hoof in mouth syndrome

Palin: Obama Seems To Want To Go Back To The Days Of Slavery

yes so true.

Sarah Palin went on Heinity on Thursday to do some sort of to-the-core-of-the-earth analysis of something Obama-related, god knows what, but perhaps hugs? (Hannity describes it as a “sort of bit of information,” which is the closest any conservative has come to admitting how flea-sized this incident is.) And the gist was Sean Hannity asking Palin what all “this” “means.” Something something, Obama’s hug of a guy, “class warfare” and attempts to help the broke suggest that the president is “bringing us back” to the era in which blacks were considered to be 3/5 of a person. It’s true, this — wanting equality, supporting others who do — is a true replica of slavery, you can’t even tell the two apart.

Some of the exchange:

Hannity: Bleebloopityblahblah?

Palin: He is bringing us back, Sean, to days, uh — you can harken back to days before the Civil War when unfortunately too many Americans mistakenly believed that not all men were created equal.

What a thing. What a day. Palin goes on to say (WARNING: CRAP ENGLISH FOLLOWS):

Palin: And it was the Civil War that began the codification of the truth that here in America, yes we are equal, and we all have equal opportunities, not based on the color of your skin. You have equal opportunity to work hard and to succeed and to embrace the opportunities, god-given opportunities to develop resources, to work extremely hard, and to, as I say, to succeed. Now, it has taken all these years for many Americans to understand that — that gravity, that mistake took place before the Civil War, and why the Civil War, had to really start changing America. What Barack Obama seems to want to do is go back to before those days when we were in different classes based on income, based on color of skin. Why are we allowing our country to move backwards instead of moving forward –

Hannity: Whu–

Palin: — with that understanding that as our charters of liberty spell out for us, that we are all created equally.

Incuriouser and incuriouser! Whatever could this white lady be talking about? That welfare encourages people historically deprived of opportunities to continue to not have them? That rich people are more sensitive than others and poor people should be considerate of that? That health care saves people’s teeth from falling out, which causes them to be too elitist? Please let us know, if you know. [Media Matters]

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Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

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230 comments

    1. MegPasadena

      Considering the size of her head, it is amazing how little sign of a brain exists in there.
      Oh well, I guess it is all looks.
      Could we say tofu or concrete brain?

      1. BarackMyWorld

        It'd certainly make it easier to rear his head into our airspace.

        (I remember people trying to tell me she didn't literally mean Putin flew through Alaska on his way to New York or Washington, D.C. (despite the fact the route from Moscow to the east coast probably doesn't include flying through Siberia and Canada). To say those people really overestimated Palin's grasp of both symbolism and geography is putting it mildly.)

      2. Terry

        He'll take it back, then have a photo op where he's standing on the Al-Can Highway at the Canadian border, shirtless and flexing.

  1. nounverb911

    "those days when we were in different classes based on income, based on color of skin"
    How dare Palin defame Newt's current platform.

  2. ManchuCandidate

    US America History as explained by a Palin:

    We the people. Blahblahblahblahblahblah blah blah blah blah Aliens blah blah blah blah Slavery blah blah Negroes blah blah blah WW2 blah blah Hippies blah blah Red Dawn blah blah blah Raygun blah blah Red Dawn Dirty Dancing blah blah blah Mandingo blah blah blah blah Raygun blah blah Iraq did 9/11 blah blah Obamer Palin Palin Dancing with the Stars blah Palin. The end.

  3. neiltheblaze

    Sarah Palin – bringing the same depth and understanding to history as she does to sex education.

    1. Slim_Pickins

      Well she is considered to be the country's leading public intellectual by some segments of American society.

        1. Jus_Wonderin

          Ya know, even if I had something to post that was as good as Barb's, and I don't. I could in no way get it posted as fast as she does.

          I think Barb has a time dilation device.

          Nah, she's just sharp as a tack!!!!

          1. flamingpdog

            Barb can be the tack that the nasty co-worker's kid leaves on my office chair any time.

  4. Crank_Tango

    Dear Snowkunt,
    I am judging you by the content of your character. Also, I am crushing your head.
    Sincerely,
    Crank

    1. 40 or 50 % McShineys

      I am crushing your head with votes, of course!

      The original Kids in the Hall reference probably machineguns teh special babbies a little too much.

  5. actor212

    What Barack Obama seems to want to do is go back to before those days when we were in different classes based on income

    Project much, Sarah?

  6. wakkumph

    Man, remember those days, when people were divided according to their income, according to the color of their skin? Man, am I glad that's over. Phew.

  7. NellCote71

    Oh, god, that hurt to read. Kids, this is your brain. This is your brain scrambled on meth.

  8. WhatTheHeck

    What the fuck is this moron talking about? Shut up. You make no sense. Idiot.
    Yet, this country deserves her as president with FoxNews acting as her Press Secretary.

  9. qwerty42

    because … uh … soshuliszm? Or is it teh Acornz? Or was it The Hug™? It's very hard to be sure with these folks. Very hard. There is just something about this President that is, somehow, different.

  10. metamarcisf

    Palin's lucky she is portrayed in "Game Change" by Julianne Moore and not Joan Rivers.

    1. NewtsChicknNeck

      so this won't break Julianne Moore's streak of consecutive films in which she gets plowed by some dude who is not her husband/boyfriend/lesbian wife?

  11. Barrelhse

    Sarah, shut your fucking pie-hole. Come back when you have something to say that is based on facts and expressed in literate English (that should keep her busy).
    Can we say Drop Dead?

  12. BerkeleyBear

    So considering people inherently inferior based on gender or race is equivalent to asking fantastically wealthy people, regardless of their background or identity, to pay a slightly higher percentage in taxes if they are fortunate enough to be fantastically wealthy? Unless there's an underlying assumption that no women or minorities ever get rich, I'm not seeing the connection. But then again, I also don't watch any of the paranormal crap on TV, don't believe Fox News is "fair and balanced" and don't give a shit who wins "American Idol" so I may not be the target audience for this comment.

    1. Troglodeity

      "So considering people inherently inferior based on gender or race is equivalent to asking fantastically wealthy people, regardless of their background or identity, to pay a slightly higher percentage in taxes if they are fortunate enough to be fantastically wealthy?" Yes. It is EXACTLY THE SAME.

  13. BarackMyWorld

    "What Barack Obama seems to want to do is go back to before those days when we were in different classes based on income, based on color of skin."

    Um…she knows Obama is black, right?

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Of course not. She doesn't see race, that's how far beyond racism she is. In fact, some of you look Asian to her.

  14. SenileAgitation

    Once again, she is clear as custard. Her point is by pointing out inequities in the current distribution of wealth, it's as if Obama has forgotten that once people didn't think so very much of the Negro, and didn't go around electing them President, for one thing, so maybe don't bring that up, OK? Because we learned the hard away about succeeding with God and now who wants to go backwards to that broken time, not me for one!

    1. NewtsChicknNeck

      you'll have to forgive Sarah. her alternative adult ed history class just got to the civil war on the syllabus. she's spent the next few public appearances talking about it. a lot.

  15. CommieLibunatic

    WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE EVEN TALKING ABOUT!?

    Sorry, I got nothin' more intelligent to say than the missive above.

  16. flamingpdog

    No snark. I watched this video on teh Wonkette last night (?rerun?). I didn't understand a word she said last night and I still don't understand it. I can't see that she even answered the question Hannity asked her. All this talk about Mittens being a robot, but I think she's the real robot, programmed to answer questions with babbly nonsense, although in this case I think the wires crossed and she answered some other question. Oh well, I have to go out and play in the dirt today – have a gneiss day, fellow masochists!

  17. Barb

    "…..here in America, yes we are equal, and we all have equal opportunities, not based on the color of your skin."

    Why does her family get special treatment and government provided health care because Todd is one quarter Yup’ik Eskimo?

      1. Barb

        Snark free, Fare…
        I could be wrong with the math here and welcome a correction. If Todd is 1/4, that would make his daughter 1/8th, and his grandchildren 1/16th, right? Where does it cut off?

        1. Fare la Volpe

          It depends on the tribe. I've known tribes that cut off the money flow at 1/8th, whereas some are so desperate for members they'll accept as far as 1/32nd. Todd definitely qualifies since according to the Interbutts his grandmother was born and raised Yup'ik.

          I'm rather amazed Sarah didn't freak out the first time she saw his willy – from her past it sounds like exotic dick was something of a sticking point.

  18. UnholyMoses

    So wanting to tax the top 1% of wage earners an extra 3% on their marginal rate, while also ensuring Americans don't go bankrupt just because they got sick, is the EXACT SAME THING as white folks owning/beating/lynching teh blahs?

    Huh.

    I, uh … yeah.

    Huh.

    1. C_R_Eature

      That's as concise a description of Palin's whole Career of Exhibitionism as I've ever seen. I'm just glad there's no sound.

      1. MadBrahms

        For some reason "cotton-eyed joe" plays as background music in my head whenever I see that GIF.

  19. SorosBot

    Because acknowledging that racism or class differences exist in America, and trying to do something to fix it, is the real racism / is class warfare.

    1. MadBrahms

      But America is like Ronald Reagan on a unicorn, riding a rainbow toward a beautiful future while shooting at wolves below with an assault rifle. Why can't we all unite behind this vision / reality?

  20. soeoho

    Considering her vast knowledge of American history i.e. Paul Revere and his attempt to take away John Wilkes Booth's gun rights over British silly spelling habits I just don't see the issue with her…don't see the issue with her…don't see the issue with her…don't see the issue with her…

    1. ChessieNefercat

      That furry stuff in the back of the refrigerator has more lucid thoughts than Palin, and reproduces at a more measured pace.

  21. prommie

    I can't wait till she shows up at the convention and they immediately nominate her by unanimous voice vote! Then when she gets elected, she can use the federal authorities to go after her sister-in-law's ex!

    1. ChessieNefercat

      Letting her? They have to toss her chunks of it to keep her from really going on a rampage.

  22. mavenmaven

    It looks like the one "contribution" of Newt Gingrich's candidacy to Fox news discourse is the creation of "Alinsky" as a perjorative. I have no doubt that Palin has no idea who he was, or what he did, or that the GOP used his books as much as anyone else. It is a shame that a great man is being smeared just for Fox news talking points.

    1. finallyhappy

      I know I've said it here before but 2 degrees of separation- I have a friend who knew Alinsky (but then I have friends who were involved in the Civil rights movement and still work for social justice here and around the world). That's right, we are socialist commie liberals.

  23. Crank_Tango

    This logic is flawless: healthcare=slavery. It always has been, and it always will be.

    Not to be confused with the holocaust, which = taxes, of course.

  24. SayItWithWookies

    It's ridiculous — we white people were dragged over here from Africa to work on the plantations and make the black man rich, and after fighting and winning our freedom, that awful Col. Obama wants to force us out into the fields again and under the lash of the overseer while he sips lemonade on the veranda. Never again!

  25. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Sarah Palin talking to Sean Hannity: Great Meeting of the Minds, or Greatest Meeting of the Minds Ever?

    1. anniegetyerfun

      The Bestest Greatest Meeting of the Smartest Brains, EVER Forever.

      Throw in a little Herman Cain, and you'd have a veritable black hole (heh) of intelligence. Brilliance so dense that it pulls in everything around it.

  26. Chet Kincaid

    So noted Historian Sarah Palin has concluded that the Civil War actually was about slavery, and not state's rights?! Well she might as well stay home from the Convention, because she just kissed the Southern Asshat vote goodbye!!

    1. Fare la Volpe

      That's "War of Northern Aggression," I'll have you know.

      (Seriously, I have actually heard people call it that down here. Someone rescue me, please).

        1. Fare la Volpe

          My new place won't be ready for 3 months – I could get mistaken for a varmint and get hunted down and field dressed in that amount of time.

          1. Chichikovovich

            You're coming to Michigan? Welcome! It's actually a great place, so long as you never set foot west of Ann Arbor.*

            [*Excepting whatever place the commenter-formerly-known-as-Negropolis lives. If you go there by helecopter and never stray from TCFKAN's protection.]

          2. Fare la Volpe

            Ha, I had a friend who offered me a place in Detroit and I politely declined — gun shot wounds clash with my hair color. Fortunately a few months later he packed up and moved to Ferndale and then Ann Arbor and offered me a place in his new house now that his roomie is moving out. Now we just have to wait three months until his co-tenant skedaddles so I can swoop in and claim it.

          3. Fare la Volpe

            Ann Arbor — details on neighborhood still forthcoming. Originally I was trucking up to Ferndale, but Ann Arbor sounds more like the city feel I love.

      1. NewtsChicknNeck

        you'd have a hard time proving anything she's ever said. she's the world's worst deposition transcript. you (I) can't train clients to be that stupid.

  27. Wonderthing

    Hey come on. Even mean spirited, bigoted, privileged, anal retentive, fact ignoring, education hating, class unconscious, people have to have a voice. She am it for that.

  28. SoBeach

    Obama is bringing back slavery? Crap. And we can't even fight back since we let him confiscate all our guns. Maybe the new Muslim god Obama is making us all pray to will help us.

  29. BTWBFDIMHO

    Why is she trying to make Obama more attractive to Republicans? Mitt won't like that, bitch.

  30. Biff

    "those days when we were in different classes based on income, based on color of skin"
    Uh, I'm old enough to remember when we were not only in different classes, but actually different schools entirely.

    I know, that's not what she meant, blah blah blah, but really, what DID she mean?

    1. ChessieNefercat

      She meant SKREORTCH! Sometimes she goes on for a longer period of time (SKREEEEORTCH). And that is what she means each time. Skreortch. And if you can make sense out of that, you can make sense out of Palin, and if that happens, you should probably get help.

  31. CountryClubJihadi

    I believe John Brown would have referred to our Harriet Flubman as a "Brain Abolitionist".

  32. Chet Kincaid

    Allow me to clean this up a little, I have good reading comprehension of Moron, even though I am not a native speaker. Sarah heard someone much smarter than her critique liberals and their affirmative action by saying that programs and actions intended to redress historic inequities actually perpetuate those inequities. That's because they require us to still differentiate between people in order to "hand out the goodies", instead of pretending that racism and inequality never happened and then expecting everyone to succeed or fail by merit, starting right now.

    Of course, if this was a meritocracy, Sarah would never be seen or heard as a public figure again, so thank God some people can still succeed in life by giving Idiot Conservative Men a boner!

  33. C_R_Eature

    Alright. I tried to read that, but it hurt so much I had to stop. Then, I tried to watch the video but that horrible screeching voice saying those nonsense words made me stop the player in fear that she might actually be conjuring some horrible Demon that would eat everyone.
    I just can't handle that woman. Not at all.

  34. chascates

    But you'd think Palin would love being the Antebellum Belle of the Planters! Planting the ideas of hate and the seeds of distortion, she'd sashay through the ballroom fluttering her eyes and drawl 'you betcha' to the delight of the entirely white crowd.
    Her ideas of equal opportunity don't include people who share different ideas about the role of government, God, and gays in America that she does. She certainly has one thing in common with the post-Civil War era though. She is nothing but a carpetbagger!

  35. VinnyThePooh

    In four years Sarah went from
    Drill, Baby, Drill!
    to
    You have equal opportunity to work hard and to succeed and to embrace the opportunities, god-given opportunities to develop resources, to work extremely hard.
    Equal opportunity to work hard. Extremely hard.

    Also, I never knew Hebrew National was a bike gang.

    1. Biff

      Even "drill baby, drill" was plagiarized from Michael Steele. Beyond her intellect to come up with it on her own, I suspect.

  36. An_Outhouse

    "it has taken all these years for many Americans to understand that gravity" …

    That gravity what? I think this is mostly a problem for home schoolers.

  37. chascates

    And for more background: http://www.regnery.com/books/pigcivilwar.html

    He [author] also explains why the Southern states had more in common with our Founding Fathers and the spirit of the Declaration of Independence than most history textbooks admit.
    How, if there had been no Civil War, the South would have abolished slavery peaceably
    Why leading Northern generals—like McClellan and Sherman—hated abolitionists
    How the Confederate States of America might have helped the Allies win World War I sooner
    How bombing people "back to the Stone Age" got its start with the Federal siege of Vicksburg
    Why General James Longstreet fought the Battle of Sharpsburg in his carpet slippers
    The Politically Incorrect GuideTM to the Civil War is a joyful, myth-busting, rebel yell that shatters today's Leftist and demeaning stereotypes about the South and the Civil War—showing why, in G. K. Chesterton's words, "America and the whole world is crying out for the spirit of the Old South." Civil War buffs, Southern partisans, and everyone who is tired of liberal self-hatred that vilifies America's greatest heroes—must have this book on their bookshelf.

    1. MadBrahms

      Liberal self-hatred? So we are all ashamed to be confederates?

      Never use Palin's editor.

    2. Fare la Volpe

      Jesus fuck what a punchable bastard. I'm never in favor of burning books, but I would not mind leaving an entire stinking crate of that tripe to rot on a dirt road. In Syria.

  38. 40 or 50 % McShineys

    You know, if she said she exclusively read "e e cummings," instead of answering "All Of Them, Katie" she could have opened up a serious new performance art grift front for herself.

  39. Troglodeity

    With spokespeople like Palin, I just don't understand why the GOP isn't rocking the African-American vote.

  40. HelmutNewton

    With her constant barrage of verbal diarrhea, Palin must have to stick close to a bathroom.

  41. ttommyunger

    Does she not know that this shit is being recorded? How can she not know she sounds like the airhead kunt she is? And Insanity? Don't get me started about that big dumb kunt. He is actually a bigger kunt than Palin and she is Horse-Collar Variety kunt. Why is my spell-check going nutz?

    1. Fare la Volpe

      I really think Sarah was that bitchy hot chick in high school that could say whatever dumb thing she wanted and boys would still laugh and buy her presents. She hasn't yet figured out that the real world is not the same as junior prom queen elections.

      1. ttommyunger

        Sadly, her (mostly) male supporters are stuck well within that adolescent mind-set and mentality.

  42. reasonbran

    Wait, wait, I think I get it! Obama acknowledges the reality of class and financial inequality. Sarah is aware that before the Civil War, there was class inequality. There was a special word for it. It'll come to me in a moment. Yeah, that's it, slavery! It was mentioned in a book she read in school once. This establishes an incontrovertible parallelism, well a sort of converging parallelism really, between Obama's awareness of class issues and pre-Civil War slavery and such. Since A now equals B and Obama wants A, well then he must want B too. Which makes him like, uh, into slavery.

    Ow. Brain hurts. Must drink tequila.

    1. FROTHY

      Oh, so you're struggling with the delusion that Parasailin' actually understands concepts like "parallelism"? Here, have a cool glass of water and a crate of Advils. They'll help with that blistering headache.

      1. reasonbran

        Naw, she doesn't need to. We're talking serpentine, subterranean pseudo-logic here. Imagine a snake-path in the grass. That's Sarah Palin's brain. Pre-logical and possibly pre-stupid.

  43. ChessieNefercat

    Palin. Sarah. Yes, you, twatwaffle. You are getting angrier and angrier and looking more and more haggard and bitter with every passing day.

    You must accept it. I know it is eating away at you like the monster drool in Alien, but seriously, President Obama is not ever going to think of you for even a nanosecond.

    You are not ever going to wink and shimmy your way into his manly arms. You are never, ever, ever, going to be able to elbow Michelle aside as you gloat that Bamz is yours.

    You see, our excellent, brilliant, and yes, studly, President has the lovely, brilliant, kind, loving, gorgeous Michelle to fall into bed with night after night after glorious night.

    An embittered, vicious, rapidly aging, breathtakingly stupid hag whose raging narcissism is stunningly out of touch with reality, simply isn't of any interest to the President.

    And Sarah, I think you know it. The barely contained simmering rage thinly layered over your unrequited lust* is becoming just too, too tackily obvious, dear. Really. Take a break. Ratchet down the rage, honey. At some point even Hannity may notice that you are becoming more than a little unhinged.

    *By lust, I mean the lady grasshopper biting the head off her hapless mate at the crucial moment.

    1. FROTHY

      Also, too, the fact that Toad has been banging that Shailey female (who, frankly, looks like a rather unsexay lump of dough, and I mean that in the BEST fucking way) forEVAH while she wuz tootling on to the whole planet about what a studly lump of man-meat he was has GOTTA be fuckin' killing her, and I mean that in a totally loving, caring, nonviolent sort of way. Her husband doesn't want her, her kids don't listen to her, her husband's business partner (whom she was banging, until he came to his senses and returned to his screech-deficient wife) doesn't want her, and she's reduced to giving freebie speeches to empty halls in Bumwad, FL and Arsewipe, CO. This is her last desperate grab at relevance. The only way out for her from here on is straight down the fucking tubes to oblivion. It hurts, and it shows. Good.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      Gravity was a mistake that happened before the Civil War. And then the Civil War had to really start changing America so now we don't have that gravity mistake any more? But Obama wants to take us back to the days when we had the gravity mistake?

      Roast in hell, John McCain (after a long and happy life filled with joy, blah, blah, blah, of course).

      1. FROTHY

        As an atheist, I regret that I cannot consign that malignant miserable motherfucker to a so-richly deserved eternal torment. Therefore I console myself with the knowledge that he is bitter, unloved, and irrelevant, and that must be eating at him in a way that is a thousand times worse than his cancer ever was. He will not be mourned by anyone except his children (and he deserves their love and solicitude, despite his faults). Certainly not by the wife he has treated so badly. Nor by the nation he has done so much to destroy.

  44. jolpaj

    Mitt Romney has never hugged a critical race theorist! He may or may not have hugged anybody, but if he has, that person has never published an article arguing that the uplifting rhetoric of equality and integration should not be allowed to distract us from persistent material inequality.

    .

  45. stncmchnc

    Ewwww! What's that? Oh its the Honey Grifter. The Honey Grifter don't care, the Honey Grifter don't give a xhit. My sincere apologies to Randall.

  46. GOPCrusher

    There was a sign at a Tea Bagger rally in 2009 that expressly said the Obama's Plan was White Slavery.
    But there was nothing racist about it.

  47. James Michael Curley

    Watching that clip last night I had the image that one day she is on the TV and all that plastic surgery goes crashing down like a hundred year old Brooklyn townhouse facade only it takes out several blocks while doing so.

  48. NewtsChicknNeck

    Ms. Palin will be the first to tell you not all men are created equal. See, e.g. Rice, Glen.

  49. DahBoner

    It's sad, really that all Obama wants to do now is sit around and play banjo music all day…

  50. W88

    Poor Sarah.
    She has not been right in the head ever since Glen Rice put his black love stick deep into her and gave her brain damage.

  51. Come here a minute

    In Sarah's world, "develop resources" means oil drilling, so clearly, when she sees a black man all she can think of is "Drill Babby Drill".

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