flotus files

Michelle Obama Brags To Child About Fancy Sweet Potato Fries

That's MRS. Flotus to you... According to most people, journalism has seen better days, and as an industry/art form/whatever you want to call it, is really just sending reluctant, furloughed editors to set up subscription booths at the nearest Walgreen’s and hoping for the best. But there are still young people in this country who want to see journalism survive as more than just a thing that helps interpret trending Twitter topics for Olds. There are young people like 11-year-old Topanga Sena, who want to ask the tough questions that aren’t being answered – questions like, “If you, First Lady Michelle Obama, had magical powers, what great gift would you bestow upon your Obese Nation?”

Young Topanga is a reporter for the Scholastic News Kids Press Corps, which is apparently some sort of liberal group that allows lady reporters to wear simple orange polos rather than the standard cleavage shirt and clown-hooker makeup. In a new video of Topanga’s February interview with our FLOTUS, she questions the First Lady about the federal government’s control of bake sales, something weighing heavily on the minds of elementary school children everywhere.

Obama told Topanga Sena, a young Scholastic News reporter, that ‘Let’s Move!’ is “not about having government tell people what to do, because government doesn’t have all the answers.”

“I don’t believe in absolute ‘no’s’ to anything, because that wouldn’t make life fun,” Obama told Sena. “What would life be without the bake sale, right?”

Conservative pundits and outlets such as the Drudge Report reported last year that Obama wanted to ban French fries in restaurants after the parent company of Olive Garden and Red Lobster announced that it was working on creating healthier options for its children’s menus. The first lady addressed the controversy by talking about her love of French fries.

Here is that important part of the video where Michelle Obama addresses her love of french fries, and also brags about the elitist (and Muslim and communist) “healthy” fries served at the White House.


About the author

Blair Burke obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move and fashion decision for Wonkette's The FLOTUS Files feature, which appears here every Monday.

View all articles by Blair Burke
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    1. valthemus

      You can serve sweet potato fries with salt and olive oil as a side dish or dust them with cinnamon and sugar for afters. Either way, I love 'em.

    2. Negropolis

      I really want to like them, and have tried them from a number of different establishments, but can't get into them. They've either been completely flavorless (so why not just have plain fries, then), or really gummy.

  1. Tundra Grifter

    "Topanga?" I don't want to dog an 11-year old kid, and it certainly isn't a child's fault this is the name her parents selected, but are daughters these days being named after famous canyons?

    Are there so many people on the fact of this earth we've flat out run out of names?

    Who knew?

      1. Tundra Grifter


        You are, of course, quite correct. It is a pretty name.

        Bristol and Piper I'm not so wild about. Willow is nice enough. If you're a tree.

          1. SorosBot

            A lesbian Jewish science nerd witch – can't believe Sarah named her kid after one of those.

      2. SoBeach

        I get a kick out of the crazy names certain ethnic groups come up with for their children. Whenever you read about a "Hunter", a "Dylan", a "Sierra", or a "Courtney" getting busted you just know what neighborhood they came from.

        1. Tundra Grifter


          A friend of mine met a couple with a baby named "Cutty." When asked about it, they responded "Yes – her name is Cutty Sark. That's what we were bombed on the night she was conceived."

          Some years later I met a gentleman with a son named Hennessy.

          I didn't ask…

          1. Tundra Grifter


            That reminds me of the scene from the great movie "Blue Collar" where Richard Pryor tries to convince an IRS agent all his deductions for numerous dependents are legitimate and introduces the kids from the neighborhood as his.

            "This is Malcolm X. Brown, this is Martin Luther King, Jr., Brown, this is H. Rap Brown…"

  2. BaldarTFlagass

    "Sweet" potatoes implies the presence of sugar. Well, high fructose corn syrup, anyway.

  3. Mumbletypeg

    FLOTUS: “What would life be without the bake sale, right?”

    I was waiting for the good part, when this "Let's Move!" champion got them on their feet to preach the good news of the "Shake N' Bake Sale." Raising those needed school funds with the passion of a thousand line-dancers and sending donors home with a high-carb treat for their hard booty-shaking work.

  4. Callyson

    Toss cut up sweet potatoes with about a teaspoon of olive oil and some red pepper flakes.
    Cook for about 15 minutes at 425 degrees, tossing once.
    Suck it, haters.

    1. Mumbletypeg

      Beat me to it.
      And I waited way, way too long to get around to trying it, like just last year; so if anyone else out there is tired of cooking regular potatoes at home? this is the way to go.

        1. Mumbletypeg

          I'm a man. What… "cook"…?

          Of course! I forget myself.
          For *everyone's* clarification — not just you actor_:
          I included the "at-home" only b/c, although (around here, in the local-owned eateries) you can add an order of sweet potato fries, it's between $2.50-$4.00 and usually loaded with excess salt/sugar and oil. Making them at home trumps dined-out in all three categories: flavor, cost-savings, and so freakin' easy, esp. if you line the tray w/ foil then just toss afterward, no cleanup.

  5. LiveToServeYa

    Fuck conservative pundits. Only the virulent, racist, know-nothing right could drum up shit against trying to improve people's eating habits.

  6. elviouslyqueer

    Conservative pundits and outlets such as the Drudge Report reported last year that Obama wanted to ban French fries in restaurants

    Wait, wait, wait. I'm confused. Was this before or after Andrew Breitbart discovered Matt having sexytime fantasies about fellating Barry?

  7. Beowoof

    Sweet potato fries are just are trick from liberals to get kids to eat healthy socialist food. Don't fall for it,make sure you and the kids get real lard fried American freedom fries.

  8. SorosBot

    As someone who really dislikes sweet potatoes, I'll say no thanks; give me my salty regular old fries instead.

      1. SorosBot

        But I have tried them! The sweet potatoes, not the assfucking, that is. And I didn't like it.

        1. actor212

          You've never done buttsecks?

          Wow. Dude. I can get a line started around the block here for ya!

          Oh, wait…I mean, you'd be catcher, so put that thing away…

      2. Tundra Grifter


        It's an acquired taste – like Scotch and asparagus.

        Especially if you're gettin' and not givin'.

  9. FakaktaSouth

    Apparently the end goal of everything you do as a Republican has to be about getting fat.
    Sex for pregnancy, food for obesity, got it.

  10. dadanarchist

    "Fucking elitist."

    "Wait, aren't sweet potatoes a big part of Southern cuisine."

    "Fuck you, elitist. Roll Tide!!!!"

  11. actor212

    So lemme get this straight: two restaurant chains, perhaps under coercion from the administration, but more likely making a decision based on focus groups and surveys that indicate they'd get more customers if they didn't turn kids into walking buttermilk, decide to serve healthier options and somehow, it's Michelle's fault.

    K, got it now.

  12. valthemus

    I'd like to think Fox "News" is at least a tiny bit ashamed to be so thoroughly outclassed by the Scholastic News Kids Press Corps, but I'm pretty sure they maintain a "No Shame Zone."

    1. actor212

      I heard down at the Abortionplex, they serve sweet potato fries with the "chicken fingers"

      Say, why don't they ever need medical waste disposal at the Abortionplex?

  13. An_Outhouse

    She could have suggested selling fruit as a money raiser. I used to love it when kids delivered oranges to me in the winter time. I hate the shit kids make nowadays – some crap mix they got at a store, open up, and add water to Who knows what else they threw in it.

  14. Redhead

    Sweet potato fries are the shiznit and I question the humanity of anyone who says otherwise.

  15. ChessieNefercat

    If our dear FLOTUS suggested that scraping the grass clippings and dog poo off the bottom of my lawn mower and and boiling them up with toilet tank water would make a tasty and nutritious drink, I would give it a try.

    Oh, and I found that sweet potato fries were fine once I learned to appreciate them for what they are instead of chomping on them while sullenly telling myself, no, they are not real fries.

  16. zedbot

    I'm with the delectable FLOTUS…sweet potato fries rock. Also, elitist mustard mixed with a bit of mayo to dip them in.

  17. fuflans

    michelle and her fancy food can keep running decoy with the wingtards for as long as it takes mitt to lose in november.

Comments are closed.