SUPER TUESDAY POLLING PIX  12:59 pm March 6, 2012

Send Us Your Ludicrous Super Tuesday Pix/Stories, For America

by Jim Newell

Georgia, Graveyard Voting, 2008Super Tuesday: It is like Christmas, but it’s about politics! And we must treasure it before it dies off for another four years. And so your Wonkette is in the memory collection business today, again, and demands that you voters in 10 states send us your naughtiest Super Tuesday campaign pix and stories and videos and other items from this holiest day of participatory shadow-democracy. You know, “funny signs” and shit.

It was easier the last time your Wonkette pulled this Stupor Tuesday media solicitation stunt — there was a major Democratic presidential primary going on, bringing with it plenty of reader participation from you, our wondrous community of sadistic baby-eating Marxist-Leninists. So we’re hoping our sliver of Real Constitutional Conservative readers really pull through this year. And lo, there are also open primaries in four states — Georgia, Tennessee, Vermont and Virginia — so any old schmuck can vote in the Republican primaries! Since our most vulgar, perverted (read: loyal) readers and commenters tend to be high-powered lawyers and bureaucrats living in Northern Virginia’s stately palaces, maybe this whole thing will work out.

Or maybe no one will send us anything, HEY-O.

The point is, God Bless America & Super Tuesday! Now MUSH, MUSH! Send everything to tips@wonkette.com under the subject line “ATROCITY EXHIBITION.”

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 90 comments }

nounverb911 March 6, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Too late, the Washington State repugs already screwed up their caucus over the weekend.

weej_bain March 6, 2012 at 1:19 pm

And they turned away thousand(s) in Kennewick, that glow-in-the-dark suburb of the Hanford Nuke site.

Oopsies, wrong photo, try this one. Truly a wider shade of pale.

Steverino247 March 6, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Pics or it didn't happen!

Wait, it would be better if it didn't happen!

Baconzgood March 6, 2012 at 1:03 pm

You're not the boss of me.

SorosBot March 6, 2012 at 1:12 pm

And you're not so big. Life is unfair.

Terry March 6, 2012 at 1:29 pm

You think you are soooooo mature…but you're not.

SorosBot March 6, 2012 at 1:05 pm

The lucky bastards; as Pennsylvania's primaries aren't until late April, I've only ever had a chance to make a meaningful vote in a Presidential primary in 2008.

Extemporanus March 6, 2012 at 1:05 pm

I'm wearing pants.

Jim Newell March 6, 2012 at 1:08 pm

party foul

Extemporanus March 6, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Hey, you're the one who demanded a ludicrous story, pal.

mrpuma2u March 6, 2012 at 1:07 pm

I live in IL, the "Our primary is so late no one gives a crap" state. Love the cemetery photo, in Chicago the cemeteries are some of are most dependable bases.

Barrelhse March 6, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I love Midtown Madness.

fuflans March 6, 2012 at 4:25 pm

as moving our earlier primary (for bamz in 2008) netted us scott lee cohen in 2010, i'm not sure it's such a bad thing.

and who knows? god willing they'll still be going until early june.

coolhandnuke March 6, 2012 at 1:07 pm

James O'Keefe was spotted at this voting center looking for a fraud.

nounverb911 March 6, 2012 at 1:08 pm

O'Keefe's still around? I thought they tied him to the boat at Breibart's Viking funeral.

Mahousu March 6, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Were no mirrors available?

Biel_ze_Bubba March 6, 2012 at 2:31 pm

For some reason, he has no reflection.

GOPCrusher March 6, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I thought he would be weeping hysterically at Breitbart's gravesite, while contemplating having to go out and find a real job.

MissTaken March 6, 2012 at 1:07 pm

California will be voting while getting suntans in early June this year. I'm actually thinking of working the poll (oh yeah!) for the lulz.

SorosBot March 6, 2012 at 1:13 pm

It's so weird, when you had it on Super Tuesday last time around. Now you're close to last I think.

And now I've got the mental image of you pole dancing and think I need to take a break…

Terry March 6, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Maryland's is April 3rd. I've been wishing they put it two days earlier, just for the fun of it.

orygoon March 6, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Cute puppy pics or GTFO.

orygoon March 6, 2012 at 1:08 pm

DerekWildcat can make it cute pics of birds n stuff.

Callyson March 6, 2012 at 1:08 pm

How happy am I that California moved its primary election back to June?
Ecstatic, thanks for asking…

JustPixelz March 6, 2012 at 1:08 pm

I voted in Connecticut. There's no primary in Connecticut today, you say? That's right! But I voted for something involved with line B versus line C. (Line A dropped out after getting caught with a dead girl and a live boy, I guess.) So I feel super and got a "I voted today" sticker which self-destructs at midnight, or turns into a "I voted yesterday" sticker.

Barrelhse March 6, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Don't put that sticker on your refrigerator; if you do all the food will go bad at midnight.

bureaucrap March 6, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I'd like my baby served with borscht and sour cream, pleeze.

Generation[redacted] March 6, 2012 at 1:10 pm

We already have video of Joe Scarborough crying.

Sharkey March 6, 2012 at 1:10 pm

And will I be reimbursed for the film and developing costs?

nounverb911 March 6, 2012 at 1:13 pm

What's film?

Blueb4sunrise March 6, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Extemporanus March 6, 2012 at 1:12 pm

SUPER POOSDAY!!

GortRay March 6, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Pile o' Santorum?

Loaded_Pants March 6, 2012 at 2:19 pm

So this is what Newt needs the 2nd bathroom for.

proudgrampa March 6, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I voted for vodka instead of gin today.

LesBontemps March 6, 2012 at 1:19 pm

I hope vodka wins the primary, because it's the only drink that has a chance against whiskey in the general election.

Fukui-sanYesOta March 6, 2012 at 1:25 pm

vodka's pandering to the base about building a danged fence to keep the tequila out

bureaucrap March 6, 2012 at 1:11 pm

What a coincidence — I actually use "Atrocity Exhibition" as the subject line for ALL my email.

GortRay March 6, 2012 at 1:42 pm

RIP Joy Division and Ian Curtis

Toomush_Infer March 6, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Oh, just breathe deep, cross the state lines and vote as often as you want to…

el_donaldo March 6, 2012 at 1:11 pm

New Jersey won't primary until June. I think the idea is that the state GOP waits until its results are irrelevant in case Christie eats all the delegates before the convention.

johnnyzhivago March 6, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I was planning to re-register as a Republican so I could vote for the worst possible candidate in that stupid thing, but ended up deciding it was a meaningless gesture since they are all equally awful.

Lascauxcaveman March 6, 2012 at 1:32 pm

That was exactly my thinking. How does one choose the "worst" Republican candidate?

Barrelhse March 6, 2012 at 2:21 pm

If he does it's because he thought they were shit-on-a-shingle; anyone could have made the same mistake.

Lucidamente1 March 6, 2012 at 1:13 pm

My dog has bad diarrhea; will that do?

nounverb911 March 6, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Send it to Mitt as a campaign contribution.

Sharkey March 6, 2012 at 1:16 pm

You can't send that though email!

mavenmaven March 6, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Yawn.

Deportably_Jose March 6, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Keep in mind also that being vulgar failures, Gingrich and Santorum failed to get on the ballot in Virginia, despite that being the state where all campaign consultants live, and also where Gingrich lives.

The upshot here is that Wonketes can be perverse jerkwads in that state, without lowering yourselves to voting for either of those dudes. Just as long as you don't mind voting for the hoary old crypto-Confederate lunatic, instead.

Fare la Volpe March 6, 2012 at 1:21 pm

the hoary old crypto-Confederate lunatic

Which?

Local_Mojo March 6, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Don't they mean Supercilious Tuesday?

Supercilious \soo-puhr-SIL-ee-uhs\ , adjective: Disdainfully arrogant; haughty.

RedneckMuslin March 6, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Do women still think of Mitt as a haughty?

CapnFatback March 6, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Yes, yes, but what is this "Tuesday"?

Barrelhse March 6, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Soper Tuesday?
Stupor Tuesday?

prommie March 6, 2012 at 1:15 pm

So is Obama gonna clinch the nomination today?

RedneckMuslin March 6, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Is that an anal reference?

chascates March 6, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Live Obama presser starting now, something about the economy, housing, Israel & Iran, crazy Smarch weather.

Lascauxcaveman March 6, 2012 at 1:37 pm

To be followed shortly by his much-anticipated NCAA bracket.

We're all holding our breath, Mr Baracketteer-In-Chief.

BaldarTFlagass March 6, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I'd like to dress up as a New Black Panther and go hang out at my local polling place and snap some pics of me intimidating some little old ladies, but Texas is not having their primary today, and I'm white. Dang.

chascates March 6, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Just wear an Obama mask and hang out at the entrance to a Luby's or Sirloin Stockade instead.

WhatTheHeck March 6, 2012 at 1:15 pm

God, I wish this were Taiwan where the pols can punch and kick the crap out of each other. Sure would make it entertaining rather than just plain ol politickin.

johnnyzhivago March 6, 2012 at 1:16 pm

How about funny kitty fotos?????

Sharkey March 6, 2012 at 1:18 pm

As long as they're voting.

Fare la Volpe March 6, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Voter fraud!!

WhatTheHeck March 6, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Not one republican candidate could ever be considered a cool cat.

Baconzgood March 6, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Hang in there.

b[redact]opple March 6, 2012 at 1:18 pm

So should I go home and vote for Doctor Congressman Paul? Us federal bureaucrats get three hours off for that shit. I'm trying to decide what to do.

Fukui-sanYesOta March 6, 2012 at 1:26 pm

write-in for casey anthony

x111e7thst March 6, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I get the whole day, as compensation I guess, for merely being an NYC bureaucrat.

IceCreamEmpress March 6, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Us unaffiliated voters in Massachusetts can vote in any damn primary we want! I am going to go over and vote "None of the Above" on the Repub ballot any second now. Unless I change my mind and take the Green Rainbow ballot. I have no idea what a Green Rainbow is but it makes me laugh.

Lascauxcaveman March 6, 2012 at 1:41 pm

A green rainbow is one that is missing five or six colors.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 6, 2012 at 2:38 pm

But it gets fantastic mileage.

freakishlywrong March 6, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Does my trans-vaginal ultrasound count as a picture?

John Birf Society March 6, 2012 at 1:30 pm

My tax dollars are paying for this primary, so shouldn't I get some free porn? No Santorum please, I'm not a pervert.

Barb March 6, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I have to spend Super Tuesday at a dinner meeting with a vendor at El Pinto, George Bush's favorite New Mexican Mexican restaurant. I plan to ask for the "Newt Gingrich $2.50 gas special" and then I am going to slam some tequila and defile the pictures of George Bush that pepper the place.

Barrelhse March 6, 2012 at 2:27 pm

*Have a nice day!*

BaldarTFlagass March 6, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Nothing posted yet. Maybe the email server is simply overwhelmed by the response to the request for pix.

SayItWithWookies March 6, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Sadly, my polling place was distinctly quiet and empty today, and I was only the 22nd person to vote there. But I'm wearing my "I Voted" sticker just to cause consternation among my Republican colleagues who at least have some inkling that the hippie socialist probably didn't vote in the best interests of the GOP.

CogitoErgoBibo March 6, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I was strongly considering doing the same thing, but it's sort of sad to even try in Virginia. Paul versus Mittens? That's all? Phooey. At least in other states I could have tried to stick the party with Santorum as their chosen, beatable nut job.

SayItWithWookies March 6, 2012 at 2:53 pm

I know — I was disappointed that Newt and Santorum were so incompetent that they couldn't get on the ballot and thus self-eliminated themselves. From consideration, that is.

Loaded_Pants March 6, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I did my part to challenge the status quo by voting for Paul. The polling place felt like being at a deathwatch except no one was there.

Pres.Beeblebrox March 6, 2012 at 1:45 pm

CNN says that Southwest Ohio is "ground zero" for Super Tuesday.

Just what IS it about Cincinnati, anyway?

GOPCrusher March 6, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Redneck Central

horsedreamer_1 March 6, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Skyline Chili.

owhatever March 6, 2012 at 1:53 pm

I have a picture of your girlfriend being a slut and a prostitute with someone you would never suspect in my precinct. I'll download (or destroy) it only if you pay me with five more "p" points.

rocktonsam March 6, 2012 at 2:16 pm

"Four dead in Ohio."

Nostrildamus March 6, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Do you want dick pics?

OneYieldRegular March 6, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I'm truly regretting having not snapped a photo of a random sign I saw posted along a winding country road a couple of weeks ago that read, in its entirety, "DRINK."

Limeylizzie March 6, 2012 at 5:04 pm

We have no Republicans in Harlem, we do have that crazy Pastor James "Long-legged Mackdaddy" Manning so I may shuffle off up the street and see what he has on his giant sign today.

ttommyunger March 7, 2012 at 7:00 am

Nothing funny about granite orchards at my age, assholes!

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