VERY DUMB THINGS  10:03 am March 7, 2012

Founder Of Media Research Center Brent Bozell Has No Idea What First Amendment Does

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Sexy Gingers.L. Brent Bozell III, the erudite and thoughtful fuhrer of rightwing hacktanks like the Media Research Center, proved his bona fides for leading anything that conducts “research” into “media,” by evincing via Twitterz a complete and total non-understanding of the Constitutional basis for our cherished American Free Speech. Jawing hacking on behalf of (who else?) poor beleaguered Rush Limbaugh, Bozell vomited forth this bit of utter nonsense: “Anti-free speech leftists despise first amendment, want Rush FIRED. Don’t let hypocrites win, sign MRC’s petition now!” There is then a link to MRC’s petition, which we are not pasting here because we would never let you sign something so lame.

As a public service, and AGAIN, Your Wonkette will explain wearily that the First Amendment does not apply to actions by private peoples, such as firing you for having a John Kerry sticker on your Subaru Golf (totally legal!). What it does prohibit is actions by the government to impede your ability to speak by, say, putting you in military jail forever for webcamming yourself dancing to Lady Gaga and shooting the sexxxy vid to Wikileaks. Maybe! Some dude from Yale disagrees.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 163 comments }

GunToting[Redacted] March 7, 2012 at 10:04 am

Once again, the people shouting loudest about things like the First Amendment have absolutely no FUCKING idea what it actually says (see also: too: Sarah Palin).

yrbmegr March 7, 2012 at 10:11 am

I respectfully disagree. The shouting is not mindless ranting, but PROPAGANDA, and it's intentional.

RedneckMuslin March 7, 2012 at 10:14 am

I respect your first amendment right to disagree.

beavertank March 7, 2012 at 10:20 am

I disrespect your first amendment right to express your disagreement. For this, you die!

Doktor Zoom March 7, 2012 at 11:18 am

I will defend to the death your right to kill people with whom you disagree.

–Voltaire or maybe Mark Twain or Winston Churchill. No, must be Steven Wright.

yrbmegr March 7, 2012 at 10:20 am

Just so. We liberals (making a wild assumption here!) can have respectful disagreements on things without impugning people's faith, integrity, value, etc. I thank you for your civilized discourse.

comrad_darkness March 7, 2012 at 10:23 am

Wait, there was a disagreement here?

Terry March 7, 2012 at 10:44 am

Exactly. Shout incorrect information long and loud enough and it is accepted as fact.

RedneckMuslin March 7, 2012 at 10:15 am

I respect your first amendment reight to say that.

actor212 March 7, 2012 at 10:55 am

And I respect your Fifth Amendment right not to say anything more.

Doktor Zoom March 7, 2012 at 11:23 am

And I respect your Third Amendment right to tell those soldiers to move their bedrolls out of your rec room.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 7, 2012 at 10:25 am

It's more than a little bit hilarious that this particular loudly-shouting person, with absolutely no clue what the First Amendment says, is the presi-fucking-dent of the "Media Research Center". Imagine what the lower-level bozos at MRC must be like.

SayItWithWookies March 7, 2012 at 10:51 am

If you think that's hilarious, you should see some of their media research. It's supposed to be exposing the media's left-wing bias — and yet to me it's usually just random samplings of the news, like "Alabama has the most people with goiters" or some such that they get really outraged about.

BerkeleyBear March 7, 2012 at 11:18 am

They know exactly what it says – they just have no idea what those things called words mean. Because only elitists worry about reading comprehension.

Geminisunmars March 7, 2012 at 11:58 am

Because they are not snobs.

SpiderCrab March 7, 2012 at 10:07 am

Bedtime for Bozell.

smokefilledroommate March 7, 2012 at 10:13 am

L. Brent Bozo the Clown

Biel_ze_Bubba March 7, 2012 at 10:43 am

L. Brent Bozell the Turd

Tundra Grifter March 7, 2012 at 11:22 am

L. Bent Bozo the Turd is the one I've been using for a while now.

MaxNeanderthal March 7, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Er, Mr Bent Bozo, or whateverthefuk your name is, there is no way on this or any other planet that you're going to get laid when your beard instantly makes every woman you meet imagine what your pubic hairs gonna look like……

anniegetyerfun March 7, 2012 at 10:08 am

Don't retreat, reload! And by "reload", I mean, pop another few Viagra! Pow!

Doktor Zoom March 7, 2012 at 10:09 am

Show me where in the Constitution it says that people have the right to criticize Rush Limbaugh! Those words do not actually appear in the Constitution!

chicken_thief March 7, 2012 at 10:26 am

But do they appear in the Bible? Cause, you know, the Bible is the basis for the Constitution since Jesus wrote both.

subsum March 7, 2012 at 10:55 am

That's right. If English was good enough for Jesus it should be good enough for us.

Guppy March 7, 2012 at 11:09 am

I recall the disemboweling of a notably fat king in Judges 3.

finallyhappy March 7, 2012 at 10:59 am

It appears in my copy of the Constitution that I wrote- just like the ones the right wing are always yelling about. I went to visit the actual Constitution at the Archives(It's near where I deal with crazed middle schoolers and confused tourists each week)- and you cannot read that thing. It is faded, under glass and the guards have guns. So I, like the right wing, make it say whatever I want

anniegetyerfun March 7, 2012 at 10:09 am

This has to be the worst role that Kenneth Branagh has ever played.

BaldarTFlagass March 7, 2012 at 10:09 am

I think they're all Bozells on this bus.

Major Thom March 7, 2012 at 10:11 am

Excellent Firesign reference. Probably lost on anyone under 50.

actor212 March 7, 2012 at 10:18 am

I still haven't been able to figure out how you can be in two places at once when you're really not anywhere at all.

Oh pardon me. Antlelope Freeway in one-sixteenth of a mile…

Biff March 7, 2012 at 10:24 am

Coming, Mother!

Tundra Grifter March 7, 2012 at 11:27 am

I played pickup softball in Golden Gate Park (Speedway Meadows) on many a Saturday with various members of that group.

No surprise they were quite funny, easy to get along with, and mediocre players. Like me.

actor212 March 7, 2012 at 10:12 am

Don't crush Brent Zaius, hand me the pliers.

Major Thom March 7, 2012 at 10:25 am

You can sit here in the waiting room or you can wait here in the sitting room.

actor212 March 7, 2012 at 10:33 am

Are those my cues?

Major Thom March 7, 2012 at 10:36 am

This brings back such nice marijuana-fogged memories.

MosesInvests March 7, 2012 at 10:47 am

How did you get in here, Roccoco? You don't have a key!- No, only half a key-I had to split it with the soundman. (Thanks, Rocky!)

actor212 March 7, 2012 at 10:59 am

Memories?

If you're not living then and now simultaneously, you didn't smoke enough!

Biel_ze_Bubba March 7, 2012 at 10:37 am

regnaD kciN

actor212 March 7, 2012 at 11:22 am

I was sitting in my office on that drizzly afternoon listening to the monotonous staccato of rain on my desk and reading my name on the glass of my office door:

actor212 March 7, 2012 at 11:22 am

Wait! Didn't I say that on the OTHER side of the record?

Biel_ze_Bubba March 7, 2012 at 10:10 am

L. Brent Bozell's I and II are spinning in their graves. Or maybe not … this dolt got his double dose of stupid genes from somewhere.

The First Amendment does protect his right to say stupid things about the First Amendment, but the only thing preventing MRC for firing his ass for epic incompetence is his position as President.

anniegetyerfun March 7, 2012 at 10:23 am

The "III" after his name actually refers to the number of extra chromosomes attached to each of his chromosomes.

tallmutha March 7, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Let it be remembered that Brent Bozell II moved the family to Spain expressly so they could know the joy of living under Franco.

yrbmegr March 7, 2012 at 10:10 am

I understand the basis for your post, but I disagree. People like Bozell are fully aware of what the First Amendment means. They just lie to their supporters about it to achieve specific goals. This is what conservative leaders do, and it is why reality has a liberal bias.

Chichikovovich March 7, 2012 at 10:27 am

Absolutely. Look back to some case where howls for censorship went up against someone on the left – the Dixie Chicks, or Move-on.org's "Betray-us" ad – there were surely one or two left-wing voices that mistakenly invoked the first amendment in those connections. I've no doubt that if you go back in the archives you will find dozens of right-wingers (perhaps even Bozell himself) explaining in condescending tones that this isn't what the First Amendment says at all, and isn't it typical of those silly left wingers (every last one of them! Not just the obscure Daily Kos posting I'm commenting on) not to get it.

James Michael Curley March 7, 2012 at 11:20 am

It is correct to invoke the First Amendment when, as in the case of the Move-On "Betray-Us" ad, several members of congress introduced resolutions to condemn, criticize, castrate, etc.

Chillatte March 7, 2012 at 10:11 am

He looks like a gheyer Chuck Norris.

freakishlywrong March 7, 2012 at 10:27 am

Who only molests little boys.

Tundra Grifter March 7, 2012 at 11:34 am

I usually go with Civil War reenactor.

Confederate general.

weej_bain March 7, 2012 at 10:11 am

Julian Assange is Larry Flint's long lost brother from Oz??? Who knew??? If you properly decode the Wikileaks you get pictures of boobies – WikiPorn??

actor212 March 7, 2012 at 10:11 am

Maybe we should take Bozell hostage and exercise our Second Amendment rights.

And by that, I mean form a militia. We can use him as a battering ram when we storm the BATF.

Chichikovovich March 7, 2012 at 10:29 am

Well, that would mean that Bozell would meet a fate that would be worse than death, to listen to people like him. He'd have to be "well-regulated" .

actor212 March 7, 2012 at 10:34 am

I propose that sparing the rod would spoil the child, so a club to the head ought to keep him regular.

That, and a high fibre diet.

Chichikovovich March 7, 2012 at 10:47 am

Or we could regulate him by tossing him in a well, as the Second Amendment demands.

SayItWithWookies March 7, 2012 at 10:55 am

No need for regulation — according to the NRA, the first clause of the second amendment has been replaced with an ellipsis. Really, that's the way it's depicted on the wall of their headquarters.

actor212 March 7, 2012 at 11:00 am

Aw, goddamit! Do you know how hard it is to form an elliptical militia?????

SayItWithWookies March 7, 2012 at 11:44 am

But an elliptical firing squad can shoot at twice as many people as a circular one can.

BaldarTFlagass March 7, 2012 at 10:12 am

It's been my observation that just about every single person I have ever met in this life that uses his first initial/middle name instead of first name is usually an insufferable prick. Present company excluded, of course.

Spurning Beer March 7, 2012 at 10:22 am

J. Fred Muggs takes exception, and may exercise his First Amendment right to fling feces at you.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 7, 2012 at 11:16 am

Which is also his Second Amendment right.

beavertank March 7, 2012 at 10:24 am

L. Ron Hubbard's estate begs to differ, and is threatening to sue if you don't take that back.

Oh no! Your first amendment rights! Oh wait…

Chichikovovich March 7, 2012 at 10:31 am

I couldn't agree more. J. Fred Muggs once threw shit at me.

Edit: Rookie mistake – always refresh before posting.

Maman March 7, 2012 at 10:35 am

I thought the sign of eternal prickdom was the use of the roman numeral.

finallyhappy March 7, 2012 at 11:03 am

Yes, -also because people don't even get that you can't be the third(if you are not a king) if the first and second aren't living

Jukesgrrl March 7, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I especially love the baby-makers who add II instead of Jr., as if they are interchangeable.

Jukesgrrl March 7, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Just for the record, in this case both I and II are deceased.

SorosBot March 7, 2012 at 10:37 am

J. Edgar Hoover agrees.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 7, 2012 at 11:18 am

In that movie where he was played by F. Murray Abraham?

SayItWithWookies March 7, 2012 at 10:56 am

Stop discriminating against me!

– S. WithWookies

HateMachine March 7, 2012 at 11:06 am

Am I acceptable if I use my middle name but don't fuck with initials?

Jukesgrrl March 7, 2012 at 3:02 pm

As long as your middle name is Hussein.

J Rbt. Oppenheiner March 7, 2012 at 11:08 am

What? What?

Gratuitous World March 7, 2012 at 10:12 am

it's the timeworn impotent argument:

"The First Amendment protects my right to say hateful + bigoted things, but doesn't protect your right to call me on being a hateful bigot."

CapnFatback March 7, 2012 at 10:12 am

Too late, Rebecca, I already signed the petition as "Anal Cyst."

I figured since Rush is always talking out of his porcine ass, the least it could do is support his efforts to see sexytime college co-ed videos.

actor212 March 7, 2012 at 10:19 am

Oooh, Imma go sign as your brother, P. Lionel

ChernobylSoup March 7, 2012 at 10:13 am

It's okay. His complexion proves that god hates him.

CapnFatback March 7, 2012 at 10:14 am

So the MRC is advocating for a right-wing hack? Do you suppose it's not really a watchdog group after all?

Biel_ze_Bubba March 7, 2012 at 10:28 am

Watchdogs get rabies too.

Doktor Zoom March 7, 2012 at 11:27 am

More of a watchdogwhistle group

Generation[redacted] March 7, 2012 at 10:14 am

The 1st amendment protects the rights of conservatives to say whatever they want, and our right to listen quietly and nod in agreement.

SorosBot March 7, 2012 at 10:14 am

It's sort of like how wingnuts think the First Amendment should protect the rights of bigots to discriminate against those they hate, provide they justify their hatred with their religion; and in general how they like to scream about freedom while actively trying to destroy actual freedom for all.

UnholyMoses March 7, 2012 at 10:21 am

Much like their "small government" wails only apply to their ability to scream slurs at others without consequence, while not applying to the military or women's uterii.

Texan_Bulldog March 7, 2012 at 10:15 am

Something tells me on that link there's probably somewhere to donate money. He's good–must have taken some courses from the Snowbilly School of Faux Outrage Grifting.

Joshua Norton March 7, 2012 at 10:15 am

complete and total non-understanding of the Constitutional basis for our cherished American Free Speech.

I wish I could write for a bunch of morons who wouldn’t have the brains to challenge me when I write FAIL. Seems like a pretty good job.

Jukesgrrl March 7, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Not to mention let you call yourself "president" and pay you big bucks when you write FAIL.

FlownOver March 7, 2012 at 10:15 am

This is goods news for Pauly Shore.

Tundra Grifter March 7, 2012 at 11:37 am

And Carrot Top. If the Constitution guarantees everyone the right to broadcast garbage on the radio, he just might get another job.

On second thought, probably not even then.

UW8316154 March 7, 2012 at 10:15 am

I don't want Rush fired, not true at all. I just want him to quickly decompose into an irrelevant puddle of santorum sweeted with viagra and oxy and just a dash of Dominican.

Geminisunmars March 7, 2012 at 12:10 pm

This is known as a Right Wing Bloody Mary.

kissawookiee March 7, 2012 at 10:15 am

I cannot decide which is bringing me more Facebook joy: people insisting that advertisers fleeing Limbaugh in droves are violating his 1st Amendment rights, or people insisting that it's spelled "ammendment." The fact that these two phenomena frequently co-occur surprises me less than the sun rising in the east AGAIN this morning, also.

Doktor Zoom March 7, 2012 at 10:45 am

Tangentially related–a week or so back, Neil DeGrasse Tyson pointed out to Jon Stewart that the Daily Show's opening animation has the Earth rotating in the wrong direction.

yrbmegr March 7, 2012 at 10:17 am

Since when does a dude from Yale get to "exercise his First Amendment rights" using words like "ubiquitously"? Is it Speech when there are wrong words in it?

upthruster March 7, 2012 at 10:17 am

"L. Brent Bozell III"

Really?! Three of them? Who does lineage naming anymore? -Only people who have no real identitiy of their own and have to use Grandpa's name to get some attention.

L stands for Loser….the third.

smokefilledroommate March 7, 2012 at 10:20 am

"Who does lineage naming anymore?"

The same people who wear monogrammed clothing.

DaRooster March 7, 2012 at 10:22 am

I am the IV… and the robe is getting a bit worn…

SayItWithWookies March 7, 2012 at 11:02 am

Preppy lacrosse-playing girlfriend murderers such as George Huguely V do it even more inexplicably, as I'm betting he's a) not a monarch and b) does not have four generations of living ancestors.

finallyhappy March 7, 2012 at 11:05 am

but those morons(and he is proof of their idiocy) don't understand the rules anyway.

imissopus March 7, 2012 at 2:22 pm

On the plus side, I'm pretty sure there won't be a George Huguely VI.

FakaktaSouth March 7, 2012 at 10:18 am

Supply side Jesus thinks Rush and all his minions should stop being such whining assholes. Where's your Free Market God NOW? Yeah that's right, he's here with me and my fuck your show petition and consumer choice advocacy. It's BUSINESS bitches.

LesBontemps March 7, 2012 at 10:50 am

Take the cannoli.

UnholyMoses March 7, 2012 at 10:20 am

What the hell do we expect from people who only give a shit about the Second Amendment, and want to repeal the 10th, 14th, a few dozen others?

yrbmegr March 7, 2012 at 10:23 am

Uproarious hilarity!

yrbmegr March 7, 2012 at 10:23 am

Don't try to discuss the Dormant Commerce Clause with them. Sheesh!

beavertank March 7, 2012 at 10:27 am

Whoops, I fixed that one while the admin was fixing it for me, and now the comment has disappeared… poor lil' comment.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 7, 2012 at 10:32 am

Vanished as I was reading it … that was weird.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 7, 2012 at 10:33 am

And then re-appeared below. Good times!

beavertank March 7, 2012 at 10:37 am

Yeah, it told me it timed out while posting once, so I submitted again. Turns out it double posted… when I noticed I deleted the second one, since the first had a reply already. Then on refresh the admin had already fixed it for me… The aristocrats!

Doktor Zoom March 7, 2012 at 11:01 am

O MY GOD WONKETTE HAS BEEN HACKED BY RIGHT-WING HACKERS WHO ARE HACKING US AND TRYING TO TAKE OUR FREEEEEEEEDOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

(This message brought to you by the Committee for Assuming that Every Glitch is Actually a Nefarious Plot. Follow us on Twitter, or see our frequent posts on Yahoo News)

comrad_darkness March 7, 2012 at 10:24 am

The First Amendment means what Fox News says it means.

Generation[redacted] March 7, 2012 at 10:33 am

It's their First Amendment right to define the First Amendment how they see fit.

comrad_darkness March 8, 2012 at 2:44 pm

True dat.

DaRooster March 7, 2012 at 10:26 am

Phillip Seymour Hoffman looks taller…

CountryClubJihadi March 7, 2012 at 10:26 am

Love the cutting edge ALL CAPS logo with "research" in a smaller font.

north_of_moscow March 7, 2012 at 10:28 am

If speeches are free, how are all these GOP presidential candidates going to make a living after this season of POLITIX! ends?

beavertank March 7, 2012 at 10:38 am

Because freedom ain't free.

…it costs $1.09.

DaRooster March 7, 2012 at 10:29 am

“Anti-free speech leftists despise first amendment, want Rush FIRED. Don’t let hypocrites win, sign MRC’s petition now!”

Uh… FYI the 3rd… with every sponsor that douche bag has dropping him like hot Santorum nobody out here needs to ask for him to be fired… they are doing it. Quit blaming Leftists for your bois stupidity.

freakishlywrong March 7, 2012 at 10:30 am

So a war on women becomes a "war on religious freedom"
And a hateful goiter/asshole known for incendiary and offensive discourse becomes a victim of libruls and is being "silenced".

Orwell weeps.

Doktor Zoom March 7, 2012 at 10:33 am

Nah, Orwell simply makes an odd chopping gesture on his left forearm while saying, "Same as it ever was…same as it ever was…"

Biel_ze_Bubba March 7, 2012 at 10:43 am

That's nothing. Contraceptive coverage by health insurance is a "War on Babies".
(Check Bozell the Turd's MRC website, if you can stomach it.)

Generation[redacted] March 7, 2012 at 10:32 am

This is good news for the Dixie Chicks

ManchuCandidate March 7, 2012 at 10:32 am

You silly liebruls. The US America Constitution is only meant to protect RW assholes from themselves. Those are "rights" (see!) not LEFTS.

Fare la Volpe March 7, 2012 at 10:32 am

Silly liberals: one does not need to actually read the Constitution in order to defend it.

chascates March 7, 2012 at 10:33 am

The problem isn't freedom of speech. It's the inability to think before using that freedom.

Doktor Zoom March 7, 2012 at 10:37 am

I think we all know who TMBG had in mind when they wrote:

I should be allowed to blurt the merest idea
If by random whim one occurs to me…

I should be allowed to shoot my mouth off
I should have a call in show

FakaktaSouth March 7, 2012 at 10:47 am

"Everything sticks like a broken record – everything sticks until IT GOES AWAY"
(yeah, I fixed it)

donner_froh March 7, 2012 at 10:38 am

Another part of the First Amendment, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;"

means that I can impose my religious convictions on you but if you try to stop me it violates my freedom of religion.

Doktor Zoom March 7, 2012 at 10:47 am

And the only reason people sue to stop schools from having officially-sponsored prayers is because their feelings are hurt. Well what about MY feelings? I'm offended by atheists, so I'll sue THEM!!!

ifthethunderdontgetya March 7, 2012 at 10:39 am
Doktor Zoom March 7, 2012 at 10:40 am

As usual, whenever wingnuts start talking about the Constitution, I think of this.

DaRooster March 7, 2012 at 10:50 am

Eggs Actly.

Maman March 7, 2012 at 10:40 am

Being a creepy ginger (creepy describing the dude not the ginger) he must be desperate to keep another creepy dude in business to make him seem more normal

Selfish_T March 7, 2012 at 10:45 am

The Media Research Center's stated mission is to "prove — through sound scientific research — that liberal bias in the media does exist and undermines traditional American values".

I have to wonder how "scientific research" works when step #1 is the acceptance of the foregone conclusion.

yrbmegr March 7, 2012 at 11:16 am

How it works is simple. MRC writes it and the sheeple believe it. Really no different than any other scientific research.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 7, 2012 at 11:33 am

Wingnuts use the word "research", but it does not mean what they think it means.

Thus do they bless us with "Creation Science", "Intelligent Design", and the "Climate Hoax."

Tundra Grifter March 7, 2012 at 11:43 am

The MRC website "Newsbusters" is stuffed with rubes and gulls who swallow without thought or reason the right wing nutz' line.

I got kicked out of there for maintaining another position. They have no interest in people offering points of view.

"Liberal bias in the media" is a cottage industry for the otherwise completely unemployable. The wonderful book "London Labor and the London Poor" has a chapter on various frauds and chicanes. One is a very conservative writer who lives on contributions while he finishes his masterpiece of reactionary thought. He published a very conservative pamphlet which he hands out for free and the money rolls in for him to continue.

Not much has changed since then.

Fare la Volpe March 7, 2012 at 10:50 am

Yo, assfuck, I got your violation of the First Amendment right here.

Doktor Zoom March 7, 2012 at 11:06 am

Borked linky?

Fare la Volpe March 7, 2012 at 11:08 am
JustPixelz March 7, 2012 at 10:57 am

Good to know the wingtards are against firing people. Last year they had a different viewpoint when it came to the now-departed Jack Steuf for his use of just one objectionable word:

Some pople are alive, only because its illegal to kill them. I believe there is a special place in hell for people like this jerkoff !

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/dubo

MadBrahms March 7, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Yes, but that was only because we liberals brought them down to our level, etc, etc blargle blargle moar vicodin blargle

Doktor Zoom March 7, 2012 at 11:03 am

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lube.

SayItWithWookies March 7, 2012 at 11:08 am

I'm glad to know L. Brent Bozell III will respect my right to say he has the perspicacious demeanor of a failed rapist.

Barrelhse March 7, 2012 at 11:35 am

LBBIII, LBBIII,
Be-bi-bicky-bi-bo.

Barrelhse March 7, 2012 at 11:37 am

Also. Looks like Brent has kind of a mush-mouth that he's trying to hide with his facial "hair".

ChiRon8 March 7, 2012 at 11:41 am

Bozell the Clown, III

Tundra Grifter March 7, 2012 at 11:45 am

The right wing nutz always whimper and simper when they get dope-slapped by The Invisible Hand.

James Michael Curley March 7, 2012 at 12:02 pm

I've been hoping for the inevitable war between Media Research Center and Media Matters.

"Now the rovin’ gambler he was very bored
He was tryin’ to create a next world war
He found a promoter who nearly fell off the floor
He said I never engaged in this kind of thing before
But yes I think it can be very easily done
We’ll just put some bleachers out in the sun
And have it on Highway 61"

tallmutha March 7, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I signed his dumb petition in the names "Skinnyghetto Crackhead" and "Francisco Franco" (Google Bozell Franco, you'll have a surprise in store) but then laid off thinking he might actually be able to make some use of the additional numbers–does anybody know how that works?

Redhead March 7, 2012 at 1:03 pm

When I was a little kid, I once responded to my dad (in the middle of an argument) – "It's a free country! I can do what I want! You can't tell me what to do!"

He rather quickly and effectively taught me that yes, I could do what I wanted, but that it would definitely come with consequences and my right to do what I wanted didn't extend to doing it consequence-free. I see the Republicans are still struggling with the lessons of the eight-year-olds.

ttommyunger March 7, 2012 at 1:32 pm

One can assume that Breitbart is keeping a seat warm for him, considering everything is warm where he is.

SiameseCatLady March 7, 2012 at 3:37 pm

I have always wondered –

Does Bozell dye his pubic hair the same color as he dyes his head & facial hair?

MRjonz March 7, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Old American Adage: "Never trust a man who parts his name on the left."

Lex March 16, 2012 at 9:24 am

In all fairness to Bozell, his tweet probably read more coherently in the original German.

beavertank March 7, 2012 at 10:21 am

I see a prolapse coming…

LesBontemps March 7, 2012 at 10:27 am

Miss Guided.

actor212 March 7, 2012 at 10:54 am

Agreeably, yes.

actor212 March 7, 2012 at 10:58 am

I'd like a pizza to go and no anchovies

Steverino247 March 7, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Rocky Roccoco, at your cervix!

actor212 March 7, 2012 at 11:01 am

Miss Taken, for the trifecta

MosesInvests March 7, 2012 at 11:11 am

No anchovies? You must have the wrong number-I spell my name DANGER.

actor212 March 7, 2012 at 11:21 am

*click*

What???

beavertank March 7, 2012 at 11:42 am

Oh god! I never knew! I… I'm a victim!

…I can parlay this into a lucrative tour of the talk show circuit now, right?

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