LIVESTOCK NEWS  1:10 pm March 13, 2012

Georgia Lawmaker Compares Women to Pigs and Cows for Glory of Still-Born Motherhood

by Liz Colville

i'm gonna keep my baby, oooh, oh

Georgia State Representative Terry England is a person who would like abortions and related procedures to be made illegal after 20 weeks, even if the fetus is known to be stillborn or is not expected to survive past birth. Terry took to the floor of the Georgia house to defend HB 954, as it is known, and reinforced his argument by saying that, you know, farm animals (pigs, cows, and chickens, specifically) sometimes deliver babies that don’t make it, and that’s OK. He has personally delivered these animals “dead or alive,” and it’s sad, but, well, “Life gives us many experiences…,” he droned, and is any experience more life-affirming and special than carrying a dead fetus in one’s sanctified bun-oven for upwards of four months?

Sensing the futility of this tack (in our dreams), England then decided to say that the argument against abortion must be great if his cockfighting friend is willing to give up cockfighting so that women will stop getting abortions, because logic. Regard this video, captured by an amateur hero:

Said the cockfighting enthusiast, who has been threatened by cockfighting laws, and bristled against them forever until he found his cause in the zygote:

Mr. Terry, I wanna tell you something. You tell those folks down there, when they quit killing babies, they can have every chicken I’ve got.

They can have every chicken I’ve got. Music swells, and curtain. [ThinkProgress]

 

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{ 123 comments }

a_pink_poodle March 13, 2012 at 1:13 pm

You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons!

memzilla March 13, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Win for the Blazing Saddles reference.

Callyson March 13, 2012 at 1:13 pm

This guy has "delivered" pigs, cows, and chickens? So now he's an expert on actually giving birth (a very different thing, buddy)?
Jesus, these assholes…

FNMA March 13, 2012 at 1:17 pm

How does one "deliver" a chicken?

anniegetyerfun March 13, 2012 at 1:20 pm

I'm actually a little concerned for the well-being of his fowl now.

MissTaken March 13, 2012 at 1:21 pm

In an egg carton?

SoBeach March 13, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Easy. Hand it out the window along with the red beans and rice and biscuits.

memzilla March 13, 2012 at 1:28 pm

"How does one 'deliver' a chicken? "

FedEggs? (sorry)

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Well, see, first you take it out of the deep fryer…

Guppy March 13, 2012 at 2:17 pm

As a former pizza delivery driver, I've delivered many orders of chicken wings. Therefore, I am qualified to comment on family planning policy.

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 1:54 pm

He's Herschel, from The Walking Dead.

Maman March 13, 2012 at 1:14 pm

That explains why the Illinois legislature is running a women's clinic bill through the agriculture. Turns out my daughters and I are just breeding stock. Is it too early to drink?

anniegetyerfun March 13, 2012 at 1:20 pm

IT IS NEVER TOO EARLY.

FNMA March 13, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Why do people keep asking that question?

Maman March 13, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Because I am afraid of heroin?

banana_bread March 13, 2012 at 1:53 pm

What?? Oh for the love of… brb, writing to my idiot state rep.

fuflans March 13, 2012 at 8:36 pm

yeah thanks for that tip. wtf?

do you know any more?

UnholyMoses March 13, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Keep fucking that chicken, Mr. Terry.

And probably the sheep and goats and cows and …

bumfug March 13, 2012 at 1:14 pm

"Hell, I've had dead sperm riding around in my nutsack for years and you don't see me just throwin' 'em away do ya?"

GhostBuggy March 13, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Giving it to a rentboy isn't throwing it away?

Allmighty_Manos March 13, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Man, good thing for the GOP women can't vote. Oh wait.

UnholyMoses March 13, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out what genius consultant went to the GOP and said:

"Ya know what we should do in a very important election year? Piss off half the voting population! We can do it by bringing up shit that was settled six decades ago, call them all sluts for ever having sex, and make sure we pass a bunch of laws that require medical professionals to rape their patients.

"It's gottabe a winner!"

Meanwhile, somewhere, Barry is smiling …

MrsBiggTime March 13, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I tried, I really tried, to come up with an appropriate snark. But all I can do is hold back my tears.

swordfis March 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Don't worry – just more ammunition. This guy goes to the front of the blooper reel.

ManchuCandidate March 13, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Sounds like someone spent way too much time playing with the milking machines.

Steverino247 March 13, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I thought we left England in 1776. What the hell?

poncho_pilot March 13, 2012 at 1:16 pm

but i've never been sexually attracted to a farm animal. or a Republican. what does this mean for me?

Callyson March 13, 2012 at 1:16 pm

You tell those folks down there, when they quit killing babies, they can have every chicken I’ve got.
Does that include the antibiotics? Because if the wingnuts keep this crap up, we may need to try those for birth control…

AlterNewt March 13, 2012 at 1:17 pm

"A chicken in every vagina".

FNMA March 13, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Roosters are sometimes referred to as "cocks." Just sayin'…

Maman March 13, 2012 at 1:23 pm

or cloaca

SorosBot March 13, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Someone else here watched Pink Flamingos?

(Actually we turned it off after that scene).

BigSkullF*ckingDog March 13, 2012 at 2:46 pm

So you missed the dog poop eating scene at the end?

gurukalehuru March 13, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Oh, I wish that I had..

Guppy March 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Keep fuckin' that chicken!

horsedreamer_1 March 13, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Japan & Brazil: "We're listening…"

coolhandnuke March 13, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Animal husbandry has a new righteous father figure.

slithytoves March 13, 2012 at 1:18 pm

I think it's time for England to deliver that dead brain of his.

memzilla March 13, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Howzabout somebody delivering a swift, painful-but-not fatal kick in the Newticles to Rep. England? It's OK to wish for that, right?

* looks for more TOS loopholes *

Chichikovovich March 13, 2012 at 1:43 pm

If it's a requirement of your religion, absolutely.

Buzz Feedback March 13, 2012 at 1:18 pm

"Life gives us many experiences …"

But because I'm a male hillbilly who is 40lbs overweight and burdened by a huge panus, low levels of circulating testosterone, and and subsequently, a shrinking dick, I will never get to experience the joy of carrying a dead soul inside my massive being.

I'm leaving that special feeling just for the lady-folk.

Baconzgood March 13, 2012 at 1:19 pm

"Life gives us many experiences"???????

JESUS FUCKIN-CHRIST MAN!!!!!! What the fuck is wrong with you?

Sue4466 March 13, 2012 at 1:45 pm

The most appropriate and reasoned response possible.

Baconzgood March 13, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Thank you. Sometimes you just have to speak from the heart.

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 1:19 pm

This whole kerfuffle would be a non-starter if everyone stuck to oral.

AlterNewt March 13, 2012 at 1:28 pm

"Kerfuffle"? I thought she was saying "I love you".

CogitoErgoBibo March 13, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Every day I think, "This is it. That's the furthest they could possibly go in dehumanizing women." Now we're just breeding stock? I'm not sure drinking will do it for me at this point. Could someone please just hit me over the head with the frying pan in which I'm supposed to be cooking dinner for the hubby, whilst barefoot and pregnant? Seriously. You'd be doing me a favor. I welcome the quiet darkness of sanity and oblivion, however brief.

swordfis March 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm

It's hard not to internalize this (even for a man!) but there's at least one bitter drop of pleasure to be found in objective observation of a man visibly regressing to the mentality and morals of an urangutan.

poncho_pilot March 13, 2012 at 1:20 pm

the wife and i often laugh about women who seem to think of themselves as breeding animals–and their husbands. this isn't nearly as funny as that. more just terribly depressing.

SheriffRoscoe March 13, 2012 at 1:21 pm

"You stop killin babies, I'll stop killin chickens."

Oh my god y'all! They's killin chickens!

edgydrifter March 13, 2012 at 1:21 pm

The dumb cow that birthed Rep. England must be so proud.

finallyhappy March 13, 2012 at 1:21 pm

And people elected this bastard- and will probably elect him again.

Advn2rgirl March 13, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Well, if walking around for half a year with a dead baby inside of me, reminding me of my dashed hopes and dreams, will stop cockfighting, how selfish would I be to refuse?

Maman March 13, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Yeah, what's the risk of sepsis when you could stop men being cruel… what? only for roosters? screw it

Baconzgood March 13, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Now let's be fair on this. We will be adults and have KeepfnThatChicken weigh in on this.

Extemporanus March 13, 2012 at 1:23 pm

WOMEN NEED YOUR HELP!

Georgia's fetus farmers keep pregnant women in crates so small they can't turn around.

TAKE ACTION NOW!

HistoriCat March 13, 2012 at 2:01 pm

But how can the pregnant women cook and clean if they're stuck in those crates?

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Taking human reproductive health advice from a midwife for farm animals is probably not the wisest course to pursue.

Sharkey March 13, 2012 at 1:24 pm

There was this one time a lady actually did give birth to a cow. Her name was Mama Jean Lopez.

Baconzgood March 13, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Georgia. Our East Coast Arizonia.

UnholyMoses March 13, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Arizona = West Florida

Georgia = North Florida

Afghanistan = East Florida

FakaktaSouth March 13, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Here's a thing – I have been preggers 5 times. 3 times I had kids, 2 times whatever was going on with the particular egg and sperm that hooked up didn't work out. Neither time did my body care to realize this so I was one of those that they HAD to go fetch everything out of – if they didn't, I risked awful kinds of infection which could lead to death and whatnot. All I'm saying is thank god for people like this man, otherwise I wouldn't know what a horrible person I am for living to raise the three that were strong enough to make it. I also realize I should now hate whoever came up with the technology we now should outlaw that saved an over-breeder like me. Progress is OBVIOUSLY screwing this guy's right to have me be dead instead of medically treated all up. Sorry dude.

memzilla March 13, 2012 at 1:34 pm

13th Century Morality meets 21st Century Medicine. Two go in, only one comes out.

anniegetyerfun March 13, 2012 at 1:38 pm

YOU ARE SO SELFISH IN YOUR DESIRE TO BE ALIVE.

ttommyunger March 13, 2012 at 1:57 pm

HUSSY!

banana_bread March 13, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Pssh, you are SO selfish. Besides the risk of dying, who doesn't want a stone baby? (warning: terrifying)

vodkamuppet March 13, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Bah!

deanbooth March 13, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Pics or it didn't happen!

(forgive me, please)

Maman March 13, 2012 at 1:25 pm

If we are going to stick with our barnyard references, don't farmers keep the male animals away from the females and the young so they don't fuck up the order of the farm? Or at very least geld them so they make no trouble.

BEGIN!

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 1:25 pm

I would like to tell Mr England Dan Ford Coley's cockfighting pal that I had two chicken abortions, over medium, with my sausage and toast this morning.

FakaktaSouth March 13, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I probably had the abortionist-chicken mom, on my biscuit. But no cheesey grits because, fuck Mitt Romney's fake food.

Goonemeritus March 13, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Listening to NPR during lunch I was treated to a thoughtful discussion on Afghanistan. A guest posited the theory that a country without a national identity can not be successfully governed. I ask you can it be said that former Confederate states by and large share a national identity with the rest of America.

UnholyMoses March 13, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Can it be said?

Yes.

Would that magically make it true?

Not so much.

elviouslyqueer March 13, 2012 at 2:00 pm

My entire dissertation is riding on that question. And the short answer is "No."

Chet Kincaid March 13, 2012 at 2:41 pm

"And if you lose, the devil gits yer soooul!!!"

MissTaken March 13, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Does this mean my fetusfighting ring is no longer illegal? I've been busy sharpening the fingernails on these feti for weeks getting them ready for some fightin' to the death!

Chet Kincaid March 13, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Great idea! We could also monetize conception with some gambling. "I'm puttin' a double sawbuck on that little swimmer there to reach the endzone!!"

swordfis March 13, 2012 at 2:30 pm

pix or gtfo

RadioStalingrad March 13, 2012 at 1:27 pm

He also added: "And why should we have to pay for these maternity services? Next thing you know we will have mandated Veterinary insurance. For the first 150 years of this great nation there were no maternity wards or baby killing Ob-Gyn's. Yet the nation prospered and those very same people worked their way through the Industrial Age and into the 20th century. Of course midwifery, and not washing your hands, and delivering babies in a barn isn't for everybody, because we want the freedom to choose, but let's not forget our Lord and Saviour was born in a manger. Mr. Speaker I yield my time to the gentleman from Dumass County."

SorosBot March 13, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Yep, women are livestock. That is what these cretins really think. Fuck.

MissTaken March 13, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Nah, I'm sure these fuckheads treat their livestock better than they treat their womenfolk.

SorosBot March 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm

That's true; their livestock is valuable property there, while they can always go get a new wife for the cleaning and the incubation of their seed.

chicken_thief March 13, 2012 at 1:28 pm

"…you know, farm animals (pigs, cows, and chickens, specifically) sometimes deliver babies that don’t make it,…"

Terry, Terry, Terry. Hate to be the one to break it to you, dude, but 100% of the cows you sire are going to be still born. And that's a good thing. The world simply is not ready for a England/Guernsey hybrid.

Chet Kincaid March 13, 2012 at 1:29 pm

"Terry England, Animal Husband", Thursday Nights at 8 Eastern on The Discovery Channel.

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Does that come on right after "The Fetus Whisperer?"

Chet Kincaid March 13, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I don't think this is what they mean by "just lie back and think of England."

Chichikovovich March 13, 2012 at 1:50 pm

OK, crew! We can shut down the thread now!

Chet Kincaid March 13, 2012 at 1:53 pm

You are too kind!

SheriffRoscoe March 13, 2012 at 1:31 pm

For my wonket brothers and sisters at work and unable to view the video, you really can't get the full effect of this by reading the text. You really need to hear the words, the southern accent, the talk of delivering pigs, to get the full experience.

Swampgas_Man March 13, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Mmmmnope, ain't gonna do it.

Chet Kincaid March 13, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Oh, this is gonna go WAY viral.

Exhausted66 March 13, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Is it against the new commenting rules to wish death upon myself?

poncho_pilot March 13, 2012 at 1:37 pm

i think it's ok here. it's not Craigslist or Facebook.

Swampgas_Man March 13, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Can I wish sterilization on the entire damned human race? Between Cletus here and the "Burn, heretic, burn!" letters to the editor in my local fishwrap, I don't want to be on this planet anymore.

CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY!

DemmeFatale March 13, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Is that a herd of women stampeding on their way to voting for Obama?

zedbot March 13, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Today, we're all slutty farm animals.

Chet Kincaid March 13, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Hoof-In-Mouth Disease.

Barrelhse March 13, 2012 at 1:42 pm
mavenmaven March 13, 2012 at 1:43 pm

"Babies born without brains are worthwhile, look how well I've done, for example"

anniegetyerfun March 13, 2012 at 1:43 pm

That's right, ladies! Cows handle this kind of thing with aplomb, patiently awaiting an authoritative man to come along and shove his hand right up in her business, delivering her dead gift from Jeebus. Why can't you be more like the cows?

chascates March 13, 2012 at 1:45 pm

American women should simply withhold sex from male partners until their reproductive rights are guaranteed by a Constitutional amendment. All the closeted gay Republicans wouldn't be effected but they'd get the drift.

Edit update: I imagine people knew I meant 'withhold' rather than 'without'. Damned Alzheimers.

fartknocker March 13, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I have nothing to add other than Wonkette should get some Webby Award for Best Selection of Clip Art because the picture of the cow perfectly matches this story.

anniegetyerfun March 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Woah, selfish AND a temptress? This has GOT to stop.

Slim_Pickins March 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Why the picture of Rush at the top of this post?

kissawookiee March 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I seem to remember Nevada Republicans being urged to stockpile chickens as legal tender for healthcare. What's the poultry-pill exchange rate these days? Can chickens be used for abortions only if they have razor spurs strapped on, and the procedure takes place in a sawdust pit? I haz a confused.

Chet Kincaid March 13, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Here is an excerpt from Terry England's "Animal Husbandry 101" CD-ROM, "Chapter 3: How To Make Love To Your Bull":
http://www.vivo.colostate.edu/hbooks/pathphys/rep

HelmutNewton March 13, 2012 at 1:53 pm

I'm guessing England's wife is going to make him sleep in the barn tonight. Hell, he probably prefers it that way…

Kidneys4Sale March 13, 2012 at 1:55 pm

What's the over/under on how many times this dude went elbow deep to make sure his kids were properly positioned?

hagajim March 13, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Well ladies….the ball is in your court. What ya gonna do when the hillbilly legislator pools ya'll into the same pen as the livestock?

Chichikovovich March 13, 2012 at 1:56 pm

You know, I keep thinking that the probable consequences for Republicans of this obsession with denying women birth control, slut-shaming, treating women like livestock, etc…. reminds me of something.

Then when this post came up, I thought "Hmm,….Colville,…. farm animals, … Colville, farm animals..That's it!"
http://canadianarthistory.wikispaces.com/file/vie

ttommyunger March 13, 2012 at 2:00 pm

England? Sounds pretty Soshalist to me. Terry? Sounds kinda ghey. Terry England? Sounds kind of Assholish. A ghey socialist asshole? Sounds like a southern politician to me. My work here is done.

Doktor Zoom March 13, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Not that it would actually persuade the moron of anything, but should anyone want to email Rep. England this link to Bridget Potter's award-winning essay "Lucky Girl, to remind him of just what it is he wants us to return to, it might at least be emotionally satisfying to the sender.

philpjfry March 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Wow just an amazing story. I want to email it to every young girl I know so they realize how lucky they are, at least for now.

FakaktaSouth March 13, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Of course since I'm slutty, by boring I mean the married part instead of rando orgy with blindfolded stranger part not the sex part, cause woowee we would not be knocked up so much if'n it t'weren't so so so good for ya – and if I were better at taking the damn slut pills, but I digress. SEX SEX SEX! YAY! (see? I totes deserve to die)
I also take issue with the rhythm method though, cause God know what's really in your heart and why you're doing it – and – WHO taught WOMEN how to count???

blitzgal March 13, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I know someone whose very wanted baby died in utero. She had to carry it for another several weeks before her doctor could schedule her D&C. This asshole has no idea the kind of emotional trauma that causes. Fuck him.

Chet Kincaid March 13, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Terry England faps with Bag Balm®.
http://www.bagbalm.com/cows.htm

Antispandex March 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Laying the snark aside for a minute here, why do you women put up with this shit?

Troglodeity March 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

A Republican legislator is actually promoting a law to require women with fetuses KNOWN TO BE ALREADY DEAD to carry them to delivery – because "life gives us many experiences."

I'm sure American women appreciate the opportunities for all these new "experiences" offered by the GOP: stillbirths, transvaginal ultrasounds …

Redhead March 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm

A – it's not a baby, and it's not a pawn that you can somehow use to justify controlling women's bodies

B- cows don't have opposible thumbs. Makes the sandwich-makin' awfully hard. Plus they tend to knock stuff over in the kitchen.

Nesnora March 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Fine, but lets have a rubber-band amendment in there for the men cattle too.

dsgruntled March 13, 2012 at 4:09 pm

In Georgia a man who raises chickens for cock-fighting is considered salt of the earth….explains alot doesn't it.

Ducksworthy March 13, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Old news. We have known for some time now that many members of the Georgia State Legislature are incapable of distinguishing between farm animals and human women, inf cact they're proud of this. .

horsedreamer_1 March 13, 2012 at 9:21 pm

We say we're living Idiocracy, but this is direct from Tom Wolfe's Man in Full.

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