The Democratic primary result in Ohio’s 2nd District this week presents us with another fine case study in how the federal campaign finance code, post-Citizens United, is now just a scribbled one-line note reading “just do whatver who cares haw haw.” The winner was William R. Smith, who narrowly defeated a candidate, David Krikorian, who’d run twice before. The thing about Smith: no one knows who he is or has ever seen him, and he didn’t spent any time or money campaigning. Sounds like we’ve got another Alvin Greene to play with, people. Except Smith has a SuperPAC, about which there is no public information, spending all the money and campaigning for him! Isn’t that so charitable of them? It’s like one of those many hundred neo-feudalistic reality shows nowadays where the rich people throw a few bucks at one poor family and declare themselves heroes, but with more democracy-destruction and no heroes.
Smith is apparently a 61-year-old trucker who refused to interact with the media in any way during his non-campaign, clearing the way for some unregistered SuperPAC to make up stories on his behalf and trick stupid people into voting for him, the only remaining path to success in American politics. From Cincinnati.com:
Smith spent no money on the race, nor did he appear to do any real campaigning. But someone weighed in on his behalf—a group calling itself the “Victory Ohio Super PAC.”
That group—which has not registered with the Federal Elections Commission—apparently made “robo-calls” to some voters in the districts touting Smith as the “real Democrat” in the race.
In the call, which does not mention Krikorian by name, a woman’s voice says this:
“William Smith has an opponent that describes himself as a Reagan conservative. William Smith’s opponent was already sanctioned by the Ohio Elections Commission for not telling the truth. Please don’t make a mistake and embarrass the party. Vote for William Smith, the real Democrat for Congress. This has been paid for by the Victory Ohio Super PAC.”
Your Wonkette is going to dig into this a little bit, do a lil’ journalism, instead of just speculating on the circumstantial evidence, so give us a moment here. [Watches cat videos for 30 seconds]. We have determined this is obviously Republicans fucking with a Democratic primary.