WARBLOGGING  6:25 pm March 6, 2012

Liveblogging The Superest Tuesday: Probably The End For Newt Gingrich, Right?

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Goodnight Nurse!Hey why has Your Wonkette done so many Newt Gingrich posts all day forever? Because we doubt we’ll have Ol’ Newt to kick around anymore, and we miss the mean old bastard already. He’s been in a funk for weeks (years?) now, and without those recharging trips to Greece, he has just been a sour bag of mush (and not the kind of sour mush that riles his easily rileable moron base).

Goodbye, Newt! Goodbye forever, we’re sure!

OR ARE WE? Here is a chart of Tennessee, from TalkingPointsMemo, which fills our hearts with gladness! Go Newt Go!
Tennessee. T-t-t-t-tennessee

Anyway, let’s start this bitch!

6:23 PM — Oh, FOX is laughing at Noobama for claiming credit for added oil production when it took place on “state lands” and “private lands,” because you can not talk about oil imports going down if you are a Dem? Your editrix is sorry already that she has sold her soul to the teevee news succubus. LORDY LORDY what was she thinking?

6:26 PM — Thank God there is a commercial already. CNN and MSNBC too. HOORAY for CAPITALISM! Never did anyone appreciate advertising as much as your editrix, this second, when faced with all this goddamn bloviating.

6:31 — Rachel Maddow is back on. She will soothe our savage breast.

6:32 — Oh good a full half hour till the first results of the night, and now Maddow is back to commercial as well. Perhaps there are some websites with, say, exit polls, or politihacks explainifying for us rubes, about the votin’. We will go and try to find one, brb.

6:36 — What say you, Politico.com? Not helpful!

6:37 — Lego tractor-driving-man Brett Bair has a pretty lady on, but there is an exciting twist: her hair is brown.

6:38 — Who will get the delegates and how will they get the delegates and if Mitt Romney gets the majority of the delegates …. “On the flipside, Juan, 67 % of the delegates still on the table after tonight!” That is a flipside! For RON PAUL!!1!!!!

6:40 — Dudes be so jealous, Kirsten Boyd Johnson is coming over to my living room, and she is bringing WINE. Then we are going to braid each other’s hair and have PILLOW FIGHTS.

6:45 — Aw, Richard Simmons wrote you a nice thing! Thanks, Richard Simmons!

6:48 — Hey, can someone check if we “broke” the press release news about the hooker website that wants to advertise on Rush Limbaugh? If so, there’s a twitter meme we need to get our royalties from.

6:52 — Okay, fixed it!

6:57 — Pre-returns liveblogging is stupid. What did you think you were gonna get, a Fat Tuesday Fuckfest? WRONG.

6:58 — Blah blah Iran. Girls do not care about Iran. We care about stomping on Darrell Issa’s arsonist heart. (Sorry Obamz, but at the moment every XX is a single-issue voter.)

7:00 — NEWTTTTTTTT! SHEPPPPPPP! NEwT!!!!!!!!!!

7:03 — FOX tool still claiming Romney has the momentum because he won the last five? Sure, maybe, don’t know don’t care to check, but they claimed the same thing when Santorum won Iowa, and all the other ones, and whatever. Psht. I still kinda love Shep Smith, though, don’t tell Commie Mom she gets so MAD!

7:16 — Rachel calls Virginia for Mittens. ReLOVEution #FAIL.

7:17 — Show us a map, CHUCK. What’s on the map, CHUCK.

7:18 — Chuck says erm, Romney with a bunch of Ohio? TOO TALKY, CHUCK. STOP EXPLAINING AND JUST LABEL THAT SHIT. TRYING TO LIVEBLOG AND FOLLOW THe tWIttERX. Also, beer. I’M “Stumpedville,” CHUCK.

7:19 — Know who Commie Mom hates? (Actually, she hates Rachel Maddow, for being repetitious, don’t tell anyone.) But you know who else she hates? Ed Schultz. Because of how on his radio show he would run the name together like so: Edshutshow. She has a low tolerance for mush-mouth, Commie Mom.

7:20 — Anybody won anything else lately? No? BRB, mama needs a smoke.

7:28 — Ooh, on FOX: our boyfriend, Ed Rollins, who is hilarious and talks so much pious shit about how everyone ELSE is all full of shit. Lemme find you a link.

Oh, did you know that Jim has a liveblog here? Mama’s done for now, MINIONS.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 223 comments }

Barb March 6, 2012 at 6:28 pm

I'm going to miss Newt like a cold sore.

Tilley March 6, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Like an ingrown toenail.

FROTHY March 6, 2012 at 7:20 pm

So .. how much DO you galz miss that kinda stuff, anywho?

Barb March 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Hey Hobbes, I'm on my way out the door to a business dinner with Pokey. I will catch up with you later and after some cocktails.

Tilley March 6, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Frothy darling! How's it going?

FROTHY March 7, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Hey there, beautiful! Things are incredibly tough. I guess no one can prepare you for these things, although goodness knows you tried, dear friend. On the plus side, my sister's HR mgr went through something similar, and gave her good advice, so she was somewhat prepared. My sister's always been a tall skinny type, but I was frankly horrified to see how much weight she lost. She's had to have all her clothes taken in. And there are more visits to the doctor, more tests, and possibly, more surgery. Dear sweet good Nothingisamiss is sending prayers to the deity for my sister. I couldn't ask for more. What wonderful people are these Wonketteerz, to send so much love and good wishes! We try to keep spirits up all around. That's all we can do. (Hugs the Tilley) Thanks so much for everything. I will see her surgeon next week and have a WORD, as they say in these parts.

emmelemm March 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Herpes.

Nostrildamus March 6, 2012 at 9:11 pm

I'm going to miss Newt like an ex-wive. Or two.

tessiee March 7, 2012 at 12:21 am

Gallstones hurt like a motherfucker, but at least they go away eventually, so not like gallstones.

Callyson March 6, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Note to self: no more Tuesday night classes until after the election. Am missing out on way too much fun.

memzilla March 6, 2012 at 6:30 pm

♪ ♫ Newt-Newt-Newtsie, goodbye! Newt-Newt-Newtsie, don't cry… ♪ ♫

edgydrifter March 6, 2012 at 6:30 pm

I see Perry is polling strong with Tennessee's Alamo re-enactment cosplayers.

SmutBoffin March 6, 2012 at 6:31 pm

…and Ron Paul stayed flat.

arihaya March 6, 2012 at 7:08 pm

there can be only that much of Paultard in the world

FROTHY March 6, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Dui, ma?

MissTaken March 6, 2012 at 6:31 pm

I keep looking at that graph but all I see is a rainbow of fruit flavors which is actually a very accurate description of the GOP primary field.

Chichikovovich March 6, 2012 at 7:33 pm

The two things I take from that graph are 1) A tsunami of negative ads works big-time, at least if the subject of the ads has as many negatives as Rick Santorum. 2) Every single vote that Romney dislodges from Santorum goes to one of the other not-Romneys. Check out Newt's exponential rise coupled with the down-the-alps tumble of Santorum and the much smaller but still noticeable dip of Romney.

BarackMyWorld March 6, 2012 at 6:33 pm
BTWBFDIMHO March 6, 2012 at 6:52 pm

She stops anytime Obama comes back. Is she the Obama Girl?

not that Dewey March 6, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Michele Bachmann appears in the legend, but not in the graph. Is that a metaphor for something?

Tundra Grifter March 6, 2012 at 7:33 pm

ntD:

She's only a legend in her own mind.

Maman March 6, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Doesn't almost all of the oil come from private lands thus explaining the arguments about the Gulf of Mexico and the Arctic Refuge? Or has my stroke started?

SorosBot March 6, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Even if we don't have Newt Gingrich around anymore, we'll still kick him.

Swampgas_Man March 6, 2012 at 7:41 pm

The best time to kick a man is when he's down and you can make sure he won't get up again.

Loaded_Pants March 6, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Since he's now been a Very Important GOP Presidential Candidate (VIGOPPC, pronounced like the sound of throwing up) he will always stick around so we can kick him.

Nopantsmcgee March 6, 2012 at 6:37 pm

I look forward to getting Santorum behind us.
Wait…

FROTHY March 6, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Um, no.

BarackMyWorld March 6, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Watching MSNBC…Every time someone says "Game change," Mark Halperin gets a nickle.

emmelemm March 6, 2012 at 7:26 pm

I think you mean five bees for a quarter.

Rotundo_ March 6, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Can I give him my nickle with a slingshot?

Chillatte March 6, 2012 at 6:37 pm

♪ ♫ Goodbye Newtie Tuesday ♫ ♪

tessiee March 7, 2012 at 12:23 am

Who could stand the sight of you?
You change wives with every new day,
No one's gonna miss you.

Tundra Grifter March 6, 2012 at 6:38 pm

For Ole Newt is hasn't been about votes or delegates for quite some time.

It's been about vanity, ego, and SuperPAC money. Three things he hasn't been short of.

As long as the casino dollars inflate him like a hotair balloon he'll keep running. Otherwise he has to go back to giving crappy speeches, writing crappy books, and peddling crappy half-baked history DVD's, begging for airtime and trying desperately to get people to pay attention to him.

He set himself up by being very sure he was going to "win" in Georgia, and then going around saying "It's do or die" like he was Joe Namath before Super Bowl III.

Ole Newt shot a hole in a large blank piece of paper, drew a bullseye around it, and is now crowing he hit the center of the target.

Doktor Zoom March 6, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Oh, I misread that first line as "Foul Ole Newt."

Buggrit. Millennium hand and shrimp! I told 'em, I did!

ShaveTheWhales March 6, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Old Foul Newt, plz.

tessiee March 7, 2012 at 12:24 am

"shot a hole in a large blank piece of paper, drew a bullseye around it, and is now crowing he hit the center of the target."

Enjoyed this. Will steal.

Tundra Grifter March 7, 2012 at 1:23 pm

tessiee:

You're welcome to it! I adapted it from a joke I heard years ago.

I wish more of it were original.

imissopus March 6, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Rebecca, a tip: make one of your East Coast minions take the first shift for these sorts of events. It's only 3:30 in CA, you're going to put your head through your TV well before all the results are in.

HistoriCat March 6, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Exactly – you're going to burn yourself out at that pace. Look what it did to Ken!

Although if Kirsten is coming over, maybe the two of them will be taking a break later on.

imissopus March 6, 2012 at 6:58 pm

That pic on the FB widget over there —————————>

…that goes with the Studs Terkel story? That's Ken and it was taken the day the sale closed!

Also Rush Limbaugh demands Rebecca and KBJ make a video of this "break."

HistoriCat March 6, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Don't make me find any point of agreement with Rushbo!

johnnymeatworth March 6, 2012 at 6:40 pm

"Newt, Newt, he's our man!/Flush his fat ass down the can!"

and BTW, please feel free to use the phrase "goddamn bloviating" as much as possible.

SayItWithWookies March 6, 2012 at 6:40 pm

It'll be sad to see ol' Newt go — but our loss is Freddie Mac's gain.

chascates March 6, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Soon Newt will be on teevee making commercials for reverse-mortgage companies and mail order vitamins.

johnnymeatworth March 6, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Not to mention Cialis–"even works if she has The Cancer!"

FROTHY March 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm

AGAIN?

tessiee March 7, 2012 at 12:25 am

Grecian Formula or GTFO.

Maman March 6, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Will you be having pillow fights in babydoll pajamas? or are you going to do makeovers?

Barrelhse March 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

And we get to watch the tapes, right?

MissTaken March 6, 2012 at 6:44 pm

I wonder if Newt has explained to Callista that he is a massive failure and they will not be moving into the White House. Since her face does not move there's no way to know.

SorosBot March 6, 2012 at 6:49 pm

And he promised he'd be in the White House someday in his SeekingArrangements.com profile.

Generation[redacted] March 6, 2012 at 6:54 pm

"As seen on the Rush Limbaugh show!"

Rotundo_ March 6, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Maybe it's like Captain Pike on the the first Star Trek, only instead of lights she taps out once for yes and twice for no. Maybe morse code? The rest of her face cannot move so grunting in morse code?

tessiee March 7, 2012 at 12:28 am

The many moods of Callista:
: – | happy
: – | sad
: – | angry
: – | thoughtful
: – | horny (because she's checking out the gardeners again)

Etc. etc.

Limeylizzie March 6, 2012 at 6:44 pm

I am so excited for the Liveblogging, I clearly have no life.

Maman March 6, 2012 at 6:47 pm

I don't either, but I will be missing chunks to cart ungrateful teens around. sigh.

Tilley March 6, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Yah, me neither. Wonkette liveblogging and a shakerful of Cosmos is about as exciting as life gets for this rapidly aging Boomer hippie.

Nopantsmcgee March 6, 2012 at 6:44 pm

He'll be able to spend more time with his children laborers.

Limeylizzie March 6, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Is it wrong to find Michael Steele very attractive?

BarackMyWorld March 6, 2012 at 6:47 pm

He looks like a middle-aged Humpty Hump.

Limeylizzie March 6, 2012 at 6:52 pm

True, but he looks as if he would smell really nice, not in a cologney-way but in a masculine, clean . soapy way.

MissTaken March 6, 2012 at 6:57 pm

I know what you mean, and the man can dress.

Limeylizzie March 6, 2012 at 7:00 pm

No kidding, he has some gorgeous suits and he's so masculine and big, I wonder how tall he is.

BarackMyWorld March 6, 2012 at 7:17 pm

You're saying you'd like to get busy in a Burger King bathroom?

MissTaken March 6, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Only after drinking a bottle of Hennessy I got on my shelf.

emmelemm March 6, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Yes! True dat.

C_R_Eature March 6, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Not if you're Michael Steele.

Well, it's OK for you. too.

Limeylizzie March 6, 2012 at 6:59 pm

I think I could bring him over to the light and the side of reason.

C_R_Eature March 6, 2012 at 7:31 pm

If you can, Lizzie, I am empowered to award you the Silk Be-ribboned Most High Solid Gold Five Pointed Star Medallion of Conversion to you.

This one's never been awarded, but I know you can do it.

Limeylizzie March 6, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Why thanks, Creature, I bet I could do it and would enjoy the fight.

elfgoldsackring March 6, 2012 at 6:56 pm

It may be all kinds of wrong, but baby it just feels so right.

Limeylizzie March 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

I bet he likes to laugh in bed and is up for some hijinks.

imissopus March 6, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Fo' shibble bibble.

shrillharpy March 6, 2012 at 7:03 pm

I only see the Michael Steele muppet that they trot on the Daily Show.

FROTHY March 6, 2012 at 7:26 pm

I would say it's more like an indication of irreversible brain or eye damage.

Tilley March 6, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Naw, the man's good-looking enough, just too — um — what's the word? Oleaginous? Yes, that's it. Too oleaginous. I love it when I get to use that word.

tessiee March 7, 2012 at 12:31 am

You've inspired me to look it up; it means flattering in that smarmy, oily way, like Eddie Haskell: "My, what a lovely housedress, Mrs. Cleaver".

FROTHY March 7, 2012 at 6:16 pm

I love a woman who can use "oleaginous" correctly. (Kisses the Tilley fervently)

BarackMyWorld March 6, 2012 at 6:46 pm

If Gingrich doesn't get out soon, I'm buying into the theory that Sheldon Adelson is paying for Gingrich to stay in the race to cock-block Santorum.

SorosBot March 6, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Michael Steele's saying the GOP candidates are destroying themselves with their fear of pissing off Rush Limbaugh and his fans on MSBC.

BarackMyWorld March 6, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Michael Steele is Chairman of the Obvious National Committee.

C_R_Eature March 6, 2012 at 6:49 pm

I think that This should be the Theme Song for tonight and perhaps the whole depraved spectacle of this Republican Silly Season.

fuflans March 6, 2012 at 8:29 pm

yes.

C_R_Eature March 6, 2012 at 8:31 pm

It speaks to me. These days.

ShaveTheWhales March 6, 2012 at 11:24 pm

"Maybe you are him…"

Damn, I miss Warren.

C_R_Eature March 6, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Me too. He and Hunter wold have had a field day with this crowd.

Blueb4sunrise March 6, 2012 at 6:50 pm

If Kirstin is there with Rebecca, who is this here that claims to be Kirsten? She said that she drove 800 miles just to be with me.

C_R_Eature March 6, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Don't you know about The Clones?

Blueb4sunrise March 6, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Never mind, it was UPS.

MissTaken March 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Is she letting you keep your black socks on? If so you have a "Kristen", not "Kirsten".

chascates March 6, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Will Sarah Palin make an endorsement after tonight or will she still want to 'help' a brokered convention?

Troglodeity March 6, 2012 at 6:58 pm

She's apparently not good at happy endings.

chascates March 6, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Or at half-way points for that matter.

BlueStateLibel March 6, 2012 at 6:55 pm

I'll be following this closely whilst watching old episodes of "Destination Truth" – Josh and the team go hunting in the wild cornfields of the Middle Western U.S. for the rarest of the rare wild beasts, a sane, non-diabetic Republican!

Pop_Socket March 6, 2012 at 6:55 pm

NotRomneys are still beating Romney by a 3:2 margin.

Beowoof March 6, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Newt don't go, you bring a level of entertaining hypocrisy to the race that will be hard for the others to duplicate. And with your multiple marriages you truly are the man to represent guys such as Rush Limpbaugh.

BTWBFDIMHO March 6, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Rebecca and Kirsten in the same living room? Can I go and prepare dinner tonight? I was thinking mayhaps a seafood risotto…

Troglodeity March 6, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Doesn't matter that we're a net exporter of oil for the first time in forever, or that Obama has deported as many illegal immigrants in 3 years as Bush did in 8 (and filed criminal charges against 10 times as many employers of illegal immigrants). Because Obama's black, so there.

FROTHY March 6, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Well … I thought you KNEW that. I mean, isn't that how it's SUPPOSED to be?

chascates March 6, 2012 at 6:58 pm

And, earlier this afternoon:
Limbaugh also ripped Obama for saying that it is not his job to arbitrate comments made by politicians and pundits, charging, “You did! You just commented on me! He says he leads by example, [but] he called tea party supporters tea baggers knowing full well what an insult it is.”

He continued, "it’s Barack Obama who said it’s not surprising then they get bitter and they clinging to guns or religion … I’ll bet he knows what’s in Jeremiah Wright’s heart — he was in Jeremiah Wright’s church for 20 years. “

Chet Kincaid March 6, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Who gives a flying fuck?

BarackMyWorld March 6, 2012 at 7:09 pm

I love how they keep bring up Jeremiah Wright. It's like they're still trying to win the 2008 election.

JustPixelz March 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Because the Republicans really want a third Bush term.

glamourdammerung March 6, 2012 at 7:09 pm

It is not nice to pick on Limbaugh for the non-sequiturs. After all, his long term drug abuse has clearly impaired his mental health so it is not fair to expect a logical statement from him.

SorosBot March 6, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Christ, Jeremiah Wright again? What's next, more Tony Rezco or Bill Ayers guilt-by-association bullshit?

chascates March 6, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Comment from a WashTimes poll on Republican attitudes on birth control:

HIs mentor Saul Alinsky taught him well along with the other Commie scum Bill Ayers.

BarackMyWorld March 6, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Saul Alinsky apparently taught elementary school, since Obama was 10 when he died.

SorosBot March 6, 2012 at 7:37 pm

They need some new memes there.

Tilley March 6, 2012 at 7:47 pm

Bill Ayers and Saul Alinsky still pop up with tiresome regularity on my local news comment board. 'course those posters are all re– uh, they's none too brite.

C_R_Eature March 6, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Yeah, but Bloggerisimo Andrew Breitbart is still dead.

FROTHY March 6, 2012 at 7:36 pm

You know what Teh Youngz say? Dood, that was SO four years AGO!

C_R_Eature March 6, 2012 at 7:59 pm
FROTHY March 7, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Not exactly, sweetie. (Hugs the CREature, kisses a hairy cheek)

I promised I'd check in for SuperToosdee because I was expecting them to start screaming "NIGGER" as soon as the results poured in. I'm disappointed. But HOPEFUL! I might stay here for six months or leave in three weeks. It's not clear at this point. All depends on Sister and her surgeon. I probably won't be back HERE for a bit, tho. Too much to do. You understand.

Tilley March 6, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Rash Phlegmball can suck my dick.

tessiee March 7, 2012 at 12:33 am

Jeez, fat boy was really all over the goddam map, wasn't he?
Take a pill and focus, dood!

Mumbletypeg March 6, 2012 at 7:00 pm

I pulled out my brownie recipe for extra fudgy-nutty variety, in tribute to my commonwealth's two eligible contenders. And as art imitates life, I find I'm out of pecans thus this batch will necessarily do without. So the Fudgepacker element seems primed to win, acc. to this indicator anyway, although I always felt Ron Paul's nuttiness added worthwhile humor — I've missed hearing more from him lately.

FakaktaSouth March 6, 2012 at 7:10 pm

You got any weed? – you could use that for Ron. And for special brownies.

Barrelhse March 6, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Double-up on the cannabutter, it's gonna be a long night.

Limeylizzie March 6, 2012 at 7:00 pm

They just called Georgia for Newt!

Maman March 6, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Yee Haw! To bad he can't win in the state he lives in, Virginia!

shrillharpy March 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Rachel's announced that the Newtster wins GA. YAY! No? Toadie is STILL IN IT TO WIN IT!

SorosBot March 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Newt wins Georgia; Virginia still too close to call even though only Romney and Paul were on the ballot.

FROTHY March 6, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Man, if Mint RMONEY can't crush Ron Paul in fucking VA, he's not gonna win the nom. Ridiculous.

GreatChristiano March 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

I woulda liked Newt much better if he had a HUGE beer belly.

Yeah, that would do it…

chascates March 6, 2012 at 7:02 pm

AP calls Georgia for the serial adulterer.

JustPixelz March 6, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Herman Cain won?

Limeylizzie March 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Oh look, Laurence O'Donnell is in the same studio as his gf, Tamron Hall, sexual tension ahoy!

FakaktaSouth March 6, 2012 at 7:08 pm

I like this very much. I would kill Larry (and I love Mr. O and his shit eating grin whilst discussing Rush's trouble) but I'd kill him for TamTam's skin. She is lovely.

Limeylizzie March 6, 2012 at 7:14 pm

And her eyes are amazing, she is really a beautiful woman, I also think she is a good interviewer.

FakaktaSouth March 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm

She's great at her job. Okay, she's on my special list too now.

SorosBot March 6, 2012 at 7:21 pm

That kind of sexual tension is fun, if it's anything like commenting on Wonkette alongside the girlfriend.

MissTaken March 6, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Wow, you already found yourself a Sugar Mama? You move quickly!

FROTHY March 6, 2012 at 7:41 pm

A-HEM, young lady! A-HEM.

SorosBot March 6, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Yeah, now I just have to learn to close my eyes and think of hot young women so I can stomach licking a wrinkly, 80 year old snatch. I work hard for the money!

(And you're so silly; that's a big part of what I like about you).

FROTHY March 6, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Uh … You wanna tell us MOAR about this, SB? (pulls out notebook and recorder)

SorosBot March 6, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Well to tell any more (that you don't already know) would get a little too personal.

tessiee March 7, 2012 at 12:37 am

You'll feel so much better if you confess everything.
Now speak up loud and clear into this nice…
vase of flowers.

FROTHY March 7, 2012 at 6:24 pm

You don't see ME complaining. (Hugs the li'l Bot)

Awright, awright, I'll quit the teasing awreddy.

SudsMcKenzie March 6, 2012 at 7:23 pm

No matter what happens tonight, Larry is the real winner.

Chet Kincaid March 7, 2012 at 10:43 am

Apparently I was too late tuning in to catch any Tamron last night, and only saw Lawrence's smug, Tamron-eating face. I hate him!!

Limeylizzie March 7, 2012 at 10:52 am
Chet Kincaid March 7, 2012 at 11:47 am

Even in that tiny photo, Ooo La La!!

BarackMyWorld March 6, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Still watching MSNBC…I really appreciate Steve Schmidt's analysis and professionalism. No snark. He adds a lot to their coverage.

Barrelhse March 6, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Nothing like a good Schmidt.

SudsMcKenzie March 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm

My drinking game is "at the end of the day" – he has just destroyed me in the past.

arihaya March 6, 2012 at 7:07 pm

I can't wait for insightful Super Tuesday analysis from Andrew Breitbart, oh wait ..

FROTHY March 6, 2012 at 7:41 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Er … sorry.

Wonderthing March 6, 2012 at 7:07 pm

You know, of course, that Jeb Bush is waiting in the wings to "reconcile the party."

BarackMyWorld March 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Does "reconcile the party"= lose by 20 points?

FROTHY March 6, 2012 at 7:42 pm

I don't think "the party" is gonna be willing, considering what he said about not considering himself a conservative any more.

Rotundo_ March 6, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Jeb isn't as stupid as his brother. I think the "I'm not that kind of conservative line pretty much told the GOP he's out 'til 2016 *if* then.

Schmannnity March 6, 2012 at 7:10 pm

I have decided to withdraw all my advertising and sponsorships from the Limbaugh show.

weej_bain March 6, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Not going to stay in bed with a bunch of hookers?

Schmannnity March 6, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Step away from my window, dammit!

johnnymeatworth March 6, 2012 at 7:12 pm

NEWT WON A STATE! NEWT WON A STATE!

weej_bain March 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Georgia may be in a state of cornfusion.

chascates March 6, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Newt tweets:
newtgingrich Thank you Georgia! It is gratifying to win my home state so decisively to launch our March Momentum. #MarchMo #250gas #SuperTuesday

Nopantsmcgee March 6, 2012 at 7:13 pm

BTW, that graph looks nothing like a penis. At least not any I've seen.

FROTHY March 6, 2012 at 7:52 pm

There are more things in heaven and earth, Nopantsmcgee, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

FakaktaSouth March 6, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Can you imagine having been in one of those planning to destroy the world meetings with both Steve Schmidt and SarahP? I bet dogs were freaking howling at those pitches. Unreal. Like Charlie Brown's teacher getting rogered by Rush's microphone.

Data Exactly March 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Wow, just by sleeping Gingrich wins the first state!

chascates March 6, 2012 at 7:16 pm

By not speaking he didn't screw up!

arihaya March 6, 2012 at 7:19 pm

second actually, after the South "First in the Civil War" Carolina

Data Exactly March 6, 2012 at 7:31 pm

er, first state of Super Tuesday. That probably was a better win though, since multiple candidates contested that state.

Nopantsmcgee March 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Newt's not fuckin' going anywhere. Maybe the car for a quickie , but that's it.

Barrelhse March 6, 2012 at 7:16 pm

And a Mickey Finn?

BarackMyWorld March 6, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Rachel calls Virginia for Mittens.

Virginia is for losers.

C_R_Eature March 6, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Mitt's gonna celebrate by tying his campaign manager to the roof of the Bus for a nice drive across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel, to feast on Oysters and beer in Chrisfield.

Loaded_Pants March 6, 2012 at 7:44 pm

And to think I wasted my vote on Paul.

Tilley March 6, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Here's what I have to say about the glorious border state of Tennessee this evening:

1) Our infamous state legislator Staci X, renowned for penning such great hits as "Aborted Fetuses Require Birth Certificates" and "Don't Say Gay (in the Classroom)" and "It's OK to Bully Fags if You're a Christian," switched his endorsement from The Newt to Ayatollah Sanitorium, after Rev. Ricky appeared at the New Hopewell Baptist Church (or whatever) and Auditorium, Inc., in Powell, TN, and, in total violation of campaign laws and stuff, rallied all 30 people in attendance to vote for him in the name of the Baby Jesus Christ Our Lord and Saviour who Suffered on the Cross. This, I am thinking, may have had something to do with The Salamander's late-stage surge, because even here in Retardoville, TN, we loathe Staci X's guts with a passion.

2) You gotta admit, that line graph looks pretty sexxx-ay.

BarackMyWorld March 6, 2012 at 7:21 pm

+1 just for saying "sexxx-ay".

SorosBot March 6, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Wait, Stacy X hates sex? But that short-term member of the X-Men was a sort-of prostitute, who used her mutant pheromone control powers on her customers.

(Note: I am not making this up; she is a real (albeit obscure) Marvel character.)

weej_bain March 6, 2012 at 7:20 pm

TPM's Kentucky graph is startin' to look like there is a strange attractor at work. Mmmm, that bit of chaos theory fits, yes it does.

FROTHY March 7, 2012 at 5:56 pm

weej, sweetheart, one look at the mo'fockin' lineup of Republicanland, and you realize some VERY strange attractors is the only explanation for their "success," such as it is.

rocktonsam March 6, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Newt can't quit.

Them diamonds ain't going to buy themselves.

DrunkIrishman March 6, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Paul is banking on the white supremacist vote to deliver him Idaho.

FakaktaSouth March 6, 2012 at 7:28 pm

What else are there besides whiteys in Idaho? I mean, can you be supreme if you're all there is?

weej_bain March 6, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Well there are also the sheep, but they are very nervous, obvs.

DrunkIrishman March 6, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Potatoes. Lots and lots of potatoes.

Nostrildamus March 6, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Good point. The potatoes might well outwit the Paultards there.

tessiee March 7, 2012 at 12:43 am

Trust someone with your screen name to notice potatoes.

FROTHY March 7, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Does anybody remember Larry Craig's recipe for the Congressional Cookout? No?

A potato. Cored with an apple corer, so there's a hole right through it. Stick a sausage in that hole and bake the whole thing in the microwave.

And no, I am NOT fucking kidding. I only wish to bejayzus I were.

SudsMcKenzie March 6, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Its nice to have an Editor who apparently actually has cable.

chascates March 6, 2012 at 7:31 pm

And drinks wine! And probably not from a box.

SudsMcKenzie March 6, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Theres Nothing Wrong with Box Wine, … or so I've heard.

tessiee March 7, 2012 at 12:43 am

It's the finest wine of any sold at the gas station.

emmelemm March 6, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Uh… I'd say MOST LIKELY from a box.

{no offense editrix please don't whip me again}

FROTHY March 7, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Oh, you know you love every little sting of the lash.

chascates March 6, 2012 at 7:36 pm

And I have drunk me plenty of 'Black Box' Shiraz.

chascates March 6, 2012 at 7:33 pm

WaPo sez Newt won Georgia with 43%, not exactly a ringing endorsement.

rocktonsam March 6, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Tamron Hall wins the night with that dress!

HUBBA HUBBA

PubOption March 6, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Is she named after a camera lens?

chascates March 6, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Rebecca, it sounds like your mom has pretty good political antennae.

FakaktaSouth March 6, 2012 at 7:35 pm

OHIOiANs ARE DISSATISFIED AND ANGRY??? OH my GOD they have foisted that piece of shit John Boehner on this country and THEY are angry? Give it a rest.

FROTHY March 7, 2012 at 6:01 pm

^^THIS^^ THIS is why I loves you.

No shit. The nerve of those dumbasses after foisting Drinky McOrangeTan on our collective asses. The fucking nerve.

SudsMcKenzie March 6, 2012 at 7:35 pm

I just cant pay attention to anything Tameron Hall is saying.

V572 Flambé March 6, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Mmmm….Tamron Hall in a cram-colored linen sundress. Less Ed Show guy screen-time and more Tamron, pleeze.

BarackMyWorld March 6, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Oh, surprise…Vermont goes for Romney.

Limeylizzie March 6, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Ohio too close to call, come on Frothy!

FROTHY March 7, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Oi! Wot's this about, then?

smokefilledroommate March 6, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Just saw a really stupid GE commercial about how they produce turbines used in the brewery process of Budweiser.. At the end of the explanation voice-over, they have to spell it out for the stupid people, so they have some shithead in a bar ask a GE employee, "Wait–so you guys make the beer?" to which the employee replies, "No. We make the power that makes the beer." Jesus fucking Christ.

MissTaken March 6, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Uh, I don't get it. So the guy from GE makes beer? Does the beer the guy from GE make have iced tea in it? Huh?
http://money.cnn.com/2012/03/06/news/companies/co

tessiee March 7, 2012 at 12:46 am

Or grape soda?

Limeylizzie March 6, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Mike DeWine is one ugly bastard.

Mr Pre-Press March 6, 2012 at 7:43 pm

We'll miss Newt the way Rush misses his Caribbean butt-plugz.

smokefilledroommate March 6, 2012 at 7:47 pm

The "Kickers" look like the only thing they're ready to kick is the bucket.

SorosBot March 6, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Gah! The MSNBC reporter at Gingrich's Georgia headquarters is interviewing a quartet of old ladies wearing rhinestone American flag vests. It is truly one of the most garish hideous outfits I have ever seen. Is all of Georgia this fucked up when it comes to fashion, or just these three elderly gals?

FakaktaSouth March 6, 2012 at 7:51 pm

I swear to God I do not sound like that. You really could talk to me without wanting to jam pencils thru your ear holes all the way to your brain. That shit was making me blind and deaf all at once. Holy holy hell. But that's about right for the type of lady of that age that is politically active for the Rs around here.

SorosBot March 6, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Why would anyone wear that? I think I'm blind too.

Mojopo March 7, 2012 at 12:11 am

Maybe they get so tired of their peanut-boiling aprons that they vajazzle their vests to feel more glam. It has to be something festive and classy enough to stop at Shoney's afterwards.

C_R_Eature March 6, 2012 at 7:54 pm

So… You saw it too? Whew!

MissTaken March 6, 2012 at 7:54 pm

I mentioned on Jim's thread that those must be your sugar mamas. You're so lucky!

smokefilledroommate March 6, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Those are the "East Club Kickers" I was talking about. (Or whatever the hell she said their name was).

They need to have some kind of 'new thread siren' or something…

Rotundo_ March 6, 2012 at 8:31 pm

I think I know what they kick….

FROTHY March 7, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Has anyone told those fucking geriatric bitches that it is AGAINST THE FUCKING LAW to use the nation's flag as part of their clothing? Someone needs to throw their ancient saggy asses in a jail cell for a year. It'll improve their dispositions something wonderful.

C_R_Eature March 6, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Hah! And now we've got Fuck Toad on MSNBC, wanking in front of a huge flat screen's worth of gaudy graphics.

fuflans March 6, 2012 at 8:36 pm

commie mom! like roomate rob!

tessiee March 7, 2012 at 12:20 am

Eddie Murphy once said, RE herpes, "You have that shit forever; it's like luggage".
I think we'll have Newt forever.
and possibly Newt will have herpes forever.

ttommyunger March 7, 2012 at 6:23 am

Got nothing against teh gheys, but Richard Simmons makes my skin crawl just a little. A little more than usual now.

Nopantsmcgee March 7, 2012 at 9:04 am

I am teh gay and he creeps me out.

ttommyunger March 7, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Thank you, I feel better now. Don't know if you ever caught him doing his submissive bit on Howard Stern's clusterfuck of a show, but I have and I've always wondered what Howard had on tape to elicit that kind of response from Richard. Truly creepy, did not speak well of either of them.

OneDollarJuana March 6, 2012 at 7:39 pm

However, if you wind up pregnant and have a new std, "blame yourself".

C_R_Eature March 6, 2012 at 7:43 pm

I predict a solid KO in the early 2nd round. Lizzie Ruuuuulz!

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