Sarah Palin went on — or should we say, was transmitted through someone’s phone-toy in the direction of — CNN during Tuesday’s Super Snoozeday parade, and proclaimed that who knows whether she’ll run for president today, tomorrow, or after the Mayan apocalypse, but anything is possible because Americans can do anything they put their minds to, emphasis on “minds” and excluding jobs. Later on, while Romney was disappointing America, CNN spent a good portion of the long process of cell degeneration we call life talking about Palin some more, with what little comprehensible English was made available by her mouth yesterday. Conclusion: Sarah Palin is an alive person. Plus, hates misogynists as long as they are liberal.

Seeing as Election 2012 is like a very long airplane ride from which there is no escape and very poor in-flight entertainment or food, we may as well delve into this one-inch-deep story, as we delve into movies like “What’s Your Number?” or “The Help” when they are the only ones Delta is allowing us to see tinily through our dehydrated Brut goggles.

Disregarding the fact that if nobody asked Sarah Palin if she’ll run for president, she probably never would (trees falling in forests and all that), Palin Tuesday responded to CNN’s deeply unoriginal question by saying:

As I say, anything is possible. And I don’t close any doors that perhaps would be open out there. So, no, I wouldn’t close that door. And my plan is to be at that convention.

Here’s a video, with Sarah looking very mineral powdery and happy-angry.

The subplot of this family fun is that Sarah Palin was not excited about Barack Obama pandering to tears with his “I made a phone call to Sandra Fluke” comment. Mr. Man said he felt for Fluke re: Limbaugh because he has daughters or something. So Palin released a statement telling Obama to return the money that Bill Maher (a “rabid misogynist,” according to Palin, because he once called her a “c—,” which, yes, that was too bad) donated to one of Obama’s super PACs to the tune of one million dollars. Anyway, linking to FOX NOOSE for this only to show everybody that the Fox website has been redesigned to look like the Constitution.

Palin closed out the iPhone clip with these words, directed at CNN, which sum up everything nicely:

I APPRECIATE U. [Houston Chronicle/Fox News]

A Note From the Editrix: Comments on this post have been closed thanks to the one asshole who’s decided to disregard our well-known policy against slurs on Palin’s youngest child. The rest of you shouting ‘cunt’ over and over again like a naughty kid who just learned the word, eh, that’s fine though less clever than you may think.

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    • There's just one that's illegitimate, right? I thought that Combine Harvester Track and his new wife limboed under the marriage bar just in time. But maybe I'm just falling behind on my responsibilities as an American to keep up with every Palin family event.

      • Married sometime in May, baby born Aug 7th. She looks preggers in the wedding photos or she just has a gut like a 50 yr old beer drinker, but, sadly, I don't know how to do the link thingy…..

        • Maybe it's just semantics. I thought that if the child is born after the wedding, it is “legitimate” even if it was conceived out of wedlock. (Hence my remark about “limboed”.—

  1. Bill Maher doesn't have to pander to sponsors and he can call Palin a cunt if he wants. Rush, on the other hand, has to bend over and grab his ankles………as if he could.

    • Anddddd……not to split hairs here, but Sarah Palin is a fancy elite politician (sometimes) and Sandra Fluke is a private citizen. Oh what the hell, I like Bill Maher and so I'm bending over backwards (hehe) trying to make him look good.

    • The sponsors did NOT leave Bill's show because what he said was true. Everyone knows way to much about Sarah. Nobody especially el Rusho knows the coed. That is the diff Sarah. (Barb, I am pretty sure someone from Sarah's tribe/PAC/Possed monitors your devilishly clever comments)

    • There's also the small fact that Maher only said it once, not repeatedly over the course of several days, nor did he ask Palin to make a sex tape so he could fap to it.

      Totally the same, however, in Greater Wingnuttia.

    • I have laughed at Bill Maher a few times but I have never given a flying fuck about anything he said. I suspect that his importance to Liberal Though being compared to that of Limbaugh to Redneckery Thoughtlike Processes is exaggerated. But I don't really know.

    • Isn't it a factual matter the Ms Fluke is not a prostitute? And — without another parade of men through Darrel Issa's playground — she's not a slut either. With Palin, the truth is more elusive.

      (But isn't "the c-word" more-or-less "the n-word" for women?)

  2. If you're scoring at home:
    David Letterman calls Palin's daughter a slut because, well… she is one. = BAD
    Rush Limbaugh calls a law student a slut because, well no reason = FINE*

    * I won't watch that video, so I'm assuming that's what she says.

  3. From FAUX News:
    “For the sake of everyone’s daughter, why doesn’t his super PAC return the $1 million he got from a rabid misogynist?”
    …as opposed to:
    Sarah Palin said Tuesday the reaction in media and political circles that prompted Rush Limbaugh to apologize for calling a law student a “slut” was “the definition of hypocrisy.”
    “I think the definition of hypocrisy is for Rush Limbaugh to have been called out, forced to apologize and retract what it is that he said in exercising his First Amendment rights and never is that the same applied to the leftist radicals who say such horrible things about the handicapped, about women, about the defenseless,” Palin told CNN in an interview from Wasilla, Alaska.
    What was that about the definition of hypocrisy?
    (By the way, if Saint Sarah cared to read she would find that there are several liberals who *have* called out Bill Maher on his woman issues, whereas I'd like to find just one conservative who has done the same with Rushbo…)

    • Why the hell do these Republican ditto heads believe that the First Amendment means that you can say whatever you want and be immune to criticism, so long as you are a Republican?

    • To be fair, every conservative facing reelection with women in their district kind of sort of has said yeah maybe it wasn't the best choice of words.

    • I think the "handicapped" bit refers to Rahm, (not, of course, to Rush, or to the right wing pretend comedian who called Democrats "retards" in an opening act for Sarah!) It might refer to Wonkette too, though as I recall someone lost one of those big Soros-bucks poster's jobs over that. And of course, many fine young posts have lost their lives as collateral damage, their snark writ on water.

    • "the leftist radicals who say such horrible things about the handicapped, about women, about the defenseless,"

      Yeah, I totally remember when Rachael Maddow made fun of a guy with Parkinson's for daring to disagree with her politically. Then there was that time when Lawrence O'Donnell called anyone without health care "leeches" and "parasites." And that time Obama talked about how he wasn't going to give white people government money.

      Oh, wait …

    • Well, George Will did it, and he does surprise me like that at times (but not often). Nobody else on the Right had the guts to call Rush out. George is not running for office though, so there's not much they can do to him.

      By the way, I find Bill Maher offensive too. I may agree with his viewpoint, and he may be funny, but he's still gross far too often. I wish I could stand watching his show.

  4. It might be said of Sarah in particular and the GOP leadership in general:
    "You can fool too many of the people, too much of the time." — James Thurber

  5. Oh saggy Sarah, I loathe all the GOPer candidates but unlike you they actually had to shake hands with mouthbreathers, feetus fetishists, tinfoil hat dandies and morans, endure shitty food, travel to shitty hellholes, er, Iowa and spend long miserable hours on the road in the wastelands of US America unlike you who played Snow Princess in your mind and wrote pages of the horrible sexy things you would do to Barry Obamer. You give dilettantes a bad name.

    • I initially thought that screen shot was one of those cartoon things. Then I looked at the video. I am hoping that CNN is using some filter on their cameras that makes everything look plastic. Or there was some weird lighting, or anything really.

  6. So looking forward to watching Palin's increasingly desperate efforts to keep the grift alive as her looks slide from "sexy librarian" to "weird great aunt."

    • One of the few advantages of having a high frequency hearing loss is the shrillness of her voice is inaudible. However, I'm still left with the word salad which is inedible.

  7. Sarah Palin, FOX News' pomeranian of the moment, won't rule out running for president in exactly the same way that I won't rule out becoming a pirate. It's possible and I think about it a lot, but boy — those ships are awfully expensive, and being in charge of a boat full of other pirates sounds kinda complicated, and getting caught by the King and hanged wouldn't be fun. But hey — treasure, eyepatches and parrots!

  8. Hmm, that Fox News site looks like there is some constitution paper on the left and the right and the whole content part has been torn out, at least on my browser. Kudos to the person who designed it, so fitting.

    • You gotta love that lower left hand corner thingy: "The Nation Says This Post is Inspiring" (with Obnoxious and Crazy running 2nd and 3rd, respectively).

  9. Okay. Deep breath. Calling Sandra Fluke a slut based on her congressional testimony is a lie based on a fat fuck's altered state of consciousness (oxy really IS a hell of a drug) and his self loathing, obsession with sex and simultaneous disgust with intelligent, reasoning people, much less smart women. Calling Sarah Palin a cunt because she is an evil-stupid step way back to a level of skipped evolution I still find baffling is just taking a short cut. What was that joke abt putting the run (sarah) run bumper sticker on the front of a car?

    • What Limbaugh did was very specifically state that Flook actually did certain things – be sexually promiscuous, and attribute to her a desire she did not have (to make the government pay for her birth control).

      In contrast, Maher's statement – though I do find it misogynistic in its own right – was an abstract expression of irritation and exasperation. This is quite different from saying "she's a slut, because she has sex, all the time, with many, many men".

      • Exactly. Had Bill Maher come out and said "Sarah Palin is a smart and thoughtful woman, with many good, reasoned ideas that can do much to further the political discourse of our nation's people" THEN we would have lies of a competing fashion with how Rush falsely categorized Ms. Fluke. Instead he said a nasty swear to tell the truth.

    • Ha! Almost all Catholics for Romney besides Tennessee. And baggers went for Romney because Romney is not establishment , very conservative, etc.

    • Which is particularly stupid, since they are trying to play the "liberals are sexist too!" card – but Maher is not a liberal. He's a libertarian jackass, you morans.

    • Also I've seen a lot of commenters (plus that painfully unfunny "Day by Day" cartoon, which is always a reliable guide to the bullshit talking point du jour) mention that Ed Schultz once called Laura Ingraham a "slut" on his MSNBC show. Left out is the fact that Schultz gave an apparently sincere apology, that he was suspended for a week anyway, and that he used the word just once, rather than repeatedly, and venomously over the course of several spittle-flecked days worth of three-hour programs, and that all Schultz had to apologize for is the actual word used, while the words Limbaugh used were the least of his offences against simple decency – though he crafted his apologies with PR help to plant the impression that it was just about the words.

      Not to mention that Limbaugh threw these accusations while presenting a totally fabricated account of what her testimony consisted in, and that he did not just describe his primary victim as a slut and a prostitute, but in fact said that every woman who expects their insurance to pay for birth control is one. And that his successive "apologies" repeated the complete fabrication of her testimony, while blaming "the left" for the sewage he spewed.

      Really, there's an elementary response, which has clearly already occurred to the scores of advertisers who are running away: Just listen to the hours upon hours of Limbaugh ranting. Listen to the 5 seconds of Schultz or Maher. And tell me if they are even remotely comparable.

    • Of course. You can both pretend that it's ok and condemn someone else for doing it at the same time! Stories like this are perfect little nuggets of compressed cognitive dissonance.

  10. telling Obama to return the money that Bill Maher … donated to one of Obama’s super PACs to the tune of one million dollars.

    But Sarah – haven't you heard? Those super-PAC's are completely independent of the candidiates. No coordination allowed. So Obama – respecter of the law that he is – simply has to let them do their 100% independent thing.

    [Certainly that's what I remember Bush saying when he kept officially repeating "I respect Kerry's service" while the Swift Boaters were spreading millions of dollars worth of weapons-grade slime.]

  11. Thats some nasty high-pitched queefing coming from that cunt. Amazing talent. She could go on after the chick with the ping-pong balls.

    • The hate I feel for her could consume, digest and daintily blow out my butt the hate I feel for Rush. I guess I'm a sexist too. Something abt this woman rolling her eyes and shrilly acting like she has common sense on her side about hypocrisy makes me shakey, stammery and stabby. Where the hell is Rush's maid? I need pills.

  12. $he reminds of the girlfriend that wants to break up with you but won't go away.

    $he'll let you take her out to dinner but won't fuck you.

    Maybe a hand job if $hes in the mood.

    Pretty soon you stop answering the phone when $he calls.

  13. The Talking Point Du Joir is that Sarah Palin is a prime example of what a true feminist is, and if she decides to run, Obama can kiss the womans vote goodbye.
    Discuss amongst yourselves.

    • To that I can only reply: my God, they're on to us! I sure hope they don't read this post and clue in to how terrified we lefties are by the prospect of Sarah! winning 95% of the women's vote and cruising to victory. Because if they did read this post and learn how terrified we all are of Palin Power, they'd surely nominate her at one of those "brokered conventions" we hear so much about. And I hope that doesn't happen.

  14. I must be a misogynist too because I think Sarah is a total cunt. Also, I just misspelled misogynist too the point that autocorrect just said wtf? So I'm an ignorant misogynistic misspeller.

  15. Palin's ability to make everything about her is still something I find astonishing.

    Still, I have to explain the difference between Sandra Fluke getting called names and Sarah Palin getting called names…

    Rush didn't just call her a "slut" and a "prostitute," he lied about her testimony and motives for three days straight. Sandra Fluke, unlike Palin or Laura Ingraham (who was called a "slut" by Ed Schultz, and he was punished for it more severely than Limbaugh has been), isn't a public figure with her own platform to respond to Limbaugh. Limbaugh is a man with a 20-million (or so) person following and 15-hours a week of internationally available airtime, who was picking on someone considerably less famous and less powerful than him…for three days.

    Now, as far as Obama returning the money…because of these things called "campaign laws," Obama isn't supposed to control his SuperPAC, or coordinate with them at all. They are an independent group working on his behalf (though I'll concede the chances of this actually being the case aren't particularly likely).

  16. What the hell, Sarah, give it a try. A few weeks of non sequiturs from from a hermetically sealed chamber followed by two years (give or take) in the White House – surely you can handle that. After that it's just ribbon cutting at your library and picking a site on the Mall for your memorial.

  17. Well, I'm sure this will be unpopular, but I'm going to go on record as not being cool with anyone being called a "cunt" or a "slut". Anyone. I don't care if they actually are these things – it IS misogynist and it's not cool*.

    *This statement brought to you by a queer feminazi (likes all genitals equally).

    • I agree that it isn't OKAY to call Sarah Palin misogynistic names, but her claims that the two things are equivalent is ridiculous.

      • You mean, what Maher said and what Limbaugh said? If I take away that fact that I hate Palin with all my heart, I'd say that they are roughly the same. The fact that Sarah is more well-known (and a horrible person) doesn't mean that it's automatically OK to call her a cunt. Now, Limbaugh's behavior was arguably more ridiculous, in that he continued to defend himself until he started to lose sponsors.

        • "The fact that Sarah is more well-known (and a horrible person) doesn't mean that it's automatically OK to call her a cunt."

          That's NOT what I am saying.

          • Both calling someone a "cunt" or a "slut" is bad, but you're caught up on one word.

            Putting aside the fact that there is an accepted difference between how public figures and private citizens are treated, Limbaugh didn't just say "slut." He said other things. LOTS of other things. He asked her who bought her condoms in junior. He said she probably had guys lined up around the block. He said she was having so much sex he was surprised she could still walk. He said she was having sex at sex-addict frequency, all the time, whenever she wants it, and called her an "amoral, baseless, no purpose to her life, woman."

          • Huh. I hadn't even listened to the whole thing – all I caught was the slut line, and the line about having so much sex that she couldn't afford birth control, which means, of course, that Rush has never had sex with a woman and therefor has no idea how it works.

    • That they're so pervasive doesn't make them ok; I've had to check myself many times after letting "slut" slip out, and I think some words are to be actively on guard against using.

      But I do think we need to avoid getting too tangled up in the broader meaning of the word here so we don't play too far into FOX's hand. The word "slut" is really not the objectionable part of what Limbaugh said. Had he left "slut" and "prostitute" out entirely he would still be guilty of ridiculous violence against Flook.

    • If I call Rush a dick, no one would call me sexist. Calling someone a name based on genitalia like dick, cunt, etc., is juvenile, but it's just another "bad word".

      Calling someone a slut or a prostitute is accusing them of something.
      Totally different thing.

  18. Her appearances more and more remind me of famous boxers. Is it Jake LaMotta because of her Raging Bull or Chuck Wepner the Bayone Weeper.

  19. Wow, nice fucking rouge you have on there, Sarah. Did the Wasilla Walgreen's have a special on Maybelline's "Shit Stain Brown" cheek compacts?

  20. I think the window is quickly closing on her opportunity for that Playboy pictorial spread that I predicted after the 2008 election.

  21. A four-way with Palin, Rmoney, Newt, and Frothy?

    Newt: Well, sure. I don't mind sharing. I get the vaj though.

    Rmoney: Is this what it would be like to have multiple wives?

    Frothy: Get thee behind me, Satan!

    Newt: Hang on, Rick. I'm busy.

  22. I have to disagree with Bill about the sponsor pull out. Ideas have a market like anything else. When a product goes stale or bursts into flame (the Ford Limbaugh?), support for that product goes away.

  23. Poopity. All the twit needs to do is run this clip as her campaign ad and every brain-dead, hormone-driven, mouth breathing drooler in the country (and that's just her female sycophants) couldn't blaze to the polls fast enough to elect her.

  24. Just imagine the Palin clan in the White House with the trailers out in the Rose Garden, an airhead in the Oval Office. Delicious.

    • I just now read about this. I'm sure she'll blame it on liberal misdirection, or the signs confusing her because they were bilingual.

    • Yes, why hasn't Coulter been prosecuted? The DA apparently isn't taking very seriously the epidemic of voter fraud threatening the very foundations of democracy.

    • Bayonne Bleeder was before he got arrested for selling faked autographed pictures of him and Ali and a few other similar scams. He actually broke down in court during sentencing about ten years ago. Nonetheless he is still alive but probably over 80. He wasn’t that bad. He had a left hook like getting hit with a cement block.As a side note, LaMotta admitted throwing a fight and Wepner was convicted of fraud. All the more to remind one of She Who Grifts.

  25. I wonder if she's broken the news to her oldest son that he's going to have to reenlist with the Army "for show" again if she does decide to run. Nah, then they would show drippy footage of his kissing his little baby goodbye and Sarah has kept mum about the baby and hasn't acknowledged that she was born.

  26. I dunno, "cunt" is a term of endearment in my house. "Slut" still seems a bit over the top, though.

    And in british pubs, "cunt" is a multipurpose epithet of the mildest form.

  27. The elite media (to use the Newt phrase) and the elites in the Republican Party (Newt, again) and the Wall Street elites (Newt)…aw, dang, I forgot what I wanted to snark.

    Oh yeah. They say the idea of a brokered Republican convention ending up with Palin is a crazy idea, as if the whole flippin' GOP is not batshhit crazy already. She would step the mike, say "Lipstick," and the floor would be instantly littered with ole Romney and Santorum signs as delegates get on their chairs and sing Dixie.

  28. Good grief, her make up has really gotten heavy and cartoonish. She looks like a bad female impersonator.

    So, male Wonketteers, remember when she was Governor of Alaska back before she was tapped by McCain and there was a whole bunch of you lusting after her? GILF was the term, if I recall correctly.

  29. Wow! I never realized that the First Amendment prevents advertisers from cancelling their sponsorships of radio shows! God bless you, Sarah Palin, for setting us all straight on that!

  30. Oh, please, please, Sarah….the hilarity of discussions at the RNC over you running or being selected by one of these upstanding candidates as VP could never be equalled…..please set your cap for something….

  31. What beautiful tee-tons and magnificent keister….if she deep kisses MADONNA at the convention who can stop her?? Look at the alternatives, two Catholics, an alien and a Texan. Cowboys and aliens at the inquisition. She could get the official republican wonder woman outfit from George W. and pose for the photo that hangs in the post offices and such…

  32. Oh good! I see the Palin haters are at it again. Or, do you ever really stop? No matter. I just had to pop in and see how well you all are handling the Governor living rent free in your heads for these past three years. I wonder if you will ever get out from under the absolute power she has over you? You think it is not true? Take a look around. She surrounds you. LOL!!!! Have a blessed day.

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