Joe The Plumber May Become Congressman The Plumber

Before being a "job creator" was even a thing, Joe the Plumber bravely and famously confronted then-Senator Barack Obama to carp about problems from his made-up financial future as one of these as-yet unheard of "job creators." Now this same angrily prescient heartland shaman is only months away from unfettered bitch session access to his old pal Barack, during which he will get to complain about more fictional concerns, only this time based on America's made-up financial future! Yes, Joe the Plumber, our favorite unflushable from 2008, successfully completed the difficult transition from child star to adult entertainer, and won last night's Republican primary in Ohio's 9th congressional district, using the more matoor-sounding stage name "Joe Wurzelbacher." JOE THE PLUMBER IS BACK YAY FOR POLITICS!

Let us defer to the local teevee news:  

Samuel Wurzelbacher gained the nickname "Joe the Plumber" for expressing working-class concerns about taxes to then-candidate Barack Obama during a stop to the region.

The Toledo-area plumber defeated Steve Kraus, a Sandusky real estate agent, early Wednesday to grab the GOP nomination in Ohio's 9th Congressional District.

Joe will now face the lady who defeated former Elf King Dennis Kucinich in the Democratic primary, and lose, thus saving America's global street cred, for a few more milliseconds. Just in case, though, please find a suicide pact "buddy" in the comments below. [ Ohio News Network ]