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Is that you, Phyllis Schlafly? It is International Women’s Day! Oh women, do they really need another whole day about themselves when there is already Valentine’s Day? No matter, GOP Wisconsin state Senator Glenn Grothman, the legislator who recently brought us a bill to declare single parents a pack of child abusers, would like to contribute something on this occasion, seeing as how Grothman is a leading expert on how women think. Just check out this little bit of cutting insight he just let fly in an interview, the big show-off: “I think a lot of women are adopting the single motherhood lifestyle because the government creates a situation in which it is almost preferred.” BAM. Grothman is so much of an expert on women that he is basically an honorary woman, a really awesome woman, a superwoman, or a bunch of women added together, a man, even. What else can you tell us about women, Grothman? Are they perhaps psychopaths who lie pathologically, all of them, about accidental pregnancy as part of a sinister plot to convince society that women weren’t just trying to get pregnant that whole time, sweartogod?

Grothman’s interview with Alan Colmes is full of gems like, “I think the first thing we do is that we should educate women that [single parenthood] is a mistake,” but here really is the diamond among them:

Colmes: According to data published in USA Today, at least four in ten pregnancies in every state are unwanted or mistimed….They’re unintended pregnancies, which is the argument for health care services and birth control for women.

Grothman: I think you undersell these women.

Colmes: Undersell them?

Grothman: Undersell them. I think when you have an epidemic of this great proportion, people are not so dumb that it’s surprising when they get pregnant. I think people are trained to say that ‘this is a surprise to me,’ because there’s still enough of a stigma that they’re supposed to say this.

Sweet, sweet welfare lifestyle. Who wouldn’t lie her way into that? [Right Wing Watch]

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  • Barb

    Why blame the women? We aren't getting pregnant without some help from men, ya know.

    • No one told you to carry them to term.

      • wolvenwood13

        No, they didn't. But all those in Congress have made it extremely difficult and humiliating and almost impossible to get an abortion.

        • HistoriCat

          This wouldn't be a problem if they just agreed to buttsechs.

          • Dirt_Dog

            Please, this is Wonkette. I am a Wonkette fundamentalist, believing (with no evidence or possibility of argument) that Original Wonkette Emeritrix, Ms AMC was a Prophet whose words cannot be countersaid. Therefore, what you are talking about is ASS-FUCKING and any attempt to refer to the act of ass fucking in any other way is sacreligious and disrespectful to the multimillieneal (eight year old) tradition of the holy roman mid-atlantic Wonkette church.

        • Um, that was kind of my point, snarkily.

    • "Bullshit"

      Joseph Step "dad" of Jeebus.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Hey now, it's not like a dick can just slap itself away.

      • Beowoof

        Something tells me that Glenn slapping his own dick is the only way someone will touch it.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Hey, I'm perfectly happy to take the pill, but the government won't cover it for me.

    • Beowoof

      Sounds as if you are talking about that pagan science stuff again. Begone heathen.

    • freddymcmurray

      Nuh uh. Rush taught me that feminazi lezbos are cooking up man juice in laboratories. And definitely no man needed for the sex act. Hell, you don't even have to use your own uterus! the more you know…

  • nounverb911

    ‘Single Parents Are Kid Abusers’
    I know I've asked this before, but does this mean that kids with two parents double their chances of being abused?

    • Pretty much.

    • Worked that way in my house. Mom would beat the tar out of us, then shout those immortal words, "Wait til your father gets home!"

      He'd get home, hear her story, then turn to me and say "Go get me my belt," to which I'd usually reply, "Why? You that drunk you're seeing double again?" and then he'd just slap me silly, which meant to beat me, he had to hurt his hand, too.

  • Mahousu

    I think people are trained to say that ‘this is a surprise to me,’ because there’s still enough of a stigma that they’re supposed to say this.

    Grothman was clearly a surprise to his mother. Also, a stigma.

    • To his great embarassment, Grothman was born naked in bed with a woman.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      His father's wedding proposal was, "You're WHAT??

    • Loaded_Pants

      Smegma, stigma. Eh. They sound alike.

    • billy_reuben

      A surprise? For certain. But who knew buttsex could lead to pregnancy? (Well… of a sort.)

  • tihond

    Grothman is a member of the old never married wing of the Wisconsin GOP along with David Prosser.

    • emmelemm

      Wait, what?

      So you're saying he's a "confirmed bachelor"?

      • littlebigdaddy

        Paul Lynde territory?

        • Loaded_Pants

          What is a pullet?

          A little show of affection.

        • Beowoof

          Lynde!Libel!

      • A Friend Of Dorothy?

    • Rotundo_

      His knowledge about womenfolk and reproduction sounds second-hand and somewhat suspect. His mom perhaps? He seems to have the same knack for relating to women that Judge Dave has.

  • Crank_Tango

    Bitches be crazy, also.

    • Nothingisamiss

      Now, now, Crank Tango. Our new overlords may not like snark that uses a gender-biased term like that. Also, too, new rulz seem lame.

  • The only thing he knows about women is that it costs extra to kiss them.

  • nounverb911

    Was Grothman an altar boy?

  • This is the GOP's outreach-to-women-voters in an election year.

    This is it.

    • Are you incinerating that there is something wrong with this? Wut?

      Srsly, are you saying that those sluts and prostitutes will actually withhold their vote from these god-fearing white men because, wut, they're just being DIFFICULT BITCHES? Damn, those whores are just fucking awful, aren't they? Treating those fine upstanding men so bad?

  • Single parents are child abusers?

    When did they allow Catholic priests to adopt?

  • "I have here in my hand a list of two hundred and five people that were known to the Wisconsin Secretary of State as being full-fledged, vagina-bearing women, and who nevertheless are still working and shaping the policies of this state!!"

    • At long last, sir, have you no penis…er, shame, I mean have you no shame?

      • No, I think you were right the first time…

    • And not a single one of them will willingly fuck him… ever.

  • Grothman is so much of an expert on women that he is basically an honorary woman

    He even has a time of the month. Except it's bloody diarrhea, and it comes out of his mouth.
    ~

  • FakaktaSouth

    Did he just blame women for the fact that there are some terrible fathers out there? That is IMPRESSIVE sexism right there. Well done, dude.

  • memzilla

    Plus, look at all the unwed single mothers from Tennessee and Mississippi taking those long vacations at St. Tropez and Monte Carlo. You'd think they felt that they were entitled to quality health care just so they could do that.

  • SorosBot

    Oh yeah, all the women I know are just clamoring to be a single mother. It's just bliss, raising that screaming hungry thing all on your own! It's why I always use condoms, 'cause you never know when a woman who says she's on the pill is really just trying to get knocked up.

    • It's just bliss, raising that screaming hungry thing all on your own!

      Your penis does that too?

      *whew* Thought it was just me…

      • widestanceromance

        If screaming lasts more than 4 hours, . . .

        • Dashboard Buddha

          …see your voice coach.

    • Of course teh wimminz are trying to get pregnant all the time. It's so they can get abortions, silly.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Oh that's it. Lack of health care doesn't contribute to unintended pregnancies; it's all an evil, evil, sinister plot by women to eek out a barely livable standard of existence whilst enduring lack of sleep, full diaper pails and the complete loss of a social life.

    Grothman, you know us soooo well. You truly could be one of us.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      "You truly could be one of us." He's got to take the first step, however, and first become human. For Growth Man that's a big step. Right now he's just a growth.

    • swordfis

      Only in the sense that he has no balls.

  • Grothman is so much of an expert on women that he is basically an honorary woman

    Kirsten? I can understand how you might make that mistake but those are moobs…

  • neiltheblaze

    Hmmmm…..no mention of a single deadbeat dad in that screed. Very interesting.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      'Cause it's not ever the man's fault: Snake–Apple–Eve. These crotch crickets don't know a thing about humanity but they have their favorite bible parts all red lined and underscored.

  • cheetojeebus

    See, if this…

    and by his logi…..

    i think wha…..

    fuck it.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Hey, Wonketteriat! I guess now is as good a time as any to announce that Mr. AnnieGetYerFun and myself are expecting! It was an intended pregnancy, and we're still in the incredibly early phases (really more of a zygote than a fetus, but I can't watch those "how big is your bab now?" online videos because, fuck, fetuses are ugly and creepy). Of course, there's still the possibility that the little parasite might decide to self-abort, especially if it catches wind of a Republican presidential debate or something.

    Should Ziggy the Zygote make it all the way to full term, the Mister and I intend to make sure that our child receives as much abuse as a child coming from a single-parent home.

    • Was a transvaginal sonogram involved?

      No?

      How about a turkey baster?

      • anniegetyerfun

        Ultrasound. No, we did it the old fashioned way (humping).

        • I say that because we liberal men have learned not to expect sex from our flannel-wearing lesbian wymyn…at least none that involves a happy ending for us.

          Please congratulate Mr Fun on achieving a successful orgasm and tell him that at least one impotent worker drone has respect for him

          Oh…and congratulations to you too. Girl or fellow impotent liberal drone?

          • anniegetyerfun

            All of them, Katie.

          • You're looking for sex from lesbians and find it extraordinary for a man to have an orgasm?? Dude, you're totally doing it the wrong way.

          • I'm a liberal. If I want sex, I find a Republican. I would never demean my liberal wymyn friends that way.

            Unless they insist. No means no, after all, but I take it one step further: not saying yes means no.

            Republican chicks always say yes.

        • widestanceromance

          that sounds unsanitary

        • Dashboard Buddha

          The old ways are the best. Congratulations.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Oh honey, now is the perfect time for you to divorce Mr. AGYF and cash in on that sweet, sweet, filthy gubmint lucre. It's what Grothman would want, dontchaknow?

      • anniegetyerfun

        You're so right! Having to pay for childcare at paltry wages sounds super appealing – how is it that all women don't do that?

    • Callyson

      Aw, congrats! Best of luck to the whole family.

    • orygoon

      Are there ads from the Abortion Emporium on your 'netfeed yet? (Seriously, CONGRATULATIONS!)

      • anniegetyerfun

        Just ads for cocoa butter! Can drinking cocoa butter cause an abortion?

        • orygoon

          If it were that easy, this whole abortion brouhaha would be nonexistent. So, hey, is this an Heir- or Spare-type zygote? And also, I have some slightly dated, but good condition onesies and sleepers in the attic. Maybe if I find someone to hand them off to, my own Heir will suddenly make An Important Announcement.

        • ChessieNefercat

          "Just ads for cocoa butter!"

          A tip? They're lies.

          • anniegetyerfun

            So, not as effective as the “weird old tip” that gets rid of body fat?

          • Is that the same as the "weird old tip" that got you preggers?

        • Swampgas_Man

          I hear you're supposed to rub the butter on your body, preferably in public, while yodeling. It avoids stretching, or something.

          • No, you're supposed to have the All Spice Man rub it on you while HE is yodeling.

          • Nothingisamiss

            Can I have this done to me if I think I pretend to have a stretchmark? Please?

          • I like to think the All Spice Man is non-discriminatory.If you think you have a stretch mark, then you have a stretch mark.

    • Congrats to all

    • FakaktaSouth

      Mazel Tov! Just remember to save the real good beatins' for public consumption – I love when somebody's kid is being an asshole and getting yelled at (esp when my three are at home.) Makes going out alone even funner.

    • widestanceromance

      snark off: Serious congrats, annie!

      snark on: Have you picked out a screen name for the lil tyke (and what color Cadillac also)?

      • anniegetyerfun

        Gosh, the pressure to come up with a good alias! Something Palin-related would make me happy.

        • widestanceromance

          Begin with the letter, 'T,' then just grab some tiles from a Scrabble game.

          • anniegetyerfun

            “Tittyfuck Palin” it is! Incidentally, that's pretty close to the actual name I had picked out for the little tyke anyway.

          • No matter what, Hussein has to be the middle name. As in TittyfuckPalin Hussein Fun. Don't forget! Best wishes!!

        • C_R_Eature

          Well, I just tried to get "Tr_glet" (as in a combination of a famous recent Vice Presidential candidate's youngest Ideological prop/weapon + "Piglet") through the Censors but no dice. A shame, because I like the way it looks in print.

          Anyway, if this one manages to get through, Congratulations and I'm wishing you all the best.

          • anniegetyerfun

            Thank you! I'm hoping that this one can hang in there. Never had one before, so not sure how they are supposed to work, other than that I can apparently put them to work cleaning bathrooms at a public school straight away? For freedom?

          • C_R_Eature

            There's also Sneaker factories and I'll bet that by the time yours is big enough to hold a screwdriver we'll have shamed Apple into bringing the iPad sweatshopAdvanced Assembly Facility back to Our Shores. Jobs for Kids! Profit!

            In all seriousness, best of luck! Smart People should have children, too.

          • And don't for get to pepper spray it (for the vegetables) !

    • neiltheblaze

      Congratulations! May you hit the lottery for millions of dollars so you can afford to send the little bundle of joy to college someday!

      • anniegetyerfun

        College? What a snob!

    • sati_demise

      expecting some wacky posts during this hormone carney ride. fasten your seat belt!

      • anniegetyerfun

        SHUT UP YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

        • There, there, AGYF. There, there…

          *rushes out for ice cream and pickles.

          • anniegetyerfun

            Christ, that's what I eat on a normal day. I'm sort of terrified to see what I will want when cravings really kick in. Ham and coffee-grounds sandwich?

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Very cool…and timely. I happen to be writing a children's book. Skullfucker and the Cognitively Bogged Little Boy. It's sort of buddy/roadtrip kind of thingy.

      • anniegetyerfun

        I would seriously buy the first fifty copies if you published such a thing.

        • Dashboard Buddha

          Can't find a publisher…although Larry Flynt has expressed an interest. I'm going to turn him down though. I don't think he will hold true to my artistic vision.—

          • Don't tell me. The title character is named Lil Jimmy O'Keefe.

          • Dashboard Buddha

            Close…O'Queef.—

          • Pfft. Just form a super PAC, and have 'em buy 100,000 copies.

    • Boojum_Reborn

      Congratulations to you and the other liberal spawners. You must now turn in your gummint "one child" coupons, to get the free cheese and high fructose corn syrup.

      • Nothingisamiss

        How soon can the little tyke get his hoverround?

    • ThundercatHo

      Congratulations, Annie. Ziggy is a very lucky zygote. Get all the sleep you can.

      • Doktor Zoom

        I like your preggername. We called the future Kid Zoom a couple of different things; first, "the peanut," and then for most of the rest of the pregnancy, "Cletus the Fetus (hope you're glad to meet us)."

    • ChessieNefercat

      And thank you for this lovely announcement on what is surely one of the head-banging posts I've seen lately. A little bastion of joy and sanity.

    • fartknocker

      God damn this is the funniest thing I've read recently. Also, don't go to Oklahoma with Ziggy cause you could be a felon because of the all sperm that died.

    • Nothingisamiss

      Well played! Announcement just in time to blunt snark! Mazel tov!

    • Congratulations! "Designer_Rants" makes a great name (with or without the underscore).

    • Beowoof

      Congratulations.

      And if you need some help on abuse techniques you can watch the first half of Full Metal Jacket. Guaranteed to make your child feel abused for a lifetime. I can vouch this method works as my Dad did it for me.

    • comrad_darkness

      Congrats! Your sacrifice is appreciated!

    • dubyatf

      Annie-(and all the rest of the you evil genius Wonketteriat, you who have kept me thoroughly entertained, enthralled, and in awe, pretty much concomitantly): Long time lurker here. I'm finally moved to throw in my .02-first, because I was a single mother for nearly 16 years, raising 3 kids by my own self, thereby living the Large Life, natch. How fondly I remember those days of leisure and wanton excess. After paying for day care for the children that, incidentally, were all born within the hallowed space of my marriage to a man that I eventually, ineluctably had to leave because everything we owned was going up his nose (and of course, he emerged smelling like the proverbial rose-a rose marinated in cinnamon schnapps and Svedka) there was usually enough money left to pay the mortgage, either the phone or the electric or the water bill (but certainly not all of them in a single billing cycle-that sort of obscene wealth always *just* eluded me), and to stock up on the queen pillow-sized bags of Malt-o-Meal cereals upon which we primarily subsisted. If I suspected Grothman of having two brain cells to rub together and spark a thought I might be tempted to conclude that our Malt-o-Meal dependency is an example of what he means by "abuse"-but I'll take a gamble here and say that he's incapable of that sort of subtle derivation, not to mention completely ignorant of the very existence of generic breakfast cereal. But I digress (again). My accounting methodology, in those halcyon days, was based on the "Robbing Peter to Pay Paul" principle. This extravagant and much-sought after lifestyle is the reason that I am, today, able to vacation in the splendor of my back yard. And I can do this almost every year!

      • anniegetyerfun

        Thank you for coming out of lurking (sreiously). It's tales that these that are important to hear about – knowing that we, too, can live the dream of a selfish single parent, in all of the abusive glory!

      • Doktor Zoom

        Welcome to the Monkey House! Don't hide your snark under a bushel, as it were.

    • dubyatf

      I really felt the need to assert that, among the numerous misnomers (or as my parents were so quaintly wont to label them: "boners") that dribbled out when Grothman opened his facial sphincter was the one about how single parents abuse their children. To this I say "Pshaw, and pish tosh, you childless bag of ass." Omg! If ANYONE was abused during my tenure as a single parent, it was *me*. Seriously-I had three teenagers (I just shuddered violently and involuntarily as I typed that) living with me all at the same time!!! Aside from the very real trauma of dealing with the minute-by-minute repercussions of vivified pituitary glands, all three of my abusers were participating in sports/orchestra/ballet, etc. The incessant, monotonous but simultaneously tortuous car pooling was almost sufficient to break me. Or force me to consider remarrying (but there I go being redundant). Imagine, if you will, my surprise to learn, at the age of 41, that I had a little sin-a-bun in the oven! But only after repeated acts of ye olde Humping-outside-the-"Sanctity"-of-Marriage. . . which I also too quite enjoyed. (Btw, I can only conclude Santorum's views on teh sex have been forged by his utter inability to satisfy his incubator–what's her name again? Karen?–and her logical lack of enthusiasm for the act of man on beast. If that woman isn't a beast of burden, well, my name's Slutty McProstitute. So she's either constantly belittling him/claiming a headache or he's so closeted he has to tell himself his lack of libido is GOD'S PLAN.

      • anniegetyerfun

        OMG, but seriously, I'm glad you are here.

    • dubyatf

      But wait-one of the reasons I wanted to give you a shout out (besides telling you, as a perfect stranger, that I'm absolutely thrilled for and about your being with Zig. Pregnancy was my favorite thing. Ever. Except for one part. And I wanted to pass this along to you from my 'way high up empirical perch, to wit: cocoa butter? Uh, yeah. Total crape (spelling courtesy of my second ex-husband, which is just one of the zillionty four–or is it zillionty seven?–reasons he occupies that status). Perhaps this is common knowledge now, but in the 80s, when I was carrying my first Ziggy, I didn't have the sense to hold an aspirin between my knees, much less study an effective method for preventing the stretch marks from hell that cover me from neck to knees and resemble a 3-D road map. What you need must needs do is: drink a BUTT
      TON of water every single day, hydrating and thereby moisturizing from the inside out. Then, and only then (the caveat being that the smell of the cocoa butter doesn't make you dredge up the dinner from your Junior Prom night) slather away.
      Phew! I'm spent.
      Congratulations! May your red blood cells swiftly multiply and endow you with glowy goodness.
      Sorry for the onslaught. You may now return to your regularly scheduled bitch slapping.

      • anniegetyerfun

        The water thing dawned on me when I was about four weeks along. I was, all, "Wait, why is my pee burning a whole through me?"

        I've always been a thirsty girl, but now it's all water and not the stuff I used to hydrate with (gin).

        • Doktor Zoom

          A LOCAL MOM DISCOVERED THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK FOR AVOIDING STRETCHMARKS! CLICK HERE NOW!

    • fuflans

      ah chicka congrats. i am so happy for you guys.

      i wish you and yours no wingtards and many many flights of fancy

    • Annie enjoy Ziggy, avoid the transvag ultrasounds at all costs, I think it made one of mine mental (or maybe its adolescence) and ignore anything scary/crazy that peeps will want to lay on you. Hope you enjoy being fondled by strangers because between doctors, hospital staff and folks who think that touching the pregnant belly is good luck you are going to be mauled without the aid of the State of Virginia!

  • Grothman

    Gross man

    / fixed with a joke off the palate that the forklift just dropped-off

  • orygoon

    Does he know any single moms? I do. They are devoted to their kids, and they almost all had a man who they thought was going to be there to share the experience.

    Small sample size, yeah, but I'll bet 10K that it's bigger than Grothman's.

    • elviouslyqueer

      That's what she said.

  • Jerri

    Shit, ladies, he's on to us! Plan B! Plan B!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Wait. Doesn't RU-486 sort of defeat the purpose here?

      • Jerri

        Damn it!

        Abort! Abort!

        Aw, hell.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Well played. [*slow clap*]

        • Very, very good.

  • Callyson

    Grothman told Colmes that the country’s out-of-wedlock birth rate is the “choice of the women,” who should be “educated that this is a mistake.”
    vs.
    "I think when you have an epidemic of this great proportion, people are not so dumb that it’s surprising when they get pregnant."
    Self – contradictory much?
    Moran.
    Also–RIP to my loving, single mom.

    • Boojum_Reborn

      The men, however, should be told it is not their fault the bitch was a slut.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    What does it mean that a wig is photo-shopped on him?

    • ChessieNefercat

      No matter how he tries to disguise himself, the assholery shines through.

    • Loaded_Pants

      That's not photo-shop. One of Rupaul's old wigs was blown into Wisconsin & Grothman simply couldn't resist.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      That's the way his single mother loves him.

  • owhatever

    Grothman figured that if four out of ten women in his district are having out of wedlock babies, then the remaining seven of those ten, or thirty percent, will still be eligible to vote for him because the single ones will be in France, eating gooey tortillas and lounging topless on the sands of Paris while Obama watches the kids. Also.

    • neiltheblaze

      I see you're adept at Republican math. It's an important interpretive skill.

    • Beowoof

      I see you are also adapt at Fox News geography. I know the sands of Paris are on the beautiful beaches of the Riviera.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Glenn Grothman's got proof that single motherhood is a bad choice — if those children buried in his crawlspace had had two parents looking out for them, they'd still be walking around today.

    Allegedly.

  • OneYieldRegular

    This guy really hasn't read his New Testament, has he.

    • Beowoof

      Reading? Rightwing teabagger type? Seriously lol.

  • lochnessmonster

    They are getting pregnant b/c the men's are taking the free Viagras and not using the litle raincoats don't CHA thnk? Oh, I forgot, GOP don't need no stinking sex education!

    • Boojum_Reborn

      Is that what Rmoney meant?

    • Beowoof

      Rush said the raincoats fail 20% of the time and I know Rush would never make anything up to suit his meme of the day.

  • chascates

    I think he oversells marriage.

  • orygoon

    I happen to know that you can get black onesies at a certain hip-hop store in Minneapolis. (I thought that was the best thing about that shop, to tell the lame-o truth.)

  • north_of_moscow

    Semen here! Step right up and get your semen! Guaranteed to knock you up! Live the life of leisure as a single mom! Line forms to the right!

    • Let's Luntz it up a little bit. Instead of "semen", how 'bout "Baby Batter"? Women love babbys and batter.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Hey, it's bros before hos, amirite?

  • onemoretime79

    Grothman; earlier on the evolutional scale than Mothman, Obviously. G being before M. Therefore, I'd rather listen to mothman than to him.

    Can I just say in general, without undo penalty and with regard to race, creed, color or religion; fuck that viewpoint?

    Because I think I just did. Now, will someone please send the guy in the curly wig the memo? Please.

  • mavenmaven

    He's also this: He is a co-sponsor of Senate Bill 19 (2011), which removes the requirement of mandatory disinfection of groundwater in municipal water systems, a requirement that was imposed in reaction to a Cryptosporidium outbreak in 1993, which killed at least 104 citizens of Milwaukee, and sickened thousands of others.
    and there's even a website: http://glenn-grothman-watch.blogspot.com/

    • Rotundo_

      But Glenn is from West Bend, *nobody* in the Wisconsin GOP cares about Milwaukee's water quality (allegedly). If people get projectile bloody diarrhea from drinking tap water perhaps they should buy bottled water instead, use market solutions! If that coal plant has too much particulate polution, buy air! The invisible hand of the market always has a solution.

      • Beowoof

        Why do I always feel like the invisible hand of the market is slapping the shit out of me.

    • comrad_darkness

      Ah, you are saying he is pro life?

      • mavenmaven

        Pro-microbial life, apparently, human life not so much.

  • Antispandex

    I once suggested to Mrs. Antispandex that we were getting a little too preggers, a little too often. She suggested we were fucking too much….we were forced to a compromise. Mr. Grothman, if the picture of him is a fair representation, has never been in my predicament.

    • onemoretime79

      lmao.

    • "Compromise" = Mrs. Antispandex convinces Mr. Antispandex to get snipped?

  • ChessieNefercat

    I found that a bowl spaghetti can look like a mighty inviting pillow.

    • anniegetyerfun

      So soft… so starchy… so Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzsnargle.

  • Once again, the Party of Limbaugh has confused trolling with legislating.

  • Swampgas_Man

    Since he doesn't mention fathers anywhere in there, it's clear that there's a Plague of Parthenogenesis in Wisconson.

  • Troglodeity

    Ditch the tie, Linda Tripp.

  • Doktor Zoom

    "I think you undersell these women."

    I bet there's a potentially vast market for short-selling women. Not to mention women-based derivatives, and AAA-rated mezzanine women tranches.

    • HistoriCat

      Goldman-Sachs on line 2 for you Doktor!

      • comrad_darkness

        That would be Goldman-Nutsachs, in this case.

    • not that Dewey

      Throw in some credit default wife swaps, and I'm in!

  • SkinnyNerd

    Why do all these guys concerned with control over women's health always look so unhealthy?

  • ChessieNefercat

    Does that stupid &^&*^(*^&&% fucknozzle not realize that sometimes the single mom became a single mom to get the kids AWAY from abuse????

    As far as I have seen, the stupid studies out there that conclusively prove that kids in single-parent homes are screwed up never bother to establish whether the kid was screwed up because of what went on before the mom* took off and set up her little single-parent household.

    *I say mom because ol' Sen, Fuckwad seems to think all those evil single parents are moms. Fuckwad. Can we say fuckwad?

    • Rotundo_

      In Glenns case Fuckwad would probably be appropriate, I lean towards Fuckwit as it is more descriptive and narrows the focus to Glenns intellectual deficit. Most of the single moms I know wound up that way due to escaping abusive relationships or being left to their own devices. If Glenndo thinks it is some sort of fun and profitable way to bilk hardworking taxpayers out of their money, he should borrow a teething, diapered child for a few days with no support. Even with the window that "it'll be over in a day or so" open, I think the experience would be a transformative one for this aging bachelor.

  • ChessieNefercat

    Small sample size here, Sen. Numbnuts, but I know a single mom.
    Three kids17, 12, and 9 when the siren call of abject poverty and constant court hearings and lawyer bills beckoned (really, it sounded better than staying around for rage, alcoholism, PTSD, and what became homicidal paranoia).

    Oldest: went through real hard times, but came through and has a okay life.
    Middle kid was the favorite, felt obligated to stick up for and finally live with angerbear despite mom's and the court's anxiety and required counseling. Still screwed up to this day.
    Youngest kid spent most of her young life in a single-parent household and is a successful college graduate, now in graduate school with a very bright future.

    So fuck off, you bloated, ignorant, gasbag.

  • It IS a fact that food, no matter how it's prepared, tastes better if paid for with food stamps.

  • Redhead

    Shorter version: Women are dumb and I should educate them, but you're underselling them, they're really not that dumb you know.

  • zedbot

    Howsabout a chastity tube for boys until they marry? Or jail time for any dude who "doesn't like/want to use a condom but still wants to get busy? Or mandatory transscrotum castration for any man impregnates a woman against her will? No, didn't think so.

  • Guppy

    And that's why he denies women his "essence."

    • Beowoof

      Forcing him to regularly deposit it in santorum.

    • C_R_Eature

      Hey, Precious Bodily Fluids are a fucking valuable thing. You just don't give them away!

  • And I thought conversation around the dinner table at Thanksgiving could get a bit heated in my family. Must be a real blast the the AGYF house.

    And congratulations, of course.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    You aren't carrying a Republican because Republicans are bornded the way that all evil things are bornded–they burst through the chest 'midst slime and gore and growl and then slither away under a rock. If your wonderful new life is bornded the way the spermy things went in, he or she will be a good liberal Democrat for sure. Congratulations.

  • Well, we don't want Junior Fun to start off life in the midst of prejudice, so you're excused.

  • Nothingisamiss

    Well, according to Billy Graham's son, he will have "muzlin blood" in him no matters what. It's the way of science.

    Save the birth certificate.

    • anniegetyerfun

      It will be a slightly swarthy kid, that's for sure. Will make sure to get extra (forged) copies of the long form.

  • C_R_Eature

    Hey Grothman! Ever kissed a girl?

    Thought so.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Grothman would seduce the ladies by bringing them the finest Wisconsin cheeses and pewter goblets of Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat. He would regale her with the very best of vintage Bay City Rollers, from his personal collection. He would then speak to her of the illicit pleasures of the city of Sodom, Milwaukee. When she had melted into a pool of quivering ecstasy, Grothman would pleasure her, as he had many before her.

    • tessiee

      There will also be peas.

    • ChessieNefercat

      How did you hack into his computer and find his Kindle Single files that someday he will be brave enough to ah, upload, and publish, and become a world famous er, novelist (?) (can't think of the right word here)?

  • Skullfuggary

    Apparently, this bastard hasn't seen 16 & Pregnant. Yeah, single-motherhood is portrayed so glamorously, and subsidized so completely. Wimmenz are just lined up around the block waiting to get boinked by some random dude so they can live the posh, eltist lifestyle of a single mother.

    BTW, Kirsten, keep up the great work you are doing, here.

  • “I think the first thing we do is that we should educate women that [single parenthood] is a mistake…”

    So no plans on educating horny boys on keeping it in their pants, huh, Glenn?

    • ChessieNefercat

      No need. Men never think about sex unless wimminz tempt them into, you know, SEX.
      Right, guys?

  • ibwilliamsi

    Listen, Tub-o-Lard-Tard, women "adopt the single motherhood lifestyle" because rat bastard men walk out on their families. M-kay?

    • DahBoner

      And some of those women refused to have an abortion, and went ahead with it….

      • ibwilliamsi

        And?

  • HistGuy

    Countdown to the announcement about the child he fathered out of wedlock in….3….2….1

  • DahBoner

    Has Rush called the kids "sluts" yet and demanded to see the alledged child abuse on a cam, if Taxpayers have to pay for it?

  • ttommyunger

    Well, that pix effectively blows the cover off of our own kenlayisalive, don't it? Who knew?

  • DaR[edacted]

    Grothman went on to mumble, "I believe you have my stapler… it is a red Swingline."

  • hagajim

    “I think a lot of women are adopting the single motherhood lifestyle because the government creates a situation in which it is almost preferred.”

    Yeah – because having to try and work, pay the bills and raise a little kid that shits, gets sick and basically ruins your life for five years (minimum) is what everyone wants to do….stupid fucker just showed his stupidity.

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