Super Tuesday: It is like Christmas, but it’s about politics! And we must treasure it before it dies off for another four years. And so your Wonkette is in the memory collection business today, again, and demands that you voters in 10 states send us your naughtiest Super Tuesday campaign pix and stories and videos and other items from this holiest day of participatory shadow-democracy. You know, “funny signs” and shit.
It was easier the last time your Wonkette pulled this Stupor Tuesday media solicitation stunt — there was a major Democratic presidential primary going on, bringing with it plenty of reader participation from you, our wondrous community of sadistic baby-eating Marxist-Leninists. So we’re hoping our sliver of Real Constitutional Conservative readers really pull through this year. And lo, there are also open primaries in four states — Georgia, Tennessee, Vermont and Virginia — so any old schmuck can vote in the Republican primaries! Since our most vulgar, perverted (read: loyal) readers and commenters tend to be high-powered lawyers and bureaucrats living in Northern Virginia’s stately palaces, maybe this whole thing will work out.
Or maybe no one will send us anything, HEY-O.
The point is, God Bless America & Super Tuesday! Now MUSH, MUSH! Send everything to firstname.lastname@example.org under the subject line “ATROCITY EXHIBITION.”