I REMEMBER YOU  10:11 am March 13, 2012

Bachmannite Provocateur Is Preacher Heavy Metal Rap Artist In Iowa Assembly Gone Awry

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

18 and Life.When Dunkerton Community Schools in Iowa paid a reported $1500 to Minnesota-preacher-man-band “Junkyard Prophet,” the money was supposed to buy a high school assembly against bullying and for making good choices. And did it ever! Namely, it gave them firsthand experience with Bullying in the First Degree, and — surprise, public school district! — rather a lot of hard-right Christianism in the girls-are-sluts-who-must-obey-their-husbands and also the ever-popular fags-die veins. But new reporting (i.e., a note from Wonkette operative “Kate”) shows the lead actor in what has become a good old-fashioned community-wide WTF? is Bachmannite and previous Wonkette BFF Bradlee Dean!

Rad 90s dude.But who is this onetime Sebastian Bach lookalike, with all his layers of Sexy? Well Dean once threatened to sue Rachel Maddow for $50 million for “defaming” him by reading a full quote of his calling for the execution of homosexuals. He has a blog that is … somewhat unstructured? Here, have a sample from his latest post — just last Friday! — tantalizingly called “Hate Crimes — Bigotry in Reverse.”

Hate Crimes! Hate crimes! The homosexual radicals are trying to push an illegal agenda through hate crimes, not understanding that all crime is motivated by hate. What is this really about? And who’s doing the hating?
[...]
This explains the Matthew Shepard distorted “hate crimes” law, which has been exposed by ABC’s 20/20 as having nothing to do with Matthew’s sexual orientation. This also explains the supposed “anti-bullying” policy being shoved down students’ throats in public schools, like it or not.

It seems fair to assume Dunkerton Community Schools did not check Dean’s blog, which is a veritable treasure box of sanity and taste. Oh well. Better luck next time, Dunkerton, Iowa! [WCF Courier/City Pages]

 
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{ 80 comments }

CapnFatback March 13, 2012 at 10:16 am

HATE SOUNDS COOLER WHEN IT'S LOUD!!!1!

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 10:30 am

MY HATE'S COOLER THAN YOURS!!!!!!!11!

Swampgas_Man March 13, 2012 at 1:37 pm

IT'S GOT A GOOD BEAT AND I CAN DANCE TO IT!!1

horsedreamer_1 March 13, 2012 at 8:07 pm

You are a like breed to me.

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 10:17 am

Here we go with the "shoved down the throat" meme. What is it these people?

Pres.Beeblebrox March 13, 2012 at 10:18 am

Ramming. cramming, shoving down the throat…. ftw!

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 10:19 am

In fairness to Dean, I'm thinking that happened to him with alarming frequency in the showers in high school gym

elviouslyqueer March 13, 2012 at 10:32 am

He's wearing a Penn State jersey and basketball shorts that reveal the spider's web of tattoos that crawl up and down his arms and legs.

Your lips to G*d's ears, actor.

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 10:36 am

I said that without even investigating. Wow.

chicken_thief March 13, 2012 at 11:00 am

I wanna know what lesbian he stole that plaid shirt with the cut off sleeves from.

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 11:23 am

Larry the Cable Guy

Fukui-sanYesOta March 13, 2012 at 10:22 am

He looks like he's had a lot of doughnuts shoved down his throat.

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 10:28 am

Please. He's quasi-military so it's a "jelly delivery system, deep fried"

elviouslyqueer March 13, 2012 at 10:42 am

If by "doughnuts" you mean "9-inch beer-can penises," then yes.

Doktor Zoom March 13, 2012 at 10:27 am

I propose that whenever some wingnut uses that line, the only appropriate response would be

Ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up yer poopchute!
Ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up yer poopchute!

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 10:29 am

Wristwatch.
Crisco.

doloras March 13, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Keep it greasy so it'll go down easy.

DCBloom March 13, 2012 at 10:18 am

hmmm…. he's awfully pretty for someone so afraid of teh gays

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 10:21 am

Hell, if he'd grown tits on his back and shaved his ass, I'd-a probably done him, back in my Navy days.

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 10:29 am

So THAT'S why they warned me not to drop the soap around you!

SorosBot March 13, 2012 at 10:18 am

"This also explains the supposed “anti-bullying” policy being shoved down students’ throats in public schools"

Man, the wingnuts really love that "shoved down our throat" metaphor; and something about this Azl Rose wannabe's obsession with gay people makes me suspect he secretly wants something shoved down his throat.

redarmyzombie March 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

And other parts of the anatomy, no doubt.

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 10:18 am

I wonder where that guy got the dogtags he's wearing. Probably not from any military service.

DaRooster March 13, 2012 at 10:23 am

Definite "Friendly Fire" candidate.

DerrickWildcat March 13, 2012 at 10:19 am

I can tell you that this shit would have never happened in Purdy, Iowa.

Doktor Zoom March 13, 2012 at 10:29 am

I'd love to be an orthodontist there. Then all my ads would say "You've got a real Purdy mouth."

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 10:20 am

This is what happens when a county is desperate enough to name itself after a breakfast treat.

Pres.Beeblebrox March 13, 2012 at 10:20 am

Not exactly Prof. Harold Hill from Gary, Indiana, is he?

DaRooster March 13, 2012 at 10:20 am

"…not understanding that all crime is motivated by hate…"

Yeah, like hate of starving to death and hate of being stuck behind someone doing 20 in a 55 and hate of not being stoned and hate of being told I can't own a weapon ('cuz of tea-bag type freaks) due to something stupid I did 27 years ago…

AbandonHope March 13, 2012 at 10:24 am

No kidding — what simpleton thinks all crime is motivated by hate? Hell, the majority of crime is motivated by the combination of ambivalence and greed.

SorosBot March 13, 2012 at 10:42 am

Well the only crimes I ever committed were drinking before I turned 21 and smoking pot a handful of times – yep, that was totally motivated by hate, and not because getting drunk and high are fun.

Doktor Zoom March 13, 2012 at 10:30 am

Me, I have a deep-seated hatred of crosswalks.

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 10:37 am

NIAGARA FALLS!

Slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwly I turned, step by step….

Doktor Zoom March 13, 2012 at 10:43 am

On the other hand, when I'm doing criminal record checks on participants in family court cases, it does seem that whenever someone has a whole string of parking tickets, somewhere near the bottom of the file check it will turn out there's a misdemeanor Battery conviction…

DaRooster March 13, 2012 at 10:49 am

Prolly decided stalking is better than actually being there.

memzilla March 13, 2012 at 10:22 am

Again with the down-the-throat shoving. What is with these people's fixation with this?

(I'm guessing it has nothing to do with the bi-labial fricative)

Z Crudmonger March 13, 2012 at 10:23 am

"The homosexual radicals are trying to push an illegal agenda through hate crimes, not understanding that all crime is motivated by hate. "

When I pass someone on the right it's because I have a radical homosexual agenda. Or a fast bike, either works.

Dashboard Buddha March 13, 2012 at 10:25 am

a fast bike

Is this what you modern kids calling it these days?

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 10:27 am

There are any number of cremes that will numb you a little.

Dashboard Buddha March 13, 2012 at 10:23 am

Wow…his blog is a steaming pile of suck. Let's simplify…

♫ Daddy's little bigot loves hate crime hate crime ♫

♫ Daddy's little bigot wants faggots dead ♫

Mumbletypeg March 13, 2012 at 10:24 am

This explains the Matthew Shepard distorted “hate crimes” law, which has been exposed by ABC’s 20/20 as having nothing to do with Matthew’s sexual orientation. This also explains the supposed “anti-bullying” policy being shoved down students’ throats in public schools, like it or not.

So when the hapless superintendent of Dunkerton schools originally hired him it was a flubbed misinterpretation that Bradlee was not anti-bully but "anti-ANTI-bullying." Swift move, school admin's*!
/snark off: though in yesterday's story it sounded like they were openly sorry and trying to account for their actions on behalf of their LGBT students — not what I'd imagine their counterparts in TN for example, would have done.

LesBontemps March 13, 2012 at 10:25 am

He got a purty mouth.

Chillatte March 13, 2012 at 10:27 am

Welcome to the jungle, asshole.

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 10:27 am

"Bradlee," particularly with the odd spelling, is a name that does not exactly reek of machismo and/or rampant heterosexuality. Just sayin'.

CapnFatback March 13, 2012 at 10:30 am

But who is this onetime Sebastian Bach lookalike,

Ooh, do you suppose he changes the lyrics of "18 and Life" to "Gay Teen's No Life"?

EatsBabyDingos March 13, 2012 at 10:30 am

This is why Iowa is not allowed to have nice toys.

Fukui-sanYesOta March 13, 2012 at 10:33 am

Oh, this gentleman is a bundle of laughs. Here's Professor Dean on the subject of evolution:

Besides this, Charles Darwin himself didn’t believe his theory would stand up to the light of truth. He said in his book, The Origin of Species, “If it could be demonstrated that an organ exists, which could not have been formed by numerous, successive, slight modifications, my theory would absolutely break down.” If that’s the case, Charlie, what is the basis for any of your theories? There isn’t one.

His counterargument to Darwin's postulate of a proof against his theory is insightful, no? Get this man a Rhodes scholarship!

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 10:38 am

In fairness to Dean, he probably thinks the penis looks odd.

"Everyone else shoves massive manly meat down my throat, but I've got this shriveled-up limp thing! There can't be evolution!"

CapnFatback March 13, 2012 at 11:11 am

GET HIS BAND A ROADIE SCHOLARSHIP!

Fukui-sanYesOta March 13, 2012 at 11:33 am

THIS TIME NEXT YEAR THEY COULD BE PLAYING IN SKULLFUCK, MN!!

Tundra Grifter March 13, 2012 at 11:49 am

Actually, Exhibit "A" would be Bradlee's pathetic little brain.

JustPixelz March 13, 2012 at 10:34 am

What is it about democratically enacted laws that makes some people think of skull fucking? OH WAIT! I think I figured it out. Everything makes them think of skull fucking. We're not so different after all.

Chillatte March 13, 2012 at 10:37 am

So many references…is it me or our Editrix is really trying to tell us that she likes Skid Row?

SorosBot March 13, 2012 at 10:45 am

Well Sebastian Bach was Jesus – in the early 2000s revival of Jesus Christ Superstar, that is.

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 11:24 am

He was also Jekyl & Hyde. I think that's more relevant to Becca.

HelmutNewton March 13, 2012 at 10:37 am

Ah, yet another super-macho straight guy who spends all of his time obsessing about gay sex. And talking with other super-macho straight guys like Rick Santorum about….gay sex!
http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2011/10/rick_s

JustPixelz March 13, 2012 at 10:42 am

"Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness." — John 2:9

"For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself" — Romans 2:1

"But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. … But who are you to judge your neighbor?" — James 4:11

Doktor Zoom March 13, 2012 at 10:43 am

Have you heard him "sing"?

Nopantsmcgee March 13, 2012 at 10:51 am

Shut up sing, bitch. Wait.
Nevermind.
Just shut up.

hagajim March 13, 2012 at 10:59 am

Dunkerton….are we sure its not Drunker Town? Cause they seem kinda shitfaced to me.

WiscDad March 13, 2012 at 11:15 am

Well…whomever the fuckstick that said Junkyard would be a good choice to have at the school should take full responsibility and resign their position if with the school district. They should also pay the school back the money they will never see from demanding the bands refund.

Callyson March 13, 2012 at 11:22 am

all crime is motivated by hate
FFS, that's not even true. This guy has never heard of greed?

upthruster March 13, 2012 at 11:25 am

Bradlee Dean is the poster boy for classic addiction behavior. In his book, he claims to have been addicted to alcohol, then drugs, then women. Anyone want to guess what he's addicted to now? Yep, that would be G….O…..D. Not trying to be libel here, just some people sayin'. Just like any other addict, everyone else is to blame but him for being asshole.

Guppy March 13, 2012 at 11:34 am

Maybe the school appearance was sponsored by Iowa Forward.

Slim_Pickins March 13, 2012 at 11:35 am

Well that was tax money poorly spent, but at least it wasn't my tax money.

Tundra Grifter March 13, 2012 at 11:50 am

Could be worse. They could have wasted the fifteen hundred bucks buying IUD's.

glamourdammerung March 13, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Maybe I am being a bit critical, but I find it odd when self-proclaimed heterosexuals seem to spend hours and hours of their day thinking about gay sex.

proudgrampa March 13, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Methinks thou protest too much.

Redrighthand March 13, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Keep Christ out of metal.

horsedreamer_1 March 13, 2012 at 8:10 pm

Yellow & black attack — Swarm! Swarm!

MegPasadena March 13, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Yes, he is that track suit wearing "preacher", who one time led a prayer at the Minnesota House. Yike.

GortRay March 13, 2012 at 12:50 pm

As always, anyone who devotes that much time to thinking about homersectuals has gotta be gettin' some hard salami, if you know what I mean. Squeal like a pig, boy!

DahBoner March 13, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Is that a man or a woman???

mavenmaven March 13, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Best argument for return of govt funding for school music and arts education. They suck musically aside from their odious message. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dI3Ktkh79EI&fe

Abernathy March 13, 2012 at 1:51 pm

These guys are going to be opening for Santorum soon!

ttommyunger March 13, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Now you jest take them panties right off, boy!

weejee July 9, 2012 at 2:02 pm

The 101st Airborne's screaming eagle weeps. (linky foto)

actor212 March 13, 2012 at 10:34 am

Wingnut welfare trickles down

north_of_moscow March 13, 2012 at 11:56 am

…with a capital T, and that rhymes with G, and that stands for GAY!

horsedreamer_1 March 13, 2012 at 8:08 pm

It's musical theatre, so such a conundrum.

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