meghalomania

Meghan McCain to Playboy: I’m ‘Strictly Dickly’

Angel is a centerfoldYou guys are gonna be sorry you ever said anything mean about Young Meg McCabe, for serious, because her new Playboy interview is out and she is basically the greatest political progeny ever. That’s right — even better than Amy Carter! Remember how you felt about Sarah Palin, when she was just Wonkette’s GILF and hadn’t yet peeled her face off to reveal the bizarro lizardoid replicant beneath? We really like you!This is basically like that, except Megs opens her mouth and says stuff, and we still love it! Megs McCabe is Wonkette’s new Republican girlfriend! We like you! We really like you! Five best answers to Playboy’s 20 Questions, after the jump!

PLAYBOY: Conservatives are as hard on you as liberals. Right-wing blogger Dan Riehl sniped that “this self-indulgent set of mega-breasts doesn’t belong anywhere near a TV studio commenting on anything.”

MCCAIN: Who says stuff like that? Some guys out there just can’t handle a woman with a strong opinion. And the quickest way to cut down a woman is to talk about her appearance. Do I care? No. Every guy I’ve ever dated and every boyfriend I’ve ever had—nobody ever complained about my body. And there are way more important things for me to do than obsess about my weight. We have an election going on, people!

***

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PLAYBOY: Do you have any tips for the offspring of campaigners on the election trail?

MCCAIN: Get sleep, be nice and shut up. I wasn’t always a peach to be around. I could have been nicer to the Secret Service and some staffers, and I voiced my opinion way too much. It’s really stressful, though. The day before Election Day, I almost overdosed on Xanax. I had gained a lot of weight. I went up four sizes thanks to Starbucks and Snickers. Obamamania was at its height. I ended up going to Sedona with my girlfriends. All we did was play Rock Band for days and days and eat and sleep and hang out in bed watching TV. I was done.

***

PLAYBOY: Say a little more about the hanging-out-in-bed-with-girlfriends part.

MCCAIN: Watch it, mister. My friends from home came over to support me, and we got in my parents’ big bed. They have this huge California king and we just stayed up eating ice cream. I’m not a lesbian, if that’s what you’re asking. I’d be the first person to tell the world I was gay. I’m not private about anything. I think you should live how you should live. But I’m strictly dickly. I can’t help it. I love sex and I love men.

***

PLAYBOY: So we shouldn’t read anything into your vocal support of same-sex marriage and the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” or how much you love Rachel Maddow and hang out with Tila Tequila?

MCCAIN: Honey, you’re nobody unless you have a gay rumor about you. I’ve been hit on by women from time to time, and it might simplify my life if I were gay, but no. Rachel and Tila are just great people. For me, it’s an issue of civil rights. Who people want to sleep with and who they want to love should not have anything to do with government politics at all. And if you see me in a gay bar, it’s only because they play the best music and my gay friends like to dance. Gay guys love me. It’s the big boobs and blonde hair.

***

PLAYBOY: Bristol Palin took shots at you and your mom in her memoir, saying, “I’ve never seen people with so much Louis Vuitton luggage, so many cell phones, and so many constant helpers to do hair and makeup.” What would you say if you bumped into her?

MCCAIN:
I did bump into her at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, actually. I saw her across the room. That girl biffed it fast, totally took off. All that stuff she wrote was a total lie. I have, like, one Louis Vuitton purse. She’s just young and confused and was thrust into all this. The media aren’t kind to her. But once someone signs up for Dancing With the Stars, it’s hard to sympathize.

Don’t worry, Megs also says some stupid stuff about having a hard-on for Chris Christie and how much greater the world would be with her dad as president, but c’mon, he’s her dad, cut her some slack. Besides, it’s going to be hard for her when Rush seizes her as Number Five Wife. So throw back a shot for Lil Megsy there and wish her well during her coming Unpleasantness. [Playboy]

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About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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251 comments

    1. el_donaldo

      I have a weakness for mega-boobs, myself. Actually, no, strike that. Mega-weakness for boobs.

    2. Spurning Beer

      Meghan has rich-girl stink. She's vapid. Her appeal (apart from the mams) is that she is less horrid than we are prepared for her to be.

      I know, I know, "Mee-yow."

    3. Fare la Volpe

      I could totally see the two of us getting trashed on Long Islands and having a blast.

      That said, I wish she would stop pretending that Republicans are somehow becoming all open-minded and hip, when in reality the party is making a bee-line back to the 1850s as fast as their squat little legs will carry them.

      1. anniegetyerfun

        YES. And it's not like she's unaware of what a curse the Palins have been upon our nation – it's amazing that she hasn't grabbed her father by the shoulders and shaken him until he wept, while screaming, “WHY DID YOU DO THIS??! WHY? WHY??????”

    4. fuflans

      me too.

      and anyone who poses in gypsy rose lee spangles with those boobs totally gets my 'preferred diva of the day' award.

  1. FNMA

    "When Rush seizes her as Number Five Wife."

    Little advice, Megs. Just close your eyes and it'll be over before you know it.

    1. Terry

      Women marry Rush for his money and fame. Megs gets her money and fame from her parents. She doesn't need to marry him. Her mother will probably end up finding her someone to marry.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        Exactly. This one could afford a half-dozen of Rush's boy-toys. She's got NO use for Rush.

      2. Isyaignert

        Maybe Megs can hook up with one of the Rmoney boys. Power families intermarrying to make more power, hahahaha – just like the Medieval times the 'cons are dragging us back to.

        1. Rotundo_

          Somehow I can't see Megs going Mormon: If she was getting something worthwhile in the exchange, perhaps, but Mommy money beats what Willard's spawn can throw down, and she won't have to eat jello and wear funny underwear.

  2. Huevos Ocupados

    "Gay guys love me. It’s the big boobs and blonde hair."

    Wow, I think she just outed me or something.

    1. SorosBot

      Oh I know some gay guys who are obsessed with large boobs; no it doesn't seem to make much sense, but there it is.

      1. MissTaken

        It's true. Each time I've gone to a gay bar a ton of guys want to dance with me. I think it's a novelty or something. Was even more true when I was a blond.

          1. actor212

            Have you NOT been paying attention!?

            Wait…we're gay.

            WAIT! We're gay and she'll show us her boobies cuz we're *safe*!

            I'm liking this whole "gay" thing!

        1. Fare la Volpe

          I've had the exact reverse, actually – once girls find out I'm gay, they want to tell me everything about their boobies, up to and including demonstrations of how they do breast exams.

          This one chick actually got half naked to change in front of me because, and I quote, "Eh, it's not like you care." Full disclosure: we were drunk off our gourds… But still!

          Seriously, if straight guys wanna clean up with the ladies, pretend to be gay and then miraculously change orientation "just for her." Putty in your hands, I tells ya.

          1. Extemporanus

            True story:

            My ex-girlfriend got fired on the spot from an inexplicably hoity-toity dirty little diner in the Marina after asking Kevin Spacey's seventeen-ish 7am breakfast companion whether he wanted cream.

            The sassy hand on the hip, devilish little wink, and fact that she omitted the words "in your coffee" we're apparently not appreciated by the sour sugar daddy who owned the joint.

          2. Extemporanus

            Dear Wonkette Letters,

            I never thought this would happen to me, but during my senior year in college, I met a super hot girl at the bank where we both worked. She was 5'1", with waist length curly red hair and a naturally pneumatic set of lightly freckled 32C Megs.

            She was utterly convinced that I was gay because my socks matched or I wore vintage spectators and braces or I emceed a weekly Tuesday night drag show or something. Lacking any real direction, excitement, or sex in my life, I decided to roll with it (in concept!) for awhile to see what happened, for "fun".

            Within two weeks, my subtle yet insistent efforts to get her to lay away the gay were jaw-droppingly successful, and I was finally "cured"! Like, a lot! JUST LIKE YOU SUGGESTED!

            Sadly, gum drop-nippled, vanilla ice cream-skinned, coo-coo-cute Heather booted my suddenly straight ass to the curb before the next episode of Friends hit the air. Oh, to be young, dumb, and full of pretend gay cum again!

            Sigh…

            *sob*

          3. FROTHY

            HAHAHA! Yes. I know.

            "Oh, hon, could you just hook this up for me? It's just us 'girls,' right?"

            Right, sweetie, lean a little closer. Mmm-hmm.

    2. Baconzgood

      I'm completely straight then. I never dated a blond. Never even bought one a drink at a bar.

          1. prommie

            We better be careful, next thing you know Goodhead will be getting mad at us for chatting like this is a social club, cliques are off-putting to the strangers who wander in, you know.

          2. actor212

            Now, hang on…we're on topic, talking about how some women, like Megan, attract gay men and strategies straight men can use to slip in

          3. SorosBot

            No we had sex; but you're forgetting modern hygiene standards; you can't tell if they match when there's no carpet.

          4. Steverino247

            I've found that eyebrow color usually matches what would have been there pretty well, so there's that "standard" to consider.

          5. FROTHY

            Not true. Lots of California blondes with fairly dark eyebrows and sunbleached blond hair — and you can tell the difference between the sunbleach and the bottle. Well, at least *I* can, and deity knows I'm not the most observant sod.

    3. Shellwith2Ls

      I can't speak for the blonde thing but gay guys do love big boobs. Actually, ALL guys love big boobs, it's just a surprise that gay guys are so into for big knockers.

        1. prommie

          Spoken by "the Continental" (Walken on SNL): "forgive me, if my eyes feast, on the sumptuous banquet of your decollatage."

      1. PhilippePetain

        Yeah, one of my gay friends actually told me "If guys would just have tits on their back, everything would be amazing."

        I nearly shot my entire beer through my nose.

  3. Cannolele

    That's the best pic I ever saw of Megan. Old Hef must have given her a bath. With his tongue.

    1. Huevos Ocupados

      There's one of her riding an elephant that's pretty good, but maybe just because I'm into that kind of thing.

      1. GOPCrusher

        I long for the good olde days when they were airbrushed by a true artist. Not electronically manipulated. Kind of impersonal, now.

  4. SorosBot

    Hey now, the only bad things I ever said about Megs are that she doesn't seem all that bright, and that given her opinions on personal liberties she really seems to be in the wrong party. But otherwise she seems nice; and cute, I totally would hit that if I were single.

      1. anniegetyerfun

        But do you have a dickly? Because she favors that strictly.

        (No idea what a dickly is.)

          1. GhostBuggy

            Does that make SorosBot a Powermaster, Targetmaster or Headmaster? (I'm assuming SorosBot will understand this dumb joke)

          2. GhostBuggy

            Weird. Almost as weird as the Transformers that are powered by kisses from girls, which I am not making up.

          3. Fare la Volpe

            Soros likes it when you stickly your dickly inside him, huh?

            Kinky~

            I guess from now on we can call you Peg.

      2. SorosBot

        And I would love to see that, with two giant pairs of – oh I think I need to take a break.

  5. hagajim

    Megs is strictly dickly…that pretty much rules out most Rethugs doesn't it? I can imagine a dickly fitting nicely between those big ol' …..

  6. neiltheblaze

    She seems like a good sport. I don't regret saying mean things or anything, but she's a good sport.

  7. Terry

    "Bristol Palin took shots at you and your mom in her memoir, saying, “I’ve never seen people with so much Louis Vuitton luggage, so many cell phones, and so many constant helpers to do hair and makeup.” What would you say if you bumped into her?"

    You know, I don't particularly like any of the McCains but….

    Cindy McCain runs a business. Sure, she inherited it from her father, but she actively runs it rather than just dropping by to sign things. She earns her money through hard work. Momma Palin, by contrast, is a frickin grifter.

    If Cindy wants to buy out a whole Louis Vuitton store, it's her money and her business.

  8. Baconzgood

    "And there are way more important things for me to do than obsess about my weight….. I had gained a lot of weight. I went up four sizes thanks to Starbucks and Snickers."

    GOP double speak much?

  9. Gopherit

    Tits McGee is a REAL journalist now….she's on MSNBC and she's done a stint in playboy, just like Edward R Murrow.

  10. Barb

    "Megs McCabe is Wonkette’s new Republican girlfriend!"
    Gosh Rebecca, I hope I still have dibs on being your Democrat Dame.

      1. Barb

        Extemporanus! I missed you the most! I won lots and lots of money. It was getting annoying to have to keep sticking those winning pay slips into the money machine thingy. Jeffer couldn't get his wallet to close up enough to fit back into his pants. He was the only other person their who had a bulge in the back of his pants, except for all those people on those annoying diabetes scooters. Peee-yeww!

        I ate at this one Irish restaurant that had beef on round pieces of bread and potatoes that they cut thinly and deep fried and and ice cream drink concoction that was the color of Creme de menthe and I think they had shamrocks in it or something. I wish they had something like that in New Mexico. That was one happy meal!

        I did knock over a cocktail on a slot machine. I alerted security and told them a black dude did it.

        Oh, and Home Depot had a convention there. I walked right up to one of the guys and asked if he was there to get "hammered" or "nailed" I think I gave him a stiffie.

        1. Extemporanus

          Hahaha! Oh, BAR BAR BAR (Jackpot!), you're much too kind.

          And by "much too kind", I of course mean "still totally drunk off yer ass".

          [OT: There's something that I keep meaning to ask you. Many moons ago, our Wonkette was home to a lightening quick quipster calling herself "Click" who had a knack for punishing puns. She split suddenly after some killjoy hounded her humourlessly in what had been a harmless holiday season thread. (I think...)

          Do you remember her? Better yet, are you her?!]

          1. Barb

            No, I am not that person. When I was a newbie here I said that cutsey word that I love, "cakey" and one of the members here replied, "speak much?" I LAUNCHED on their ass, announced that I am not taking shit off them and bolted for a while.

            I try to encourage new posters to speak up and join the conversation, seriously.

            I really did win a shitlode of money in Vegas. I made sure that I shared the joy with a homeless man who looked like he could use some human kindness. More than the donation I made sure that I made eye contact with him because that is so important. I have blue-green eyes and lashes that look like tarantula legs. I'm sure I made his day! Just kidding, I wasn't wearing makeup and he was in need of some human contact. I'll never forget the look in his eye when I looked in his. I'd make such a lousy Republican.

      1. Barb

        Rebecca, I arrived at the airport and was wearing a form fitting top and skinny jeans and they made me go through the X-ray machine and still had to pat me down. The bitch in front of me was wearing Gladiator sandals, silver-tipped chopsticks in her hair, chandelier earrings and kept her cell phone on her person and they let her go through without a hassle.

        While in Vegas, I saw a family with a double stroller with icky kids in it and 3 super annoying toddlers with kazoos and Red Bull in their sippy cups. I got sad and Jeff said he would buy me a new uterus to replace the one I had yanked last month. I'm can't wait to get back to the abortionplex!

  11. Hera Sent Me

    I got nothing sarcastic to say this time. I genuinely like Meagan McCain, and I think she's avoided the grow-up-to-be-an-asshole syndrome that affects so many progeny of the rich and famous. She's smart, funny, thoughtful and wise beyond her years. Plus she's a real looker, too.

    If I were twenty years younger and had her phone number so I could call and ask for a date, she'd be telling me to "get lost, loser" right now.

    1. MissTaken

      I agree. She's the only GOP person I can think of that I would actually enjoy hanging out with.

    2. LettucePrey

      I'm sure Megs is a nice girl, unspoiled and genuine and all that, but I'm sorry, she ain't smart. At all. Nor is she "wise beyond her years"; she's 27 and completely lacking in self-awareness. She's basically Courtney Stoddard in a grey blazer.

      1. Hera Sent Me

        I don't know how you arrived at your conclusions. I've seen her as a panelist on quite a few shows on MSNBC, and she seemed lucid and informed. I've also read some essays she wrote and found them thought-provoking.

        She's young, of course, and it shows. But at her age I was barely housebroken.

        And I still have the occasional accident.

  12. Sharkey

    It's great how they ask her about her boobs, and she replies that she doesn't care about her weight. TWO DIFFERENT THINGS, MEGGY.

        1. Extemporanus

          Thank you for being such a gentleman and holding it open for me.

          If I knew what kind of crazy-ass RSS feed app-fu Barb, NounVerb911, and a couple others obviously use, I wouldn't find myself pushing the comment mop on so many posts. (My iPad notification app thinks it's fucking hilarious to wait until the haha bukkake party's already well under way before giving me a goddamn heads-up.)

        1. Barb

          How many volts are the batteries? Oh I get it, you are implying that I use a rubber dork on myself. You might want to save your breath to blow up your date for later, Sporto.

    1. ph7

      True, but I suspect that having an unlimited trust fund does give one more license for gutsiness. Walkng a tightrope without a net is gutsy; walking a tightrope with the best net money can buy isn't quite the same.

  13. nonbeliever7

    Megs could donate half her boobage and 90% of her intelligence to Coulter and still be a more desirable human.

  14. Tundra Grifter

    I'm betting Playboy asked her to pose (with the election in November and all) and McCanns said "No, not while my parents are still alive" but one thing led to another and they offered her the 20 Questions gig instead.

    Personally, I got a kick out of "But once someone signs up for Dancing With the Stars, it’s hard to sympathize." That's some snarky stuff, right there!

  15. Goonemeritus

    Far be from me to set ground rules here at Wonkette for our new overlord but it must be said we have a long standing Crush on Megs.

  16. Callyson

    Speaking of boobs, has she made a statement about the big brouhaha about birth control? Because if she dares to stray from the dittoheads, "Meghan McCain is a RINO slut" in 3…2…1…

  17. UnholyMoses

    Guess she's done fairly well considering what she's been exposed to through her life: rich, trophy mom; a dad who's called a Heroey Maverick, despite Keating and being as good at flying as the post-1990 Royals are at winning baseball games; all the GOP guests who came over and polluted the house with Massive Stupid (which smells a bit like burning plastic and cheap bbq sauce; only getting attention because of BOOBIES!

    It's gotta be hard.

    Her life. That's what's hard.

    I mean, not the only thing, but …

    … oh, neverfuckingmind …

  18. Lascauxcaveman

    Bristol Palin took shots at you and your mom in her memoir, saying, “I’ve never seen people with so much Louis Vuitton luggage, so many cell phones, and so many constant helpers to do hair and makeup.”

    ???? !!!! "Took Shots?"

    More like "expressed jealous admiration."

  19. Tundra Grifter

    It just doesn't seem that long ago (2008, actually) when she was talking about potential boyfriends who only wanted to talk about her Mom.

  20. SayItWithWookies

    I'm sure Meghan's a fine person, for an overprivileged, entitled, filthy rich princess who think's she's the center of the universe. It's just her pre-adolescent political and social opinions that really annoy me.

    1. LiveToServeYa

      Exactly. A lot of young women without her name and money could do much better. 'She turned out well considering' is really stupid.

    2. DarwinianDemon

      Thank you. It annoyed me to no end when she would go on talk show after talk show espousing Republican economic theory but when she goes on Maddow and Maddow confronts her about it all of a sudden it's "tee hee, I don't know anything about economics"

      1. GOPCrusher

        Well, it's better than Liz Cheney and her "I'm a foreign policy expert because Dad got me a jerb at the State Department" attitude.

  21. The_Trainman

    Nope, not gushing over this one just because she doesn't come off as insane. That is really all she's got going for herself. Beyond her self confidence and a few reality-based opinions on homophobia and sexism lies a swap of backward, right-wing ideas just waiting to germinate into a political campaign. Sorry, Christie/McCain 20XX is just gonna have to wait till after the apocalypse.

  22. UnholyMoses

    BTW — My work has decided to block this site because, per Web(non)Sense the site is labeled as "Entertainment."

    Because the last thing workers should be is entertained.

    But, whatev — it's their Intrawebs while I'm there, I guess.

    Been nice hanging out here, hope to visit whilst working at home (ala today), maybe on the weekend, etc. etc. etc.

    Also, too: I haz the most sad because WebSense didn't label this place PR0Nish. Or LEFTYSOCIALISTCOMMIEHIPPIE.

    So step up the skullfucking. FOR FREEDUMB!

      1. UnholyMoses

        I would, but I ran out of Magic cards, and The Boy really likes my old Star Wars action figures, so …

  23. carlgt1

    well I have to give her credit for "strictly dickly" – that's pretty funny. I hope she can avoid being a "Stepford Wife" someday….

    1. proudgrampa

      I was in my teens when I told my Mom that I only read Playboy for the articles. She bought it hook, line, and sinker.

      I love my Mom.

  24. Tundra Grifter

    I sure hope she told her Dad about this, because if he just hears "Hey – Your daughter is in Playboy!" it's going to mean The Big One.

    "I's comin', 'Lisbeth!"

  25. OneYieldRegular

    My girlfriends and I just sat around for days in my parents' big bed in one of our nine homes playing Rock Band and watching TV and snacking and popping Xanax while everyone else in my political party was out forcing women to have transvaginal ultrasounds and denying everyone health insurance and doing whatever big business tells them to do and baiting the President because of his skin color and supporting legislation to allow bullying of the gay people who just adore me.

    Ugh.

  26. LiveToServeYa

    STOP THINKING WITH YOUR BALLS, YOU PEOPLE. Oh, wait, this is Wonkette. Carry on, then.

  27. proudgrampa

    I, for one, welcome Meghan's candor. I think she's pretty HAWT.

    Nice casabas, too.

    If she would just keep her opinions to herself…

  28. GOPCrusher

    I have to imagine that this will set off Bible Spice and she will be forced to step up her game and demand that her, Bristol, or both get a full-blown pictorial in retaliation for Megs besmirching of the good name of Palin.

  29. Eve8Apples

    "But I’m strictly dickly. I can’t help it. I love sex and I love men."

    She sounds like a Limbaugh slut — I mean prostitute — No I mean tramp — Wait a minute, I mean whore — no that's not right, what's the word I'm looking for? Tart? Huzzy? Horny bitch? Cow in heat? Rush's wretch? Oh, let's go with that, she's Rush's kind of wretch.

    1. GOPCrusher

      Yeah, but she probably has Mummy or Daddy pay for her birth control, so that's different.

  30. Guppy

    "And there are way more important things for me to do than obsess about my weight."

    "I had gained a lot of weight. I went up four sizes thanks to Starbucks and Snickers."

    You've come a long way, baby!

  31. Chet Kincaid

    Did they ask her what she's doing in Playboy while her brothers are off risking their lives serving the country? Because whatever it is she's trying to do in public seems kind of worthless by comparison. Get those boobs into a sailor's uniform!!

    1. GOPCrusher

      I would be careful, messing with Debbie Wasserman-Schultz. She strikes me as the type that would snap off one of your limbs and bludgeon you to death with it.
      WITH VOTES!

  32. Steverino247

    I'd hit that so hard, whoever pulled me off would be the rightful King of England.

    (And of course, that's not original, but damned funny)

  33. Toomush_Infer

    The problem is, we're so damned thirsty for someone on the right not to spout jibberish or make racial namecalling their stock in trade, that Babs sounds like our pretend girlfriend…she's…well….ok….BUT GREAT TITS….(oops)…

  34. ElPinche

    Just as long as she keeps her "can't pick a lane, GOP or liberal"-indecisiveness in politics and not en la cama. "What ?! No buttsekks, but you're begging me to lick your culo? Just think of my verga as a very very very large tongue. "

  35. thefrontpage

    Playboy didn't bother asking about the famous CPAC orgy at the Wardman Park Hotel a couple of years ago, when MCCain, Coulter, Malkin, Bachman, Sarah AND Bristol Palin and Chrisy McConnell all took Prozac, got naked, and wrestled in crushed Cheetos powder. About 30 CPAC attendees, men and women, joined in. It was crazy! There might have been some alcohol involved. But it was a wild party!

  36. GreatChristiano

    She may be "strictly dickly," but is she tickly?

    I usually "totally take off" when I "biff it fast" as well!

  37. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I can't believe I was so buzy at work today that I am just now seeing those, I mean this, I mean the article. Dammit!

  38. HolyCow!!

    Anyone who uses the phrase "strickly dickly" immediately gets written off as an imbecile.

  39. DeLand_DeLakes

    "Strickly dickly." Uh, Megs, I think I'll get over it somehow. If I want a girl who's big on boobs and short on brains who's looking to "experiment", I can pick up a baker's dozen of them stumbling along Frat Row on Friday night.

  40. DocChaos

    So if the Playboy photographers/airbrushers can make MM look that good, does that mean I spent my adolescence fapping to foldouts of merely average looking girls with big hooters, and not the stunning goddesses I imagined?

  41. FROTHY

    I'd do her in a hot NY minute.

    Wut? I like big boobs and I like wimminz wit some actual real FLESH on 'em. OK, so I'd duct tape her mouf first, but who can listen to that vapid wahwah anywho?

  42. DahBoner

    "I went up four sizes because of Starbuck and Snickers "

    The names of two porno stars who cummed gallons of jizz down her throat?

    I hear that can be fattening…

  43. elburritodeluxe

    "Once someone signs up for Dancing With the Stars, it’s hard to sympathize."

    Ladies and gentlemen, the money quote.

  44. Nesnora

    A busty, blonde, slutty-rich-girl posing in Playboy… how 2012 of her!

    Santorum is going to pray really fucking raw for her.

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