Have you missed Michele Bachmann and her tortured labyrinths of lugubrious logic since she dropped out of the presidential race, as we have? Do not worry, it’s not as if the babbling brook has gone dry; it is merely that no one is paying attention anymore. But they should! Because Michele Bachmann has a novel take on this whole birth control mandate controversy: this isn’t about the government peeing on the “religious freedom” of sweaty wingnuts so much as it is about the government trying to take control of a woman’s body away from her and tell her how many children she must have. Shall we strap in and see how Michele Bachmann arrived at her thesis?
Point: the government argues that making birth control more accessible by requiring insurers to cover it without a co-pay will help reduce unintended pregnancies, which cost a hell of a lot more than birth control.
COUNTERPOINT, MICHELE?
“Going with that logic, according to our own Health and Human Services Secretary, it isn’t far-fetched to think that the President of the United States could say, we need to save health care expenses — the federal government will only pay for one baby to be born in the hospital per family, or two babies to be born per family. That could happen. We think it couldn’t?”
So Michele Bachmann is in favor of taxpayers paying for people to have non-stop sex. There should be free and unlimited government health care for anyone who wants to have sex, as long as it results in babies. That’s what we got from her statement. (Insurance companies, on the other hand, are not supposed to pay for people to have non-stop sex, because this is Tyranny.) GO ON?
Co-host Amy Holmes then asked: “Congresswoman, are you suggesting that this administration, or a next administration, would actually advocate a one-child policy like Communist China?”
Bachmann responded: “What I’m saying is that now that we know the President of the United States unilaterally can tell insurance companies, you must offer the morning-after abortion pill, you must offer sterilizations, you must offer contraceptives free to the recipients of those products, because we tell you to — which means they’re effectively setting the price, as well — that says that whoever the health care dictator, could conceivably make that order, as well.
Ooh, some economics! The government is “setting the price” of contraception to …zero, by requiring insurers to fully cover contraception, which means that every lady ever will use it all the time because SHIT, FREE STUFF? Yeah, probably that is what will happen. The point is, forcing insurers to cover birth control without a co-pay is secretly anti-choice. [TPM]
{ 378 comments }
Is this a test to see how many rules we break?
It's like putting up a sign saying "DO NOT PRESS THIS BUTTON" above a big red button in a room full of five-year-olds.
But five year olds can read at a kindergarten level, which is higher than Bachmann.
Not the retar…
Never mind.
Stop being retarded, or will I have to skullfuck you?
Jack Stuef for President.
Fuck, just ban me now and get it over with.
Comment censored by Wonkette Purity Team
User has self-censored
You probably wouldn't upfist it anyway
I would comment, but what's the point anymore?
and her tortured labyrinths of lugubrious logic
Laudable language, he lavished.
~
Languidly.
Lasciviously, too. Also.
This is bad news for the Duggar family.
Sophie's Choice(s)
It's long past time that their tyranny is brought to an end. No single, nuclear family should be able to incorporate as a town.
They opened a Duggar Used Car Lot a mile from my office. Word. Will post clown car pix in a timely fashion, check back.
OMIGOD! Just this morning Obama forced me to use the free morning-after-pill, get sterilized for free, and THEN have one child for free. Miche1e's right!!
That is one magic uterus you have there.
Also one magic President, gettin' Stuff done.
Barack the Magic … ooops.
And immaculate contraption, if you will.
OMIGOD, MissTaken, I FORGOT to have a child and now how will I get my free one from the government? I believe I am being discriminated against because I am not a Muslin!!
Eat more fiber?
If the President sterilized Marcus, would Michele even notice?
Oh come on now! You know very well they haven't had any cuddletime together in decades. Marcus Bachmann(?)…. and all those foster kids(?)…great motivators for abstinance at the Bachmann compoud.
Shhhh, we're not allowed to libel any more. You have to pull a Fox Newsiac and begin all your accusations with "some people say."
For instance: "Some people say Marcus Bachmann hasn't touched a vagina since he was on his way out."
Ta-da! Culpability? What's that? We report, you decide!
On a sort of side topic, not really: "We report, you decide" is the biggest crock of shit ever in the history of crocks of shit and makes me blind with rage.
Ooooh….fun!
Let me try…
Rumor has it that Michele gets so angry at having to go anal with Marcus that she turns that anger against the world.
And the Wonkette buttsecks returns. Praise Jesus!
OT, but is your avatar from the '70s movie "Devil Doll"?
tessiee wins a free Zuni Warrior Doll!!
Now don't take that chain off!
No thanks, I'm still a-scared of ventriloquist's dummies.
"Shall we STRAP ON and see how Michele Bachmann arrived at her thesis?"
I thought that's how Michelle and Marcus do it, but gawd only knows how they 'produced' all those children (their 'real' ones, not the 'foster' kids they pimped out like welfare queens)
Depends. Would he do it with a blowtorch?
Oh editrix, Ms. editrix. Kristen is talking about children. You said we couldn't do that. I'm telling.
Whenever Michele Bachmann uses the construction "Going with that logic, . . . it isn’t far-fetched," she causes a tear in the space-time continuum.
Not to mention how many of my brain cells are murdered!
I was going to go with " that says that" – a huge leap of faith over logic. Ole Crazy Eyes went on to rant "…who[m]ever the health care dictator, could conceivably make that order, as well."
Wouldn't that be "inconceivably?"
They did pick up an odd signal at CERN… some sort of Bozon…
The Miggs' Bozon?
If ONLY she could cause a tear in her perineum!
A little school paste and we'll have that fixed right up.
I dearly hope and pray that the people of Minnesota will see fit not to reelect Bachmann. Has that guy with the elvish middle-earthy name said he'll run? I need to know where to direct my donation.
Oh that guy, what was his name? I recall it was amazing.
Elwyn Tinklenberg, I believe, seventh-level elven druid.
No fair, telling us we can't use the R – word and then following up with a story about Shelly!
Can we use Bachmannn as a synonym for the R word?
Great idea – problem solved!
What a total bachmann.
This shit is bachmanned.
Holy crap, they're all a clusterfuck of bachmanns.
I'm a volunteer at the Bachmann Olympics.
With as many spawn as she has, I bet there is a Bachmann Olympics.
First Prize is a week free from
exorcisms"play time."I especially like being an official at the Logic Long Jump.
Is that the one designed by the fine people at Bizarro World?…"Me go wards back…."
Never go full bachmann
And Marcus as a synonym for the s***fucked word? As in, "I Marcused a Bachmannnn"?
You need to convince Michele to set up a company that repairs damaged tarmac, then buy a house with a driveway that's full of holes and cracks and things, then get Michele's company to fix it, then have a friend to admire your newly resurfaced driveway so you can legitimately say "Yeah, it used to be terrible but fortunately Michele Bachmann's re-tarred it."
That was beautiful. Comment of the Week, this.
….*slow clap*
Huurrah!! (backs slowly away out of frame)…
*one person stands up applauding, then a few more, then a bunch more, then everybody, as in every cheesy sports movie ever*
Awesomeness!
Hey editrix! Not fair!
I bet she'd go for free Abilify or whatever anti-psychotic meds she is on, though. I have the feeling she runs out of them at the end of the month.
There you go, slurring the mentally disabled. You're just asking for a whipping from Mistress Becca.
I live in hope.
She needs to stop putting them between her knees. CLEARLY, they're not doing much good there.
Michele is remarkable.
I approve this euphemism.
She's god's precious little angel.
No she's not. Santorum has a copyright on that term.
She makes interesting points.
Just….remarkable…
Yes! Pants-on-head remarkable.
Never go full remarkable.
Bless her derp.
What happened to "special"?
Or, as we say in the blah community "Isn't she just…precious?"
Negropolis? Is that YOU?
"… it isn’t far-fetched to think that the President of the United States could say [only one baby per family]…."
I wonder if there's anything else far-fetched that could happen.
- Tax cuts for millionaires could create jobs
- Rush Limbaugh ever gets laid again
- President Michele Bachmann.
Requiring insurers to provide beneficiaries ACCESS to birth control does not violate any individual's rights. Requiring people like Michelle Bachmann and her supporters to take birth control against their will because they are too stupid to breed WOULD be a violation of individual rights, but they are making it an ever more tempting option.
one word, eugenics
"it isn’t far-fetched to think that the President of the United States could say, we need to save health care expenses — the federal government will only pay for one baby to be born in the hospital per family, or two babies to be born per family"
Um, actually, I think this is part of the dictionary definition of far – fetched…
Moran.
Here's what bugs teh CRAP out of me with her bullshit: Even assuming everything she says is factually correct, it still does NOT prevent people from having any number of babies born OUTSIDE te hospital or WIVOUT teh gubmint handouts (paying for two babies to be born per family) that she claims to be so very much against. AAAAUUUUGH, that woman, she makes my arsehole hurt, she's that stupid.
Pucker up, Michele.
No, not that end.
That reminds me of one of my favorite Futurama moments ever.
Fry is sick and sitting on the paper thing they give ya in the doctor's office, wearing a hospital gown.
Professor Farnsworth (holding a long tube): It appears that you may have intestinal parasites, so we're going to use this tube to do a scan. Open wide.
*Fry opens his mouth wide*
Prof. Farnsworth: Guess again.
No wonder I have been against this Republican idea. I didn't realize that HHS was stuffing birth control pills down my throat! Silly me.
Not just birth control pills but also the homosexualities!
I *knew* I caught that shit SOMEwheres.
I never realized behaving was this difficult.
I feel violated, by my inability to violate.
Difficult hell, it killed breitbart!
BEHAVE YOURSELF!!! BEEEEHAAAAVE YOURSELF!!! BEEEEEHAAAAAVE YOURSELF!!!!
STOP RAPING PEOPLE!
What about not raping people? Are you having trouble doing that too?
With Bachmann, the talking never stops. Llama, llama, llama.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbPDKHXWlLQ
Choot-spah libel !
Eh, llama drama.
The one-l lama
He's a priest
The two-l llama
He's a beast
And I will bet a silk pojama
Michele B's your three-l lllama.
Here, we can make our points without recourse to risky language: Bachmann makes Palin look rational, and makes Limbaugh look classy.
All we need to do is decide upon what the euphemisms mean, for example, which Palin do I mean?
The smart one.
No such thing
It's all relative.
I'll take "What's the best way to describe a Wasilla Wedding?" for 500, Alex.
It's all relative
I saw what you did there, and salute it.
I….just….I….can't…arrrrggghhh!
This is an outrage!
Next thing you know we won't even be able to tell stupid Polack jokes!
What about Jackson Pollack jokes?
Too messy.
Drip.
Comment deleted because Bite Me, that's why,
You just made me hungry.
I am sorry, am I missing something? Do Republicans actually want health insurance companies to not cover health insurance costs.
Asking job creators to do their jobs will destroy jobs in America.
Yes.
Women's health isn't health; it's being a slut.
Surely you mean a woman of ill-repute, perhaps a "Round Heel", the word Rush Limbaugh was taught to use by his sainted mother.
"Slutting is fun!" — Mystery Science Theater 3000
[...] the word Rush Limbaugh was taught to use by his
saintedtainted mother.FIFY, NNTT
Not if it involves icky, sticky, messy ladyparts, hell, no.
When her lips move, all I hear is Bzzzzzz, something something, Bzzzzzzz.. Sorry fell asleep.
No, no, no – you're confusing oneL with that other Minnie-sotan Republican, Tim Pawlenzzzzzzzzzzz.
*Which* lips? Because with Marcus being as attentive as he is, Michele might well have recourse to battery-operated substitutes, if you get my drift. And I b'leev you do.
Oh how I've miss the comedy stylings of Mz Bachmann. Santorum is OK, if a little too mean spirited, but Michelle just can't be topped for that wide eyed, devoid of reason, bat-shit crazy.
She does take guano-psychosis to another level.
bat-shit libel!
It's entirely possible that she's the only well-known, professional Conservative to actually believe all the BS they spread. Maybe to all the rest it's just a gig, a schtick to part the Rubes from their coin. Then again, my theory may just be developmentally- challenged cranial intercourse…
I just want someone — ANYone — to explain to me how she ever passed the Bar.
Nevermind the fact that anthropological evidence shows that two children optimizes familial embodied capital in American society and is thus the sanest number of children to have REGARDLESS (Albuquerque men’s study if you want the source (no I don’t have a link)), I would be okay with her crazy theory being right if it limits the number of broodlings people like Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin can have.
First they came for Michele Bachmann…
and I said "Hey, let me help you with those bags."
and I said "make sure you tie that straight jacket tight and now go with the nice me dressed in white"
First I came for Michelle Bachmann….you know what I mean?
Wo/Man after my own heart.
Certainly. You take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban.
I have never seen anyone as cognitively bogged down as this.
See voters of Minnesota.
I grew up surrounded by Cognitive Bogdown in Western Pennsylvania (aka Santorum Country), so I can actually receive meaning from this garbled speech. Not any meaning worth repeating, though.
Cognitive Bogdown would be a good name for a 40-resident town in, say, Tennessee that inexplicably gets headlined on CNN every 4 years, because it returns the first primary results for the whole state.
I'll drink to that.
Oh, boy. "cognitive bogdown" is the new meme.
I always wanted to make a meme. Sad, eh?—
the federal government will only pay for one baby to be born in the hospital per family
Does the federal government do that now, or are you perhaps confusing it with an insurance company, Shelly?
People can just have their babies in fields, like the Founders.
Ditches, on the side of the road! Like my grandmother!! [onion on my belt, mumble mumble]
Who do you think will be the first Wonketeer to get hit with the ban hammer?
Do you see Barb around any more? Nuff said.
Ho shi–
Minh?
You really bought that story about Frothy's – ahem – "trip to Australia".
Michael Jordan LIBEL!!!!
OI! I'm HERE!
Well, kind of. I mean I'm THERE, but
Oh, fuckit.
Hitler?
Someone already was, in the other post.
SmokeFilledRoommate got the axe.
wtf?
It was an axing attempt, but it seems like she survived.
She's not dead yet!
She's just pining for the fnords.
But she does have beautiful plumage.
Upfisted for fnords.
She's not fooling anyone, you know.
This commentor has been deleted by the administrator.
WUT?
The administration can also shut down US airspace at any time, so it could probably force us all to fly to Detroit tomorrow, too. It could happen!!!
KBJ: In case you missed it, I responded to your "AHEM." from last night's liveblog.
Shit, I'm blushing.
YO! Can we get some EMS up in here?!
ooooooooo, good one…..I'm gonna start a notepad file
Rampaging Endlessly Through American Reproductive
DecisionsDialog.(I just like the new way better)
Rampaging Endlessly? It's actually only a short bus trip.
Hee, hee. I get it.
If the editrix ever figures out how to ban people, you may be in trouble.
Let 'er. If this be snark, make the most of it.
—
Michele is still traumatized from her drunken-stepfather moment with Paul Wolfowitz. Dick Cheney. Never mind.
So remind me again, which is Michele? The one with the big ears and bridle?
it isn't far-fetched to think that the President of the United States could say, we need to save health care expenses —the federal government will only pay for one baby to be born in the hospital per family, or two babies to be born per family
Actually it does seem pretty far fetched that you could save health care expenses by the government only paying for one or two babies to be born in the hospital, given that the federal government doesn't pay for any babies to be born in the hospital now.
(Excepting service members and veterans, I suppose, the very poor, and supernaturally fertile seniors. Oh, and of course Congresspeople, with that sweet government-funded health care that they never seem to get around to dumping in favor of that purportedly far better free enterprise flavor. )
Edit: Though the headline is a bit misleading. Bachmann doesn't say anything specifically about the "One Child" policy. The interviewer tries to bait her into saying something dumb, and Michele obliges, but by spinning out a word salad rather than by addressing Asian population control efforts.
The government actually shells out an estimated $11 billion a year for unintended pregnancies, and 64 percent of all births from unintended pregnancies are publicly funded.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/05/19/us-preg…
Ah, quality info there – thanks. So apparently paying for birth control would make sense as a deficit reduction measure. You could buy a lot of birth control for $11 bil., with some serious coin left over.
Look, Republicans, entertain your forced birth fantasies all you want: Just don't ask the rest of us to pay for them!!!
A citation?????
Things
Have
Changed.
But do they get free yellow shirts?
Nope. Brown.
Only the Asian ones.
Oh Miche1e, you're such a foink*! There, I said it.
*the noun, not the verb, editor dearest~
“Going with that logic,"
I'm still trying to think of a time that Michele has 'gone with logic' and yet I continue to fail miserably.
Shall we strap
inon and see how Michele Bachmann arrived at herthesishoneymoon?Under the new draconian Wonkette rules, I find that all's I can say is, "Michele Bachmann is a very lovely woman."
New rules? When did this happen? : ( I blame Obama.
Bless her heart.
Oh, rubbish. Michele Bachmann is a TROGLODYTE!!
Wise-guy, eh? Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
That's it, young lady; to the salt mines with you.
You wouldn't want to kiss my mother with ANY kinda mouth, being as she's dead and mostly in a ceramic container. Ash is very drying for the lips.
Young lady? WHERE? (Looks around)
BachMadLibs!
The Government has the power to _(something that Actually Is A Thing)_, so it isn't far-fetched to think that the President could say we all have to _(Batshit Insane Hyperbole)_
1) declare war
2) invade Poland
sorry. read one too many freeper recaps lately…
1) Levy taxes
2) Pose nude for kicks
This account has been disabled by the administrator.
Farewell, my foul-mouthed friend.
Don't sweat it, he just commented on another thread.
Wait, is this for real real, or for play play?
Hitler, is that you?
Good one!
Sic semper Extemporanus?
Noooooooo.I may have to differently-able myself now.
It's OK, he's not gone yet. At least I don't think so.
Hey hey, 3 more are up. You can look!
Thank you!
Oh Thank God.
This is Crazy!!1¡
Thus it ends.. Atque in perpetuum, Wonkette, ave atque vale.
Alea jacta est, also too.
Aqua Buddha Vervet.
I don't smell the usual odor of a fallen banhammer….the smell of shattered cheetos, arugula, jager, and fecklessness.
Dog damnit. Now that's she's no longer running for president Michele is back in Minnesota. Any states out there in need of a village idiot, dingbat or a fucking douche bag? Anyone?
in the future, Marcus will be like a witch hunter. Gayfinder General. they'll travel from town to town bilking the citizenry out of their commemorative Glenn Beck gold ingots or whatever for the service of removing all of the gays.
wait.
that's already kinda been happening, hasn't it?
There are certain segments of the population that we are no allowed to compare Michele to because it would denigrate those segments. Got it.
at least there is still a world filled with dumb inanimate objects. door knobs. fence posts. picture frames. laundry balls.
Bags of hammers…
Michele has this dream every night in which men in white suits appear and she sings, “They’re coming to take me away haha, They’re coming to take me away hoho.” Yet, she somehow avoids being caught in the net only to wake up and find Obama forcing his government agenda down her throat..
The same thing happened with incandescent light bulbs.
And leaded gasoline.
and DDT
And HD television.
Dat gubmint dun tuk away aur analog teevee signal!
Let's face it, we shouldn't provide health care of any sort, as it just encourages people to keep living and paying taxes which fund the government.
Ultimately, what you want is a government so small that you can drown someone in a bathtub.
Wait, is that over the line?
It's not over the line – it's enhanced
interrogationcommenting.All I know is, that Llama is thinking: "Only in your dreams, fruitcake…." Either that or: "The force is wrong in this one…"
Or maybe "Lady, I don't know who you think I am, but my name is not `Dali'. "
It isn't far-fetched. It is the FAR-FETCHIEST.
Okay, if all of my favorite commenters are going to be banned, I've got no reason to come here anymore. Happy Trails, my friends.
Can't one of these journalists just suddenly pull out any of the many studies showing that access to contraception is one of the surest predictors of lower abortion and infant mortality rates? I'd pay to see Michele Bachmann's face.
Oh who'm I kidding. No I wouldn't. Heck, I wouldn't even want my insurance to cover that.
See now I really want to make a comment about how Michele looks like she's deep throating an invisible hot dog when she looks at that… llama? And how Marcus's probably over to the side, just out of camera range, squeeing and clapping his hands. But new-Ken said we can't make fun of the… errm, you-knows anymore.
"new-Ken"??? That is so sexist! We are supposed to call her Ken-ess.
The Drat Reeds?
"The President of the United States could say, we need to save health care expenses — the federal government will only pay for one baby to be born in the hospital per family, or two babies to be born per family. That could happen."
Well, the President can stand around saying whatever the fuck he wants – she DOES know that the legislature would then have to pass a law to that effect, no?
How would she know that? She's only IN the legislature.
Oh, true. Forest for the trees and all that.
I'd also like to point out that the federal government doesn't currently actually pay for babies to be born in hospitals, so this would be a general improvement.
See KBJ's link to article showing that the Fed currently pays $11 BILLION for babbies to be born in horse spittlez, especially the ones that result from teh failure of birf control.
It's all so complicated – who could ever explain how laws are made?
Poor Michele. Just uses the same template she used for arguing about lightbulbs to claim the government is coming to get your children….or sperms… or eggs or …ugh!
Just ask her anything on earth and she'll say OBAMA something…
Can "lugubrious" modify "logic"? I'm doubtful.
An endangered species meets an endangering specimen.
What's going on here? First time I see an account being disabled by the adm.!! Should the wonketteratti go underground now, like the original Christians in Rome?
Maybe we need one of those hacker organizations, like Wonkileaks, or Lulz(butt)secs
Baloon Juice.
Needz moar sensorship!
Dibs on the secret gnostic orgies!
I don't think the admin actually banhammered Extem. I think Extem did that himself for larfs. Because you can still upfist him.
Ms. No Understandee Context seems to think in false equivalencies 1.2 Billion Chinese = 330 Million US Americans.
They do in mass, but that's not the point.
Ah, the slippery slope! If I'm forced to buy health insurance then it's possible the government will force me to buy wild donkeys that live on BLM land.
And donkeys make pretty fine prosciutto!
Dear god, you might well be correct. She's THAT discombobuwhatevered.
Mandating unnecessary ultrasounds, however, that's for freedom.
Because stinky sticky messy LAYDparts.
"What I'm saying is…." exactly what the interviewer said you were saying. Why can't crazy demagogues just answer with a simple "yes" or "no"?
She's dumber than a fungus.
Mushroom libel!
Hey…Barb isn't really ban hammered, is she. That would be…unfortunate.
Seriously, though, is she having lady parts removed again or something?
Haven'y you figured it out? Barb, Wonkette Jr. Ken Layne, Rebecca Schoenkopf, all just figments of a derange computer.
Or perhaps they are alternate personalities communicating with you. All of us are.
We're your friends, we're not like the others.
Identity LIBEL!!! *
* Yes, I'm beating this to death.
Follow the white rabbit.
Damn…I should have taken the red pill…or was that blue? I can never get it right.
Nope. She's finally all healed and has gone out dinnering and dancinging with her sweet man, and is planning to run off on holidaze and stuff, although I'm pretty sure she hasn't left yet. Probly just busy packing for her trip, or dealing with her own stuff right now. Her two girls are about to have baybeez also too. Lots for a busy layd 2 do.
Actually, I always thought "Barb" was Breitbart's alter-ego, and he came here to mock himself… and I was proved incorrect when "Barb" kept posting after Breitbart took his dirt/pavement nap… unless… Breitbart isn't dead!
SHOWZ US THE DEATH CERTIFCATZ!!1!!!I! LONG FORM!!
Toxicology test results in two weeks, dood.
As far as I can tell Barb has just flounced of her own volition.
She always gets quiet this time of night when Jeff gets home and she feels compelled to fuck his brains out, for freedom.
I think (hope) she'll be back in due course.
Also commiegirl (Rebecca) left a message to SmokeFilledRoomate in the rules thread. Laying off the R-word jokes is all she seems to want, which sounds reasonable to me.
There's a rules thread?
Reasonable? You want reasonable? THIS IS WONKETTE, GODAMMIT!
I think you meant to say it thusly…
SNARKNESS? THIS.IS.WONKETTE!
What you said.
No, she is NOT. Barb is a layd and despite the occasional fit of temper, has rarely said anything meriting teh banhammer. If Barb was incurring banhammering, I'd'a been LONG GONE, given that I'm one of the worst offenders.
puffs pipe, adjusts cravat, looks at camera
you are, rather. it's why we like you.
And here I was all thinking it was my wit and charm.
Is this our Kristallnacht? please tell my Wonkette children I probably drank as much as they did.
This makes about as much sense as two Ls in Llama and one L in Michele.
Yep, mommy blog. Might as well give up running and go to Carousel.
I love you for that reference.
Can "Barb" just start her own site?
I would love to see nothing more. But then how would she get her "First!!" fix?
Help me out, folks. Believe it or not, I'm still not sure what banhammmered means. Is that gone for good or just something like a timeout?
I have also seen several "This account has been disabled by the administrator".
Again, permanent or some time to think?
Cuz, if it's permanent, fuck that noise. Or, in other words, orbitally pleasure that noise. I'll go back to yelling political screeds at my cat.
In other other words…
Regulatory Excess Torments Associated Reasoned Discourse.
In the years I've been here (and, yes, it is scary I can say that), the only people I have seen banned are over the top trolls, idiots, and spam. As for "This account" if you can still comment to the post, I believe that is a joke We have had runs of these rules before, and they are well meaning, but I think if you use your common sense, don't liable, murderous or stupid, nothing will happen.
Newell did one of these about four years ago, and I think I managed to break every rule in my reply. Yet I'm still here. So it is not like they just totally randomly This Reply disabled by the Administrator.
Comforting…but I'm still watchin'.
"Banhammered" was what happened when certain posters tipped themselves completely off the edge of relevancy – last time I saw it used was when certain people (who STILL will-not-be-named) were taking over the entire site on weekends and having personal chats about what they fed their cat/dog/child for lunch, and what the weather was looking like that afternoon. Permanent loss of posting privileges (at least under the offending moniker).
You know, I spend way too much time online, anyway.
Look, Tommy, just lay off the stories about your cat and we're cool.
Promise!
To save money can they combine the Death Panels with the Child Panels?
She is ….uh …..a f-…….cu–…..god dammit! I got nothing!
Birth control is Hitler.
She's a #@!%&*%$ *#@$.
This post has been self-censored for your convenience.
"Comment deleted…. "
Wow! and that was totally innocuous….compared to my usual stuff.
'gainst candidates anally clogged
and trolls irretrievable fogged
We've doled out the snark 'gainst the slow falling dark
Lest we become mentally bogged.
BTW if we are no longer allowed to challenge the mental stability of Ms. Bachmann, what is the point of posting anything about her at all?
Shorter: Bachmann is pro-choice.
So…
*scuffles toe of shoe on ground*
You're all looking very nice.
Hope this evening finds you well.
OK, then; carry on.
The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain.
*pulls collar of trenchcoat up and forward to cover face*
The eagle flies at midnight.
Swordfi………..oh, wait.
Too obtuse? It was supposed to be a comment about Henry Higgins, Eliza Doolittle, and the correct kind of communication.
Off topic, but I am watching Rachel Maddow and wondering how bad the RNC wants to go back to winner-take-all primaries.
did you read that ryan lizza new yorker article? exactly the point he makes.
and i wonder how warm and fuzzy they're feeling about citizen's united right about now as well?
No, but I will.
The plan is to enforce the one Child Rule only for Catholics and Baptists. The rest of us can have as many children as we want.
Crap, the country will be taken over by the Mormons. (Check spelling before deleting).
"the President of the United States could say, we need to save health care expenses — the federal government will only pay for one baby to be born in the hospital per family, or two babies to be born per family."
How about if they only told the brownz that? Would that be OK?
Congresswoman Crazyeyes still not making any sense whatsoever. Comforting to know some things never change, like her granny-panties.
Why do conservatives want employers to be able to put their religion between you and your doctor?
Because "religious freedom" is a sacred issue, unlike "being a misogynistic shitbag".
I LOVE hearing logic explained by people who believe in a virgin birth and a resurrection from the dead.
Nyah Nyah. My magic friend in the sky is better than your magic friend in the sky. So there!
I am sad about the loss of Extemporanus….who will be next?
I believe that may have been a meta-commentary on his part. He may just be resting.
Or pinin' for the fjords. Lovely plumage.
I just fisted him. Kid's still alive.
And the icing on the gravy?
the ad on this page is for Domino's, a/k/a "right to life pizza".
Upfist purely for "icing on the gravy". I will file that one with "shooting fish off a log".
The Spare refers to certain people as "not the sharpest spoon(s) in the drawer." Should come in handy/keep the banhammer away.
Oh god! I just ate one. I hope those were anchovies. I thought I saw little arms.
First they came for the snark and I said nothing.
It's okay MK, just hoping we don't have to stoop to
WauwatosaBrookfieldOconomowoc snark.Q: How many Oconomowoc townies go to Coonie High?
A: None, they all go to Country Day.
Oh, Christ, I'm on my way out, and a SE Wisky joke.
can do moar
There's too many comments to know if anyone's already made this point, but really; how the hell does Bachmann compare offering more options for birth control to China's one child policy? That involves the government forcing women to have abortions against their will, which is morally the exact same thing as the policy she supports of having the government prevent women from having abortions against their will. Fuck.
Michelle was just rambling until Amy Holmes asked the question about "one-child policy like Communist China." Then Michelle's little parakeet brain lit up and she parachuted into crazy land.
Well, see, the government is forcing unwilling Catholics to use birth control by offering it as an option, as part of an effort to establish a base-line standard of health insurance across the board, in an attempt to somehow rein in healthcare costs. Right Wing logic dictates that if the government can Give you something, they can also Take it Away, and then where would you be? Right back at square one where the Right Wing wants you to be in the first place, while they destroy higher education for liberty, erode women's rights for equality (it's a start), demolish the minimum wage for economic freedom and put the kids to work to give them a leg up.
Also, there's a Black guy in the White House.
i posted this to barachmyworld too but the ryan lizza new yorker article (re: the repubs and primaries and an out of control fringe) is pretty sweet.
Not even a little bit.
EDIT: I take back my original screed. I've gone to read the new "rules", and had originally thought that it was only against using the R-word, and was going to say that we lived without it for some time, so that didn't bother me, a bit. I see, now, that it's a bit more extreme than that, a bit too restrictive if you ask me, particularly the parts about violence and libel and vulgarity. There are plenty of sites that couldn't handle such things. Wonkette isn't among them. We are big boys and big girls and deserve to be treated as such by our overlord.
My Very Dearest Becca Pretty-Head, you have a genuine revolt on your hands. Us Wonketteers are like cats; you will not herd us.
Ooooh, careful, when she gets steamed up she starts up with the name-calling! She has already labelled me boring, a brat, and a twat (in the new civility, those are apparently okay.)
Ooh, I like what you did with your boardname. I'm thinking about going with "Machine Gun Flagass."
Ban me, if ye must. But, I have to say it… Michele Bachman? You are so Rated Red.
Just don't suggest Redrum and I think you'll stay under the radar.
I've never had red rum…but Coke and Bacardi colors it green
Red rum, is that from Cuba?
Dumb as a bag of visegrips.
Numb as a pounded thumb.
Thick as two short bricks.
batshit insane is NOT the same thing as mentally disabled, people.
i have a handicapped brother. michele is batshit insane.
jeesh.
WTF is this, I can’t upfist anybody. Is ID ded alreddy?
I will not say bad things.
You have to write it 100 times, in blood.
You can not trick me into saying bad things.
You never do. Not easy for a man with a cat for a hat.
That lady is rather misguided.
How did Michelle do on Stupid Soup Day? I heard she made cream of pineapple barley.
A private insurance company offering anything for "free" is the equivalent of _____________________.
suggested answers:
Rush Limbaugh apologizing for being a wretched misogynist
Sarah Palin becoming a Rhodes scholar
Becky or Kirsten accepting my hand in marriage (no prenups!)
Andrew Breitbart ghost-blogging for Wonkette (now without edits!)
Barry finally admitting to _____________________
Totally OT, but this is both crazy and cool. It's a guy wearing one of those madd squirrel skydiving suits and leaping off somewhere high in the alps.
Wait, you mean Swiss people can fly? Fuck me, I'm "of Swiss extraction." I didn't know that I had that secret super power!! Think I'll go jump off the Hemisfair Tower this afternoon and get in on some of that sweet flying action.
“Going with that logic, according to our own Health and Human Services Secretary, it isn’t far-fetched to think that the President of the United States could say, we need to save health care expenses — the federal government will only pay for one baby to be born in the hospital per family, or two babies to be born per family. That could happen. We think it couldn’t?”
According to Bachmann's "logic", letting Bachmann remain outside a mental facility might lead to an invasion from Outer Space.
I gave all my money to Cats and now Pigs need my help too!
Pigs are people too, Senor Wildcat.
Boy, that XXX, she's just XXX up in that XXX, like a XXX-cracking, eye-XXX dingbat waving a XXX-magnum in the XXX and spewing red-hot XXX frying XXX in the barnyard!
It is not too far fetched to think that Barry might whip out his big, black dick on the oval office balcony and piss all over the fucking rose garden, for environmentalism.
(this is a test)
She is sweet, llama-tongued reason itself.
If there is anyone around and you're just sitting there doing nothing, you might want to check out this link.
It's to a web cam sitting next to the Platte River near Kearney Nebraska. This is where all the Sandhill Cranes are right now. They stay in the River at night and they should be exploding off into the cornfields anytime (Where they spend all day eating and socializing). There are probably a few 100,000 thousand there right now. It's just a few minutes away from sunrise. Turn up the volume a little because you can here them. They are everywhere!
It's a wondrous sight. http://www.rowesanctuary.org/crane%20cam.htm
Cool-thanks.
It's amazing. Not only are there about 800,000 Cranes that come through, but Millions of Snow Geese, White-fronted Geese, Pintails, Blue geese Ross's Geese, Canada Geese and Cackiling Geese. The noise is actually deafening.
Too bad they're gonna have to move- pipeline's coming through!
Not through there. These guys stay on a 40 mile stretch on the river between Grand Island and Kearney.
There they go. Look at all of them!
I live on the water here in Madison, and yesterday morn I was literally woken by a Trumpeter Swan. They can get really annoying at times, and hilarious cause they refuse to move when my car is headed right towards them (evidently, they opted out of the whole squirrel negotiations) Anyways, It was nice to hear them back,
"That could happen."
Hagahaha. Yeah, right…
Quod erat demonstrandum… in vicissim.
I don't know what's libel and what isn't. Plus, I'm too lazy to research it.
If I call Bachmann a horse's ass is that banny?
The most important thing to remember about libel and slander is that truth is an absolute defense.
So, I think you're fine.
This Impure Thought has been deleted by the administrator's evil henchperson residing in the Wonkette Rape Room with the Gimp.
Word bubble over Shelly's head: "Can I possibly make my face more ugly? How about this, big boy?"
Isn't that
specialbachmann!She doesn't have that many spawn. Most were borrowed from the government to earn cash prior to Marcus developing his Get Paid Monniez to Cure the Ghey® scheme.
Poor Professor Backwards, No one understood his desperate cries of "Pleh! Pleh!"
I hear ya, that Chuckie dude gave me nightmares!
Me too! To this day I'm afraid of Dan Quayle.
Nay! Yer making me hoarse!
No, thank you! I answered your question and check out the Snow Geese and the two headed Crane shot as well.
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