i can see facebook from my house

Sarah Palin Not Embarrassed Enough This Week, Would Like to Debate Obama, Please

All Hail Zod.Self-awareness does not seem to be Sarah Palin’s strong suit. (Her strong suits are winking, licking her lips, and quittin’ stuff.) Having made herself an easy target for anybody with iMovie, with her rather odd assertion that Obama, a known Lyin’ African, would like to take America back to the good ol’ slavin’ days, Sarah Palin was simply terribly offended that an Obama campaign video-capture-person might take her appearance and, you know, show it. And now Sarah Palin is out for revenge, via her Facebook page.

Exhibit A in these diversionary tactics is an absurd new attack ad President Obama has released taking my comments out of context. I’m not running for any office, but I’m more than happy to accept the dubious honor of being Barack Obama’s “enemy of the week” if that includes the opportunity to debate him on the issues Americans are actually concerned about. (Remember when I said you don’t need a title to make a difference?)

Your Wonkette joins every American in saying, “Yes please.”

[Sarah Palin's Facebook page, via TheHill]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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174 comments

  1. arduinohacker

    Oh, wow, she could make big bucks with HBO– probably make more than Julianne Moore, and worth it too (funnier).

  2. Buzz Feedback

    You don't need a title to make a difference, but I'm going to give you one anyway, Mrs. Palin: $hit 4 Brainz.

    1. beavertank

      It doesn't take a title, or intelligence, to tear down what those who came before you built for your benefit.

      Congratulations Mrs. Palin. You're a barbarian horde unto yourself.

        1. beavertank

          It almost came out "whorde" instead, to further blur the line. Almost.

          But I decided to be civil.

          …I chose poorly.

  3. elviouslyqueer

    Nice try, Rebecca, but there is not enough tequila in this hemisphere to make me click that video.

    1. Callyson

      Blah blah blah Barack Obama has never been a man of valor blah blah blah pre – Civil War days blah blah blah.
      Meaning–oh no! A Blah in the White House!

    1. sewollef

      I'm not getting enough "debating" these days. I remember — as a youngster — being able to "debate" at least 2-3 times a night. Sometimes more if my "debating" partner was extra special.

      Wait…. we are all talking about the same thing, right?

    2. danielwalldammit

      The sad part is that her supporters would probably come away thinking she won. Just take any logic text and turn to the fallacies section; somewhere they have a book that says "Recommended."

  4. FNMA

    God, FNMA here. If you exist — and if you do, I believe we share the same twisted sense of humor — please make this happen. For the children.

  5. DaRooster

    "…I’m more than happy to accept the dubious honor of being Barack Obama’s “enemy of the week” if that includes the opportunity to debate him on the issues Americans are actually concerned about."

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA……………………. OMG!!!………… Do it! Do it!!

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Only someone would have to brief her on what those issues are. Which we all know ain't her strong suit.

    1. AbandonHope

      HELL YES. I am being 100% dead serious snark-free when I say that I would pay to watch this. And I'd make sure to have lots of popcorn on hand first.

  6. beavertank

    This can not be allowed to happen. I will literally laugh myself to death within the first ten minutes, and that's just no good. There's so much schadenfreude I'd be missing out on.

    1. actor212

      This is part of her devious plan: so many liberals will die laughing that there will be a permanent Republican majority.

      DO. NOT. WANT!

  7. KeepFnThatChicken

    I will renounce my atheism, if Jesus will make this a reality.

    HAHAHAHA just kidding, but seriously, COME ON JESUS!

    1. beavertank

      Jesus wants no part of this one.

      Buddha, however, will come through for you. BY THE POWER OF KARMA! IT IS SO!

  8. lefty74

    The sound of her voice makes me twitchy in my seat. Like fingernails on chalkboards
    I hope she don't make my butt hole fall off.

    1. danielwalldammit

      Funny, it doesn't seem to help when you read the words instead of listening to them. Either way, it's nails on a chalkboard,

  9. WiscDad

    She just wants to have a public raggin' rant with him…she doesn't understand the concept of debate…or politics.

  10. EatsBabyDingos

    The only issue that I am aware of that she is quaified to debate is whether the toilet paper rolls from the top side or the backside.

    1. paulabflat

      ah! the ubiquitous tissue issue.

      from what i've read about her homemaking skills, i'm betting that the roll probably sits on top of the toilet tank. step saved!!

  11. DaRooster

    "Exhibit A in these diversionary tactics is an absurd new attack ad…"

    OK, OK… who's writing for her? 2 of those words at least 3 syllables.

  12. Mumbletypeg

    Watch, she will override our President's more salient points with "Nyah nyah — my flag pin's BIGGER than yours. Patriotic FAIL for you, Win for me!"

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Speaking of which – where's the outrage on Fox over the decided lack of flag accessories in Romney's many appearances? Half the time he doesn't even where a suit jacket – so disrespectful of the office he aspires to.

    2. paulabflat

      that's another thing!! with all the money she's scammed, she couldn't buy some tasteful jewelry. i swear, one day she was on some fox show wearing what appeared to be a necklace made of gravel strung on a rope, like wilma flintstone.

      i wonder if her big flag pin is made of real stones and karat gold. what a waste if it is.

  13. Goonemeritus

    In other news Bjork threatened to take heavy weight title holder Alexander Povetkin down town if he keeps acting like a little bitch!

  14. Callyson

    No, bitch, it's the good ol' boys down south of the Mason – Dixon line who want to retreat to the pre – Civil War days.
    Oh, and please make that debate happen. I need a good laugh or ten…

  15. BaldarTFlagass

    "an absurd new attack ad President Obama has released."

    Why the fuck should he have to resort to attacking you? It's your own damn mouth sans brain that's been your downfall, no attacks from others are required.

    1. LesBontemps

      This must be some new meaning for the word "attack," as in "quoting directly the dumbass shit I said, on the teevee."

      1. Dashboard Buddha

        Oh, you mean Tuesday nights at the Palin manse?

        "C'mon Todd…find that baby. Find that baby!!"

    1. ChessieNefercat

      I'm pretty sure she would get more satisfaction from biting the head off of a doomed mate that didn't think things through before saying "Sure!" to the little lady.

    1. prommie

      Where are Reginald FitzUrse, William de Tracey, Hugh de Morville and Richard le Breton when we need them?

  16. Arken

    Pff. Typical liberal media taking her out of context AGAIN. You left out the rest of her debate challenge-

    "but only if I get paid. No pay, no play. That's how mama Sarah gets her fancy dresses and snow machines. Also."

  17. actor212

    My suspicion is Barry would call her on that.

    "I'm sorry, Governor. I've tried. I know that sounds like English and some of them are even words I recognize, but you make no sense to me. Could you rephrase that, please?"

    1. BerkeleyBear

      And then her pack of apologists would declare that a win, since she left him "speechless." Like that GOP douche thinking he schooled Nobel laureate Chu by asking him to explain where oil comes from.

  18. elviouslyqueer

    Sarah's FB post is one of the most well-informed, cogent pieces of argument I've seen in a long time. Well done, Sarah's ghostwriter. Well done indeed.

  19. KeepFnThatChicken

    Actually, I hate to say this, but the campaign needs to focus on Rick and Rmoney. This woman does not deserve any of the President's airtime, ever. I'd rather they pull the ad and ignore her, period, always, also.

    deit: Fuck. "You can't un-ring a bell." Whoever made this ad, we're serving you for dinner.

  20. tessiee

    Forgive the repost, but:

    I immediately thought of the line from the Pogo comic strip where one of the characters said, "Never fight anyone smaller than you. If you win, you're a bully, and if you lose, you're a bum".

    If this ever really happened, Silly Sarah would burst out crying the first time Obama looked at her urbanly or some fucking thing; and it would forever go down in wingnut history that "Obama was mean to our fap target"; just like "Al Gore said he invented the internet" and all the other bullshit stories that they repeat ad infinitum.

    1. KeepFnThatChicken

      WAAAAAY more Dunning-Krueger. She won a fucking election or two. Before that, she was beat-off media.

    2. sewollef

      "Sarah Palin is the living embodiment of both the Peter Principle and the Dunning–Kruger Effect."

      Peter Principle? You mean Peter Frampton and his Vocoder, right?

  21. BaldarTFlagass

    I think that the president is far too busy to bother debating random private citizens. Especially ones that have an IQ falling somewhere between a summer squash and a cold glass of water.

  22. DonnyKerabotsos

    Please, please,PLEASE can Wolf Blitzer moderate? Can each of them sing a song?
    Oh, and holograms should be included also.

  23. BaldarTFlagass

    In describing a debate between Palin and Obama, the temptation would be to use the old saw about bringing a knife to a gunfight. In her case, I think she would be bringing the knife to a global thermonuclear war. wipeout.

  24. FakaktaSouth

    As much as we will clamour for this opportunity, the "establishment GOPers" would NEVER let the stupid drunk girlfriend they accidentally brought to the club speak for them – they wouldn't even let Buddy Roemer have a go at Rick Perry, you think they are going to let Sarah on stage with Pres O and that "I wish Mitt well" smile of his?

      1. FakaktaSouth

        Good Morning Sunshine. Nothing I like better than waking up to you and a good "Sarah Palin thinks she's people" post.

    1. danielwalldammit

      Besides, she is perfectly situated babbling away on Fox News. It's the pretension to be taken seriously that would do her in. So long as she is pitching to the Playground Republicans, she is quite an asset.

  25. UW8316154

    So THIS is what the Pew Center for the Internet and American Life Project means when they refer to conservatives engaging in civil discourse and debate on Facebook!

  26. mavenmaven

    Get it? She'll debate him only on "issues Americans actually care about", in other words, debate limited to Sarah, Bristol, Todd…

    1. paulabflat

      oh, i agree.

      i have my standards and, as low as they are, this is lower.

      a line must sometimes be drawn.

  27. GeorgiaBurning

    She isn't getting enough attention. Can't we just send her some Nordstroms gift cards and make her go away for a few weeks?

  28. UW8316154

    Barry could throw out the icy death-stare and she would simply melt down into a small pile of smoking ash.

  29. prommie

    Ms. Goodhead (spoken in my best Sean Connery Bond impression), pictures of the Wassilla Grifter should always be subjected to the Perez Hilton treatment, with dripping jizz crudely drawn in on the face and, for an interesting effect, dripping from her lips.

  30. hagajim

    Only debate I want to see Sarah in is one where she holds the mike in her mouth until something covers her glasses…

  31. iburl

    (Her strong suits are winking, licking her lips, and quittin’ stuff.)

    Unfair, she is also very skilled at going into labor in Texas and delivering in Alaska.

  32. ingloriousbytch

    I think the best part of that debate would be the moment when Barry looks down at his podium for a long, quiet moment, shakes his head and mutters "Is Barack Obama gonna have to choke a bitch?!"

  33. SorosBot

    You don't need a title to make a difference, but you need to be relevant, which this pathetic has-been is not. Who would Obama then debate next, Dan Quayle?

  34. JustPixelz

    Be sure to perform the traditional pre-debate hand-washing ceremony Sarah.

    If the President of the United States doesn't debate you Sarah, it's not because he's afraid of you. It's because you're unimportant.

    And if his campaign uses your words verbatim in a video, it's not because you're important. It's because you remind viewers of everything they hate about Republicans.

  35. chascates

    You betcha. However the debate rules mandate you answer only the question asked with no mention of other issues and that your answers be in less than 30 words ALL OF WHICH MUST MAKE SENSE!

  36. MarionNYNY

    I'll admit I'm a little miffed at "mybarackobama. com" spending the dough I shelled out for those Apollo tickets on an ad featuring the Great Northern Grifter. Why are they feeding the troll and why don't they get that bringing her out to scare their base is just an insult to the base? Unless of course it's part of a clever conspiracy to elevate her status by making it look like everyone is scared of her in the hopes this will lead to a brokered convention with her on the top of the ticket and yucks for all. RNC you're being puncked!

  37. EykisAquarius

    Something I've looked for and have NEVER been able to find is President Obama even stating that the Snowbilly Grifter exists….

    Can Anyone?

  38. Deportably_Jose

    New Obama campaign fundraising idea: Debate Sarah Palin. Hell, have those eleventy billion debates that Newt Gingrich demands. Sell tickets and host on pay-per-view, to see our President demolish these fools, have proceeds go to the Obama campaign.

  39. HistoriCat

    Debate Obama? This could be tough – I'm sure Malia is a smart kid and all but does she have the experience to hold up under the pressure?

    Wait – Palin's not talking about debating Sasha is she? Because that girl would wipe the floor with Sarah's bumpit.

  40. Deportably_Jose

    Is it really reasonable to attack someone for "taking your words out of context," when in context, you were saying that the President is the boogey-man of white-supremacist fantasies everywhere who wants to lead The Blacks in enslaving the white man?

    Seems to me, the Obama campaign did you a favor by "taking your remarks out of context," as that way, it just makes you look like a lunatic with a poor grasp of history and reality, rather than a member of Stormfront or the Klan.

  41. natoslug

    Would there be enough time to train translators before the debate, or would they settle on a common language? I don't see Sarah learning the intricacies of the English language at this point, and considering the uselessness of the language, I don't see Obama learning whatever the fuck language it is that Palin speaks.

  42. lloydstool

    You used to could see Russia from the Washington Monument, which was why it was built, to keep an eye on them, but no more. It has fallen into disrepair because of the no account African in the White House due to an earthquake, which was his fault.

    Game, set, touchdown.

  43. cotugirl

    She reminds me of Captain Qwark in the Ratchet and Clank video game series. A selfish, deluded coward willing to do daring acts in order to gain money and publicity.

  44. greypanter

    Wow, that was the longest string of words attributed to S.P., that I have seen, that resembles the English language. It could use two more commas, but it's a step in the right direction.

  45. PuckStopsHere

    Listen, let's get down to the substance of what Sarah had to say. Uh…well…never mind. I got nothing.

  46. paulabflat

    i think it's more likely a thesaurus. they're much quicker. without all the explanations and stuff. who needs the etymologies. no pronouncing gazatteer. no elitist stuff like that, stuff that don't count for a hill of sheepshoot 'round here.

    or the google: female dog synonym

  47. paulabflat

    wait a minute.

    how did she leap from being held up as an example of the rampant ignorance in this country to being invited to do anything involving the president of the united states?

    does she plan on somehow stupifying him? barack obama?

    okay, now i WANT to see it.

  48. owhatever

    Just before the debate, she whispers, "Can I just call you Barry?"
    He smiles and replies, "No. You may call me President Obama on first reference, and Mister President afterward, if you prefer."

  49. raresteaksandoilpainting

    With debate experience on both a high school and collegiate level, I would happily offer my services as a debate surrogate for Mr. Obama; who should not have to sully himself with this vicious bitch. In his absence, I would be happy to defend his principles and programs, and leave Ms Palin unable to perform the attacks of character that she thinks constitute a debate. I will also bring my birth certificate, just in case.

  50. SolitaireRose

    I hope this happens, now that "An Idiot Abroad" is over, we need someone on TV on the intellectual level of Karl Pilkington.

  51. bigtexansfan

    To call this dumb cunt a moron would be an insult to morons. I'd liken her intellect to that of a cockroach or mosquito but neither of them have pestered or offended me to a level to deserve such an indignity. Now this complete imbecile want to debate the President? Give me a break, solving in unopened Rubik's cube would be more of a challenge to the President than debating this halfwit.

  52. lulzmonger

    Okay, sure, camwhores gotta camwhore … but this? This is just sad.
    I've got stuff growing in the back of my fridge that could beat her in a debate.

  53. ttommyunger

    Nice to see Sarah from time to time just to remind me of how fucked up we are as a Country. This ignorant cunt wouldn't get a single vote in German Politics, I promise you.

  54. valmach

    and to think this crazy , two steps from White Trash almost became V.P. , whats wrong with Americans' really"

  55. danielwalldammit

    Sorry little girl, the President of the United states doesn't debate random idiots, even if they do make millions off other idiots while pretending to be conservatives on Faux News. Sarah has nothing to say except that she wants us all to love her, cause, …well yeah.

    you betcha!

  56. tessiee

    "I literally cannot imagine what those debates would be like – my mind just can't conceive what it would be like. And I say this as a life-long reader of science fiction."

    Can't you?
    I think she'd handle this with the same coping mechanism she uses for everything else, because it's the only coping mechanism she has.
    She'll pageant walk onto the stage wearing a stars and stripes bikini and high heels, then fire guns at the ceiling.
    Deafening applause for 40 minutes.
    Vapid whore is vapid.

  57. snoopyfan2010

    My guess is that there will be a bunch of talk about ow she is being treated unfairly because she is a woman and how Barry is talking down to her. It would be more trouble than it is worth in the end.

  58. Halloween Jack

    You don't need to imagine what it would be like–just replay the video of her debate with Biden, if you can stand it. She came pre-programmed with cutesy remarks and winks and stuck to her script, at one point not even trying to answer the question and talking about something else, I'm guessing because she'd been coached not to try to wing it (she is a complete disaster when she tries to speak off the cuff about anything). She'd have given the same performance if it had been Obama, Hillary Clinton, you, me, or Elvis that she was facing.

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