The "flag comment" function exists for a reason. Please alert moderators if you see a comment that violates the rules, is clearly spam, or is obvious trolling. We love you. Please don't be assholes to each other.
If you're a new commenter, please review these so you will be well informed about the rules around these parts.
1. No slurs on children or the mentally disabled (the actually mentally disabled). This is well-established, assholes.
Yes, that means the hilarious -tard suffix is also not allowed. If you really need to make fun of intellectual disabilities, do it elsewhere.
2. No wishing or ideating on physical threats to those with whom you disagree (i.e. 'machinegunning' or hoping for their deaths in any other sense than that you hope they die lonely and alone ). This includes wishes for people to be raped in prison -- not only is that barbaric, it's also a huge cliché and we are tired of it. Yes, that includes veiled references to a bad person meeting their cellmate Bubba. Rape is evil, and we do not wish it on anyone, not even evil people.
3. Try not to be totally libelous.
4. If you wanna be disgusting pigs and talk about skullfucking your enemies, then your editrix, as a one-eyed man-king in the land of the blind, will not take offense. But it's pretty perilously fucking close to wishing rape on someone. Maybe think about that? Actually, we just won't stand for it.
5. Try not to be a bunch of goddamned misogynists. That includes calling rightwing women sluts or otherwise demeaning them solely as sexual figures. Attack their politics, not the fact that they're women. This includes posting Melania Trump modeling photos and saying "Look at that hoor!" And no more hilarious incest jokes about Ivanka Trump. They're basically a way of saying "Hurr hurr child rape is funny if we're talking about Donald Trump's family."
Also too, we no longer tolerate the casual use of "cunt" or "twat," because they're fucking misogynist. No, "twunt" is neither creative nor allowed either. All will automatically kick your comment to the moderation queue. "Asshole " applies quite nicely to all genders. Go with that, please.
Also, too, in addition, we don't do "(lady we don't like) is a dude" jokes here, because they're insulting to trans people. The entire premise of the joke is that there's something wrong or shameful about being trans, and that is not OK with Yr Wonkette.
6. There is NO Rule 6.
7. BEHAAAVE YOURSELVES! BEHAAAVE YOURSELVES! Abuse of your fellow commenters will not be tolerated. You can disagree, even be a bit rude, but please don't be complete assholes to each other. That includes continuing personal disagreements from one thread to another, needling another reader every time they make a comment, making unfounded accusations, piling on, and such. Is this a bit vague? Then err on the side of not being a jerk.
8. Sometimes someone who works here -- one of our moderators or perhaps the dogs -- will ban you or delete or edit your comment or laugh at you publicly, even though you didn't break a stated rule! That is because they're in charge here, and they're sick of your shit.
9.New commenterswill be subject to premoderation, meaning that their comments will go immediately to the moderation queue and will have to be approved by moderators before they show up. This is not a judgement on your character, just a way to reduce spam and trolling. When we're sure you're a good fit for our little mommyblog, recipe hub, and radical knitting circle, we'll clear you for unlimited commenting. Welcome! Much more on the premoderation feature here. Pre-moderation of new commenters has been suspended until Disqus figures out how to run the system without it interfering with existing commenters' ability to post comments. So likely, not ever.
10. No fundraising in the comments. There are many worthy causes out there, but the comments were getting clogged with far too many links to crowdfunding campaigns, and we are not able to check their legitimacy. If there's a special cause you think Wonkette might want to support, feel free to email Rebecca at-sign wonkette dot com to ask, and maybe we'll embrace it. The names of the major crowdsourcing sites are in the word filter, and could get your comment sent to moderation. Say "crowdfunding" instead of "GoFundMe" if you don't want your comment to go straight to moderation.
11. Please try to stay on topic and discuss the actual article. Off-topic comments should go in the Open Thread (last post of the day) or in the comments on Tabs. Repeated off-topic comments will get you the stink-eye.
OBEY THE LAWS, MINIONS, OR BE DEALT WITH WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE. But not Texas-style, as we are civilized.
Rebecca Schoenkopf
Editrix
Dok Zoom and Shypixel
Your Friendly Neghborhood Comments Moderators
[ Derpy Hooves image via Derpibooru.org, background image [modified] by Marufish , Creative Commons license 2.0. ]
[Updated 10/15/2021, with warning that "twunt" and -tard aren't acceptable either.]
Ooh shiny.
Jeeze, It's been 3 years since Ken gave over Wonkette to Rebecca. We need a nostalgic anniversary issue.