are they getting that idea?
Americans overwhelmingly regard the debate over President Barack Obama’s policy on employer-provided contraceptive coverage as a matter of women’s health, not religious freedom, rejecting Republicans’ rationale for opposing the rule. More than three-quarters say the topic shouldn’t even be a part of the U.S. political debate. http://www.businessweek.com/news/2012-03-14/repub…
Well, sure, but that is just the Liberal Media lying again. They probably didn't even adjust their poll for whether they were asking sluts.
To be fair, they can't understand why the N*ggers are always voting for Democrats either, since it's obvious the system has been rigged to keep them poor and uneducated.
He looks hawt in the top pic….cigar, Rolex, bedroom eyes……Mmmm mmmm mmmm
Way to kill the mood there, Crabby
Only to another Giant Amazon Leech, if it were blind, and hadn't had it for a year or three…
I'd click on that link, but I just know it would end with me puncturing my eardrums with an icepick.
You have to concede his point. Republicans do marry women. He's himself has done it 4 times(and, if the Enquirer is to be believed, he'll soon be looking for #5), Newt is at 3, Mitt gets as many as he wants, and so on, etc.
It's the family values. Bitchez can't resist that family values shit.
Yeah, librul assholes like George Cloony however, give you yummy, yummy cock. (librul men can get wood for women). Keep your diamonds you fat goiter, I'll buy my own.
SLOW DOWN! Dammit…I'm trying to take notes here.
"Yummy….yummeeeee…cock….."
OK, go on, please?
So Rush wants to give jewelry in exchange for the sexytime. You know what that makes him, right?
That makes him officially acknowledging the Enquirer story, actively looking for Wife #5?
Mmmm, I'm going out on a limb here and go with: "stupid, fat, drug-addicted, offensive head of lettuce "?
Hitler!
A John. John Limbaugh….it has a nice ring to it, a ring that he had to buy because women and little boys would never fuck him for free….allegedly.
James O’Keef?
"Republcians open car doors for Women…"
and then they kick them out of the moving car for looking at that black guy. Tuck and Roll, sluts and trolls! but really they love you because of diamonds.
Ike loves you baby. http://www.hulu.com/watch/270990/saturday-night-l…
"Republicans take women to dinner and buy them diamonds, that why."
Must mean there's no war on Dominican rentboys, then, either.
Yet another reason why they're called Blood Diamonds.
I seriously doubt Rush does that during that, you know, particular period of the cycle.
Being under Rush for 15 minutes could cause bruising, which I think is subcutaneous bleeding.
Diner, diamonds and sexytime with fat assholes. What else could women want?
I think Brietbart could use some company right now, Rush (there, I broke the rules).
Not to have to lift up the fat-apron before intercourse?
2L:
That lucky gal would need a bookmark to find little soldier – even if it were standing at attention.
I heard Rush lost some weight. That fat-apron must be all the way down to his knees.
Don't you just love unwrapping surprises!!
Cabbage Head lives!
"Santorum wins–they can't figure it out"
Yeah, what's driving that?
Santorum's surge is also the product of a notable gender gap, with Santorum holding a 10-point edge among Republican men and Romney winning Republican women by nine points. http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2012/02/14/c…
I saw that meme somewhere else today. Something along the lines of "If Santorum is such a terrible candidate as Liberals think he is, why does he keep winning?"
I guess they don't grasp the concept that the only thing he's winning is a REPUBLIKLAN primary.
Santorum beat Romney in Mississippi — and Albama!? — Wow! Very impressive.
Dittos, editrix!
As much as I hate Rush, if this bit is indicative of the quality of his commentary, I say keep him on the air. More fodder for our side!
Ice Ice Baby was shitty then, and it's shitty now.
Oh, come on, "smokin' MCs like a pound o' bacon" is a brilliant line!
Rush Limbaugh has officially pushed Editrix over the Costello Radius?
Oh I know that she's disgusted (Oh why's that?)
She feels so abused (Oh that's too bad)
As if we even need a reason to post a link to this.
This man's success is the proof there is no God.
Add Prejean, Joe the Plumber, Malkin, Coultier, Breitbart, Beck and any Heath/Palin.
Nah … just goes to show He has a wicked sense of humor.
Not necessarily. Old Testament Jehovah was fond of letting asshats rise to stellar heights, so that their ultimate smiting might be a public lesson for others.
I have absolutely thought that exact. same. thing…many times!
i does not care
Yeah, but liberals eat pussy. Like a starving man. . . .
I do it so much my beard looks like a glazed donut. Rush, he just sticks with the glazed donuts.
OMG!!! He's, like, so right! As a simple-minded woman (and single, at that) just throw some pretty rocks at me and I will worship you forever!!
Trouble is that it seems like more liberal men aren't such huge fans of women who just want baubles, but, STRANGELY, prefer women with their own minds and opinions.
Y'know, I did that in grade school and got suspended!
I have a rock garden, does that count?
So republicans are better because they have to pay women to have sex with them instead of getting it for free. Yup, that makes sense.
Pay?
Ahem, we Republicans prefer the more civilized word; "bribe."
I thought "coerce" was the proper term of art.
The word they think to themselves is "deserve".
I take it his new sponsor is DeBeers Consolidated Mines?
I wouldn't have sex with rush even if his dick spouted cures for cancer and million dollar bills. Which it doesn't.
Would unicorns sweeten the deal?
It depends on the sharpness of the horn. . .
What is it with the unicorn-love? Why is everyone so hot on unicorns?
They're just horses with dangerous headgear.
But lots of the time they sparkle and come in a variety of pastel hues.
And when they fart it smells like cotton candy and they poop turtle candies, and they continuously drop taxes on everyones income, no matter what the source might be. (It's in the republican "Con the Rubes Manual" Volume MCMLXIV)
He's right, I mean liberals are more likely to take a woman to a Communist Party meeting for a "date" and you're lucky if they even have coffee there.
Ah, but the coffee belongs to everyone, comrade!
From each according to his ability, and I was not able to bring coffee today. Sorry everyone.
Dang … we needed it, too.
Coffee houses where there is no coffee, smoking allowed, but no tobacco, poetry readings but no rhymes and dark, dark, really dark sunglasses even though the lighting is awful. Go really easy on the brownies and the candy "stamps" and avoid the ones with the smiley faces on them, they might only be WalMart stickers.
Now I know the correct carat to lure the womenz with.
Fat,
drunkhigh on prescriptions drugs, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.Ya know what would be great? If his wife had his fat, goofy ass committed for "observation".
Excuse me, but was that a direct endorsement of Newt Gingrich?
This guy is classic. His counter to this whole "war on women" idea is to say But we buy them dinner! And open car doors for them! I think the Editrix is right, this is just too hysterically clueless to get mad. I'll go her one better and suggest that Rush is Andy Kaufman in a fat suit.
Or Andy Dick.
I never believed that Andy really left us. I choose to believe this is true.
Has anyone ever seen Rush and Andy in the same place at the same time? I rest my case!
The transition from Tony Clifton to Rush Limbaugh does seem probable.
Well played, Andy Kaufman. Well played.
Viagra is diamond-shaped, too, you gunt-humping impotent whore.
You marry for money, you end up working for it, Mrs. Rush
That picture of him at the top of the post, worst Photoshop, ever.
Needs moar blingee
I have always relied on the porcine yet drug addled Rushbo for advice on sexin' the beyotches. So far so good.
Rush went on to say:
"I mean, I have to buy a very expensive dinner, get a women drunk, and give her all kinds of gifts just to get her in Bed with me. But liberals? They won't even buy a condom. How is this fair?"
has anyone noticed that our entire national discourse has become the dan ackroyd-jane curtain "jane, you ignorant slut" sketch from saturday night live 25+ years ago? this is history repeating itself, but in this case, first as farce, then tragedy.
Yes.
And Callista will get a Whore Tiara. Yes, she's got one already, but a girl can always use two.
One for upstairs, one for downstairs?
Proving once again why he's AM radio's preeminent bag of brain-farts in bloated human form.
Or karma.
Or justice.
You ladies just don't worry your purty li'l heads about this man business.
Don't ask me, I'm just a girl.
It is like being mad at an incredibly stupid, fat, drug-addicted, offensive head of lettuce.
Iceberg is the Jew of liberal salad making.
"Honestly, who can even be mad at this dumb fuck any more? It is like being mad at an incredibly stupid, fat, drug-addicted, offensive head of lettuce."
You forgot to mention Rush's small penis. But it is so incredibly tiny, and hard to find under the layers of blubber hanging off Rush' whale belly, it is easy to do.
Down by the river!
Care for some MD 20/20 my dear?
January is a wonderful vintage.
So both Ole Newt and Boss BlunderRush are just misunderstood?
Jon Stewart, as usual, nailed it. This conservatives-as-victims thing has gotten completely out of hand.
So that's why it is so hard to masturbate to!
Women are so sensitive. Take away a few trinkets like contraception and control of their vajajay's and they immediately start with the complaining and bitching.
How can it be that an extra large Hefty bag full of dog turds makes 40 megabucks a year?
Koyaanisqatsi!
There are reasons:
It's AM radio and there are only so many ballgames, and a pile of shit with flies buzzin over it would get an audience of idiots and losers.
There are enough angry and freaked out fearful middle to old aged men to form the audience of idiots and losers mentioned previously.
Rusty just says what the audience of idiots and losers would say if they had the balls to say it, and the guts to accept the consequences for it.
White Male Americans of a certain age and political persuasion are shitting bricks that there is someone in the white house who doesn't have the same skin color or small town American upbringing they have. Scary homosexual people are trying to get married and move next door and have sex in their front yards and women are going to have abortions on the altars of the church they attend once a year. Yes, Virginia; There is indeed a market for an extra large Hefty bag full of dog turds on the radio.
I appreciate your reply and agree with you that there will always be an audience for hate- and fear-mongering. And vermin like Limbaugh certainly have the right to spew whatever they want to. But it still makes me want to heave.
Well of course Republican men are better to women; I mean, I'm sure most self-respecting women prefer a man who gives her diamonds and other pretty things while demanding she act submissive, disrespecting her intellect and only caring for her body over one who treats her like an equal, cares to make sure she is sexually satisfied instead of just himself, and cares about conversation, her opinions and a meaningful connection instead of just physical attraction and sex.
Yes indeed. If divorce were not guaranteed to destroy my moral character and force me to begin abusing my children, I'd leave my liberal equal-partner husband this minute and go find a man who would laugh affectionately at my masters degree and pat me on the bum while asking me what's for dinner.
soros, do not make me have to think. you know i am shallow.
Women = whores, ipso fatso!
Hey Rush, it's OK – I used to feel that way too. Of course, I was 18 back then and then I grew the fuck up. Maybe you should try that. Jus' sayin.
I saw Olympia Snowe opening a car door for a woman one time.
Well, Olympia is twice the man that Rush could ever hope to be. You know, not size-wise, but in terms of being a good person with manners and shit.
Yes, and she may have taken exception to Rush's brilliant strategy of trying to defend Republicans from charges of sexism by talking about them as though they were all male.
It's not that they're all male – just that the men are the only ones who count!
I'll bet ol' Newt mounts Clitasa and just whispers 'whore' in her ear over and over and the whole time she's fantasizing getting fucked by Rush…I think I just threw up a little in my mouth with that image
aaaaaaahhhh, I get it now…first we get rid of all contraceptive coverage, then the violence against women act, then we remind the ladies how grateful they should be about getting jewelry and dinner and other "I'm sorry I cracked your collar bone" gifts, and finally women will have no choice but to go back to reading Sears & Roebuck catalogs and ironing their husbands' socks while cooking a scrumptious pot roast for dinner. A return to the 1950s, here we come!
Shorter Rush:
"Women are getting the wrong idea about Republicans because the liberal media keeps accurately quoting me"
OK. FUCK. What the fuck, idiots? I open doors for women (and other guys) all the time, because I'm nice and polite in polite company. I take pride in treating people with respect and deference in public, because fuck dude, if we all did, the world would be a better place. You see, I'm not a fucking moron who believes that my ego is the end all and be all of society.
I also love shooting guns, camping, fucking up shit, drinking beer, can build all kinds of shit, and a million other things. But I guarantee you, members of my family that know *all* of these things still probably buy into all of these idiotic tropes about left leaning people. You know why? Because they're fucking stupid. You have to be fucking stupid to believe these things, and the 20% of Americans that listen to this are without a doubt, beyond the point of no return in regards to their ignoran-imity.
20% is being generous. The fastest growing segment of our population is the blissfully, incurably stupid. If this were a decease, we'd call it a pandemic. We would then at least be able to justify a quarantine. I'm thinking Arizona would be perfect. Build the damn fence already!
Well, yeah the polls all seems to point to there being closer to 30% supporting just about every insane bullshit position handed down by these fire breathing dipshits, but I thought I would knock my generalization down to 20% to try to be fair and to accept the possibility that there are a huge portion of the idiots that just don't even understand the question they're being asked, or the positions that they hold, and don't have any ongoing raging animus to being a decent human being.
Wimmin love Rush Limbaugh and all his doughy goodness.
Ooo, that just made me think of the headline I'd lerve to see for Limpballs' obit following his death from an Oxy overdose: "Pills Bury Doughboy".
I can't help but think most of the Dittioheads are saying to themselves, "Hell, I hope my wife isn't listening, I don't want to waste my beer money on that shit."
Diamond-giving is for dudes who ain’t got no game…
Has this blob, who has created an empire of dumbfucks by talking on the radio, never just talked a woman into bed because they liked each other?
No.
What he said is in the Bible: give women stones and they commit adultery. No, wait!
Diamond-giving is for dudes that ain't got no game…
I suppose Rush gets the women all hot and bothered when he shows how sensitive he is by discussing the plight of the Feminazis.
The Republican Hierarchy: Print out this handy chart for future reference!
RepubliGod /ConservaJesus
Rich White Man
Rich White Man's Dog
"Soon-To-Be-Rich" White Conservative Man
"Soon-To-Be-Rich" White Conservative Man's Dog
Rentboys
Elemental Gold
Deep Fryers
Liberal
Blah/Messican/Muslin/Gay/Lesbian
Woman
Bitches don't know about my DIAMONDS!
So, when's he going to develop throat or tongue cancer?
Yes, Rush. I'm certain that the millions of Conservative trailer-dwellers who listen to twunts like you just shower their laydeez with diamonds. I bet they open the door for them, too. The door to the kitchen, anyway. While they say "Now make me a sammich 'fore I smack you agin'."
Interestingly enough, I've heard fundamentalist Muslim men make the same argument about their societies.
"Arab women love their lives! They get driven everywhere, and we give them all that they could want, and keep them protected."
Ergo, Rush = Islamic Fundamentalist. Maths, they are fun.
"What do you give women my fellow Republicans?" I give my bitch diamonds and if the cunt needs to get in somewhere i open the fucking door. I am a gentleman god damned.
"Republicans take women to dinner and buy them diamonds"
While dirty commie libruls actually listen to what women want rather than assuming they know best.
so if i give my woman some whore diamonds, I can watch the NCAA'Z?
Even with half a billion bucks in the bank, I still don't get how this guy manages to get laid.
Consider the source: Rush Limbaugh Marriage Rocks — Don't come a knockin' (but put stong jacks on either side of the van, 'cause that thing's gonna tip) http://www.nationalenquirer.com/celebrity/rush-li…
But would anyone have taken a bet on that not happening?
Does he give blood diamonds when it is that time of the month?
so i don't think i've ever heard rush for more than 10 seconds.
he really is in lala land isn't he?
the fact of the matter is – whether the 'war on women' is myth or not – repubs are doing terribly with women. the people on the right who do 'math' and 'count' and 'poll' are terrified of the the turn the campaign has taken in the last 12 weeks.
and rick santorum is doing worst of all.
does gross man believe what he's saying? i'm really curious, b/c i'm pretty o'reilly doesn't.
This is good news for Tiffany's.
Guys, he's gay.
On the other hand, a Costa Rican pool-boy will take it up the ass for five bucks, and for freedom, also.
When you're nothin', but a boyfriend, dangling by a thread — keep in mind, the bottomline, diamonds are a girl's best friend.
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