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Bachmannite Provocateur Is Preacher Heavy Metal Rap Artist In Iowa Assembly Gone Awry

18 and Life.When Dunkerton Community Schools in Iowa paid a reported $1500 to Minnesota-preacher-man-band “Junkyard Prophet,” the money was supposed to buy a high school assembly against bullying and for making good choices. And did it ever! Namely, it gave them firsthand experience with Bullying in the First Degree, and — surprise, public school district! — rather a lot of hard-right Christianism in the girls-are-sluts-who-must-obey-their-husbands and also the ever-popular fags-die veins. But new reporting (i.e., a note from Wonkette operative “Kate”) shows the lead actor in what has become a good old-fashioned community-wide WTF? is Bachmannite and previous Wonkette BFF Bradlee Dean!

Rad 90s dude.But who is this onetime Sebastian Bach lookalike, with all his layers of Sexy? Well Dean once threatened to sue Rachel Maddow for $50 million for “defaming” him by reading a full quote of his calling for the execution of homosexuals. He has a blog that is … somewhat unstructured? Here, have a sample from his latest post — just last Friday! — tantalizingly called “Hate Crimes — Bigotry in Reverse.”

Hate Crimes! Hate crimes! The homosexual radicals are trying to push an illegal agenda through hate crimes, not understanding that all crime is motivated by hate. What is this really about? And who’s doing the hating?
[...]
This explains the Matthew Shepard distorted “hate crimes” law, which has been exposed by ABC’s 20/20 as having nothing to do with Matthew’s sexual orientation. This also explains the supposed “anti-bullying” policy being shoved down students’ throats in public schools, like it or not.

It seems fair to assume Dunkerton Community Schools did not check Dean’s blog, which is a veritable treasure box of sanity and taste. Oh well. Better luck next time, Dunkerton, Iowa! [WCF Courier/City Pages]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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80 comments

      1. elviouslyqueer

        He's wearing a Penn State jersey and basketball shorts that reveal the spider's web of tattoos that crawl up and down his arms and legs.

        Your lips to G*d's ears, actor.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      I propose that whenever some wingnut uses that line, the only appropriate response would be

      Ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up yer poopchute!
      Ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up yer poopchute!

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Hell, if he'd grown tits on his back and shaved his ass, I'd-a probably done him, back in my Navy days.

  1. SorosBot

    "This also explains the supposed “anti-bullying” policy being shoved down students’ throats in public schools"

    Man, the wingnuts really love that "shoved down our throat" metaphor; and something about this Azl Rose wannabe's obsession with gay people makes me suspect he secretly wants something shoved down his throat.

  2. BaldarTFlagass

    I wonder where that guy got the dogtags he's wearing. Probably not from any military service.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      I'd love to be an orthodontist there. Then all my ads would say "You've got a real Purdy mouth."

  3. DaRooster

    "…not understanding that all crime is motivated by hate…"

    Yeah, like hate of starving to death and hate of being stuck behind someone doing 20 in a 55 and hate of not being stoned and hate of being told I can't own a weapon ('cuz of tea-bag type freaks) due to something stupid I did 27 years ago…

    1. AbandonHope

      No kidding — what simpleton thinks all crime is motivated by hate? Hell, the majority of crime is motivated by the combination of ambivalence and greed.

      1. SorosBot

        Well the only crimes I ever committed were drinking before I turned 21 and smoking pot a handful of times – yep, that was totally motivated by hate, and not because getting drunk and high are fun.

      1. Doktor Zoom

        On the other hand, when I'm doing criminal record checks on participants in family court cases, it does seem that whenever someone has a whole string of parking tickets, somewhere near the bottom of the file check it will turn out there's a misdemeanor Battery conviction…

  4. memzilla

    Again with the down-the-throat shoving. What is with these people's fixation with this?

    (I'm guessing it has nothing to do with the bi-labial fricative)

  5. Z Crudmonger

    "The homosexual radicals are trying to push an illegal agenda through hate crimes, not understanding that all crime is motivated by hate. "

    When I pass someone on the right it's because I have a radical homosexual agenda. Or a fast bike, either works.

  6. Dashboard Buddha

    Wow…his blog is a steaming pile of suck. Let's simplify…

    ♫ Daddy's little bigot loves hate crime hate crime ♫

    ♫ Daddy's little bigot wants faggots dead ♫

  7. Mumbletypeg

    This explains the Matthew Shepard distorted “hate crimes” law, which has been exposed by ABC’s 20/20 as having nothing to do with Matthew’s sexual orientation. This also explains the supposed “anti-bullying” policy being shoved down students’ throats in public schools, like it or not.

    So when the hapless superintendent of Dunkerton schools originally hired him it was a flubbed misinterpretation that Bradlee was not anti-bully but "anti-ANTI-bullying." Swift move, school admin's*!
    /snark off: though in yesterday's story it sounded like they were openly sorry and trying to account for their actions on behalf of their LGBT students — not what I'd imagine their counterparts in TN for example, would have done.

  8. BaldarTFlagass

    "Bradlee," particularly with the odd spelling, is a name that does not exactly reek of machismo and/or rampant heterosexuality. Just sayin'.

  9. CapnFatback

    But who is this onetime Sebastian Bach lookalike,

    Ooh, do you suppose he changes the lyrics of "18 and Life" to "Gay Teen's No Life"?

  10. Fukui-sanYesOta

    Oh, this gentleman is a bundle of laughs. Here's Professor Dean on the subject of evolution:

    Besides this, Charles Darwin himself didn’t believe his theory would stand up to the light of truth. He said in his book, The Origin of Species, “If it could be demonstrated that an organ exists, which could not have been formed by numerous, successive, slight modifications, my theory would absolutely break down.” If that’s the case, Charlie, what is the basis for any of your theories? There isn’t one.

    His counterargument to Darwin's postulate of a proof against his theory is insightful, no? Get this man a Rhodes scholarship!

    1. actor212

      In fairness to Dean, he probably thinks the penis looks odd.

      "Everyone else shoves massive manly meat down my throat, but I've got this shriveled-up limp thing! There can't be evolution!"

  11. JustPixelz

    What is it about democratically enacted laws that makes some people think of skull fucking? OH WAIT! I think I figured it out. Everything makes them think of skull fucking. We're not so different after all.

    1. SorosBot

      Well Sebastian Bach was Jesus – in the early 2000s revival of Jesus Christ Superstar, that is.

  12. JustPixelz

    "Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness." — John 2:9

    "For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself" — Romans 2:1

    "But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. … But who are you to judge your neighbor?" — James 4:11

  13. WiscDad

    Well…whomever the fuckstick that said Junkyard would be a good choice to have at the school should take full responsibility and resign their position if with the school district. They should also pay the school back the money they will never see from demanding the bands refund.

  14. upthruster

    Bradlee Dean is the poster boy for classic addiction behavior. In his book, he claims to have been addicted to alcohol, then drugs, then women. Anyone want to guess what he's addicted to now? Yep, that would be G….O…..D. Not trying to be libel here, just some people sayin'. Just like any other addict, everyone else is to blame but him for being asshole.

  15. MegPasadena

    Yes, he is that track suit wearing "preacher", who one time led a prayer at the Minnesota House. Yike.

  16. GortRay

    As always, anyone who devotes that much time to thinking about homersectuals has gotta be gettin' some hard salami, if you know what I mean. Squeal like a pig, boy!

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