SAME THING  9:00 am March 13, 2012

Kathryn Jean Lopez Simply Does Not Care for Louis C.K., ‘Women’

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

There has been such a dearth of commentary — a gaping hole, really — from both left and right about the Health and Human Services’ birth control coverage mandate. National Review’s Kathryn Jean Lopez will now fill the hole! And she will fill it, hard, with the important parts in it that everyone has been neglecting in this story: Louis C.K., the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, Sarah Palin’s lady parts, the crucifixion and, sure, Hitler. Let us revel in her newest sortie, “Miserable ‘Women’.” (Scare-quotes in the original, because… miserable feminists are not women, or feminist non-women are miserable, or because there is no such thing? Is Kathryn Jean Lopez a woman? If you prick her, does she not bleed?) My, she sounds upset!

First of all, Kathryn Jean Lopez just needs to point out something before anything else, in her lede, because it is so oft forgotten by blog readers:

There is something special about a mother and her love for her child.

Maternal love! This will be a column about maternal love, according to the lede. Next?

We know it innately, and it’s one reason why the “women’s health” rhetoric, of which we’ve heard so much lately, resonates to the point at which it drowns out any and all details of a given policy, controversy, or testimony.

That is an interesting sentence, because it does not mean anything. Let’s paraphrase: “A mother’s love is so innate that consequently no debates about women’s health are possible.”

But what about comedian Louis C.K.? He almost performed at the Radio and TV Correspondents dinner, but then he didn’t. This basically makes him Barack Obama’s Chief of Staff, in terms of his policy influence in Washington. Has anyone asked him for his thoughts on an entirely different topic, that of how much he hates Sarah Palin?

I can’t relate in this column some of the obscene things [Louis C.K.] has said about former vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin. While he contended that she would “Hitler up” Washington — this, about a woman who often wears a star of David to express her solidarity with the Israeli people — most of his venom is the product of a crude obsession with her most intimate body parts, and he talks about them graphically in relation to her youngest child, whom he dubs a “retard.” This has less to do with politics than with misogyny, unless politics itself has become nothing more than a sexual power play.

(Wonketteers, the aforegoing does not give you license to play “Louis C.K.” in the comments. But onward.) What does this prove? Let’s read on to the very next paragraph, for clues:

The current White House mandate debate is not so much about birth control as it is about effectively shutting religious citizens and entities down when it comes to contraception, sterilization, and even abortion. The government is saying: Sure you can believe that crazy stuff, but you can’t practice it in the public square. We know what’s best, and so you will pay if you really want to act on that nonsense in 2012 — literally, pay with a penalty.

So, tasteless jokes about Sarah Palin prove that the government is trying to impose a tax on having religious beliefs. That seems like an accurate assessment of the comedian’s words.

And now how about some weepy pablum about feminism with a fancy word in it! The fancy word cancels out the tornado of incoherence ripping through the sentence structure:

At some point, the “women’s health” shouting has got to stop so that the cries of women can be heard — cries that expose the immiserization of a generation and more, a generation that bought into the false promises of the pill as lifestyle revolution and was sold as “freedom” an unhealthy subservience to non-commitment, all in the name of professional success and independence.

WE COULD GO ON FOREVER LIKE THIS. Okay one more. Did you know that Mary was the mother of Jesus, and that he was crucified? Thank heavens you remembered to read K-Lo’s column this week.

When you walk up the steps to Calvary in Jerusalem, at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher your eyes are quickly drawn to a statue of Our Lady of Sorrows, her heart pierced with pain. Whatever you think about the divinity of Christ, the man Jesus — her son — died on a cross, after a brutal scourging. And she watched the whole thing.

In sum, the Virgin Mary did not use the Pill, and look what happened to her. [National Review Online]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 201 comments }

Douché March 13, 2012 at 9:06 am

If she floats, she's obviously made of wood and thusly, a witch. Burn her at the stake!!!!

Not_So_Much March 13, 2012 at 11:04 am

She turned me into a newt! Well, I got better…

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 9:07 am

Jean Teasdale Redux!

tessiee March 13, 2012 at 9:24 am

Jean was (or is) doofy but sweet. This one, like so many other conservatives, is dumb and mean.

Also, I'm guessing that there's no "hubby Rick" in the picture, unless it's got batteries, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

FNMA March 13, 2012 at 9:39 am

Jesus, Jean has really let herself go.

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 9:08 am

"the man Jesus — her son — died on a cross, after a brutal scourging."

He had it coming.

ph7 March 13, 2012 at 9:17 am

Jesus was always playing the martyr.

FROTHY March 13, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Would somebody just tell him to get the FUCK down from the cross, already, someone might need the wood?

Heh, heh, I said "wood."

bagofmice March 13, 2012 at 9:26 am

It was worth a billion bucks to Mel.

Doktor Zoom March 13, 2012 at 9:27 am

He was a lawbreaker who encouraged redistribution of wealth.

I'm no Christian, but the vast majority of these assholes would have been solemnly explaining how it was necessary to keep dangerous troublemakers like that noisy Galilean from poisoning minds.

UnholyMoses March 13, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Thank you thank you a million times thank you.

These clowns would've volunteered to hammer the nails themselves to punish that socialist hater of the rich and carer of the sick and poor.

Self awareness isn't really their strong suit.

HempDogbane March 13, 2012 at 9:40 am

And she watched the whole thing. And she had her period.

nonbeliever7 March 13, 2012 at 9:51 am

If Jesus had a good health care plan, he would have merely given a copay for our sins.

Dashboard Buddha March 13, 2012 at 9:56 am

This whole stuff with the S&M Jesus bugs me. Yes, the dude suffered for 3 days…but what the fuck…3 days? Throughout history, people suffered and some much worse for years. Do the Hiroshima survivors get their own little cross? What about folks in the concentration camps?

Jesus suffering for 3 days to get the feel of being human is like Mittens going through the drive through at Burger King to get a feel for being a poor.

FNMA March 13, 2012 at 10:10 am

He's never been t the drive-through at Burger King, but he's best friends with the owner.

Chichikovovich March 13, 2012 at 10:11 am

And let's not forget the thousands of poor wretches who came into the clutches of the Inquisition.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6

Mumbletypeg March 13, 2012 at 10:16 am

He was dead for three days. The public flogging/ scourging leading to the cross etc. was about a day & a night perhaps; my point would be, his "suffering of" idiot-audiences continual failing to 'get' his message (and misconstrue, and misinterpret, for years to come) despite his dumbing it down (the parable approach might confound some, but it's thought it was meant to appeal both to a largely illiterate segment yet still in keeping w/ longtime oral storytelling Jewish tradition to the point of being arcane) and demonstrating in his actions what he was trying to get across.
The subject of contemporary Christians 'borrowing' the sorrows motif and exploiting it for personal attention/ gain is a different matter altogether.

chicken_thief March 13, 2012 at 10:27 am

And he had to put up with that dolt, Thomas and the fucking backstabber, Judas. And then the constant "come on Jesus, do a trick!". Water to wine, multiplying loaves and fishes, raising the dead….. it had to get tiresome.

Advn2rgirl March 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm

And the sick?! Jesus couldn't stand sick people. Just couldn't be around them.

doloras March 13, 2012 at 6:03 pm

There's a Sufi story about an idiot who kept following Jesus around pestering him to raise something from the dead. Finally Jesus stopped at a pile of bones and said "If I raise this from the dead, will you leave me alone?" The idiot greedily nodded, and Jesus did his mojo – and the pile of bones regenerated into a ferocious lion, who promptly ripped the idiot's guts out, the end.

Fukui-sanYesOta March 13, 2012 at 9:09 am

At some point, the “women’s health” shouting has got to stop so that the cries of women can be heard

Yes, the pasty old white guys in the GOP (and their buddies in the church) need to shut the fuck up and listen to women. Glad you agree, Kathryn J.L.

jjdaddyo March 13, 2012 at 11:34 am

Why is this shameless harlot not at home tending to her husbands needs and having many children? WHO IS THIS GODLESS FEMINIST?

ChernobylSoup March 13, 2012 at 9:09 am

That age old question again? Catholics sprinkle, Baptists use immiserization, and Mormons just get your death certificate a little damp. Not sure what this has to do with reproductive issues.

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 9:21 am

And it's all a golden shower of bullshit.

AlterNewt March 13, 2012 at 9:10 am

I'm sure she's a very nice lady and I wish her all the best.

BklynIlluminati March 13, 2012 at 9:10 am

Was K-lo high when she wrote this? Worst connect dots game EVAH

Terry March 13, 2012 at 9:43 am

I think she knocks off a full box of wine before she starts to write.

tessiee March 13, 2012 at 9:49 am

and a pretty fair number of wite kasuls, too.

chicken_thief March 13, 2012 at 10:29 am

Prolly a gland problem. Or it runs in the family.

poncho_pilot March 13, 2012 at 10:36 am

that gland problem can cause a different kind of gland problem. if you know what i mean.

FROTHY March 13, 2012 at 6:35 pm

*Nothing* runs in HER family, dood/ine. Waddles, at best.

FROTHY March 13, 2012 at 6:35 pm

It'sthose cakes we like that really do a number on her piehole.

glamourdammerung March 13, 2012 at 9:10 am

The current White House mandate debate is not so much about birth control as it is about effectively shutting religious citizens and entities down when it comes to contraception, sterilization, and even abortion. The government is saying: Sure you can believe that crazy stuff, but you can’t practice it in the public square. We know what’s best, and so you will pay if you really want to act on that nonsense in 2012 — literally, pay with a penalty.

This might make sense if the policy in question had not already been in place for almost all of the Bush regime.

Do these people think if they whine about Jesus while they are telling lies that it somehow makes it magically "not count"?

chicken_thief March 13, 2012 at 10:30 am

Yes. Oh, wait, that was rhetorical wasn't it….

poncho_pilot March 13, 2012 at 10:35 am

"i'm fucking you but it's ok. i'm doing it through the sheet."

FROTHY March 13, 2012 at 6:37 pm

In her case, it's much more likely to be "through the SHEEEEEE-IT!," if you know what I mean.

freakishlywrong March 13, 2012 at 9:11 am

THIS: Sure you can believe that crazy stuff, but you can’t practice it in the public square. We know what’s best, and so you will pay if you really want to act on that nonsense in 2012 — literally, pay with a penalty.

The first amendment is nonsense. Ok. If churchies want to influence policy and get involved in politics, pay up bitches. Tax em' all.

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 9:16 am

I've never understood why churches get a pass on paying taxes. Just because they pay fealty to some invisible sky sociopath? WTF?

glamourdammerung March 13, 2012 at 9:30 am

Especially when churches get tax exemptions on for-profit businesses they own, which is of course part of this whole "controversy".

Me_K_Cong March 13, 2012 at 11:58 am

Excuse me for being serious, but I think they get to not pay taxes in return for not expecting any representation.

LesBontemps March 13, 2012 at 9:12 am

Is Kathryn Jean Lopez a woman? If you prick her, does she not bleed?

We may never know, because no one would prick her, ever.

Dashboard Buddha March 13, 2012 at 10:00 am

See above: ie, lack of booze

horsedreamer_1 March 13, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Before every NRO mixer, I invest in flour futures.

Dashboard Buddha March 13, 2012 at 8:45 pm

I hope it's because they like fried chicken…a lot.—

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 9:12 am

Here's the missing alt-text:

"And what hideous beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards C-Span to be broadcast?'

(apologies to Yeats)

Chichikovovich March 13, 2012 at 9:20 am

The girdle cannot hold.

tessiee March 13, 2012 at 9:50 am

So much win.

poncho_pilot March 13, 2012 at 10:38 am

churning and churning in the widening liar.

Dashboard Buddha March 13, 2012 at 9:59 am

BTF and Chichikovovich….you two are my heroes today.

ChernobylSoup March 13, 2012 at 9:12 am

"brutal scourging" is that like a Silkwood shower?

An_Outhouse March 13, 2012 at 9:12 am

I tried to listen to Louis C.K. once, but he's retar… BANG!!!!

Arken March 13, 2012 at 9:13 am

Does that make Colbert part of the Bush administration? He actually DID speak at the correspondents' dinner. Right to the president's face.

joobajooba March 13, 2012 at 9:27 am

And to the correspondents' faces. They took it worse than Bush did.

tessiee March 13, 2012 at 9:51 am

If I'm remembering that video right, Bush was leaning back in his chair as far away as he could possibly get from Colbert, and smiling in a way that you could tell meant he was angry.

Advn2rgirl March 13, 2012 at 1:50 pm

It was a thing of beauty: http://youtu.be/qa-4E8ZDj9s

LiveToServeYa March 13, 2012 at 9:13 am

If the Virgin Mary was a Wookiee, and all Wookiees live on Kashyyyk, then the right of a Mother to be a Mother is sacred, because of suffering, and not subject to government legislation that they be issued little rubber things or whatever.

Baconzgood March 13, 2012 at 9:35 am

I see where you're going with this.

chicken_thief March 13, 2012 at 10:36 am

The Virgin Mary was no Wookiee – she was a goddamned American jes like her son, Jesus, pronounced the true American way in American – "jee-zus", not that fucking Mexican gobble-dee-gook, "hey-zeus" bullshit!!!!

chascates March 13, 2012 at 9:14 am

Has politics itself has become nothing more than a sexual power play?

Yes it has.

poncho_pilot March 13, 2012 at 10:40 am

everything is political.

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 9:14 am

"There is something special about a mother and her love for her child."

Well, isn't that special?

Tundra Grifter March 13, 2012 at 9:22 am

Meanwhile, Dad is over at the cashier, picking up the tab.

chicken_thief March 13, 2012 at 10:39 am

"Ya, ya. Whatevs. "

~ Andrea Yates

SorosBot March 13, 2012 at 9:14 am

How many children does Kathryn Jean Lopez have again? Oh that's right, none. I guess she doesn't care for that special love of a mother for her child she wants to force on all other women.

And moron, people can practice their religion in the public square all they want; the government is just preventing them from forcing others to live according their religion's dumbass rules.

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 9:19 am

Well, part of the problem is that any penis is immediately rendered flaccid if it gets within a 500-meter radius of this "woman."

poncho_pilot March 13, 2012 at 10:41 am

that would be one hell of a restraining order.

Mumbletypeg March 13, 2012 at 9:15 am

Louis C.K.

"Lopez K.J." See, it could work for your comedic schtick too, Kathryn.

Oh and could you spare some eyebrow? Ron Paul just dropped another one, he could use a loaner.

poncho_pilot March 13, 2012 at 10:42 am

just take the middle one.

memzilla March 13, 2012 at 9:16 am

…effectively shutting religious citizens and entities down when it comes to contraception, sterilization, and even abortion.

You say that like it's a bad thing, K Lo.

I am personally in favor of an STFU mandate against anyone who doesn't have ladyparts telling anyone with ladyparts what she can and can't do with her ladyparts.

Any other position on this issue would be ret… er… retrograde.

Baconzgood March 13, 2012 at 9:16 am

J-Lo has sure let herself go since The Back-up Plan.

Chichikovovich March 13, 2012 at 9:17 am

Sure you can believe that crazy stuff, but you can’t force other people to practice it in the public square.

chicken_thief March 13, 2012 at 10:40 am

Was that a pre-emptive strike on her part? Or am I giving her way too much credit?

Ayn Rand Paul Tard March 13, 2012 at 9:19 am

Louis C.K. for Comedy Czar!

I know, I know — LARRY THE CABLE GUY LIBEL!

Doktor Zoom March 13, 2012 at 9:20 am

a generation that bought into the false promises of the pill as lifestyle revolution and was sold as “freedom” an unhealthy subservience to non-commitment, all in the name of professional success and independence.

Because women had it so much better in the good old days, when it was illegal for single women (i.e., sluts) to get birth control, and when getting an abortion meant you might die, as God intended. (Yes, it's another link to Bridgett Potter's essay "Lucky Girl," and yes, I'm going to keep posting it from time to time)

tessiee March 13, 2012 at 9:53 am

I can't read those comments twice.

FROTHY March 13, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Go for it, dood. That was a very educational read. Geesh! (shivers)

ph7 March 13, 2012 at 9:20 am

the false promises of the pill as lifestyle revolution and was sold as “freedom”
vs.
When you walk up the steps to Calvary in Jerusalem, at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher your eyes are quickly drawn to a statue of Our Lady of Sorrows, her heart pierced with pain

I'll take Bachelorette #1, Jim.

Arishii March 13, 2012 at 9:21 am

"— cries that expose the immiserization of a generation" She's reading Marx?

FROTHY March 13, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Harpo? Sure.

spareme March 13, 2012 at 9:22 am

I am thinking when Lopaz failed to make any kind of decent grades in primary and secondary school, some one should of taken that seriously.

Tundra Grifter March 13, 2012 at 9:23 am

"… former vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin…"

Just like Ole Newt, you know you're washed up when your front name has become "former."

HelmutNewton March 13, 2012 at 9:23 am

"There is something special about a mother and her love for her child."

How would she know? She's afflicted with the whole Catholic "I wanna be a virgin bride for Jesus" delusion. Plus, she's too ugly for any sober man to want to boink her anyway.

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 9:39 am

"Plus, she's too ugly for any sober man to want to boink her anyway."

A railroad tanker car full of 120 proof Don Julio tequila would not be enough.

Baconzgood March 13, 2012 at 9:42 am

Even Baconz has found several walruses more fuckable. And I got some low standards.

(Not you my lil' lady. I'm snarking here.)

Dashboard Buddha March 13, 2012 at 9:58 am

too ugly for any sober man

There's not that much booze in the world.

chascates March 13, 2012 at 9:25 am

K Lo should be happy to know that Islam shares many of her concerns regarding women's bodies:
http://islamiclearningmaterials.com/islam-birth-c
In general, most forms of contraception and birth control are forbidden…“Coitus Interruptus” is when the man withdraws from the woman before ejaculation…Since condoms and diaphragms essentially perform the same function, they are both allowed also…Despite being allowed, many scholars believe these methods to be makruh, or disliked. In other words, it is better to avoid them if possible, though there is no sin in them…From this we can see that it is better for us to have as many children as Allah allows us to bear.

To facilitate Ms. Lopez greater understanding I signed her up for email updates (klopez@nationalreview.com) from that site. She's welcome.

doloras March 13, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Condoms and diaphragms are grudgingly tolerated? Those Muslims are DANGEROUS LIBERALS by Vatican standards.

Maman March 13, 2012 at 9:26 am

K-Lo? Why the hispanic on hispanic hate? Louis C.K. hasn't made fun of you! YET. Honestly, trying to make sense of that argument makes my brain hurt.

Baconzgood March 13, 2012 at 9:29 am

I don't know what to write…..I just slam words together

-Kathryn Jean Lopez-

MegPasadena March 13, 2012 at 11:04 am

It's like when I was in the elementary school back in Taiwan, I ended every article I wrote with the sentence "we should work hard so we can soon take back the Chinese Mainland and save our compatriots from the living hell they are in," no matter what the topic was.

Chichikovovich March 13, 2012 at 9:30 am

At some point, the “women’s health” shouting has got to stop so that the cries of women can be heard — cries that expose the immiserization of a generation and more, a generation that bought into the false promises of the pill as lifestyle revolution and was sold as “freedom” an unhealthy subservience to non-commitment, all in the name of professional success and independence.

A pretty wordy way to say that we should do away with the pill because women should be having more babies* And it's for their own good too – even though they may look all happy and stuff, they're really, like, totally immiserificationized.

You do realize that to the extent that this is an "argument" at all, it is also an argument against abstinence, right?

*Not that I'm anyone to talk about being wordy.

memzilla March 13, 2012 at 9:35 am

When babies are outlawed, only outlaws will have babies.

(Well, it makes as much sense as anything else K Lo has written.)

Dashboard Buddha March 13, 2012 at 9:40 am

*Not that I'm anyone to talk about being wordy.

Chichikovovich – Lengthy comments that are readable and thought provoking.

K-Lo – Lengthy comments that are near incomprehensible and rage provoking.

Victory: CHICHIKOVOVICH

Mumbletypeg March 13, 2012 at 9:51 am

CHICHIKOVOVICH

Sadly, I will never be able to type out his username without looking to see how it's spelled.

Dashboard Buddha March 13, 2012 at 10:04 am

Cut and paste is your friend.

Mumbletypeg March 13, 2012 at 10:30 am

Agreed, and frequently practiced!
I guess it's a pride sort of thing: "Just because it's a repeating pattern of similar consonant-vowel combinations doesn't mean I can't figure how to spell, much less say, a foreign name!"

tessiee March 13, 2012 at 10:05 am

Among friends, he could be known as Chichi.

FROTHY March 13, 2012 at 6:50 pm

LaRue.

tessiee March 13, 2012 at 9:30 am

"This has less to do with politics than with misogyny, unless politics itself has become nothing more than a sexual power play."

In a related story, all the muggers complained that it's not safe to walk around downtown at night anymore.

CapnFatback March 13, 2012 at 9:30 am

If you prick her, does she not bleed?

Nope. She oozes.

Sue4466 March 13, 2012 at 9:31 am

The current White House mandate debate is not so much about birth control as it is about effectively shutting religious citizens and entities down when it comes to contraception, sterilization, and even abortion. The government is saying: Sure you can believe that crazy stuff, but you can’t practice it in the public square. We know what’s best, and so you will pay if you really want to act on that nonsense in 2012 — literally, pay with a penalty.

If "shutting down" means you can't impose your religious views on your non-religious employees, then yes, that shit is being shut down. Unless you're a church. Then it's okay.

But for the record, pretty sure none of us want anyone practicing contraception, sterilization, or abortion in the public square. I think that stuff should happen in private, eh? Not because of anyone's religious beliefs, but because, EW GROSS!

Doktor Zoom March 13, 2012 at 10:23 am

“You've confused a war on your religion with not getting everything you want." –Jon Stewart

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 9:32 am

"National Review’s Kathryn Jean Lopez will now fill the hole!"

There's something about this statement that makes me feel kinda queasy.

BornInATrailer March 13, 2012 at 9:32 am

Let's make this topic useful.

Started watching "Lucky Louie" on DVD, the short-lived HBO show from Louis CK. It is really the same show as "Louie" but he's still married, only 1 kid, and there's more Jim Norton and Pamela Adlon (because she plays his wife). I think we got the first and sadly only season for $10. If you are like me and never saw this originally, get it. Completely worth it.

Doktor Zoom March 13, 2012 at 9:32 am

your eyes are quickly drawn to a statue of Our Lady of Sorrows, her heart pierced with pain

K-Lo has great empathy for this fictional woman and her spiritual pain. So much empathy that she doesn't think insurance plans should have to cover living women with actual medical needs, because that might make baby Jesus cry. Besides, they're sluts.

tessiee March 13, 2012 at 9:33 am

“A mother’s love is so innate that consequently no debates about women’s health are possible.”

Well, luckiliy for me (and society, probably), I don't have kids — so I guess that means I can say whatever I fucking feel like, just as though the Constitution were still in effect.

tessiee March 13, 2012 at 9:34 am

Louis C.K. rocks my world.
That is all.

Z Crudmonger March 13, 2012 at 9:34 am

I've heard there is more than one religion practiced by the citizens of Israel, perhaps the reason for various discord in the region. So when is Palin going to start wearing a Star and Crescent in support of "other" Israelis?

Boojum_Reborn March 13, 2012 at 11:47 am

9/11?

doloras March 13, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Or a Cross, for that matter. Palestinian Christians get their houses bulldozed just the same as the mooslins.

freakishlywrong March 13, 2012 at 9:34 am

The fact that wingnut wimmen are blowing the party's brass band on subjugating themselves just re-enforces my absolute belief that conservatism is a cult.

Mumbletypeg March 13, 2012 at 10:04 am

wimmen …subjugating themselves

a.) Passive women who have erroneously concluded life will be better if the 'man' takes the burden of family decision-making, making tough calls, navigating complicated conflicts
b.) people who never developed a sense of emancipation from their parents/ being parented by hoverers; shorter: SHELTERED
c.) Not well-read enough to have expanded one's ideas about sense of self-potential, with subservient roles coming across as compatible w/ religious portraits of "the fairer [weaker] sex"
I could go on. And because the world is getting *more* complicated [i.e. 'scary'] and 'muricans opt to become less exposed to literature or critical thought, I will only be surprised if the trend doesn't result in more cult-subjectlike clones.
/woeful prognosticating

tessiee March 13, 2012 at 10:09 am

"wingnut wimmen are blowing the party's brass band"

Tee hee.
Although, that would actually be a better use for their mouths.

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 9:34 am

Does this word salad come with dressing on the side? I'd like ranch. Or rendered Caesar.

tessiee March 13, 2012 at 10:10 am

Is there a caesarian salad on the menu?

poncho_pilot March 13, 2012 at 10:29 am

Russian to Conclusions or Eye-For-An-I-talian.

glamourdammerung March 13, 2012 at 9:35 am

a generation that bought into the false promises of the pill as lifestyle revolution and was sold as “freedom” an unhealthy subservience to non-commitment, all in the name of professional success and independence.

This is amusing coming from the same cretin that supported the guy that literally drafted the Catholic Church's policies on abetting child rapists getting the Magic Pope Hat.

Dashboard Buddha March 13, 2012 at 9:35 am

"gaping hole"

This could be a most accurate description of K-Lo

FakaktaSouth March 13, 2012 at 9:36 am

Is there a Jesus-loving lady standing in the public square talking about loving Jesus and how hard it sucks that the government won't let her talk about it? Is THIS what passes for nuance these days?

ALso, Louis CK is one of my great loves. He talks about kids the way he does because he has had some and SP the way he does because of what SHE does, not because of who HE is. And that makes all the difference.

SudsMcKenzie March 13, 2012 at 9:37 am

I think she has two fathers.

tessiee March 13, 2012 at 9:37 am

"There is something special about misogyny, sex loathing, and religious dogma. For those of us who are afflicted with those particular mind viruses, they resonate to where they drown out any and all facts, reason, or compassion."

ftfy

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 9:43 am

I think that pretty much sums it up.

annettaj March 13, 2012 at 9:38 am

When are these people gonna get tired of defending
Palin's lady parts? They are frozen anyway.

SorosBot March 13, 2012 at 9:43 am

"Whatever you think about the divinity of Christ, the man Jesus — her son — died on a cross, after a brutal scourging."

Well, that's assuming that the man Jesus actually existed; a big assumption since there is no actual evidence that he was a real person, or that any of the stories of the gospels actually happened.

MissTaken March 13, 2012 at 12:26 pm

But Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

tessiee March 13, 2012 at 9:45 am

'At some point, the “women’s health” shouting has got to stop so that the cries of women can be heard"

FINALLY!!
At last someone gets it!
After forty or fifty years of all of us dames being miserably locked into a country that treats us like only second-class citizens instead of livestock, somebody has at long last given us the rescue of a nice big religious zucchini forced down our collective throats that we've all been secretly craving all along, tee hee.

Oh, wait.
Actually, that's been going on for thirty years now, ever since somebody with more than two brain cells told Ronnie Raygun to pucker up to the religious right.
Oopsie.

Goonemeritus March 13, 2012 at 9:45 am

Can we all agree that any reference to Sarah Palin and/or her lady parts is not suitable for polite company? As to Louis’s use of the “R” word I am sure he knows this will cost him his Wonkette privileges.

Chet Kincaid March 13, 2012 at 9:45 am

Lot of incoherence in that one paragraph, innit? First she throws in an extra "iz" to further fancy up "immiseration", a word that specifically refers to economic impoverishment. So, not submitting yourself to a man has cursed your whole generation to poverty, you successful, professional women with your own money!

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 9:58 am
KobayashiMaru March 13, 2012 at 9:46 am

In sum, the Virgin Mary did not use the Pill, and look what happened to her.

This is the bestest, most wonderful thing I ever did read on the Wonkette. I'm going to hold this with me for the day, and say it to people, and pretend I am even half as clever.

tessiee March 13, 2012 at 9:46 am

"the immiserization of a generation and more, a generation that bought into the false promises of the pill as lifestyle revolution and was sold as “freedom” an unhealthy subservience to non-commitment, all in the name of professional success and independence."

Freedom! Horrible, horrible freedom!

Z Crudmonger March 13, 2012 at 10:05 am

Single-mom dogwhistle. Also.

SorosBot March 13, 2012 at 10:13 am

And that professional success and independence are just so awful too; better to just get married and start pumping out babies, instead of trying to have a successful career, like say being a professional hack and religious scold who tells other women how to live their lives who herself does not up to those rules but is instead single and childless in her mid-30s.

Shellwith2Ls March 13, 2012 at 9:47 am

Where do the Republicans get these self hating people from? Women who don't want any rights and blah people who want to go back to picking cotton for massa. Ugh!

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 9:47 am

I know it's "lipstick on a pig," darlin', but maybe you should consider plucking them Brezhnevs if you're going to go on television.

CapeClod March 13, 2012 at 9:48 am

Its been so long since we heard from that mouth breathing fart-bag that I had forgotten just how empty and incoherent she could be. Is she stil pushing for W to become a social studies teacher?

prommie March 13, 2012 at 9:50 am

KJL clearly feels a connection with Palin's precious little angel, Trig. Yes, she has a special sympathy for Trig, almost as if they share some bond, something in common.

CapnFatback March 13, 2012 at 9:50 am

At some point, the “women’s health” shouting has got to stop so that the cries of women can be heard — cries that expose the immiserization of a generation and more, a generation that bought into the false promises of the pill as lifestyle revolution and was sold as “freedom” an unhealthy subservience to non-commitment, all in the name of professional success and independence.

The above is the product of a sentence-combining exercise that took a dark turn.

Of course, I assume that any exercise K-Lo attempts would quickly take a dark turn.

FROTHY March 13, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Could you PLEEZ stop being so funny when being CREW-ELL? If I laugh any harder I'm going to be attracting all KINDZ unwanted attention. (removes peanut from right nostril)

CapnFatback March 13, 2012 at 10:22 pm

I won't be satisfied until I get jelly from the left one, and we can make K-Lo a conciliatory PB &J.

FROTHY March 14, 2012 at 3:55 am

I'm just so grateful I did NOT take teh laptop on this afternoon's excursion where I could have read this and screamed EW in a totally sissymary-top-of-my-lungz way while larfing my arse off. I've already attracted WAY too much attention out here. Can't wait to come home and hide among all the OTHER fucking weirdos.

PuckStopsHere March 13, 2012 at 9:52 am

The immortal manager of the Baltimore Orioles Earl Weaver once responded during a "questions from the fans" radio segment to a woman's inquiry about his tomato garden beyond the center field fence at Memorial Stadium by observing that if "Mary Jane there got a prick stuck in her once in a while, she wouldn't care so much about tomatoes." The same principle applies here to Kathryn Jean. It ain't gonna happen, but the same principle applies.

FlipOffResearch March 13, 2012 at 9:53 am

God, think of all the lives that would have been spared if she had used the pill.

tessiee March 13, 2012 at 10:22 am

Or if her mother had.

prommie March 13, 2012 at 9:54 am

Whose religion sets forth as a required article of faith an obligation to stop other people from using birth control? I want to know, what religion is this, which says to its followers:"go forth and deny birth control to strangers of other faiths." Because this religion that says this, this is the only religion which is being affected by the mandate. The mandate does not interfere with anyone's religious observances, unless the religion in question includes an obligation to stop others from using birth control.

Chet Kincaid March 13, 2012 at 9:55 am

The current White House mandate debate is not so much about birth control as it is about effectively shutting religious citizens and entities down when it comes to contraception, sterilization, and even abortion. The government is saying: Sure you can believe that crazy stuff, but you can’t practice it in the public square. We know what’s best, and so you will pay if you really want to act on that nonsense in 2012 — literally, pay with a penalty.

Yes!! This cannot be stated loud enough or frequently enough by pea-brained righty commentatorizisationers!! Every hysterical post about the Pope's freedom to book your babymaker cushions Obama's lead with sluts of all ages who refuse to rent out their wombs and suffer the pain of endometriosis in silence as our Lord intended!!

Chichikovovich March 13, 2012 at 9:59 am

Mary. Mary…hmmmm… isn't that the woman venerated as nearly divine by some Church that has decided to start a legal strategy of aggressively attacking abuse victim organizations? Why yes, I believe it is:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/13/us/catholic-chu

Naturally, the story has quotes from the execrable William Donohue:

"there’s a growing consensus on the part of the bishops that they had better toughen up and go out and buy some good lawyers to get tough. We don’t need altar boys."

Interestingly, they are getting these figurative non-altar-boys to go on the attack against actual alter boys.

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 10:11 am

"We don’t need altar boys."

*Ahem.* Then why do you need lawyers?

anniegetyerfun March 13, 2012 at 10:00 am

Are women miserable? Because I seriously would not have wanted to be a woman in any other time in history – unlike Lopez, who doubtlessly faps herself to sleep imagining that the time she experiences at Ren Faire are real and true.

neiltheblaze March 13, 2012 at 10:04 am

I wish Ross Douthat would lead her into temptation or something. It might loosen them both up a little.

Dashboard Buddha March 13, 2012 at 10:08 am

Good idea…then Rush can produce and distribute the steaming hot video…maybe include in the director's cut a short of him masturbating to the video as well.

Unfortunately, this will the the dinosaur asteroid of boner killers and the human race will die out.

Fukui-sanYesOta March 13, 2012 at 10:12 am

FFS, I was eating breakfast. Thanks.

Dashboard Buddha March 13, 2012 at 10:29 am

Sorry. :-(

starfanglednut March 13, 2012 at 11:20 am

*passes out.

Freud McShadenies March 13, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Now we have the backstory to Children of Men!

FROTHY March 13, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Un, no. Neither of them merits that appellation.

FROTHY March 13, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Jesus Christ, just thinking of those two beached whales going at it is enough for ME to die out. Thanks a lot, DBB. It was nice knowing you. Life WUZ SWEEEEEEAAAARGH!

tessiee March 13, 2012 at 10:25 am

'I wish Ross Douthat would lead her into temptation or something"

Can Ross do that?

neiltheblaze March 13, 2012 at 10:30 am

He's halfway there. She's already attracted to his Neanderthal brows.

Boojum_Reborn March 13, 2012 at 11:56 am

I very much hate you for that image.

neiltheblaze March 13, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Right! Like you never thought of Ross and K-Lo in the sweaty throes of passion before!

It would be like two warthogs rutting in the wild – only there'd be guilt and tears after.

VadersEX March 13, 2012 at 10:08 am

My mother was of the generation of WWII when women began to seriously enter the job market. I can remember when she had to work 6 days a week as a secretary with no hope of advancing further. When having a child that required attention was considered a deterrent to her advancement and even placed her job in danger. I know that my mother did not have the opportunity to pursue the education and career she really wanted. Instead she settled for office work and a family that she by her own admission did not really want.

Kathryn Jean Lopez, and others like her take for granted the sacrifices of the women who suffered just for the right to have a choice in this world, shame on them. Ms Lopez has the position she has, the public voice that she has and the RIGHT not to marry and have a house full of children because of my mother and the women of previous generations. I am absolutely offended.

Her comments are an insult to those who fought so hard.

FakaktaSouth March 13, 2012 at 10:18 am

Particularly when a female type wouldn't have the job at National Review or platform on CNN to spew out this nonsense without women like your mom putting up with all that they did for this ability. Remembering where we came from is an important lesson for all of these people. But knowing stuff is never a strong suit with someone whose main goal in life is selling self righteous blather.

Beowoof March 13, 2012 at 10:08 am

Thanks, but I wouldn't want to prick her, as it could mean I have to talk to her afterward.

FROTHY March 13, 2012 at 7:20 pm

She's definitely a two-bagger.

CapnFatback March 13, 2012 at 10:12 am

unless politics itself has become nothing more than a sexual power play.

If K-Lo had it her way, politics would become some sort of sexual Passion play.

FROTHY March 13, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Except without so much teh Passion. Unless, of course, it's a fruit.

DCBloom March 13, 2012 at 10:16 am

"immiserization'
My word of the day

smashedinhat March 13, 2012 at 10:19 am

The Government this, the government that. Why don't both genders in what is left of the GOP just come out and say they hate not only us but themselves? Then we can all get on with the non-productive sexy time and the sweet, sweet drug use. Huzzah!

Doktor Zoom March 13, 2012 at 10:20 am

OT: On Morning Edition, in a story on the Missibama primaries, reporter Russell Lewis had a clip of a voter who said it's important to defeat Obama, because "In the Constitution it states that you have to have two parents that were born in the United States, so that there's no alternative allegiance by any member of the family," which Lewis followed up with, simply, "The Constitution doesn't actually say that."

It would be nice to see more news stories occasionally include some minimal fact-checking like this. (And yes, maybe it would be better if the reporters didn't even include the batshit insane stuff to start with…)

Guppy March 13, 2012 at 11:02 am

"(And yes, maybe it would be better if the reporters didn't even include the batshit insane stuff to start with…)"

But that's 95% of the content of domestic news!

AbandonHope March 13, 2012 at 10:21 am

This unit acknowledges having read the aforementioned article.

ph7 March 13, 2012 at 10:33 am

Would you whisper that slowly in JLo's ear? Passionate words stir her lady parts

poncho_pilot March 13, 2012 at 10:30 am

Right Club: A Post-Modern Bible Story: Jonah will play the whale and also swallow himself.

Jerri March 13, 2012 at 10:36 am

K-Lo just wants Louis to call her a jazzy wondergirl, too.

DaRooster March 13, 2012 at 10:37 am

Church run hospitals can do whatever the heck they want to do. Ignore contraception, deny coverage for certain things… just don't expect to be paid by the government for services. Accept only over priced insurance or cash and with the insurance thing… hope to God they don't deny the claim of their customer under some "preexisting condition" or some shit… 'cuz then you no get paid.

Abernathy March 13, 2012 at 10:51 am

Funny how a woman who has clearly committed herself to professional "success" (OK, at the NRO, but still) and, if she ever has been laid (is the jury still out on that?), used some method of contraceptive, is so against all of that on principle, for any other women, ever.

metamarcisf March 13, 2012 at 10:53 am

I dropped "immiserization" into the Microsoft Word thesaurus and received the message "no results were found". Is this also part of the conspiracy among Louis C.K.., Bill Gates and Keith Olbermann?

WiscDad March 13, 2012 at 11:17 am

KJL looks like Meatloaf with a sex change

BaldarTFlagass March 13, 2012 at 11:44 am

Or Meatloaf in "Fight Club."

Boojum_Reborn March 13, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Only if the sex to which she was changed was "none."

Callyson March 13, 2012 at 11:28 am

The voters are saying: Sure you can believe that crazy stuff, but you can’t force it upon everyone in the public square. We know what’s best for our own lives, and so you will pay if you really want to force us to act on that nonsense in 2012 — literally, pay with an election loss.
/fixed

Slim_Pickins March 13, 2012 at 11:45 am

Where's the straw man? You can't write for the NRol if you don't have a straw man. Oh, Louis CK is the straw man? That's pretty lame.

Boojum_Reborn March 13, 2012 at 11:46 am

She's filling it hard, also too.

Too bad it's not her pie hole.

FROTHY March 13, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Dood, it's pretty obvious that she fills her piehole HARD and FAST and APLENTY.

MaxUdargo March 13, 2012 at 11:47 am

Greta Von Sustern (is that how you spell it? – the woman with the messed up eyes) apparently brought up this Louise CK talking point yesterday too. I guess this is going to be their argument, the old "false equivalence" response. How predictable. "Rush didn't do anything that liberals don't do all the time but liberals get away with it."

Whatever, devil-eyed woman.

Slim_Pickins March 13, 2012 at 11:52 am

I think you spell it Von Soweto.

proudgrampa March 13, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Some days, I wake up and think I am in the 19th Century, not the 21st.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

EykisAquarius March 13, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Right here in Music City, USA, there are several mega-churches on prime real estate that preach HATE against others on a daily basis – hell, they have SEMINARS on HOW TO HATE OTHERS, yet they pay no taxes and the sheeple simply nod and elect their members to the State Leg and we all suffer….a LOT LONGER than 3 days or 1-1/2 days and get no water to wine, to boot, no less.

TAX THE CHURCHES NOW~any with more than 20 congregants.

Deportably_Jose March 13, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Whatever you think about the divinity of Christ, the man Jesus — her son — died on a cross, after a brutal scourging. And she watched the whole thing.

Actually, there's phenominally little independent evidence that the historical figure Jesus of Nazereth existed, either, and even the biblical accounts are full of anachronism, so not really?

larrykat March 13, 2012 at 2:05 pm

That bitch is ugly.

Lazy Media March 13, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Would The Pill prevent God from impregnating a virgin? If so, that's a damn good drug.

ttommyunger March 13, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Saw K Lo, read J Lo, was chubbing up ready to fap as soon as the page loaded, then BOOM! Instant soft-on. What a downer!

FROTHY March 13, 2012 at 7:06 pm

This stupid bitch needs to talk to some of the children who have had mothers like Nixzmary Brown's. I'd really like to give her a taste of MY mother's love, but I believe that is illegal in most civilized nations, and if not, it certainly OUGHT to be. She's a dumb nutsack — too busy carrying someone's balls to analyze their meaning.

horsedreamer_1 March 13, 2012 at 8:04 pm

As Louis is a filthy Magyar, I can get behind K-Lo's effort to marginalized him.

Doktor Zoom March 13, 2012 at 9:34 am

Oh, stop whining. Please, if it's that important for you to make one more "retard" joke, then go start a blog that's all tards all the time.

Dashboard Buddha March 13, 2012 at 10:02 am

Don't you mean skullfucking rules?

SorosBot March 13, 2012 at 9:39 am

It's been over a week too, and it took way less than a day for the rules whinging to get annoying and tiresome. It's times like this I miss the downfist.

starfanglednut March 13, 2012 at 11:08 am

I dunno. I certainly see your point, sb, but with one possible exception, I have never made a tard joke on this or any other website, nor in my personal life, and now I fear the banhammer if I make even a statement that is misconstrued as such. I see the necessity of common sense guidelines, but something about the way in which they've been instituted makes me uncomfortable.

FROTHY March 13, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Isn't the First Commandment of Wonketz "Thou Shalt Not Attack Thy Fellow-Wonketeerz?" Us grown-ups can always NOT-read things that bug us, yaknow. Which I would actually prefer to banhammering, but Owner's Sandbox, Owner's Rules. And I can live with these particular rules because I lovez ya all, goddammit.

FROTHY March 13, 2012 at 6:46 pm

That's my nut (hugs the nut).

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: