It is now time for an important Phriday Photo Phun Contest! Buzzfeed’s continuing mission to unearth every possible comical Romney clan photo from the far corners of the Internet has finally hit pay dirt with some hawt topless Mitt Romney pixxx. How does shirtless Mitt Romney stack up next to the other Republican presidential candidates? YOU BE THE DECIDER. Do we have a shirtless Rick Santorum photo to enter into competition as well?
Is Weird Rick a never nude? Oh well, this will have to be his entry:
And who could forget this terrifying photo of a shirtless Newt Gingrich?
Your judging must also take into account the original standard in shirtless presidential candidates:
Consider your choice carefully. Or don’t. Happy Friday! [Buzzfeed/ Original beach image behind Rick Santorum via Shutterstock]
{ 117 comments }
NONE of them, Katie!
Given that Paul is approximately one million years old, he looks alright.
I vote for the buff coffee-colored gentleman. That kid from the Jersey Shore calls his abs "the situation" Obama calls his "the administration"
Buff colored coffee gentleman?
Cafe au lait.
Mulatte
Is that a Starbuck$ flavor?
No, that BUFF "coffee colored" gentleman.
I beg your pardon, but that man is no BUFF. I'm not sure he has even ever stepped foot on the campus of my beloved University of Colorado!
"Steady, the Buffs!"
Colored gentleman coffee buff?
Coffee gentleman colored in the buff?
Pics or GTFO!
The one with the best photoshopper?
My eternal gratitude for skipping a shirtless Newt pic. For real.
If anyone posts a photo of the shirtless Ole Newt, I promise to buy Wonkette from Rebecca just so I can ban her. Or him. Or it.
Start emptying out your mattress, TG.
Have you no SHAME?
Unfortunately, I was been blinded by the fishbelly whiteness of his white fishbelly, so I can't count my cash.
Oh great. Now I have to bleach my brain permanently.
Bachmann?
Marcus?
Probably the better choice.
I'm sure Marcus is cruising this post as we speak.
Ten grand says Ole Newt has a bigger cup size than Ole Crazy Eyes.
i bet her nips look like her crazy crazy eyes
I'm surprised Romney could actually go into the water. That Romney 3.0 update must've made him water resistant.
See that big yellow patch? Shock protector.
I think they just covered him in Vaseline to make him waterproof for the shoot.
They should have used santorum.
Is voting for non-humans allowed?
Remember, corporations are people, my friend!
They just needed to remove the genitals.
Who's that old lady on the right in the first pic? She should really put on a bra.
Wetsuits, huh Mittens? Interesting.
This pic was taken before he put the second one on.
Does he have to wear magic wetunderwear when he goes diving?
OK, now who's gonna clean off my keyboard?
I hope that's not splooge on your keyboard.
Where's Mitt's windsurfer?
That thing that was gay and elitist when John Kerry did it?
Where is his magic underwear?
If I had to choose a president based on best tits, it would be hard to pick between Palin and Christie.
Palin's are water based in some sort of rubber
and Christie's are lard based in Jabba the Hutt skin cells.
Taft 2012!
Watch out, babbie! Grandpa Paul is totally going to climb out of that pool and leave you to sink or swim on your own, as if the pool was a metaphor for the free market and you were a helpless parasite living off the hard work of other people.
What?! Rooster doesn't want to strut his stuff??
Newt thankfully hasn't been seen topless in public since he ran down the streets of New York being shot at by Ghostbusters. But he was wearing the blue sailor boy and red neckerchief ensemble at the time, so maybe that doesn't count.
Ron Paul's tits shows promise.
RPT or GTFO
At least we don't have to include a shirtless Palin – there are some things that man was not meant to see; and once seen, cannot be unseen.
SB:
Duh Gov'Nuh should be obscene – but not heard.
Now you know how we ladies feel about having seen Gingrinch *with* a shirt on…
Honestly, ever since I saw Ronald Reagan's Manly Man-Tits, I have never been the same.
Upper right: Jack Lalanne shrivels into a frail old man unless he provides a constant supply of infant sacrifices to his Dark Lord.
That photo of Mitt and his rubberized love slaves is a winner.
OT, but if you haven't seen this site defending Limbaugh … more chicken dinner:
http://defendrush.org/
Alexander Putin?
That Mittens picture looks absolutely menacing.
At least Ron Paul's Moobs are getting some support from that flotation device.
Thank you for including our sexeh President of Pectorals as a palate cleanser, as it was sorely needed.
Why does Ron Paul want to drown that poor baby? It doesn't look like a mulatto.
What is Mitt wearing in that photo? A whalebone truss?
Oh, and if any of you Wonketteers dare post a topless pic of Newt, karma will not only bite you in the ass, but it will also reach up, tear your eyes out, and devour them like a pack of angry, emaciated wildebeests.
Too late!!!
*scampers back into fortified burrow*
Eisenhower had pierced nipples. Allegedly.
He also kept his foreskin tied into a bow – it was the fashion, doncha know!
Tune up those biceps with the Ron Paul workout:
gold bars up and over your head – 100 reps.
Are we judging by boob size?
Newt's the biggest boob for sure.
In America, ALL competitions are judged by boob size.
In Soviet Union, Boob judges YOU!
Newt wins, hands down.
Newt wins, many hands full
So wait, are you saying you want to get hands wrapped around Newt's moobs?
It is all fun and games until someone loses an eye at the mere thought of Newt topless.
Why can't we have a nice picture of the First Lady in swimwear? Just the thought of Newt on a beach in swimwear would scare every porpoise in the Gulf of America.
Worst "daddy porn" site. EVAR.
Mama likes that Romney pic. Not bad, Topless Robot. Not bad at all.
Yeah, that one is definitely the most doable. Boys in surfer gear helps.
"Topless" must be modeling his Kevlar 2.0 skin, better modified to protect his precious circuitry from wind, wet, and weather. Although I must admit, his two sons (Trick and Tuppence) make for some mighty fine fapping.
You can keep the young-dumb-and-full-of-come. I like em with some experience.
If they are young and dumb,it won't be long now.
If by "experience", you mean, "updated firmware", sure. Someone is always tinkering with that shit.
I'm not convinced he has any experience. I'd more readily believe Matt and Tagg budded off him like a sea sponge than believe he ever got sweaty making the beast with two backs.
If you ask Mrs. Mitt, I bet he swam over her or something.
Agreed on Romney: Shaggable, yes; electable, no.
Yeech, no. He's so stiff and plastic-y, you might as well get a Real Doll. Look at him…you know he's been having gross, lame grandpa sex since he was 18.
You mean with french girls while he was dodging the Vietnam draft doing his Mission in France?
I thought I had a shirtless pic of Newt I could send in, but upon closer examination it was a shot of a potato that had fallen in some cat hair. But it could probably still beat him in Alabama and Mississippi.
I found this one of a deformed manatee, but it's also more flattering than it need be, because you can tell that that fucker is sucking in its gut a bit.
I think it's great that Dr. Ron Paul has lactating man-boobs for the convenience of the child and /or zygote during transferal from Heaven to Our World.
Santorum is wearing way too little in that photo. I thought he was an advocate of the burqini, or is that only for the women folk?
Is Mittens wearing Spanx?
OT, but glad that this creature isn't topless…
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/governor-chr…
At least he didn't call the law student a slut and a prostitute.
Tits AND GTFO.
The shopped pic of Rick? Those hands are way too big.
The head doesn't seem to fit on the neck right, and the shadows are weird, and he looks like a baby with encephalitis. Yup, it's Rick alright.
Fap, fap, fap
This may be the only time I've been sorry Sarah Palin isn't running.
Do you mean "running for Preznit" or "running slowly along a beach like Pamela Anderson in Baywatch?"
Ahahahaha! I just got it! She said "stack"!
Newt's a larger cup size than all of his wives.
Last time Newt waded in the water, Japan caught a tsunami.
If it weren't for Hopey, R-Money might have a shot at Second Hottest Presidential Torso (after Geo. Washington, who's all buffilicious in his toga on the Capitol grounds).
Of course, if it weren't for Hopey, R-Money might have had a shot at Presidenting in the first place. COCKBLOCKED AGIN, MITTENS!
If it weren't for basic human emotions, Money might have a chance.
Baby shit! We all know which would be the most impressive with his britches off, no contest.
That's why there's a jukebox in the WH bedroom, filled with Teddy Pendergrass, Luther Vandross and Barry White, at Mrs. Obama's request.
Hell Yah!
Will scholarships will be awarded to the winner?
Otherwise, this is a degrading spectacle for all the individuals participating, and I'm including the voyeurs.
I'm assuming Santorum wins the no-talent competition.
As a Digesting American, thank you for not including Newt, even photoshopped.
I cant help but keep focusing on the sock tan lines on the Rick Santorum picture…
I too am glad that with my first visit to this site I wasn't exposed to a topless Newt! There are somethings you can not scrub from your brain.
i just find it sad that none of the romneys ever get to be drunk.
I'm finding this exceedingly difficult to…
Oh, wait, I just scrolled down.
Never mind.
Here's also Newt at the beach. https://picasaweb.google.com/11400799981044075510…
Wow, Grandpa Ron sure looks like a barrel of laughs.
Say what you want about Mittens, but the man is still hot.
Woof! Who let the dogs out?
Dairy Queen
Correct. She deposited her eggs in a mossy log and he fertilized them a week later.
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