what is anything

Super Tuesday Liveblog The Third: Spit It Out, Ohio! And Other Vague Shrugs Of Assent

i am sad and sleepy

Hello. What are you doing? It’s time to figure out what some quadrilateral land masses think about three organic masses and one gas, which were each forced to apply for Obama’s job because their tyrannical wives and gas-wife made them. We would say, We are watching this very closely, but that would be plagiarism, so we will just say, We have televisions that seem to work. What’s happened so far is that Romney has won Virginia and hilariously won a large portion of Massachusetts, Gingrich has won Georgia but has yet to figure out what his sleep number is, and Ron Paul has gone to Outer Snow Space to speak to a frozen tundra of anemia sufferers. Santorum has won Tennessee. Romney has also won Vermont, which is a real shame, and we’re still waiting to find out about Ohio, and what percentage of any of this matters.

8:30PM — “I just want to tell you something interesting about how this is going to work,” said somebody on CNN just a minute ago (WE ARE PASTBLOGGING FOR A SEC) about the “tight” “race” between Romney and Santorum in Ohio, and she unfortunately did not go on to say, “Obama will be reelected in a historic landslide, and we will laugh and laugh,” but did say something about truckloads of paper or something. She seemed genuinely excited, whereas earlier John King nodded to Wolf Blitzer in a manner that undeniably said, “I want to kill myself,” and then touched some colored quadrilaterals with his fingertips. BUT that was then, when Jim was still around, and then Sarah Palin came on fresh from a chemical peel and John King and others proverbially kissed the back of her hand and then just to give you a sense of what this world is coming to the CNN headline became SARAH PALIN JUST VOTED IN ALASKA, which is evidently breaking news and is an example of New Old Old New Old New Non-Journalism.
8:31 — “Do you think Sarah Palin…has a role?”
8:31:01 — No.
8:38 — RICK SANTORUM WINS TENNESSEE [CNN PROJACULATION].
8:39 — Now we are in Georgia listening to Callista Gingrich talking like a member of the Jetsons’ housekeeping staff.
8:43 — She is gone. Gone. But she is still there.
8:44 — Gingrich is here. “You believe in the power of ideas.” He is doing his thing of reminding us how very long and slightly he has remained in this amateur badminton championship.
8:47 — This is an AP US History lecture on the most boring chapter of our history, and the students are all drunk and high.
8:49 — Gingrich has declared himself the “tortoise” of this race.
ehhhhhhhhhhh
8:52 — “A long time ago.” “Ideas.” “American history.”
8:54 — “First of all…” It’s been 23 minutes.
8:55 — He would like to conduct “seven three-hour debates” with Obama.
8:56 — Gingrich created a brief maelstrom of Obama heckling by quoting the president as saying, “I’m not really worried about higher gas prices because it will make it harder for me to get reelected.” That kind of makes no sense, but Obama did pretty much say that higher gas prices are a “bad idea for any president looking to get reelected.”
8:57 — He calls Obama’s speeches “so deliciously incoherent.” “And here, also, is an example of delicious incoherence.”
8:58 — ALGAEEEEE. “…[G]o to gas stations with a jar of algae.”
bleeeeerk
Figure 2: The Chinese are on it already.
9:02 — RICK SANTORUM WINS OKLAHOMA WHERE THE FARTS COME SWEEPIN’ DOWN THE PLAIN.
9:04 — Wolf Blitzer may have just said that Mitt Romney won a state called “Orlant,” which sounds like a tasty but deadly butter substitute.
9:07 — CNN dude rightly points out that Gingrich’s speech consisted almost entirely of “I’m this, I’m that,” and nothing about Georgia. But after all, what or where is Georgia?
9:13 — Santorum is currently LEADING in Ohio with such and such amount of the vote. He is two percent ahead of delegate glutton Mitt Romney, but this will probably change, and it’s very important that we go to FARGO again to see who cares about anything.
9:14 — One North Dakota official lady is talking about “a district at large,” where Ron Paul has literally three times the number of votes of the second-place blob, which is Santorum. And by “votes” so far we mean a number of yeses so small you can count them on 12 hands or in Romney’s case two hands. Who is paying for this information to appear on the television? (Mitt Romney.)
9:17 — Santorum is holding a rally in “Stupidville” [fine, Steubenville] Ohio.
9:20 — PARENTS’ NIGHT. Look at what can happen if you have sex once a year and don’t even have to have enjoyed it.
9:22 — Rebecca Black maaaay, may be one of Santorum’s children.
tuesday tuesday gonna get drunk on tuesday
HAY
9:24 — Rick Santorum declares Ohio to be “still too close to call,” and yet here he is, telling us that Freedom is Ending.
9:28 — “Our rights come to us from our creator.” The creator is now rolling in his grave.
9:29 — “Rebecca Black” just looked at Santorum like, “Oh, fuck, I’m outta here, I hate children, including myself.”
9:30 — Can you imagine being this angry at health insurance, at an inanimate object that is just trying to help?
9:31 — Can you imagine?
9:31 — That your life’s work is taking out a restraining order on the government, which is not even stalking you?
9:32 — “We need a fighter…understanding how neighborhoods and families work.” Let us guess how: BAD SEX!
9:32 — “Mom’s hamming it up a little bit over there.”
9:33 — “I’m a little worried about [Rick Santorum]’s mother standing there that whole time” – Wolf Blitzer. But don’t worry, America, “she’s very spry.” Alright. Time for some CLOSE LOOKS. CLOSE L@@KS. And it is time to hand off this tuber to KIRSTEN! Farewell.

About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville

Comments

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  • BarackMyWorld

    Newt using the Hulk Hogan music again…

    • iburl

      I am a real Amer-i-can
      Fight for the rights of all rich men
      I am a real Amer-i-can
      Not an Alin-sky-ite Kenyan!

  • Biff

    I just walked in the door, and Shouty Keith tells me santorum won Tennessee. Fucking Vols.

    • Boojum_Reborn

      Nothing sucks like a Big Orange.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      We're InterNetz gay-married and I'm halfway across the world, and you're CHEERFUL? Srsly, Biffster? SRSLY?

      • Biff

        Resolute, courageous and consistent, also. How goes the walkabout?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          It's been interesting, if exhausting. It's about a 16-18 hour time-difference, and it's been very difficult trying to adapt. But it's very beautiful, if difficult and strange. Did you know that sick people do not like to be told that they're ill and need to rest? On the plus side, the sister has not taken my head off yet. On the minus side, I have never had so much hard physical labour to cope with. No time to go looky-loo yet, but we have plans for when she's feeling a bit better. Although she's driving herself off to strange places without me and I'm not supposed to say anything about it. Siblings can be difficult. I know you know about this because you have a few your own self, yes?

          (Hugs the Biff most fondly) Thanks for being a good pal, Biffz.

          • Biff

            If you get anywhere near Uluru, pour out a 40 in memory of my oldest brother who died there; I never got to go there, myself.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            So sorry to hear that, Biffster. WTH was he doing up in that Aboriginal sacred place? Not trying to convert the natives, one hopes?

            I'm not really holidaying here, so, don't expect to see Uluru, but I will pour out a libation for the dear departed. Were you two very close? (Hugs the Biff) It's tough, innit, losing family? Very sorry about your brother.

          • Biff

            Oh hell no, he was working in Alice Springs building some missile-tracking shit. Just out drinking and driving, which was a family tradition. I survived, he didn't. He was my hero, so it was sad, but also very long ago. See, he was the first to escape our wretched family, and I wanted to be just like him. We were very much alike, after all.

  • SorosBot

    And heeeeeeeeeere's Newtie! And the plastic surgery disaster, who is actually speaking.

    • FakaktaSouth

      She looks like a bottle opener when she talks. I had only seen her open that face once before when they asked her the Lent question. Hawky. bleh.

      • SorosBot

        And she once looked human; now she just looks hideous.

        • FakaktaSouth

          Oh god. Do not make me google before and afters. Dammit. Well, I guess I gotta do something while Newt blathers…on and on with this guy.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Check out the tan on Santa Claus!

  • johnnymeatworth

    …and Sack Of Shit Tuesday continues….

  • chascates

    NPR has a reporter at the Tennessee GOP war room which is actually the Country Music Hall of Fame. Santorum just picked as winner.

  • fuflans

    the south is rising again.

    • user-of-owls

      For the love of god, don't ever mention Newt's boner again.

      • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

        Did he steal some of Rushie's Viagra, or Callista's botox?

        • user-of-owls

          Yes.

          • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

            And our favorite owl splits the double interrogative with a game winning kick.

    • snackypants

      The south is rising on a pool of Santorum.

    • YasserArraFeck

      My gorge is rising again

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Oi! There'll be none of THAT, young man.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Well, its *gorge* is, at any rate.

  • memzilla

    I thought the first rule of Fight Club was nobody talks about Fight Club?

    • johnnymeatworth

      To make soap, first we render fat.

  • BarackMyWorld

    What is this? Wrestlemania III?

    • DoktorThompson

      This is the one where Newtus the Barber Beefcake won the tag team match, no?

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Where are all of Newts adoring kids?

    • BarackMyWorld

      You mean the ones who are the same age as his wife?

  • el_donaldo

    Newt is deeply meditating on a) new wives, b) blowjobs from new wives, or c) maybe using his stump speech to discuss the threat of Sharia to new wives and blowjobs.

    • Barrelhse

      Blow jobs @ $2.50 a gallon?

  • chascates

    Apparently Joe the Dumber is in a House primary in Ohio because of redistricting?

    • ThundercatHo

      I like to call it Republican gerrymandering. JTP will go up against either Marcy Kaptur or Dennis Kucinich in Nov.

  • FakaktaSouth

    He just told Georgians they were all whatever the opposite of elite is and they cheered. Y'all suck! Yay!

    • Biff

      Bless your hearts!

    • Fare la Volpe

      Somethin' ain't right with that boy.

    • Terry

      Well, as this IS the Georgia Republican primary we're talking about, old Newty may have a point. Newt is officially the King of the Dumbfucks.

  • SorosBot

    Newt says that his campaign isn't dead because he managed to win his own state. Way to go!

    • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

      Well, at least he won bigger than Landslide Romney did in Michigan, where all the children are well-behaved and all the trees are the right height.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Except it's not even his own state because he's lived in VA for centuries, and RMONEY won THAT.

  • V572 Flambé

    Newt's after The Elite again. HATE them 'lites.

  • BarackMyWorld

    What was Newt doing in 1958 that it constitutes the beginning of his political career?

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      busting kindergarten unions

    • Pragmatist2

      Masturbating?

    • C_R_Eature

      Fucking his Math teacher in the AV closet?

      • MissNancyPriss

        yeah, that.

    • Barrelhse

      Selling "GRIT".

  • CapnFatback

    In a curious stroke of Diebold comeuppance here in Ohio today, no matter what GOP presidential candidate's box you ticked, the screen read "Obama."

  • rocktonsam

    So this is what Newt's face looks like after sex.

    • Barrelhse

      Wow-he wiped it off quick!

  • Biff

    Hey newt, what's the fucking big idea?

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    But, based upon the movie Deliverance I thought Georgia was the natural home of Santorum.

  • user-of-owls

    It must have cost the Newt-a-mania campaign a heap of money to have those vocal chords implanted in Callista.

    • Barrelhse

      Unnamed sources tell us they simply shoved an old Walkman up her ass.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    It isn't possible that Ohio is smart enough to not vote for any of them, eh?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The GOP was smart enough to not put "none of the above" on the ballot.

  • BarackMyWorld
  • fuflans

    can we stand another round of newt?

    i don't know people, i don't know.

  • SorosBot

    How many times has Newt railed against "the establishment" so far?

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Kenny fucking Powers! (lately, that what that song reminds me of)

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Froth surges over Oklahoma. Aren't tornadoes enough?

    • chascates

      Just take a gander at their two senators. Red faced, Jesusy, and hatin' on the gayz, womenz, and brownz.

      • DoktorThompson

        "Just take a gander at [everyone in the state]. Red faced, Jesusy, and hatin' on the gayz, womenz, and brownz."

        Fixed.

    • C_R_Eature

      Wait till you see those bats.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    I don't have cable or sat, CSPAN is on the radio. I'll be liveblogging "I Hate My Teenage Daughter" here as well.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Newt's chin looks like a puzzle piece..

  • chascates

    "The power of ideas"? Crazy, loony ideas!

  • swizzard

    I think Knute has just started calling Romney "Wall Street"? Which, I thought Wall Street = the Good Guys?

  • BarackMyWorld

    Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, and Mike…

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      the banana splits?

      • BarackMyWorld

        Naming his debate coaches.

        Cool it, nooowwww…

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Bobby, Cindy, Marcia and Greg

      • swizzard

        #donda

    • chascates

      "can you tell me where they've gone?, i thought i saw 'em walkin' up over the hill
      Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, and Mike"

    • Barrelhse

      Times have changed since 'Bob & Carol,Ted & Alice'.

    • Nostrildamus

      Groucho, Harpo, Chico and Zeppo

  • FakaktaSouth

    Oh good lord. Interrupt him again – someone – anyone. I thought Newts were lizards? They're tortoises?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    If I hear Newt say “frankly” one more time I will hunt him down and give a fearsome frown.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Elite. Fundamentally.

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        Them too. :(

    • shrillharpy

      You forgot "clearly." The fucker.

    • Barrelhse

      Newt: I want to be frank with you..
      Callie: No!! I want to be Frank!

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    "santorum surge and all this stuff"

    T

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Eww.. who's that laughing pigman behind Newt?

    • SudsMcKenzie

      Which one?

  • Limeylizzie

    Is that Kenny Rogers behind Callista?

    • chascates

      Is she bent over?

    • C_R_Eature

      I think it's Foster Brooks. Look at the Grin.

    • CapnFatback

      Dunno, but Kenny Rogers Roasters is undoubtedly inside Newt.

  • SorosBot

    That ad that quotes me verbatim insulting Reagan is a total lie!

  • SudsMcKenzie

    I am the Tortoise, you are the Santorum, Kooko Kachoo

    • sarah_connor

      stupid fucking super tuesday

    • Barrelhse

      Goesintight.

  • fuflans

    here is funny shakespeare commentary on republicans:

    And hang a calf's-skin on his recreant limbs.

    (i am multi-tasking blogging and making cuts to 'king john'.)

    • Limeylizzie

      In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.

      ~H. L. Mencken

    • C_R_Eature

      I scorn you, scurvy companion. What, you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away, you moldy rogue, away!

      – Henry IV, part 2

      "All of Them, Katie."

  • Doktor Zoom

    "She is gone. Gone. But she is still there."

    Schroedinger's Third Wife?

    • Barrelhse

      No, that was The Kinks.

  • V572 Flambé

    I don't hate Mitt, or even Lil Ricky. But man I hate this arrogant bloated shitsack.

  • C_R_Eature

    So, so much better with the sound off.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Newt wins one state and you'd think he won the goddamn nomination..

    • C_R_Eature

      I knew that horrible Blow Toad would behave that way. Hence the swift deployment of the MUTE button.

      In a more perfect world, he's be shut in a room full of Napoleons.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        The pastries?

        • Doktor Zoom

          Have you no compassion for those poor pastries?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            Awright, awright, I'll eat 'em my own self.

  • chascates

    Gingrich just said the media, who thought he was dead in the summer, should rethink things now that he won one solitary state.

    • C_R_Eature

      Well, he did win his Home State. Santorum can't say that.

  • SorosBot

    1994 was a positive campaign? Really? I was alive then, and uh; no.

    • DoktorThompson

      It was positively fucking insane.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    It's a chapter in the book of Sheldon Adelson's ideas.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Mitt is a notorious Adelsonian

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    When Newt's leaves the stage will the child janitors come in to clean the ballroom?

  • Schmannnity

    Newt has just sewn up the Travellodge Sleepy bear vote.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Newt is hoping to sew up the Triangle Shirtwaist Manufactory vote…

      • Schmannnity

        On to Pennsylvania and the Homestead Riot vote and then on to Illinois for the Haymarket Riot vote.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Needz WAY MOAR:

      (1) Chest hair; (2) Leather; (3) SEXXXXXXXXAY.

      • C_R_Eature

        Vibrating Beds.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          Why not?

  • Pragmatist2

    Uh- Newt- Speaking for that portion of the "elites" who don't have PhDs, have not been college professors and who have not been Speaker of the House – I may be an "elite" but you, sir, are a loser.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    "… drunk and high."

    check and check.

  • V572 Flambé

    Newt's saying everything in this speech because he isn't going together another chance. Finish, asshole. We need more Tamron time.

  • BarackMyWorld

    For someone so anti-environment, he sure likes to recycle his jokes.

  • SorosBot

    Seven three-hour debates in the Lincoln-Douglas tradition? Really? REALLY?!?

    • BarackMyWorld

      Because the POTUS has 3 hours to waste talking to an idiot.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Not *just* an idiot, but an *insignificant* idiot with no prayer of winning.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    A candidate who's spewing talking points created during the Reagan Administration shouldn't need a teleprompter, Newt.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    Ah, the acid flashback – $2.50/gallon petrol.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Dagnabbed NPR coverage isn't carrying Newt's idiocy live. I am unsure whether this is a bad thing.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      You're not missing anything.
      1. People will soon catch on to his campaign.
      2. He's running against Obama not the other Republicans.
      3. He can reduce the price of gas.
      4. Obama is a Muslim.

    • chascates

      At least the NPR fund drive is over. The PBS one is going on now but fortunately I'm enjoying a special on the Black Death on a digital feed. The Black Death seems pretty timely today.

    • C_R_Eature

      You Lucky Bastard! You Lucky, lucky Bastard! You lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky…

      *SHUT UP*

      sorry.

  • C_R_Eature

    Gingrich is still talking!? Where's a Hippie with a pie when you really need one?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Over here, unfortunately. (Hugs the CRE) Hey, you.

  • DrunkIrishman

    Newt runs a frugal campaign because of all the alimony he's paying.

  • ElPinche

    8:55 : El Pinche rolls a big fat blunt and puts a torch to it. It's Finding Bigfoot time. "That's definitely squatch sign!"

    In many ways squatch is like Reagan. The GOP keeps looking for him . Giant bear poops in the forest gives them hope, but in the end they'll never find him.

    • SudsMcKenzie

      Hey, … Pinche, did you hear that?

      • ElPinche

        Definitely sounded squatchy.

        • Fukui-sanYesOta

          I'll try a call.

  • V572 Flambé

    Newt = $2.50/gallon gasoline…in his dreams.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    Oklahoma called for the frothy one. This campaign isn't going to end anytime soon, is it?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Why do you hate the circus?

      • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

        This is more like the show under the tent where you pay $2 to see a three-headed cow and a bearded woman, except the bearded woman is covered in whore trinkets and sounds like a 84-year-old iron mausoleum gate.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      AHAHAHAHA! No.

  • SorosBot

    The President will never again bow to the Saudi king – but it must be OK if they hold hands with each other.

  • BarackMyWorld

    "I did not make this up."

    In case you were wondering, Newt did make that up.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Shallow and self serving? Seems like that defines Newt.

  • Swampgas_Man

    Waitaminnit, so NOBODY got knocked out of this damned race yet?

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      No, with Frothy winning Tennessee and Oklahoma, Mittens moar, and Paul who never will sit down until son Rand is Veep.

    • SorosBot

      Someone doesn't remember crazy one-L, stupid Perry or gropey Cain.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Here we go, he's gonna talk about algae…

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Email to Newt: The Bobby Jindal Snicker At Funny-Sounding Ideas Thing is not effective.

    • C_R_Eature

      Here, Newt: drink this big beaker of Pfisteria Algae. It's All Natural!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        I'd love to Pfist Newt. With a ten-foot pole, of course.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      I knew Al, and lemme tellya … wut?

      Oh, the green stuff. Carry on, then.

  • SorosBot

    Newt, in his endless, rambling speech, actually has the gall to call Obama incoherent. Projection much?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      People who need teleprompters the most criticize their use. Go figure.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Someone didn't listen to/watch Obama's press conference today.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    "Speaker" Moonbase thinks Obama's speeches are incoherent.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Probably the most coherent, lucid, and inspiring speaker ever to have held the Presidency, but whatevs, I guess this is just the Dunning-Krueger effect in operation.

  • FakaktaSouth

    You really COULD sell tickets to a debate with Pres O for charity Newt, I would buy 10,000. Oh lord to watch this guy get bitch slapped by an ACTUAL intellectual. Be still my heart.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      I'm tellin' ya, girl. I'd sell off half my neighbours to illegal organ-harvesters to get tickets to THAT.

      • HistoriCat

        That does it – I am staying the hell away from your neighborhood!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          Dood, they only want HUMAN organs, you're safe.

    • ttommyunger

      I'm wit you, kid. I'm chubbing up just thinking about it.

  • C_R_Eature

    Has Gingrich brought up his Clever Plan yet?

  • Extemporanus

    I really, really wish that it didn't sometimes take five forlorn minutes for multi-page comment thread posts to refresh (on an iPad). Submitting shitty witticisms in the face of Jim's repeated, unseen, yet belatedly appreciated orders to "get the fuck out there's a new thread you dope" has a way of dulling one's drive to soldier on.

    Also, fuck you, Newt. For starters…

  • ProgressiveInga

    In-co-HAIR-ant?

  • WinterOuthouse

    Who writes these scripts?

    • BarackMyWorld

      He is seriously making this shit up as he goes along, as to not be seen using the dreaded teleprompter.

  • SorosBot

    You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Callista is definitely a replicant.

      • SorosBot

        Yeah, though the need to tweak the design to look more human.

    • C_R_Eature

      Why are you not helping?

    • chascates

      Time to die.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Newt wants to help.

      (Yeah, I posted it twice. Fuck it, I'm drinking)

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Hey Newt, tell the Air force how useless algae is, you hopeless git.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I'm mentioning this awesome Bill Maher quote again:
    "Gas is high cause of tensions with Iran. You can bitch about gas prices, or you can beat the drum for war, but u can't do both."

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Algae??, whats next a Moon Base.

  • C_R_Eature

    Gingrich! You won One Fucking State! Wrap it up!

    • chascates

      It's like giving a drunk an unopened bottle of cheap booze.

      • C_R_Eature

        Yes. Absolutely.

        • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

          But, how would they open it? You should open it for them.

          • C_R_Eature

            No, that would create Moral Hazard. They'll just have to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, apply themselves and figure out how to open it all by themselves. Somehow.

        • NellCote71

          I would go to AA if it would take away the Newt.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            Shit, I'd go to ANYTHING if it would take away the Newt. Forever and ever and EVER.

  • SorosBot

    Please tell us how $2.50 gas is attainable – because it fucking isn't you moron.

    And no, I'm not going to Newt.org no matter how many times you pimp it.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      You just need to want it enough, like new wives.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    With Newtie takin' this long to mark one win, what will we have to deal with when Frothy & Mittens take their bows for each winning a few moar???

    Since this all really is vaudeville, where is the beloved hook?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      All acceptance speeches should be held at the Apollo Theater.

  • OurHoboSenator

    I once saw a movie on the Internets called "Drill here, drill now"

    • NellCote71

      Was the title charged that way on your hotel bill.

  • Limeylizzie

    Fuck off you bloated, condescending, adulterous, porcine bastard!

    • Fare la Volpe

      That is a malicious slander against pigs, madame. Babe, Gordy, and Wilbur will be sending you a sternly worded letter.

    • ttommyunger

      ….but tell us how you really feel, Lizzie.

  • AddHomonym

    Back in my day, gas was eight cents … onions on our belts, etc. etc.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    AZ. Live-blog Update

    Winds diminish after sundown!!

  • BarackMyWorld

    It was $1.89 when Obama took office…And it was $4 the summer before that!

    God, you have to be stupid to agree with this guy.

    • FakaktaSouth

      Yeah, he's totally gonna win Alabama now, I can feel it.

      • Fare la Volpe

        As they say in the 'Bams, "Thank God for Mississippi."

        Oh wait, that's not much better.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    Jeebus weeps, he finally finished.

  • shrillharpy

    Newt gallon? Is that like a cup of Santorum?

  • Doktor Zoom

    True fact: At Mittens' Ohio HQ just now, the crowd was rockin' out to "Play That Funky Music, White Boy."

    • chascates

      Sung by the Swingle Singers?

    • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

      Meanwhile Frothy slid from behind and is now surging ahead of Mittens in the Almost-A-Palindrome-State by 4,000 votes.*

      *One of the few funny things PJ O'Rourke has written.

  • C_R_Eature

    Gingrich! It's not the State of the Union! It'll NEVER be the State of the Union! SHUT UP!!

  • SorosBot

    Finally, finally over. After what seems like many, many hours.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Please continue, Newt.

  • Selfish_T

    Gingrich is really doubling down on this bullshit made-up energy policy thing.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Kenya is making moniez offa the hi gas prices charged by the Muslin in the Whit house!!11!

  • Doktor Zoom

    Newt's a tortoise, huh? Maybe he's THIS tortoise?

    • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

      Today, we are all old reptile-santorum-covered shoes.

  • Slim_Pickins

    On top of everything else, Newt is narcoleptic, who knew besides Callista and when did they know it?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Sleep apnea.

      • Slim_Pickins

        Nah, sleep apnea is completely different, its pauses in breathing or shallow breaths while you sleep. Narcolepsy is a disorder marked by excessive daytime sleepiness, uncontrollable sleep attacks, and cataplexy. All three of which Newt exhibits in the video.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    MSNBC is showing how Newt just lied about what Obama said about gas prices at his press conference. Hey Newt, there's an opening for CEO at the Big Puss-Bag Web Network!

  • C_R_Eature

    Is anyone else out there as drunk as Al Sharpton?

    • AddHomonym

      It would be gauche to get plastered on Syrah, but I am working on it.

    • NellCote71

      No. Unfortunately. Is he as drunk as Diane Sawyer?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Speaking of drunk, wasn't Dean Martin from Steubenville?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Yush.

      • C_R_Eature

        Good.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    OMG, Rev. Al Sharpton accused Newt of self-parody! Was he eatin' the pie, Al?

  • user-of-owls

    Imagine how long the fat little cunt talked as a kid when his mother put one of his grotesque crayon scrawls on the refrigerator.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Too much praise during toilet training.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      " .. so the ELITES, like Mrs Schmitz, claim that cows are not green and cannot be green. That's what they want you to think. However, thanks to my vision and leadership, we now have a green cow as evidenced by this diagram …"

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Look, it's Howard Dean, the reviled and despised author of Democratic majorities in both chambers in 2008! Persona non grata!

  • Doktor Zoom

    Stupidville Ohio?

    • ThundercatHo

      Everywhere outside of Cleveland.

  • user-of-owls

    Oh for the love of christ, now we have to listen to the founder of the Woman Haters Club?

  • OurHoboSenator

    The truth is we finished counting the votes in Ohio an hour ago. We're just sitting on the results because we're huge drama queens, and we live for this. Sorry, America.

  • savethispatient

    I think Santorum just said he is speaking from "Stupidville, Ohio"

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    I wouldn't refer to the town as 'Stupidville', Rick.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Santorum is in Stupidville!

  • user-of-owls

    What's Slimfast Monica Lewinsky doing behind Frothy?

  • FakaktaSouth

    Look at me in the Janitor's closet!!!! Am I an idiot or what??? Woooo Real People!!!! what is WRONG WITH THESE GUYS???

  • Doktor Zoom

    We're in a high school gymnasium–which is all the farther anyone should ever take their education if they truly love God and America!

    • user-of-owls

      High school?!? Fucking snob!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    I would do Santorum's wife before I would do Callista. She'd totally go for it too, if I dressed up as a kindly, older OB/Gyn.

    • BarackMyWorld

      They're no Cindy McCain, though.

    • Limeylizzie

      As would I.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        You'd do Santorum's wife, or you'd do me if I dressed up as as an old doctor?

        • Limeylizzie

          You, baby, you.

  • OurHoboSenator

    K93: Steubenville's soft rock hits

  • Data Exactly

    According to my sources, Newt Gingrich passed 50% in Georgia, so nobody can take it from him. As if anybody wanted Georgia. Gingrich can have it.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    …brother-cousins and uncle-sisters

    • chascates

      Where marriage is between one man and his 15-year-old cousin.

  • BarackMyWorld

    You're going to lose a whole lot more than a "few", Rick.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Gold medals, silver medals…this is a very Special Olympics for Ricky.

  • shrillharpy

    Waiting for Santorum's version of the Dean Scream!

  • DustBowlBlues

    Hello. This is the 123rd. voter (as of 6:00) in my county. We had a chicken-shit Republic who ran against Obama along with a robo call asking me to give the baby killing etc. (it's the Dust Bowl. You can fill in the rather gory details yourselves.You've heard it all before.

    Now Rick is speaking. I wish Newt would start crawling the other way and give this right-wing scary fucker a chance. WTF? Sweater vest won Tennessee–a state too long with too many vowels.

    The end.

    • chascates

      Why do you hate America?

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Now Frothy wants us to believe he is from Southern Ohio and West Virginia, too?

    • chascates

      It's called either the 'coal belt' or 'nut buckle'.

  • C_R_Eature

    Santorum: Eve-ry Sperm is Saaaa-cred, Eve-ry Sperm is Great! If a Sperm gets Wasted, God gets Quite Irate!

  • BarackMyWorld

    "The woman who makes babies for me…"

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Did Ricky just call his wife his "Mom"??

    • Biff

      Worked for reagan…

  • ProgressiveInga

    It's impossible to miss the distinctive "Santorum Forehead" on the msbnc feed right now.

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Karen has a big forehead, too. Those kids were doomed to have fiveheads.

    • mayor_quimby

      I wonder if that family has passed the 'too fugly to reproduce' threshold, but then I think of a homeschooler yearbook and I can safely say no. Somebody's gonna mate with these big waterhead fuckers, who knows why.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Wasn't Sarah Maria the one in that hilarious picture?

    • user-of-owls

      No, that was one of the boats that Columbus was on, you know, with the Pinta and the Nina.

      • chascates

        I thought Sarah Maria was the whore in a spaghetti western.

        • user-of-owls

          No, no, you're thinking of Maria la Puta. That was the role that made Lupe Vélez famous.

    • mayor_quimby

      Can anybody explain the pregnant looking daughter(?) next to Dick Froth?
      http://www.renewamerica.com/images/columns/111224

      • chascates

        Bristolized?

    • BarackMyWorld

      I think so.

      Here's a helpful guide to probably which is which, based on ages… http://2012.republican-candidates.org/Santorum/Ch

  • user-of-owls

    Where's the Thousand Mile Stare son? Is he up in the clock tower again?

  • Biff

    What the fuck does ANY of this shit have to do with running for President, ricky?

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Elizabeth Santorum keeps looking directly at ME.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      Looking at her eyes, it looks like She1ey may be doing some channeling.

    • ThundercatHo

      Try moving around the room and see if her eyes follow you, if so, shoot the wall under your tv set.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Santorum's family is incomplete without some fetuses.

  • shrillharpy

    Just introduced his fam. Where's his daughter with the doll and matching outfits? LUVS HER!

    • BarackMyWorld

      Sadly, she's like 14 by now.

      • shrillharpy

        Is she the one in the glasses? They all still sport that creepy "Children of the Corn" look. Can't tell. Regardless, Rick's still a raging asshat.

  • Limeylizzie

    Is this a concession speech?

    • C_R_Eature

      I wish.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Does the East Wing even have enough rooms for all these kids of his?

  • C_R_Eature

    Santorum: Let's get all the children up here! That's right, Buckaroos! Drive that herd on up here! Hyah! Yee Ha! Yip Yip Yip!

  • Doktor Zoom

    Yes, Rick. Defeating Obama is JUST LIKE WORLD WAR II.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Santorum is 53. Are his parents really old enough to have fought in WWII? Or are they the greatest just because they gave birth to him?

    • chascates

      His dad was a returning deceased war veteran and his mom was a child bride.

    • Biff

      Mother is 93, so do the math and remember how older women whelp some fucked up kids.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      I'm a year younger than him, and my Dad fought in WWII, so yes, it's not out of the question.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        After I asked that I looked it up.It does seem that his father was old enough.

  • Limeylizzie

    His family is really strange.

    • user-of-owls

      Of course they are, did you see that shriveled ball of hate that is "Mom"?

      • Limeylizzie

        She looks so sad, I feel a bit sorry for her, actually. Hi there Beloved Owls BTW.

        • Extemporanus

          The Jewish boy next to Santorum seems to be enjoying himself, though.

        • user-of-owls

          Hellos to you, dear old thing. I've missed you.
          **whirrrr**

          • Limeylizzie

            Missed you too, welcome home.

          • Extemporanus

            Can I borrow that vibrator when you're done with it?

            These sexxxy speeches are making me want to ear rape myself.

  • Biff

    Obamacare! Drink!

  • C_R_Eature

    Leeches. PUT THE LEECHES ON HIM! FOR FREEDOM!!

  • Doktor Zoom

    As we all know, expanding health insurance is EXACTLY how most great nations have fallen.

  • AddHomonym

    Don't look to the government to change things, elect me and I will change things!

  • OurHoboSenator

    As someone stuck in a job I hate because of a pre-existing condition, FUCK YOU, Rick.

  • Biff

    Who is at home caring for Baby Bella? Some government employee caretaker, I'd bet.

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      They're all wearing Bella pins, so it's okay.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      He claims their insurance has no coverage for her to have home care.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      For those who don't already know, Rick Santorum pays $100K p.a. for "home health care" aides for little Bella.

      For those of us who might have relatives at home who could use a little of that, y'all are SHIT OUTA LUCK, fuckers.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    One of Rick's kids is a Jewish boy at his bar mitzvah. He seems bored, also.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      He has seven living children and his financial statements say he has five college funds. So two of them aren't going. One is Bella. The other?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Doesn't he have some other female child he doesn't want to groom for "over-educated" slutty prostitution?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    This (Santorum's speech) is getting creepy

  • user-of-owls

    He's right, you know. Last year when I broke my leg I looked to my neighbor for help.

    Sure, he told me to fuck off, but at least the government didn't "have me."

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    They're living off their savings?! Gag me.

  • C_R_Eature

    "Kids, I sent all o'your College money to that nice Preacher man who was screwin' that Hockey player."

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Reagan. Drink!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Reagan! Drink!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Great minds, Grump.

  • Biff

    Reagan again! Drink!

  • BarackMyWorld
  • NellCote71

    Reagan. Drink.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    Jeebus wrote the Constitution? Second Amendment too?

  • C_R_Eature

    I like how Santorum accents the CUNT when he says "CUNTry".

  • Limeylizzie

    I am trying to decide which of these morons I hate the most.

    • gullywompr

      Ahem…. "All of them Katie".

    • fuflans

      depends on who's doing the most talking.

    • ttommyunger

      Why fucking bother?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Rick: "Obama is a top! But America is a bottom!"

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Did they rehearse that gasp?

  • Doktor Zoom

    The Founding Fathers pledged their lives, their honor, and their sacred trust to ensuring that Americans would be free to go bankrupt after a health care emergency.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Rick: "The Government's heavy hand is shoving your head toward the big, black cock of mandatory health insurance!!"

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      That's *exactly* how it sounds, when he sez it.

      C'mere, CUNTry, and take mah TWELVE INCHES of meat.

  • Biff

    When I was governor?

    • BarackMyWorld

      Governor of the blah people.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    OMG, he just started to say he was a governor.

    • SudsMcKenzie

      He was the "Governor" of that mens locker room he just walked out off.

  • FakaktaSouth

    The Pavlovian effect in these folks is so amazing. They can absolutely take the most mundane things in the world and make these people INSANE about them. Gnashing teeth over health care policy is fucking crazy. I like my crazy smart. Stupid crazy sucks balls.

    • ttommyunger

      But it is much easier; not having to deal with all that thinky stuff and all…..

  • Doktor Zoom

    Frankly, I've never accomplished much of anything. So vote for me!

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Government control? Like the first goddamn thing you wouldn't do would be to overturn Roe v. Wade. I guess government control is fine and dandy when it's a theocracy. Fucking prick.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Republicans don't want the government to interfere with your healthcare, unless they want the government to interfere with your healthcare.

  • BarackMyWorld

    "…accept coverage that violates your religious conscience…"

    TEH GUVMENT'S GONNA FORCE YOU TO SWALLOW BIRF CONTROL PILLZ!!!!111one

  • http://www.wonkette.com Chillatte

    Is Rick really gonna win Ohio? O Frother Where Art Thou???

  • Doktor Zoom

    I will never apologize–in fact, if elected, I will burn Korans every day!

  • C_R_Eature

    Again,,,the Individual Mandate was a Heritage Foundation idea you Disingenuous piece of Contaminated Froth, you.

    • Doktor Zoom

      The Heritage Foundation? That bunch of Alinskyites!

      • C_R_Eature

        Commie Scum!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Dear Republicans,
    Really?
    MG

  • Doktor Zoom

    The Greatest Generation did pretty well going to elitist snobby colleges on the GI Bill…and having a top tax rate of over 60% on the wealthiest…and they didn't have to rely on the Government to win WWII!

  • C_R_Eature

    Dick Rick before he Dicks you!

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    Looks like Frothmeister 3000 might well win Florida.

    Here's CNN's breakdown of vote by race

    White Romney 39% Santorum 36%
    (96%)

    Black NA because sample too small
    (1%)

    Other NA because sample too small
    (3%)

  • NellCote71

    So, is this where we add Greatest Generation to the drinking game?

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      and let's add "freedom", "government" and "obamacare"

      it's the only way to be sure

  • OurHoboSenator

    Mike DeWine! Smoke a marijuana-laced banana whenever he is on the screen.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Yeah dude with the sick daughter you never see because you're chasing this bullshit around – tell me all about sacrificing ANY thing for another person, much less your life for your country.

    • ttommyunger

      No, no, you misunderstand, it's YOUR life he's willing to sacrifice. Get a grip!

  • user-of-owls

    Yes, you do "keep coming back." Like a bad batch of clam linguine.

    • C_R_Eature

      That is No Fun. take it from me.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Linguine con Vongole! Wiv BACTERIA! Yummers!

        Vongole … oh~
        Oh, canta – BARF!

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Please stop coming back. All of you.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Rebecca Black is actually the one that was crying in that classic Santorum photo we all know and love..

  • fuflans

    npr is telling me health care is going to be santorum's wedge issue to attack romney.

    gross.

    • chascates

      He'll come from behind.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    Well looks like Frothy has a hat trick with Tennessee, Oklahoma, and North Dakota. In Ohio he may face another hat trick with the Cleveland Steamer, Cincinnati Surprise, and Toledo Bow Tie. Not doing so well in the cities Ricky.

  • chascates

    Liz, you're getting more comments than the previous editors. Take tomorrow off. Enjoy.

  • Biff

    Those two older daughters?

    Oh HELL yes.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      What, even the slimfast monica lewinsky (thanks owls!) whose face looks like a penny glued to a triangle of Laughing Cow cheese?

      • Biff

        I'm easy.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        La Vache qui Rit! We used to eat those horrible things, on Jacobs' Cream Crackers, ew.

        That, and Marie biscuits for tea.

  • C_R_Eature

    Rachel Maddow almost said "What a Long Strange Trip it's Been."

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      That's my kind of analysis.

    • Barrelhse

      Truck-nutz, got my chips cashed in..

  • fuflans

    npr is also telling me mittens has flip flopped on health care.

    this is the kind of coverage i turn to the tv for npr.

    and fucking put matt continetti out to pasture.

  • Limeylizzie

    TPMLivewire
    09:35 PM EST
    Kucinich, Kaptur Neck And Neck In Ohio
    Results are trickling in for the Democratic Primary between Reps. Dennis Kucinich and Marcy Kaptur in Ohio's 9th District. With 16% of precincts reporting, Kaptur has 51% of the vote and Kucinich has 45%.

  • CapnFatback

    If Rebecca Black is indeed Santorum's daughter, we now know the answer to the "front seat/back seat" conundrum.

    • C_R_Eature

      Back seat. Where do you think all those Kids came from, Eh?

  • Biff

    Less than 20 minutes until Justified. Watching Timothy Oliphant waste some hillbillies always makes me smile.

    • C_R_Eature

      I'm hooked, too. Good stories.

  • user-of-owls

    The Government is evil!
    The Government is vile!
    The Government is your enemy!

    Elect me to run The Government!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      They just don't seem to get the disconnect there, do they?

  • NellCote71

    I hate it when Rachel gets all serious journalism-y and not her usual snarky self.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    I hate to say it, but Santorum's wife vaguely resembles Elizabeth Edwards.

    • Barrelhse

      Too soon?

  • fuflans

    here is more evidence that shakespeare new some republicans:

    "Thou odouriferous stench! sound rottenness!
    Thou hate and terror to prosperity"

    • C_R_Eature

      Thou] sanguine coward, [thou] bed-presser, [thou] horseback-breaker, [thou] huge hill of flesh!
      -Henry IV, part I

      Gingrich? Limbaugh? Both?

  • Biff

    Shut up Rachel, so we can hear what "poor in spirit" Ann has to say!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Nobody on MSNBC gives a flying fuck what Ann Romney is saying!

  • chascates

    New thread!!!

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    OK, for Mitt's speech: down every drink in the house if he mentions France

  • Wadisay

    Ann Romney: nobody knows the truffles she's seen.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    I love how msnbc is talking over "Two Caddys".

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Is that Tag Heuer Romeny standing over on the left looking like George Stephanopopolopolopalus?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      I thought it was "George Stephanopopoulosnuffleupagus." No?

  • fuflans

    oh noes i cannot listen to romney and tagg.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    go mitt go. go mitt go. go mitt go. Are they hypnotized?

    • Nostrildamus

      10 PRINT "GO MITT"
      20 GOTO 10

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        That's so BASIC.

        • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

          IF MITT = PERSON
          SYNTAX ERROR

  • Biff

    How are the trees, mittens? Too tall? Too short?

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Night of the Background Pigmen

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Oh-weeeeeeeeeenk!

  • Extemporanus
    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
      come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!

  • DustBowlBlues

    Come on, Mittens. Are the trees in Mass the right or wrong height?

  • http://gawker.com Jim Newell

    GO TO KIRSTEN'S BLOG POST NOW YOU DONKEYS
    http://wonkette.com/465969/super-tuesday-liveblog

    • Extemporanus

      Thank you, sir.

  • C_R_Eature

    There's some sort of terrible Disney Anamitronic talking robot on my teevee screen but it's saying nonsense, like those Presidents in…oh wait, that's Mittens.
    Never mind.

  • Wadisay

    They're chanting their companies' ticker symbols at the Romney rally.

  • C_R_Eature

    Romney, for real now, just almost said: "In 2012, we're gonna get him (Obama) out of the Outhouse".

  • ttommyunger

    "This will not stand": Tortoise Anti-Defamation League.