book em dan-o

Ann Coulter: Only Ann Coulter Should Exploit GOP Base, Challenges Sarah Palin to Slap-Fight

CatfightBeloved liberal icon Ann Coulter had stern words for genius Facebook inventor Sarah Palin, whom apparently she simply does not care for, while speaking in Vero Beach, Florida.

“One of the ones promoting that [a brokered convention] is Sarah Palin, who has suggested herself as the choice,” Coulter said. “I think as long as it’s between us girls — I’ve been observing something about her. I don’t think it’s likely to happen. I don’t know what these people are cheering for. As I wrote in a column a few weeks back, who is this dream candidate we’re hoping to get from the convention, because Rick Perry used to be the dream candidate. Can we see them in a debate first?”

Coulter was so perturbed, she was forced to compare Palin unfavorably to the Democrat Party.

“And just a more corporate problem is I think our party and particularly our movement, the conservative movement, does have more of a problem with con men and charlatans than the Democratic Party,” she said. “I mean, the incentives seem to be set up to allow people — as long as you have a band of a few million fanatical followers, you can make money. The Democrats have managed to figure out how not to do that.”


Coulter proposed a pledge for Republican presidential candidates, which would be meant to limit their ability to profit off of political stardom.

“The one pledge I support and I think I’m going to draft it up is for all Republican nominees for president — I want them to sign a pledge saying, ‘If I lose the nomination I pledge I will not take a gig with Fox News or write a book.’”

Coulter, a frequent guest on various television programs featuring political inanities, is herself the author of nine “books.”


About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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  1. SorosBot

    Well yes the conservative movement, does indeed have more of a problem with con men and charlatans than the Democratic Party; Ann should know, being one of them.

    1. GOPCrusher

      Yep, she would be the expert. Maybe she's figured out that Sarah Palin is cutting into her profits?

      1. SorosBot

        Today she's even more of a has-been than the snowbilly, but really if she wants attention she should go after someone who is actually relevant.

  2. MissTaken

    That's a good picture of Coulter. The shadow from her chin hides her Adam's apple fairly well.

      1. SorosBot

        But according to the fashion industry, the longer and skinnier a woman's legs are, the hotter they are!

        Really that's not true; short smooth silky legs can be very hot indeed.

          1. fuflans

            i have skinny legs. really, they don't snap.

            (and i would not insult mr fuflans by saying he is anything other than thorough in his attentions).

          1. MissTaken

            It is funny that all us short ladies seem to have the biggest boobies. I guess our low center of gravity helps us support them.

          2. Limeylizzie

            Very true, I am from a family of short, large-breasted women, I knew it was my destiny.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      "I find that photo difficult to masterbate to."

      But then again, I'm not into dudes.

      1. nonbeliever7

        But I hear that photo works well if you're into nekrophil….necrofilly….bloodless corpses.

  3. Lucidamente1

    I don't know about you guys, but I was hoping for another sequel to Alien vs. Predator.

      1. Terry

        Ann and Sarah could make the Alien and Predator weep from fear if they were standing between either woman and a pile of money.

    1. Baconzgood

      If Sarah calls her an insane bitch back the perpetual motion generator that has eluded mankind will finally be created.

  4. memzilla

    "…I want them to sign a pledge saying, ‘If I lose the nomination I pledge I will not take a gig with Fox News or write a book.’”

    This is the first time I've ever agreed with Mann Coulter about anything. Someone better check on the temperature of Hell.

  5. MissTaken

    I want them to sign a pledge saying, ‘If I lose the nomination I pledge I will not take a gig with Fox News or write a book.’

    Then where's the benefit of running? To actually become President? Hahahahaha!

  6. chicken_thief

    Another pledge?! Repubs are going to need a fucking flow chart to keep track of all their pledges. Please, Ann, let's go with an alternate possibility.

    1. Doktor StrangeZoom

      It'll be like the Glorious Loyalty Oath Crusade in Catch-22:

      All the enlisted men and officers on combat duty had to sign a loyalty oath to get their map cases from the intelligence tent, a second loyalty oath to receive their flak suits and parachutes from the parachute tent, a third loyalty oath for Lieutenant Balkington, the motor vehicle officer, to be allowed to ride from the squadron to the airfield in one of the trucks. Every time they turned around there was another loyalty oath to be signed. They signed a loyalty oath to get their pay from the finance officer, to obtain their PX supplies, to have their hair cut by the Italian barbers. To Captain Black, every officer who supported his Glorious Loyalty Oath Crusade was a competitor, and he planned and plotted twenty-four hours a day to keep one step ahead. He would stand second to none in his devotion to country. When other officers had followed his urging and introduced loyalty oaths of their own, he went them one better by making every son of a bitch who came to his intelligence tent sign two loyalty oaths, then three, then four; then he introduced the pledge of allegiance, and after that “The Star-Spangled Banner,” one chorus, two choruses, three choruses, four choruses. Each time Captain Black forged ahead of his competitors, he swung upon them scornfully for their failure to follow his example. Each time they followed his example, he retreated with concern and racked his brain for some new stratagem that would enable him to turn upon them scornfully again.

    2. Tundra Grifter

      Just as long as they didn't have to replace their little American lapel flags with pledge pins.

  7. Wilcoxyz

    I'm thinking Palin-Coulter pillow fight to settle this. And maybe we could get a woman to stand in for Coulter to make it sexy. I mean fair.

  8. Lascauxcaveman

    Annie, dear, the reason you conservatives have more of a problem with con men and charlatans is that you have a larger percentage of stupid people who believe them.

    You, of all people, have known and profited from this for years.

  9. GeoffPeterson


    But, srsly Ann, stop making sense and talking all reasonable-like. That's not what we expect from you, and anyway, reasonableness is our thing.

      1. SorosBot

        She's always made sense every once in a while; the woman's not a crazed true believer, but just a grifter who plays them for profit, and makes outrageous statements for attention.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      "We need a President who cares less about Smith Barney and more about Barney Smith."

      ~ Barney Smith at the 2008 Democratic Convention

  10. Schmannnity

    Ann Coulter: 50 years old and never pregnant. I think she may be using the demon contraception.

        1. YouBetcha

          Too much screech, not enough sultry. It's really hard to maintain some chub when you have an emaciated man screaming at you. So I've been told.

  11. slowhansolo

    Just for context: As far as Ann was concerned, Santorum was just perfect, except for his permissive stance on immigration. So, you know, credibility.

  12. metamarcisf

    If by "book" you mean "the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex", then, yes.

  13. freakishlywrong

    Didn't this blathering hypocrite anoint the snow billy with "conservative of the year", in 2009, the same year her book screeching about single mothers being the cause of all the problems in Ameriduh? And Bristol attended the crowning? Shut up, twunt.

  14. Generation[redacted]

    "— as long as you have a band of a few million fanatical followers, you can make money. The Democrats have managed to figure out how not to do that.”

    Make money? Yes, we are experts at not doing that.

    1. GeorgiaBurning

      Have the debate on the convention floor. First dibs on the grape Kool-Aid concession, thought the You-tube video might make more money.

  15. Callyson

    as long as you have a band of a few million fanatical followers, you can make money. The Democrats have managed to figure out how not to do that
    Yeah, that's because the fanatics are all in *your* party, Coultergeist…

  16. YouBetcha

    Ann Coulter? Not genetic female. But I'd still pay good money to see her and Palin pull out eachother's hair.

  17. Steverino247

    I saw that magazine cover once, only the caption was "It Puts the Lotion on Its Skin"

  18. Guppy

    "I mean, the incentives seem to be set up to allow people — as long as you have a band of a few million fanatical followers, you can make money."

    I didn't realize Coulter was working on an autobiography.

  19. elviouslyqueer

    That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

  20. Baconzgood

    "Rick Perry used to be the dream candidate"


    You still got it Ann.

  21. HolyCow!!

    Mediawhore on mediawhore action. All we need is a kiddie pool full of mud.

    Even liberals might pay to see that.

  22. elviouslyqueer

    All right, Alexis and Krystle. Back to your corners, you hags, and come out fighting.

    1. Toomush_Infer

      Which one was the Witch of the East …? I get so easily confused by these….not sure Ann would melt with water….might have to use kerosene….

  23. SoBeach

    The conservative movement has problem with con men and charlatans. But acid tongued, revolting, "pundits" making bank calling half the country godless traitors are juuuust fine.

    Side note: She was speaking maybe ten miles from me last night, and this is the first I've heard of it. She's really lost some mojo.

    1. beavertank

      Not to judge, but you're such a trooper for volunteering to take the tranny and save the rest of us

      That "woman" is as convincing as I am when you slap a wig on me.

  24. DonnyKerabotsos

    No snark here, just cynical satisfaction. It's looking none too good for the R's when the adult in the room turns out to be Ann Coulter.

    I am growing cautiously hopeful that after the bizarre and entertaining spectacle that the repubs have provided this primary season, that the republican party will roll into Tampa in August, drop the gavel, and just collapse like a circus tent in a tornado.

    As for a brokered convention, at this point I wouldn't be surprised to see them turn their backs on the fab four and nominate someone who didn't spend millions of $ or have a PAC or participate in a single debate, caucus, primary or straw poll.

    But not Sarah. She has one of those 'vagina' thingees they're so touchy about.

  25. ph7

    I want them to sign a pledge saying, ‘If I lose the nomination I pledge I will not take a gig with Fox News

    Notice that Republicans no longer even try to deny that Fox News is the commercial arm of the Party.

    1. Fukui-sanYesOta

      To be fair, he did cover his ass before the primaries with a long article about how polling in the deep south, particularly in AL and MS, is the most unreliable in the country.

      Which makes me wonder why. Do a lot of people in these states fear Satan's Electronic Mouthpiece? Are they just confused?

      1. Mumbletypeg

        yeah, I was prompted to revisit Silver's site after Lucidamente called out the concern-trolling NYT thing yesterday and found myself reading the same bit. agreed, he was covering and at the same time I learned something from reading his analysis, just like I used to when I took time to read him more often.

      2. V572 Flambé

        Yeah, he’s good. Just thought it was funny that the wrong predictos were still up on the site.

  26. anniegetyerfun

    When it comes to speaker's fees and Fox News appearances, I don't think that former Presidents have that much of a problem. If you want to talk about vote buying via lobbying, then we can look to Congress and find countless examples of con men and charlatans.

    I'm more worried about Charlie Rangel's effect on our nation's policy than Sarah Palin's. Palin, like Coulter, is actually irrelevant to the political process. Sound and fury, signifiying nothing. Oh, sure, they get their fame and fortune, but true impact on actual laws? No.

  27. fuflans

    i believe 'the lady' is sitting in a barcelona chair which is bauhaus, european and socialisms.

  28. beavertank

    "The Democrats have managed to figure out how not to do that."

    Yeah, it's called not being a horrible disingenuous blood sucking parasite. Hard one to figure out, I know.

  29. sailingthestyx

    if there's one thing that I learned in high school, it was to never interrupt a cat fight…

    1. doloras

      Word up my nizzle. Trans people are massively hurt that you would compare any of them to Ann Coulter. And if Ann Coulter were trans, it still wouldn't be okay, any more than it's okay to use homophobic slurs against Log Cabin Republicans.

          1. commiegirl

            Ack, no she didn't, I am drinking wine. She *lives* in Dallas. She got it done in Thailand.

    2. C_R_Eature

      WTF is it about transmissions that people find funny? I have a 5-speed Manual and I don't think it's funny at all!
      What's that? Trannies? Oh! Never mind.

      Seriuosly – no Trans Jokes from me from now on. And comparing Coulter to anything but an evil Synthetic Replicant Sex/Anger Troll is wrong.

      1. doloras

        Helpful hint for all: tr*nny is a word like n*gger or f*ggot. Don't use it unless you are one.

        1. C_R_Eature

          Thanks for the heads up. That'll be easy 'cos that's the only time I've ever written that word in that context, I think. Mine is almost always a gearhead reference.

        1. C_R_Eature

          No Worries, Mate. Now I know where the line is (and that there IS a line) it won't be crossed again.

          I think the real insult here is being compared to Ann Coulter and I always thought that the ugliest part of her body was her Mind.
          (hattip to FZ!)

          PS Thanx for not bring a Scold. That just pisses me off.

          Also: If you haven't read This you will probably enjoy it.

    3. FROTHY

      Thank you. I have many trans friends, and it hurts me to read "tranny" being flung around like a casual insult here on teh Wonketz. I won't say anything about it simply because I believe strongly in the right to say offensive things, a habit I myself indulge in to the max. But thank you for standing up for all the wonderful transexual/gender/vestite people in the world, who don't deserve to be casually insulted.

  30. Eve8Apples

    "Can we see them in a debate first?”

    Jesus Fuckin' Christ, NOOOOOOOO! My liver can't take any more GOP debates.

    Isn't too many debates the heart of the problem with the GOP? The more the assclowns speak, the less the American public likes them.

  31. James Michael Curley

    You think that's a horrible cover? You should hear Barry Manilow's cover of "All Along the Watchtower."

      1. James Michael Curley

        My son is a big Battlestar Galactica fan and, I think, the final episode had the characters passing along a message about a secret meeting by using lines from Watchtower, so I looked up the song on Amazon. Manilow is probably the lamest of quite a few lamos who did covers of it. I haven’t got the nerve to look up “Like a Rolling Stone”

  32. Terry

    "Can we see them in a debate first?”

    For the love of all that's holy, please, no more GOP debates.

  33. Tundra Grifter

    Ole Newt thought he had a couple of million fanatical Twitter followers.

    Only they turned out to be the phantom creation of his highly-paid consultants.

  34. Antispandex

    “I think as long as it’s between us girls …"

    I'd watch that kind of talk Ann. It's just going to get some investigating perv with one of those "up-skirt" cams to go looking for proof…that won't be good, for most of us. You know, the ones who aren't bulimic.

  35. valthemus

    Did anyone else look at Coulter's pointy toes and immediately think of that scene in the "From Russia With Love" where the old lady psycho spy tries to kill James Bond with knives that popped out of her shoes?

  36. scarface99

    i got spinach stuck in my teeth…..let me use her left leg to pick it out (anorexicskinny wymen are repulsive)

  37. elburritodeluxe

    I would fucking LOVE to figure out how to do that (con people with empty liberal nonsense), by the way!

  38. Mr Pre-Press

    I propose a duel between the Impalinator and Coultergeist—14" double-dongers, at 50 yards.

  39. Chet Kincaid

    I have yet to hear a suitably demeaning equivalent to "Democrat Party" that a Republican would actually be offended by, so I say the Democrats should just embrace "Democrat Party" and use it as much as possible. That will shut their fucking wingnut pieholes.

    1. Designer_Rants

      I gotta imagine "Republicrat" bothers some of them. Especially if it's used in the casual, unacknowledged manner they do because some of them actually don't know any better. I was listening to NPR or State PR the other day and a guy called in and was corrected 2 or 3 times, but kept saying "Democrat Party" cuz HE REALLY DIDN"T UNDERSTAND it wasn't proper.

      So I'm gonna go with Republicrat when I'm feeling frisky, see if it annoys properly.

  40. LetUsBray

    Grifterella vs. Coultergeist? What are they going to do, have a Shrieking Boner-Imploding Voice-Off?

  41. randcoolcatdaddy

    Ann Coulter's still around? I thought her handlers had recalled her back to that alien reptilian planet.

  42. ttommyunger

    The difference between Ann and a bowling ball: I could eat a bowling ball if I had to. The difference between Lou Sarah and Ann: I could fuck Sarah if she promised not to speak.

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