Buttsechs.Meet Mary Brown, 56, of (where else?) Florida. She is the lead plaintiff in the National Federation of Independent Business’s lawsuit to overturn Obamakkkare, which is expected to be heard later this month by the Nine Hepcats and Kittens of the Supreme Court, because she ain’t want insurance, Ain’t NOoBama1 tellin’ her what to do, Hitler, socialisms, and etc. But has Miz Brown perhaps brought complete and utter humiliation to the hacks of the NFIB, by having accidentally neglected to inform them she’d had a bankruptcy that was in part brought on by unpaid medical bills? And has she responded to the LA Times‘ inquiry into same with an elegant and spittle-flecked rage-on? Well duh.

Said a lawyer for the NFIB to the Los Angeles Times, Brown “doesn’t have insurance. She doesn’t want to pay for it. And she doesn’t want the government to tell her she has to have it.” Darned tootin’.

But court records reveal that Brown and her husband filed for bankruptcy last fall with $4,500 in unpaid medical bills. Those bills could change Brown from a symbol of proud independence into an example of exactly the problem the healthcare law was intended to address.

[…] Obama administration lawyers argue that the requirement is justified because everyone, sooner or later, needs healthcare. Those who fail to have insurance are at high risk of running up bills they cannot pay, sticking the rest of society with the cost, they argue. Brown’s situation, they say, is a perfect example of exactly that kind of “uncompensated care that will ultimately be paid by others.”

Brown, reached by telephone Thursday, said the medical bills were her husband’s. “I always paid my bills, as well as my medical bills,” she said angrily. […] “Who says I don’t have insurance right now?”

Brown intends to continue as plaintiff before the Supreme Court. Lawyers at the NFIB smiled tight corpsey smiles and agreed. Said one, doubtless before swallowing a fistful of Ludes, “[A]s long as she doesn’t want healthcare, she qualifies as a plaintiff in our mind.” [LA Times]

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  • Preferred Customer

    Hey, counselor, how do you plan on paying for that fistful of 'ludes, hmmm?

    • Has my doctor been lying all these years when she tells me they don't make Sopor 714s anymore? Damn her! I'm dropping my health insurance.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Gorilla biscuits?

        • prommie

          Fucking 'ludes? Man, oh man, I wish I could travel back in time, just for the 'ludes.

          • doloras

            Apparently 'ludes are still available and popular in South Africa.

          • tessiee

            As a fellow Jerseyite, you'll probably appreciate that the Hoffman LaRoche factory in Nutley (where they made ludes) used to have a lot of ludes "disappear" right *after* inventory, on the assumption that the disappearance wouldn't be noticed until they did the next inventory six months of a year later.

    • For a Few Ludes More, she'll tell you….


    • Doktor Zoom

      Please, no more of these 'lude remarks.

      • prommie

        It inspires a pwerful longing, does it not? I have heard that gabaprofen can be similar.

        • Vicodin has been a godsend for my withdrawal.

          My rather long, but carefully planned, withdrawal

    • Schmegeg

      He will slip them into a box of condoms, then charge his insurance.

    • C_R_Eature

      "People on 'Ludes should not Drive take indigent, dumbass Clients on a doomed mission to the Supreme Court."

      • Preferred Customer

        Fortunately, that isn't one of the rules of professional conduct, which makes sense, since the rules of professional conduct were written by lawyers.

  • KennyFuckingPowers

    'Taint right! Its in the fuckin' Constitution and shit, dickhead!

  • freakishlywrong

    I'm sure she is a member of the "party of personal responsibility'. Irony is not a fly in my chardonnay.

    • WiscDad

      No…it's a turd in her beer

    • Barrelhse

      Goddamn flies.

  • Gee, the Browns are all over our Wonkete today.

  • GuanoFaucet

    “Who says I don’t have insurance right now?”

    Your own lawyer just did, dumbass.

    • Brown, reached by telephone Thursday, said the medical bills were her husband’s.

      Now we know who wears the pants in THAT family…

    • LesBontemps

      Supposed to be what actually makes you a "plaintiff," with "standing." But if Madame Brown insists, I'm sure a motion to dismiss can be arranged.

      • That's what got me about that quote: If you have it, then the motion to dismiss ought to be a slam dunk, and if you don't then while you might win a few points in court, the massive publicity about the default on medical bills will be more than enough propaganda to feed not only Obamacare but a fresh debate on single-payer insurance.

    • prommie

      Apparently there is a fine line between "not wanting to HAVE insurance," and "not wanting to be TOLD you have to have insurance." She seems to want insurance, but goddammit, noone is gonna tell her she has to have insurance.

      • UnholyMoses

        She seems to want other people to pay for her insurance, but goddammit, noone is gonna tell her she has to have to pay for Those Other People's insurance.

        Fixed for greatest accuracy!

      • Sue4466

        My mom always wore her seatbelt. Until the state passed a law requiring seatbelts. Because no one was going to tell her she had to wear a seatbelt.

        So yes. People really are that stupid. And willing to hurt themselves for spite.

        If she were alive, I fear my mother would be a Tbagger.

        • Someone should tell Mary Brown that the Obama has ordered everyone to continue breathing.

          (Note to Editrix: not intended to be taken literally.)

        • doloras

          Ah, so just like all those people who would have never called people r#t&rds or written gory death fantasies in these comments boxes until it became forbidden?

          • heathenette

            Eaxctly!(That’s how I felt, anyway.)

    • elviouslyqueer

      Um, what is "The fact that your only income is $275 a month from unemployment benefits," Alex?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Everybody in America has insurance. You just go to the ER.

      See, there is a free lunch!

      • heathenette

        They give you lunch in the ER? Who knew?

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    This might be the Republicans best argument: Why should you be forced to have health insurance, when you can just not pay the bills and stick them to the state on your own?

    • LesBontemps

      Not the state, but the docs and hospitals providing the care, who now have only unsecured creditors' claims in the bankruptcy — technically known as "bupkis."

  • Barb

    "…Said a lawyer for the NFIB"
    Not Fucking Insured Brown?

    Who does she think absorbs the cost of those unpaid medical bills of her husband's? We do. It's okay for her to be a burden on society, eh?

    • Newt's Favorite Ignorent Bozos?
      Need to Fall into Inexcusable Bankruptcy?
      Naked Foosball Is Ballsy?

    • GOPCrusher

      Seems like the fact that they filed bankruptcy with 4500 bucks worth of medical bills is a perfect example of why we need the insurance mandate, or better yet, single-payer.

  • Major Thom

    Brown's attorney, Oily Taint, had no comment.

  • ttommyunger

    We call this (in Missouri) a Revolving Waffle: where you try to fuck someone else in the ass and wind up getting ass-fucked yourself. Always nice to see a Fucktard perform a perfect Revolving Waffle.

    • Doktor Zoom

      You see what happens? You see what happens when you find a stranger in the alps?

      • prommie

        Is that really what they replaced it with?

        • Doktor Zoom

          "In a version that was edited for television broadcasts, the famous line "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!" was changed to "This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!", which is regularly cited as one of the most "creative" edits made for a film to be aired on TV." —IMDB

          • prommie

            Gee willikers, thats a doozy for sure.

      • 40 or 50 % McShineys


    • Goonemeritus

      Never let it be said that the great State of Missouri has not contributed to American culture.

      • Wish they'd stopped at Dizzy Dean, Thomas Hart Benton and Chuck Berry.

      • ttommyunger

        You just said it, and I agree with it. Well, maybe not never, but rarely.

    • teebob2000

      Whew!! Close one!!! You *almost* said skullfuck I'll bet.

      • ttommyunger

        Almost doesn't count, heh, heh.

    • ttommyunger

      I live in a top contender (GA).

  • Tundra Grifter

    She's the alleged plaintiff but she doesn't have the money to pay her attorneys?

    And the right wing nutz have the nerve to call Ms. Sandra Fluke a plant?

    • You have to know they've pulled out their casting directory, looking for a more credible actor

      Maybe Yerrow Gull is available.

    • NellCote71

      They should have an Olympics for that, but with only southern and certain western states (I am talking to you, Arizona) as members.

    • Mary Brown is obvs a prostitute and a slut. And the unpaid medical bills involved her unfortunate husband's devout wish to be trepanned.

      • Before this suit goes forward, can we demand a transvaginal ultrasound?

        • teebob2000

          You mean you want to give one, or receive one?

      • GOPCrusher

        How did you come to contract this social disease, Mary Brown?

    • If I'm reading the story right, it was the business group that initiated the story that probably went out and found this woman and convinced her to sign on as the actual plaintiff. One of the lawyers around here can probably phrase it better, but any lawsuit like this needs to find an individual as named plaintiff to demonstrate the harm resulting from the law they are suing over. Which means the business federation is probably paying Brown's legal bills. Something similar happened in the case to overturn Prop 8 – the lawyers (David Boies and Ted Olson) found two gay couples who agreed to be the named plaintiffs in the suit, and go into court and testify to how the law harmed them.

      • The same thing happened in the Scopes trial. That was more a group picking a fight to get a law overturned than the state persecuting a defenseless teacher.

        • Doktor Zoom

          See also Roe v Wade.

  • SorosBot

    That's not the rugged individualism and free market principals the NFIB believes in!

  • Wilcoxyz

    Not getting sick while not having insurance is the new teen abstinence pledge.

  • Can I be the one who kicks her ass out of the ER for voluntarily not having insurance? I'm in the mood to kick to TP'ers ass.

    • Yes.Yes you can!

    • Callyson

      As long as you let me help.

  • neiltheblaze

    I wonder if she intends to pay her lawyers fees.

    • ChessieNefercat

      One of them heard you and just got a little paler and downed another fistful of 'ludes.

    • yrbmegr

      Probably bought the lien on her house.

  • Callyson

    Brown “doesn’t have insurance. She doesn’t want to pay for it."
    Which investment bank does she work for? Because she's a perfect fit for Wall Street.

  • She is an emblem of Personal Responsibility. Upcoming case before the Supreme Court will be Santorum v. College. Lead plaintiff, Joe the Plumber.

  • Obamakkkare

    And now I have "bukkake" stuck in my head.

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      And now I have "bukkake" stuck ON my head.


    • SayItWithWookies

      Try peanut oil — if it can get bubble gum out of hair, it can unstick anything.

    • You're doing it wrong.

  • An_Outhouse

    Shit for brains inbred Republitards have shit for brains.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Hey, you know whose country doesn't have any families going bankrupt due to their medical bills?

    • Nearly anyplace but America?

      Or, "All of them, Katie." You choose

    • chicken_thief

      The Kenyans native Kenya?

    • Chichikovovich

      I do so love Al Franken – thanks for reminding me of that wonderful moment. The only thing that could have made it better would have been if Franken had said "So you have come before us to say that national health insurance would increase medical bankruptcies, and you haven't looked at the most elementary empirical evidence? We didn't need to pay for you to come here – we could have pulled people off the street to just make stuff up to fit their prejudices."

    • tihond

      I don't have that number with me, I'll have to get back to you.

      • 40 or 50 % McShineys

        She'll get that number right after the Kochs finish taking over the Cato Institute and manufacture a new 'study'

        • OhNoGuy

          "I don't have that number with me, I'll have to get back to you." = "I'm so sorry, I'm a simple prostitute and I'm not permitted to speak the truth. About anything."

    • C_R_Eature

      Israel? Commies!

  • Goonemeritus

    It’s every Americans right to be stupid and God knows we treasure that right above all others. It is not every Americans right to tack the cost of their stupidity on to my health care premiums.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Clearly, stupidity and poverty are liberal plots to make stupidity and poverty look bad.

  • An_Outhouse

    Payin' for health insurance = soshulism.
    Havin' everyone else pay for my health care = Red White and Blue Amurikan Way!

    • GOPCrusher

      Unless you are poor, or a minority, or a woman getting contraceptives/abortions then we're back to soshulism.

  • AlterNewt

    I don't understand "New America".

    • freakishlywrong

      We refer to it as "post January 2009 America", or, "holy fuck there's a near in the White House America".

  • Tundra Grifter

    From the LA TImes article:

    "'There was time pressure' to find a plaintiff for the case, Harned [a lawyer for the National Federation of Independent Business] said. 'And candidly, it is not as easy as it sounds' to find someone. She recalls that Brown was outspoken and stepped forward as a volunteer."

    Candidly, one batshit crazy lady in a red dress waving her birtheir certificate around in a Baggie is a whole lot like another batshit crazy lady in a red dress waving around her birthier certificate in a Baggie.

    • Y'know, if you have to work this hard to find a plaintiff (presumably there's a statute of limitations) then maybe you need to reassess your opposition…

    • yrbmegr

      Sanctions, anyone?

    • heathenette

      You go to court with the plaintif you HAVE, not the one you wish you had.

  • Sassomatic

    What more do you expect from people who protest having to pay any taxes in a public park.

  • SorosBot

    What can Brown do for you? Not pay her bills, that's for damn sure!

  • prommie

    We are being tempted, or should I say, bated, unmercifully. First we are advised that it is completely beyond the pale of acceptable political discourse to use a common term for the intellectually disabled to make fun of people, and then, we are treated to a string of posts informing us of the various incredibly stupid antics of persons who have rightfully earned the sobriquet we have been forbidden to use. I do not think this is coincidence. Never has a single day brought to us the risible tales of people so deficient in normal mental functioning, and this, right after we are told not to call people the "R-word." These people scream for that label, the mental status which dare not speak its name.

    • prommie

      I think this chick's messing with our minds, man.

    • I'll write a proper response to your excellent post just as soon as I finish fucking this skull I got here.

    • kingofmeh

      hypocrisy is not a developmental disability. i'd wager that the average DD person would be aware that this kind of behavior is hypocritical. it takes a certain amount of intellectual sophistication to trick yourself into believing totally contradictory notions.

    • R-word?


    • Doktor Zoom

      Really, Prommie, give it a rest. You're just reaching.

    • Toomush_Infer

      So it was Mental Health Insurance Mrs. Brown didn't want to pay for?…

    • GOPCrusher

      Like jabbing at a pit bull through a chain link fence with a stick.

    • MissNancyPriss

      That's exactly what I think. That we are are being baited into it by virute of the stories themselves. There IS no other word to describe these people. I bet they are all sitting around laughing at us.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        And drooling.

      • HistoriCat

        The secret staff chat-room is probably full of LOLs at our expense.

        • commiegirl

          Actually, HistoriCat, fuck yeah.

          • HistoriCat

            Oh shit – now I've done it!

          • elviouslyqueer

            Been nice knowing you, H_C.

    • C_R_Eature

      Really Everyone – Try to Accept Reality, Dig?

    • yrbmegr

      "Never go full retard."

    • AbandonHope

      "Remarkable". The term is "remarkable".

  • barto


    over half of all bankruptcies are due to medical bills

    3/4 of those had insurance at the onset of the illness

    Ain't the US a wondrous place?

    • Doktor Zoom

      You know what that is, what you just said there? That's class warfare, and possibly treason.

  • FNMA

    Where the fuck are those death panels when you really need them?

  • GuanoFaucet

    Brown's medical bills were probably for treatment of injuries suffered in a meth lab explosion.

  • Goonemeritus

    Brown V Irony is destined to be the next great Brown V. ….. Supreme Court decision.

  • chicken_thief

    Good vetting job, NFIB!

    • "The UnVetting". I think this habit began sometime in 2008, with Steve Schmidt and John McCain. Keep it up, diltards!

      • SorosBot

        But Obama was never vetted – despite the media looking into every single little detail of his past.

  • Is shit for brains covered under Obamacare?

    • GOPCrusher

      We don't know. No one had the chance to read the bill before it was crammed down our throats.

    • Many states are seeking craniofecal waivers.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Do not make fun of this woman.

    Yeesh. I hope she's been on the pill.

    • Chichikovovich

      Now there's a woman who needs to spend a few extra dollars to get her clothes at JC Penney. Politics be damned.

    • That's not a woman, that is Chicago radio legend Steve Dahl, right down to the Hawaiian shirt!!

    • John Goodman is suing the administration????

    • Toomush_Infer

      Not necessary….

    • GOPCrusher

      Is she holding a cigarette?

      • SoBeach

        Looks like it. Goes a long way toward explaining why she doesn't want to buy insurance. Coverage for older, obese smokers has to cost a fortune.

      • Iam_Who_Iam

        That's certainly what it looks like. Obviously she doesn't need health insurance, picture of health that one.

        Oops sorry SoBeach, I should of refreshed before I posted. Also, too: Did they mention this woman's age? If you damn near qualify for Medicare should you be able to sue over government healthcare?

      • chicken_thief

        Cigarette, walking shoes, and Ms Bankrupt Brown drives a Town Car. The irony is every-fucking-where with this heffer.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    The idiot is strong with this one.

    • prommie

      Careful with that I-word, thats just the older medical term for R-word.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog


    • SorosBot

      This is one moran who needs to get a brain.

  • Barb

    This bitch pisses me off. I ran up a $37,000.00 medical bill last month and my insurance covered 70% of it. The way to say "thank you" to the anesthesiologist for keeping you "seepie-byes" while they cut you open is to pay the freaking bill. I hated writing out those checks last week but I did it. Every single one of them is paid in full. I would have much rather spent that money on a new car or something else.

    If she HAS insurance then she has nothing to bitch about.

    • That is uniquely American, Barb. Guess you'll need to work three jobs.

      • Barb

        I'm a trophy wife. My job is making those meatballs today and making sure that the beer is cold when Jeffery gets home. LOL
        Crap! I forgot that today is payday. I need to call Jeffery and tell him that his mother is the most interesting woman I've ever met.

        • Barb, I think I love you.

          • Barb

            Love ya back! Want a meatball?

          • And how! Please send it via parcel post to:
            Guy Clinch
            c/o Santorum for Prez!
            PO Box Zero
            Bunghole PA 11011

            And go ahead and let it sit on the counter for a few weeks before mailing.

        • So you'll be spending the weekend with your legs in the air, I take it?

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Can't you sell your uterus for parts?

      • Barb

        Yeah, I've got in on cinder blocks in the garage.

        • OK, I laughed. And I don't often laugh

          The Ford Uterus: Comes with its own garage.

          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            The new Japanese models have a back up camera. You know, for those times you feel like mixing it up a little.

          • Barb

            The Ford Transvaginal Probe.

          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            (Insert Volvo pun of your choice here)

          • Is that an overhead cam?

          • WhatTheHeck

            yeah. Its attached to the crankshaft.

          • DahBoner

            I'm gonna put it up on the lift and go down under for a little maintenence…

          • ProgressiveInga

            Urethra Franklin drives one!

    • kingofmeh

      i understand "a fifth of whiskey" and "a belt to bite on while they cut you" is fully covered under most health care plans.

  • Is today Idiot Day?

    • prommie

      Imbecile? Moron?

    • BarackMyWorld

      This year, every day has been idiot day.

  • teebob2000

    NOBama and their Chicago-style ganstas planted her to make white people look bad!!!!!11

  • Brown "doesn't have insurance. She doesn't want to pay for it. And she doesn't want the government to tell her she has to have it," said Karen Harned, a lawyer for the National Federation of Independent Business. Brown is a plaintiff in the federation's case, which the Supreme Court plans to hear later this month.

    Brown, reached by telephone Thursday, said the medical bills were her husband's. "I always paid my bills, as well as my medical bills," she said angrily. "I never said medical insurance is not a necessity. It should be anyone's right to what kind of health insurance they have.

    "I believe that anyone has unforeseen things that happen to them that are beyond their control," Brown said. "Who says I don't have insurance right now?"

    I don't get it. Did this organization hire lawyers from some sort of Ringling Bros. Klown Lawyer Kollege? Is Orly Taitz a consultant on this?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Ringling is a real campus in Tampa, yes.

    • OhNoGuy

      If she had insurance they would have had her lips sewn shut. As a precaution, dontcha know.

  • DaRooster

    “I always paid my bills, as well as my medical bills…”

    "… but these are my husband's bills… so fuck him."

    • GOPCrusher


    • VaWyo

      Those bills came from a trip to the doctor after he ate her famous possum stew.

  • Chichikovovich

    said the medical bills were her husband’s. “I always paid my bills, as well as my medical bills,”

    This is a first-rate idea. If the credit card bill is more than I want to pay next month, I'll just tell them that Chichikovna bought that stuff, so we don't really owe anything.

    She should tell the Bankruptcy Court fast, so that they can just cancel the debts, so that everyone can have a hearty laugh about the silly misunderstanding.

  • "I believe that anyone has unforeseen things that happen to them that are beyond their control," Brown said.

    And yet with the SCOTUS we have today, this case is in no way a slam dunk.

  • pinkocommi

    Ahhh the US… the land where an apple a day keeps bankruptcy away.

  • joshleefolsom

    What would Ron Paul do with her? Feed her to zoo animals I think.

    • chicken_thief

      Why does Ron Paul hate the zoo animals so much?!

  • C_R_Eature

    So…the lead plaintiff in the National Federation of Independent Business’s lawsuit to overturn "Obamacare" (AKA the "Affordable Care Act") is in Medical Bankruptcy.

    The very same thing the Affordable Care Act was designed to prevent, is preventing now and will be far more effective in preventing when it's fully implemented?

    The Schaden, it freudes itself.

    • 40 or 50 % McShineys

      I am thinking that somewhere, in Free-Market Republitonia, there is a mandate requiring all Schadens must provide for their own freuding.

      • C_R_Eature

        Yes, a land where no slothful Schadens mooch valuable freude off of the hardworking Producer class.

  • Brown, reached by telephone Thursday, said the medical bills were her husband’s. “I always paid my bills, as well as my medical bills,” she said angrily. […] “Who says I don’t have insurance right now?”

    Ignoring the outright lie of the first part of that statement, the second part is the main problem. But then, I have better insurance than anyone else I know personally and have spent $700+ a month on prescriptions between me and my spouse .

  • MadBrahms

    So the appropriate response from the right is "LET HER DIE", basically?

    • IceCreamEmpress

      No, no, you're forgetting IOKIYAR.

  • CheeseNPear

    In the future, we will all be plaintiffs in our own minds

  • anniegetyerfun

    "Those bills could change Brown from a symbol of proud independence into an example of exactly the problem the healthcare law was intended to address."

    This is precisely what those death panels were for*.

    *No, I don't REALLY want her to die, Editrix.

  • MissNancyPriss

    Has anyone seen a photo of Ms Brown?

  • owhatever

    She expects justice from them Supreme Court judges who get paid by the same federal government that wants her to have insurance? Good luck with that.

  • DahBoner

    Help me out, legal people…

    How do you say "Ain't no n****r gonna tell me what to do" in Latin?

  • teebob2000

    Best alt-text ever.

  • Fox n Fiends

    Insurance is SO european.

  • Isyaignert

    Someone needs to remind this fidiot that 45,000 Americans die every YEAR because they don't have access to healthcare. That's the same as fifteen 9/11s every fukkin' year.

    • unclejeems

      Plainly, if she don't give s**t about her husband, she ain't gonna spill a few tears over 45,000 of her fellow citizens.

      Thousands dead? Just a statistic.

  • horsedreamer_1

    A plaintiff's attorney with a Teabagger for a client is foolish.

  • orygoon

    Reminds me of that bitch in the news who won a million bucks, more or less, in the Michigan lottery, but failed to remover herself from the food stamp rolls. Some people are not as good as other people.

  • tessiee

    Mary Brown having healthcare paid for by everyone else via the ER = freedumbz
    Totally separate and unrelated Mary, who IS brown, having healthcare paid for by Obamacare = HANDOUTS SOSHULIZM END OF THE WORLD WHARRGARRBL!!!

  • Buckminster

    Someone explain the concept of "insurance" to the nice lady. Nobody needs insurance until your house burns down, or you get hit by a car or you get cancer.

  • swordfis

    It's somehow reminiscent of Dead Souls

  • fuflans

    oh this is just delicious.

  • Pittsburgh58

    Hospital beds are increasingly full of these wingnuts-uninsured, very aware of their "rights" to healthcare (um -a right by the way given to them by the dreaded gummint), refusing to pay their bill and demanding write-offs because their lunch tray was a bit too cold . It's quite a charming slice of the new america.

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