GOP Would Love to Support Reauthorization of Violence Against Women Act, But, You Know

 
 Anybody with half a brain (and specifically those with half a brain) knows that the GOP loves women -- loves them just to death! -- and it's the Democratic leadership like Louis C.K. and Your Wonkette who call cunty women "cunts" so we are super-way-worse. So why is everybody ragging all over the poor maligned GOP? Because the Democrats are playing partisan political "tricks" on them, like forcing them to vote against the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act, that's why! Twirl your mustaches, everybody! Twirl your mustaches for evil! 

Let Alabama Jeff Sessions explificate the Rovian madness of the modern Democrat Party:

“I favor the Violence Against Women Act and have supported it at various points over the years, but there are matters put on that bill that almost seem to invite opposition,” said Senator Jeff Sessions, Republican of Alabama, who opposed the latest version last month in the Judiciary Committee. “You think that’s possible? You think they might have put things in there we couldn’t support that maybe then they could accuse you of not being supportive of fighting violence against women?”

Yes, that is possible indeed! So, like what?

The legislation would continue existing grant programs to local law enforcement and battered women shelters, but would expand efforts to reach Indian tribes and rural areas. It would increase the availability of free legal assistance to victims of domestic violence, extend the definition of violence against women to include stalking, and provide training for civil and criminal court personnel to deal with families with a history of violence. It would also allow more battered illegal immigrants to claim temporary visas, and would include same-sex couples in programs for domestic violence.

You could see how the Republicans could never vote for anything like that, because that would mean admitting gheys exist, and also Mexicans. Case closed! But is there more? Perhaps a concerned woman for America could give her view!

Janice Shaw Crouse [pictured above!], a senior fellow at the conservative Concerned Women for America, said her group had been pressing senators hard to oppose reauthorization of legislation she called “a boondoggle” that vastly expands government and “creates an ideology that all men are guilty and all women are victims.”

That's just how Your Wonkette reads it too. What about you, Phyllis Schlafly? Got anything shitty and insane to add?

Last month on the conservative Web site Townhall.com, the conservative icon Phyllis Schlafly called the Violence Against Women Act a slush fund “used to fill feminist coffers” and demanded that Republicans stand up against legislation that promotes “divorce, breakup of marriage and hatred of men.”

Thank you. So the rest of you sluts, who are unconcerned, not "women," and certainly not "for" America, take a tip from Phyllis: before you leave your abusive husband, just try to remember what you loved about him in the first place. And while you're at it, try not to make him so mad! 

[ NYTimes ]