genius

WI GOP Lawmakers Have Bright Idea: Just Ban Pesky Recalls

And boy is he hard to flush.

Irate constituents are just the worst, aren’t they? Republican lawmakers in the Wisconsin state Assembly are grown weary of all this recall mischief, and they refuse to be victimized by voters any longer. Why do Wisconsinites fail to understand how governing is very difficult work, like for example how you can develop carpal tunnel syndrome copy-pasting the seventy hundred ALEC memos that David Koch poops out to his spam list each day into the draft legislation template to send over to the Capitol? IT IS TOUGH. But since you jerks refuse to chill out, the Wisconsin state Assembly has passed a bill proposing a constitutional amendment banning recall elections unless an elected official has been “charged with a serious crime or if there is a finding of probable cause that they violated the state code of ethics.” Why didn’t anyone think of this before?

The bill will probably never pass, and even if it does the voters of Wisconsin would have to approve it, which they won’t, but the point is, whining:

Republican supporters, including the amendment’s sponsor Rep. Robin Vos, R-Caledonia, argued changes are needed to limit recalls given the flurry of such efforts over the past year. Republicans have said Walker and the others are being unfairly targeted simply for doing their job.

So LIGHTEN UP, Wisconsin. It’s almost like you people don’t want Republicans doing their jobs or something, sheesh. [AP]

Sponsored Video
Related

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

282 comments

    1. ProgressiveInga

      As in, "I would have been here right after you called, but I had to shake the weasels"?

      1. Callyson

        A…friend once got the weasels. Itched like nothing else. Took three days for the cream to work.

          1. poncho_pilot

            yeah, i know this guy, Nacho Nightlight. everyone thinks he's gay and/or creepy. he's a really nice guy, though–when he's not being an asshole.

    2. flamingpdog

      "Weasling out of work is important to learn; it is what separates humans from animals. Except for weasels." – Homer Simpson

    3. Negropolis

      Weasel, badger, meh, they are all mustelids. Scott Walker's from Wisconsin, so he's a badger. I'll tell you that he's not a honey badger, though, 'cause he most certainly does "give a shit," that petty, little, cross-eyed mustelid bastard.

          1. Negropolis

            Screw that. I'd like to see him have to sit through a days-long marathon of Nicholas Cage movies. Either that, or be forced to watch Kevin Costner's Waterworld on a loop of the same duration as the Nick Cage marathon.

          2. poncho_pilot

            Waterworld is not nearly that bad. at least as far as bad movies go.

            Vampire's Kiss, however? *shudder*

      1. mrpuma2u

        Well yeah, 'natch, but the whole term is godless socialist Union thug that hatez uhMERHRikkka.

  1. ChernobylSoup

    It's not that the current crop of douchebag government leaders in Wisconsin violated the public trust in deference to corporate interests, it's that the recall itself became self aware and just cold started attacking elected officials.

    1. fitley

      Actually it is the douchebags, really. Like the sign shows, you CAN be a piece of shit with a head stuck on it but that doesn't mean you deserve to govern. I'm sure other pieces of shit are impressed…but still.

      1. tessiee

        "And these are my kids: Sarah, Ashley, and Corey. *lowers voice* Corey isn't quite right; he was born with a peanut in his head." — Mr. Hankey

    2. MrFizzy

      If someone from Faux News reads this, you're going to see it trumpeted on the network for a week, but not as satire.

  2. SheriffRoscoe

    Pardon me, but isn't it the same electorate calling for Walker's recall that elected him to office in the first place? Maybe the punishment should be to endure him for a full term, and republican asshole governors would find themselves an endangered species, at least in Wisconsin.

      1. SheriffRoscoe

        Yep. I've had a bee in my bonnet about this ever since Darrel Issa started the recall effort here in California, resulting in the governator's commendable efforts of running the state into the ground.

        1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

          my father was born and raised in the governator's native country. The fact that California actually elected him Governor is a subject of much amusement among my aunts/uncles/cousins. They go on and on about it.

        2. tessiee

          "the recall effort here in California"

          I do feel compelled to point out that there's a difference between a recall movement started by the voters vs. yet another Republican effort to overturn a legitimate election because the other guy won.

          1. Fukui-sanYesOta

            The recall movement in California was, in my understanding, mostly caused by those rolling blackouts – the lack of ability for the governor to prevent that most egregious of violations of personal energy-rights.

            Of course, all that was all truly caused by a market-based solution by Texas-based company Enron.

            Fuck Republicans.

          2. redarmyzombie

            OT, there's reasons why we Californians hate Texas…It is the Mordor to our fair Shire

          3. Designer_Rants

            I remember back in 1997 (cue flashback chimes), I had an after-school job as a telemarketer, and sometimes I was great at it. I got a guy on the phone who said I had a great 'voice and delivery' or something, and he proceeded to tell me all about Energy Deregulation (Whatever The Fuck that is, I thought) and how awesome it is, and would I like to work for him as a phone salesman? Then he sent me a neat propaganda videotape with a cardboard box cover with an eagle and a flag on it. I must have got busy chasing girls around and forgot about the amazing job opportunity available to me. In retrospect, thankfully.

          4. tessiee

            OK, listen carefully, Timmy. If you ever see that man again, I want you to stay away from him. If he comes around, tell Mommy and Daddy, or get a policeman. And whatever you do, DON'T get in his van!!

          5. PsycWench

            How many terrible decisions were young men spared because they got distracted chasing girls, anyway?

    1. Chichikovovich

      True, and they were very foolish to do that. But the one reason why recall elections make sense, is in cases where a slate of candidates campaign on a quite bland, non-committal platform, taking advantage of a national wave in an off year, and then the minute they are installed with more or less unchecked power, try to bring in a raft of enormous changes (eliminating collective bargaining for state employees, for example) justified on completely fraudulent grounds, and coming up with dishonest legal manoevres to circumvent the rest what little opposition can be drummed up by opposition parties (no quorum, etc.).

      WIthin fifteen seconds of getting the keys to the governors office, Walker and his minions set out to radically transform the state into a showpiece of ALEC legislation, without having breathed even a hint of these plans during the campaign.

      So although I tend to be sympathetic to the "you wanted this, you deserve to get it good and hard" I do think cases like this are what justify recalls in the first place.

      That will have the advantage of making it clear to asshole Republicans that there is a limit to how much you can do the stealth-campaign and then demolition crew administration trick.

      1. SheriffRoscoe

        Maybe if we could, you know, ask candidates questions during campaign season and demand that they answer them, we could save ourselves a lot of trouble. Seems every time a reporter asks an office seeker a question they don't like, they just turn it back on the questioner (gotcha question, lamestream media etc.) and the public sides with the candidate.

        1. Chichikovovich

          True, but again, it's harder to combat this when the candidate does answer the questions, and simply flatly lies. Given the sheer black-is-white dishonesty of Walker's every utterance since taking office, I'm sure that if asked about collective bargaining before the election, he would have said straight out: “of course that's not in our plans. Certainly not. We do hope to be able to address any budget crises flexibly, of course, and so we don't want to rule out any options before we have a chance to assess the situation with the true numbers at our disposal but, (blah blah)” That is – deny outright, but then leave a smokescreen with a tiny out clause that you can point to later. Though in fact, Walker's deny/deny/deny strategy is so thoroughgoing that he might not even have bothered with the hidden, befogged out clause.That's what recalls are in place to guard against.—

        2. MissNancyPriss

          Or else stick lie detectors on their heads and find out what they really think abot this and that. Everyone just LIES all the damn time.

          1. redarmyzombie

            Eh, hate to be Buzzkillington here, but lie detectors only work when the subject feels anxiety or guilt…

      2. Fukui-sanYesOta

        Yeah, this is exactly the problem. Walker campaigned on a reasonably standard (for Republicans) "jerbs and no abortions" platform, including

        "Walker said he would create 250,000 jobs in his first term through a program that would include tax reforms"

        and then went full ALEC. This is what recalls are all about – his campaign platform bore very little resemblance to his actions on gaining the governorship.

        Also, I'm glad people are finally waking up to this vicious ALEC agenda.

        1. SheriffRoscoe

          I don't want to see good people hurting, but! I am saying let it be a lesson. Sometimes lessons can be hard.

          Republicans are not looking, first and foremost, after the interests of working people and labor unions. That's no secret! If you want to vote for a republican because he or she seems to "share your moral values", or is or is not of a certain race, or seems to be a person you might like to share a beer with, or is a Conservative, or goes or doesn't go to a certain church, or thinks educated people are snobby, or any of the other bullshit reasons blue-collar people give for voting GOP, well, I say fuck em. Let them get bent over a few times and fucked good and dry. They voted against their own interests. What's the matter with Kansas, etc.

          And then I'll wish them luck after all's said and done.

          1. Fukui-sanYesOta

            Oh, I'll always wish 'em well.

            I do think a lot of the Republican voters actually fall for these lies about lower taxation for businesses stimulating the economy and so on.

            Sure, you vote "morals" or whatever crap and you kinda deserve the results when you're laid off and your job shipped to a different country. I feel more sorry for people who have bought the decades of economic lies. The problem has to be in education of the populace, right? Right?

            Meh, perhaps Dunning and Kruger are right and we're all fucked. Lies wrapped in a narrative of bootstraps and rugged individualism are too strong a tonic and they'll always be swallowed.

            OK, I'm going for a drink.

          2. Designer_Rants

            Fukui-san, I'm really not stalking you this morning (on purpose). But, great link:

            Let’s say a politician comes up with an ingenious plan that would ensure universal health care while decreasing health care costs.

            According to Dunning-Kruger, no matter how much information is provided, the unsophisticated would 1) be incapable of recognizing the wisdom of such a plan; 2) assume they know better; and 3) have no idea of the extent of their inadequacy.

            In other words, stupid people are too stupid to know how stupid they are.

    2. Designer_Rants

      The state that brought us McCarthy? They got Ugly Conservatism born and bred into them. It will take generations of Learnin' the Hard Way before voting Republican is a statewide no-no. But by then they'll have had so many Repub Govs that they'll be an illiterate mutant race, busy building arks and trying to round up all the dinosaurs to save them from jeebus' Rain Wrath. Nobody wins in Wisc.

      1. SheriffRoscoe

        I think that's true for vast, huge swaths of America.

        I'm going to go drink with Fukui San. Have a nice weekend!

      2. MilwaukeeKent

        We brought McCarthy at the same time that a Socialist was mayor of Milwaukee, before that we brought you Fighting Bob LaFollette, most of Progressivism, workers comp., unemployment insurance, AFSCME, etc. Weird place, full of ghosts and ghouls as well. What these Walker folks have going for them is a slim margin of 10,000 to 15,000 alienated white exurbanites in two counties around Milwaukee. The national GOP just lost that margin for them by scaring the bejesus out of 20% or more of that female vote that would have gone their way, plus 50% or more of female independents. Thank three men: Roy Blunt, Rick Santorum and Rush Limbaugh.

        1. Designer_Rants

          I sure hope you're right, that despite all the awful things the righties want to do to this country because it would take us back to their delusional Leave It To Beaver 1950s desert oasis-mirage fever dream of an America that never actually was, maybe the Republican War On Women has finally turned off enough of their constituents.

          BTW, I wasn't just attacking your state of Wisconsin. If my state of Iowa didn't have a Democratic majority Senate Statehouse, I'm sure they'd be union-busting here, too. The Repub House is already purposefully underfunding the Judiciary because: Teh Gheyz. We were the 3rd state to legalize gay marriage because the IA supreme court unanimously ruled that an anti-gay marriage law was unconstitutional. And because they're Activist Judges, obvs. And, even though we have a schoolhouse on our state quarter, they've been trying to kill education funding for years, to wipe that smug schoolhouse right off said quarter. Oh, and instead of funding the 3rd branch of gov't to encourage a Separation of Powers, or funding education; our House has been trying to pass a Constitutional Amendment to make sure gunz are given to babbys when they're born, or something, because: Freedom.

          So if voters in Wisc. are waking up, I sure hope it's a catching condition.

          1. finallyhappy

            IOWA_ I had another IOWA discussion this week about my possible visit to the Quad Cities.

        2. tessiee

          "We brought McCarthy at the same time that a Socialist was mayor of Milwaukee, before that we brought you Fighting Bob LaFollette, most of Progressivism, workers comp., unemployment insurance, AFSCME, etc. Weird place"

          It's my impression that Kansas has some of that going on, too. Neither truly liberal nor truly conservative, an unlikely mix of stone age reactionary and honest to god grassroots populist progressive.

          1. MilwaukeeKent

            Similar history, Kansas fell earlier. I read Thomas Frank's magnificent "What's The Matter With Kansas" not long before Walker got elected Gov., now I'm all "WTF Happened to Wisconsin?".

          2. Negropolis

            Kansas is gone, my friend, and has been for years. They've had Dem govs, but only when they've been tricked.

    3. fitley

      Actually a lot of the people that elected him are butt hurt about the whole recall thing. They don't feel chumped for some odd reason. They must not be self-aware.

      1. Chichikovovich

        I would assume that there must be some such feeling like that. Even a gang as incompetent as the Walker people do the standard focus-testing of message, and since they are really hammering the "recall – bad!" theme (even though there is some counter-attack exposure there, since Walker himself was elected in Milwaukee as a result of a recall and had no problem with that) you have to assume that this is the best they've got. Every time Walker opens his mouth, it seems people hate him more. The stripping of collective bargaining is so unpopular that Walker keeps trying to plant the idea that people are upset about the wage and benefit concessions that the unions in fact were expressly willing to make. Not one of the things that people are upset about was even hinted at before the election, so they can't say "Hey, people voted for these changes". Things are getting better on the job front in the rest of the country, but Wisconsin is still hobbling, and rejecting federal money for high-speed rail looks even worse now.

        But apparently, if properly spun, "Recalls for "doing our job" – bad" is getting a bit of traction. So they're running with it, because it's all they've got. Besides shouting "unions" every 15 seconds, and initiating intra-class warfare between public employees and the private employees whose pay and benefits have already been smushed by Walker's paymasters.

        1. horsedreamer_1

          Bingo! The Milwaukee County Exec recall, which, in retrospect, was as much the future PolitiFact crew at the Journal-Sentinel getting priapic, is the trump of this. The same dinghus looking to ban recalls is the greatest beneficiary of them. Kind of like pharmaceutical companies that want to "reform" patent law to give themselves a monopoly in perpetuity.

    4. MrFizzy

      Just remember, fucking "W" got elected twice. Proving yourself a completely incompetent, oily piece of incoherent shit means that half the population probably still loves you.

  3. Chillatte

    "Republican supporters, including the amendment’s sponsor Rep. Robin Vos, R-Caledonia"

    "Caledonia" sounds like some kind of imaginary magical land Republicans like to live in.

      1. Chichikovovich

        I hate him. I hate him just the same
        Crazy from that weasel cause Walker is his name

        1. tessiee

          ^^
          ^
          That's a fairly awesome way to start the day.
          Is it me, or were there a lot of black musicians in the jazz age who made what would later be known as music videos? Louis Jourdan, Cab Calloway, Fats Waller, Jimmy Rushing, et. al.? There's a rare movie clip of Bessie Smith singing sadly to the actor playing her boyfriend; and although I can't watch it without thinking, "if any guy had *really* treated Bessie that way, she would have knocked him on his ass!"; it's absolutely spellbinding.

          Anyway, if you like that kind of old jazz and blues, they're worth looking for on youtube (also, Josephine Baker dancing).

  4. fitley

    You can tell the people of Wisconsin have gone too far. Look at the signs they make. They could have just drawn a Hitler mustache on Scott Walker but noooo, they had to attach his head to a shiny steaming turd exclamation point ! That really crosses the line. White trash can respect Hitler but I don't think they can really relate to personified stools. C'mon kids get serious.

    1. mrpuma2u

      I personally am DEEPLY offended that these atheist protesters are clearly twisting a beloved and revered Christmas symbol (Mr. Hanky) for their own selfish political gain. This is why people hate liberals.

  5. gullywompr

    Quit pussyfooting around, WI GOP – just ban elections period and get it over with.

  6. GuanoFaucet

    Why don't they just turn the state into one giant company town and be done with it? They could call it Wiskochsin.

  7. Slim_Pickins

    So Wisconsin doesn't have an impeachment process for elected officials that are charged with a serious crime? Who knew?

    I am reminded of a modifications to the "Escape to Wisconsin" bumper stickers of generation ago. The modification? 'piss on Wis.'

  8. Abernathy

    "Rep. Robin Vos, R-Caledonia argued changes are needed to limit recalls given the flurry of such efforts over the past year"

    Good point, Vos: you don't need to limit people's rights until they start exercising them.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Yes. And the change is: Next time you are going to bring in a radical agenda right after the election is over, make sure you say something about your plans before the election.

      Or there will be a flurry of such recall efforts.

      You're welcome, Rep. Vos. You can send my cheque for this valuable information to Chichikovovich, c/o Wonkette.

    2. horsedreamer_1

      Vos Deferens is a 90s styled Contract on America GOP who reps the whitest — & craziest — Chocolate City in America, Burlington, Wisc. These are people who loath unions, then remind all their friends that the corporate hospital is trying to bust up the union, so, please, put this sign critical of Aurora Medical in your yard, to show your support for your neighbor's right to game the system into 55$ an hour "critical shift" pay.

      Basically, Vos is perfectly representative of his entitled Cracker electorate: they & he got theirs, fuck all the rest of us.

  9. SorosBot

    "Republicans have said Walker and the others are being unfairly targeted"

    No, their targetting has been completely fair; for trying to destroy the entire state.

    1. redarmyzombie

      Tell me, am I alone in thinking that Republican administration in Wisconsin is more and more starting to resemble a Communist mini-state?

  10. chascates

    How about this: instead of recall elections or term limits all politicians are injected with a fatal, slow-acting poison upon taking office. Each week they would be given the antidote as long as their approval rating is above 50% among their constituents.

    At the end of the their political career, of course, the antidotes stop and they die. Tough but fair.

    1. IceCreamEmpress

      I think all reality shows should adopt this principle as well. Or media in general, actually.

    2. Negropolis

      50%?! Hell, no one would ever make it out of office.

      I think I see where you're going with this…oh, no. You've gotten me in trouble again; I'm sure of it.

  11. KennyFuckingPowers

    The odds of this guy getting past summer are between slim and fuckin' none. I mean he might be able to walk around and shit like some kind of asshole Jebus Savior Zombie or something for a few days after Easter. Dickweed! But he is fucking outa here! You know right after that. Fuckin'A.

    1. tessiee

      "he might be able to walk around and shit"

      My observation of Scott Walker is that it's a good day for him if he doesn't walk around and shit at the same time.

  12. pinkocommi

    "the Wisconsin state Assembly has passed a bill proposing a constitutional amendment banning recall elections"

    Why stop there? Why not ban all elections and serve out the rest of your lives in peace unmolested by the fickle will of voters?

  13. BlueStateLibel

    This reminds me of when, in a last belated effort, King Louie and Marie tried to outlaw the guillotine – sorry, too little too late.

    1. C_R_Eature

      Is King Scotty's profile cast on the coin of the Realm up there? 'Cos that's totally how they nailed Louie at the border – Guard dude had spare change in his pocket & busted out the King's disguise. Better change out that money or wear a fake beard and glasses, Scotto!

  14. Dudleydidwrong

    "We've gotta protect our phoney baloney jobs, gentlemen!…Rest your sphincters." Harumph, Harumph, Harumph.

  15. SpeedoFart

    "Republican supporters, including the amendment’s sponsor Rep. Robin Vos, R-Caledonia, argued changes are needed to limit recalls given the flurry of such efforts over the past year."

    Awe, they're so cute when they're running scared!

    Run, little piggies, run. Show the world your cowardice.

  16. DustBowlBlues

    All those mischievous and rude things we're not supposed to say? Pretend I'm saying them all right here. Because he deserves all that and more. Best tee-shirt saying my daughter saw when she was working for her union in Wisconsin: over the We Are Wisconsin fist symbol "The Cheese Does Not Stand Alone."

    1. C_R_Eature

      It's my understanding that there's a small but statistically significant possibility of certain people, in the entertainment or political spheres, to spontaneously burst into flame and explode in a spray of boiling bodily fluids, bone shards and tissue. It's not reported on, but people explode every day. Rock & Roll Drummers, mostly but the occasional cheese-filled politician undergoing sudden violent rapid disassembly is not unheard of. Unfortunate.

      1. tessiee

        Are you talking about…
        *looks around suspiciously*
        *lowers voice*
        Spontaneous Human Combustion?

        1. C_R_Eature

          *whispering* Exactly! It happens all the time and it's ruthlessly suppressed in the Media. I saw a drummer blow up onstage in a Rock Documentary (it was awful) but that 's the only time.
          It's related to the Oxidation part of the Metabolic pathway. Too much high caloric intake will supercharge the metabolism, create excess heat and, in extreme instances, people explode. Drummers tend to create vast amounts of heat normally, add huge amounts of Alcohol, Drugs and fast food and you're got a recipe for disaster.
          As for Wisconsin politicians…do you have any idea how many calories Cheese contains? Calories, Lies, bluster and flop sweat are a volatile combination.
          Archer-Daniels Midland are the ones who are working to suppress the reporting on this public health emergency. Now that I've said too much, they'll be after me. A word of warning: don't open the door for anyone who claims to be a soybean salesman. That's how they get you.

          1. tessiee

            "Too much high caloric intake will supercharge the metabolism"

            Oh, how I wish that WERE true. You don't know how much I wish it.

          2. C_R_Eature

            Yeah…sorry. That's where my theory falls apart, although It would be amusing to see Chris Christie go up in a spontaneous energy release. Probably just as well, since his accumulated potential energy would take out Trenton and reroute the Delaware River to catastrophic effect.

            And Thin is way overrated, BTW.

  17. WinterOuthouse

    It is really too bad the republicans in Wisconsin ate so much cheese. So full of shit. So full…

  18. sbj1964

    NOTE: To Gov. Scott Walker. The excuse" I was just doing my job." Did not work for the Nazi's,and will not work for you.

  19. Jukesgrrl

    Perhaps they should just cut to the chase and pass a bill saying anyone ever registered — any time, anywhere— as a Democrat isn't allowed to vote.

    1. poncho_pilot

      poll taxes. literacy tests. background checks. drug tests. genealogy charts. q-tip in penis STD test thing. transvaginal ultrasounds. x-ray machines. colonoscopy. checking for track marks. everywhere. breathalyzers. sing every verse of the Star Spangled Banner. name all of the presidents in chronological order. name everyone on Joe McCarthy's list. name names. turn in at least one neighbor for thoughtcrime.

        1. poncho_pilot

          lol. i'd love to hear Billy Joel sing the line, "q-tip in penis STD test thing." it's probably in an unreleased song from Oliver & Company.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        It was so much simpler back in the days when you were just ejected from polite society if your granddaddy didn't fight for the Confederacy.

  20. Callyson

    Republicans have said Walker and the others are being unfairly targeted simply for doing their job.
    Well, if you consider the fact that Republicans define "doing their job" as "doing the Kochs' bidding," that statement is factually accurate…

  21. AddHomonym

    Reagan was famous for saying, "I can't recall," so this is just expanding on that legacy.

    1. tessiee

      Reagan was famous for saying, "I can't recall,"

      Which gave the Alzheimer's sort of a karmic quailty.

  22. BarackMyWorld

    Republicans will be against recalls for exactly as long as it takes a Democrat to become governor.

      1. Biff

        Oddly, the only time any of them correctly pronounced "nuclear" was in conjunction with "option."

  23. savethispatient

    This might be unpopular here, but I don't agree with electoral recalls. The man was voted in by the WI electorate, so they should have to put up with him for the required time unless he's impeached. That's how representative democracy works, dammit. No backsies.
    The only exception I can think of is if he ran his campaign saying "I'll give more power to Unions", then as soon as he won went, "hahaha, only joking".

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Given the investigations of the County Exec's office, I think Scooter might qualify under the ethical duress standard for recalling.

        1. horsedreamer_1

          Remember, before, there was IOKIYAR, there was "if the [chief executive] does it, it's not illegal". WI GOP would not allow recall for that.

  24. CogitoErgoBibo

    Rep. Vos: Just a Dick, Trying to Make a Deferens

    [I'm hoping there are at least 3 bio majors who get that.]

      1. tessiee

        "tunica vaginalis"

        Forgive me if my Latin is amiss, but doesn't this translate to "pussy jacket"?

  25. fartknocker

    Last year in March I had the opportunity to be in Madison for 3 days. I was really impressed with the town and its people. The food was great, especially the Ethopian and Afghan food. But my favorite thing besides the town, people and food was the number of "Fuck Scott Walker" bumper stickers.

    I really wish that we in Texas would adopt a similar campaign against Rick Perry. Especially after today, when Apple announced they are building a big office complex in Austin. Now I am happy about the jobs. Hell, I may get some consulting work out of it. But Rick gave Apple $21 million to come here. I have nothing against Apple products but since they are richer than 4 feet up a bull's ass, they damn sure don't need a $21 million subsidy from the State. Oh well, I guess I'll have another drink.

    1. Fukui-sanYesOta

      If you count the "worth" of a company (extant shares + cash on hand etc) as its GDP, Apple is bigger than Poland and would rank 20th in the world with its valuation of 500Bn.

      That's nearly the worth of Switzerland.

      No, they don't need a 21M tax break, and could sell Rick Perry to China as dog food, were they that way inclined.

    2. tessiee

      "Rick gave Apple $21 million to come here. I have nothing against Apple products but since they are richer than 4 feet up a bull's ass, they damn sure don't need a $21 million subsidy from the State."

      *ponders*
      I suppose I could get someone much richer than me to give me a job if I paid them the equivalent of what I'd make in ten years at that job, but there really doesn't seem to be much point to that, does there?
      I'm sorry, but it almost seems like your governor is a dumbass.

  26. Dashboard Buddha

    I like many things that are naked…lunch…as we came…sex.

    Naked grabs for power? Not so much.

  27. snoopyfan2010

    A democratically elected government is not about what th people want, it is about what the powerful want. When will the Wonkette understand this?

    1. flamingpdog

      WHEW, I thought maybe the Skins had resurrected the corpse of George Allen (the original one, not the douchebag son from Virginny) until I saw that they didn't trade all those draft picks to the Colts for Peyton Manning (and Johnny Unitas).

    2. Jim Newell

      at least they did it for the right reason this time — an anchor to build a franchise around, instead of old fucking donovan mcnabb — but HAHAHAH, 3 first round and a second round! If this guy comes in and sucks, which, what, probably half of top qb picks like this do, then the redskins will be done pretty much forever.

      at least if he sucked though then people could make fun of dan snyder more, while he's in the witness protection program.

      also too, politics.

      1. Monsieur_Grumpe

        Leinenkugel was bought out by Miller so they kind of lost their coolness. Some of the beers are still quite good. Others, not so much. Seems like they're targeting the 21 YO crowd with fruit flavored malt beverages.

        1. horsedreamer_1

          & the Leinenkugel family is, you guessed, Teatarded.

          MillerCoors, also, is Walker's largest corporate donor.

          1. MilwaukeeKent

            Actually, Miller-Coors had a concern that Budweiser might sneak a market-share grab through the soft underbelly of craft brewers and brew pubs here, so they hand-crafted a law for Scottie to sign after it passed through the polyped intestines of the WI legislature. The law forces small brewers to use a distributor, instead of the owner's pick-up truck, to retail anywhere but their own business.Serious anti-Small Business law. It almost split the state GOP. Walker signed off on it "reluctantly" then sent the souvenir signing pens to Miller-Coors chief lobbyist and the CEO.

  28. Antispandex

    …" charged with a serious crime or if there is a finding of probable cause that they violated the state code of ethics.”

    Recall. Indeed that is the problem here. Republicans can't recall the last time they acted ethically, or knew someone who wasn't charged with a serious crime. The fact that you can recall those things is the problem…because then you want to recall them.

  29. WhatTheHeck

    Sorry, Wisconsin. Syria already beat you to these tactics and it’s working out great for them. But go ahead and copy them. It’s worth a shot.

    1. Negropolis

      OT: Wait, what? The spell has been broken?! And, to think, I didn't even have to kiss any frogs…and I sure as hell didn't kiss any ass, let me tell you.

        1. Negropolis

          We both were suspended for some time. It's a very real thing; things here aren't as good-natured, and happy-go-luck as they seem, and I'll just leave it at that. It was kind of funny to see everyone sitting around telling everyone it was a joke. It wasn't a joke.

          I’ve seen some things, man, and some stuff. I wouldn’t recommend it.

          1. flamingpdog

            I hope this doesn't go on your permanent record. As for me, I've never had a permanent, so I wouldn't know about such things.

          2. tessiee

            "your permanent record"

            "Yes, well your resume is impressive, and we'd love to hire you… However, there is that UNPLEASANT INCIDENT at the second grade spelling bee…"

          3. Chichikovovich

            The device of communicating the situation by changing your screen-name was ingenious.

    2. horsedreamer_1

      I can't wait for GOP officials to start winning Mugabe & Assad styled confidence votes with 99% of the vote.

      1. tessiee

        At which point Fox will broadcast nonstop coverage of "the glorious victory of our beloved leader by a completely fair and balanced election" until our ears ring with bullshit, and we'll have one *more* thing in common with all the *other* Third World banana republics.

        The only redeeming feature of this is that it won't make the Fox fucks as happy as one might think. Their entire worldview is based on whining about how they're poor little victims, so Fox in a banana republic would be as lost and disappointed as a vegan in a vegan restaurant.

  30. valthemus

    "Walker and the others are being unfairly targeted simply for doing their job."

    If their job description says:

    – Diminish constituent power
    – Present phony populist agenda before turning to suck rich donor dick
    – Be an ass

    then, yes, Walker and the others were treated unfairly.

  31. Negropolis

    So, let me get this straight, the people wouldn't pass this even if it got to them, and to get to them, they have to find a supermajority in both houses, right, something they have in neither house?

    Yeah, this isn't even going to make it on the ballot, but it'll do a helluva job whipping up the already angry anti-Walker opposition. Can you say "winning!" How fucking stupid are these guys? It's like we're playing with five-year-olds. It's almost not fair. And, I say "almost not" because I've learned not to "misunderestimate" the power of Teh Stupid and Teh Evuhl.

    1. RadioStalingrad

      This time last night I was thinking to myself: if I had to go over the top at the Somme, who better to go with than Negropolis? And I had my home IP address as a casualty. There would be a hole in this place without you.

      1. Fukui-sanYesOta

        Is your home IP still a casualty? It shouldn't be.

        Damn, long-time commenters with far higher mutual respect than I have getting banned is not cool – but it looks like you're both back.

        I'd go over the top with both of you.

      2. Negropolis

        You know, I've had some time to think on this, and I find myself just as angry as the day it happened. I'm mulling a respectful but ungodly righteous screed of Chichikovovich proportions about what the relationship between the community and the administration should be on an interactive blog like this, because everyone is acting like the whole event of the blow-up over the rules never happened either out of fear or out of simply not caring, but I think a trust has been breached in a major way that can't be corrected without directly addressing it, and the community taken for granted…but I'll wait to a few more days to see if it is remedied.

        I tell you, I'm just as hurt as you if only because I've seen long-time commenters with hearts of gold and who love this place to death — grown-ass men and women, some grandmothers and grandfathers, with good standing on both this board and in the real world — dismissed as as common "whiners" for having genuine questions about the vagueness — or even the directness and delivery, it really doesn't matter — of the new demands. I must reveal that during my own suspension, I was basically told in a kind of passive-aggressive way that if I didn't like it here, I was more than free to leave? Excuse mon français, mon frere, but The Fuck?! I lurve this community, and always have. That was never the issue.

        This should be a safe place given the current emotional world of our politics, and I feel that decisions and overreactions were made that went totally against the spirit of this place as a haven. The people given authority and dominion over a site should always be held to higher standards than us rabble.

        This wasn't even about the new rules, really, most of which were completely respectable — in fact, many of the rules weren't new at all, they were long standing — but rather how the website miscommunicated, and then instead of admitting mistakes, or even simply letting us rabble simmer down, actually made it worst by publically humiliating folks with genuine, kindly-asked concerns.

        I fear I've gone on to long and previewed too much, but whatever. I just know that I'm still heated, and that I'm trying really hard because I love you guys, but it's getting not to be fun or worthwhile to me beyond a few of you. I was also kind of disappointed to see folks I thought as Wonkette friends willing to trade the community (us Wonkette commentariat) and throw their friends under the bus for the website (administraton) out of sheer cowardice. In some famous old words, those that trade the former for the latter deserve neither. Some soul searching needs to happen, because what happened a few days back wasn't normal turn-over, and nor was it intitiated by the rabble who seems to have been given all of the blame. Like voter fraud, the post seemed like a solution in search of a problem. I don't doubt inappropriate things had been said prior to the post, but I question what many of us felt was an all-out assault on the community for the precieved sins of a few, and not just that but then the subsequent doubling down on being petty and disrespectful to the folks that have made this place great for years, now.

        Am I banned again because of this? I was as respectful as I possibly could be.

        Vive la Wonkette! Also. Too.

        **Now, back to your regularly scheduled (snarky) program.

        1. Chichikovovich

          But seriously folks, since I've been one of the people suggesting that people are over-reacting, I'll perhaps join the by-me-described-as-overreactors by saying that this is upsetting. (That is, that Negropolis would be told this is upsetting, I'm most definitely not upset at Negropolis, my favorite Spartan.)

          I must reveal that during my own suspension, I was basically told in a kind of passive-aggressive way that if I didn't like it here, I was more than free to leave?

          The attraction of this place, to me, is the exceptionally literate and piercingly witty commenters. I know nothing about the economics of operating a website like this, but I'm guessing that the commenters are among the things that distinguish Wonkette from an internet full of similar sites. If people are attracted to the site to read the comments (as I personally was for about a year before I started posting) this generates an economic return for the site owner (presumably not an enormous one, but an economic benefit even so) . The commenters post here – in some cases obsessively – happily without compensation. Because it's fun, we like it here and we like the community, and if this translates into an economic benefit for the site owners, well, that's all to the good. But some things are just bad manners, and it really shows a lack of gratitude to treat long-time, valued members of the community disdainfully, in any event, but especially when you derive a benefit from their uncompensated efforts. And banning (or even just threatening to ban) long-time valued posters is just graceless. It also puts the community at risk. The commenting group here is what a game theorist would call a "point of unstable equilibrium" – we stay here because everyone else stays here, but there are few things pushing us back to the site apart from the fact that everyone else is at the site. Most of us communicate with each other only via the site, and as we learned with the Negropolis (etc.) suspension, it's easy for rumors and misimpressions to spring up. If valued commenters just start vanishing, and other people decide to leave as a result, the whole can very quickly disperse, and there's no obvious mechanism for the community to be reconstituted*.

          I say this as someone who finds the new rules congenial for the most part. I understand that the site already has one strike out against it concerning the r-word, and personally I find profanity makes me uncomfortable unless it is essential to the humorous effect. And I really hate the c-word, even when used ironically, unless it is used in a spectacularly funny way. And I'm not personally a fan of violent rhetoric, again except in cases where it is essential to the humorous effect. (Though, of course, everyone has a different taste in humor and style, and diversity in this respect is needed to keep things rich and lively.)

          But I am nourished by the humor and intelligence of the posters, and I will miss ShavetheWhales, not to mention any others who may be gone without my yet recognizing. I dislike the fact that in the future, whenever a valued but iconoclastic poster goes a few days without an appearance I will wonder if s/he is gone for good. (Especially with people who often go long periods without posting. Is Owls away on another temporary hibernation or gone for good? RavenRant?….) And Negropolis? That loss would be incalculable.

          [*Since, as we just learned, it might be good to have backup communication plans - if I should ever vanish without a trace, you can find me at Balloon-Juice posting under the screen name PPCLI.]

          1. tessiee

            Part 1:

            "This wasn't even about the new rules, really, most of which were completely respectable — in fact, many of the rules weren't new at all, they were long standing — but rather how the website miscommunicated, and then instead of admitting mistakes, or even simply letting us rabble simmer down, actually made it worst by publically humiliating folks with genuine, kindly-asked concerns. "

            Is there room for me on that bandwagon?

            I used to post a lot on a blog that had occasional messages to the effect of, "my blog, my rules", which didn't seem *entirely* unfair. After awhile, those messages got increasingly frequent, defensive, and — there's no other description for it — pissy. Clueless but good-faith newbies got spanked (but I said nothing, because I was not a newbie…)

          2. tessiee

            Part 2:

            One day, I made a post about — plus ca change! — a certain politician and her campaign prop, "little Algebra". This resulted in responses about "how dare I make fun of a helpless child, and a disabled one at that", etc.

            In vain did I try to explain that I wasn't making fun of the child, but his idiot parents and the silly names they gave their kids, and by extension, the kind of idiot parents who put a million dollars worth of effort into thinking up a name for their kid and two cents worth of effort into actually parenting; apologize to any disabled folks who were offended; own up to the lameness of the pun, etc.

            I didn't get banned, but I never went back. If that makes me a sorehead, so be it. I have enough aggravation/being controlled by people who are in a position to hire me, sign my paycheck, etc. without seeking it out in my free time. If it's not fun, and (excuse the jargon) a safe space, I can't be bothered. Apparently I'm not the only person who felt that way, as that particular site went defunct shortly afterwards, and remains so.

          3. tessiee

            Part 3:

            And can I just chime in to agree with Chi saying that one of the best features of the wonketz is the intelligence of the group here? There is not one single one of us that would have fallen for the transparently self-serving horseshit argument that making fun of the Palins = attacking their kids.

            Note to self: Find out how Chi is able to post long messages without having to break them up into segments like this one.

        2. Chet Kincaid

          EDIT: OK, I am going to withdraw what I just said as a specific response to Negropolis, now that I've actually read what he had to say and seen that my knee-jerk response doesn't fit.

          In general though, I AM fucking tired of earnest essays in defense of rusty chainsaw fucking. Yeah, I love Wonkette too, but the amount of brouhaha about this nonsense is reaching the level of idiocy around downfisting, before that was mercifully taken away.

          EDIT: The argument isn't even about the rules anymore, it's about a few people getting their feelings hurts by, of all things, snark and condescension from the proprietors. Jesus fucking Christ, we ladle out condescension and sarcasm by the BUCKET here every day, why act like a baby when there's a little in-kind from the editor?! Then people who don't normally post like assholes decided to post like assholes in order to needle the new boss, and she responded defensively, surprise.

          The whole thing is ridiculous.

          EDIT: Jesus, why did I even reply to this, I'm sure I'm now on the shit-list of moral cowards with their noses up Schoenkopf's butt, obsequiously sucking up for all of the glorious monetary and social benefits of being an un-banned Wonkette commenter.

  32. Jukesgrrl

    Off-topic: Exclusive Report to The Wonket
    By Jukesgrrl
    Dateline: Brewerstan

    The University of Arizona Wildcats defeated Coach Craig Robinson's Oregon State LadyParts tonight to advance in the Pac12 finals. The political connection? Michelle Obama's brother's team is having no March Madness. Yay! The nation's wingnuts can rest easy. Our Muslin President will NOT be coaching any more college basketball games via Smartphone since tonight he was eliminated as a FAIL. He will probably add to his shame by collecting reelection cash in Hollywood this weekend instead of building bombs to drop on Iran, what any good Commander-in-Chief would be doing in an undisclosed location on Saturday.

          1. Steverino247

            You know, there's this thing called "masturbation" that can be a lot of fun…

            Or are you just waiting for the refractory period to end to you can go again? In which case, excuse the ring.

          2. redarmyzombie

            Uh, hello! The two go together, like, like ,like…

            I'm trying to find a comparison to illustrate my point that doesn't involve Buttsex and Santorum…

  33. tessiee

    I, for one, am pleased that we're not going to be stuck posting about Wolf Blitzer all weekend.

      1. Fukui-sanYesOta

        Hey, he might live in the old East, but hipster he's not. BRITISH EXPAT LIBEL! or whatever.

        Berlin is one of the funnest towns I've ever visited.

    1. tessiee

      Don't speak or read German, so I just skimmed the article, but I noticed the words Yuppie and Hipster seem to be universally understood.

  34. Terry

    People of Wisconsin, take this experience as a hard lesson. Don't elect tea baggers to begin with.

  35. sewollef

    Scott Walker. Scott Walker.

    Why oh why am I always reminded of the cute as buttons pop singing trio, The Walker Brothers from ye olden days back in the UK?

    In fact I believe one of the dudes went by the name…. Scott Walker. Although they were American, the lack of taste here made them flee to the cultural oasis of England in the 'swinging sixties'.

    A few points to consider:
    Could they be one and the same person? Is the shit-for-brains Gov of WI the former lead singer with this pop group? And finally, what went wrong?

  36. johnnyzhivago

    Honestly, why not just ban voting altogether? It's a messy process, costs a lot of money and most importantly, interrupts a lot of good television.

    A few wise men (no women, please!) in quiet rooms can probably do a better job picking our leaders anyway.

    Indeed it was a wise man who said a few years ago, that "a dictatorship is a lot easier". Who was that again?? Herman Goebbels or George W Bush??? I forget.

  37. Chichikovovich

    Chichikovna got a fund-raising letter from Walker yesterday. (Maybe Planned Parenthood sold its address list to the Walker campaign?) You expect fundraising letters from politicians to bend the truth and spin, but this was astonishing. Baghdad-Ali calibre reality-independence. The tone was set by the overall theme of the letter: "Dear Person outside Wisconsin. All these bad things are happening to noble Scott Walker are being caused by evil unions and – most shamefully – money from out of state. So please send money from out of state."

    There was the usual – we were managing to settle our differences fine, with a couple of dozen smelly unemployed people protesting, until the evil unions trucked in protesters from all over the country. [There was a nice touch in there: he described the protesters as brought in from "as far away as Chicago and Las Vegas". You've got to work harder to cover up your desperate efforts shoehorn in "oooh! scary" symbols, guys. Chicago isn't that far away at all. And you forgot to include "San Francisco". Amateurs.] There was the usual "pity poor me, persecuted for just being a good guy and doing my job" tone. All Republicans adopt this when people fight back against having the latest ALEC agenda item forced upon them, of course, but Walker has made this his special signature. He's the Paganini of the high-pitched whine.

    But most of all there was the lying. He was responding to an awful budget crisis, [no mention of the huge giveaways to politically connected Walker-contributing businesses to manufacture the impression of a "crisis", of course.] did what he had to do to save the state. And those evil teachers and state workers! They weren't even willing to contribute a bit more to their health care plans and take a small cut in salary! Of course, this is the most despicable lie of all, and Walker uses it whenever he is addressing people outside Wisconsin, who might not be clear on what happened. [Much to his surprise, no doubt:] The teachers and state workers were perfectly willing to accept the health care and salary concessions, and they said so openly and repeatedly. What they refused to accept was the elimination of collective bargaining – which was the point all along, as made obvious by the fact that Walker insisted on including it even though he could never actually explain what it had to do with the immediate budget crisis.

    And on and on. There isn't a single sentence in that letter that isn't a bald-faced lie, shameless even by political standards – except for the many variations on "I want you to send me money".

    People of Wisconsin, please make sure this guy is thrown out on his ass with extreme prejudice. It's crucial not only as our duty to Universal Karma, but also because one point of Walker's letter is absolutely true, though not as he spins it. This is a testing ground. If this tactic of running a generic campaign and then (the day after taking office) forcing through every ALEC-crafted neo-Bircher bill (never mentioned in the campaign) crap isn't defeated here, we'll be seeing much more of it elsewhere.

    1. Negropolis

      I've always had a hard time digesting Walker as a public figure. Looking from the outside with only a sketch of who he was in the past, it's hard to tell if he's just stupid or evil, or probably a bit of both. Maybe, that doesn't even matter, because what the real problem is are the kinds of people he brought out from the woodwork and where this is happening. I think the latter might be the biggest factor in this weird drama. I look at someone like Rick Scott in Florida, who is just a straight-up, repugnant criminal (that's not libel, is it?), or John Kasich, who's an unapologetic asshole, and they bother me on a personal level so much more. But, then I remember that Walker's drama is taking place in a state with such a storied progressive history, and I think that has to count for something.

      Kind of just rambling, I'm just wondering if someone as politically interested as myself can't really wrap himself around Walker, do we have a real chance to recall him? I'm seeing the polling, and it's still looking 50-50…unless Feingold is the candidate where it's clear Walker would be out of office faster than you can say Wauwatosa or Waukesha…but Feingold isn't running for some odd reason.

      1. Chichikovovich

        I'm just the opposite. I hate Kasich and Scott too, but Walker I simply detest. I'm not sure why I loathe him so much more than the other two, but I do. Perhaps I have a repressed childhood memory of being attacked by a rabid weasel.

    2. tessiee

      "Chichikovna got a fund-raising letter from Walker yesterday. (Maybe Planned Parenthood sold its address list to the Walker campaign?)"

      She should take the prepaid reply envelope they give ya, superglue it to a cinder block, and drop it in the mailbox. Presto, *one hundred billion dollars* postage due, Mr. Walker.
      *puts pinky near corner of mouth a la Dr. Evil*

    3. tessiee

      "Walker has made this his special signature. He's the Paganini of the high-pitched whine."

      Castrati usually are.

  38. DustBowlBlues

    Listen up, clowns: Did anyone see Real Time last night? Did anyone see the A. Pelosi short about voters in Mississippi? Well, welcome to my world. That very evening, I had been shopping at the local grocery store (which is under new ownership and is actually very nice, 3 x the inventory of the previous owner, Delbert). There, I encountered a happy, smiling woman. Remember the guy in the short who lived in the country squat and deserved to get his good stamps from the government he didn't believe should govern?

    The happy lady at the grocery was wearing a similar baggy, ragged tee-shirt, light weight jersey pants, such as comes with women's pj's, with scuffs on her feet. When she smiled, you could look in her eyes and see that there was no real there, there. What set her apart from the man in the short was that the teeth she still had were kind of checker-boarded, rendering her smile similar to a well-carved jack-o-lantern.

    You can't believe these people are real until you live in the rural south. In our case, the rural south-west-central. At first you feel sorry for them. Then they open that toothless mouth and express opinions like that guy. Pity ends when you realize that they vote to keep their lives that miserable.

    And the message on their attitude toward the 1%'s noblesse oblige? Exactly the same. But Maher and his guests failed to note that the churches down here are largely responsible for this. Exhibit A: the readerboard in front of First Baptist Church in Fairfax in 2004 before the election: "Vote your values, not your pocketbook."

    If someone will tell me where you sign up for on of those sharing pictures sites, I'd like to begin taking pictures and posting them so I can prove these stories are true.

    And, let's face it, have a laugh or an outrage about life in this area. Republicans in OK haven't opposed funding for public education for the last sixty years for nothin', you know: keep them semi-literate and they're easy to bamboozle.

    1. C_R_Eature

      "He who controls the present, controls the past. He who controls the past, controls the future."
      — George Orwell

      Pretty much the Republican playbook these days. And they call us Fascists.

    2. HistoriCat

      DBB – there are tons of photo sites which let you share. I don't claim to be an expert but here are some options:
      Flickr has been around a long time but they've lagged since Yahoo bought them
      Imgur is used by a lot of folks in comments
      Shutterfly is the site I use for my photos

      Hope this helps.

    3. Biff

      I've used photobucket.com for years. Now with google+, any pix I take with my Android phone go directly to picasa, which is kind of handy in an annoyingly big brother kind of way. I'm sure the apple cloud business has a similar feature, if you're an apple person.
      Here's an example from the google+ feature, which shows that OK isn't the only place where god hates trailers.

    4. tessiee

      "the readerboard in front of First Baptist Church in Fairfax in 2004 before the election: "Vote your values, not your pocketbook.""

      I'm not thrilled with this, but it's generic and vague enough that I can't honestly object. Yes, I know that "values" is a dogwhistle for "kill all the homos" or something, but what it basically *actually says* is, "Vote the way you believe is right".

      The churches I have a problem with are the ones that have much more specific messages about voting for a particular candidate, overturning Roe v. Wade, etc. That's lobbying, and shouldn't be done by a tax-free religious entity.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        Here in Arizona, they bring the Republican candidates into the church services and introduce them. "Meet Scott Rick. He's the one WE're going to vote for for state senate. Please say a few works, son." And sometimes those very churches are polling places.

      2. Negropolis

        I see it the exact opposite way. That "vague" message isn't so vague to me, and it's worse than voting your economic self-interest. What it says essentially is to ignore the people actually fucking you over, and vote for the people you believe want to fuck you over/are fucking you over. It's as cynical or even more cynical than voting just on "values."

  39. Guppy

    The main problem with recall elections is that they're the only elections most people pay attention to.

    Exhibit A: California

  40. horsedreamer_1

    He's straight up gangsta, & he always keeps one in the chamber, in case suckas ponderin'.

Comments are closed.