BOOOOOO  3:50 pm March 9, 2012

Matt Drudge-Obama Plot Led To Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s ‘VETTING 2: THE VETTENING’

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

How far does it go? All the way to the top!Sad lumpen unemployed bitter former radio talker, inveterate gossip, bridge burner, and total future Wonkette editorial trainee John Ziegler has a scoop that can no longer be confirmed by his alleged source, late American blogger Andrew Breitbart, and boy is it a doozy! According to Ziegler, Drudge was in man-love with Barack Obama and kept bad stories about him from ever appearing on his massively influential and ratshit-strewn website, “The Drudge Chronicles”; Breitbart and Drudge didn’t talk more than twice in 10 years; and totally way more than that. Read on, Wonkers, for the night of the long knives is upon us!

It’s John Ziegler’s story and he’s sticking to it:

It became very clear to me during the 2008 primary season that, for whatever reason, the Drudge Report was completely in the tank for the Obama campaign. When I addressed this concern with Breitbart, he readily agreed and admitted great frustration at what was happening. He even revealed that on several occasions he had tried to post prominent “negative” stories about Obama on the site but had seen Drudge take the highly unusual step of not only moving them down the page but also taking them off the site completely.

On some occasions, Andrew told me that Drudge even totally cut off his ability to update the web page and completely stopped linking to Breitbart’s site (which he interpreted as Drudge’s way of reminding him who the boss was).

Here is Ziegler’s SHOCKING ACCOUNT of at least one time Drudge was “in the tank” for Obama.

On February 18, 2008, Michelle Obama famously told two different crowds that Barack’s success running for president was the first time in her “adult life” that she was “really proud” of her country. When Breitbart ended his shift that evening the story dramatically led the Drudge Report. However, just a few minutes later when Drudge himself stepped in, the link (along with two others charging Obama with plagiarism) was suddenly nowhere to be found. The story quickly died and never reached the level of “common knowledge.”

Your editrix remembers that, all the people in the media totally refusing to make that a story, and how, consequently, no one ever heard of it at all. And here is a time Ziegler says Breitbart totally called Drudge gay.

Breitbart never really knew why Drudge took this obvious pro-Obama position (interestingly, he told me they had only spoken twice in the approximately ten years he had help run the site at that point). He theorized that perhaps Drudge had become too “Europeanized,” but I personally concluded that Drudge simply knew that having Obama around would be fantastic for business. Breitbart never wanted to divulge any of this publicly out of respect for (and fear of) of Drudge, but the Andrew I knew would have wanted people to know about this after he was gone.

(Our emphasis.) Maybe the best part of all of this, besides all of this, is that little part right at the end there, where Ziegler assures us Ghost Andrew Breitbart would totally want him to divulge the thing he never wanted to divulge. Because that’s how these guys’ brains just work, you know? [Media Malpractice, via OC Weekly]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 205 comments }

Madfall March 9, 2012 at 3:52 pm

That title makes my brain do roller coaster things.

GuyClinch March 9, 2012 at 4:07 pm

How do you think I feel? Just read this on my phone while visiting Six Flags

Madfall March 9, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Clearly you have moral superiority here.

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Personally, I'm waiting til Vetting IV: The Vettening Solution comes out so I can find out how Connor MacLeod survived the ozone layer depletion.

Madfall March 9, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I feel obliged to ask if we're talking about Christopher Lambert or the vastly inferior Adrian Paul version now. And I feel dirty with my need to know.

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Well, I understand your point, but to me, they're nearly interchangeable: two nearly incomprehensible actors.

At least Lambert had a good reason.

SorosBot March 9, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Oh it's sad when former lovers quarrel like this; must have been a rough breakup.

freakishlywrong March 9, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Word. Someone was dropping the soap and someone else was sticking it in the corn hole. (Can we still do butsecks)?

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Corn puns were last thread, however.

prommie March 9, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Ass-fucking, the traditional wonkette term is ass-fucking, and if that term is now persona non grata, so to speak, then all I can say is the old Wonkette I knew is dead.

SorosBot March 9, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Ass-fucking will always be a Wonkette tradition, like Butterstick.

Not_So_Much March 9, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Ever since 'Last Tango in Paris', the two have been inextricably entwined.

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Many eggs were broken, yes

SorosBot March 9, 2012 at 5:04 pm

There were no eggs involved; that's where the gays are lucky, they never have to worry about pregnancy from sex.

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Oh dear. I didn't think I would have to provide a citation.

C_R_Eature March 9, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Where's that Eggman!? EGGS! EGGS! EGGS!

lulzmonger March 9, 2012 at 9:34 pm

*wonders who got to be the "girl"*
*dies a little inside*

Barb March 9, 2012 at 3:55 pm

They say Andrew Breitbart died of a "Heart Attack" but the autopsy revealed he didn't have one in the beginning.

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 4:03 pm

The autopsy revealed he had one, but it was hiding behind a corpuscle

memzilla March 9, 2012 at 4:06 pm

I will give Obama props, though, for sending in Seal Team 6 to Breitbart's cardiologist's office, and changing his file from "high risk of heart attack" to "healthy as a horse ('s ass)."

prommie March 9, 2012 at 4:16 pm

His heart was probably just trying to escape.

FROTHY March 10, 2012 at 4:46 am

Wouldn't you?

jodyleek March 9, 2012 at 4:46 pm

I disagree! This lack-of-story story proves that he died of embarrassment.

Exhausted66 March 9, 2012 at 5:22 pm

More like a broken heart.

MrFizzy March 9, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Just like W needed Saddam. What's the point of being BMOC if you can't pick a fight with someone?

Chillatte March 9, 2012 at 3:56 pm

“The Drudge Chronicles: The Loser, the Bitch and the Warmonger.”

Worst. Narnia. Book. Ever.

nounverb911 March 9, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Just as long as Breitbart's still dead.

Callyson March 9, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Oh, just go get a room already, you two.

Maman March 9, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Yup. That makes total sense. Drudge is a liberal plant.

Banelm March 9, 2012 at 5:39 pm

First Rush is a plant, now Drudge… Well wadya know! The Media really WAS liberal this whole time!

FROTHY March 10, 2012 at 4:48 am

No, no, no. They're both entities that have to be watered weekly, if not more often. Ain't got nuffink to do wiv no librulz.

ManchuCandidate March 9, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Worst production of Hamlet ever.

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Well, it certainly bring a new dimension to the whole "…but know, thou noble youth, The serpent that did sting thy Fathers life, Now wears his crown." monologue

Chillatte March 9, 2012 at 4:51 pm

That's OK as long as they they don't change the ending.

lulzmonger March 9, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Methinks the man-bitches doth BAAAAAW too much.

edgydrifter March 9, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Failure is having Drudge turn off the siren over your "article."

Blueb4sunrise March 9, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Absolute copy/paste from Zig….

Andrew felt an awful lot of quilt or regret ….

Feeling the quilt……

LesBontemps March 9, 2012 at 4:17 pm

"Feeling the quilt" is the best euphemism of the week. I know I've felt a lot of quilt in my time, and I would have regretted it, too, but for the antibiotics.

chicken_thief March 9, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Proof of a cover up!

Generation[redacted] March 9, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Sounds like someone's trying feather his own nest.

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Feathering the nest.

Geminisunmars March 9, 2012 at 9:50 pm

I take little comforter in that.

prommie March 9, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Is that like biting the pillow?

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Um, more like waking the little man

Loaded_Pants March 9, 2012 at 5:38 pm

I call it "gripping the quilt".

Fare la Volpe March 9, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Flogging the bishop?

nounverb911 March 9, 2012 at 4:00 pm

So Breitbart died for his sins?

memzilla March 9, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Meh. I'm waiting for Breitbart's next big story from beyond the grave, about Bo Obama's secret Alsatian lover.

WhatTheHeck March 9, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Please. That would be an Alsatian bitch.

DonnyKerabotsos March 9, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Or would it be Alaskan? (runs and dives for cover)

anniegetyerfun March 9, 2012 at 9:28 pm

You know who ELSE had a fondness for Alsatian bitches?

FlownOver March 9, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Ziegler later clarified his statement, saying "Whu–."

Baconzgood March 9, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Ziegler,Breitbart, and Drudge….I just have to say -comment deleted by administrator- with a -comment deleted by administrator- and a -comment deleted by administrator- comment deleted by administrator- and a fuck stick with two- comment deleted by administrator- and that's all I have to say about that.

Mumbletypeg March 9, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Ziegler,Breitbart, and Drudge

I can't wait to see who plays them when the made-for-tv movie version of all this comes out.

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 4:29 pm

It sounds like a Dion DiMucci song from the 60s, only not so good.

o/~ Anybody here seen my old friend Andy? Can you tell me where he's gone? He peed a lot of people but it seems the good they…well, Andy wasn't good but he died young, so…. o/~

Baconzgood March 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I like you Mumble. You make me laugh. I'll kill you last (just joking administrator).

Mumbletypeg March 9, 2012 at 4:37 pm

It's mutual. And no, but really — reviews so far of "Game Change" are so tepid, if no one but Fey can ace a Palin portrayal, then these three stooges shouldn't require *that* much more talent to cast for a script that's practically writing itself.

jodyleek March 9, 2012 at 4:41 pm

See also: Stooges, Three.

pinkocommi March 9, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Maybe Drudge is secretly Kenyan, too.

nounverb911 March 9, 2012 at 4:04 pm

And Muslin?

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 9, 2012 at 4:14 pm

He is at least into men hugging.

seppdecker March 9, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Ghost Andrew Breitbart told me that Ziegler named his purtiest goat "Sarah."

GuyClinch March 9, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Takeaway: Drudge, NOT OBAMA, killed the Breiitbart, and Drudge has been masturbating into his sad little European hat ever since. Ziegler lives to tell the tale.

Applying for job at WND now

chicken_thief March 9, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I haven't heard Drudge deny any involvement. Jes sayin….

OhHellToTheNo March 10, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Obviously. That wasn't an ambulance that wisked Breitbart to the hospital, it was a DrudgeMobile.

Goonemeritus March 9, 2012 at 4:03 pm

I have talked to Drudge even less than twice in ten years, that doesn’t prove I love Obama even though I do love Obama.

Generation[redacted] March 9, 2012 at 4:14 pm

You helped run the site, too?

bumfug March 9, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Drudge is the most aptly named guy ever. Dickens couldn't beat that shit.

nounverb911 March 9, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Needs more Uriah Heep.

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I've always wondered, if Dickens wrote in the 1960s, he'd rename some of his characters more scatalogically.

Heepa Shit fits nicely here.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 9, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Or Mott the Hoople…, Wait, we are talking about glam bands, right?

jodyleek March 9, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Sweet!

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Gary Glitter would make an awesome Dickens name

carlgt1 March 9, 2012 at 4:19 pm

well he got pretty damn close with Barnaby Rudge! He could have had a kid in Fagin's gang called Bright Bart….

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Now that there is some fine Dickensing!

Tundra Grifter March 9, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Or Evelyn Waugh – my new totally fave guilty pleasure.

Just finished "Vile Bodies" – hilarious!

C_R_Eature March 9, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Meh. While these two are publicly slapping each others genitals around I'd really like for us to Liveblog the Funeral.

I think it would be the Respectful thing to do.

redarmyzombie March 9, 2012 at 9:50 pm

I concur, good chap.

I'm sure we here at Wonkette are very keen in holding a respectful remembrance of Andrew Brietbart's life with the utmost dignity and class. *snerk*

SexySmurf March 9, 2012 at 4:06 pm

This shit is like a soap opera (I bet that was Obama's evil twin hugging Derrick Bell).

Except I hope I'm the one who ends up with amnesia.

C_R_Eature March 9, 2012 at 4:20 pm

"As The Stomach Turns"

ProgressiveInga March 9, 2012 at 4:36 pm

"As The Tickled Prostate Turns"

/fixed

Tundra Grifter March 9, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Did you know the Pirates paid Derek Bell about $4,000,000 and never played for them!

And that was back in the day, when a million bucks was really a million bucks, and not the pitiful lunch money it has become.

C_R_Eature March 9, 2012 at 5:32 pm

It's still a mystery just how Bell became a Communist Radical Black Restitutionist with that kind of money. Oh, well, Fred Engles had a fortune too. You can't never tell.

OhHellToTheNo March 10, 2012 at 7:30 pm

This whole thing makes way less sense than "Passions" at it's craziest.

Also, is that Mitt Romney weeping on Susan Lucci's shoulder at the Daytime Emmys?

SpiderCrab March 9, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Breitbart has become quite a player from beyond the grave. I wonder who his pick was in the Derby?

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Hell with that! Gimme his NCAA bracket!

elviouslyqueer March 9, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Brei-brei would have probably picked any team that sucks the most to win the championship. If you know what I mean, and I'm sure you do.

FlownOver March 9, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I'm guessing Coulter by a neck.

BlueStateLibel March 9, 2012 at 6:25 pm

The white one of course: http://tinyurl.com/73vmr4k

prommie March 9, 2012 at 4:06 pm

What was it that somebody said about the old owner of the Chicago Bears, "he threw nickels around like they were manhole covers?" This, this is that. Insignificant specks of nothing, un-interesting, petty, dumb details of nothing, being announced with sirens and gasping shrieks of "Oh My God, the End is Nigh." Really quite ludicrous, the way these creatures are carrying on.

Tundra Grifter March 9, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Mike Ditka speaking of the late, great George Halas.

Chet Kincaid March 10, 2012 at 11:11 am

And Da Coach threw wads of gum like they were Hail Marys, also.

north_of_moscow March 9, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Just when you thought you thought this story couldn't get more underwhelming…

elviouslyqueer March 9, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Oh man. I was so looking forward to an epic Dynasty-esque catfight throwdown, and what do I get? A bunch of five-year-olds flicking boogers at each other.

ChessieNefercat March 9, 2012 at 4:17 pm

And apparently one of them is flicking them from beyond the grave.

Lascauxcaveman March 9, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Breitbart never wanted to divulge any of this publicly out of respect for (and fear of) of Drudge,

Say what you will of Andrew Breitbart, but don't forget also he was real chickenshit.

(Among other things)

WhatTheHeck March 9, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Oh dear! We are down to dredging up Drudge. Yawn.

prommie March 9, 2012 at 4:14 pm

So, when you read "Romney is the worst panderer ever," are you supposed to take that to mean that he panders badly, he has no pandering game, his pander technique is weak, or that he is too shameless about pandering, that he panders more than others pander, that he is a pander-whore? Its exactly the same as when someone says "she is the worst whore," does it mean she is the sluttiest of sluts, or the worst lay, when judged for quality against other sluts?

smokefilledroommate March 9, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Drudge Siren: Drudge closeted gay Librul!

carlgt1 March 9, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I have a theory the ghost of Breitbart walks the earth in anger since his final "smoking gun video" was such a dud.

Mahousu March 9, 2012 at 4:15 pm

So which is worse, becoming Europeanized or becoming urban?

prommie March 9, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Difficult question, "urban" is dog whistle for "blah," and lately, "brie-sipping elite," too, but most often, just "blah," while "european" usually means "elite, effete, and gayish and cowardly," but lately, is starting to mean "mooslim" on account of all the mooslem problems in Europe. So you have "Black Elite Liberal Faggots" vs. "French Faggot Elite Cowardly Mooslems." Thats bascially every bugaboo there is, to the pigfuckers, everything they fear and despise. But since "european" includes "French," that has to be the worst, nothing is worse than a cheese-eating surrender monkey.

chicken_thief March 10, 2012 at 7:02 am

"…cheese-eating surrender monkey"

Always cracks me up!

johnnyzhivago March 9, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Scoop on Obama: He never rolls the toothpaste tube up – just squeezes from the middle, making it IMPOSSIBLE for everyone else to use it.

prommie March 9, 2012 at 4:28 pm

OMG, where is my fainting couch, I am suffering an attack of the vapors!

GOPCrusher March 9, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Why! I never. * swoons *

chicken_thief March 9, 2012 at 4:44 pm

I've heard that all of *them* do it…. some people's kids!

jodyleek March 9, 2012 at 4:50 pm

It's a blah thing…you wouldn't understand.

Tundra Grifter March 9, 2012 at 5:17 pm

jz:

Did you know you can cut the end off an "empty" tube of toothpaste and get like another week's worth out of it?

GuyClinch March 9, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Hey, I remember you from when we were all squatting in that vacant joint in Chicago with Bell and Obama and Ayers and Alinsky and Drudge. You are SO right about the toothpaste thing. Gah, how that annoyed us. Always left his dirty lentil-soup bowls lying in the sink, too!

OhHellToTheNo March 10, 2012 at 7:31 pm

I have a picture of Obama squeezing a tube of toothpaste when he was in law school. I'm risking my life to tell you this.

glamourdammerung March 9, 2012 at 4:16 pm

So Drudge murdered Breitbart.

Just thought I would mention that since I know how much the flying monkey from Big Failure loves to read my comments.

DrunkIrishman March 9, 2012 at 4:17 pm

So it WAS Matt Drudge's fedora! I knew it!

mavenmaven March 9, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Its all Saul Alinsky's fault!

Generation[redacted] March 9, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Librul media got you down? Better call Saul!

CapnFatback March 9, 2012 at 4:18 pm

where Ziegler assures us Ghost Andrew Breitbart would totally want him to divulge the thing he never wanted to divulge

Just like how Ghost Derrick Bell would want Breitbart.com "interpreting" his views on Critical Race Theory.

Generation[redacted] March 9, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Oh yeah. I just got a spam from the corpse of Frightfart. News flash: Critical race theory theorizes that white people might enslave black people.

This is a shocking new development. Why hasn't the liberal media reported this?

Fare la Volpe March 9, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Who added us to that mailing list? How did Breitfart's corpse get a hold of my e-mail?

zedbot March 9, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Heaven forfend that the video of Mr. Obama just leaving his Walmart shopping cart in the empty parking space beside his instead of in the cart corral EVER GETS OUT!!! Thanks Drudge.

RadioSlut March 9, 2012 at 4:21 pm

They're getting to the core of this vette.

chicken_thief March 9, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Be careful of the center! It may sting, Ra…

iburl March 9, 2012 at 4:21 pm

You know who else is in sweet love with Obama? Flush Rimjaub, Oily Taints, Glenn Blech, and Sarah Failin.

glamourdammerung March 9, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Anyone else think our new editor did this piece just to redirect the impotent threats from Big Failure over to Drudge?

C_R_Eature March 9, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Sssssssshhhhh!

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 9, 2012 at 4:21 pm

So, the great vetting of Obama includes:

Revealing a video which PBS showed four years ago: http://blatherwatch.blogs.com/talk_radio/2012/03/

Revealing a statement that Michele Obama said four years ago and only got played in the media for a couple of weeks back then, and has been in constant hot rotation on FOX News for the last four years.

What is next? Are they going to reveal that Obama was once a Senator from Illinois? Or that his mother was white? I assume we will get another dose of Jeremiah Wright, because it is not like Obama had to give a major speech about that when it covered up by the main stream press four years ago.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 9, 2012 at 4:24 pm

I think the greatest thing I have learned in the last week since Breitbart died is that:

A) PBS is secretly conservative, and,

B) Drudge is secretly liberal.

prommie March 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm

His sister was a known thespian!

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Barack Obama was born naked in bed…with a WHITE WOMAN!

mrblifil March 9, 2012 at 4:21 pm

They totally did it.

smitallica March 9, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Just to make sure I'm clear, the problem is that the media, including apparently the RIGHT WING media like Drudge, was covering up all the bad stories about Obama and NOT that all the bad stuff about Obama was just trumped-up, conspiracy-theory horseshit and therefore not worthy of news coverage? Do I have that about right?

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Yes. It's almost like they're eating their own now.

Chet Kincaid March 10, 2012 at 11:17 am

I read that as "they're eating their own snow", and my mind immediately went to the yellow stuff.

Chichikovovich March 9, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Yes, you are 100% correct. If only the media would have reported about Michele saying she was "proud of her country" for the first time "in her adult life", when BO was nominated, or Obama saying the poorer Republicans "cling to guns and religion" or that Reverend Wright (did you know Obama sat in his church for 20 years?) said "God damn America" and that after 9-11 the "chickens had come home to roost", and that Bill Ayers was part of a plot to bomb the Pentagon and that Obama "kicked off his campaign" [ie. had one of dozens of "meet the candidate meetings"] "in Ayers' living room" and he and Obama were blood brothers, and Tony Rezko was a shady guy that bought a house close to Obama, and Obama is from Chicago which is totally corrupt and Mayor Daley cheated Richard Nixon out of the Presidency in 1960 and Obama went to elementary School in Indonesia which is totally a Muslim country and Obama's distant relatives in Kenya are poor and an aunt is an undocumented alien in New England and Obama didn't write much for the Law Review he was president of, and Obama voted not to ban a type of abortion procedure that wingnuts like to call – preposterously – "infanticide", and Obama's father was friends with some Communist, and Obama took so long to produce "Dreams of My Father" that the publisher was going to take the advance back, and ….

If only the media had told us all that stuff* that none of us have heard, ever, Obama would have been toast.

*(In wingnut-speak this means – had told us over and over again, to the exclusion of every other bit of news, sports and weather, a couple thousand more times)

Generation[redacted] March 9, 2012 at 4:50 pm

I just goes to show. You can lead a horse to a fake Kenyan birf certificat, but you can't make him stop laughing at you.

smitallica March 9, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Jesus. That was beautiful.

C_R_Eature March 9, 2012 at 5:08 pm

The WAMU radio host Diane Reims has a marvelous way of dealing with the "nobody's reporting on this conspiracy" cranks who call. She lets them spin out a bit and then asks them "So, just how did you hear about this story?" The answer is almost always a sheepish "On TV" or "On the radio."

doloras March 9, 2012 at 9:07 pm

You left out "57 States" and "Teleprompter". Hope this helps.

imissopus March 9, 2012 at 5:24 pm

I saw a piece yesterday, I think by Dave Wiegel, that said the same thing. Basically it's "How dare the media decide what is and is not important to cover!"

OneYieldRegular March 9, 2012 at 4:28 pm

This is the kind of internecine fighting that goes on behind the scenes at Scientology headquarters.

doloras March 9, 2012 at 9:09 pm

So you reckon that Karl Rove made Sarah Palin lick the bathroom floor?

OhHellToTheNo March 10, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Xenu you didn't!

SayItWithWookies March 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm

So these two notorious fabulists can't bear each other, have horrible professional jealousies, think the other one is a hack and yet they can't live without each other? Gayest version of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolfe ever.

GOPCrusher March 9, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Would make for one tremendous pay per view slap fight.

ProgressiveInga March 9, 2012 at 4:45 pm

"I swear, if you existed, I'd divorce you."
~ Martha

not that Dewey March 9, 2012 at 5:02 pm

"Another rubbing alcohol, Martha?"

"Never mix, never worry!"

C_R_Eature March 9, 2012 at 4:49 pm

It would be interesting to see this version on the Turner Classic Movie Network. I'd turn it off immediately and go for a walk.

deanbooth March 10, 2012 at 9:26 am

"Don't talk about our son*, Martha."

* James O'Keefe

chascates March 9, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Just remember: if you're a Democrat don't forget to set your clock ahead one hour on Sunday. If you're a Republican don't forget to set it back 200 years.

DustBowlBlues March 9, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Or, if your Rick Santorum, 700 years back.

SkinnyNerd March 9, 2012 at 4:33 pm

According to Ziegler, Drudge was in man-love with

I thought this was going to say Andrew. Did anybody see the obituary Drudge ran on his site for Breitbart? It went something like this:

It was a warm and sunny day in southern California. I was taking a wispy walk down the beach when the sun's golden rays glistened off the mangod's well lubricated bare chest. It was heaving heavily as he was jogging, as I recall it, in slow motion, headed towards me. I could hardly contain myself. It was . . . it was lust at first sight. After a few obligatory hellos and some perfunctory small talk, we got down to business. I offered him a job in exchange for his love. He told me he was a married man, I said, "Do not worry, our Republicans have legislated the gay away, we can be as in love as a gay day in May and no one would be the wiser." Our bodies soon thereafter formed a pretzel-like embrace. His sweat, the sand, his chest, oh my his chest. A long and loving relationship ensued, as well as a job offer. Oh how I already miss his wild look into my eyes, his passionate conversations, and his devilishly sly linking to his own site. Alas, I shall take another walk down Venice Beach tonight. It would be what Andy would have wanted.

But I paraphrase.

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Great! Now I only read to the last 49 Shades of Grey…

SkinnyNerd March 9, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Oops, did I post that on Wonkette? That was supposed to go to gaymediatycoonlovestories.com, my apologies.

elviouslyqueer March 9, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Dear Playgirl Forums:
I never thought anything like this would happen to me, but…

Chichikovovich March 9, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Wow, that's an impressive piece of writing. Reads just like "Death in Venice", if Thomas Mann had been a wingnut media guy. In Venice, California, not Italy. And instead of cholera, people dropped from heart attacks brought on by overindulgence in alcohol, rage and bile.

DemmeFatale March 9, 2012 at 6:06 pm

That was, (sniff), beautiful, man!

SkinnyNerd March 9, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Here is the actual comment he put up. I have to say, I was pretty close.

From here:

DEAR READER: In the first decade of the DRUDGEREPORT Andrew Breitbart was a constant source of energy, passion and commitment. We shared a love of headlines, a love of the news, an excitement about what's happening. I don't think there was a single day during that time when we did not flash each other or laugh with each other, or challenge each other. I still see him in my mind's eye in Venice Beach, the sunny day I met him. He was in his mid 20's. It was all there. He had a wonderful, loving family and we all feel great sadness for them today.

chicken_thief March 10, 2012 at 7:13 am

"…a single day during that time when we did not flash each other …"

Huh?! Drudge couldn't wait for the corpse to get to room temp before outting him?

sbj1964 March 9, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Breitbart,was a hater,and all of his follwers are just racist,pathedic,little punks.The right wing loons who add nothing to the content of America but vile hatred.They are all Butt Monkeys!The first time I viewed his sites I left feeling dirty.The world after this human POS is dead is a better place without him.And yet Rush still lives?

commiegirl March 9, 2012 at 7:57 pm

SBJ, while I understand your … passion? … you could switch out the names and the content would be indistinguishable from that on a lot of rightwing sites. You are welcome here, but I urge you to up your game.

The Editrix

redarmyzombie March 9, 2012 at 10:02 pm

As the old saying goes, if you have nothing nice to say, say it with Snark!

Walkinwiddaking March 9, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Drudge=Europeanized? C'mon.

ElPinche March 9, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Mean Girls 2: The GOP 2012, with twice as many drug addled alcoholic divas.

SudsMcKenzie March 9, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I've always been suspicious of people who wear Fedoras all the time.

SorosBot March 9, 2012 at 5:03 pm

And Drudge is even worse than the hipsters.

imissopus March 9, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Humphrey Bogart libel!

GOPCrusher March 9, 2012 at 4:43 pm

The thing I don't understand is, if everyone is in the tank for Obama, who do these asshats speak for?

C_R_Eature March 9, 2012 at 4:45 pm

If Andrew Breitbart were here right now, he would probably say " *Gurgle* pppppppppttthhhh! *Gurgle*,*Gurgle* Hisssssssssss. "

Fare la Volpe March 9, 2012 at 5:46 pm

BRAAAIIIIIINNNSSSS, also.

C_R_Eature March 9, 2012 at 5:54 pm

"What do we want?" BRAAAAAINS!" "When do we want it?" "BRAAAAAINS!"

IceCreamEmpress March 9, 2012 at 4:52 pm

WILL NOBODY RID US OF THESE TROUBLESOME BUFFOONS?

And yes, if any of my knights want to kill them, I promise to be all Henry II and not confiscate your lands or whatever. Or ice cream. Whatever I have dominion over, I will be looking the other way while you enjoy it.

C_R_Eature March 9, 2012 at 4:59 pm

If it pleases My Liege, might I suggest not killing them quite yet? Watching them now has finally gotten to be Fun. I, for one, cannot wait to see what kind of Madcap Antics will be in store for us in the following weeks.

Also, you can have my Ice Cream when you pry it from my cold, dead, sticky fingers.

IceCreamEmpress March 9, 2012 at 5:00 pm

"Also, you can have my Ice Cream when you pry it from my cold, dead, sticky fingers."

How do you think I got to be Empress?

C_R_Eature March 9, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Aha! Respectfully Withdrawn. *Bows very, very low*

Chichikovovich March 9, 2012 at 5:22 pm

All deference, Your Magnificence, though I suggest that C_R_Eature is correct. Remember the words of Chess Grandmaster David Bronstein: If your opponent makes an inexplicable mistake, don't try to refute it right away: it may be preparation for an even bigger one."

chascates March 9, 2012 at 4:55 pm

I think Drudge and Rush Limbaugh BOTH conspired to kill Breitbart. His media empire was draining money away from their respective media gigs so it would only make sense to off him before he became 'King Turd on Shit Island', if you will.

And I'm guessing Glenn Beck was the hit man. Now that it's out there let's see if they say anything or just ignore those allegations, which would more than prove culpability.

ALEX JONES!!!

GOPCrusher March 9, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Need to add Laura Ingraham to that plot. She's a hateful little cooze.

Toomush_Infer March 9, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Well, the Andrew I knew would have wanted everyone to know that Ziegler was a pissant, "after he was gone"…. but also, would have confessed to being "a total shitturd" in case, you know, Satan….

neiltheblaze March 9, 2012 at 4:58 pm

More like "night of the stubbly fingernails" if you ask me.

not that Dewey March 9, 2012 at 5:05 pm

The Boring Ultimatum

C_R_Eature March 9, 2012 at 5:16 pm

"Weekend at Bernie's Andy's"

Tundra Grifter March 9, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Time after time after time, the ONLY explanation for Mr. Obama's 2008 victory is that someone was in the tank for him.

First it was the liberal, lamestream media. Now it's Sludge?

Meanwhile, the GNoPee keeps telling us about the knock-down, drag-out primary fight between Sen. Clinton and Sen. Obama. I don't remember any really vicious personal stuff like Romney and Santorum and Gingrich are flinging at each other.

It's kind of like gaining weight when pregnant. Gain the lbs. eating good, healthy food, and they come off after the baby is born. Just give in and balloon up on crap food and you'll be packing those pounds the rest of your life.

Chet Kincaid March 10, 2012 at 11:30 am

Well, let's not forget that it did get chippy between Clinton and Obama, with her suggestions that he couldn't take the 4 a.m. call, was a Christian "as far as she knew", her husband basically saying he was a fraud and a "Jesse Jackson candidate", getting surrogates like Ed Rendell to question Obama's manhood (an odd vector of attack for Hillary, I think) and some of her PUMA supporters losing their minds in anger and practically turning into conservatives after she lost, if they weren't wingtard plants to begin with. But all's well that ends well!

ElPinche March 9, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Oh man, but time is running out! Ziegler's "movie" is only showing in one "theater" in Texas, the Studio Movie Grill/Texaco Kippered Beef Stop in Plano on March 11 !!!!!

imissopus March 9, 2012 at 5:30 pm

I recall once when Jon Stewart interviewed then-Senator Obama during the '08 campaign and asked him, "If elected, sir, will you in fact enslave the white race?" And Obama simply laughed and laughed and mentioned that he is half-white himself, but he never denied it! And Drudge didn't give the story so much as a mention. His radical plan is right out there in the open, he's just waiting for a second term! Wake up sheeple!! He's just waiting for his second term!

NellCote71 March 9, 2012 at 5:41 pm

But Sarah Palin is wise to Obama's plan for enslaving the entire country (c.f. earlier post on Honey Grifter's [hat's off to whoever for that moniker] exegesis on the socio-political and economic constructs of pre-Civil War America).

annettaj March 9, 2012 at 5:44 pm

John, get your ass back in the house you ain't took
your meds yet and you have to finish bathing mama and cooking the
mush and pigs feet.

Chet Kincaid March 9, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Even if somebody has already, I'm going to say it: Oh for fuck's sake.

Naked_Bunny March 9, 2012 at 5:49 pm

I'm very confused about all these vet stories. Did Breitbart die because he was being treated by a veterinarian? Presumably one specializing in vermin?

Deportably_Jose March 9, 2012 at 5:50 pm

He theorized that perhaps Drudge had become too “Europeanized,”

Wait, "Europeanized" is a euphemism for homosexuality? All this time, I was under the impression that it was a euphemism for socialism, and syllogistically, implicitly also for Jews.

Because the wingnuts haven't actually moved all that far from what they thought 70 years ago.

C_R_Eature March 9, 2012 at 6:00 pm

II thought this year's Code Phrase for "People who laugh at us and piss us off" was"Coastal Elites." I'm Confused, now. I must have missed a Memo, or a meeting or something.

ingloriousbytch March 9, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Do we have any details on Breitbart's funeral? I want to know who delivered the fuckyoulogy.

Naked_Bunny March 9, 2012 at 7:35 pm

O'Keefe will be videotaping it and sending the edited product to cable news stations afterward.

ttommyunger March 9, 2012 at 8:20 pm

I understand they've buried him several times, but various Wonketeers keep digging him up to poke fun at him…..Makes sense to me.

ttommyunger March 9, 2012 at 8:21 pm

But how does this affect Lou Sarah?

lulzmonger March 9, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Actually, Ziegler's run-down on Breitbart's MO seemed dead-on to me. He never promo'd his real nasty pieces beforehand, but he sure the hell pimped this weak "VETTING" shite at CPAC like a hippie desperate to get rid of his last (& skimpiest) dimebag. At a guess I'd say he knew damn well Obama's odds of a second term were (& are) excellent … & for him that outcome was fine & dandy, since he could then look forward to bilking MOAR easy money from the rubes.

This "Vet Obama" horseshit isn't meant to convert anyone to voting GOP – it's a naked ploy to buck up steadily imploding voter enthusiasm on the right … & I think it's arriving about three or four months early. In politics as in comedy, timing is king – & these goobers aren't going to be playing BeBop any time soon.

Of course the REAL "Media Malpractice" happened in Kentucky in 2008, when a local news station gave John McCain a box of free donuts … but WITH NO SPRINKLES … which is the real reason he later lost the election.

valthemus March 10, 2012 at 12:46 am

"According to Ziegler, Drudge was in man-love with Barack Obama…"

He's into black guys? Yesss!!

(If wanting sexytime with Matt Drudge is wrong, JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE, BITCHES!!)

poncho_pilot March 10, 2012 at 4:05 am

O. M. F. G. was that a goddamn Highlander reference? if it was i might be in love. or drunk. they don't seem too different to me usually.

Manhattan123 March 10, 2012 at 1:03 pm

This is good news for Tucker Carlson.

Chillatte March 9, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Directed by Uwe Boll. Soundtrack by Chad Kroeger of Nickelback.

actor212 March 9, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Worse….he's bi(laterally symmetrical)!!!!!!!!!

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 9, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Featuring Kirk Cameron as you've never seen him before!

Chillatte March 9, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Danny Bonaduce; he could play all three roles effortlessly.

jodyleek March 9, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Ahem, I believe that's "TV's Kirk Cameron".

DemmeFatale March 9, 2012 at 5:55 pm

They should go to The Villages.
It's where mean girls go to die.

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 10, 2012 at 1:25 am

Yes, thank you for that gentle reminder.

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