KISS AND TELL  11:27 am March 8, 2012

Secret Service Agent Tell-All! Hillary Clinton Didn’t Say ‘Thanks’ That Much!

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Mad bitchez, yo.As we all know from our repeated viewings of Guarding Tess, the documentary about Secret Service agent Nicolas Cage and mad-bitch old First Lady Shirley MacLaine, First Ladies are cold, needy nightmares and Secret Service agents are longsuffering studs who have not yet lost their hair and metamorphosized to ghost wizards. As we also also know, Secret Service agents and First Ladies hate each other like Wonkers hate rules! So what have you got for us, “self-published” former agent Dan Emmett? Something good, right? Condoms on the “holiday bushes” and lesbian MURDER, yes? Bring it, Washington Examiner, we are All Ears!

On the first lady, he describes her as aloof, someone who didn’t say “thank you” to agents while the president and former first daughter Chelsea typically did. He told Secrets, “she was not as out-going or cordial.”

Well. Er. Hrrm. Your editrix admits to feeling a small bit let down — the same sad deflation she feels after seeing the actual product of whatever Ghost Andrew Breitbart has relentlessly puffed.

But surely you’ve got something, Dan Emmett! ANYTHING!

In another, he wrote of a female staffer who wouldn’t listen to Emmett’s security advice. “She stared at me with a look as if her father had just told her she couldn’t go to the mall with her friends and get a tattoo or body piercing,” he wrote. “My patient attempts to reason were met with childlike emotion born of a past where no one in authority–probably beginning with her parents–had ever said no to her about anything.”

We get it! So Hillary never said thank you to you, specifically, because she hates you for being a rigid patriarchal full-sexxxist DICK.

A call to your editrix’s personal acquaintance, Secret Service spokesman Ed Donovan, whom she met one nice Texas day outsidea Crawford, was not returned in the four minutes she spent preparing this post. [Washington Examiner]

 
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Hola wonkerados.

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{ 159 comments }

Barb March 8, 2012 at 11:30 am

Hillary looks like she's putting on a little weight. She'd better be careful, 10 more pounds and Bill is going to start hitting on her.

freakishlywrong March 8, 2012 at 11:43 am

Do you just sit around and think of that shit and then unfurl at the appropriate post, snarkstress?

Barb March 8, 2012 at 11:55 am

It gives me something to do between Zuma's Revenge rounds.

actor212 March 8, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Try Konsyl. The natural fibre helps keep you regular

nounverb911 March 8, 2012 at 11:30 am

I pity the poor agents that have to take care of Newt.

Fare la Volpe March 8, 2012 at 11:41 am

He makes them pull janitor duty too.

LionHeartSoyDog March 8, 2012 at 2:06 pm

"Pull janitor duty."
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

elviouslyqueer March 8, 2012 at 11:42 am

The size of his anti-harpoon detail alone must be staggering.

anniegetyerfun March 8, 2012 at 11:48 am

Can you imagine what trips to Japan would be like? Just so dangerous.

Generation[redacted] March 8, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Sea Shepherds must be feeling so conflicted.

Toomush_Infer March 8, 2012 at 11:52 am

Clean-up in stall 3….

Guppy March 8, 2012 at 12:09 pm

They'd have to guard him as well as the First, Second, Third and Fourth Lady!

chascates March 8, 2012 at 11:31 am

There was an email that used to make the rounds revealing how the Clintons made the Secret Service do menial chores (laundry, pulling carts around?) and contrasted Friendly President Bush who it claimed cooked a barbeque for the agents as soon as he was at his ranch.

ManchuCandidate March 8, 2012 at 11:34 am

Or when the SS agents would pour his drunken daughters and their idiot friends into the Black Suburban SUVs to take them home?

memzilla March 8, 2012 at 11:38 am

While reading "Bin Laden Determined To Baste US."

prommie March 8, 2012 at 11:45 am

Jock sniffers adore macho cops.

Chichikovovich March 8, 2012 at 11:47 am

President Bush? Never heard of him.

(It will be interesting to see where he gets placed on the Republican convention speaking list. They can't just leave him out altogether, or exile him to speaking at early Sunday morning prayer breakfast, can they?)

Generation[redacted] March 8, 2012 at 12:05 pm

They could put him in charge of the BBQ.

DrunkIrishman March 8, 2012 at 6:23 pm

I don't know…I think they created a hurricane last go around just to keep him from speaking at their convention.

Generation[redacted] March 8, 2012 at 12:05 pm

"Hand me that intelligence report, I need something to start the charcoal."

gullywompr March 8, 2012 at 11:31 am

That cunt!

Lascauxcaveman March 8, 2012 at 11:43 am

I've never seen that word before, either here or on the internets. Is that some sort of urban-slang thing for rude or cold and impersonal person?

Chillatte March 8, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Enjoy your banning, Gully.

gullywompr March 8, 2012 at 12:32 pm

This cunt has been removed because rules.

lefty74 March 8, 2012 at 11:32 am

Speaking of cigars, Rush Limbaugh reminds me of an action movie star when he smokes one. Yes Lassie. Taking a shit.

memzilla March 8, 2012 at 11:36 am

You're confusing Lassie with Rin Sin Sin, but otherwise, agreed.

chascates March 8, 2012 at 11:39 am

One of the best lines of all times!

nounverb911 March 8, 2012 at 11:32 am

Are the agents required to change the batteries in the Mittbot 9000?

LabRodent March 8, 2012 at 11:41 am

Mittbot 9000 is powered by the blood of the poor.

widestanceromance March 8, 2012 at 11:47 am

I thought it was the energy generated by rapid flip-flopping.

BaldarTFlagass March 8, 2012 at 11:33 am

Wait, what? Hillary got a tattoo?

LesBontemps March 8, 2012 at 11:39 am

No, the SS douche told her she couldn't get one, or a nipple piercing either, apparently.

Generation[redacted] March 8, 2012 at 12:02 pm

I'm hoping President Newt goes for the full body modification, like that dude on the Discovery Channel who tried to turn himself into a cat.

Fare la Volpe March 8, 2012 at 11:40 am

Tramp stamp.

BaldarTFlagass March 8, 2012 at 11:34 am

Ice princess is icy. At least, to the help.

orygoon March 8, 2012 at 11:35 am

Heavily edited videos or it didn't happen.

Sharkey March 8, 2012 at 11:35 am

Oh dear. How rude and inappropriate for a first lady. Rather reminiscent of a female dog.

Fare la Volpe March 8, 2012 at 11:40 am

Lassie?

RedneckMuslin March 8, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Ann Coulter? or The Bitch.

GOPCrusher March 8, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Yes. Quite. * adjusts monocle *

memzilla March 8, 2012 at 11:35 am

So… she acted like Nancy Reagan? Tell me again, this is news… why?

Lucidamente1 March 8, 2012 at 11:35 am

Next thing you know, they'll reveal that Obama once hugged one of his law school professors.

NellCote71 March 8, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Get out of here.

YasserArraFeck March 8, 2012 at 11:35 am

"And Emmett, when the phone rings at 3 am, take a message"

neiltheblaze March 8, 2012 at 11:36 am

Aw! The big he-man didn't get thanked enough by the mean lady.

ManchuCandidate March 8, 2012 at 11:36 am

Shitting on the Hilsbot is so 2008

el_donaldo March 8, 2012 at 11:37 am

So we're supposed to care that Hillary was less outgoing than Bill? Do they really want that sex tape that badly?

DaRooster March 8, 2012 at 11:38 am

Who woulda thought that Hilary could be a bitch… um… un-nice?

chascates March 8, 2012 at 11:38 am

Hey, WAIT A MINUTE! Investigative Journalist Ronald Kessler wrote a book too <a href="http://(http://www.ronaldkessler.com/newbook.html)” target=”_blank”>(http://www.ronaldkessler.com/newbook.html) and claims:
• Because of objections by the wife of Michael Chertoff, the secretary of Homeland Security, the Secret Service stopped performing checks on workers cleaning the Chertoffs’ home, even though agents knew that many of the workers were illegal immigrants.
• Vice President Dick Cheney’s daughter Mary, who was guarded by the Secret Service along with her baby, demanded that the Secret Service shuttle her friends to restaurants. When her detail leader objected, she had the agent removed.
• At a Halloween party, Jenna Bush’s now husband Henry Hager became so inebriated that the Secret Service wound up taking him to Georgetown University Hospital. Another time, he became drunk with Jenna in a Georgetown bar and picked a fight with several other patrons. The Secret Service had to intervene to avoid a brawl.
• In contrast to John McCain, Barack Obama—codenamed Renegade—and Michelle Obama—codenamed Renaissance—treat agents with consideration and respect. Contrary to Obama’s repeated claims that he is giving up smoking, he has continued to smoke regularly.

Mumbletypeg March 8, 2012 at 11:44 am

"Contrary to Obama’s repeated claims that he is giving up smoking, he has continued to smoke regularly."

I never doubted it.
The day the story breaks that Michelle, on the other hand, is caught taking a drag or two, is what I wait for with baited *cough* breath..

chascates March 8, 2012 at 11:49 am

Imagine the pressure of being Leader of the Free World and not being able to smoke a cigarette! Bush had Jesus (and delusions), Clinton had Monica (and God knows who else), George H.W. Bush had fishing in Kenebunkport, and Reagan had Bonzo.

Toomush_Infer March 8, 2012 at 11:57 am

Clinton was definitely smokin'. Definitely….

PubOption March 8, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Did he smoke THE cigar?

Generation[redacted] March 8, 2012 at 11:58 am

"I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue." -William Howard Taft

mrsbitch March 8, 2012 at 11:39 am

So, Hillary obviously didn't beat blind obedience into the snot-nosed, young female staffers nearly enough if they wouldn't follow Emmett's advice. Bill tried. God knows, Bill tried and tried, with mixed, spotty results.

YasserArraFeck March 8, 2012 at 11:47 am

Bill was always giving the female staffers a good dressing down….that dog…

LiveToServeYa March 8, 2012 at 11:39 am

His reply to 'thank you' would be 'just doin' mah job, Ma'am', so she just cut out all the useless dialog shit.

LabRodent March 8, 2012 at 11:39 am

Take a bullet for me then we'll talk until then be a dear peel me another grape.

Blueb4sunrise March 8, 2012 at 11:40 am
Toomush_Infer March 8, 2012 at 11:58 am

Apparently, George's SS didn't consider shoes dangerous weapons…

DemmeFatale March 8, 2012 at 11:40 am

True story:
We lived in the same town as the Clintons, and the Secret Service dudes said that they were the friendliest and most accessible ex-Pres.and First Lady ever.
(Just sayin'…)

chascates March 8, 2012 at 11:42 am

Bill was just pallin' around with them so they'd take him to get french fries and BBQ!

Chichikovovich March 8, 2012 at 11:51 am

Well, that just goes to show how terrified for their lives the Secret Service agents were.

Limeylizzie March 8, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Yep, a friend of mine has a friend who is married to someone on Barry's detail and he says that the Obamas and their kids are so polite and nice and Hilary and Bill were also lovely, Old Lady Barbara Bush was a screaming bitch apparently-no surprise there.

Generation[redacted] March 8, 2012 at 11:40 am

Okay, but what about that movie where the first daughter slips away and falls for some British guy? It was on cable the other night.

elviouslyqueer March 8, 2012 at 11:51 am

Anything involving Anne Hathaway?

SayItWithWookies March 8, 2012 at 11:40 am

Of course Hillary wasn't nice to the Secret Service guys — weren't they the ones who were allegedly always piling Bill into the trunk of a car so he could run out to hotels and fuck loose women? Or is this a case of one pack of baseless slander conflicting with another case of baseless slander but since they're both on the same side the reader should ignore the inconsistencies?

MissTaken March 8, 2012 at 11:42 am

You mean Hillary didn't say "Thank You!" to the agents who quietly stood by while her husband was getting his dick sucked off by an intern while at work? Shocking!

SorosBot March 8, 2012 at 11:59 am

Hey, who wouldn't want to watch the President get his dick sucked in the Oval Office?

MissTaken March 8, 2012 at 3:17 pm

The President's wife?

…assuming of course she's NOT the one sucking his dick.

prommie March 8, 2012 at 11:42 am

Well, at least he is not showing any evidence of the old paternalistic ideals of male superiority.

SorosBot March 8, 2012 at 11:57 am

Nope, nor is he treating grown women like children who he has to talk down to and always knows better than, because he has a penis.

Captain_Quark March 8, 2012 at 11:43 am

Wow. The rumors are true. With a post like that, it's clear that this site has officially gotten its lame on. Sic transit Gloria, Gumby.

Chichikovovich March 8, 2012 at 11:50 am

We weren't supposed to get a Sic Transit Gloria post until Monday.

skoalrebel March 8, 2012 at 11:57 am

By insulting the physically challenged with that "lame" remark, you are hereby banned for life! [spit!]

flamingpdog March 8, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Whoa, where have you been hiding, skoalrebel? First Crank Tango comes outta hibernation and now you.

chascates March 8, 2012 at 11:43 am

Downton Abbey?

PubOption March 8, 2012 at 2:07 pm

That was a Turkish diplomat.

Fare la Volpe March 8, 2012 at 11:43 am

My patient attempts to reason were met with childlike emotion born of a past where no one in authority–probably beginning with her parents–had ever said no to her about anything.

But enough about Bristol.

SHE'S LEGAL. I CAN SAY IT.

chascates March 8, 2012 at 11:46 am

Hey, if Bristol follows through with her idea to help sister Willow open a beauty salon we can set up a flash mob to hit the place on opening day!
But Wasilla probably doesn't have the people to do that. Maybe we can trade fast food tokens for volunteers?

elviouslyqueer March 8, 2012 at 11:46 am

Scathing, darling. So much so that I must retire to my fainting couch, inhale my smelling salts, and dab my fevered brow.

SheriffRoscoe March 8, 2012 at 11:44 am

Man hater!

What, did they say she had female agents, too?

DaRooster March 8, 2012 at 11:44 am

Just wait until Sarah gets there.

widestanceromance March 8, 2012 at 11:44 am

She's cordial enough.

anniegetyerfun March 8, 2012 at 11:44 am

Ahem. The correct term is "Wonketteers."

nounverb911 March 8, 2012 at 11:54 am

Where's Jimmy Dodd and Annette Funicello?

widestanceromance March 8, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Agreed. If someone calls you a Wonker, you're doing it wrong.

Guppy March 8, 2012 at 12:13 pm

I prefer "Wonktards."

anniegetyerfun March 8, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Wonkunts.

HistoriCat March 8, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I vote for "Wonketteriat"

MosesInvests March 8, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Wonkeratti is also acceptable, as is Wonkettariat. BTW, loved your line about "Monty Python Tourette's"-I'm stealing that one, OK?

anniegetyerfun March 8, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Did I say that? I must be drinking more heavily than usual to say something funny and then forget it completely.

commiegirl March 8, 2012 at 12:58 pm

YOU ARE ALL WONKERS NOW.

WABishop March 9, 2012 at 10:33 am

I, for one, welcome whatever epithets our new Editrix cares to fling my way.

freakishlywrong March 8, 2012 at 11:44 am

The way Hillary has been pilloried, can't blame her for being a bit aloof.

cheetojeebus March 8, 2012 at 11:46 am

So, is there a blog yet where we can post fanfic?

btw good thing Chad Feldheimer didn't get his hands on this before it was published.

4TheTurnstiles March 8, 2012 at 11:47 am

Are we still bitching about the new commenting rules, or has that jumped the shark already? TruckNutz?

Sharkey March 8, 2012 at 11:50 am

People and things jump me all the time. Live and learn.

prommie March 8, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Jumping the shark has jumped the shark; the Great Gazoo is the new shark-jump.

Mumbletypeg March 8, 2012 at 11:47 am

His takedown on the "female staffer" was tl;dr. Just say she was a spoiled brat and get on to the good part, Emmett!… … Still waiting…

SorosBot March 8, 2012 at 11:55 am

Needs more misogyny though.

magic_titty March 8, 2012 at 11:47 am

Newell's back?

SheriffRoscoe March 8, 2012 at 11:50 am

Yes. And they found the long lost ban hammer.

Generation[redacted] March 8, 2012 at 11:55 am

I had heard WoW was offering free weapon power-ups to keep players from deserting.

SorosBot March 8, 2012 at 11:48 am

Does anyone have a clue what the fuck “She stared at me with a look as if her father had just told her she couldn’t go to the mall with her friends and get a tattoo or body piercing” is supposed to mean? Besides being condescending and infantizing, it just makes no sense.

widestanceromance March 8, 2012 at 11:52 am

Major latent daddy issues with a minor in misogyny?

SheriffRoscoe March 8, 2012 at 11:53 am

It was "self-published," so maybe it didn't have to get past an "editor?"

Generation[redacted] March 8, 2012 at 12:15 pm

I see a Bulwer-Lytton Award in someone's future!

BigDumbRedDog March 8, 2012 at 12:21 pm

I think he got that passage mixed up with the teenage erotica he was writing.

SorosBot March 8, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Mmmm, erotic teen girls…

prommie March 8, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Well, he's belaboring the point a bit, but I think he wants to point out that properly raised young ladies know how to take orders from male authority figures, as we all know, right?

flamingpdog March 8, 2012 at 11:48 am

“Most of these youngsters were from wealthy families, and many viewed Secret Services agents as the hired help,”

So, obnoxious, pampered rich kids in high-level government positions are obnoxious and pampered. This is worth a book? And this post is the most provacative and stimulating one I've commented on since Tim Pawlenty announczzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

gurukalehuru March 8, 2012 at 2:25 pm

So, what are the Secret Service if not hired help? I'm not saying they are not valued or are not performing a necessary and potentially dangerous service. That's what they're hired for.

widestanceromance March 8, 2012 at 11:49 am

You know who else didn't say thank you?

mrsbitch March 8, 2012 at 11:52 am

Seamus?

anniegetyerfun March 8, 2012 at 11:53 am

The insufficiently grateful residents of Sodom and Gomorrah?

SayItWithWookies March 8, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Those ungrateful citizens of Iraq?

Generation[redacted] March 8, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Won't even buy our rice at inflated prices! The nerve of some people!

HistoriCat March 8, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Where are the flowers??

LesBontemps March 8, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Goofus?

HistoriCat March 8, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Pig Won't!

Jerri March 8, 2012 at 11:51 am

Get this man a newspaper etiquette column gig!

miss_grundy March 8, 2012 at 11:54 am

Most of these jokers who serve in the Secret Service are Republicans, so, of course, they will say lousy stuff about Democrats but won't say anything bad about their own. Assholes! They should be forced to serve the nitwits from their own party and have to do all the slave work and then we'll see how they'll look upon their halcyon days dealing with the Dems.

meatlofer March 8, 2012 at 11:58 am

Whitney, should've kept Costner on board,he may have derailed the Blow Train!

BigDumbRedDog March 8, 2012 at 12:00 pm

These are weird blog posts! I came here for tips on childcare and how to keep my husband happy and all I am seeing is a lot of filthy words and unfunny jokes!

elviouslyqueer March 8, 2012 at 12:19 pm

how to keep my husband happy

Did you miss all the posts about teh buttsechs? C'mon honey, keep up!

flamingpdog March 8, 2012 at 12:37 pm

And those brazillions of comments telling Sarah Palin and Rick Santorum how they should be raising their children?

James Michael Curley March 8, 2012 at 3:51 pm

The new Overlords banned the funny jokes.

An_Outhouse March 8, 2012 at 12:01 pm

When did we become Wonkers? There is so much change happening around here I'm getting vertigo.

Maman March 8, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Imagine Hillary not being outgoing with a condescending prick (allegedly). Shocking!

prommie March 8, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Clearly, her father never taught her manners.

Chillatte March 8, 2012 at 12:02 pm

The Secret Service needs to start hiring real men.

MozakiBlocks March 8, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Meh.

Joshua Norton March 8, 2012 at 12:13 pm

My patient attempts to reason were met with childlike emotion born of a past where no one in authority–probably beginning with her parents–had ever said no to her about anything

You need this guy to help write the new Wonkette Rulz of Bloggin Etikett 'n Stuff. That is if Miss Manners isn't available.

fuflans March 8, 2012 at 12:14 pm

in my ongoing commentary on key developments in the land of subscriber television, i will merely point out that i cannot WAIT to see shirley macLaine take on maggie smith.

this will give meaning to my small sad life.

DemmeFatale March 8, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Should be a "one-liner" fest!
And the costumes will be pretty, too!

Guppy March 8, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Hillary just seemed so distant after her tour in Bosnia.

fuflans March 8, 2012 at 12:17 pm

In another, he wrote of a female staffer who wouldn’t listen to Emmett’s security advice. “She stared at me with a look as if her father had just told her she couldn’t go to the mall with her friends and get a tattoo or body piercing,”

hahahahaha as if hillz would get a tattoo.

oh, wait, maybe he's talking about bill?

Fox n Fiends March 8, 2012 at 12:18 pm

I met Hillary and she was nice to me. I also met Bill and he's very short.

prommie March 8, 2012 at 12:25 pm

You know, this kind of reactionary propaganda must be countered by the intellectual elite, else the proletariat will never develop the class-consciousness necessary to bring about the glorious workers' revolution. But remember, comrades, in our ceaseless struggle to overthrow the capitalist oppressors, we must not victimize the defenseless or speak of harm or injury occurring to the running dog lackeys and capitalist tools. As comrade Obama said in the coded transmission Tuesday, the secrecy of our conspiracy is of paramount importance.

Exhausted66 March 8, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Hi Secret Service Spokesperson, it's me Editrix can I get a comment on Hilary not being nice. Call me back, PLEASE. THANK YOU.

You did say, "please" and "thank you" didn't you?

DahBoner March 8, 2012 at 1:48 pm

And maybe a YOUBETCHA thrown in for good measure?

Tundra Grifter March 8, 2012 at 12:30 pm

"As we also also know, Secret Service agents and First Ladies hate each other like Wonkers hate rules!"

We saw what you did there, Rebecca!

Mahousu March 8, 2012 at 12:31 pm

She stared at me with a look as if her father had just told her she couldn’t go to the mall with her friends and get a tattoo or body piercing.

This guy must have a Ph.D. in body language if he's able to extract that much backstory from a single look.

pdiddycornchips March 8, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I'm still getting used to the new rules, can I call this guy a pompous asshole? To the best of my knowledge, he is neither a child or developmentally challenged. Allegedly.

YasserArraFeck March 8, 2012 at 1:11 pm

"I know things about people, Lily"

ttommyunger March 8, 2012 at 12:49 pm

"longsuffering studs…" Having worked with the SS (and their uniformed Branch, EPS) I would make a different characterization: bored shitless functional alcoholics. Just sayin'…

proudgrampa March 8, 2012 at 1:01 pm

That totally makes sense to me. 99.999% of the time, they do nothing but sit or stand around. Don't understand how anyone could make a career of that.

ttommyunger March 8, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Got to be tough working and training for twenty or thirty years for something that never happens. They do have other duties, branches, etc. (counterfeiting, credit card fraud, etc.), but the Protection Services-tough duty…

JimNauseam March 8, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Funny stuff, Rebecca.

Abernathy March 8, 2012 at 1:17 pm

There's a word for ladies who don't sweetly thank every man anywhere around them for putting up with their inexplicable existence every second of every day, especially once they've lost their looks, but I think it's banned by the commenting rules.

Midway117 March 8, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Happy International Women's Day! You're welcome.

owhatever March 8, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Hey, Agent Emmet, what part of "Secret" Service don't you understand? On behalf of the Secretary of State and former First Lady, who is smarter and cooler than you will ever be, we Wonketeers send a huge THANK YOU, AGENT EMMET for doing the job you were trained and paid to do at taxpayer expense. Now slink away and shut the fuck up.

DahBoner March 8, 2012 at 1:43 pm

This SS agent sounds unhappy!

I'll bet he wears jeans:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/03/1203

thefrontpage March 8, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Here is an excerpt from the book, courtesty of Secret Publishing, which published the book under its Government Tales division:

"Althought Hillary didn't say 'thank you' that often, she was constantly amused by various defiant sexual practices. She constantly talked openly to us about Cleveland steamers, blue plate specials, teabagging, felching and Dirty Sanchezes. We always enjoyed these discussions–especially when she told us about the times she tried some of these practices with Bill and George and Al."

luckismine March 8, 2012 at 4:59 pm

I don’t know this guy and will never read his book, but I already hate him. He’s the same douche you hooked up with in a drunken, lonely lapse of judgment your freshman year in college who’s still telling everyone he bagged you at the reunion.

BigDumbRedDog March 8, 2012 at 5:39 pm

We are all dying to know, did you get the part of incontinent lady 3rd from the left?

Limeylizzie March 8, 2012 at 5:44 pm

It was hilarious, supposed to be “real” so they couldn't audition in LA, due to the Botox etc, they had a bunch of women , all over 40, talking about our dry vaginas, hair on the face, hot flashes and wetting yourself in public, all lovely symptoms of Perimenopause.

Callyson March 8, 2012 at 12:03 pm

You know it's bad when Regnery passes…

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