raise the roof

Mitt Romney Trying Really-Super-Hard-You-Guys With Spotify Playlist of Sadness

RunSmileProgramexeHey you guys! Common dude/man of the people/human being made of many kinds of tissue and various organs Mitt Romney has released his “Spotify” playlist for a lighthearted “road trip”-themed look into beepboopbeepERRORERRORERRORERROR. In other news, many people who were just trying to drink a goddamned beer and post a few things for Friday larfs have now been forced to join goddamned Spotify and annoy their Facebook friends with unwanted crap updates on what musical shite they are listening to now. BEHOLD!

Man of Constant Sorrow, The Soggy Bottom Boys. Hey, are you having a Depression-themed birthday party? The Soggy Bottom Boys and the rest of the O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack will prove invaluable (lots of Emmylou Harris, yay!). Good, pretty, excellent bluegrass. Good job, Romney social media person!

MTA (Boston Subway Song), Kingston Trio. This is a sort of lawful version of Alice’s Restaurant, for people who came of age during the folk era but were afraid of taking their shoes off, and without the middle-finger to the fuzz and the Army. It is perhaps the whitest music to banjo-pick your ears outside of Parker Posey’s band in the underwhelming A Mighty Wind.

Good Vibrations, the Beach Boys. Sure. Fine. Whatever.

Desperado, Clint Black.
Why not the Eagles original, you are surely wondering? Because they are disgusting sex-fiend liberals who do drugs and hookers and besides, even hippies don’t like them anymore.

Ring of Fire, Johnny Cash. The Man in Black kept his country fan base despite being antiwar and pro-drug and anti-the-justice-system and a total freakazoid. Romney’s people chose the song that could least be construed as total fucking commie, but seem to have forgotten it was written by June Carter Cash about their adulterous affair. Well, you lose some, you lose some!

Born Free, Kid Rock. This is gross, and is hurting your editrix’s feelings, and if Mitt Romney ever heard it, he would get even more stuttery and uncomfortable than usual. Your editrix imagines her sister, who is a Hessian and finds Kid Rock sexy (!) would totally dig it.

Over the Rainbow, Willie Nelson. Nelson, of course, ties with Johnny Cash (see above) for number one crossover appeal with hipsters and rednecks. Good thing they found a super-inoffensive song that wouldn’t remind The Base about Willie’s busloads of artisanal weed.

All-American Girl, Carrie Underwood.
Listened to this, didn’t hear a word. Pure American Idol pablum, from the iota that penetrated our consciousness.

Franki Vallee, Commodores, Roy Orbison, Nat King Cole, and Del Shannon. These might be on Romney’s actual playlist; they are ’50s-y, when he was but a young android, and would have given Lawrence Welk a stroke (rebellious, dood) and are very nice.

Read My Mind and Somebody Told Me, the Killers. Now you are just fucking with our heads. YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE YOUTH VOTE, AND THEY DON’T LISTEN TO THE KILLERS ANYMORE ANYWAY THEY LISTEN TO LIL WAYNE JESUS CHRIST.

As Good As I Once Was, Toby Keith. We heard this song once on one of those LA-to-SF trips where every five minutes you run out of radio signal and have to switch between Spanish stations, country stations and JAYSUS stations, and we didn’t know what it was and we were shrieking in horror at the man singing about his gross disgusting threesomes with some vile bar-rats and when we got home we googled it and found out it was Toby Keith and threw up so many times. Here, have a listen your own bad self, and then die. [Mitt’s Spotify]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • DrunkIrishman

    Romney is an All-American Girl.

  • DrunkIrishman

    And that Toby Keith video totally broke my browser.

    • thebeatgoeson

      I have to admit that Toby is one of my guilty pleasures. Not the videos (ugh) but I do like his voice and many of his songs. So SUE ME already!

  • nounverb911

    Is he paying royalties? Send in the RIAA.

  • SexySmurf

    What, no Baha Men? He probably strapped them to the top of the car.

  • kingofmeh

    does this playlist have any common theme other than "i am white as white can be"? and you know one of his sons suggested the killers songs.

    • flamingpdog

      The common theme may be that he's desperately trying to win the Southern states in next week's primaries or at least come in a strong second. I heard on teh radio today that he said grits was his favorite breakfast. Yeah, right.

      • SkinnyNerd

        Must. Process. List. of. Songs. for. American. Humanoids. Stop. Upcoming. Primaries. Alabama. Mississippi. Kansas. Avoid. Rap. Jazz. Blues. Stop.

    • billy_reuben

      Aside from the superficial 50's era crap, the Killers is about the *most* plausible thing on that list. The Killers areis easily the most successful all-Mormon musical group since the Osmonds.

  • Barb

    How about "Who Let The Dogs Out?"

    • nounverb911

      Or "Money, Money, Money"?

      • SorosBot

        As I mentioned before, Dire Straights' Money For Nothing.

        • Generation[redacted]

          Tax for free!

    • RadioSlut

      Wow, Barb, that is the first time I saw somebody beat you to the punch. The times they are a changin' around here. (BTW, tx last night for the support, to say the least, I had a fitful sleep.)

      • Barb

        Beat me to the punch of what?

        • RadioSlut

          Sexysmurf's Baha Men. He must have greased his lightening.

          • Barb

            Oh my God! Is that the real name of the song or the group that does it? My apologies to the lovely and talented Sexy Smurf. Seriously, my bad.

          • RadioSlut

            Srsly, I think you guys were within 30 seconds of each other based on the time stamp changing,

          • SorosBot

            Yep, the Baha Men is the group – it's easy to forget with one hit wonders like that.

        • Radio福井県

          The master of delayed wit.

  • BloviateMe

    The exclusion of Mr. Roboto is clearly intentional.

    • nounverb911

      Domo origato.

    • OzoneTom

      Also "Seamus" by Pink Floyd.
      http://youtu.be/BdFOgLyk6Qs

      Maybe just because the song was named after Steve Marriott's dog instead of The RomBot's beloved family pet.

      • Generation[redacted]

        And then Seamus got bumped when they brought in a guest vocal dog for the tour.

    • SorosBot

      Or Stan Bush's (You've Got) The Touch.

  • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    Will.Not.Listen.

    Romney's interest in this stuff is as genuine as "Kid" Rock's ex-wife's rack.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    the Beach Boys.

    Well, it worked well for Big Love, the show that taught me everything I need to know about teh Mormonz.

    Franki Vallee, Commodores, Roy Orbison, Nat King Cole, and Del Shannon.

    I haven't seen Del Shannon's hair, but the others should well complement theological mien: the frozen chosen >> immutable election!

    • CessnaDriver

      Does anyone remember when the Sect'y of the Interior under Reagan stopped the Beach Boys from performing on the Fourth of July in Washington because of their sex-crazed pro-drug songs?

      I think the asshole was James Watt.

  • Nostrildamus

    NEEDS MOAR MINCHO NEDYALKOV !!!

  • north_of_moscow

    What, no Gang of Four?

    • spudgun

      I love a man in a uniform…

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

      At Home he Feels Like a Tourist?

    • north_of_moscow

      To hell with poverty!

    • doloras

      THE WORST THING IN 1964 WAS THE BIKINI

  • CountryClubJihadi

    Man of Constant Sorrow is the shit, but he's really listening to Wildfire, Afternoon Delight and Seasons in the Sun.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      We had joy we had fun
      We went streaking in the sun
      But the people we passed
      were just looking at our ass

      • fuflans

        gah both of you.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Gah, Wonkette's video-embed function is as poorly coded as Romney's empathy software.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Mitt DOES SO have a sense of humor!

  • Sue4466

    I Wanna Be a Billionaire too obvious? or too socially conscious?

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      A reimagining of 50 cent's opus, named "Get Born Rich and Sneer at those Trying"?

    • flamingpdog

      I heard Mitt was playing the executioner on Alice Cooper's Billion Dollar Babies tour.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Not too obvious. Simply not a feeling that Mitten's process can work with.

      "Want? What is "want"? Mitt Romney has never felt this emotion."

      • Sue4466

        Had not thought of that. Excellent analysis.

    • schvitzatura

      Stan Ridgway "I Wanna Be A Boss" from Partyball (1992)
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-E0KGjJAx8

      or

      Psychedelic Furs "President Gas" from Forever Now (1982) and/or "Here Come Cowboys" from Mirror Moves (1984)
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytGsQi4h1j0&fe
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hguSgIfe3oA&fe

  • Wonderthing

    "It's Not Easy Being A Flip Flopping Cynic Who Hopes There Are Enough People In America Who Are Stupid And Who Would Vote For A Cell Phone Tower Instead Of A Black Man". How come that's not on his playlist, huh? Howcum?

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    No Mormon Tabernacle Choir? Joseph Smith would be pissed if we hadn't all converted him to an alternate lifestyle using that LDS-fabulizer website.

    • C_R_Eature

      Mitt's got the Hentai version, "Mormon Tentacle Choir" on his Special iPad. Locked safely away, for those private times.

    • Barrelhse

      Also missing: The St.Louis Aquarium Choir

    • CessnaDriver

      That's got to be the worst choir in history. Everything I have ever heard from them sounds like hash.

  • RadioStalingrad

    What, no Kill, Kill, Kill, Kill the Poor?

    • tessiee

      Santorum already called dibs on everything by the Dead Kennedys.

  • http://wonkette.com Chillatte

    Jesus MP3 Christ…Spotify if forever ruined now.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Spotify sounds like what you get if you stick your dick in a suspect place. "Spotified dick"!

  • Rotundo_

    And despite pandering furiously, no mention of Elvis? If he's trying to convince the south that he is "one of the common folk" he should have thrown in a couple of hits from the king.

    • Barrelhse

      Little Sister?

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Wait, wait, wait. "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers? The one about the guy who's been stalking that chick who has a boyfriend who looks like stalker-boy's ex-girlfriend?! Where to start. Stalker! Lesbians!

    Music fail, Mittens. Music fail.

    • snoopyfan2010

      Lead singer is Mormon …maybe why they chose it.

  • mavenmaven

    I always thought "ring of fire" was about the sensation one has several hours after eating bad mexican food.

    • SorosBot

      And I thought it was the sensation you get around your dick after sleeping with the wrong kind of woman.

    • Loaded_Pants

      I recall that there was some hemorrhoid cream company wanting to use "Ring of Fire" in ads. The Cash estate declined.

    • Rotundo_

      How else to explain the mariachi horn riff after each phrase? Hell wouldn't have mariachi bands, but a restaurant serving bad mexican food likely would. (Snark aside, where those horns came from Dog knows, but it makes the song…)

      • tessiee

        One of my favoritest car singing songs ever!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    What? No Dead Kennedy's or X?

  • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

    I thought he'd just chuckle in that staccato way of his and point your browser to Hank Locklin.

    [love ol' hank, by the way]

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Actually, looking over the list, isn't it interesting how many pot heads ol' Mitt likes to chill out with?

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      I bet Shakedown Street is actually his favorite song. In real life.

      • DCBloom

        Naw, he's more of a Touch of Grey kinda guy

  • elviouslyqueer

    I call bullshit. "It's Raining Men" appears nowhere on this playlist.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Neither does "It's Raining Mormons".

  • savethispatient

    I'm surprised it doesn't include the song he learnt when he first became operational: Daisy.

    • nounverb911

      "Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?"

      • savethispatient

        "I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my chance of electoral success is going. I can feel it. I can feel it."

    • Generation[redacted]

      "Open the pod bay doors, Mitt."
      "I'm afraid I can't do that, Sarah. This mission is far too important to allow you to jeopardize it."

    • C_R_Eature

      "I have the greatest enthusiasm for the Mission, Rush."

    • Doktor Zoom

      No further comments are needed on this post.

      (I mean, sure, we'll keep making them, but they are truly irrelevant).

    • NellCote71

      Thumbs up to everybody for that riff.

    • My_pal_HAL

      Sorry. I had to come out of retirement for this. I would like to point out that Mittbot 3000 and I are not related. He comes from an end of run experiment by some pot head engineers in Michigan in the mid-20th century, which was deemed an abject failure and after which they literally broke the mould.

  • flamingpdog

    I'm old enough to remember when California Senator Alan Cranston was running for office sometime in the 70s and proudly announced on the stage that his favorite song was "California Hotel".

  • Freud McShadenies
  • flamingpdog

    The Soggy Bottom Boys? Is that Senator David Vitter's musical group?

    • lochnessmonster

      ahaha!

  • Goonemeritus

    Nice pander list but if he is ever to get the drunk Irish punk vote he will need to add "Bottle of Smoke" by the Pogues

    • DCBloom

      Flogging Molly?

  • ProgressiveInga

    Hey RS, you missed "Sexual Healing" as interpreted by Andy Williams.

    • flamingpdog

      And "Stairway to Heaven" by Pat Boone.

      • ProgressiveInga

        And "99 Problems" by Steve and Edie

  • Beowoof

    I thought a Rmoney road trip play list would be a continual, woof woof, ruff ruff, hoooowwwwlllll ruff, ruff, hoooooowwwwwwl, woof whimper whimper wet fart noise.

    • Rotundo_

      Loop that with "That Smell" by Skynrd, and you'd have the soundtrack.

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      Maybe we're all being a little hard on old Willard. Maybe Seamus was one of them there hyper-intelligent talking dogs. When they asked him where he'd like to ride, he said "roof."

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Life's Been Good To Me So Far

    (just checked – that was an Eagles song too, so, no.)

    • C_R_Eature

      Joe Walsh. So, OK!

      • SheriffRoscoe

        THAT was the one I was trying to think of. Thank you!!!

        • C_R_Eature

          Anytime!

      • flamingpdog

        Well, duh, of course Mitt would like anything by Joe Walsh!

    • Doktor Zoom

      I got a limo, my dog's on the roof
      All of the voters think I'm aloof

  • Beowoof

    What no Zappa?

    • C_R_Eature

      Titties 'N Beer

    • flamingpdog

      "Yellow Snow Machine" from Sarah Palin's Spotify list.

  • Neoyorquino

    I'm pretty sure he has several servants who listen to music for him.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Killers libel!

    • MissTaken

      Killers be wearing the Majik Underroos like the good little Mormons they are.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        Well that makes sense then.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Camper Van Beethoven: Joe Stalin's Wife's Couple of Cadillacs

    • DCBloom

      CVB! How bout "It aint gonna suck itself"?

  • lochnessmonster

    Where's the Commander Cody and his Lost Planet Airmen, Dan Hicks and His Hot Licks, Dr. John, Asleep at the Wheel? He don't know musik!

    • Barrelhse

      Live from the Armadillo, bitches!

    • tessiee

      Dr. John deserves an upfist because he's one of the few people who can get away with calling guys, "cats".

  • metamarcisf

    I'm sure Mitt would like to add "Straight Outta Compton" by NWA.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      Straight outta De-troit crazy motherfucker named Willard
      From the gang called Trustfunds With Attitudes
      When I'm called off I got a bill off
      Squeeze the welfare and bodies are hauled off
      You too poors if ya fuck with me
      The ICC are gonna hafta come and get me
      Off yo cash that's how I'm goin out
      For the punk motherfuckers that's showin out
      Repubs start to mumble, they wanna rumble
      Cage 'em and stick em on a car like dogs y'all
      Goin off on a plutocrat like that
      with a tophat that's pointed at yo ass
      So give it up smooth
      Ain't no tellin when I'm down for a jack move
      Here's a fraud rap to keep me at the trough
      with a crime record like Bernie Madoff
      Cayman island trust is the tool
      Don't make me act the motherfuckin fool

    • flamingpdog

      "It's All About the Benjamins" by the Notorious B.I.G. sounds more up Mitt's alley.

    • crybabyboehner

      or "Lonely at the Top" by Randy Newman

  • savethispatient

    It's following the usual GOP theme: only one track out of nineteen by a female artist.

  • Doktor Zoom

    When Mitt Romney listens to music he gets this terrible pain in all the diodes down his left side.

  • commiegirl

    Sorry for breaking everybody's browsers with the Toby Keith that YOU SHOULD NOT LISTEN TO ANYWAY. Coding fixed, maybe? Oopsies?

    • Generation[redacted]

      If it's broke, don't fix it. toby keith for chrissakes?

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      Tsk.

      (Yes it's fixed.)

    • nounverb911

      OT

      Rebecca;
      Congrats on your one weekaversery.
      Time sure flies when your having fun.

      • commiegirl

        HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Thanks, NV!

        • flamingpdog

          Are we gonna have "Your Wonkette's Week in Mistakes" again this week? Is buying teh Wonkette gonna be one of them? (Jus' kidding, commiegirl!)

          • HistoriCat

            "Hello"
            "Ken, it's Rebecca"
            "Sorry – all sales are final. No refunds, no exchanges."

    • Doktor Zoom

      Oh, good. Now only the SONG is hideous.

    • C_R_Eature

      'Sokay, I wasn't planning on listening to Toby Keith anyway. And, no you can't make me.

    • thebeatgoeson

      I have to admit that Toby is one of my guilty pleasures. Not the videos (ugh) but I do like his voice and many of his songs. So SUE ME already!

  • chascates

    For someone who surely knows the owners of various record and music companies his taste if pretty fucking whitebread.

    Oh, I get it now.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      It's kind of making me wish we were checking what's on Huntsman's girls' playlists, instead.

  • Chichikovovich

    Mitt's inauthenticity shows itself again – Mr. Former Mass. Governor prefers the Palo Alto band Kingston Trio's version of the MTA song instead of Quincy, Massachusetts own Dropkick Murphys.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNMDXEdxG9o

    • snoopyfan2010

      Maybe not popular with blah people

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    "Yah Mo Be There."

    Yeah Michael McDonald is still uncool, that's the point.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Now is the time om Sprockets vhen ve feign interest in ze culture of ze little people.

    • Chichikovovich

      This music has become tiresome.

      • tessiee

        I find it bourgeois and banal.

    • C_R_Eature

      I vill go ofer in ze corner und Pet my Monkey.

  • SheriffRoscoe
    • SorosBot

      As bad as that song is, it's hard to believe it's nowhere near the worst song LMFAO have ever done.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    It Was An Absolutely Finger Lickin', Mitts And Chicken, Country

  • MissTaken

    I'm pleased as a peach to see the GOP has finally stopped using Born in the USA without a fucking clue what the song is actually about.

    • SorosBot

      Fear of a lawsuit from The Boss has a strong effect on people.

    • C_R_Eature

      They finally hired Interns to read and interpret the lyrics for them.

    • BlueStateLibel

      Yeah, and it only took them 20 years to figure it out.

      • HistoriCat

        It's closer to 30 years than 20 – sorry.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    You might as well vomit in my ears.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      Apologies in advance.

  • SorosBot

    For when he loses to Obama, Guns 'n Roses' November Rain.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Why do the popular artists of today write so few patriotic songs? Please check into that, Mitt.

  • Barrelhse

    Mitt "I was Country b4 Country was cool" Romney.
    But, really, the fucking Commodores?

    • BarackMyWorld

      He probably thinks "Brick House" is an actual song about houses.

      • Loaded_Pants

        He's mighty mighty.

        • BarackMyWorld

          I can just hear him saying, "I own a few brick houses!"

          • Loaded_Pants

            I should have typed "He's mighty whitey…lettin' it all hang out".

  • Chichikovovich

    Hey wait a minute! Where's Wango Tango? Cat Scratch Fever? Ted Nugent is not going to be happy about this.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      (And he knows how to use a crossbow*.)

      (*To threaten people with. Not kill them.)

    • C_R_Eature

      Ted Nugent is a Draft Dodging, Overcompensating Rock 'N Roll Pussy.

      So…Yes! Good choice.

  • SayItWithWookies

    But when Mitt's really feeling edgy he breaks out the Percy Faith Orchestra's "Theme from A Summer Place."

    • Doktor Zoom

      I've always been partial to Jasper's cover.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Rick Santorum's secret shame? His iPod contains nothing but an endless loop of "She Bop" and "I Touch Myself."

  • Generation[redacted]

    Take that, Dave Mustaine of Megadeth!

  • BarackMyWorld

    I guess his handlers forgot to tell him to put "Sweet Home Alabama" and "Mississippi Queen" on there.

    • Chichikovovich

      And Neil Young's "Ohio". No, wait – Chrissie Hynde/Pretenders's "My City was Gone"….
      I mean – Bruce Springsteen, "Youngstown"… Um….

      OK, what say we just scrap Ohio…

      • BarackMyWorld

        Depending on if this list was made before last Tuesday.

  • AlterNewt
  • SorosBot

    No Dylan? Has Mittens no respect for culture? I would think Workingman's blues would be perfect for him.

    • BarackMyWorld

      This is probably as close as Mittens will get to liking Bob Dylan.

    • Chichikovovich

      "You've Got to Serve Somebody" is about the Koch brothers.

  • BarackMyWorld

    The inclusion of a Beach Boys song is surprising since the California primary isn't until June.

  • Arken

    One black guy on the entire list.

    • C_R_Eature

      There's an oversight! Romney will have Words with his manservant.

  • OneYieldRegular

    You'd think discussion of a playlist might cause one of those songs to get stuck in one's head, but all I'm getting is "Standing There," by The Creatures.

    • SheriffRoscoe

      YouTube is a great palate cleanser.

    • Loaded_Pants

      The Creatures!

      You should have seen my Siouxsie and the Banshees phase (but you can't because I burned all photographic evidence of it).

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Needs moar insane clown posse!

    • C_R_Eature

      "Fucking Primarys, how do they work?"

    • Chichikovovich

      Naw. Michele Bachmann is the only Republican candidate who is genuinely down with the clown.

  • C_R_Eature

    I call Bullshit It's obvious that Romney's Butler has programmed this. Here's what I would have suggested:

    The Holdup
    You Got the Silver
    Have a Cigar
    The Money Song
    The Overdraft
    Diamonds Are Forever

    And so on.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      "Diamonds Are Forever"

      Now I'm imagining Pope Rick and Newt as Wint and Kidd

      Newt: If god had wanted mitt to be president …

      Rick: he would have given him charisma, Mr Newt

      • C_R_Eature

        Eeeeeexcellent.

    • NellCote71

      Mercedes Benz . . All my friends drive Porsches.

      • C_R_Eature

        "Ohh Lorrd, won'tcha buy mee a Murrrsayyydeeze Benz… Ha, ha! Just kiddin'! Ah found enough spare change it thishere couch to buy mahself three of 'em! Seeya raound!"

        -Mittens, Common Man Extraordinaire

  • BlueStateLibel

    Mitt also ADMITTED to reading "The Twilight Series"… and enjoyed it http://tinyurl.com/3cj5e5k
    WTF? The guy who wants to be the leader of the free world reads dippy stories about vampires? What kind of grown man reads "The Twilight Series"???

    • SorosBot

      The series is Mormon propaganda, so you can see what kind of grown man would read them.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Well, Stephenie Meyer is a fellow Mormon. If he wanted to get the Mormon sci-fi nerd vote, he can just say he's read everything by Orson Scott Card.

    • Barrelhse

      Hitler?

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Everything I know about Twilight comes from George Takai snarking on it on FB.

  • Doktor Zoom

    OK, so Mitt likes covers? He would win all sorts of WTF points if he said he liked this

    • flamingpdog

      "The Day the Music Died".

    • C_R_Eature

      That would be the day I would Pith myself.

    • My_pal_HAL

      Best version ever. Very robotic. Entrancing.

  • pinkocommi

    What, no Osmonds? WTF?!

  • Lucidamente1

    <Snark off> I hate to get my schoolteacher on, but would it kill these guys to include classical music once and a while? Obama, bless him, awarded Yo-Yo Ma the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and even narrated Copland's Lincoln Portrait with the CSO.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      Surely appreciation of classic music requires the ability to discern and enjoy the layering of subtle themes and phrases within the whole?

      TBH I'm surprised Mitt's iPod isn't just full of the sound of yard sales being thrown down flights of stairs.

    • Chichikovovich

      You would think the prologue to Boris Gudonov, with all the peasants chanting and clamoring for Boris to accept the crown, would be right up Mitt's alley. Maybe to avoid the foreignness, he could commission a new libretto called "Mitt Gudonov", taking place at the Republican Convention. But no dead princes. And no ghosts. And no chiming clock scene…. In fact, why not just end after the coronation.

      • flamingpdog

        In Mitt's case, Boris Badenov is what comes to my mind first.

        • Chichikovovich

          Good point – at the end of Mitt Gudonov, the hero should shout “Keel Moose!”—

    • Loaded_Pants

      They could definitely use Wagner.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      Scheherefaçade?

    • Dashboard Buddha

      What a snob!

  • C_R_Eature

    Circle Jerks Golden Shower of Hits!! How could we forget that one?

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Best version of Desperado ever!!
    Trust me on this one.
    The Langley Schools Music Project. http://www.keyofz.com/langley/
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7CKDnKWhJU

    • C_R_Eature

      I love these kids. Thanks!

  • C_R_Eature

    I must be slipping. Mitt has to add Root Boy Slim's Rich, White Republican.

    Really, what else do you need, after that?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Great editing on that vid.

      • C_R_Eature

        Isn't it, though? I'm impressed that a.) the production is just so Pro for a YouTube video and b.) The author has actually heard of Root Boy Slim.

    • NellCote71

      Wow.mthanks for that.

      • C_R_Eature

        Welcome! that was fun.

  • Callyson

    Did anyone get past 1:23 on the Toby Keith song?
    Jesus.

    • C_R_Eature

      I'm not even making eye contact.

  • Callyson

    What, no "Mo Money Mo Problems"?

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    The dog demands "Up On The Roof" by James Taylor.

  • aguacatero

    Gimmick-hungry yob.

  • ttommyunger

    Is Toby Keith a Democrat? I don't give a fuck. Is Toby Keith a moron? Fuck yeah! Mitt the music maven…right. He no doubt has the moves of a MS patient on the dance floor. "Man of Sorrow" : best mash-up ever, Gwen Stefani; catch it on You Tube. That is all.

  • semi_expat

    On another musical note, the Mittster accepted the endorsement of Ted Nugent, a draft dodger who shit himself and lived in it for days in order to convince the draft board that he wasn't "military material." Keep it classy, Mitt.

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    Not replying to ttomyunger to give him a fighting chance. I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to make fun of people afflicted with MS any more. Might want to edit that, dude.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    If the campaign ever falls on dire straits (which it might if he keeps talking about how we should be more like China), he can add this gem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjfYA68GfCg (top-quality version)

  • angelfoot

    Where's Pat Boone's epic cover of Stairway to Heaven?

  • tessiee

    No "Jingle Bells" by the barking dogs?

    [actually, I hate that damn song so much, I wouldn't even wish it on Mitt]

  • tessiee

    "Money, get back,
    I'm all right, Jack; keep your hands offa my stack"

  • crybabyboehner

    "I'm Mitt Romney, and I love me some Kid Rock!"

  • An_Outhouse

    What the hell is spotify?

  • billy_reuben

    Aside from the superficial 50's era crap, the Killers is about the *most* plausible thing on that list. The Killers areis easily the most successful all-Mormon musical group since the Osmonds.