One in the pink two in the stinkTexas has been havin’ itself a little fun this week the way it usually likes to have fun: by dragging Planned Parenthood behind its pickup truck, until it is dead. But whoops, it seems their new law outlawing Texas Medicaid’s Women’s Health Program participation in any women’s clinic that is tied to abortion is against the Law, just like so many other new Texas laws are against the law, because Big Brother! That goldang federal gubmint is always telling the poor old states what they can and cannot do with federal money. HOW IS THAT EVEN FAIR?

After Texas blocked abortion providers’ participation in its Medicaid Women’s Health Program, the White House officially notified the state Thursday afternoon that it will pull all funds from the program, which totalled about $39 million last year.

Twenty-nine states participate in the Medicaid’s Women Health Program, which extends Medicaid coverage for reproductive health services to lower-income women who do not qualify for the rest of the entitlement program’s benefits. In Texas, the program served about 130,000 women, with the federal government footing 90 percent of the bill. About half of the clinics participating in the program would have been disqualified by the new legislation.

Rick Perry will blame the White House for endangering women’s lives right about … now.

[WaPo Wonkblog, via ThinkProgress]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • nounverb911

    Texas has women?

    • Under all that hair, somewhere.

      • OneDollarJuana

        Sometimes, in the hair!

    • SorosBot

      Not for very much longer.

      • gullywompr

        I'm setting up a home for displaced Texas women even as we speak.

    • Very funny! You know perfectly well their governor is a woman. WAIT! WHAT? Oops.

    • teebob2000

      Nope, I hear tell it's just steers and queers.

      • And I ain't seein' no horns on 'em…

    • Terry

      I miss Ann Richards and Molly Ivins.

    • Sure. Herds of them, roaming the plains, watched over by the benevolent menfolk, breeding on demand, as is the natural order set up by God and the Texas legislature in their wisdom.

  • AlterNewt

    Evacuate the women, musicians and horses. Then….

    • Nostrildamus

      On second thought, leave the musicians.

      • AlterNewt

        Best if we sort through 'em first.

  • nounverb911

    All of a sudden Perry remembers he's governor?

  • hagajim

    Maybe the womenfolk ought to just start stone cold leaving all these states that have determined that they are third class citizens…just sayin'.

    • Preferred Customer

      You know, 80 percent of Republicans would secretly be just fine with that.

      • DetectiveGrey

        It'd improve their odds of finding the ideal rentboy for sure.

    • FakaktaSouth

      If you will tell me where the new underground railroad is, I am in. My county still has an (the?) abortion provider so I suspect they'll be burning the whole place not eviscerated by tornadoes to the ground before November. Let's go girls!

      • AlterNewt

        Come to Pasadena, Ca. Less than an hour from the beach, the mountains; 20 minutes to Hollywood.

        We will put you up till you get on your feet, of course.

        • FakaktaSouth

          Yay! Thanks! I would looooooooooooove it. Pasadena is beautiful, and the Rose Bowl! I wouldn't even have to miss football! With my luck I'd screw up somehow, and get stuck in Orange County. (Seems very similar to what I've got going on here already. But with oranges.)

          • AlterNewt

            Great! You do have that captivating drawl, right? That's very important.

          • FakaktaSouth

            That is by far the nicest way anyone has said that, but yeah I talk weird. I try very hard not be annoying though, I promise.

          • AlterNewt


      • Callyson
    • Callyson

      That's what I did after spending three long years in Arizona. Left a long time boyfriend behind, but could not take the right wing wackos for one more minute…

  • Wouldn't it be awesome if somebody bought The Alamo and turned it into an abortion clinic?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Yeah, where is the George Soros when you need him?

    • ALIVE!

      That would make it only the second-worst beat-down Texans received there.

  • "So that Bama wanna git tuff, eh? Ah tell yew whut there, Misser 'Pressdint'…yew go haid an pull those funs! Pull 'em! Pull alla 'em! We'll juss go secede an fine us a better country ta be part of an move thair!"

    • redarmyzombie

      Good lord, please, why won't they HURRY UP!?!?!?!?

  • neiltheblaze

    Yes, Rick Perry will blame the White House, but only Texans will listen to him, so no big whoop.

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    It is not the Federal government's job to interfere in women's private lives. That is clearly the State's role.

  • gullywompr

    This one is hard to snark to.
    "White House takes Texas hostage, demands release of abortions?"

  • nounverb911

    Did she do Dallas?

  • Preferred Customer

    What's Rick got on there, a Superbowl ring?

    • It's a reminder how deep he can stuff his finger in rentboy's ass before he reaches the "surprise".

    • V572 Flambé

      Aggie ring, proof that he "graduated" from Texas A&M "university," a modest distinction to be sure, like owning the most expensive Ford Escort.

      • Oh, so someone shit on his finger?

      • Fukui-sanYesOta

        Not that much wrong with A&M really. Thing is, we've seen his grades.

        • V572 Flambé

          I know. But as an ag school graduate myself I like to rip on them for the self-hate value.

        • Terry

          A&M has some good programs, particularly in engineering and ag. The problem with A&M, like other schools that let in "legacies", is that they have this slice of humanity there made up of goat ropers and prom queens, whose daddies have way too much money. For those folks, college is really just a place to meet potential wives or husbands who also come from rich, conservative Texas families.

          If the University would give those folks a separate campus, things would be a lot better in College Stagnation.

          On the other hand, A&M got rid of their journalism dept because a group of rich Former Students (they don't use the term alumni) objected on the grounds that journalism breeds liberalism.

          • Preferred Customer

            Do they not use the term "alumni" because so many of them did not actually "graduate?"

          • Terry

            No, it's because the Aggies are like the Mafia. Once you are in, you are always in. You are an Aggie for life, whether you like it or not.

        • Holy crap! And I though mine were bad.

    • Terry

      Hullabaloo, Kaneck! Kaneck!
      Hullabaloo, Kaneck! Kaneck!
      All hail to dear old Texas A & M,
      Rally around the Maroon and White,
      Good luck to the dear old Texas Aggies,
      They are the boys who show the real old fight.
      That good old Aggie spirit thrills us
      And makes us yell and yell and yell;
      So let's fight for dear old Texas A & M,
      We're goin' beat you all to–
      Rough! Tough! Real Stuff! Texas A & M!

      I mainly learned the words to the Aggie Fight Song so that after I sing it, my fellow Aggies look at me approvingly, then I announce I'm I big old liberal from the East Coast.

      • Jennyjen798

        I went to a high school in a suburb right outside Dallas. Our fight song was the Aggie fight song with a few word changes here and there. Hullbaloo Kaneck Kaneck?! I've always wondered what idiot made this shit up. Oh and play it on your pick up truck horn or gtfo.

  • Send Texas to bed without its Executioner.
    that's the only punshment that will resonate. maybe something about HS football

  • memzilla

    All of the Rethuglican War on Wimmenz is based on one simple premise: Women have the Power of the P***y, and don't need anymore gol dang power, much less health care, because PotP.

    The conniptions that Rethuglicans put themselves through, the false arguments they advance, the red herrings they drag out, to deny this, would really be a lot more amusing if their policies weren't killing women.

    • V572 Flambé

      Power of the Potty? Mine's an equal opportunity commode.

      [Yes I know. Just couldn't resist.]

  • boobookitteh

    I can't wait to see how they spin it to make the President look bad for pulling tax dollars that funded contraception.

    It should be classic.

  • BarackMyWorld

    This is an infringement on the state's right to take federal money.

  • DetectiveGrey

    If you're ever down in Texas, knock me up.
    If you're ever down in Texas, knock me up.
    We don't get cash from Barry O-B,
    And none of our women's clinics are free,
    So if you're ever down in Texas, knock me up!

  • ttommyunger

    Alt text: " ….and the third reason is…………….is…………ooops!"

  • edgydrifter

    Rick Perry doesn't hate women, he just hates the competition.

  • Baconzgood

    Don't Fuck IN Texas


  • SorosBot

    I think I may be all out of snark now. There's just been so much of this vile, woman-hating, anti-sex, all-you-uteri-is-belong-to-us bullshit from the right these past few weeks that it's all used up I think. And each instance is even worst than the last. Fuck I feel like I need a drink already.

    • I feel ya, sb. I ran out of snark about 3 days ago. Needz more Walmart shopping lists.

  • proudgrampa

    "If you gonna play in Texas,
    You gotta have a fiddle in the band."

    I don't know what I mean by that, it's the only thing I can think of right now.

    God, I miss Ann Richards.

    • And, good golly miss, Molly Ivins, too, also.

      • proudgrampa


  • C_R_Eature

    Reverse Shocker Alt-Text FTW

    • MissTaken


      • C_R_Eature

        Texas-Sized, also. Mega Ouch.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Ha! Wonder if that was intentional or accidental. Either way, winning!

  • Blueb4sunrise

    ….crisis for Susan G. Komen for the Cure's Southern Arizona chapter.

    also. too, nobody gots enny munny.

    • Callyson

      I resent every reg fee and every minute I ever spent on the Races for the Cure that I did. Never again!

  • LesBontemps

    It's just poor wimmins, so that's okay then.

  • Snark aside, it's good to see the White House getting tough with Republicans.


    • Jerri

      No kidding! I love this hot, "Fine, then you don't get our federal money, you crazy fucksticks" action!

    • Callyson

      Here's hoping they make a habit of it.

    • NeonTrotsky

      I wish Obama would have the balls to withhold all federal money from these Red States full of assholes gnashing their teeth about SOCIALISMZ all the time. Quit redistributing my New York money to these idiots and let them fend for themselves without the socialismz.

      • And FEMA money from states that deny global warming. Cuz god can fix it.

    • MadBrahms

      Texas justice.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Conservatard theory is very clear on this point. If we the big goobermint out of the business of women's health care, the Church can step in and take over. for freedoms.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    She was kinda small, little you could say. But I like her Zebra Cakes.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    The hypocrisy of Texas Republitards is just amazing. Every life is sacred! Unless it's a wrongly accused brown person on death row.


    I've long since been convinced George Strait is gay. (no pun nor oxymoron intended)(well not exactly)

  • mrpuma2u

    No wimmins rights today, no wimmins rights ta-marrah, no wimmins right for-EVAH!!!!

  • Hooray, Federal Government, people only learn by suffering the consequences. Texans who are upset can vote their assholes out. Next problem?

  • It's time for women to take their country back. Back to 2009. Also, time for single men to speak up for Planned Parenthood — that is, if they want to get laid in style.

  • An_Outhouse

    I'm so sick of the black man keeping the brown womynz down.

  • sharethegrief

    Texas already has the 3rd highest rate of cervical cancer. No surprise that Perry can't do the math. No women's health clinics=more cervical, uterine and ovarian cancers=more poor women with cancer on Medicaid.
    Every bagger in government campaigned on less taxes and more jobs and all they've done is attack women. I'm getting dangerous again.

  • dadanarchist

    I, for one, think a Transvaginal Ultrasound should be required before women can vote.

  • under_score

    blame the White House "now" was soooo two weeks ago.

    Twisted logic is twisted. (not to mention wrong)

    "Why would the Obama Administration take away access to health care for low-income Texas women? Because this administration puts funding for abortion providers and affiliates ahead of funding for women's cancer screenings and other preventative health care. Texas, operating under the direction of an overwhelming and bipartisan majority of legislators, prohibits abortion providers and affiliates like Planned Parenthood from receiving taxpayer money."

  • Limeylizzie

    In the UK that sign he is flashing means "fuck off".

    • C_R_Eature

      Thank you. Wonketteers are such Founts of Knowledge! I think this will come in handy.

      I learn something new every time I stop by.

      • It is essential to increase one's repertoire of obscene hand gestures. Lifelong learning is good for the mind.

  • chicken_thief

    More like:

    ~ coke
    ~ booze
    ~ meet with "boyz" at Niggerhead

  • m Andrea

    Er. If failing to comply with a Federal law is all that is required for Republicans to complete their goal of eliminating Planned Parenthood, then this is the strategy that EVERY red state will implement.

    Instead, I would be checking who it is at the Federal level who is responsible for this decision. Because whoever it is, they are a republican. And instead of "cutting funding when states fail to comply with federal law", the more appropriate action would be for the Fed Gov to either cut ALL federal funding to the ENTIRE state, or for the Fed Gov to declare this type of state non-compliance to be unconstitutional.

  • HippieEsq

    When is it going ot be time to airlift all the good people of Syria to safety and freedom? Oh wait, I meant Austin (other than the gub-ner's man-chun, of course)

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    Ah, Texas and their abortion laws.

    “I don’t want to have to do this at all,” I told her. “I’m doing this to prevent my baby’s suffering. I don’t want another sonogram when I’ve already had two today. I don’t want to hear a description of the life I’m about to end. Please,” I said, “I can’t take any more pain.”

    “I’m so sorry that I have to do this,” the doctor told us, “but if I don’t, I can lose my license.” Before he could even start to describe our baby, I began to sob until I could barely breathe. Somewhere, a nurse cranked up the volume on a radio, allowing the inane pronouncements of a DJ to dull the doctor’s voice. Still, despite the noise, I heard him. His unwelcome words echoed off sterile walls while I, trapped on a bed, my feet in stirrups, twisted away from his voice.

    “Here I see a well-developed diaphragm and here I see four healthy chambers of the heart…”

    I closed my eyes and waited for it to end, as one waits for the car to stop rolling at the end of a terrible accident.

    When the description was finally over, the doctor held up a script and said he was legally obliged to read me information provided by the state. It was about the health dangers of having an abortion, the risks of infection or hemorrhage, the potential for infertility and my increased chance of getting breast cancer. I was reminded that medical benefits may be available for my maternity care and that the baby’s father was liable to provide support, whether he’d agreed to pay for the abortion or not.

    • C_R_Eature

      Fuck These People.

    • PuckStopsHere

      I wonder which boot that fukstick Perry is sticking up this poor couple's ass: "Freedom" or "Liberty"? Motherfucker who can't count to motherfucking three is telling other people how to live their lives. What a country.

  • sewollef

    I saw what you did there.

    But are you sure after the wimmin have left, what's left are just Aliens.

    Wait. Rick Perry, of course.

  • m Andrea

    If I could edit my previous comment a bit, I would. Anyway, a different point: Sometime after WWII Germany passed a law making it illegal for anyone in that country to defend Hitler and/or promote anti-semitism. Given that the War Against Women is accelerating in epic fashion, I don't see why we couldn't introduce a bill making it illegal to chip away at abortion/contraceptive freedom.

    As an example, the homophobe preacher spewing hatred at the funerals of dead soldiers was eventually legally required to stay so many feet away from the grave sites — there is no reason why the pro-slavery folks who surround abortion clinics should not be subjected to the same type of requirement, and for the same reasons. Make them stay a quarter mile away with their placards and billboards!

    As another example, those fake abortion clinics who only exist in order to spew pro-life propaganda, wouldn't be allowed to operate. Go on the offensive instead of always responding in a defensive manner AFTER they're already done the deed, and target the ways they circumvent the current law to their own ends. Their "religious freedom" and "free speech" rights ends at my right to bodily autonomy, safety, privacy, and to exist free of harassment.

    Sure they'll be outraged and develop all kinds of excuses. So what. Let them scramble to keep up, for a change. And don't back down from your position– which if you notice, is a strategy they use. They pick several talking points and hammer those for years, so eventually even the craziest of their demands seem worthy of genuine consideration and debate. Quit making excuses as to why progressives "can't do these things". That defeatist crap you repeat to each other is an EXCUSE!

  • MadBrahms

    SorosBot, when you ran out of snark, when there was only one set of footsteps on the beach, it was because actor was carrying you.

    Truly though, I always though that comedy was directly proportional to absurdity, but neglected to include abject horror as a variable.

  • owhatever

    Texas, they name is Arizona, divided by South Carolina.

  • MosesInvests

    Gov. Goodhair doesn't live in the Governor's Mansion-he lives in an expensive house in the hills.

  • Antispandex

    I've always thought that the quickest way to stop all of this "anti-government" posturing was to just tell these red state idiots that if they hate the goverment so bad, to prove it by refusing ALL federal funds…and do it in a Presidential debate (or SOTU address), so they can't run away from it.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Wha?? That is a terrible thing I did not know. Damn stereotypes. I swear.

  • lochnessmonster

    that is one big ring…Er is it brass knuckles?

  • GreatChristiano

    Yeah but why bother blaming O'bama when he will just blame someone else.

    Might as well just go directly to someone else…

  • Abernathy

    It's that Cee Lo and his women-hating ways, having a bad influence on Obama.

  • redarmyzombie

    Kinda like Greenland, y'know?

  • horsedreamer_1

    It's a tragic kingdom.

Previous articleMorning Invocation at Georgia Statehouse Denounces Gays, Liberals, ‘Urbans’
Next articleConfirmed: Ron Paul Is A Hobbit, Will Throw Power Ring Into Fire Mountain