BUNCH OF BACHMANNS  12:41 pm March 8, 2012

Georgia Lege Goes For Gold In Wingnut Olympics

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Picketing Banned in Georgia.Crossover Day! Crossover Day! A day when every possible batshit mean curbjob-the-welfare-Cadillac-Queens bill simply MUST get passed in order to avoid NOobAma’s death panels. What delights does Newtonia have in store for us, as it gets all slick and sweaty trying to catch up to your Floridas and Mississippis and good ol’ AZ’s? Let’s round them up and hoe them down! Piss-testing those on gubmint relief? Check. Banning union pickets in labor disputes (except for teachers and cops) — d/b/a your First Amendment right to assembly? But naturally. Letting the little Hitlers* of your neighborhood homeowners association ban yer dirty hippie solar panels? FUCK YEAH, COMMIE, GET OUT. Turning into hysterical ninnies about that other part of the First Amendment, religious liberty, as defined by the Founders’ Stated Intent of putting all the single ladiez under Sharia? What do you think?

That’s not even mentioning making sure state employees can’t abort their Precious Bundles, because duh, and outlawing assisted suicide, on which well-meaning people can disagree. So did the Georgia Lege pass anything good for Crossover Day? Hmmm, let’s check.

No. The End. [Rome News-Tribune]

*As described by beloved megachurchillian Whatshisname, the one Bammerz sucked up to, Rick Warren, him.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 110 comments }

Barb March 8, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Georgia Lege Goes For Gold In Wingnut Olympics
And like the dweeb he is he had it bronzed.

Lascauxcaveman March 8, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Mississippi: "Just wait til next year!"

HELisforHEL March 8, 2012 at 12:45 pm

So many states to avoid ever living in. Siigh.

MrFizzy March 8, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Many to choose from, and on some level it's getting more difficult, as formerly reasonable places seem to be shifting towards gun/abortion/drug/alcohol/education/immigrant madness.

Biff March 8, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Orange County CA has about 1/3 the population of Georgia in a very compact space, so if it's wingnuts you're after but don't want to travel far, it might just be for you!

LagunaB March 8, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Sadly, Orange County use to be orange groves. And the Santa Ana freeway stopped at Beach Blvd and it was sand dunes all the way to Huntington Beach. Laguna was just a artist colony.

Chillatte March 8, 2012 at 12:47 pm

For this post only, can we make an exception for a Special Olympics joke?

Fare la Volpe March 8, 2012 at 12:50 pm

People in the Special Olympics love everybody and want nothing but hugs and a cookie. They are much better human beings than Georgia conservatives.

Lascauxcaveman March 8, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Most of them are better looking than your average GA legislator, too.

pdiddycornchips March 8, 2012 at 12:56 pm

That bar is not raised very high. If we replaced the Georgia Republican caucus with the cast of Jersey Shore, the level of intelligent debate would skyrocket.

el_donaldo March 8, 2012 at 1:09 pm

The average IQ in both Georgia and New Jersey would go up!

LagunaB March 8, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I live in south Jersey and that is so true.

Chillatte March 8, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Boy, do I feel like an asshole now. Have you and Rebecca teamed up or what?

MrFizzy March 8, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Plus they are more likely to vote for someone or something based on an approximation of reality, whereas most Georgia conservatives lack anything approaching that state of mind.

Steverino247 March 8, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Hugs and a cookie sounds pretty damned good to me. Where do I sign up?

HistoriCat March 8, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Didn't we already cover hugs in the last post? I assume that the cookies will be here once some people – and you know who you are – stop mouthing off and start following the rules.

Crank_Tango March 8, 2012 at 1:09 pm

That's not at all true!!!! Georgia conservatives are not human beings.

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 8, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Olympics libel!!!1!

MrFizzy March 8, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Duh

StarsUponThars March 8, 2012 at 12:47 pm

hey, when you're pitching in the World Series of Nutjob Crazy, you gotta bring your A-game.

Fare la Volpe March 8, 2012 at 12:49 pm

You think you're so special with your elitist "alphabet."

MrFizzy March 8, 2012 at 1:06 pm

That's what happens when snobs go to college.

Spurning Beer March 8, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Give me the traditionalist blue-collar alphabet:

fuckin' A, fuckin' B, fuckin' C….

Lucidamente1 March 8, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Bonus Crossover points: today is International Women's Day and Purim.

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 8, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Get a job, commie!

memzilla March 8, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Time to post your Yazyk & Borscht Hamentashen recipe — for the people!

Spurning Beer March 8, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Take your government hands off my hamentashen!

HogeyeGrex March 8, 2012 at 1:57 pm

So I should do a foreign broad today?

memzilla March 8, 2012 at 12:47 pm

New signs going up on I-95:

"Welcome To Georgia, The IQ of a Peach State."

IncenseDebate March 8, 2012 at 12:48 pm

I think Hitler was for alternative energy.

MrFizzy March 8, 2012 at 12:48 pm

The south should abort itself.

Maman March 8, 2012 at 12:50 pm

And have to explain itself properly or go to jail

Ruhe March 8, 2012 at 12:54 pm

They tried but we stupidly, in hindsight, intervened. Thank you Mr. Lincoln.

HistoriCat March 8, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Just leads to blah people hugging – at Harvard!! Disgusting.

ManchuCandidate March 8, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I'll give them a 6.0 in Ironic Religious Tyranny, a 5.8 in Sucking Up to the 1%ers and a 4.2 in petty petty petty Condo Board assholery.

memzilla March 8, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Wait. A. Minute. Didn't Ay-rabs invent those fancy-pancy Yurrapeen socialist metric system numbers you're a-usin' there?

Keep your hands on the steering wheel, sir.

Lucidamente1 March 8, 2012 at 12:49 pm

What a bunch of retards. (Spank me, Editrix, spank me hard.)

MrFizzy March 8, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Get in line.

SexySmurf March 8, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I think they should all go *thinks about it* skullfuck themselves.

Crank_Tango March 8, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I have been thinking about skullfucking a lot in the past day, because I was told to.

imissopus March 8, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I'm willing to bet the number of times "skullfucking" has been typed or obliquely referenced here in the last twenty-four hours far outstrips the number of times it has been said or referenced in the entire history of this website.

starfanglednut March 8, 2012 at 11:29 pm

If someone has their head up their ass, and you are having teh buttsecks with said individual, are you skullfucking them?

Blueb4sunrise March 8, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Puppies.

memzilla March 8, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Wait, wait, I'm confused. Does this mean that Mrs. Willie Horton can have only 3/5ths of an abortion? Does she have to learn to smog-test her own Cadillac?

And can the Klan still have their Klaverns, because First and Second Amendments, so long as they use an EPA-approved biofuel to light the crosses?

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 8, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Oh yeah, so calling them "little Hitlers" is not totally libelous???

You know who else called people "little Hitlers"???

Fare la Volpe March 8, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Hitler?

Ruhe March 8, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Your timing is impeccable.

IncenseDebate March 8, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Hitler's mom? When she called the kids to dinner?

MrFizzy March 8, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Marco Rubio's neighbors?

Crank_Tango March 8, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Actually, according to the urban dictionary, a "little hitler" is a variant of the classic "dirty sanchez" *

*not really, but it should be. Don't make me look it up. OK fine:

1. Little Hitler is a shaving and trimming short of a women's pubic area. This leaves a small short haired patch of hair that looks like a mustache. Although most men prefer women with shaved pussy, the little hitler is a second best.

3. the european version of the dirty sanchez
the little hitler is when you stick your finger up a womans bum, pull it out then draw a moustache over her upper lip

teebob2000 March 8, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Do I have to pick just one??

Steverino247 March 8, 2012 at 1:10 pm

"Although most men prefer women with shaved pussy, "

Speak for yourself, buddy. In my day, women had hair down there and we liked it!

HistoriCat March 8, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Well, aren't we picky, Mr. Spoiled for Choice! In my day, we (okay, I) didn't complain about the state of the foliage down there – just being able to find out was a too rare event.

Biff March 8, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Do NOT look up "snatchsquatch"!

SorosBot March 8, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Are we talking about the 70s-style, giant ungroomed thicket of full hair that you'll get stuck in your mouth? Ick.

commiegirl March 8, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Seventies Pie. See also "Demi Moore's Bush" and "A Slice of New York Pizza."

b[redact]opple March 8, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I think you just got us all banned.

gurukalehuru March 8, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Ira Levin?

memzilla March 8, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Little Hitlerettes?

Studebaker Hawk March 8, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Elvis Costello?

real_dc_native March 8, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Hitler youth leaders?

Which would make an old guy in Rome a former little Hitler.

onemoretime79 March 8, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I'd like to echo quacker's sentiment, posted 11 hours ago in the only comment under the article on the RN-T.com website link:

"State Republicans are do-do heads".

I'll go even further, though. The entire Republican party are a bunch of do-do heads. WHERE ARE THE JOBS and why do they keep pouring do-do from their heads?

Crank_Tango March 8, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Well, at least these fuckers are, uh, consistently against government intrusion in our lives, except when they have a total hard-on for it.

Abernathy March 8, 2012 at 12:53 pm

You didn't mention the biggest outrage of them all: "the House plan trimmed…$10 million for the College Football Hall of Fame." Then what's the point of saving all that phat money by outlawing state accountants' field trips to the Abortionplex? They may as well call themselves the USSR of Georgia.

Fare la Volpe March 8, 2012 at 12:54 pm

The Georgia Senate approved legislation that would require people seeking food stamps to earn their GED, pursue technical education, attend self-development classes or enroll in adult literacy classes to receive benefits….

If passed, the law would exempt: People under 16 or over 59; the mentally or physically disabled; caretakers of dependent children or adults; people who work at least 30 hours a week; students; participants in alcohol or drug rehabilitation programs or people receiving unemployment benefits.

So it would exempt people who can't vote and anyone who votes Republican, huh?

OneDollarJuana March 8, 2012 at 1:04 pm

'Cept for the working 30 hours bit. Unless you count moonshine-making.

Sue4466 March 8, 2012 at 12:56 pm

As a resident of Georgia, let me say: the North should have let this POS place go when it had the chance.

elviouslyqueer March 8, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Your move (again), William Tecumseh Sherman.

BaldarTFlagass March 8, 2012 at 12:56 pm

They still are trying to live down and make up for the fact that the two-letter USPS abbreviation for their state is GA. GAY!

Callyson March 8, 2012 at 12:58 pm

The Georgia Senate approved legislation that would require people seeking public office to earn their GED, pursue technical education, attend self-development classes or enroll in adult literacy classes to receive benefits.
/fixed

neiltheblaze March 8, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Jeepers!

freakishlywrong March 8, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Haiti is nice this time of year. All these assholes should get them to Haiti.

PsycWench March 8, 2012 at 1:00 pm

OT/ one of our local wingnuts made a statement about Rush Limbaugh that should be seen to be appreciated. http://blogs.roanoke.com/dancasey/2012/03/suzie-t

DonnyKerabotsos March 8, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Today we are all Pharisees.

MosesInvests March 8, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Comparing Rushbo to Hay-zoos?! Now, I'm not a Christian, so what do I know, but wouldn't most Christians consider that somewhat blasphemous?

PubOption March 8, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I don't know why he has that halo. We all know that Rush fools in where angels fear to tread.

Biff March 8, 2012 at 2:27 pm

She looks adorable, though!

SorosBot March 8, 2012 at 1:02 pm

It's your turn, Arizona and South Carolina; see if you up the crazy past Georgia!

carolinaswamp March 8, 2012 at 1:40 pm

We just gave you the Laurens County Republican Party Purity Test, what more do you want? Besides, everybody is busy waiting for the Lt. Gov. to resign as part of his plea agreement on campaign corruption charges, which will leave the position vacant. The constitutional successor doesn't want the job, which mainly involves waiting for the governor to die. Although there are a number of people in the state who could handle these job requirements, the position is likely to devolve to whomever is most anxious to retire in place and collect a paycheck for doing nothing except dressing up in a pretty robe to preside over the Senate.

BigSkullF*ckingDog March 8, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Less hippie-commie ranting and more advice on how to use coupons more effectively please! Also, my kids refuse to eat anything but fruit loops fried in bacon grease. What should I do?

prommie March 8, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Stick your thumb up hubbbies ass while blowing him and massage the prostate; he'll be so grateful he may even give you some extra pin money so you can buy a hat.

Biff March 8, 2012 at 2:29 pm

♪♫Signed, Dear Abby!♫♪

starfanglednut March 8, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Thumbs up just for your name, and the post is funny too. have you ever read a story called "The Best of Betty" by Patricia Highsmith?

elviouslyqueer March 8, 2012 at 1:04 pm

None of several pieces of legislation seeking to tighten lobbying rules passed, including one measure that would have banned lobbyists from spending more than $100 on lawmakers.

You don't say.

Biff March 8, 2012 at 2:31 pm
SorosBot March 8, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I see they also tried a state-level version of the Blunt Amendment to give employers' control of their employees' uteri. Someone hasn't heard of the Supremacy Clause – sorry misogynists, if your state law violates federal law, it's trash.

Crank_Tango March 8, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Oddly enough, they thought it meant White Supremacy.

Pres.Beeblebrox March 8, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Oh, Georgia, Georgia… Small government is better, right? Tax & spend liberals are evil, right?

Those lines make perfect sense from a party who sponsored an anti-Food Stamp program which would cost $772 MILLION to implement. That's 772 followed by six zeros (divided by zero = gigantic time/space implosion).

Who's the free-spending party now, bitches?

The Georgia Senate approved legislation that would require people seeking food stamps to earn their GED, pursue technical education, attend self-development classes or enroll in adult literacy classes to receive benefits. Sen. William Ligon, the bill's sponsor, said the legislation is intended to help underemployed Georgians get the professional development training they need to better themselves. Opponents slammed the proposal as an onerous burden on an already strained population.

If passed, the law would exempt: People under 16 or over 59; the mentally or physically disabled; caretakers of dependent children or adults; people who work at least 30 hours a week; students; participants in alcohol or drug rehabilitation programs or people receiving unemployment benefits. The Department of Human Services would first create a five-county pilot program before taking the initiative statewide.

The Department of Audits and Accounts estimates the pilot program cost at $23 million, with statewide implementation expected to cost $772 million.

real_dc_native March 8, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Except for making the training and education part, it sounds like the ghost of LBJ is influencing the Georgia Legislature. When will that start a land war in Southeast Asia?

prommie March 8, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Do references to a "short bus" pass muster?

Steverino247 March 8, 2012 at 1:16 pm

How about the terms "Cracker," "White Trash" and "Tornado Bait?"

ElPinche March 8, 2012 at 1:06 pm

"Under the proposal, assisting in a suicide would be a felony punishable by up to 10 years in prison. "

Does this include assisted skullfucking?
That's the way I'd go, better to burn out then fade away.

SkinnyNerd March 8, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Here are three and a half wonderful minutes from the Georgia Lege.

Biff March 8, 2012 at 2:54 pm

What the fucking fuck!? Trading chickens for unaborted fetus? Talk about salt of the earth.

starfanglednut March 8, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Sadly, internet is out up and down the east coast, so I'm surfing teh wonkeette by tethering to my jailbroken piece of shit hacked to run on tmobile iphone, and my connection is too slow to view this doubtless deeply touching video. Sigh…

SayItWithWookies March 8, 2012 at 1:12 pm

None of several pieces of legislation seeking to tighten lobbying rules passed, including one measure that would have banned lobbyists from spending more than $100 on lawmakers.

I hope Georgia's representatives sent their constituents a nice "fuck you" note with that.

ttommyunger March 8, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Should have know that dingleberry Rick Warren would be somehow coupled with this assholery. I know in my heart he set Barry up by arranging for Walnuts to hear the Obamer segment prior to coming on for his own part. OT: Osama was reportedly living with three wives, 28 kids and 5 grand-kids in that mud dwelling in Pakistan. This revelation is spurring speculation that rather than being killed by our troops, he snatched the gun from the first SEAL into his quarters and shot himself.

el_donaldo March 8, 2012 at 1:18 pm

The penalty for the inability of white Southerners to treat people not of European descent with dignity is too be governed by idiots. Which would be fine if the screaming bigots were the only ones affected, but that's sadly not the case.

owhatever March 8, 2012 at 1:24 pm

They Georgia Legislature also appropriated $10 million to build a fence along its border with Mexico.

real_dc_native March 8, 2012 at 1:27 pm

So, my religion requires a hedonistic orgy (with both buttsex and all the other kinds) during the Spring Equinox. So will I be protected under the First Amendment or prosecuted under the First Amendment?

GeneralLerong March 8, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Paging Zombie General Sherman. Zombie General Sherman. Zombie General Sherman, please pick up the white courtesy phone…

PubOption March 8, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Of course they want to ban solar panels. They still remember that Jimmy Carter put some on the roof of the white house, next thing the price of gas went up, and NASCAR started using restrictor plates.

banana_bread March 8, 2012 at 2:03 pm

The article category is awesome. I tip my hat to thee, o Editrix.

Lazy Media March 8, 2012 at 2:14 pm

HEY! You pinko gun-grabber, you left out SB493, to allow 18-year-olds to carry pistols, so they can work mall security. No shit.

AlaskaGrrl March 8, 2012 at 2:15 pm

That's a purtty little Constitution ya got there boy.

NellCote71 March 8, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Be a shame if sumpin' happened to it.

LadyWisdom March 8, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Is there some way to make state elections sexy so people will pay attention?

Maybe some Hollywood movie star reading this could start going around the country to support progressives running for, say, state senate from Pudunkville?

Maybe Wonkette could offer a daily round-up of progressive politicians at the local and state level who need our help to beat the Repugs?

(And maybe people running for state office could dress better and fix themselves up a little?)

Our states are run by those who show up. We gotta figure out a way to make state elections glammy so the cool people will want to be there.

slowhansolo March 8, 2012 at 3:33 pm

I'm guessing they got to the suppressive voter ID thing a long time ago. Pennsylvania, land of slackers, is only getting to it now. But fear not! It WILL apply for November!

Steverino247 March 8, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Maybe later when I'm on a "different" computer.

Steverino247 March 8, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Now THAT is what a woman looks like. Thanks for reminding me of that photo shoot.

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