this is why we can't have nice things

Noted Humanitarian Rush Limbaugh To Be Honored At Missouri Statehouse

Sometimes a cigar is a prostituteNational treasure and beloved American public intellectual Rush Limbaugh will join Great Communicators Walter Cronkite, Mark Twain, and Charlie Parker and some others (Harry S Truman, Bob Barker, and John Ashcroft) in the Show Me state’s …. nope. Can’t do it. Here, go read this for a minute and then come back.

Okay, we’ve all digested that? And the fact that this year’s inductees into the Hall of Famous Americans includes His Grossness and Dred Scott? Doughnuts to dollars famously unsuccessfully freed slave Scott (every time he thought he was out, they dragged him back in!) was included for his noted anti-abortion stance. Good, then your editrix will go have a cigarette and her morning cry.

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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    1. Callyson

      Thus putting that drug to better use than giving it to Rushbo. And to the considerable relief of wife #4, also, too.

    1. revmatty

      Yea, MO loves Limbaugh. His cousin is a highly politically connected Federal Judge, and outside of the metro areas (STL, KC, and the city limits of Columbia) MO is in the deep south. Obama lost here.

  1. kissawookiee

    I am not sure how you make a statue of a shitstain, but I suppose the color of bronze is a good first step.

    1. SorosBot

      This is the state that went big-time for Santorum; so yes, they do seem to love hating women.

    1. sewollef

      Ah, perfect. The timing — it's all about the timing — it just could not be better could it?

  2. TheSheriffsNear

    "And the fact that this year’s inductees into the Hall of Famous Americans includes His Grossness and Dred Scott? " That's what you call balance! What you give to those people, must be balanced with what you give to our people. (We, the white, god-fearing citizens of Rockridge.) Well played on the timing, too.

    1. Chichikovovich

      His Grossness and Dred Scott? " That's what you call balance!

      I guess you could call it another "Missouri Compromise". Dred Scott has had pretty bad luck with those.

      1. TheSheriffsNear

        Well played, Chichi. That's the joke I was looking for. Time to turn in my History degree.

  3. Joshua Norton

    Noted Humanitarian Rush Limbaugh To Be Honored At Missouri Statehouse

    Mainly because he lent them a T-Shirt so they could tent the place that time they had to spray for termites.

    1. oldedinvn

      Seems that you will never understand the word humanitarian. He is just so misunderstood. I am sure {gag} that he meant it in a nice way.

  4. FakaktaSouth

    First Missouri infiltrates my football conference (since they are southern and or eastern – now they are dicks) and now this? I heard Sen McCaskill talking about the petition to stop this – I hope it kicks his ass out – she owes me.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      I saw her talking about this on TV last night. I was too lazy to get off my fat ass and type on the computer but now, in your honor, I did so (well … typed, not got off my fat ass). In respect for your football conference, too, because those people moving all around is not good. What's next? Pittsburgh will be on the West Coast?

  5. chascates

    When asked about the selection of Limbaugh, Tilley told the Southeast Missourian, "Keep this in mind: It's not called the Hall of Universally Loved Missourians. We've inducted people like John Ashcroft, Warren Hearnes and Harry Truman. They certainly had their detractors."

    So serial killers still have a shot at their statues?

    1. chicken_thief

      What have you got against us? I mean, I don't love the taste of Whole Grain Cheerios, but they are heart healthy so I eat 'em by the box.

  6. north_of_moscow

    I posted this awhile back. It seems germane, so here it is again: "I was visiting family near Cape Girardeau recently and went with my aunt to put flowers on graves at this beautiful country cemetery. She was going from headstone to headstone, explaining who was related to who, where they lived, how they died. She knew everyone in that place, from the late 1800s on. She even knew who was in the grave that was marked with a creek rock. Then we got to a row of Limbaughs. She just rolled her eyes and said 'Folks around here don't really care for them.'"

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Considering that the "folks around here" were all dead and buried, that's a pretty damned unpopular bunch.

    1. chicken_thief

      But, in a Paul Harvey manner of story telling: And now, for the rest of the story. The remaining 2/5 grew up to be a blubbery druggie who led the Republican Party via his radio show and inducted into the Missouri Hall on the same day as his papa.

  7. BigDumbRedDog

    Ugh, I don't know if I can take this much right wing grossness so early in the morning.

  8. Mojopo

    They're just asking for that shit to get paint-balled. Go on ahead, display that cooter's head where I can see it.

  9. smokefilledroommate

    UPDATE: 3:08 p.m. — The link to the page with Schubert working on the bust of Limbaugh is no longer working.

    CORRECTION:This article has been changed to reflect that Claire McCaskill is a Democratic senator, not a Republican.

    God–get with the program, HuffPo.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      I believe they're retired the award, and just handed it to him on a permanent basis.

  10. Eve8Apples

    "Keep this in mind: It's not called the Hall of Universally Loved Missourians."

    How many other assholes are honored in the Hall? Any Klansmen, Nazis, psychopaths, pedophiles, or serial rapists? I hope the ghost of Mark Twain burns their Hall to the ground.

  11. Goonemeritus

    Missouri needs to learn to distinguish between famous and infamous. Just because the Menendez brothers were infamous didn’t mean Doublemint gum should have used them in an ad campaign.

  12. Beowoof

    Every time I see a pic of El Rushbo with that cigar in his mouth I think of the George Carlin bit on white pussy businessmen sucking on a big brown dick.

    The exact quote sums up my feelings on Rush:

    Alright, now listen, I have a few more items of things that are pissing me off. And this one comes in the form of a question: Haven't we had about enough of this cigar smoking shit in this country? When is this shit gonna end? When is this shit gonna go away? When are these fat arrogant overpaid overfed overprivilaged overindulged white collar business criminal asshole cocksuckers gonna put out their cigars and move along to their next abomination. White pussy businessmen sucking on a big brown dick. That's all it is. A big brown dick. Sigment Frued said a cigar is just a cigar. Oh yeah? Well sometimes it's just a big brown dick. With the fat arrogant white collar business criminal asshole sucking on the wet end of it. But hey, the news is not all bad for me. You wanna know the good part? Cancer of the mouth. Good! Fuck em! Makes me happy. It's an attractive disease, goes well with a "cell phone". So light up, suspender man, and suck that smoke deep down into your empty suit, and blow it out your ass you fucking cocksucker!"

    1. Eve8Apples

      He can have his bust in the Missouri Hall of Fame on two conditions. One, the bust must depict him puffing on a big, brown phallic cigar. Two, we get to put that Carlin quote on a bronze plaque hanging above his fat head.

    2. tessiee

      "You wanna know the good part? Cancer of the mouth."

      Some years back, I worked in the Intensive care section of a teaching hospital. As you might expect, most of the surgeons there had a very dark sense of humor. One of them had a son who decided that he was going to smoke cigars. The predictable "they're better for you than cigarettes" argument ensued, with Dr. Snark winning it by saying cheerfully, "Oh, good. Mouth cancer. That's *easy*. We can just slice your tongue and lips right off."

      Keep smokin' those big brown dicks, Rush.

  13. oldedinvn

    Screw ever one. You dint not mention , Ambrose Bierce or whatever his name was. Somewhere in the debbils dikshonary he described Rush.
    Fuck you very much.

  14. Mumbletypeg

    go have a cigarette and her morning cry.

    Today we are all morally weak, as Layne would put it — enslaved each to our own (de)vices*

    *and I share at least one of yours RS, the other one having been perfected by Holly Hunter some years ago in one of her memorable film moments~

  15. Toomush_Infer

    Still thinkin' 'bout it: how does that overweight, stressed out, out-of-shape bag of shit get to buy health insurance in a pool with anybody – who's paying for the slutty way he takes care of himself?…

    1. tessiee

      He talks a good game of bullshit, but he acts like someone whose quite justifiable self-hatred is causing him to commit suicide with every choice he makes. He's fat as a hog, smokes constantly, gobbles pills, has never done a complete sit-up in his life, has sex with strangers in third world countries, is consumed with anger and hate… I don't know what he eats, but I bet it has a pretty high fried and/or junk food component (just a guess). If there were something on the market called "cancer juice", he'd chug it by the gallon. How has this worthless prick not had, like, fourteen heart attacks?

  16. mrblifil

    What I love about Rush's recent turmoil is that he had to say something noteworthy to steal the news cycle back from dead pustule Andrew Breitbart. Which means that even in death, we are all one step closer to working for Andrew Breitbart.

  17. meatlofer

    It isn't Missouri, it was Guatemala. And it isn't the State House,it was a shithouse.I hope this clears things up.

    1. ElPinche

      Or Dominican Republican, where Rush used shithouses to fuck underaged male prostitutes……so they say.

  18. hagajim

    Ahhhh, Missouri, you have just renamed yourself the "Show Me We're a Bunch of Dumbfucks" State.

  19. DaRooster

    So, of all the people born/raised/that lived in Missouri… this is the best of what's left?

    Poor Missouri…

    1. GOPCrusher

      Some of them are still pissed over the fact that he wasn't allowed to buy the St. Louis Rams.

  20. Biff

    Missouri should only bestow this honor posthumously.
    Also, I think they'll need to dig a big-assed moat around it because the way I envision it it'll be like Monkey Island, but all the poo-flinging will be directed inward.

  21. Tundra Grifter

    Harry "S" (no period – like Boss BlunderRush) Truman – I am quite impressed, Rebecca.

    Well played!

    Meanwhile, as a child I loved Bob Barker in "Truth or Consequences!"

  22. johnnymeatworth

    Now now, it's entirely possible that they're just keeping it around for the skeet shooting demo.

    1. GOPCrusher

      I hope it gets to the point where ClearChannel goes back and asks for their 44 million back for this year.

  23. Tommmcattt

    Wait, they are sculpting a bust of Rush Limbaugh?!?!?!!?

    I'm investing in clay and bronze futures RIGHT NOW!

  24. Puffperney

    Having spent my entire adult life (2 years out for Army service) in Missouri, I can tell you that Rush is very representative of most Missourians. So, it does make sense from that standpoint.

  25. fartknocker

    The best thing I ever learned about Missouri was that once you got to the center of the state, any direction you traveled you were leaving. Kansas City is a cool town but the rest of the state was nothing but truck stops, tweekers, fireworks sales and Amish folks.

  26. Data Exactly

    "Can’t do it. Here, go read this for a minute and then come back."
    "Good, then your editrix will go have a cigarette and her morning cry."

    Don't go all Joe Scarborough on us, Schoenkopf! Not this early, no ma'am!

  27. ChiRon8

    From the "Comments" portion of the news story: "When I first saw the headline I thought it said steakhouse…my first impression was more appropriate"

    Best. Comment. So. Far

  28. sarah_connor

    No snark, it seriously pains my ass to be from this loathsome godforsaken hell hole. I left 28 years ago with running shoes. And yes, so much misogyny that I can personally attest to, to this day, that we should all vote "no" on Senator Claire McCaskill's poll. maybe something can be done to keep this state-sanctioned outrage from happening.

    Doth I protest too much? Very well, then, I doth protest too much.

  29. HelmutNewton

    With Ashcroft, and now Windbag, they can now officially call it the "Hall Of Shame".

  30. miss_grundy

    Instead of honoring native son, Brad Pitt, they give a monument to this jag-off? This tells me everything I need to know about Missouri.

  31. alzronnie

    I knew about Charlie Parker, Bob Barker, and Ashcroft but I didn't know that Mark Twain, Harry Truman, and Cronkite were drug addicts too.

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