stopped clock and et cetera

Washington Post Columnist Richard Cohen Calls Sarah Palin and Entire GOP Stupid Ignorant Liar

You can tell I'm lying because my mouth is open!You guys, I’m worried about Richard Cohen. You used to be able to count on the man to bring his A-game to vapid columns of wishy-washy meh. But last week, he urinated on Ghost Andrew Breitbart, and now he’s jumping up and down screaming obviously true things about America’s Sweetheart and Supreme Leader of the Dark Lord’s Army Sarah Palin! Pull up a chair, and let’s have a look-see!

With her selection as John McCain’s running mate, American politics lost its way — and maybe its mind as well.

The movie portrays Palin as an ignoramus. She did not know that Queen Elizabeth II does not run the British government, and she did not know that North and South Korea are different countries. She seemed not to have heard of the Federal Reserve. She called Joe Biden “O’Biden” and she thought America went to war in Iraq because Saddam Hussein, not al-Qaeda, had attacked on Sept. 11, 2001. Not only did she know little, but she was determinately incurious and supremely smug in her ignorance.

At the same time, she was a liar.

You will not get an argument from Wonkette, Richard Cohen! But Grampa, tell us about the time Palin’s selection ruined Republican politics!

Apres Palin has come a deluge of dysfunctional presidential candidates. They do not lie with quite the conviction of Palin, but they are sometimes her match in ignorance. As with Palin, it seemed hardly to matter. Herman Cain for a while was a front-runner. He had a nonsensical tax plan, zero knowledge of foreign affairs and had never held elective office. Yet, for a brief but terrifying moment, many Republicans were saying he should be the next president of the United States.

[...]

Rick Santorum knows his stuff, but his stuff includes a wild denunciation of John F. Kennedy’s famous speech about the proper role of religion in public life and a characterization of President Obama as a snob for extolling the value of college. Newt Gingrich has the wattage to be president, but so does Hannibal Lecter, if you get my drift. As for Ron Paul, he appears to be running for president of some theme park.

Cohen promises that if Dems are really good, they can learn the same lesson Republicans have:

Since Palin, though, ignorance has become more than bliss. It’s now an attribute, an entire platform: Vote for me, I know nothing and hate the same things you do.

So you guys, has Richard Cohen had a stroke, or is it like one of those Jim Carrey movies (every Jim Carrey movie for the past 12 years)? Enquiring minds want to know! [Washington Post]

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About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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160 comments

    1. DaniloTifoso

      Nearly identical to my first thought when I read this.

      'SUN RISES IN THE EAST. FILM AT ELEVEN.'

    1. HateMachine

      Yeah, but just the one acorn every now and then is nothing impressive. Onion-on-belt Cohen seems to have tripped and fallen onto a big old sack of nuts.

    2. oldedinvn

      Blind rodents (could not think of hoe to spell sqiurreless) are taken care of by evolution.

  1. Barrelhse

    Richard (Don't Call Me DICK!) Cohen seems to be having a crisis. Perhaps he's thinking of his legacy and trying to pad the resume?

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      The ongoing insanity of the GOP is slowly penetrating into the consciousness of formerly-hard-core conservatives. I'm waiting for Bill O'Reilly to come out and finally declare himself fed up with the lunacy. You know he's thinking it; it's just a question of when he'll go public.

  2. elviouslyqueer

    Newt Gingrich has the wattage to be president, but so does Hannibal Lecter, if you get my drift. As for Ron Paul, he appears to be running for president of some theme park.

    I… I… WOW. This made me so hard that my boyfriend is going to be very, very happy for about 2 1/2 weeks.

    1. Terry

      Ron Paul running a theme park? Can you imagine paying for admission, snacks, and souvenirs with gold bars?

    2. HateMachine

      2.5 weeks? 4 hours is supposed to be redlining it already, Elv. I'm afraid your priapism may be terminal.

        1. NorthStarSpanx

          EQ, what makes you think Washington Post subscribers should pay for your sex drive?

          harumph harumph

  3. slithytoves

    I read that article today and was wondering if there is some new medication for senility that has made it to human subjects. Good news!

  4. memzilla

    Richard Cohen is merely commenting on what happens when you base your entire political strategy on appealing to the White Jeebustan vote.

  5. hagajim

    but she was determinately incurious and supremely smug in her ignorance

    That's not news to most of us. But I am glad Richard pointed it out so the rejects of the GOP can now turn their slut and whore comments toward him…in 3 – 2 – 1…

  6. BaldarTFlagass

    "She did not know that Queen Elizabeth II does not run the British government, and she did not know that North and South Korea are different countries. She seemed not to have heard of the Federal Reserve. She called Joe Biden “O’Biden” and she thought America went to war in Iraq because Saddam Hussein, not al-Qaeda, had attacked on Sept. 11, 2001. "

    Nice start. But I guess if he had listed all her stupidities, he would have had to get a book deal, rather than just write a column.

    1. Terry

      Then they can make a list of all the things she's done or said that prove she's mean as cat shit.

  7. bureaucrap

    I have to think, Rebecca, that Cohen's becoming more substantive and your signing on with wonkette are not merely coincidental. Cohen knew you would rip him a new one if he persisted in his seemingly congenital vapidity.

  8. actor212

    Newt Gingrich has the wattage to be president, but so does Hannibal Lecter, if you get my drift. As for Ron Paul, he appears to be running for president of some theme park.

    As much as I often wish Cohen would STFU&GO, these are pretty good. He could have left "if you get my drift" off and it would have been even funnier.

    1. JustPixelz

      "Newt Gingrich has the wattage to be president"

      He's the "smart" one*. And in last place. Stick to your guns and your bibles Go-Pee'ers.
      _______________________
      * I think he's a fucking idiot who can only think at the bumper sticker level. Also no integrity.

        1. Biff

          My new business plan is to introduce grifters to benefactors. Even at the low 3% rate from both parties, I'ma be RICH!

    2. oldedinvn

      If Newt has the wattage to be president, Jeffrey Dahlmer has the ingredients.
      Anyone can be as stupid as Cohen.

  9. Redhead

    100% off topic but I just needed to comment on this – http://watchdogs.blogs.starnewsonline.com/19718/n

    A North Carolina county board of commissioners voted to turn down GRANT MONEY that would go to directly purchase IUDs for local women – because they didn't like spending taxpayer money "to fund someone's irresponsibility" and saying "If these young women were responsible people and didn’t have the sex to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this situation."

    Don't read the local comments (which amount to "family planning" is code for planned parenthood which is an abortion factory, even though this GRANT directly purchases the IUDs, and ignore the fact that men have a part in the baby-makin' as well). Then there's the commissioners argument that women ONLY use IUDs when they're too irresponsible for the pill (nevermind the fact that many women choose IUDs because they have no/much lower amounts of hormones, or that they are actually MUCH cheaper over 5-10 years than the pill). No, it comes down to a board of all men saying that if women can't "be responsible" they shouldn't be able to have birth control paid for with "tax payer" (grant money). Holy fucking Christ on a cracker. Sharia law is here, folks, and Limbaugh (and his wannabes) are leading the way.

    1. Blueb4sunrise

      I didn't see a 'Your move Arizona' in the other thread either.
      Things are moving along in committees. There are exceptions if….

      …women who want payment for those contraceptives can be required to first pay for the prescription and then submit a claim to the company "along with evidence that the prescription is not in whole or in part" to prevent pregnancy.

      http://azstarnet.com/news/local/govt-and-politics

      Edit : From the comments….
      Janet

      I just bought a bumper sticker that says, "If you want to cut off my reproductive options, can I cut off yours?"

    2. oldedinvn

      Limbaugh is not leading the way. They have won.
      Check out the money they took to arm the police & buy tanks also too.

      1. Mumbletypeg

        You were typing! Myself, the craziest things happen while I'm typing to load a comment. Work not getting done, chores not getting completed…
        That, &/or the rapid-fire pace at which Wonkette is cranking out stories is, like the recent time-change, throwing everyone off just a bit.

      2. BaldarTFlagass

        Well, you still got 6 replies, which is more than any other comment on this thread has thus far. 7, now.

      3. memzilla

        Next time, just refresh your browser first. There's a lot more stories on Teh Wonkete now that Editrix has instituted her new Type or Die wage policy.

        1. Redhead

          I think that's the problem – I looked, didn't see it, hit refresh – and saw this at the top (not realizing that two or three had been posted since I hit refresh).

          Oh well. I'll go get more hookers-n'-blow-I-mean-coffee now.

  10. DaRooster

    "As for Ron Paul, he appears to be running for president of some theme park."

    He's going to be head Oompa Loompa at The Chocolate Factory.

    1. actor212

      I could see him being a pickle vendor at a Renaissance Festival.

      Maybe the court jester, but he'd be the worst fucking court jester ever, all those lectures about the gold standard…

  11. Mumbletypeg

    "Not only did she know little, but she was determinately incurious and supremely smug in her ignorance."
    Q.E.D., Mr. Cohen. Unless you really have been asleep for the past 3 1/2 years.

    1. oldedinvn

      Unlike "HER", I cherish my ignorance of shit I don't not care for too.
      Had I runneded for somethin, I might have checked it out.

  12. SorosBot

    "or is it like one of those Jim Carrey movies (every Jim Carrey movie for the past 12 years)?"

    So two weeks ago, did he learn the true lesson of Leap Dave Williams? It was a Leap Day miracle!

  13. memzilla

    The real fun part is going to be in Cocktober and Blowvember, when Rmoney starts trying to backwalk all the stupid things he's had to say to get the Jeebustan vote, and gets confronted with the all the videos of what he's said.

    1. jqheywood

      And who is going to confront him with them? The media? Really? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah….

  14. Oblios_Cap

    The GOP must have really pissed Cohen off. It's like that clot that was stopping the flow of blood to his brain finally broke loose and he's able to think clearly now.

    1. SorosBot

      Quick, send some young whippersnapper with tattoos to get on his long; that will bring back the grouchy old man we all know and, well, disdain.

  15. Oblios_Cap

    Since Palin, though, ignorance has become more than bliss. It’s now an attribute, an entire platform: Vote for me, I know nothing and hate the same things you do.

    Especially dark-skinned presidents.

  16. fredbell

    Add to the list the fact that she thought South Africa was not a country but the region in southern Africa…And the Joe O'Biden thing is totally, totally true — no matter much she says otherwise…When I was 7 back in 1969, I thought Roberto Clemente's name was Roberto O'Clemente and I thought Lucille Ball (as announced at the beginning of the "Here's Lucy" show") was Lucy O'Ball…So I am convinced this imbecile thought the same thing about Biden, when she was 44….

    1. metamarcisf

      You write that comment one more time and your ass is headed to federal-pound-me-in-the-ass prison.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Actually, I think this is a very subtle "Santorum" joke. Santorum knows his "stuff", get it?

  17. donner_froh

    After months of listening to candidates debase themselves more and more in order to appeal to the mouth-breathers of the "base", Richard Cohen wakes up.

    Not exactly finding the cave empty after three days but miraculous enough for 2012.

  18. WiscDad

    Uhh…I understand why he is on the stump on this. I'm half his age (kinda) and feel the same way he does. The ignorance of the American electorate is fucking unbelievable and has the full support of politicians, on both sides. The same goes for the vitriol in political discourse. The hatred starts at the top and becomes the status quo for the masses. Trickle down theory I guess applies to a lot of things. The more bullshit they blind ya with the more bullshit they can get away with. Day's comin' folks are going to get wise…and we'll have American Spring.

    1. Barrelhse

      You are an optimist, although I think you highly over-estimate the intellect of the average voter.

  19. KeepFnThatChicken

    Newt Gingrich has the wattage to be president, but so does Hannibal Lecter, if you get my drift.

    Kinda edgy for the Post, ennit? In contrast to them saying things about Sarah now that we all knew then, maybe the edgy tone is supposed to help reboot their journamalisms.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      I'm looking forward to Newt complaining about how some editorial said something mean about him.

  20. actor212

    I think the reason is more prosaic than that: Hiatt took him aside and said "Look, we have enough hippie punchers and your column gets zip hits anyway, so why don't you take on Palin and Paul and let's see how that goes, mmmmK, Sally?"

  21. Callyson

    "It’s now an attribute, an entire platform: Vote for me, I know nothing and hate the same things you do."
    And now I am relieved of the duty of watching the 2012 GOP convention. Not sure how the body snatchers got to Cohen, but thank God they did, and I hope they stay there.

  22. Lucidamente1

    You know how sometimes you find a tennis ball at the dog run that is so filthy that your pooch won't even pick it up to retrieve it? Methinks Snowbilly Grifter is too much even for Fido Cohen.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      mrblifil:

      That's exactly what I was thinking! Good news that Dick Cohen came to his senses – or scary bad news that it took four fuckin' years?

  23. freakishlywrong

    Nah, he's still full of "both sides" bullshit juice: Surely, though, there lurks in the Democratic Party potential candidates who have seen Palin and taken note. Experience, knowledge, accomplishment — these no longer may matter. They will come roaring out of the left proclaiming a hatred of all things Washington, including compromise.

    1. actor212

      I really find this bit funny, as if somehow we've fielded a single candidate in Palin-stupid territory since, I don't know, foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

      Meanwhile, there are two STILL RUNNING in the GOP primaries this year alone.

  24. zedbot

    "Lady Thatcher will not be seeing Sarah Palin. That would be belittling for Margaret. Sarah Palin is nuts."

    1. MegPasadena

      Especially now we know that Palin doesn't even know who Lady Thatcher is.
      Who? What? Prime minister? But then who is the queen?

    1. HuddledMass

      Thank you! I'm tired of playing grammar/lexicography Nazi – I pass my crown (and riding cro) to you.

  25. ingloriousbytch

    This is like watching a birthing film. "Come on Richard…push! You can do it! I know it hurts but when all this is over you're going to have a beautiful baby consciousness that will be with you forever. Now take a deep breath and give me one more good, hard, push on three! One….two….PUUUUUUSSSSH!!"

  26. BlueStateLibel

    I see this as nothing more than evolution in progress – a Repub like Richard Cohen is developing critical reasoning ability! Perhaps one day he and the rest of his species will be as smart as my border collie.

    1. actor212

      Nonsense! Clearly this is simply a matter of rote learning. Any paramecium learns to stay away from electric shocks, and here's a prime example.

  27. Chichikovovich

    Yes, Richard, it is tragic that the party of "I was there when the camps were liberated" Reagan and "There is a connection between al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein" Bush II should have become hijacked by pathologically lying ignorant morons. How could such an inexplicable turn of events occurred?

  28. carlgt1

    so we're all supposed to give him journalistic credibility for reporting the blatantly obvious four years too late?

  29. actor212

    BTW, Becca, I never get tired of that photo. Palin always kind of reminded me of a mynah bird who couldn't shut the fuck up, and this picture perfectly captures that spirit.

    1. Fukui-sanYesOta

      It scares me because she really, really looks like my Aunt in that photo, and I like my Aunt.

  30. prommie

    Cohen has clearly gotten into the ether. I am certain that the WP management has teams stalking him, right now, with a tranquilizer gun, because this is a catastrophe, what has happened, and it must be stopped immediately, at all costs, or the Post's reputation will be ruined forever, for the Post is the US equivalent of the Soviet Izvestia. The role of Izvestis is explained in the old joke, the USSR had two major newspapers, Pravda (which means "truth") and Izvestia (which means "news"), and it was often said "There is no news in The Truth, and no truth in The News." The truth is not permitted in the WP, and Cohen will pay a heavy price for contaminating the paper with truth.

  31. Eve8Apples

    GOP is getting what it deserves. The GOP has dismissed science, has trashed the importance of education and intellectual curiosity, and has dismantled public education and programs such as head start. It is left with a base of ignorant clowns. When it put one of those ignorant backward clowns on its presidential ticket, it sent a message that stupid people have what it takes to run the country. So now you are stuck with a group of ignorant clowns at the top of your ticket and a bunch of backward hicks cheering them on. Keep fuckin' that chicken GOP!

  32. CogitoErgoBibo

    Newt Gingrich has the wattage to be president, but so does Hannibal Lecter, if you get my drift.

    Wow. So that's how he gained all that weight! Guess he wasn't just eating shrimp with those grits, ya'll.

  33. glamourdammerung

    McCain lies with a great deal of conviction as well. I find it funny in an odd way that the media conservatives are turning the knives on Palin and the current GOP primary performance art show in part to save face for McCain and the rest of the party. I do not think these pundits would have the same public disdain for the primary opponents if all the current morons in the running for the "White Guy Obama Beats In November" contest were up for election on anything else.

  34. littlebigdaddy

    "As for Ron Paul, he appears to be running for president of some theme park." I am trying to decide if that would be a fun or terrifying place to visit.

  35. Chet Kincaid

    So, he had to see a movie about this 4 years after the fact for this information to sink into his numbskull? This was all covered in thousands of articles and a couple of books 3 years ago, not to mention the horror of the events as they unfolded in real time.

  36. FakaktaSouth

    I still 100% blame Steve Schmidt and John McCain – she is an incredibly vapid and horribly misinformed person, but she ain't stupid. She was smart enough to grab the opportunity and cash in on a position she absolutley had NO RIGHT to have ever had a shot at. There are QUALIFICATIONS for EVERY job and what those guys did was give her a chance to apply for employment so far beyond her capabilities it STILL scares me, and the Republicans, with their vast crowds of amazingly, self righteously, willfully ignorant masses have kept her around as a representative voice. She is what she is – as are they. Suck it.

  37. An_Outhouse

    You know what makes a good pundit? Accurately predicting the ramifications of decisions when they are being made, not several years later when it has been apparrent to everybody already.

  38. Millennial Malaise

    Ugh, do not be fooled! Richard Cohen "found religion" on the Iraq War about 3 years after it started. Like a broken clock, Cohen is going to be right at least twice a decade.

  39. proudgrampa

    To be fair, Sarah wasn't the first stupid, lying VP candidate.

    e.g., "potatoe-head" Quayle

  40. owhatever

    She's not that ignorant, said a rightwing friend of mine after watching the movie. A penetrating statement.

  41. BarackMyWorld

    As for Ron Paul, he appears to be running for president of some theme park.

    Come on folks, that's brilliant.

  42. KeepFnThatChicken

    oh, I would fap all over that. I desperately miss Spy…

    …and maybe that wasn't the right word, anyway. I guess "edgy" would be to write things that gives Jigsaw ideas.

  43. imissopus

    Meh, he still wrote this last paragraph:

    So far, the Palin effect has been limited to the GOP. Surely, though, there lurks in the Democratic Party potential candidates who have seen Palin and taken note. Experience, knowledge, accomplishment — these no longer may matter. They will come roaring out of the left proclaiming a hatred of all things Washington, including compromise. The movie had it right. Sarah Palin changed the game.

    That's just ridiculous. The nutbars the GOP has run this cycle arose because the party as a whole has moved so far to the right. Does anyone see the Dems moving further left? It's not even close. A leftist who ran as Cohen posits would not go anywhere in the Democratic Party. But he has to throw in the old equivalency, lest people stop inviting him to cocktail parties or Fred Hiatt calls him into his office for a spanking.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Bingo.

      Too, by going hard after Palin, Dicky can give double to Obama when the Co-Dog inevitably endorses the GOP nominee, over "jobs" & "gas prices".

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