Human Soba Noodle Richard Cohen Pees On Ghost Andrew Breitbart

Richard Cohen, rapping colonel.Opening his “valuable” Washington Post opinion page real estate with a tantalizing promise to speak ill of the dead, Colonel Sanders impersonator and usually vapid old coot Richard Cohen sort of delivers!

It is not nice to speak ill of the dead, my mother once told me. But it is okay, I think, to speak ill of those who praise the dead when the deceased was best known for sliming a well-intentioned and wholly commendable public servant or for exposing a politician who had already exposed himself.

Nobody really believes that Cohen’s mother said any such thing, because nobody ever says that (do they?) but it is nice of Cohen to ground his public grave-pissing in brave opposition to a moral claim! But why-for so very heated and uncollegial with the poor late Mr. Breitbart? Do tell, Richard! Do tell!

Every journalist knows the expression “too good to be true.” But for Breitbart, the Sherrod story was too good not to be true. It had to be true. She was exactly the kind of person that a left-wing, socialist, Muslim president like Barack Hussein Obama would like to appoint to high federal office. Call Breitbart’s tactics what you will, it wasn’t journalism.

Well well well, look at Richard Cohen! Apparently he thinks it is Open Try-Out Season at Your Wonkette, meow!
Perhaps if Andrew Breitbart were a real journalist instead of a louche blogger, Richard Cohen might have presented his objections in a more Civil and Genial manner. But since we are in basic total agreement, we will take a page from poor martyred Rush Limbaugh, who can use all the help he can get, and merely say, “Ditto.” So “Ditto, Richard Cohen!” Like so. [Washington Post]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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      1. Nothingisamiss

        Putin finally did something I agree with. (Well, that and invite Paul McCartney to red square.)

    1. prommie

      The Retard Cavalry to the rescue! I thought the rule was "never go full retard," but the GOP looks like its already there.

  1. actor212

    Rebecca? Are you hiring new blood? Cuz, I'm like availaible. I work for peanuts…(no, really, I'm on a diet)…and from what Layne tells me, the gimp costume would fit me.

  2. An_Outhouse

    "Apparently he thinks it is Open Try-Out Season at Your Wonkette"
    Hey, at tleast Wonkette has an editor.

    WTF is this supposed to mean?
    "to speak ill of those who praise the dead when the deceased was best known for sliming a well-intentioned and wholly commendable public servant or for exposing a politician who had already exposed himself."

  3. WhatTheHeck

    It is not nice to speak ill of the dead, my mother once told me>

    So why is Wonket mentioning this guy?

  4. memzilla

    Rebecca, you gotta pull down that "Writerrrz Wanted" ad from Craigslist. Look at the schmuckful dreck it's attracting.

    1. memzilla

      I'd love to have more unhinged wingtards to practice on, though — one big fat one, especially. I only feel sorry for the brain-hungry zombies who will starve.

      [PS: It's only a sin to wish someone dead if the world would not be improved by their passing.]

      1. Sassomatic

        The only reason that one is still here is because God can't convince Satan to let him into Hell.

      2. MoeDeLawn

        Zombies would rip open that skull and then realize they should have stopped at Taco Bell after all.

  5. Goonemeritus

    Well well well, look at Richard Cohen! Apparently he thinks it is Open Try-Out Season at Your Wonkette, meow!

    I’ll have you know Wonkette posters are proud amateurs from the Latin “amare” or for love. Richard writes for whore diamonds.

  6. MadBrahms

    Oh, Richard. You're just sour because, right or wrong, people actually gave a shit about Breitbart's columns, unlike certain sham editorialists.

  7. Callyson

    Good column, but I prefer the video homage where Frightfart is screaming incoherently at the OWS people. Seems to capture his essence, such as it was…

  8. prommie

    In memory of the happily decesased Breitbart, can we change the name of that facial hairstyle called the "neckbeard" and start calling it a "Breitbart?"

  9. Wadisay

    Cohen also has articles in the can eloquently and sarcastically denouncing Limbaugh, Hannity and O'Rielly, but he's waiting for them to die.

  10. Terry

    "…Obama would like to appoint to high federal office."

    Shirley Sherrod was the Georgia State Director of Rural Development for the Dept of Agriculture. Is that considered a high Federal office? Regionally significant, certainly, but a high Federal office?

    1. HistoriCat

      Number 4,583 in the chain of command – if the nuclear strike wiped out everyone else, she was ready to take charge!

    1. Chichikovovich

      I can work with that: Breitbart was a prick.

      Thanks, Lucida, for that classic Roman wisdom.

  11. SayItWithWookies

    The recent lineup of earnest fools who have proclaimed their readiness to rule the nation and the world was — and remains — a depressing and frightening sight. Imagine President Perry or Santorum or Bachmann or Palin or Gingrich.

    Oh look — the sleeping dragon vole awakes. And it's truly bad news for the conservative movement if their intellectual bankruptcy and just plain meanness are evident to Richard Cohen.

    1. Chichikovovich

      It's even more extreme than that: Cohen doesn't even feel the need to say "but both sides do it – the Democrats nominated William Jennings Bryan, and that guy was wacky" for "balance". That's how bad things have gotten.

  12. Terry

    Breitbart and Lee Atwater are currently sharing a particularly nasty corner of Hell right now.

  13. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Cohen compares Breitbart to the late James Q. Wilson (last of the thinking conservatives): "[I]n Breitbart I can find nothing of value. He thought politics was like war. Wilson thought it was about ideas. That’s why you can only read about Breitbart. You can, however, always read Wilson."

    Pretty much nailed it there. Breitbart's noise is fading already.

  14. RedneckMuslin

    And he's really going to tell Limpballs off after Limpballs dies! You just wait! And I hope it's not a long wait.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      He claims to be bashing the people who are lionizing Breitbart … then he explains why they shouldn't. If Breitbart happens to get bashed in the process, well, that's just collateral damage.

  15. OneYieldRegular

    It's sort of difficult to imagine a worse epitaph than being dissed by Richard Cohen for being a bad journalist – after you're dead.

  16. Ken Cuccinelli

    Didn't Richard Cohen die late last year? Or was that another inmate at the Washington Post Op-Ed Page and Nursing Home for Advanced Dementia?

    1. Tundra Grifter

      I'll never forget where I was or what I was doing when I heard the news, oh Lord, about Breitbart's sudden passing.

      I was…uh you know it was…probably doing something….or other…somewhere…

      1. HistoriCat

        You were posting something moderately witty on Wonkette. It's OK – we were all doing the same thing.

  17. James Michael Curley

    "exposing a politician who had already exposed himself"
    With all the recent stories about Apple and Android Apps that search, discover and send different things from your phone, is it possible Anthony Weiner's Weiner pics may have been sent to his twitter friend without his knowledge just like he claimed?

    1. Tundra Grifter

      Nice turn of phrase, that. "…exposing a politician who had already exposed himself. "

  18. WiscDad

    Is that a typo? "louche blogger"? Should be douche blogger. The meanings are similar, and he may have been both…but he was far more douche than louche

  19. Limeylizzie

    Why, oh new Overlady, are comments being deleted, we are used to being able to run off at the mouth like teenagers?

    1. Tundra Grifter


      Just don't use the "r-word!"

      My girlfriend was once asked "Do you eat with that mouth?" She could be a bit salty.

  20. Tundra Grifter

    This morning I received my first SPAM email titled "Breaking News from Breitbart."

    Breaking wind, perhaps, but not news. Considering he just passed away (I believe his funeral was yesterday) I find this very, very creepy.

  21. zappadoo76

    "… a left-wing, socialist, Muslim president like Barack Hussein Obama…."

    That's Wonkette-speak.

    Okay, which one of you is Richard Cohen?

  22. rickmaci

    "louche blogger". You know it's a good day when Wonkette sends you scurrying to the dictionary based on a word in a blog about a newspaper diva and a dead crypto fascist. Snark On!!!

  23. lulzmonger

    Let the BigFranchise dipshits wail & fap. He'll be the answer to a question in Trivial Pursuit in a few years: "Who was the co-founder of Huffington Post who later became a right-wing website owner?"

    Groundskeepers must already know that's one grave that won't need watering for a loooooooong time.

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