1. No slurs on children or the mentally disabled (the actually mentally disabled). This is well-established, assholes.
2. No wishing or ideating on physical threats to those with whom you disagree (i.e. ‘machinegunning’ or hoping for their deaths in any other sense than that you hope they die lonely and alone). This includes wishes for people to be raped in prison — not only is that barbaric, it’s also a huge cliché and we are tired of it. Yes, that includes veiled references to a bad person meeting their cellmate Bubba. Rape is evil, and we do not wish it on anyone, not even evil people.
3. Try not to be totally libelous.
4. If you wanna be disgusting pigs and talk about skullfucking your enemies, then your editrix, as a one-eyed man-king in the land of the blind, will not take offense. But it’s pretty perilously fucking close to wishing rape on someone. Maybe think about that?
5. Sometimes someone who works here — one of our moderators or perhaps the dogs — will ban you or delete or edit your comment or laugh at you publicly, even though you didn’t break a stated rule! That is because they’re in charge here, and they’re sick of your shit.
6. There is NO Rule 6.
OBEY THE LAWS, MINIONS, OR BE DEALT WITH WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE. But not Texas-style, as we are civilized.
Dok Zoom and Shypixel
Your Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderators
[Update 12/17/2015: Added “or edit” to Rule 5]