MEGHALOMANIA  3:01 pm March 15, 2012

Meghan McCain to Playboy: I’m ‘Strictly Dickly’

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Angel is a centerfoldYou guys are gonna be sorry you ever said anything mean about Young Meg McCabe, for serious, because her new Playboy interview is out and she is basically the greatest political progeny ever. That’s right — even better than Amy Carter! Remember how you felt about Sarah Palin, when she was just Wonkette’s GILF and hadn’t yet peeled her face off to reveal the bizarro lizardoid replicant beneath? We really like you!This is basically like that, except Megs opens her mouth and says stuff, and we still love it! Megs McCabe is Wonkette’s new Republican girlfriend! We like you! We really like you! Five best answers to Playboy’s 20 Questions, after the jump!

PLAYBOY: Conservatives are as hard on you as liberals. Right-wing blogger Dan Riehl sniped that “this self-indulgent set of mega-breasts doesn’t belong anywhere near a TV studio commenting on anything.”

MCCAIN: Who says stuff like that? Some guys out there just can’t handle a woman with a strong opinion. And the quickest way to cut down a woman is to talk about her appearance. Do I care? No. Every guy I’ve ever dated and every boyfriend I’ve ever had—nobody ever complained about my body. And there are way more important things for me to do than obsess about my weight. We have an election going on, people!

***

PLAYBOY: Do you have any tips for the offspring of campaigners on the election trail?

MCCAIN: Get sleep, be nice and shut up. I wasn’t always a peach to be around. I could have been nicer to the Secret Service and some staffers, and I voiced my opinion way too much. It’s really stressful, though. The day before Election Day, I almost overdosed on Xanax. I had gained a lot of weight. I went up four sizes thanks to Starbucks and Snickers. Obamamania was at its height. I ended up going to Sedona with my girlfriends. All we did was play Rock Band for days and days and eat and sleep and hang out in bed watching TV. I was done.

***

PLAYBOY: Say a little more about the hanging-out-in-bed-with-girlfriends part.

MCCAIN: Watch it, mister. My friends from home came over to support me, and we got in my parents’ big bed. They have this huge California king and we just stayed up eating ice cream. I’m not a lesbian, if that’s what you’re asking. I’d be the first person to tell the world I was gay. I’m not private about anything. I think you should live how you should live. But I’m strictly dickly. I can’t help it. I love sex and I love men.

***

PLAYBOY: So we shouldn’t read anything into your vocal support of same-sex marriage and the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” or how much you love Rachel Maddow and hang out with Tila Tequila?

MCCAIN: Honey, you’re nobody unless you have a gay rumor about you. I’ve been hit on by women from time to time, and it might simplify my life if I were gay, but no. Rachel and Tila are just great people. For me, it’s an issue of civil rights. Who people want to sleep with and who they want to love should not have anything to do with government politics at all. And if you see me in a gay bar, it’s only because they play the best music and my gay friends like to dance. Gay guys love me. It’s the big boobs and blonde hair.

***

PLAYBOY: Bristol Palin took shots at you and your mom in her memoir, saying, “I’ve never seen people with so much Louis Vuitton luggage, so many cell phones, and so many constant helpers to do hair and makeup.” What would you say if you bumped into her?

MCCAIN:
I did bump into her at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, actually. I saw her across the room. That girl biffed it fast, totally took off. All that stuff she wrote was a total lie. I have, like, one Louis Vuitton purse. She’s just young and confused and was thrust into all this. The media aren’t kind to her. But once someone signs up for Dancing With the Stars, it’s hard to sympathize.

Don’t worry, Megs also says some stupid stuff about having a hard-on for Chris Christie and how much greater the world would be with her dad as president, but c’mon, he’s her dad, cut her some slack. Besides, it’s going to be hard for her when Rush seizes her as Number Five Wife. So throw back a shot for Lil Megsy there and wish her well during her coming Unpleasantness. [Playboy]

 
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{ 251 comments }

Extemporanus March 15, 2012 at 3:04 pm

I only read Meghan for the participles.

FAP FAP and FAPingly.

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:13 pm

The dangling particples. The full, dangling particples.

Extemporanus March 15, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I like tying up words and phrases and clauses…

(Sooo messy!)

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Oh, please, I'd like to leave her clauses free for the scratching down the back and up the thighs…

Not_So_Much March 15, 2012 at 3:05 pm

So, no boobz?

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:13 pm

YEA!

Tits or GTFO, Megsy!

anniegetyerfun March 15, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I still sort of like her. I can't help it.

Not_So_Much March 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm

I know. She fumbles on live tv, but she's still a kid. I gotta give her props.

commiegirl March 15, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I don't like her. After this article I LOVE HER. Not even kidding at all! Team Megs!

el_donaldo March 15, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I have a weakness for mega-boobs, myself. Actually, no, strike that. Mega-weakness for boobs.

FROTHY March 16, 2012 at 4:35 am

Mmmm, boobs. Preferably with warm chocolate dressing and fresh raspberries … uh, BRB.

Spurning Beer March 15, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Meghan has rich-girl stink. She's vapid. Her appeal (apart from the mams) is that she is less horrid than we are prepared for her to be.

I know, I know, "Mee-yow."

Fare la Volpe March 15, 2012 at 4:02 pm

I could totally see the two of us getting trashed on Long Islands and having a blast.

That said, I wish she would stop pretending that Republicans are somehow becoming all open-minded and hip, when in reality the party is making a bee-line back to the 1850s as fast as their squat little legs will carry them.

anniegetyerfun March 15, 2012 at 4:05 pm

YES. And it's not like she's unaware of what a curse the Palins have been upon our nation – it's amazing that she hasn't grabbed her father by the shoulders and shaken him until he wept, while screaming, “WHY DID YOU DO THIS??! WHY? WHY??????”

Preferred Customer March 15, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Is this where I should insert my big tent joke?

CapnFatback March 15, 2012 at 5:35 pm

If it's that big a tent, then it's no joke.

Barrelhse March 15, 2012 at 4:37 pm

She just needs to mature out of her conservative politics and she'll be fine.

fuflans March 15, 2012 at 5:50 pm

me too.

and anyone who poses in gypsy rose lee spangles with those boobs totally gets my 'preferred diva of the day' award.

Nesnora March 20, 2012 at 10:38 am

Hope you like her a lot— she'll probably be running for President in 20 years…

FNMA March 15, 2012 at 3:06 pm

"When Rush seizes her as Number Five Wife."

Little advice, Megs. Just close your eyes and it'll be over before you know it.

Terry March 15, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Women marry Rush for his money and fame. Megs gets her money and fame from her parents. She doesn't need to marry him. Her mother will probably end up finding her someone to marry.

Lascauxcaveman March 15, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Exactly. This one could afford a half-dozen of Rush's boy-toys. She's got NO use for Rush.

Darthhippy March 15, 2012 at 4:02 pm

But does she have use for a hippy :D?

FROTHY March 16, 2012 at 4:37 am

I dunno, but I'm willing to be her experimental hippie.

Isyaignert March 15, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Maybe Megs can hook up with one of the Rmoney boys. Power families intermarrying to make more power, hahahaha – just like the Medieval times the 'cons are dragging us back to.

Rotundo_ March 15, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Somehow I can't see Megs going Mormon: If she was getting something worthwhile in the exchange, perhaps, but Mommy money beats what Willard's spawn can throw down, and she won't have to eat jello and wear funny underwear.

WiscDad March 15, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Damn…you go (down) girl

Huevos Ocupados March 15, 2012 at 3:07 pm

"Gay guys love me. It’s the big boobs and blonde hair."

Wow, I think she just outed me or something.

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I guess I'm now gay.

prommie March 15, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Yeah, me too; I can't believe I never even suspected, all these years.

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Right?

Is there some kind of owner's manual or handbook? I'd like to read up on my new lifestyle choice.

Baconzgood March 15, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I can't be gay. I'm not neat and don't have expendable income.

SorosBot March 15, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Oh I know some gay guys who are obsessed with large boobs; no it doesn't seem to make much sense, but there it is.

MissTaken March 15, 2012 at 3:39 pm

It's true. Each time I've gone to a gay bar a ton of guys want to dance with me. I think it's a novelty or something. Was even more true when I was a blond.

prommie March 15, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Wait a minute, you telling me you have big boobs?

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Have you NOT been paying attention!?

Wait…we're gay.

WAIT! We're gay and she'll show us her boobies cuz we're *safe*!

I'm liking this whole "gay" thing!

Fare la Volpe March 15, 2012 at 3:53 pm

I've had the exact reverse, actually – once girls find out I'm gay, they want to tell me everything about their boobies, up to and including demonstrations of how they do breast exams.

This one chick actually got half naked to change in front of me because, and I quote, "Eh, it's not like you care." Full disclosure: we were drunk off our gourds… But still!

Seriously, if straight guys wanna clean up with the ladies, pretend to be gay and then miraculously change orientation "just for her." Putty in your hands, I tells ya.

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm

*rubbing hands together*

Ohboy! This "being gay" thing is going to be GREAT!

GOPCrusher March 15, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Thanks for the tip. At my age, I'll try anything.

Pop_Socket March 15, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Easy A already outed this strategy.

Chet Kincaid March 15, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Isn't that how Kevin Spacey dealt with the gay rumors — by letting hot chicks think they could "convert" him?

Extemporanus March 15, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Dear Wonkette Letters,

I never thought this would happen to me, but during my senior year in college, I met a super hot girl at the bank where we both worked. She was 5'1", with waist length curly red hair and a naturally pneumatic set of lightly freckled 32C Megs.

She was utterly convinced that I was gay because my socks matched or I wore vintage spectators and braces or I emceed a weekly Tuesday night drag show or something. Lacking any real direction, excitement, or sex in my life, I decided to roll with it (in concept!) for awhile to see what happened, for "fun".

Within two weeks, my subtle yet insistent efforts to get her to lay away the gay were jaw-droppingly successful, and I was finally "cured"! Like, a lot! JUST LIKE YOU SUGGESTED!

Sadly, gum drop-nippled, vanilla ice cream-skinned, coo-coo-cute Heather booted my suddenly straight ass to the curb before the next episode of Friends hit the air. Oh, to be young, dumb, and full of pretend gay cum again!

Sigh…

*sob*

FROTHY March 16, 2012 at 4:41 am

HAHAHA! Yes. I know.

"Oh, hon, could you just hook this up for me? It's just us 'girls,' right?"

Right, sweetie, lean a little closer. Mmm-hmm.

Limeylizzie March 15, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Darling between us we must have about 90 inches of bosom.

Boojum_Reborn March 15, 2012 at 6:57 pm

If that's between you and Megs, that makes you, what, a 32A?

Baconzgood March 15, 2012 at 3:23 pm

I'm completely straight then. I never dated a blond. Never even bought one a drink at a bar.

anniegetyerfun March 15, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Same here! I just don't trust them Nordic types.

UnholyMoses March 15, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Redheads or GTFO.

But that's just me …

SorosBot March 15, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I dated one blonde – but she had dark roots. Definitely prefer brunettes though.

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:43 pm

So now we know you never had sex with her, else you would have said "Drapes didn't match the carpeting"

prommie March 15, 2012 at 3:51 pm

We better be careful, next thing you know Goodhead will be getting mad at us for chatting like this is a social club, cliques are off-putting to the strangers who wander in, you know.

SorosBot March 15, 2012 at 3:54 pm

No we had sex; but you're forgetting modern hygiene standards; you can't tell if they match when there's no carpet.

Exhausted66 March 15, 2012 at 6:36 pm

dark roots?

THASSS RAYCESS!

Shellwith2Ls March 15, 2012 at 4:09 pm

I can't speak for the blonde thing but gay guys do love big boobs. Actually, ALL guys love big boobs, it's just a surprise that gay guys are so into for big knockers.

prommie March 15, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Boobs and blowjobs, they are just the two happiest things on earth!

Fare la Volpe March 15, 2012 at 4:24 pm

It's because when you smoosh 'em together they resemble a butt.

prommie March 15, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Spoken by "the Continental" (Walken on SNL): "forgive me, if my eyes feast, on the sumptuous banquet of your decollatage."

PhilippePetain March 15, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Yeah, one of my gay friends actually told me "If guys would just have tits on their back, everything would be amazing."

I nearly shot my entire beer through my nose.

Cannolele March 15, 2012 at 3:08 pm

That's the best pic I ever saw of Megan. Old Hef must have given her a bath. With his tongue.

Huevos Ocupados March 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm

There's one of her riding an elephant that's pretty good, but maybe just because I'm into that kind of thing.

Cannolele March 15, 2012 at 3:18 pm
Spurning Beer March 15, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Dirty Sexy Tits

Chet Kincaid March 15, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Megs has been licked all over with Photoshop's Tongue tool!!

Tommy1733 March 15, 2012 at 5:02 pm

OK, we did not need to have to think about that image, Cannolele

Baconzgood March 15, 2012 at 3:08 pm

I only buy Playboy for the naked chicks.

Chillatte March 15, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I buy playboy to learn about Photoshop.

GOPCrusher March 15, 2012 at 3:21 pm

I long for the good olde days when they were airbrushed by a true artist. Not electronically manipulated. Kind of impersonal, now.

Baconzgood March 15, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Meh. After a week the pages stick together the same.

GOPCrusher March 15, 2012 at 4:00 pm

True.

SorosBot March 15, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Hey now, the only bad things I ever said about Megs are that she doesn't seem all that bright, and that given her opinions on personal liberties she really seems to be in the wrong party. But otherwise she seems nice; and cute, I totally would hit that if I were single.

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Oh, Soros, WE would never tell!…..

MissTaken March 15, 2012 at 3:21 pm

It's okay, I'd hit it, too. Single or not.

anniegetyerfun March 15, 2012 at 3:25 pm

But do you have a dickly? Because she favors that strictly.

(No idea what a dickly is.)

MissTaken March 15, 2012 at 3:27 pm

My dickly is attached to SorosBot. Does that count?

anniegetyerfun March 15, 2012 at 3:30 pm

It's good enough for me! But I'm not strictly anything, other than perverted.

GhostBuggy March 15, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Does that make SorosBot a Powermaster, Targetmaster or Headmaster? (I'm assuming SorosBot will understand this dumb joke)

Fare la Volpe March 15, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Soros likes it when you stickly your dickly inside him, huh?

Kinky~

I guess from now on we can call you Peg.

SorosBot March 15, 2012 at 3:31 pm

And I would love to see that, with two giant pairs of – oh I think I need to take a break.

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Rilly, BowchickaWOWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck Toad March 16, 2012 at 11:25 am

Sympathy FAP for you.

Pop_Socket March 15, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Under the new regime is "I'd hit that." bannable? Because I'd hit that like Canseco on 'roids.

Chillatte March 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm

I still find this difficult to masturbate to.

hagajim March 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Megs is strictly dickly…that pretty much rules out most Rethugs doesn't it? I can imagine a dickly fitting nicely between those big ol' …..

FROTHY March 16, 2012 at 4:50 am

funbags. They're known as funbags.

Or dirtypillows, depending on your religion or lack thereof.

Baconzgood March 15, 2012 at 3:10 pm

She's got the same look on her face as Abused Kitty Cat on the right.

Barrelhse March 15, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Maybe we could change it for the Kortney look?

neiltheblaze March 15, 2012 at 3:12 pm

She seems like a good sport. I don't regret saying mean things or anything, but she's a good sport.

NorthStarSpanx March 16, 2012 at 9:32 am

I'd like to see Bristol try and identify, spell or pronounce Louis Vuitton. . .

Terry March 15, 2012 at 3:12 pm

"Bristol Palin took shots at you and your mom in her memoir, saying, “I’ve never seen people with so much Louis Vuitton luggage, so many cell phones, and so many constant helpers to do hair and makeup.” What would you say if you bumped into her?"

You know, I don't particularly like any of the McCains but….

Cindy McCain runs a business. Sure, she inherited it from her father, but she actively runs it rather than just dropping by to sign things. She earns her money through hard work. Momma Palin, by contrast, is a frickin grifter.

If Cindy wants to buy out a whole Louis Vuitton store, it's her money and her business.

Huevos Ocupados March 15, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Plus she's into opioids. I seem to like that in a woman.

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Becky and Megan sitting in a tree
K I S S I N G
I charge admission, make a million bucks
And sell the sex tape to CNN…G

Baconzgood March 15, 2012 at 3:14 pm

"And there are way more important things for me to do than obsess about my weight….. I had gained a lot of weight. I went up four sizes thanks to Starbucks and Snickers."

GOP double speak much?

Chillatte March 15, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I wonder if Hef said "show us your tits!"

Barrelhse March 15, 2012 at 4:44 pm

He usually says:"Tits or GTFO!"

NorthStarSpanx March 16, 2012 at 9:33 am

She probably did flash them around, and they passed.

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I dunno. She looks so hot in that picture, I almost wish I had two dicks to masturbate with.

widestanceromance March 15, 2012 at 3:24 pm

OK, you ARE gay.

GuyClinch March 15, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Take mine. I'm not using it. /sigh/

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 4:10 pm

You don't mind?

I play kinda rough.

bumfug March 15, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Yeah, Dan Riehl, she's got a lotta nerve having those titties!

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:19 pm

In fairness to Riehl, he has a lot of titties having his nerve.

SorosBot March 15, 2012 at 3:22 pm

He does seem rather intimidated by that "set of mega-breasts", doesn't he?

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Well, you know what they say about eating anything bigger than your head…

Gopherit March 15, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Tits McGee is a REAL journalist now….she's on MSNBC and she's done a stint in playboy, just like Edward R Murrow.

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:17 pm

I'll never forget his bareback spread on the tigerskin rug.

MeeeeOW!

DarwinianDemon March 15, 2012 at 4:30 pm

The real story was his surprising list of turn ons

metamarcisf March 15, 2012 at 3:16 pm

"The day before Election Day, I almost overdosed on Xanax." – that makes two of us.

prommie March 15, 2012 at 3:17 pm

I'm in love, with those, those, those bodacious ta-tas!

BloviateMe March 15, 2012 at 3:18 pm

What a delightful coinky-dink…I happen to be dickly, Megs…

Beowoof March 15, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I love the curvy girls and Meaghan fits that description perfectly.

Barb March 15, 2012 at 3:19 pm

"Megs McCabe is Wonkette’s new Republican girlfriend!"
Gosh Rebecca, I hope I still have dibs on being your Democrat Dame.

Extemporanus March 15, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Welcome back, Bar!

Get lucky with any hot slutty slots?

Barb March 15, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Extemporanus! I missed you the most! I won lots and lots of money. It was getting annoying to have to keep sticking those winning pay slips into the money machine thingy. Jeffer couldn't get his wallet to close up enough to fit back into his pants. He was the only other person their who had a bulge in the back of his pants, except for all those people on those annoying diabetes scooters. Peee-yeww!

I ate at this one Irish restaurant that had beef on round pieces of bread and potatoes that they cut thinly and deep fried and and ice cream drink concoction that was the color of Creme de menthe and I think they had shamrocks in it or something. I wish they had something like that in New Mexico. That was one happy meal!

I did knock over a cocktail on a slot machine. I alerted security and told them a black dude did it.

Oh, and Home Depot had a convention there. I walked right up to one of the guys and asked if he was there to get "hammered" or "nailed" I think I gave him a stiffie.

Extemporanus March 15, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Hahaha! Oh, BAR BAR BAR (Jackpot!), you're much too kind.

And by "much too kind", I of course mean "still totally drunk off yer ass".

[OT: There's something that I keep meaning to ask you. Many moons ago, our Wonkette was home to a lightening quick quipster calling herself "Click" who had a knack for punishing puns. She split suddenly after some killjoy hounded her humourlessly in what had been a harmless holiday season thread. (I think...)

Do you remember her? Better yet, are you her?!]

Barb March 15, 2012 at 10:25 pm

No, I am not that person. When I was a newbie here I said that cutsey word that I love, "cakey" and one of the members here replied, "speak much?" I LAUNCHED on their ass, announced that I am not taking shit off them and bolted for a while.

I try to encourage new posters to speak up and join the conversation, seriously.

I really did win a shitlode of money in Vegas. I made sure that I shared the joy with a homeless man who looked like he could use some human kindness. More than the donation I made sure that I made eye contact with him because that is so important. I have blue-green eyes and lashes that look like tarantula legs. I'm sure I made his day! Just kidding, I wasn't wearing makeup and he was in need of some human contact. I'll never forget the look in his eye when I looked in his. I'd make such a lousy Republican.

commiegirl March 15, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Barb, you've come home to us! Hooray!

Barb March 15, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Rebecca, I arrived at the airport and was wearing a form fitting top and skinny jeans and they made me go through the X-ray machine and still had to pat me down. The bitch in front of me was wearing Gladiator sandals, silver-tipped chopsticks in her hair, chandelier earrings and kept her cell phone on her person and they let her go through without a hassle.

While in Vegas, I saw a family with a double stroller with icky kids in it and 3 super annoying toddlers with kazoos and Red Bull in their sippy cups. I got sad and Jeff said he would buy me a new uterus to replace the one I had yanked last month. I'm can't wait to get back to the abortionplex!

Hera Sent Me March 15, 2012 at 3:21 pm

I got nothing sarcastic to say this time. I genuinely like Meagan McCain, and I think she's avoided the grow-up-to-be-an-asshole syndrome that affects so many progeny of the rich and famous. She's smart, funny, thoughtful and wise beyond her years. Plus she's a real looker, too.

If I were twenty years younger and had her phone number so I could call and ask for a date, she'd be telling me to "get lost, loser" right now.

MissTaken March 15, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I agree. She's the only GOP person I can think of that I would actually enjoy hanging out with.

LettucePrey March 15, 2012 at 6:45 pm

I'm sure Megs is a nice girl, unspoiled and genuine and all that, but I'm sorry, she ain't smart. At all. Nor is she "wise beyond her years"; she's 27 and completely lacking in self-awareness. She's basically Courtney Stoddard in a grey blazer.

Hera Sent Me March 16, 2012 at 3:08 pm

I don't know how you arrived at your conclusions. I've seen her as a panelist on quite a few shows on MSNBC, and she seemed lucid and informed. I've also read some essays she wrote and found them thought-provoking.

She's young, of course, and it shows. But at her age I was barely housebroken.

And I still have the occasional accident.

Sharkey March 15, 2012 at 3:21 pm

It's great how they ask her about her boobs, and she replies that she doesn't care about her weight. TWO DIFFERENT THINGS, MEGGY.

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Hey, where you been? We tried saving the first post in each thread, but you never showed up!

Extemporanus March 15, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Speak for yourself, pokey.

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Oh, I watched you come in the door behind me, no worries…

Extemporanus March 15, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Thank you for being such a gentleman and holding it open for me.

If I knew what kind of crazy-ass RSS feed app-fu Barb, NounVerb911, and a couple others obviously use, I wouldn't find myself pushing the comment mop on so many posts. (My iPad notification app thinks it's fucking hilarious to wait until the haha bukkake party's already well under way before giving me a goddamn heads-up.)

Barb March 15, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I was on vacation with Mr Yum Yum.

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 4:00 pm

How many volts are the batteries?

Barb March 15, 2012 at 4:12 pm

How many volts are the batteries? Oh I get it, you are implying that I use a rubber dork on myself. You might want to save your breath to blow up your date for later, Sporto.

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Floor pump!

Fuck Toad March 16, 2012 at 11:29 am

Oh snap!

Maman March 15, 2012 at 3:23 pm

I have always liked her, but OMFG I want my girls to be as gutsy like her (though not Republican, please)

ph7 March 15, 2012 at 3:32 pm

True, but I suspect that having an unlimited trust fund does give one more license for gutsiness. Walkng a tightrope without a net is gutsy; walking a tightrope with the best net money can buy isn't quite the same.

Barrelhse March 15, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Zut alors, Maman!

nonbeliever7 March 15, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Megs could donate half her boobage and 90% of her intelligence to Coulter and still be a more desirable human.

Baconzgood March 15, 2012 at 3:24 pm

I don't find this difficult to masterbate to.

Tundra Grifter March 15, 2012 at 3:25 pm

I'm betting Playboy asked her to pose (with the election in November and all) and McCanns said "No, not while my parents are still alive" but one thing led to another and they offered her the 20 Questions gig instead.

Personally, I got a kick out of "But once someone signs up for Dancing With the Stars, it’s hard to sympathize." That's some snarky stuff, right there!

Goonemeritus March 15, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Far be from me to set ground rules here at Wonkette for our new overlord but it must be said we have a long standing Crush on Megs.

Barrelhse March 15, 2012 at 4:49 pm

I'm a legs and ass guy, myself.

Callyson March 15, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Speaking of boobs, has she made a statement about the big brouhaha about birth control? Because if she dares to stray from the dittoheads, "Meghan McCain is a RINO slut" in 3…2…1…

Blueb4sunrise March 15, 2012 at 3:33 pm

You can bet on that .
Actually, I think they did that a while ago.

UnholyMoses March 15, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Guess she's done fairly well considering what she's been exposed to through her life: rich, trophy mom; a dad who's called a Heroey Maverick, despite Keating and being as good at flying as the post-1990 Royals are at winning baseball games; all the GOP guests who came over and polluted the house with Massive Stupid (which smells a bit like burning plastic and cheap bbq sauce; only getting attention because of BOOBIES!

It's gotta be hard.

Her life. That's what's hard.

I mean, not the only thing, but …

… oh, neverfuckingmind …

Isyaignert March 15, 2012 at 5:42 pm

There you go again, Moses, making me laugh whilst being enlightened.

Lascauxcaveman March 15, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Bristol Palin took shots at you and your mom in her memoir, saying, “I’ve never seen people with so much Louis Vuitton luggage, so many cell phones, and so many constant helpers to do hair and makeup.”

???? !!!! "Took Shots?"

More like "expressed jealous admiration."

Guppy March 15, 2012 at 3:54 pm

That's why she went on that campaign-funded shopping spree, right?

Tundra Grifter March 15, 2012 at 3:26 pm

It just doesn't seem that long ago (2008, actually) when she was talking about potential boyfriends who only wanted to talk about her Mom.

SayItWithWookies March 15, 2012 at 3:27 pm

I'm sure Meghan's a fine person, for an overprivileged, entitled, filthy rich princess who think's she's the center of the universe. It's just her pre-adolescent political and social opinions that really annoy me.

LiveToServeYa March 15, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Exactly. A lot of young women without her name and money could do much better. 'She turned out well considering' is really stupid.

DarwinianDemon March 15, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Thank you. It annoyed me to no end when she would go on talk show after talk show espousing Republican economic theory but when she goes on Maddow and Maddow confronts her about it all of a sudden it's "tee hee, I don't know anything about economics"

GOPCrusher March 15, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Well, it's better than Liz Cheney and her "I'm a foreign policy expert because Dad got me a jerb at the State Department" attitude.

Boojum_Reborn March 15, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Yes, but tits, amirite?

The_Trainman March 15, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Nope, not gushing over this one just because she doesn't come off as insane. That is really all she's got going for herself. Beyond her self confidence and a few reality-based opinions on homophobia and sexism lies a swap of backward, right-wing ideas just waiting to germinate into a political campaign. Sorry, Christie/McCain 20XX is just gonna have to wait till after the apocalypse.

crybabyboehner March 15, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I not only wish her well, I would gladly have a go with her.

widestanceromance March 15, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Alt-text stand-in: my mammaries have just been sold

fuflans March 15, 2012 at 5:55 pm

i was wondering why that song was going thru my head.

now i know.

UnholyMoses March 15, 2012 at 3:31 pm

BTW — My work has decided to block this site because, per Web(non)Sense the site is labeled as "Entertainment."

Because the last thing workers should be is entertained.

But, whatev — it's their Intrawebs while I'm there, I guess.

Been nice hanging out here, hope to visit whilst working at home (ala today), maybe on the weekend, etc. etc. etc.

Also, too: I haz the most sad because WebSense didn't label this place PR0Nish. Or LEFTYSOCIALISTCOMMIEHIPPIE.

So step up the skullfucking. FOR FREEDUMB!

Baconzgood March 15, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Bribe the IT guys.

UnholyMoses March 15, 2012 at 3:43 pm

I would, but I ran out of Magic cards, and The Boy really likes my old Star Wars action figures, so …

carlgt1 March 15, 2012 at 3:32 pm

well I have to give her credit for "strictly dickly" – that's pretty funny. I hope she can avoid being a "Stepford Wife" someday….

owhatever March 15, 2012 at 3:33 pm

I only read Wonkette for the articles.

proudgrampa March 15, 2012 at 3:46 pm

I was in my teens when I told my Mom that I only read Playboy for the articles. She bought it hook, line, and sinker.

I love my Mom.

Tundra Grifter March 15, 2012 at 3:34 pm

I sure hope she told her Dad about this, because if he just hears "Hey – Your daughter is in Playboy!" it's going to mean The Big One.

"I's comin', 'Lisbeth!"

DaRooster March 15, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Pics or GTFO!!

OK… I'll buy the book.

OneYieldRegular March 15, 2012 at 3:37 pm

My girlfriends and I just sat around for days in my parents' big bed in one of our nine homes playing Rock Band and watching TV and snacking and popping Xanax while everyone else in my political party was out forcing women to have transvaginal ultrasounds and denying everyone health insurance and doing whatever big business tells them to do and baiting the President because of his skin color and supporting legislation to allow bullying of the gay people who just adore me.

Ugh.

BornInATrailer March 15, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Tell me when she has an "article" in Shaved Snizz.

LiveToServeYa March 15, 2012 at 3:40 pm

STOP THINKING WITH YOUR BALLS, YOU PEOPLE. Oh, wait, this is Wonkette. Carry on, then.

Guppy March 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm

In Soviet Wonkette, the Editrix thinks with your balls!

FROTHY March 16, 2012 at 5:00 am

Yaknow? I mean, is there anything ELSE but buttsechs, TITS, and snatch around this place?

Papa_Uniform March 15, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Way too Jessica Rabbititty.

Mr Pre-Press March 15, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Like that's a bad thing? SuperBad maybe?

proudgrampa March 15, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I, for one, welcome Meghan's candor. I think she's pretty HAWT.

Nice casabas, too.

If she would just keep her opinions to herself…

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:44 pm

There are ways to keep her from talking…

FROTHY March 16, 2012 at 5:01 am

Duct tape. Fixes everything.

GOPCrusher March 15, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I have to imagine that this will set off Bible Spice and she will be forced to step up her game and demand that her, Bristol, or both get a full-blown pictorial in retaliation for Megs besmirching of the good name of Palin.

UnholyMoses March 15, 2012 at 3:45 pm

95+ comments and no one mentions the Huntsman girls yet?

Slackers …

Guppy March 15, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Megs' daddy was more influential than their daddy, so…

ph7 March 15, 2012 at 4:05 pm

And something tells me Meghan tries harder. She seems like a pleaser…

Pop_Socket March 15, 2012 at 4:12 pm

How soon we forget?

They were kinda on the wholesome side. Megs is much more fun.

FROTHY March 16, 2012 at 5:01 am

Geezus, they have that Holey Underwear, dood.

horsedreamer_1 March 19, 2012 at 10:01 pm

They make crotchless Temple Garments?

RadioStalingrad March 15, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Playboy:: porn: Wolf Blitzer:: journalism

ElPinche March 15, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Oh get off it dickly teaser! Boobs or GTFO!

Eve8Apples March 15, 2012 at 3:57 pm

"But I’m strictly dickly. I can’t help it. I love sex and I love men."

She sounds like a Limbaugh slut — I mean prostitute — No I mean tramp — Wait a minute, I mean whore — no that's not right, what's the word I'm looking for? Tart? Huzzy? Horny bitch? Cow in heat? Rush's wretch? Oh, let's go with that, she's Rush's kind of wretch.

GOPCrusher March 15, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Yeah, but she probably has Mummy or Daddy pay for her birth control, so that's different.

FROTHY March 16, 2012 at 5:02 am

Most likely Mummy, since Daddums doesn't HAVE the big bux.

Isyaignert March 15, 2012 at 5:50 pm

She's probably even on ….. b.i.r.t.h.c.o.n.t.r.o.l! What a slut!

Guppy March 15, 2012 at 3:58 pm

"And there are way more important things for me to do than obsess about my weight."

"I had gained a lot of weight. I went up four sizes thanks to Starbucks and Snickers."

You've come a long way, baby!

Doktor StrangeZoom March 15, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Of all the young right-wingers in the media, I hate Megs McCain least.

Nopantsmcgee March 15, 2012 at 4:06 pm

I like her. I don't care, I just like her.

Chet Kincaid March 15, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Did they ask her what she's doing in Playboy while her brothers are off risking their lives serving the country? Because whatever it is she's trying to do in public seems kind of worthless by comparison. Get those boobs into a sailor's uniform!!

anniegetyerfun March 15, 2012 at 4:08 pm

OMG, you guys, our favorite subway hero, Pudgy Boyle, is a genius investigative reporter!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/15/dnc-dail

GOPCrusher March 15, 2012 at 4:56 pm

I would be careful, messing with Debbie Wasserman-Schultz. She strikes me as the type that would snap off one of your limbs and bludgeon you to death with it.
WITH VOTES!

Chet Kincaid March 15, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Alexis Texas is McCain's daughter?!

horsedreamer_1 March 19, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Never seen 'em in the same place at the same time, eh?

Steverino247 March 15, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I'd hit that so hard, whoever pulled me off would be the rightful King of England.

(And of course, that's not original, but damned funny)

Chet Kincaid March 15, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Maybe Rush and Newt can kill each other over Megs in an Old-Timey Duel.

Mr Pre-Press March 15, 2012 at 4:16 pm

She had me at strictly dickly. Y'all can run along now.

Toomush_Infer March 15, 2012 at 4:20 pm

The problem is, we're so damned thirsty for someone on the right not to spout jibberish or make racial namecalling their stock in trade, that Babs sounds like our pretend girlfriend…she's…well….ok….BUT GREAT TITS….(oops)…

BarackMyWorld March 15, 2012 at 4:27 pm

"Strictly dickly"

And I'm giddy for those titties.

retarded_baboon March 15, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Man what a rip. FREE THE TATAS MEGS!!1!

ElPinche March 15, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Just as long as she keeps her "can't pick a lane, GOP or liberal"-indecisiveness in politics and not en la cama. "What ?! No buttsekks, but you're begging me to lick your culo? Just think of my verga as a very very very large tongue. "

thefrontpage March 15, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Playboy didn't bother asking about the famous CPAC orgy at the Wardman Park Hotel a couple of years ago, when MCCain, Coulter, Malkin, Bachman, Sarah AND Bristol Palin and Chrisy McConnell all took Prozac, got naked, and wrestled in crushed Cheetos powder. About 30 CPAC attendees, men and women, joined in. It was crazy! There might have been some alcohol involved. But it was a wild party!

Huevos Ocupados March 16, 2012 at 6:04 am

Wow! I bet Coulter's dick was sore after all of that!

HelmutNewton March 15, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Looking totally fappable in that pic, Megs!

GreatChristiano March 15, 2012 at 5:32 pm

She may be "strictly dickly," but is she tickly?

I usually "totally take off" when I "biff it fast" as well!

BigSkullF*ckingDog March 15, 2012 at 5:41 pm

I can't believe I was so buzy at work today that I am just now seeing those, I mean this, I mean the article. Dammit!

JackObin March 15, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Jesus, what a tub.

Fuck Toad March 16, 2012 at 11:40 am

More for the rest of us….

ttommyunger March 15, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Likes sex and loves men? I guess she's ok in my book.

Exhausted66 March 15, 2012 at 6:37 pm

I'm sure she's used to yachts, but I wonder if she'd like a motorboat.

C_R_Eature March 15, 2012 at 6:40 pm

I.L.B.T's

That is all.

HolyCow!! March 15, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Anyone who uses the phrase "strickly dickly" immediately gets written off as an imbecile.

Huevos Ocupados March 16, 2012 at 6:06 am

And invited to dinner and a movie!

mavenmaven March 15, 2012 at 7:48 pm

I'd biff that.

rocktonsam March 15, 2012 at 8:11 pm

my dickly haz a sad

she is kinda cute in that picture you guys

DeLand_DeLakes March 15, 2012 at 9:44 pm

"Strickly dickly." Uh, Megs, I think I'll get over it somehow. If I want a girl who's big on boobs and short on brains who's looking to "experiment", I can pick up a baker's dozen of them stumbling along Frat Row on Friday night.

DocChaos March 15, 2012 at 10:35 pm

So if the Playboy photographers/airbrushers can make MM look that good, does that mean I spent my adolescence fapping to foldouts of merely average looking girls with big hooters, and not the stunning goddesses I imagined?

GregComlish March 15, 2012 at 11:28 pm

What about "occasionally anally"? Can you do that? How about "whoreishly orally"?

Schmegeg March 16, 2012 at 12:43 am

Chris Christie?? Ack.

FROTHY March 16, 2012 at 4:30 am

I'd do her in a hot NY minute.

Wut? I like big boobs and I like wimminz wit some actual real FLESH on 'em. OK, so I'd duct tape her mouf first, but who can listen to that vapid wahwah anywho?

DahBoner March 16, 2012 at 8:05 am

"I went up four sizes because of Starbuck and Snickers "

The names of two porno stars who cummed gallons of jizz down her throat?

I hear that can be fattening…

elburritodeluxe March 16, 2012 at 9:07 am

"Once someone signs up for Dancing With the Stars, it’s hard to sympathize."

Ladies and gentlemen, the money quote.

Fuck Toad March 16, 2012 at 11:20 am

ONE MILLION WHORE DIAMONDS.

Nesnora March 20, 2012 at 10:45 am

A busty, blonde, slutty-rich-girl posing in Playboy… how 2012 of her!

Santorum is going to pray really fucking raw for her.

southrnbelle100 March 22, 2012 at 2:20 am

One day soon she will regret this interview.

Not too smart, Meg.

SorosBot March 15, 2012 at 3:43 pm

I'm seeing right through you; watch it pal!

prommie March 15, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I guess I have been so in awe of her brilliant mind, I didn't notice before.

Fare la Volpe March 15, 2012 at 3:48 pm

That's what sugar daddies are for.

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:49 pm

You can? Perhaps you can answer a question for me, then.

Does this thong make my ass look big?

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Oh, that's a good point! Of all people, I should know better.

Don't ask. It had to do with a bout of lice…

Steverino247 March 15, 2012 at 4:05 pm

I've found that eyebrow color usually matches what would have been there pretty well, so there's that "standard" to consider.

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Now, hang on…we're on topic, talking about how some women, like Megan, attract gay men and strategies straight men can use to slip in

actor212 March 15, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Thighmaster.

SorosBot March 15, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Oh yes, of course I did. But I feel more akin to the Japanese-only Breastmasters.

Baconzgood March 15, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Ummmm. They aren't called "lice".

prommie March 15, 2012 at 4:15 pm

They get in your eyebrows, too.

FROTHY March 16, 2012 at 4:44 am

Not true. Lots of California blondes with fairly dark eyebrows and sunbleached blond hair — and you can tell the difference between the sunbleach and the bottle. Well, at least *I* can, and deity knows I'm not the most observant sod.

Fare la Volpe March 16, 2012 at 7:50 am

They make eyebrow dye now, along with pubic hair dye.

They're catching onto us.

prommie March 15, 2012 at 4:17 pm

I heard Dickinson girls are easy!

Chet Kincaid March 15, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Who has hacked into prommie's account!?

SorosBot March 15, 2012 at 4:26 pm

OK, that's another on my "Wonkette guys I'm keeping an eye on" list.

Fare la Volpe March 15, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Then thank God nobody watched it.

prommie March 15, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Hey, be cool, man.

Barb March 15, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Yes, I had a good time, HistoriCat.

Fare la Volpe March 15, 2012 at 4:30 pm

He's funny in the same way that a closeted Droopy Dog can be funny.

prommie March 15, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Ixnay, ixnay, far as you know, I am always a perfect gentleman, ok?

GhostBuggy March 15, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Weird. Almost as weird as the Transformers that are powered by kisses from girls, which I am not making up.

SorosBot March 15, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Yes, the infamous Kiss Players. Another Japanese-only toyline, of course.

Extemporanus March 15, 2012 at 5:05 pm

True story:

My ex-girlfriend got fired on the spot from an inexplicably hoity-toity dirty little diner in the Marina after asking Kevin Spacey's seventeen-ish 7am breakfast companion whether he wanted cream.

The sassy hand on the hip, devilish little wink, and fact that she omitted the words "in your coffee" we're apparently not appreciated by the sour sugar daddy who owned the joint.

Boojum_Reborn March 15, 2012 at 6:53 pm

No, your ass makes your ass look big.

MosesInvests March 15, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Do you mind if we dance wit' yo dates?

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