And now we will interrupt your Friday with this killer lead-in from CNN: “We got something weird happening in Washington, D.C.” News you can use! What is it, confused CNN anchor? “George Clooney is standing in the middle of a group of people.” Woah, that is, like, so weird! GO ON? Let’s see, the police appear to be arresting some people, yeah? “I don’t know if it was because of George Clooney or they’re on private property or if, you know, it’s a security risk or they were protesting too much.” Hm. Let’s go with, “because of George Clooney.” The Descendants was kind of annoying, right? What else can you tell us, CNN? “This must be an embassy. Do we know what this building is? We don’t know what this building is, but I would suspect they were protesting in front of some embassy dealing with Sudan.” Can the chyron that has been sitting on the bottom of the video this whole time confirm this guess?


Now here is some of that fancy “actual information” stuff, from MSNBC:

Actor George Clooney, long a political activist, was arrested and handcuffed outside the Sudanese embassy in Washington for protesting the country’s blockage of food and aid from entering the Nuba Mountains area of the country, as well as its treatment of its people.

Clooney’s father, journalist Nick Clooney, 78, was with him and was also arrested, as were Martin Luther King III, NAACP President Ben Jealous, Rep Jim McGovern (D-Mass.) and Rep. Jim Moran (D-Va.) and former Rep. Tom Andrews (D-Mass.). The group was handcuffed with plastic handcuffs and were taken away by police.
Speaking before the large crowd that gathered to watch the protest, Clooney said “we need immediate humanitarian aid into Sudan before it becomes the worst humanitarian crisis in the world.”

He went on to say that the group wanted “the (Sudanese) government in Khartoum to stop randomly killing its own innocent men, women and children. Stop raping them, and stop starving them.”

Sounds reasonable, which probably means the police are waterboarding George Clooney with pepper spray up the nose in a secret torture chamber right this minute. [CNN via TPMTV/ MSBNC]

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  • Barb

    Bad George! Go to my room!

    • SorosBot

      Already getting dirty again, while still in recovery? Good for you Barb!

      • Barb

        Just trying to keep up with you.

    • Callyson

      Send him to me when you're done.

      • WIDTAP

        Now Call, you don't want Barb's sleepy seconds.

  • x111e7thst

    Obviously we need to bomb Iran. Thank you George for your courage in making that clear.

  • Extemporanus

    He is a man of constant sorrow.

  • Antispandex

    Arrested for playing with Stacey Keiblers elf in public?

    • I wish I was that short, if you know what I mean.

  • This just in to CNN: Million Moms March on DC, Demand Free Clooney, Some Other Stuff.

  • Hera Sent Me

    CNN would report the start of World War III by saying, "Unusual mushroom-shaped clouds have been seen over a number of American cities. Meteorologist Bonnie Schneider is in our studio to discuss possible causes."

    • "Well, Rick, it all began with a blinding flash and a loud boom, so I'm predicting thunderstorms for the entire nation. Better button up your overcoats, folks!"

    • Jerri

      Then they'd put her in some kind of virtual reality hologram to report on what it might be like inside the cloud.

    • Antispandex

      "Several people have reported some nasty burns, so don't you forget your sun screen today!"

  • FNMA

    A friend of mine said, "Wish I looked that good last time I got arrested."

    • fuflans

      hahahaha they get dennis miller and victoria jackson.

      we get clooney.

      really, if there were no other reason to be a libtard….

  • OneYieldRegular

    Good to see that a trusted news organization like CNN is right on top of the story, since I read this morning at 5:30 a.m. right here on the Internets that George Clooney would be joining a protest today in front of the Sudanese embassy.

    • finallyhappy

      yup, it was in the Post this morning which must print at 1 or 2 am in the morning

  • LesBontemps

    Killing? Rape? Starvation? In Sudan? Get off my teevee, there's March Madness on!

    • really! We haven't even finished mourning UConn!

  • CNN – the worldwide leader in inexplicable confusion.

    This, itself, however, is not news.

  • bumfug

    When did it become news that something befuddled a CNN reporter?

    • CivicHoliday

      It's news to CNN when CNN is confused. Oh, and BTW your avatar and my avatar should escape from the zoo and flick off some Australian tourists sometime.

  • Sudan to Clooney:

    "I like rape!"

  • No, really, the ascendency of Fox was all about the ideology.

  • Jerri

    He's in a tight spot.

    • HarryButtle

      Ulysses Everett McGill libel!

  • MissTaken

    CNN would've figured it all out if Clooney just hologramed himself to the embassy.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Oh come on, we all know the real hero on Sudan is Sarah Palin. One of her many liberties during her VP 'debate' was to highlight her divestment of State funds against those atrocious war mongers. . .what? Wait.

    "When I and others in the legislature found out that we had some millions of dollars [of Permanent Fund investments] in Sudan, we called for divestment through legislation of those dollars," Palin said.

    • fuflans

      wow i didn't remember that.

      is there anything grifter hasn't tainted / twisted / lied about?

      i mean really?

  • SorosBot

    Fox probably opened with "George Clooney, the liberal star of The Facts of Life and Batman and Robin…"

  • Yea, mine is 35, and I have bad knees.

    • Extemporanus

      I hear ya, Stretch — mine's 37", and both my knees and my back hate my fucking guts.

      Fortunately, I'm really good at doing handstands…

  • WiscDad

    Ben Jealous? Is he a hip-hop star?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    this is beautiful, KBJ

    News you can use!
    What is it, confused

  • Gleem McShineys

    There seems to be this window, like any other window on my computer, but this one has some kind words in it, with a few pictures. There is a cat on the side near the words, and some disembodied women's glasses up near the top? Here is a box. We will report the information as it comes in, right here in this text box. Stay tuned.

  • neiltheblaze

    I have to say, it must be kind of cool to get busted protesting an embassy with your Dad.

    • DetectiveGrey

      In the very least, you won't get in trouble with your parents. Well, you will be getting in trouble *with* your parents, but you get the idea.

    • finallyhappy

      We didn't get arrested(because I don't want to) but my daughter and I have protested together- living in DC gives you a wide range of options- the war, contraceptive rights, any number of evil dictatorships- the choices are limitless.

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    George Clooney objects to obscene human rights violations against women.

    Rush Limbaugh obscenely objects to contraception used by women.

    I think I know who wins this comparison.

    • AnAmericanInTO

      In ALL ways, Clooney wins in comparison to El Douche-bo.

  • "Sounds reasonable, which probably means the police are waterboarding George Clooney with pepper spray up the nose in a secret torture chamber right this minute."

    I'm sure that Syriana training will come in handy.

  • MissTaken

    Stop raping them, and stop starving them

    That sounds awfully commie Agenda 21-ish.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Sounds very anti-Republican, don't it?

  • To be fair, there's a lot that CNN is confused about… like facts, crazy shit as opinion, that Ewick Ewick's son has a face for TV and mind like a steel trap and why people laugh when someone yells at John King "Help me Obi-wan, you're our only hope."

  • Goonemeritus

    Good for George It’s nice to see this kind of activism making a comeback. I plan to celebrate my retirement one day by getting arrested on regular basis.

    • GOPCrusher

      But drunk and disorderly isn't as cool as protesting civil rights violations.

    • finallyhappy

      Hey, are you me? i thought i would get arrested after retiring(because getting arrested even for civil disobedience where I worked could have gotten me fired) but I have not done so(retired- not been arrested). I still protest but my husband asks that I please not get arrested as I would not like even a short time in DC jail.

  • George Clooney is dreamy….

  • MissTaken

    Hey Rush! I bet Clooney has never needed to buy expensive dinners and diamonds to get laid.

    • SorosBot

      Hell, that smile makes me feel excited and I'm straight as they come.

    • And yet I bet he's wanted to.

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      Also, I'm pretty sure Mrs. SL_UT would clean out our savings account to buy diamonds and fancy dinners for one night with George.

    • CessnaDriver

      All Mr. Clooney has to do is stick his head out his front door and say, "next!".

  • BlueStateLibel

    How do people "protest too much?"

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      By being Queen Gertrude.


      Prince Hamlet thought Uncle a traitor
      For having it off with his Mater.
      Revenge Dad or not?
      That's the gist of the plot.
      And he does, nine soliloquies later

  • ingloriousbytch

    This is what democracy looks like!


  • MissTaken

    He's already released and looking for some post-jail time release if you catch my drift, and I know you do.

    One reporter asked how Clooney's girlfriend, actress and former pro wrestler Stacy Keibler, would react to the arrest. "She's probably thrilled," Clooney deadpanned.

    • "My name is George Clooney, and I just got out of prison and I'm looking for some trim."

  • jjdaddyo

    I am looking forward to him recreating the prison visit scene from Midnight Express with Stacy Keibler.

  • SockBunny

    I've tried and I've tried but it's impossible not to succumb to Clooney-love. Eff you to hell, you frighteningly handsome, righteous babe of a man.

  • Veritas78

    I listened to his Senate testimony on the Sudan. He should be on the other side of that big wooden thingy, asking the questions, and I suspect that soon, he will be.

    We could do a lot worse. Imagine a colloquy between him and say, Inhofe?

    For one thing, only one of them would be drunk. And only one would be hot.

    • GOPCrusher

      I don't think he would take the pay cut.

      • Veritas78

        I hear he has some savings.

  • pinkocommi

    George Clooney arrested? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.

  • Callyson

    "I love when I'm right"
    More quality news reporting from CNN…JFC…

  • "Bail is set at an eye-twinkle and a head-waggle, you handsome, handsome devil!!" (gavel)

  • SeanMEnright

    "This guy" is the president of the NAACP, you fucktard. This is shoddy even for the clowns at CNN. This country sucks.

  • Wonderthing

    If you look closely you can see that the plastic handcuffs were really loosely put on him. So he could sign autographs and shit.

    • fuflans

      huh. i don't think that was the point.

      but maybe it's just me.

  • fuflans

    i love this man. mr fuflans has a man crush on clooney, but don't tell him i told you so.

  • snoopyfan2010

    You know what this issue needs? A Phony Kony. Then it will be okay.

  • snoopyfan2010

    Well if you can get their own people to force them off of the land, why bother with imperialism?

  • Manhattan123

    Who was the CNN anchor? It sounds like something the Wolfman would babble.

  • ttommyunger

    My 75 year-old sister gets moist at the sound of his fucking name….His and Frank Sinatra's.

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