speaking of them

Robert F. Kennedy Jr: ‘Speaking Of Prostitutes…’

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (SO MANY-BRANCHÈD, THE TREE OF CAMELOT) has, oh dear, it turns out that men everywhere, regardless of chad preference, enjoy slandering as well as utilizing the adult enjoyment industry. Let’s try this again anew. RFK Jr, who works for the NRDC and is like a river god or river horse or something, by trade, dunno, the background of his Twitter profile is about rivers, on Tuesday afternoon decided to lasso the Rush Limbaugh catastrophe-miracle for his very own purposes by calling Republican Senator James Inhofe of Oklahoma a “prostitute” and, for good measure, a “call girl.” Fox Constitutional News’s response to this is to ask, “Will Media Be Outraged?” The answer is of course no, because this still and hopefully forever undeleted tweet is witty, metaphorical and accurate, except, well, apologies to the adult enjoyment industry.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who is not that young chap running for Congress, but is rather slightly outside the government while still being inextricably bound to it for purposes of productive Earth-touting anger, has opened the door to an explanation of who the heck Sen. Inhofe is, in case you don’t know. As you can see Inhofe apparently wants to “kill fuel economy,” which is plainly idiotic, because everyone needs to drive hideous, silent but not deadly Prii. But Inhofe is in bed with the adult fuel industry and can’t get out because it is a loft bed, suspended above a pit of lava in Hell.

Given that RFK’s tweet employed a figurative rather than literal use of the words “prostitute” and “call girl” (liberals do it better, and by “it” we mean thinking), let’s move on and figure out why Inhofe is such a shuh-TEED.

WELL! It’s because he wrote a letter to the EPA saying that its fuel economy mandates are “reckless.” WHAT IS WRONG WITH RULES? YOU STUPID MAN?

ABC News also points out that Living Male Kennedy Family Member #2382101035 was on Obama’s shortlist to head the EPA, so he is obviously bitter and is trying to make things happen within the EPA from without. Good luck, guy. We mean it. Luck is the only way anything happens. And sex. Since the tweet, RFK Jr has followed up with another two, defending himself:

And then…

Hopefully this last is a rhetorical tweet otherwise his twitter might break from the force of a thousand inarticulate articulations of how oil is nice and fun. [Ewwww/ABC News]

About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville
What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

79 comments

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      I can't remember who it was that said Paris is the kind of city where no woman was too old or too ugly to make a living as a prostitute. Ditto US Congress.

      1. ttommyunger

        We usually deal with Beer Goggles. In D.C. they also have Greed Goggles and Desperation Goggles.

      1. ttommyunger

        Hangs down like a wet peacoat sleeve…..apologies to our Naval Veterans across the seven seas.

  1. Generation[redacted]

    That's offensive. Sen Inhofe is taking big oil money to treat his ovarian cysts!

  2. Terry

    RFK, Jr, still hasn't really apologized for pushing that false link between childhood vaccines and autism. Until he fully apologizes, there ain't much he has to say that I want to hear.

    1. An_Outhouse

      He was big supporter of fracking too until he actually started informing himself. Kennedy's have a habit of premature emission.

  3. memzilla

    Q: "What do you call a politician — democrat or republican — who sells the public interest for money?"

    A: Someone who has Charles and David Koch's cell phone numbers.

  4. DaRooster

    If you are taking money (bwahahah… lots and lots of money) and there is fucking involved (my country)… then you are a prostitute.

  5. DaRooster

    "Is there anyone who thinks that the enormous power wielded by Big Oil in Congress is good for our democracy?"

    No but it is good for their "whateverthefuckitis."

  6. edgydrifter

    Calling someone paid to cram his flaccid pud into a barrel of light sweet crude a prostitute may be technically accurate, but it is deeply offensive to dedicated human sex-trade workers, too.

  7. prommie

    I will take "analogies, false" for $1000, Alex.

    You know, the ability to make accurate analogies is the essence of intelligence, it is what allows us to anticipate the future based on our experiences in the past. It is no wonder, therefore, that conservatives just can't do it to save their lives.

  8. memzilla

    "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
    – Mark Twain

  9. Toomush_Infer

    What's the big deal? – by taking oily money, Sen. Inhofe is just saving on K-Y Jelly…..

  10. actor212

    You know how some madames always have that one hooker she keeps hidden away for when a particularly nasty customer comes walking through the door?

    Oh wait, am I the only one who's met her?

    1. ttommyunger

      Nope, I think I turned Inhofe down in l959 at the Green Gables, Nashville, TN. I got a better looking one (and crabs) and my buddy in the next room who wound up with Inhofe got the Clapp.

  11. Data Exactly

    The Ordained Holy Clericle of Fox Constitutional News and Affairs Division holds laymen Robert F. Kennedy, Junior in contempt — IN CONTEMPT!!! for this outlandish and demeaning verbal denunciation on the innocent Senator Inahofe. Prosecution hearings will be held in Autumn. May god have mercy on your soul, Kennedy.

  12. x111e7thst

    I always thought of Inhofe as Big Oil's bitch. Now I see how limited my thinking was.

  13. An_Outhouse

    I don't think Inhofe will be offended considering the language that was used. Now if he called him a harlot or a tart that would be different.

  14. SorosBot

    Oh for fuck's sake, Fox; it's the implication that any woman who enjoys sex is a "slut" and a "prostitute" and should be insulted and shamed that was offensive, not the use of the words themselves.

  15. Mr Pre-Press

    Inhofe is custodian of the Nation's Personal Lubricant Strategic Reserves, and should be respected as such.

  16. Exhausted66

    Countdown to the right's mpg reference on cars driving into Chappaquiddick in 3…2…

  17. FakaktaSouth

    I sickly enjoy seeing and identifying the creatures that take money from the oil demons to say their crazy, obvious, terrible propaganda. I know this makes me a tidge masochistic, but I can't help it. I am fascinated by what amoral fuckwit whores look like in the wild.

  18. Goonemeritus

    "To my critics: What do you call a politician — democrat or republican — who sells the public interest for money?"

    The norm.

  19. SayItWithWookies

    Inhoffe isn't really a prostitute — he would sell out the public interest for fuckin' free if he didn't feel he'd offend the oil companies by refusing their customary gratuity.

  20. WhatTheHeck

    A public figure as apposed to a private person.
    Its best left to the media to decide who’s who.
    They know best. As always.

  21. Sassomatic

    What do you call a politician — democrat or republican — who sells the public interest for money?

    A Companion?

  22. ph7

    Ask not what a prostitute will do for money, ask what Ask not what Big Oil will do for Inhofe; ask what Inhofe will do for Big Oil.

  23. PuckStopsHere

    Obama places call to Inhofe to see if he's okay after being called a slut and a whore by JFK jr in: 3,000,000,000…299,999,999,999…2,999,999,998 2,999,999,997….

  24. LettucePrey

    Isn't this douche bedfellows with Jenny McCarthy, who thinks vaccines cause autism? Yeah, this guy's got credibility!

    1. GOPCrusher

      You mean you don't take scientific and medical advice from big titted former Playmates?

  25. Doktor Zoom

    Dear Mr. Kennedy,

    The halfwits at Freerepublic.com would like to thank you for giving the gift of false equivalency, and also want to take this opportunity to bloviate about Chappaquiddick, the Lone Gunman, and the 60's in general.

  26. RedneckMuslin

    Well, Bobby, Inhofe is a dick but you got some skeletons in your closet so it's not like we're listening to ya. We need another Kennedy like we need a hole in the head.

    What? Too soon?

  27. hagajim

    I believe there are 535 prostitutes in Washington – and that doesn't count the Georgetown student (who obviously isn't)…or the real working girls.

  28. mavenmaven

    Now Fox will continue to demand at every moment that Obama call Inhofe to apologize, just like he did for Sandra Fluke. I can already see that face Megyn Kelly makes…

  29. glamourdammerung

    This guy sounds like a moron, to be charitable.

    Though I am looking forward to how this is "just like Hitler" while the general comments from the Party of Limbaugh about Sandra Fluke are perfectly acceptable.

  30. Not_So_Much

    Is this the Kennedy with the odd voice? He sounds better on Twatter — I approve.

    1. 40 or 50 % McShineys

      "Come here, Norman. Hurry up. The loons! The loons! They're welcoming us back."

  31. Guppy

    "RFK Jr. (…) is like a (…) river horse."

    Hippopotami demand Wonkette's apology! Hippo libel!

  32. Toomush_Infer

    I still want to know what insurance pool has to bear the risk weight of Limbaugh….shouldn't his Limpbaughness be excluded on moral, or at least, religious econonomic grounds …

  33. Callyson

    RFK Jr owes an apology to prostitutes everywhere. I can't say I've ever utilized their services, but my friends who confess to having done so all say that these individuals provide a valuable service, which is more than can be said for Inhofe.

  34. pinkocommi

    RFK Jr owes an apology to prostitutes everywhere because prostitutes only fuck those who want to be fucked, whereas Inhofe fucks us all no matter how much we want him to stop.

  35. Antispandex

    "….What do you call a politician — democrat or republican — who sells the public interest for money?"

    Bush?

  36. Numbat_Dundee

    There's a deep core of misogyny in the Kennedy clan, confirmed by the offensive way that this one has insulted call girls everywhere by comparing them to Republican Senators.

  37. deanbooth

    liberals do it better, and by “it” we mean thinking

    Rush once said "A liberal is someone who argues with himself." Best definition of "thinking" I've ever heard.

Comments are closed.