PUBLICITYCheck out what Mitt Romney’s most beloved fluffer and robocaller, cartoon television capitalist Donald Trump, had to say about “weird” names today.

When I was 18, people called me Donald Trump. When he was 18, @BarackObama was Barry Soweto. Weird.

That’s a nice thing to say about someone whose father abandoned him, instead of handing him a New York real estate empire. Anyway, our turn: When Barack Obama was 47, he was elected President of the United States. When Donald Trump was 47, he was bankrupt. Weird. (Not really.)

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  • southernbeale

    Ugh. Is there any person more useless than this idiot? I can't wait for his stupid show to get cancelled.

    • His hair knows he's been cancelled. It's just waiting for the rest of him to catch up.

    • hagajim

      I'd say about 60% of either Mississippi or Alabama are more useless than this idiot. That being said he prolly ought to live in one of those two states.

  • nounverb911

    The Gerbil goes in the other end, Donald.

  • boobookitteh

    It's "Soetoro". Also.

    • I don't think he was "Soetoro" at 18, either, also.

  • Donald Trump. Weird.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Still using all that money to buy some class, I see.

    • nounverb911

      There isn't that much money in all the world.

      • dadanarchist

        This calls for Class Default Swaps.

        • WIDTAP

          Isn't the entire world economy in enough trouble?

  • elviouslyqueer

    When I was between the ages of 0 and now, I was not an asshole. When Donald Trump was between the ages of 0 and now, he was an asshole. Weird.

  • nounverb911

    Hair today, gone tomorrow.

  • SorosBot

    Nobody cares what you have to say, Donnie.

  • kissawookiee

    Soweto, Soetoro, South Africa, Indonesia, Kenya, all of the above still = blah, so what's the problem?

  • dadanarchist

    I'm taking collections to blackbag the Donald and leave him in the middle of Soweto.

  • Don't worry Short Fingers. You'll always be known as the Short Fingered Vulgarian to me.

    • Nicely played, sir. Nicely played.

  • So Donald Trump is teasing the President because his mother married a second time after his father dumped her?

    I wonder how Ivanka feels about this?

    • iburl

      I wonder if Ivanka feels anything.

      • Well, when the botox wears off a little…

  • edgydrifter

    It's spelled "T-R-U-M-P" but it's pronounced "DIPSHIT."

    • anniegetyerfun


      • MosesInvests

        Actually, it's pronounced "Throat Warbler Mangrove". #MontyPythonTourette's

  • BarackMyWorld

    When I was 18, people called me Donald Trump.

    Only to your face.

  • Ohhhh. I see what you did there. Back to the birther whispers. Guess someone didn't learn their lesson during the correspondents' dinner.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      Uh-huh. Way I heard it, Donnie, you had to squeal like a piggie there…
      BTW, did you know "trump" is Brit slang for a Bronx cheer… Weird.

  • fuflans


  • BaldarTFlagass

    When I was 18, people called me a crazy motherfucker. Now they just call me a motherfucker. Weird.

  • Antispandex

    …and if he makes it to 98, the Donald will NEVER be President…not so wierd.

  • Callyson

    I've got a few names for Donald Trump:
    Selfish Prick.
    Plenty more where that came from…

  • DCBloom

    The only thing weird in this is that thing on his head.

  • Logical fallacy has never seen this much mileage, even though tire after tire gets busted.
    Was reading just moments ago a dismembering of Governor Bob McDonnell's recent attempt to paint states w/ Republican governors as having measurably lower unemployment levels compared nationwide.
    "Out of the top 10 states that currently boast lowest unemployment, SEVEN are governed by Republicans," he said.
    In case you hadn't guessed what I'd like to have asked him next: "How many of the bottom ten states, those w/ the worst unemployment, have Republican governors, Governor?"

    • Answer: Six out of Ten (states w/ worst unemployment) = Repubs.

      Not to mention, among the applaudingly-ranked Grand Old governors occupying the top ten, three have only held office between 1-2 years (IA, WY, VA) following Democratic governors' occupying their seats between 8- and 12- year stretches of terms.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      And he forgot to include Right To Work States. Ten out of ten Right To Work states have the highest employment figures.*

      (*begging on the streets counts as employment.)

  • Come here a minute

    When he was 18, Donald Trump was called an asshole. Now Donald Trump is 65, and is still an asshole.

    • iburl

      Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole.

      • UW8316154

        Girls could not resist his stare.

      • Not in New York

      • Come here a minute

        He was only five foot three.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Someone let Chuck Grassley know that Donald is still on teevee.

  • crybabyboehner

    Obama combs his hair. Trump adjusts his toupee. Weird.

  • SpiderCrab

    Barry is the Ace of Trumps, and you, Donald, are little casino. Weird.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "When I was 18, people called me Donald Trump."

    Well, as far as you know, Donald.

  • There's more than a faint echo of Forrest Gump in this pronouncement – as there should be.

  • BeccaGo

    When I was 18, people called me Speckles von Schnapps. Because 18-year-olds call each other crazy shit. Weird.

  • gullywompr

    You know who else was called something different later in life?

    • MaxNeanderthal

      A tadpole?

    • Groucho Marx?

    • SayItWithWookies


    • Exhausted66

      Joe The Congressman?

    • IncenseDebate

      Peter North?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Muhammad Ibn `Abd Allāh Ibn `Abd al-Muttalib?

    • Karol Wojtyla?
      Leslie Lynch King, Jr.?
      Archie Leach?
      Paul David Hewson?
      Norma Jean Baker?

    • Gary Hart (nee Hartpence)?

    • MosesInvests

      Josif Dzugashvili?

    • Negropolis


  • Poor Donald Trump: he's put up billions of dollars in real estate, yet no one ever calls him a developer. He's given millions to charity, yet no one ever calls him a philanthropist. He's written several best-selling "world class" books, yet no one ever calls him an author.

    But suck just one cock…

  • chicken_thief

    What's weird is that The Donald hasn't released the results of the "Hawaiian Birf Cert Investigation".

  • YouBetcha

    Is this the part where we pretend that our President didn't totally pwn this carcass-haired loser? Or is this the part where we ignore the actual reason The Donald didn't run for President (financial disclosures would result in the world knowing he's broke ass broke)?

    • That's what he's hoping.

      Trump should have kept himself in his little foxhole of the New York City press corps, which will forgive him anything because, you know, he's Trump and he sells papers. Instead, he stuck his helmet up into a real firefight and got….well, new Wonkette rules prohibit me from being detailed, but let's just say he needed a replacement weasel to wear.

  • Soweto is a township in South Africa, moron.

  • Not_So_Much

    Must've been before he became an Oompa-loompa-American.

    • DaRooster

      Augustus Gloop Libel!!

  • UW8316154

    Barry is smart, powerful and has one hot wife; Donald is pasty, bankrupt and has two Stepford wives. Weird.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Only 2?

  • RadioStalingrad

    He clearly has a good relationship with the blahs.

  • LesBontemps

    Soweto? SOWETO? Ignorant douchebag is ignorant. And a douchebag.

    • anniegetyerfun

      What? They are all furrin sounding names that probably are not white. Tomayto, tomahto, I always say.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    That’s a nice thing to say about someone whose father abandoned him, instead of handing him a New York real estate empire.

    You know what other mean things they call him? President of the United States.

    Suck it, Donald.

  • proudgrampa

    The Donald is The Dick.

  • DaRooster

    When you were 18 did you have that one really long hair all wrapped around your head like that too?

  • BarackMyWorld

    Here's what I just learned:
    Soweto is actually spelled "Soetoro."
    Lolo Soetoro has his own wikipedia page.
    This claim was already debunked 3 years ago.
    Donald Trump is an even bigger idiot than I already thought.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I love the perfectly awesome decending stairstep of your posting.

  • comrad_darkness

    Who put my crazy bigoted uncle in charge of every fucking thing in this country? Seriously.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Ten years from now Barack Obama will be a respected elder statesman. And ten years from now, Donald Trump will be a noisy, bratty douchebag with a bad comb-over.

    • OurDailyBread

      And he will still be on TV, but in "Celebrity Rehab" instead.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I'd say someone needs to stick their cock in that mouth, but realized it would probably take ten of them.

  • Exhausted66

    Your Most Powerful Man in the Free World Envy is showing.

  • "When I was 18, people called me Donald Trump."

    Actually, they called you BossyPants McDaddy's Boy, but who's counting.

  • smitallica

    Even when he's being a birther fuckwad, he gets it wrong. Seriously, this guy is really just performance art, right?

  • memzilla

    Oh yes, a man who files for bankruptcy three times, shafting thousands of investors, contractors, vendors, and bond-holders in the process, who can't make money from a place where money is almost literally printed — yeah, this is the guy you want to be taking business and moral advice from.

    I do want him to be president, though… of China or Iran.

  • Neoyorquino

    "When Barack Obama was 47, he was elected President of the United States. When Donald Trump was 47, he was bankrupt."

    I haven't used this word since 8th grade, but I will now. BURN!

  • BloviateMe

    Trump really is that noxious fart that seems to linger forever.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Light a match.

  • pinkocommi

    "When I was 18, people called me Donald Trump."

    When he was 50, people called him "that asshole with the dead hamster on his head and succession of trophy wives."

  • Actually, they called him Donald Trump to his face. Behind his back, he was simply known as "that idiot."

  • Guppy

    Where can I forward my complaints about the "You have (X) PC errors" phishing scam?

  • anniegetyerfun

    This is actually the happiest I have been in a really long time. I finally had an excuse to throw a twat at Donald Trump. Thanks!

  • Rotundo_

    It must be difficult, sinking in the ratings, losing your credibility as an entrepreneur bit by bit and hairline ebbing further and further back. When he loses his relevance as a celebrity as well it will be sad day for Donald. The rest of the universe won't care in the least, but it will be a sad day for Donald. But for the grace of lucky birth, he would have been a used car salesman in Jersey, and would be feeling the same inevitable decline into irrelevance, moving from late models to used cabs. ("It's yellow primer, the good stuff, honest…")

  • Naked_Bunny

    In 2009, people called Donald Trump "the Donald". In 2009, people called Barack Obama "the President of the United States".

  • Sassomatic

    Yes, and now they call him Mr. President. And they call you douche-canoe.

  • Yes, we know Barry was named "Soweto" at 18, because his high school basketball nickname was "Barry O'Bomber." It all makes perfect sense!

    Fuck you, you low-class asshole.

  • rocktonsam

    learn how to eat pizza, jack ass, asshole ,jerk ass

  • owhatever

    When Obama was 18, he was intelligent. When Donald the Rich Kid was 18, not so much.

  • Negropolis

    Wait, so now he's South African?

    L-O-fuckin'-L! They can't even get their slurs straight. I am actually laughing out loud.

  • ttommyunger

    Trump, however, still means "Dickwad" in every language.

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