tucker up buttercup

Tucker Carlson’s ‘Daily Caller’ Does Yeoman’s Service In Refuting Dumb Right-Wing Freakout — UPDATED!


Perhaps you were alive and sentient and cruising around stupid hack rightwing websites sometime in the last few days when you noticed that they all lost their collective shit because totally un-American (Yellow Peril) Secretary of Energy, Nobel Prize winner, and flat-out adorable munchkin Steven Chu admitted before Congress that he DOES NOT OWN A CAR. What’s that, Google? “steven chu doesn’t own a car = about 80,100 results”? Who ever would have thought! It’s almost like he’s one of those Elites who live in high-rises and ride the subway! (Jews.) For shame, adorable Steven Chu! What a shanda for the Goys!

Now imagine our surprise to wake up and find the problem is not that Steven Chu is a commie green hippie (who probably belongs to a co-op AND a CSA!) who thinks he’s better than us with his public-transportation-taking ways (or possibly even being chauffeured in a town car, since he is a Cabinet member, and probably is allowed to SHOVE IT DOWN OUR THROATS; we’re surprised they didn’t mention that distinct possibility). Nope, thanks to Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller, we know the real story is that Chu is not commie green hippie Elite ENUF, as his wife drives a gas-guzzling BMW. (But thanks to the Daily Caller, we also know Chu is not an Elite who lives in a high-rise, since the good folks there generously included a Google Street view of Chu’s home. You guys are the best!)

These guys, huh? When are those FEMA camps coming again please?

CORRECTION! We wrote that The Daily Caller had neglected to mention the possibility of Chu being chauffeured, with a town car, since he is a Cabinet member. “[W]e’re surprised they didn’t mention that distinct possibility,” wrote we.

But the Daily Caller did in fact note that distinct possibility, wrapping up their EXCLUSIVE on Chu’s wife’s 10-year-old luxury car with this coup de grace: “Since he is a member of President Obama’s cabinet, Chu is driven to work every day through the courtesy of a security detail, with taxpayers footing the bill.”

Where are Robespierre and the Jacobins when Tucker Carlson needs them?

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


  1. FlownOver

    The bow tie can be used effectively as a garotte – assuming, of course, Mr. Carlson is himself looking for a way to die lonely and alone.

  2. Barb

    With no car what could be happening in his garage? Does he have 7 year-old children making iPads in there? As soon as I get out of the line to get the iPad 2 I am going to get back in line for the iPad 3.

    1. OzoneTom

      He has no dog
      And he has no friends and
      His lawn is dying… and
      What about all those packages
      He sends. What's he building in there?

    2. tessiee

      "As soon as I get out of the line to get the iPad 2 I am going to get back in line for the iPad 3."

      Doesn't really seem like the most efficient use of your valuable time. Can't you set up your Ipad2 to prompt you when the Ipad3 is about to go on sale?

    1. Rotundo_

      So in the interest of balance, can a hack comedian kick the bucket to restore balance? Okay, maybe then a morning yuck yuck show idiot? Soon all we will have left is bozos in this bus…

      1. tessiee

        *Porgy and Mudhead break into the school cafeteria at night*
        "Look, there's the mural depicting the heroic struggle of the little guys to finish the mural!"

    2. AlterNewt

      Somewhere in the Pacifica Archives there should be recordings of Bergman and Paul Krassner doing their daily wrap-up of the Iran/Contra hearings. They were brilliant.

      1. swordfis

        Anybody remember Paul Krassner's Ode to a Thermos, a parody Myakovsky epic? I wish I could get hold of it.

    3. C_R_Eature

      Oh, no.

      All the Clowns on the bus have stopped Squeezing their Weezes, for a moment of silence.

      Georgie quit biting his tires.

      Papoon paused

      Nick Danger's closed his third eye

      The lights on the Funway grow dim

      and now there's no one to hand me the pliers, so I will have to crush this dwarf.


    4. Indiepalin

      Saw Proctor and Bergman in '73 on their TV or not TV tour. Just awesome. Smoked a doobie with my Spanish teacher

  3. KennyFuckingPowers

    Big oil don't like 'lectric cars like Budweiser don't like weed!
    Even though they go together pretty good and shit.
    They hate each other with compassion.

  4. Tundra Grifter

    Is it just me, or does Tucker Carlson totally not have enough to do? Taking a homeless dog for a walk would be more useful than spewing out the tripe he peddles on the Internets as "news."

    1. dyedwool

      Agreed. Someone needs to take away all his clip-on ties. Having to actually tie those fuckers would eat up at least a few minutes he otherwise spends on his Interwebs drivel each day.

    2. Rotundo_

      It's what happens when a trustafarian buys himself a platform and speaks. It may be the shiniest, most wonderful platform around, but you know it was all bought with grandmas frozen pea money and no one of any intelligence is going to take it seriously. At least he didn't decide to become a performance artist and smear various condiments on his genitals while reciting really poorly written poetry and striking unusual poses for audiences of ten close friends or less. Trustafarians can fall down some really nasty holes if not carefully steered to safety from time to time.

        1. finallyhappy

          Actually, one of the hunger protesters at Occupy Dc is a performance artist who according to the City Paper, self circumcised himself for a performance(sometime before Occupy happened- I think) . I did not read any further(farther?) in the article.

          1. Geminisunmars

            Someone told him he should be circumspect and that was his interpretation. I don't want to think any further about this. (Your use, I believe would be farther, as it was physical space into the article; mine was figurative or metaphorical.)

      1. tessiee

        "it was all bought with grandmas frozen pea money"

        True story:
        When I lived in the South, I used to go to a seamstress for alterations. Since this was the South, she also made debutante dresses, and kept an album of pictures of the finished results.
        One of the debutantes could be described by the nonspecific but nonetheless horrifying euphemism "takes after her father". Her plainness was emphasized by her much too glamourous first name, e.g. "Tiffany". The best part was that her father was Billy Bob, the Popsicle King.

    3. tessiee

      "Taking a homeless dog for a walk"

      As opposed to a dog who buys a house or rents an apartment?

      1. Fare la Volpe

        He'd certainly have squatters' rights.

        Thanks, folks! I'll be here all week! Try the veal!

      2. Tundra Grifter


        Yes. Sometimes the rich and well-off need to reach down and get in touch with the masses.

    4. LetUsBray

      Clearly Jon Stewart needs to call him a dick who's hurting America on national TV again; he evidently didn't get the message the first time.

  5. ttommyunger

    Tucker Carlson, reigning Queen of the D.C. Pussyfarts. I'm guessing America will never be able to fully scrape his type (entitled little pricks) off it its collective shoe.

  6. Steverino247

    Instead of FEMA camps, I think someone should be posted to walk up and slap the shit out of them each and every time they say something this stupid.

    I volunteer.

        1. NYNYNYjr

          May I point out Tucker's beautiful flowing red hair and delicate hands and kissable lips- how could anyone wish harm on such a charming feminine creature?

  7. WhatTheHeck

    The point of all this Mr. Chu, is how the hell are you ever gonna have a gun rack if you don’t even own a car? And as for making out in the backseat, its what patriotic, real Americans use their cars for.

    1. GliblyArcane

      Tucker Carlson should know this better than anyone; back in the day when he was shilling for right wing hacks at the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette he famously championed a state-wide initiative to require gun racks in all vehicles by riding a gun-rack-equipped unicycle to work every day, dressed in his St. George's blazer and a bow tie made entirely out of hundred dollar bills.

  8. Tundra Grifter

    Totally OT 2.0:

    Jimmy Ellis went home yesterday (Friday, 03/09).

    "Hold Back the Night!"


  9. zappadoo76

    As the heir to the Swanson Frozen Teevee Dinner fortune, I'll bet Tucker doesn't drive a car, either. He has servants for that.

    1. HelmutNewton

      No, he has servants for housekeeping, food preparation, laundry, etc. He has chauffeurs to drive him and his brood around.

    2. Fukui-sanYesOta

      Hmmm, Tucker's new pad seems remarkably larger than Mr. Chu's:

      Journalist Tucker Carlson and his wife, Susan, traded houses. The couple sold a six-bedroom, eight-bath Colonial in Kent for $4 million. It has a heated pool, six fireplaces, and an in-law suite. Less than a mile away, also in Kent, they bought a seven-bedroom, six-bath Colonial for $2 million. The new house has a two-car garage and an au pair suite. The former host of CNN’s Crossfire and MSNBC’s Tucker, Carlson is cofounder and editor of the online news site the Daily Caller.

      edit: hey, is that a BMW 5-series in the driveway there?

    3. GliblyArcane

      When he's alone with his hot wheels and bi-curious finger puppets in his play room at night, he does however wear a tinfoil hat.

  10. neiltheblaze

    When are the FEMA camps coming? We should ask Michele Bachmann – she's right on top of all that.

  11. Callyson

    Fucker Snarlson is still around? Time to update Jon Stewart's quote:
    "You know what's interesting though? You're as big a dick online as you are on any show."

    1. poncho_pilot

      i was just asking myself, "Tucker Carlson is still a thing that's happening?"

      i wish i'd know earlier in life that professional asshole was a real job.

  12. EloquentScience

    Come on, Tucker. You can do better than that!

    Chu -> Chinese infiltrator -> not using a car so that the oil can all be used in China's drive to take over the world.

    Follow me?

  13. not that Dewey

    Is this one of those "bald barber/skinny chef" fake-non-hypocritical things? Like Al Gore being fat, or George Soros investing money?

    1. tessiee

      "bald barber/skinny chef"

      The only chef I know personally is quite thin; and, since she cooks all day long, hates to cook at home.

  14. gullywompr

    The Volt

    Left – great car, great idea to address our energy needs, government should support it, Chu is a visionary.

    Right – fire hazard piece of shit, global warming hoax, government is wasting my money, Chu is a hypocrite.

    Libertarian – could have worked if the invisible hand had built it, energy schmenergy, government should not exist at all, Chu is a fascist.

    1. Tundra Grifter


      Sheer uh "Am i uh An Idiot? uh InSannity was a big fan of the Volt. As long as GM was a major sponsor of his radio show.

      After GM dumped him, he hates those cars.

      Go figure!

  15. el_donaldo

    ew. You made me click on a Daily Caller link so I could see the Google streetview pic. They think a 325i is a scandal? Really?!?

    It's amazing how the story manages to be both irrelevant and stalker-creepy at the same time.

  16. Mumbletypeg

    Let me get this straight. Mrs. Chu's BMW is a 2002 model? She's been driving the same vehicle for 10 years and all Carlson can do it bitch about its fuel/mpg being "less-than-efficient"? Dry your tears Tucker and admit that, by well-applied frugal standards, the Chu's are practicing sensible consumerism by not replacing the damned family automobile every single year.

    1. Fare la Volpe

      "Why doesn't his daddy just buy him a new BMW when the tire blows out? Doesn't everyone do that?" -Tucker

  17. SorosBot

    I don't own a car either; not owning a car is a perfectly normal thing that millions of Americans do; or rather, don't do. Oh but we mostly live in the cities so I guess we're not "real Americans" to the right-wing asshats.

    1. sezme

      Hey me too! I rather enjoy the looks of quizzical disdain I get when people learn that I don't have a car. Also proud of not being a "real American" for what it's worth, because that seems to also entail gun-ownership and Jesus-worship.

      1. poncho_pilot

        it amuses to think how the right wing can go on about Americans being exceptional and blahblahblah but when any American steps out of line a little they release the hounds.

        because, you know, America is not at all a country with a history of eccentrics who changed the world by thinking differently and moving forward with their ideas despite what their critics said.

      2. SorosBot

        I guess I'm lucky that most of the people I know are also city dwellers and know that carlessness is perfectly normal; though I do have some cousins who live in Bumblefuck, MD that think it's somehow strange. But then one of them even drives a pickup truck and doesn't understand why I mock him for it.

        1. gullywompr

          As a resident of Bumblefuck, VA, I can assure you that pickups are pretty handy things to have available. Sometimes you have to go get a new tranny for the Camaro from the salvage yard. Try that on your recumbent bicycle, you effete latte-swilling sissy.

          1. SorosBot

            Do you have any idea what he even means? While I figure it's something other than the normal meaning of tranny, I have no clue what the hell it could be.

          2. SorosBot

            Why would someone call that a "tranny", a word that already has a completely different, more common meaning?

          3. Fukui-sanYesOta

            "Tranny" for transmission has been in use for decades and probably predates its use as a contraction of transvestite.

          4. Chichikovovich

            I imagine that in Bumblefuck VA, they see a lot of transmissions and need to be convinced of the existence of transsexuals from photographs. Unlike those of us who live in Sodom USA, for whom it's mostly the other way around.

          5. gullywompr

            We use trannies as lawn ornaments in these parts. They are either going to be fixed or sold… someday…

          6. gullywompr

            Fuckin'-A right, Chick! What, did these faggots take home economics rather than autoshop? Jesus Skullfucking Christ!

            PS. Van Halen, not Van Hagar.

          7. SorosBot

            Why would your Camaro need a transsexual, and why would you pick one up from a salvage yard?

          8. gullywompr

            The Camaro doesn't actually need one, but I enjoy a little company whilst cruising the Dairy Queen parking lot. Salvage yards are hotbeds of activity out here in Bumblefuck. Meet me there at noon, we can pick out used wiper assemblies together.

          9. tessiee

            "pickups are pretty handy things to have available"

            Don't remember who said this, but:
            "A pickup truck on a farm or a building site is a tool. A pickup truck parked in front of the nail salon at the mall is being *driven* by a tool."

        2. finallyhappy

          Bumblefuck, MD- I think I know that place-near the PA line where there are Confederate flags and big Palin signs during the last election.

  18. JackDempsey1

    As a Nobel Prize winner, he was awarded a cadre of (mostly foreign-born) graduate students who lift him ~8 inches off the ground and transport him to meetings, the grocery store, etc. Why would he need a car?
    Maybe for the sound system.

    1. LetUsBray

      Why would he need a sound system? Can't some of the graduate students form an acapella chorus?

  19. HistoriCat

    When are those FEMA camps coming again please?

    I keep asking that question and can't get an answer. This proves Obama is morally weak.

      1. Chichikovovich

        Actually I'm starting to find some cogency in that argument. What else could bring anyone to put up with such a tsunami of morons except the knowledge that it is just a matter of time….

  20. BornInATrailer

    So I guess this means today I don't want a retard to fall out of the sky on Tucker Carlson, breaking his neck, while he figuratively skull-fucks political journalism?

  21. Warwhatgoodfor

    I do own one – a 2008 Smart car. Loads of fun, and designed for the curvy narrow city roads in Italy. Very maneuverable, tight steering, and brakes that would stop a semi. While I do get tired of the cracks form massive truck/SUV drivers when I pull into a parking space, I do love blowing past BMWs at 85 mph on the highway. I mean, what self respecting cop is going to pull over something the size of a golf cart?

      1. Warwhatgoodfor

        Maintainance is once a year. I have mine done at the local Goodyear since the dealership is forty miles away. Four years old next month, and no problems at all. It does use premium, but for a one liter engine developing 71 horse power and 35 mpg city, I'm not complaining. Fully loaded with sun roof, 15k. And it is fully loaded. This is not my old VW bug, although that was a lot fun also.

        1. gullywompr

          I love me some short wheelbase. Beetle was my first car, also had a MG Midget. I've seen videos of Smartcars with Huyabusa engines in them that just scream. Been thinking of letting the Ford Ranger rest in the driveway for a while and going smaller – those Fiat 500's look nice to me, although the reviews are not stellar.

          Oops, looks like I forgot to say something snarky. Next time, I promise.

          1. Fukui-sanYesOta

            I don't get the hate for the Fiat 500 in the US – Europeans love 'em, especially the Abarth version. I've driven one in London and it's perfect for that environment; nippy and responsive.

            Not sure on fitting a gun rack to them, of course.

          2. gullywompr

            They have fantastic styling, to my eye. But Autoweek, Consumer Reports, and Car And Driver all panned it's acceleration and braking distance – while the former is of no concern to me at my age, the latter is a bit troubling. And the mileage is not quite what you'd expect for a small car in this century. I'm thinking: wait for next year's model.

    1. comrad_darkness

      Times must be a changing. I never got pulled over in my 85mph escort for (I always assumed) the same reason.

  22. mavenmaven

    I don't get it, the scoop is a picture from 2009 Google Earth? Is that proof of anything? Note the "outing" of Chu's possibly Hebraic wife with the "(née Fetter)" scoop. Wonder if she also read… Saul Alinsky?!?!?!

    1. Geminisunmars

      What I gathered is that Chu is a hypocrite because nee Fetter owns a ten year old car that doesn't get fabulous mileage, and how come he lives in an expensive area, he must make too much money, or maybe needs a raise because they have an old car, and it is all Obama's fault for having tree-hugging sec of energy. Couldn't be clearer, could it.

      1. anniegetyerfun

        He makes too much money for a gov't employee. If he were a criminal banker, that'd be different. Free market!

        1. Designer_Rants

          Glenn Beck's stage manager: We need the following 8"x11" photographs for the chalkboard tonight:
          -Osama Bin Laden
          -Steven Chu
          -2002 BMW
          -Kevin Bacon
          -Small Limp Penis with the words "Solar Panels" tattooed on it

      2. tessiee

        "how come he lives in an expensive area, he must make too much money"

        To paraphrase the former Mr. Tessie:
        If *they* live in the expensive neighborhood, it means they're successful. If *we* live in the expensive neighborhood, it means I'm getting paid too much.

  23. Chichikovovich

    I think Carlson is right to be upset.

    [Story is somewhat snarked-up but in its essentials true.]
    When I was an assistant professor I taught at Berkeley for awhile and one thing I remember is parking. It was impossible. To buy a space from the University was prohibitively expensive, private lots were even worse. However, Nobel Laureates and Fields Medal winners got their own spaces, with their names on them. But I walked to the U, which was fine, but on crappy days could be a bit of a drag.

    One term the walk from my office to the classroom took me past two of the awarded slots that were always empty. One was Steve Smale's – I later learned he was away that term. The other was some physicist whose name I could never remember. Three times a week that empty spot taunted me. When it was raining hard the spot mocked me. But every MWF in the afternoon, the slot was there. Sometimes, at other times, I would purposely walk to where I was going along that path, just to see if it was empty. It always was. I began to suspect that Nobelist-whose-name-I-can't-remember didn't even have a car.

    I bet it was Chu. I hate that guy.

    1. unclejeems

      I wish we had a Nobel laureate at my place, so I could walk past her/his empty parking space with her/his name on it. Sigh.

      1. Chichikovovich

        Class warfare!

        [Edit: Though I'm now at a place that would have had a Nobel Laureate, if the fools hadn't denied him tenure when he was an assistant prof.]

          1. Chichikovovich

            Just our luck that this was the one time in history when all the fools in fact did get shown.—

    2. tessiee

      "parking. It was impossible. To buy a space from the University was prohibitively expensive"

      Campus parking, to quote Shakespeare, sucks the root.
      We often had patients/clients call to complain about the lack of parking, and since I answered the phone, I always agreed with them, usually to their surprise.

      The number of parking spaces awarded to a department was based on the total seniority of everyone who worked in the department. I had more than 10 years in the system, but since I was the newest person *in that department*, I didn't get a parking space. This made it necessary for me to pay $200./month for a commercial space (on my 12 buck an hour "salary"), and walk 25 minutes to my office.

      Perhaps I'm unpeaceful, but one of the best things about having to quit a job I otherwise liked was taking away the parking spaces I earned but didn't get to use.

    3. berkeleyfarm

      I was going to say "Steve Smale got a spot?" but then I read " … and Fields Medal winners".

      Do they just give him the N sticker like the others?

      For those of you Elsewhere, the Cal Laureates generally say that the parking spot is the preferred perk. The regular Cal stickers are merely a hunting permit; there aren't enough spaces for them all.

      (A pal of mine is a daughter of a Laureate. I ooohed and ahhhed when she drove over once, in a car her dad had given her, complete with stickers.)

  24. chascates

    I imagine all cabinet secretaries have drivers and limos, just like they're a big deal or something. May I also point out that Robert Novak is still dead and no longer running people down in the streets (or sidewalks) of DC.

  25. glamourdammerung

    I am trying really hard to see what kind of point Tucker is trying desperately to make here and I just do not "get it". Maybe he is running some kind of random content generator?

  26. smashedinhat

    HA! Tucker Carlson. Anyone else remember when he went after Chuckles the video store clerk and got him fired? I hate this guy.

    1. C_R_Eature

      I remember him coming up with an obviously made-up story about getting propositioned in a Men's room, Becoming Appalled, running to get a friend,coming back and kicking the shit out of the guy. I don't have the desire or the patience to look it up, but Jon Stewart ripped it apart to great comedic effect.

      1. tessiee

        "an obviously made-up story about getting propositioned in a Men's room, Becoming Appalled"

        To paraphrase a similar story about Winston Churchill, Tucker Carlson is not attractive enough to have those kinds of worries.

        1. C_R_Eature

          Churchill was awesome and he would have stomped that pasty little trust fund coward right into the Terra. While drunk.

  27. BarackMyWorld

    I thought of about 5 or 6 puns using the name "Chu" to respond to this story with, but I am sad to report that none of them were even close to being funny.

    Therefore, enjoy this bit of wisdom instead.

    1. Mumbletypeg

      bit of wisdom


      Others here besides me probably check in on James Howard Kunstler's unmitigated, weekly-waged tirade on the subject of our dependence on oil (& other fatal survival schemes), but his latest gives a summary-perspective, using the same ebullient language followed by *gasp!* well spoken, intelligent-seeming commenters by the gazillion.

      1. BarackMyWorld

        That's a little more pessimism than I can swallow, but…yeah, shale is probably even more difficult to make into fuel than the dreaded algae.

      2. not that Dewey

        That's great. That was depressing as shit. Now I know where to turn when I start missing Ken too much.

        But the timing is good — Mrs D was just planting some potatoes in our soon-to-be subsistence garden, because she read an article on the Internet about all the toxins in standard store-bought potatoes, and I'm doing a DIY VHF-UHF antenna so we can get digital TV broadcasts from 90 miles away — challenging, because I'm kind of fighting the curve of the Earth. But it receives PBS, so all is good.

        I think we'll be prepared when the teapocalypse comes.

    2. tessiee

      "I thought of about 5 or 6 puns using the name "Chu" to respond to this story with, but I am sad to report that none of them were even close to being funny."

      This isn't exactly a pun on "Chu", but it's the best I can come up with at the moment:
      Nameless old Jewish guy who's friends with Grandpa Simpson (paying for purchase at Kwik-E-Mart): Here you go, Achoo.
      Apu: It's Apu.
      OJG: Wha?
      Apu: It's A-PU, not A-CHOO.
      OJG: At my age, I have trouble with both.

    1. payton

      He actually used to at his last job, but the Secret Service won't allow it anymore.

      The faux class warfare (the security detail! the decade-old BMW!) is particularly rich, since Tucker Carlson lives in a much more plush neighborhood, with 8 bathrooms and a heated pool. These are the same people who thought nothing of Dick Cheney having his own fleet of black helicopters and secret underground mineshaft Undisclosed Location, and who've wasted billions of dollars on security follies like TSA and fortifying or BRACing every single federal office.

    1. LetUsBray

      The problem with wishing someone dies lonely and alone is that it makes it impossible to verify that the cause was comically noisy and malodorous exploding diarrhea, as was my fond wish for the individual in question.

  28. C_R_Eature

    Golly, how did I miss this Right Wing Freakout? I must have been distracted by the RW Contraception freakout, the RW Abortion freakout, the RW Anthropogenic Climate Change freakout, the RW EPA Mercury emission standards freakout, the RW Keystone Pipeline approval freakout, the RW Western water allocation freakout, the RW Land use standards freakout, the RW Food Stamp Fraud freakout, the RW Debt & Deficit Freakout, the RW Gold Standard freakout, the RW Obama -Bell Radical Terrorist Hug videotape freakout and the RW Breitbart was Murdered freakout.
    Clearly, I'm falling behind.

    EDIT: Tucker Carlson is a Sphincter Boy. IMHO.

    1. 102415

      Maybe we should tranq them real good after we gather them into the FEMA camps before we try the rehabing? Clicker training and treats will work with dogs but not if they are *sensitized* and afraid. I hope my special friend/stalker is at home today following my every thought here.

      1. C_R_Eature

        In honor of Peter Bergman, today we will be referring to the "Reeducation" process at the camps as being "Returned for Regrooving"

        And yes, we do have Plans for these people. They'll find out. Ah, ha ha ha hahahha…

      1. C_R_Eature

        What…another one!? I'm going to have to rethink this whole OCD News Junkie behavior, as it's evident it's not helping. It's almost too much for a synthetic digital electronic avatar to bear.

    2. NellCote71

      They are a bunch of fainting couch ladies, aren't they? They remind me of my lazy, self-absorbed dog who barks at neighbors getting into their own cars in their own driveways. After barking at their audacity, she marches back inside, all chest puffed out and full of self-importance.

      1. C_R_Eature

        Well, at least your dog has an honest job to do – alerting the Pack Leader that stuff is happening outside. Your dog never lies about the stuff happening outside, shuts up when it's over and doesn't leave a residue of Cheeto crumbs and sex fluids all over your keyboard like those Daily Caller people.

  29. owhatever

    Another thunderous piece of rightwingnut investigative journalism. Next, the trolls will unearth hidden video of that snob Chu not only hugging, but kissing, his wife. Unimportant, thinkest thous? It will prove Obama wants to give America to China. Hah.

    1. Makinglifehell

      Yes, but due to recent changes in etiquette policy, they must now be referred to as 'special needs' tire places.

  30. Biff

    Why doesn't Carlson expose why Obama wants us to pay $10/gal for gas, huh?
    This is an actual argument I've had with very stupid people that live perilously close to me.
    See, when gas gets that expensive, we'll all buy Government Motors Volts, and they have no doubt Obama has stock and will become fabulously wealthy at our expense! But hold on, China has cornered the market on rare earth, so we're beholden to them for batteries and such, so yeah, let's just roll over to our new Chinese overlords, who also pay Obama handsomely. See, he can't lose, which is why he needs to be a one-term president. Are you following this?

  31. tessiee

    Haven't even glanced at this post yet, but I have to say I'm loving the reference to "Pucker up, Buttercup".

  32. anniegetyerfun

    Can we discuss how this article started?

    In a piece of video that shot across the Internet Thursday like a sports car doing zero-to-60 in four seconds, Energy Secretary Stephen Chu told the House Subcommittee on Energy and Power that he does not own a car.

    Well, at least that wasn't hamfisted in any sense.

  33. anniegetyerfun

    OK, which of you jokers is the Daily Caller commenter who suggests that the entire administration should undergo a trial by a jury of "piers"?

    1. C_R_Eature

      Dunno, but there's plenty of short ones down in my parts Tucker can take a nice long walk on.

    2. Veritas78

      That's either New Jersey mob justice, or that Morgan guy is moonlighting as a juror-for-hire.

  34. RadioStalingrad

    Nothing like throwing a wrench in their works, But BMW is actually a green-oriented company. Their plants are 100% sustainable. For instance the one in South Caroliny uses methane from a nearby land fill.
    And guess what? My 535 xi champagne socialist nazi car gets 28 mpg on the highway. Can we still call the Daily Caller a bunch of fuckwads?

    1. C_R_Eature

      We don't need "Facts" to call these Daily Callerites Fuckwads. But it does make it that much more Fun.

    1. gullywompr

      James Bond in The Man With The Golden Gun, GoldenEye, Tomorrow Never Dies, and The World Is Not Enough?

  35. An_Outhouse

    Don't the terrorists know where Stephen Chu (rhymes with Jew ) lives now? Should Fucker Carlson be exported? or will Holder take him out with a drone? (not to be confused with skull fucking him with a machine gun).

    1. An_Outhouse

      UPDATE: "Chu is driven to work every day through the courtesy of a security detail, with taxpayers footing the bill"

      which now will need to be a bit larger and more expensive. Thanks, Fucker and your Caller!!

      1. C_R_Eature

        I seem to remember some tiny provision in the National Defense Authorization Act – something about U.S. Citizens, something something terrorism, extraordinary rendition, something like that. I'm sure it wasn't important.

  36. randcoolcatdaddy

    What has the country come to when we have a Secretary of State that doesn't own her own third world country? I mean, really…

  37. Tundra Grifter

    Don'tcha love the way the right wing nutz spin an obvious fact into something negative about Mr. Obama and his Administration?

    Actually, I don't actually like it much, either. I do continue to be amazed by it.

    TDC writes “Since he is a member of President Obama’s cabinet, Chu is driven to work every day through the courtesy of a security detail, with taxpayers footing the bill.”

    Like every cabinet member hasn't been driven to work since Warren Harding was President? They toss in that "…with taxpayers footing the bill" like Mr. Obama personally decided to pee on all their money.


  38. Chet Kincaid

    The mainstream "gotcha" media is "controlled" by liberals because conservatives are too fucking stupid to know what an effective "gotcha" actually is.

  39. Chet Kincaid

    I do not click on Blanche Carlson's Gentleman Caller. His Upper Class Money background restrains him from going full-on batshit crazy like Breitbart, and the world does not need a conservative version of Salon/Slate/Daily Beast (who can tell them apart, anyway?).

    1. Designer_Rants

      I really can't tell Salon and Slate apart. I was just thinking yesterday that there's a really good article I stumbled upon about Ayn Rand, and I wouldn't even know which of those two to try to find it on again.

      1. tessiee

        It's been awhile since I glanced at either, but I remember Salon as being a bit more "USA Today"-ish than Slate, with some really appalling comments on some of the articles.

  40. Dashboard Buddha

    “Since he is a member of President Obama’s cabinet, Chu is driven to work every day through the courtesy of a security detail, with taxpayers footing the bill.”

    He didn't really say that, did he? Seriously? This is either this is award winning stupid, or they just don't care what kind of lie they tell. Fuck, what are they supposed to ride…mopeds? What did Bush's people ride? If Barry ever puts his foot up on the desk, I bet the folks will go nuts, just like they did when every other president in the history of US presidents put the feet up. Oh, wait.

  41. glamourdammerung

    I can not imagine why Chu would require a security detail "on the taxpayer dime". It is not like there is at least two cable "news" channels that try to incite violence against members of the Obama administration or anything. Oh wait….

  42. Walkinwiddaking

    Wow. A 2002 beemer…how extravagant. How does Tucker get transported around D.C.? Anybody? Anybody?

  43. valthemus

    Chu and his colleagues figured out laser cooling and brought me to the brink of being a full-on physics groupie. For Tucker the Dancing Wonder Schmuck to be casting aspersions and criticizing Chu is like a meth addict making fun of someone for still having all their teeth… it pretty much satirizes itself. Kudos to Tuckster for making life so much easier for Wonketteers!

    1. tessiee

      "For Tucker the Dancing Wonder Schmuck to be casting aspersions"

      You know who else likes to cast Persians?

  44. NYNYNYjr

    What did the Jew say to the Chinee? Hey, fellow elitist, don't sit there, that seat's covered in vomit.

  45. Negropolis

    Kind of tangential to this, I'm kind of mad at GM in who they rolled out the Volt, and how they've played with their workers' lives at the Hamtramck plant in Detroit. They didn't put the charging infrastructure in place before they rolled it out to prepare it for the market, and the price-point is still too high even with the tax credit provided for it. It was doomed before they ever rolled it out because of this. They thought they could get by on marketing and good feelings. It almost reminds me of how they did the EV1, how they half-ass the projects they should really be going all in on. The first compromise was making this an extended-range hybrid instead of trying to play with the big boys and going all electric. Now, you have hybrids that get the same mileage as this "electric".

    I just hate how this is reminding me of the old GM. 1,300 workers were layed off at the plant, the other day, for at least five weeks, after months and months of being honored by the company, all the while knowing things weren't going well.

  46. Negropolis

    The only thing good to come out of Tucker's depraved world is Rachel Maddow. How she survived that is a testament to her tenacity and natural talents.

  47. Jennyjen798

    A successful American living below their means? How scandalous! That ain't how we do it here in the good ol' U.S. of A., git a rope boys!

Comments are closed.