GIMME SOME OF THAT OLD-TIME RELIGION  10:29 am March 13, 2012

New Hanover County, NC, Wants a Piece of That Popular ‘Womyn Are Slutty’ Act

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Every woman in North Carolina ever.Good morning, New Hanover County, North Carolina! How’s things? Oh you got a $9,000 grant for womyn’s health, no strings (or matching funds) attached? HOW NICE FOR YOU! That must come in handy these days, with the budget situations everywhere and all! My, isn’t it great when government comes through! Oh, but you do not want the grant, because women are irresponsible whores? Oh.

Chairman Ted Davis said he thought it was a sad day when “taxpayers are asked to pay money to buy for contraceptives” for women having sex without planning responsibly.

“If these young women were responsible people and didn’t have the sex to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this situation,” Davis said.

Commissioner Jonathan Barfield said he was “one of those abstinence guys” and agreed with Davis’ comment.

Well, who isn’t an abstinence guy, and who doesn’t agree with Davis’s comment, that women who go to a doctor for contraceptives are being irresponsible in going to a doctor for contraceptives? No one, that’s who! The grant would have paid for medical services related to family planning including physician’s consultation, examination, prescription, continuing supervision, laboratory examination and contraceptive supplies. Better luck next time, hookers! [StarNewsOnline, via Wonkette operative "SayItWithWookies"]

 
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{ 115 comments }

ChernobylSoup March 13, 2012 at 10:33 am

I'm sure NC, the home of many military bases, has never seen an STD case. Ever.

DaiMacculate March 13, 2012 at 10:54 am

Well I'd be pretty surprised if Cumberland County turned down any kind of public funding for women's health. New Hanover County filled with stupid olds who want to die near the ocean.

Guppy March 13, 2012 at 11:34 am

STDs are always the woman's fault.

DerrickWildcat March 13, 2012 at 10:34 am

Wheels on Fire.

poncho_pilot March 13, 2012 at 10:45 am

win!

elviouslyqueer March 13, 2012 at 10:34 am

Man, Willow Palin is looking mighty fetching in that photo. Just sayin'.

CapnFatback March 13, 2012 at 11:07 am

It's funny because she's non-"r"! (Allegedly.)

Schmannnity March 13, 2012 at 10:34 am

I see Sarah Palin has decided to campaign roadside.

DaRooster March 13, 2012 at 10:41 am

Musta just pulled her car off the side of the road…

frostbitefalls March 13, 2012 at 10:34 am

Here's Rep Nina Clark, heroine and funny person talking about the Viagra bill. http://video.msnbc.msn.com/jansing-and-co/4670645

DCBloom March 13, 2012 at 10:35 am

Does the shame ever end for those of us living in NC?
*weeps*

dijetlo March 13, 2012 at 10:46 am

Oh suck it up, lil trooper. The Florida legislature is in session, salvation is at hand.

DCBloom March 13, 2012 at 10:53 am

Wanna hear something really sad? I live in NC, but I'm from Florida

dijetlo March 13, 2012 at 10:58 am

Do you have a suicide buddy yet?

CogitoErgoBibo March 13, 2012 at 11:49 am

I went to college/law school in NC, moved to FL and now live in VA. I have passed the bar in all 3 states. I am cursed with the deep knowledge that the laws and legislatures of all 3 of those states are just batshit crazy. We need a support group.

DCBloom March 13, 2012 at 3:29 pm

This IS my support group! Just knowing there are others….

Demme has a point….. better to be in NC than Az. or Texas.

johnnyzhivago March 13, 2012 at 10:35 am

I don't know any hookers in North Carolina, but I do have a few billionaire friends down there who know some.

poncho_pilot March 13, 2012 at 10:46 am

they've never hired a hooker but they know the pimp?

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 11:19 am

Hedge fund managers and pimps are the same thing. You think they know the hired help they're going to fire when they become too old and saggy bloated and inefficient?

poncho_pilot March 13, 2012 at 11:36 am

none of them, Katie.

wakkumph March 13, 2012 at 10:35 am

Man, all of North Carolina has to share $9,000?

DaRooster March 13, 2012 at 10:42 am

Just doubled the state's budget.

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 11:42 am

Why not? They share cousins.

CapnFatback March 13, 2012 at 10:36 am

Commissioner Jonathan Barfield said he was “one of those abstinence guys”

"By choice. Definitely by choice. Yeah, man, I'm, uh, choosin' it."

Callyson March 13, 2012 at 11:13 am

Do you have any idea what working girls charge these days? Barfield can't afford not to choose abstinence.

Allmighty_Manos March 13, 2012 at 10:36 am

Glad to see the N.C. GOP (aka Women for Obama) out in full force on the issues that really matter.

prommie March 13, 2012 at 10:36 am

Just wow. Holy shit.

memzilla March 13, 2012 at 10:37 am

Douchebags belong on the shower curtain rod, not in government.

SorosBot March 13, 2012 at 10:37 am

Idiot, getting contraception when you don't want to be stuck forming a babby is planning responsibly and being a responsible person.

hagajim March 13, 2012 at 10:51 am

Babby? So that's how they speel it in North Carolina…I was wondering.

realmurkin March 13, 2012 at 10:38 am

I like how he calls it "the sex".

SideshowSlob March 13, 2012 at 11:11 am

that's wrongly transcribed; it was pronounced "teh'

Midway117 March 13, 2012 at 1:36 pm

All the Sex, Katie.

WhatTheHolyHeck March 13, 2012 at 10:38 am

They must have gotten confused.

It's "hormones," NC legislators, not "whore moans."

memzilla March 13, 2012 at 10:44 am

Yes. The difference between an enzyme and a hormone is, you can't hear an enzyme.

FakaktaSouth March 13, 2012 at 10:38 am

When when when did this become about the tax payers? I have NO MONEY donated to my Blue Cross account from ANY of you people. I would take it, because I'm kind of a socialist, but at this point, when I did NOT get the Public Option and we do NOT have Universal Healthcare, how come I am being treated like we do? Can you really make false premise laws now?

CapnFatback March 13, 2012 at 10:39 am

You know, I'm really going to have to write down the names of some of these places; apparently, contrary to my experience, there are pockets of women out there who just can't stop having sex.

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 10:40 am

Yea, but they're all married or gay. Or married AND gay now…

elviouslyqueer March 13, 2012 at 10:39 am

“If these young women were responsible people and didn’t have the sex to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this situation,” Davis said.

Oh I see. Because young men are always responsible people who carefully weigh all their options and engage in much soul-searching before whipping out their dicks and engaging in sexytime.

CapnFatback March 13, 2012 at 10:41 am

No no, a dick is not "whipped out." It is cautiously proffered.

DCBloom March 13, 2012 at 10:44 am

I see you have never been to NC

DaRooster March 13, 2012 at 10:45 am

I remember one time after a gig… I was pretty buzzed and I was wrought with conflicting feelings about whether or not that drunk gal in the leather skirt and low cut top was really the one…

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 11:21 am

Was that before or after your zip slipped?

Oblios_Cap March 13, 2012 at 11:10 am

Can't you be responsible by having sex and using contraception? Is that too dvanced a concept for these asshats?

HistoriCat March 13, 2012 at 11:37 am

Why must you make Kathryn Jean Lopez sad??

Mumbletypeg March 13, 2012 at 10:40 am

Commissioners Catlin, Davis, Barfield:
Instead of routing your disdain of women from your contempt for that Original Scarlet "Eve,"
you ungrateful conservatwits should be thanking Eve for giving you a paradigm to base this perpetual maligning of your opposite sex, furnishing your pathology for scapegoat-tactics and misdirecting your male-based insecurities in ignorance of our need for gender balance.
Without Eve to blame, you'd have no one left but yourselves.

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 10:40 am

In fairness to Davis, $9,000 won't buy many contraceptives but will buy a lot of hookers and blow.

x111e7thst March 13, 2012 at 10:40 am

I'd hit that

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 10:41 am

"Commissioner Jonathan Barfield said he was “one of those abstinence guys”…."

Probably not by choice.

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 10:41 am

Hey, is that our new editrix in the pic? I'm liking her more and more.

Tundra Grifter March 13, 2012 at 11:41 am

I was going to ask if that's a high school yearbook pic.

Puffperney March 13, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Yes it is, the Nat'l Lampoon version.

Tundra Grifter March 13, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Pp:

All things considered, that remains the funniest thing I ever read in my life.

Did you ever notice how much of that was used in the classic "Animal House?"

Eve8Apples March 13, 2012 at 10:42 am

Hey, North Carolina ladies or sluts or tramps — whatever you're called — can we just agree that "abstinence guys" never get anywhere near female sex organs again, forever and ever, as long as they live?

Jus_Wonderin March 13, 2012 at 10:42 am

WTF? Where is my sexy time? Seems like everybody and his brother is having sex!

dijetlo March 13, 2012 at 10:49 am

Seems like everybody and his brother is having sex!

You're thinking of West Virginia

Not_So_Much March 13, 2012 at 10:43 am

Bet Jonathan and Ted aren't all abstinence-y with each other…

prommie March 13, 2012 at 10:44 am

Thats from Reno 911, right?

freakishlywrong March 13, 2012 at 10:47 am

Who do these mouth-breathers think the sluts are having the sex with?

Chichikovovich March 13, 2012 at 11:08 am

Healthy, red-blooded all-American boys, just having a little fun sowing their wild oats before they settle down with a moral virgin from their church group.

Jerri March 13, 2012 at 11:14 am

Other sluts.

doloras March 13, 2012 at 7:54 pm

If so THEY WOULDN'T NEED CONTRACEPTION, except perhaps a condom to keep the dildo clean.

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 11:21 am

All of them, Katie

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 10:48 am

“If these young women were responsible people and didn’t have the sex to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this situation,”

Let me guess: New Hanover County schools only teach abstinence-only.

spends2much March 13, 2012 at 12:05 pm

And 50% of the Grade 8 girls are probably pregnant. But, of course, that is as it should be, since that's what ladies are for, right North Carolina! Remember, kids:
Have the kid out of wedlock= whore; get an abortion= murdering whore; marry some 17 year old, have the kid, and work at Pizza Hut for the rest of your life= Upstanding American Citizen!

Eve8Apples March 13, 2012 at 10:48 am

God damn it, Mom. You're gonna catch pneumonia dressed like that. Would you PLEASE put on your scarf and mittens before you go outside and work the highway.

hagajim March 13, 2012 at 10:49 am

“If these young women were responsible people and didn’t have the sex to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this situation,” Davis said.

And Ted, if your Momma never had sex we wouldn't have to listen to your dumb ass pontificate about shit you obviously no absolutely nothing about. Stupid fucking hick!

Z Crudmonger March 13, 2012 at 10:49 am

Seeing as how Davis just underwent heart surgery, I can understand how he would see having sex as irresponsible, for himself.

poncho_pilot March 13, 2012 at 10:52 am

but the cocaine is still ok. Bible don't say nothin' 'bout cocaine.

Dashboard Buddha March 13, 2012 at 10:49 am

for women having sex without planning responsibly.

You…you unutterable shitheel, you cognitively bogged retread, you stupid fuck that makes other stupid fucks shake their heads…

Contraception IS planning responsibly.

proudgrampa March 13, 2012 at 12:15 pm

"You…you unutterable shitheel, you cognitively bogged retread, you stupid fuck that makes other stupid fucks shake their heads… "

Best putdown ever. May I borrow? U da bomb!
Love, proudgrampa

Dashboard Buddha March 13, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Help yourself. I'd be honored.

MegPasadena March 13, 2012 at 12:29 pm

He must have confused contraception with abortion. You see, he is only a man. How do you expect him to know all these woman things.

John Birf Society March 13, 2012 at 10:51 am

Silly libruls, stop blaming men. These slutty women are obviously having immaculate sexytime at our expense!

Goonemeritus March 13, 2012 at 10:52 am

If these young women were responsible people and didn’t have the sex to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this situation,” Davis said.

Are there no men involved in these alleged sex acts because that seems to work pretty well in the family planning department?

fartknocker March 13, 2012 at 10:53 am

This is just one more preview of what life will be like under the reign of President Rick Santorum. Fuck women's health but make damn sure you buy stock in medical equipment manufacturers of sonograms and vaginal probes.

HelmutNewton March 13, 2012 at 10:54 am

"Commissioner Jonathan Barfield said he was “one of those abstinence guys” and agreed with Davis’ comment."

The story continues, "Davis nodded his agreement as he reached hands under the table with Barfield and smiled knowingly."

dijetlo March 13, 2012 at 10:55 am

When the Republicans said they had a jobs plan, I didn't realize they meant blow jobs.

SorosBot March 13, 2012 at 10:55 am

It's weird that he's only talking about the young women – up to a certain point, middle aged women need birth control of some sort too. What about the married couples, many of whom already have children, that don't want more kids? Whether it's the pill, a vasectomy or a tubal ligation, they need some way of preventing pregnancy too you know.

But the woman-haters just try to focus on young women who they call "sluts" for actually having the audacity to admit they have a sex drive.

Goonemeritus March 13, 2012 at 10:56 am

BTW it’s great seeing that picture of my 9th grade English teacher again; I hope she is doing well.

Naked_Bunny March 13, 2012 at 11:07 am

“If these young women were responsible people and didn’t have the sex to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this situation,” Davis said.

Does this apply to insurance coverage of other healthcare-related issues involving recreational activities, like bowling, or golfing, or eating beef?

If not, then it's just pure hatred of women.

donner_froh March 13, 2012 at 11:10 am

While I know as much about women's birth control products as the next guy (nothing) don't IUDs always have strings attached?

Chichikovovich March 13, 2012 at 11:13 am

And (also repeating – though it can't be repeated enough) they save money (or at least – don't lose money) by doing so, since contraceptive coverage is relatively inexpensive and hospital childbirth/maternity care/infant care are spectacularly expensive that it makes good business sense to help people in the insurance plan avoid unwanted pregnancies. So even the other people in the insurance pool aren't paying. If anything, people are paying extra in the companies that don't offer contraceptive coverage.

mrblifil March 13, 2012 at 11:17 am

needs moar rape wands

Callyson March 13, 2012 at 11:19 am

Jonathan Barfield said he was “one of those abstinence guys”
To the considerable relief of Mrs Barfield, if she exists…

Z Crudmonger March 13, 2012 at 11:58 am

Mrs Barfield did have something to say: "Democrat Jonathan Barfield, expressed his regret on Facebook hours after the commission meeting “I’m getting a good lesson from my wife right this minute on the error of my vote,” he reportedly wrote.“I just interviewed with WECT as I cited the error of my vote. I don’t have the right to choose for any woman,”
http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/03/nc-cou

Mr Pre-Press March 13, 2012 at 11:44 am

whats the BTU for an unleaded dingleberry, anyway?

FlownOver March 13, 2012 at 11:44 am
littlebigdaddy March 13, 2012 at 11:55 am

Is that our editrix? Because, wow.

Z Crudmonger March 13, 2012 at 11:56 am

Ah, there's a twist in the wind. Glad to hear none of my tax munnies will be feeding the gaping maw of the military, because of the first amendment, of course.

SorosBot March 13, 2012 at 12:00 pm

*sigh* Once again, those purposes are not immoral. Those purposes violate their religion's rules, which is a completely different thing; it's what they consider sinful or taboo, but that deals with religion, not morality; the two have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with each other. Sometimes the two may converge, as with the rule "though shall not kill" and killing generally morally wrong; they may work in different fields, as in this religious rule against contraception which causes no harm and therefore cannot be immoral; and sometimes they work against each other, as when the Bible states that if god orders genocide, you must obey that order, even though it's one of the most vile, evil things a people can do.

Lynne March 13, 2012 at 12:00 pm

If these young women get all "moral" and responsible and abstinent, the little boys had better run for their lives!

poorgradstudent March 13, 2012 at 12:05 pm

The responsible choice is having your mother raise the baby and claim that you're the baby's older sister, duh. Ask Jack Nicholson.

Unfairman March 13, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I read the first line of the block quote, and I hung my head and closed my eyes. I read the second part, and I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. I read the third part, and all I could do was cry.

Redhead March 13, 2012 at 12:13 pm

I think the most depressing thing is people arguing (on the comments there, and on the paper's facebook page) that "The word 'family planning' is now a coy word for clinics like Planned Parenthood who's primary service is abortions," and "‎"Family planning" = abortion."

Even though this grant money was going to go to the local health department to purchase IUDs (to, you know, help decrease the need for abortions at a much lower cost than the pill – you're talking, what, $400 for ten years as opposed to what, $50 a month for the pill?)

Kakkeltje March 13, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Abstinence guy will be found in compromising position with prostitute/young boy/sheep in 3…2…1…

proudgrampa March 13, 2012 at 12:19 pm

I know I've said this already, in another thread. Why are we still in the 19th Century???

BTW. That girl is HAWT!

LesBontemps March 13, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Chairman Ted Davis said he thought it was a sad day when “taxpayers are asked to pay money to buy for contraceptives” for women having sex without planning responsibly.

“If these young women were responsible people and didn’t have the sex to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this situation,” Davis said.

Fuckin' contraceptives, how do they work?

DahBoner March 13, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I hear banjo music…

kissawookiee March 13, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Is the takeaway here that if a woman isn't dead from exhaustion or set upon by catamounts because she's slowed down by the delicious prolapsed uterus she's dragging behind her like so much catamount chum, she's clearly not sexing responsibly because SEX = BABBIES ALWAYS ALSO TOO?

joobajooba March 13, 2012 at 12:58 pm

I kinda doubt many employers would "opt out," given that they ultimately want people to work for them. Not to mention that with a women now the majority of college graduates, they are becoming the majority of the educated work force. Some major employers are already providing insurance coverage, for example, for same-sex partners, because it's in their own corporate selfish interest to do so. So maybe the whole argument is largely phony from the start.

Puffperney March 13, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Yes, its those women with their overpowering sex drives that are causing all this.

These guys cannot get elected without some women voting for them; that is the saddest part for me.

GunToting[Redacted] March 13, 2012 at 1:37 pm

*sniff…*

Abernathy March 13, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Commissioner Jonathan Barfield said he was “one of those abstinence guys.”

That makes total sense, if "abstinence" is a new codeword for "rent boys" or "truck stop hookers who really need the cash."

Abernathy March 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I always forget that part of the 1st Amendment; I guess I'm too busy seeing some imaginary "separation of church and state" instead.

owhatever March 13, 2012 at 2:03 pm

We will not tolerate healthy women in our community.

ttommyunger March 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

"Commissioner Jonathan Barfield said he was “one of those abstinence guys” ….Yeah, Johnathan, me too, sometimes for months on end, but I never once considered bragging about it. WTF?

Nostrildamus March 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Sounds like Ted Davis in just advocating for anal.

barto March 13, 2012 at 3:12 pm

They will consider a grant to rent that Tranny out for the evening, however.

SiameseCatLady March 13, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Hey you stupid jerks – keep it up. Just keep doing what you're doing. If you have wives (and if so, my condolences to them) you may be able to still get sex from them. However, you will never get sex from anyone else – ever. After all, women aren't supposed to h ave sex outside of marriage and then only for procreation, right? You guys better get busy cleaning up all the sperm you've left all over your office and car…hahahaha!

lochnessmonster March 13, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Only works if the men folks keep the zippers zipped!

GreatChristiano March 13, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Well now wouldn't it streamline things further if the doctor provided the sex also? – A one-stop shop!

GregComlish March 13, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Yeah I was one of those abstinence guys in HS. Fortunately on the night of my graduation my girlfriend decided to put out. We parked in an emptyish colt-a-sac and then got in on in the back seat of my Dad's Nissan Sentra.

Eve8Apples March 13, 2012 at 10:45 am

They're determined to alienate every voter who is not a white, conservative, evangelical Christian male. I don't understand the strategy, but being a liberal, I support them one thousand percent.

kissawookiee March 13, 2012 at 12:39 pm

If "this year" is inclusive back to 1861, then I fully concur with that assessment.

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