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Every woman in North Carolina ever.Good morning, New Hanover County, North Carolina! How’s things? Oh you got a $9,000 grant for womyn’s health, no strings (or matching funds) attached? HOW NICE FOR YOU! That must come in handy these days, with the budget situations everywhere and all! My, isn’t it great when government comes through! Oh, but you do not want the grant, because women are irresponsible whores? Oh.

Chairman Ted Davis said he thought it was a sad day when “taxpayers are asked to pay money to buy for contraceptives” for women having sex without planning responsibly.

“If these young women were responsible people and didn’t have the sex to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this situation,” Davis said.

Commissioner Jonathan Barfield said he was “one of those abstinence guys” and agreed with Davis’ comment.

Well, who isn’t an abstinence guy, and who doesn’t agree with Davis’s comment, that women who go to a doctor for contraceptives are being irresponsible in going to a doctor for contraceptives? No one, that’s who! The grant would have paid for medical services related to family planning including physician’s consultation, examination, prescription, continuing supervision, laboratory examination and contraceptive supplies. Better luck next time, hookers! [StarNewsOnline, via Wonkette operative “SayItWithWookies”]

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  • ChernobylSoup

    I'm sure NC, the home of many military bases, has never seen an STD case. Ever.

    • DaiMacculate

      Well I'd be pretty surprised if Cumberland County turned down any kind of public funding for women's health. New Hanover County filled with stupid olds who want to die near the ocean.

    • Guppy

      STDs are always the woman's fault.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Wheels on Fire.

    • poncho_pilot


  • elviouslyqueer

    Man, Willow Palin is looking mighty fetching in that photo. Just sayin'.

    • CapnFatback

      It's funny because she's non-"r"! (Allegedly.)

  • Schmannnity

    I see Sarah Palin has decided to campaign roadside.

    • DaRooster

      Musta just pulled her car off the side of the road…

  • frostbitefalls
  • DCBloom

    Does the shame ever end for those of us living in NC?

    • dijetlo

      Oh suck it up, lil trooper. The Florida legislature is in session, salvation is at hand.

      • DCBloom

        Wanna hear something really sad? I live in NC, but I'm from Florida

        • dijetlo

          Do you have a suicide buddy yet?

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          I went to college/law school in NC, moved to FL and now live in VA. I have passed the bar in all 3 states. I am cursed with the deep knowledge that the laws and legislatures of all 3 of those states are just batshit crazy. We need a support group.

          • DCBloom

            This IS my support group! Just knowing there are others….

            Demme has a point….. better to be in NC than Az. or Texas.

  • johnnyzhivago

    I don't know any hookers in North Carolina, but I do have a few billionaire friends down there who know some.

    • poncho_pilot

      they've never hired a hooker but they know the pimp?

      • actor212

        Hedge fund managers and pimps are the same thing. You think they know the hired help they're going to fire when they become too old and saggy bloated and inefficient?

        • poncho_pilot

          none of them, Katie.

  • wakkumph

    Man, all of North Carolina has to share $9,000?

    • DaRooster

      Just doubled the state's budget.

    • actor212

      Why not? They share cousins.

  • CapnFatback

    Commissioner Jonathan Barfield said he was “one of those abstinence guys”

    "By choice. Definitely by choice. Yeah, man, I'm, uh, choosin' it."

    • Callyson

      Do you have any idea what working girls charge these days? Barfield can't afford not to choose abstinence.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Glad to see the N.C. GOP (aka Women for Obama) out in full force on the issues that really matter.

  • prommie

    Just wow. Holy shit.

  • memzilla

    Douchebags belong on the shower curtain rod, not in government.

  • SorosBot

    Idiot, getting contraception when you don't want to be stuck forming a babby is planning responsibly and being a responsible person.

    • hagajim

      Babby? So that's how they speel it in North Carolina…I was wondering.

  • realmurkin

    I like how he calls it "the sex".

    • SideshowSlob

      that's wrongly transcribed; it was pronounced "teh'

      • Midway117

        All the Sex, Katie.

  • WhatTheHolyHeck

    They must have gotten confused.

    It's "hormones," NC legislators, not "whore moans."

    • memzilla

      Yes. The difference between an enzyme and a hormone is, you can't hear an enzyme.

  • FakaktaSouth

    When when when did this become about the tax payers? I have NO MONEY donated to my Blue Cross account from ANY of you people. I would take it, because I'm kind of a socialist, but at this point, when I did NOT get the Public Option and we do NOT have Universal Healthcare, how come I am being treated like we do? Can you really make false premise laws now?

  • CapnFatback

    You know, I'm really going to have to write down the names of some of these places; apparently, contrary to my experience, there are pockets of women out there who just can't stop having sex.

    • actor212

      Yea, but they're all married or gay. Or married AND gay now…

  • elviouslyqueer

    “If these young women were responsible people and didn’t have the sex to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this situation,” Davis said.

    Oh I see. Because young men are always responsible people who carefully weigh all their options and engage in much soul-searching before whipping out their dicks and engaging in sexytime.

    • CapnFatback

      No no, a dick is not "whipped out." It is cautiously proffered.

    • DCBloom

      I see you have never been to NC

    • DaRooster

      I remember one time after a gig… I was pretty buzzed and I was wrought with conflicting feelings about whether or not that drunk gal in the leather skirt and low cut top was really the one…

      • actor212

        Was that before or after your zip slipped?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Can't you be responsible by having sex and using contraception? Is that too dvanced a concept for these asshats?

      • HistoriCat

        Why must you make Kathryn Jean Lopez sad??

  • Mumbletypeg

    Commissioners Catlin, Davis, Barfield:
    Instead of routing your disdain of women from your contempt for that Original Scarlet "Eve,"
    you ungrateful conservatwits should be thanking Eve for giving you a paradigm to base this perpetual maligning of your opposite sex, furnishing your pathology for scapegoat-tactics and misdirecting your male-based insecurities in ignorance of our need for gender balance.
    Without Eve to blame, you'd have no one left but yourselves.

  • actor212

    In fairness to Davis, $9,000 won't buy many contraceptives but will buy a lot of hookers and blow.

  • x111e7thst

    I'd hit that

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Commissioner Jonathan Barfield said he was “one of those abstinence guys”…."

    Probably not by choice.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Hey, is that our new editrix in the pic? I'm liking her more and more.

    • Tundra Grifter

      I was going to ask if that's a high school yearbook pic.

      • Puffperney

        Yes it is, the Nat'l Lampoon version.

        • Tundra Grifter


          All things considered, that remains the funniest thing I ever read in my life.

          Did you ever notice how much of that was used in the classic "Animal House?"

  • Eve8Apples

    Hey, North Carolina ladies or sluts or tramps — whatever you're called — can we just agree that "abstinence guys" never get anywhere near female sex organs again, forever and ever, as long as they live?

  • Jus_Wonderin

    WTF? Where is my sexy time? Seems like everybody and his brother is having sex!

    • dijetlo

      Seems like everybody and his brother is having sex!

      You're thinking of West Virginia

  • Not_So_Much

    Bet Jonathan and Ted aren't all abstinence-y with each other…

  • prommie

    Thats from Reno 911, right?

  • freakishlywrong

    Who do these mouth-breathers think the sluts are having the sex with?

    • Chichikovovich

      Healthy, red-blooded all-American boys, just having a little fun sowing their wild oats before they settle down with a moral virgin from their church group.

    • Jerri

      Other sluts.

      • doloras

        If so THEY WOULDN'T NEED CONTRACEPTION, except perhaps a condom to keep the dildo clean.

    • actor212

      All of them, Katie

  • BaldarTFlagass

    “If these young women were responsible people and didn’t have the sex to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this situation,”

    Let me guess: New Hanover County schools only teach abstinence-only.

    • spends2much

      And 50% of the Grade 8 girls are probably pregnant. But, of course, that is as it should be, since that's what ladies are for, right North Carolina! Remember, kids:
      Have the kid out of wedlock= whore; get an abortion= murdering whore; marry some 17 year old, have the kid, and work at Pizza Hut for the rest of your life= Upstanding American Citizen!

  • Eve8Apples

    God damn it, Mom. You're gonna catch pneumonia dressed like that. Would you PLEASE put on your scarf and mittens before you go outside and work the highway.

  • hagajim

    “If these young women were responsible people and didn’t have the sex to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this situation,” Davis said.

    And Ted, if your Momma never had sex we wouldn't have to listen to your dumb ass pontificate about shit you obviously no absolutely nothing about. Stupid fucking hick!

  • Z Crudmonger

    Seeing as how Davis just underwent heart surgery, I can understand how he would see having sex as irresponsible, for himself.

    • poncho_pilot

      but the cocaine is still ok. Bible don't say nothin' 'bout cocaine.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    for women having sex without planning responsibly.

    You…you unutterable shitheel, you cognitively bogged retread, you stupid fuck that makes other stupid fucks shake their heads…

    Contraception IS planning responsibly.

    • proudgrampa

      "You…you unutterable shitheel, you cognitively bogged retread, you stupid fuck that makes other stupid fucks shake their heads… "

      Best putdown ever. May I borrow? U da bomb!
      Love, proudgrampa

      • Dashboard Buddha

        Help yourself. I'd be honored.

    • MegPasadena

      He must have confused contraception with abortion. You see, he is only a man. How do you expect him to know all these woman things.

  • John Birf Society

    Silly libruls, stop blaming men. These slutty women are obviously having immaculate sexytime at our expense!

  • Goonemeritus

    If these young women were responsible people and didn’t have the sex to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this situation,” Davis said.

    Are there no men involved in these alleged sex acts because that seems to work pretty well in the family planning department?

  • fartknocker

    This is just one more preview of what life will be like under the reign of President Rick Santorum. Fuck women's health but make damn sure you buy stock in medical equipment manufacturers of sonograms and vaginal probes.

  • HelmutNewton

    "Commissioner Jonathan Barfield said he was “one of those abstinence guys” and agreed with Davis’ comment."

    The story continues, "Davis nodded his agreement as he reached hands under the table with Barfield and smiled knowingly."

  • dijetlo

    When the Republicans said they had a jobs plan, I didn't realize they meant blow jobs.

  • SorosBot

    It's weird that he's only talking about the young women – up to a certain point, middle aged women need birth control of some sort too. What about the married couples, many of whom already have children, that don't want more kids? Whether it's the pill, a vasectomy or a tubal ligation, they need some way of preventing pregnancy too you know.

    But the woman-haters just try to focus on young women who they call "sluts" for actually having the audacity to admit they have a sex drive.

  • Goonemeritus

    BTW it’s great seeing that picture of my 9th grade English teacher again; I hope she is doing well.

  • Naked_Bunny

    “If these young women were responsible people and didn’t have the sex to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this situation,” Davis said.

    Does this apply to insurance coverage of other healthcare-related issues involving recreational activities, like bowling, or golfing, or eating beef?

    If not, then it's just pure hatred of women.

  • donner_froh

    While I know as much about women's birth control products as the next guy (nothing) don't IUDs always have strings attached?

  • Chichikovovich

    And (also repeating – though it can't be repeated enough) they save money (or at least – don't lose money) by doing so, since contraceptive coverage is relatively inexpensive and hospital childbirth/maternity care/infant care are spectacularly expensive that it makes good business sense to help people in the insurance plan avoid unwanted pregnancies. So even the other people in the insurance pool aren't paying. If anything, people are paying extra in the companies that don't offer contraceptive coverage.

  • mrblifil

    needs moar rape wands

  • Callyson

    Jonathan Barfield said he was “one of those abstinence guys”
    To the considerable relief of Mrs Barfield, if she exists…

    • Z Crudmonger

      Mrs Barfield did have something to say: "Democrat Jonathan Barfield, expressed his regret on Facebook hours after the commission meeting “I’m getting a good lesson from my wife right this minute on the error of my vote,” he reportedly wrote.“I just interviewed with WECT as I cited the error of my vote. I don’t have the right to choose for any woman,”

  • Mr Pre-Press

    whats the BTU for an unleaded dingleberry, anyway?

  • FlownOver
  • littlebigdaddy

    Is that our editrix? Because, wow.

  • Z Crudmonger

    Ah, there's a twist in the wind. Glad to hear none of my tax munnies will be feeding the gaping maw of the military, because of the first amendment, of course.

  • SorosBot

    *sigh* Once again, those purposes are not immoral. Those purposes violate their religion's rules, which is a completely different thing; it's what they consider sinful or taboo, but that deals with religion, not morality; the two have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with each other. Sometimes the two may converge, as with the rule "though shall not kill" and killing generally morally wrong; they may work in different fields, as in this religious rule against contraception which causes no harm and therefore cannot be immoral; and sometimes they work against each other, as when the Bible states that if god orders genocide, you must obey that order, even though it's one of the most vile, evil things a people can do.

  • Lynne

    If these young women get all "moral" and responsible and abstinent, the little boys had better run for their lives!

  • poorgradstudent

    The responsible choice is having your mother raise the baby and claim that you're the baby's older sister, duh. Ask Jack Nicholson.

  • Unfairman

    I read the first line of the block quote, and I hung my head and closed my eyes. I read the second part, and I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. I read the third part, and all I could do was cry.

  • Redhead

    I think the most depressing thing is people arguing (on the comments there, and on the paper's facebook page) that "The word 'family planning' is now a coy word for clinics like Planned Parenthood who's primary service is abortions," and "‎"Family planning" = abortion."

    Even though this grant money was going to go to the local health department to purchase IUDs (to, you know, help decrease the need for abortions at a much lower cost than the pill – you're talking, what, $400 for ten years as opposed to what, $50 a month for the pill?)

  • Kakkeltje

    Abstinence guy will be found in compromising position with prostitute/young boy/sheep in 3…2…1…

  • proudgrampa

    I know I've said this already, in another thread. Why are we still in the 19th Century???

    BTW. That girl is HAWT!

  • LesBontemps

    Chairman Ted Davis said he thought it was a sad day when “taxpayers are asked to pay money to buy for contraceptives” for women having sex without planning responsibly.

    “If these young women were responsible people and didn’t have the sex to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this situation,” Davis said.

    Fuckin' contraceptives, how do they work?

  • DahBoner

    I hear banjo music…

  • kissawookiee

    Is the takeaway here that if a woman isn't dead from exhaustion or set upon by catamounts because she's slowed down by the delicious prolapsed uterus she's dragging behind her like so much catamount chum, she's clearly not sexing responsibly because SEX = BABBIES ALWAYS ALSO TOO?

  • joobajooba

    I kinda doubt many employers would "opt out," given that they ultimately want people to work for them. Not to mention that with a women now the majority of college graduates, they are becoming the majority of the educated work force. Some major employers are already providing insurance coverage, for example, for same-sex partners, because it's in their own corporate selfish interest to do so. So maybe the whole argument is largely phony from the start.

  • Puffperney

    Yes, its those women with their overpowering sex drives that are causing all this.

    These guys cannot get elected without some women voting for them; that is the saddest part for me.

  • GunToting[Redacted]


  • Abernathy

    Commissioner Jonathan Barfield said he was “one of those abstinence guys.”

    That makes total sense, if "abstinence" is a new codeword for "rent boys" or "truck stop hookers who really need the cash."

  • Abernathy

    I always forget that part of the 1st Amendment; I guess I'm too busy seeing some imaginary "separation of church and state" instead.

  • owhatever

    We will not tolerate healthy women in our community.

  • ttommyunger

    "Commissioner Jonathan Barfield said he was “one of those abstinence guys” ….Yeah, Johnathan, me too, sometimes for months on end, but I never once considered bragging about it. WTF?

  • Nostrildamus

    Sounds like Ted Davis in just advocating for anal.

  • barto

    They will consider a grant to rent that Tranny out for the evening, however.

  • SiameseCatLady

    Hey you stupid jerks – keep it up. Just keep doing what you're doing. If you have wives (and if so, my condolences to them) you may be able to still get sex from them. However, you will never get sex from anyone else – ever. After all, women aren't supposed to h ave sex outside of marriage and then only for procreation, right? You guys better get busy cleaning up all the sperm you've left all over your office and car…hahahaha!

  • lochnessmonster

    Only works if the men folks keep the zippers zipped!

  • GreatChristiano

    Well now wouldn't it streamline things further if the doctor provided the sex also? – A one-stop shop!

  • GregComlish

    Yeah I was one of those abstinence guys in HS. Fortunately on the night of my graduation my girlfriend decided to put out. We parked in an emptyish colt-a-sac and then got in on in the back seat of my Dad's Nissan Sentra.

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