DAY OF ATONEMENT  2:49 pm March 5, 2012

Rush Limbaugh Sorry Liberals Made Him Be A Disgusting Liberal Like Them

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

In case you were wondering, beloved minstrel show performer Rush Limbaugh is “sincerely” “sorry” about the “two words” he called Sandra Fluke — slut and prostitute — and as anyone who is sincerely sorry does, took full personal responsibility for them by blaming liberals, who forced him to become a disgusting spewer of ad-hominem insults against nice ladies even though he did not mean them, like them. Blorgle snurfle phlegm, liberals have a “willingness to say or do anything to advance their agenda. But this is the mistake I made,” admitted Mr. Limbaugh, humbly. “In fighting them on this issue last week, I became like them. Against my own instincts, against my own knowledge, against everything I know to be right and wrong, I descended to their level, when I used those two words to describe Sandra Fluke, I became like them, and I feel very badly about that.” He continued, “I have always tried to maintain a very high degree of integrity and independence on this program.” “Integrity” and “independence” is not the language Your Wonkette would have used.

Mr. Limbaugh maintained that his unprecedented apology was not due to financial consideration, as his advertisers have got into a spot of bother, nor was it due to pressure from the GOP establishment, who have seemingly become a little verklempt. (Haha, “pressure.”)

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 224 comments }

Mr Pre-Press March 5, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Puts the turd into Tourettes nicely.

Sue4466 March 5, 2012 at 2:53 pm

He's right about not caving to pressure from the GOP establishment. They're more afraid of him than Punxsutawney Phil is of his own shadow.

Terry March 5, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Rush caved to pressure by AOL, Carbonite, and a handful of other sponsors.

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 3:00 pm

So much pressure, his pilodinal cyst popped.

sharethegrief March 5, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Develop a cyst and you too can avoid Viet Nam. Become a butt cyst and you can make millions.

johnnyzhivago March 5, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Whew! I was afraid he was going to blame lesbian college professors for this one.

CivicHoliday March 5, 2012 at 2:55 pm

that one is coming tomorrow. this is progressive blame-fest

Texan_Bulldog March 5, 2012 at 3:05 pm

He's blaming rappers. They call women bad names too….so that makes Rush the victim.

horsedreamer_1 March 5, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Easy-E was a noted GOP donor.

Exhausted66 March 5, 2012 at 2:53 pm

I've tried to come up with something clever to say but I just keep typing, Fuck you!

CommieLibunatic March 5, 2012 at 3:04 pm

I'd go down the Spider Jerusalem route and submit an essay of nothing but the word "FUCK" written 8,000 times.

hollywooddood March 5, 2012 at 4:55 pm

As a slut and feminazi, I'll say fuck you in the voting booth.

NellCote71 March 5, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Really, that is all that is left to say. Although I am waiting for him to specifically blame Obama.

Tundra Grifter March 5, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Sheer InSannity, Off-the-Mark Levin, Boss BlunderRush, and their ilk, claim to have strong "conservative principles."

Yet they excuse poor behavior by comparing themselves to people they despise.

Is that how they find North on their moral compasses? They look to the folks for whom they have the least possible respect and them copy those behaviors?

Boss BlunderRush's pathetic excuse reminds me of Ole Newt cheating on this wife because he loves America so much.

Sue4466 March 5, 2012 at 2:59 pm

The GOP is, after all, the party of personal responsibility. And given all the other conflicting ideas they hold dear and without question, the excuse of "they made me do it!" makes complete and total sense.

Spurning Beer March 5, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Is that how they find North on their moral compasses?

Yes, it is. Oliver North, to be specific.

NellCote71 March 5, 2012 at 6:26 pm

You get an upfist for this comparison: "Boss BlunderRush's pathetic excuse reminds me of Ole Newt cheating on this wife because he loves America so much."

CivicHoliday March 5, 2012 at 2:54 pm

scapegoating: ur doin it wrong

johnnyzhivago March 5, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Perhaps Rush could borrow an idea from Mitt Romney and "self-cancel" himself from radio.

finallyhappy March 5, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Yes, it was my fault. I am a liberal and called him and told him what words to use. That is how it happened

bflrtsplk March 5, 2012 at 3:23 pm

And I hope you are "sincerely" "sorry."

Native_of_SL_UT March 5, 2012 at 6:19 pm

I hope you are severely sorry too.

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Judging by your screen name, can we assume that it was you who supplied Rush with the word "slut"?

proudgrampa March 5, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Shame on you! Good work, friend!

Tundra Grifter March 5, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Back when I was in high school, a very smart young lady asked me "What is the male equlvalent of 'slut'?"

I'm still looking for the answer to that one.

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 2:57 pm

*raising hand*

Callyson March 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm

"Republican."

DaRooster March 5, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Stud.

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Cocksman.

DemmeFatale March 5, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Rush Limbaugh

ChernobylSoup March 5, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Male

Spurning Beer March 5, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Mick Jagger

themcwow March 5, 2012 at 3:52 pm

himbo

SudsMcKenzie March 5, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Ryan Seacrest.

Native_of_SL_UT March 5, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Me.

smitallica March 5, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Lucky, lucky fellow.

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Playa'

Guppy March 5, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Depends on whether or not you consider being a "slut" to be a bad thing.

ShaveTheWhales March 5, 2012 at 10:57 pm

"guy"

Negropolis March 6, 2012 at 2:15 am

Wilt Chamberlain.

No, wait, Neville Chamberlain.

No, no, wait, all of them, Katie.

C_R_Eature March 6, 2012 at 5:48 am

"Bond. James Bond."

Terry March 5, 2012 at 2:55 pm

“In fighting them on this issue last week, I became like them. Against my own instincts, against my own knowledge, against everything I know to be right and wrong, I descended to their level, when I used those two words to describe Sandra Fluke, I became like them, and I feel very badly about that.” He continued, “I have always tried to maintain a very high degree of integrity and independence on this program.”

Immediately after which, Mr Limbaugh swallowed a handful of pills and booked a weekend trip to Bangkok.

anniegetyerfun March 5, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Now, now, he just said "on this program", not "in the girly-boy brothels of Southeast Asia."

It's still not true, of course, because he's a raging asshole every single moment of every single day of his life.

Chillwillard March 5, 2012 at 2:55 pm

What a sorry ass non-apology. Even the GOP does a better job at apologizing on behalf of Rush.

DesertTed March 5, 2012 at 2:55 pm

What a pussy. I bet there's no figure in America who knows prostitutes better than Rush.

CrunchyKnee March 5, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Sure, if by "prostitutes" you mean underage central American boys.

Oh, wait, I see what you did there, yes Limpbaugh is a big fat prostitute…carry on.

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 2:55 pm

That must be Saul Alinsky's hand up his ass and not a stick

MissTaken March 5, 2012 at 2:57 pm

I would like to preemptively apologize for using the following 18 words to describe Rush as a "fucking pencil-dicked, closeted lover of Puerto Rican rentboys whose smegma-encrusted ball sack hangs to his knees". Sorry.

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Hey, isn't that the OED definition of "Douchebaugh"!

Fukui-sanYesOta March 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm

It was the left-wing which made you say those hurtful things about Rush, who is a bloviating, disingenuous tub of lard who raped and murdered a boy in 2011 while Sean Hannity watched and laughed … wait now they're making me do it!

SorosBot March 5, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Hey now, that's not right! He's a closeted lover of Dominican rentboys.

MissTaken March 5, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Those damn liberals made me think it was Puerto Rico.

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Yes, we should be taken out back, tied up and spanked liberally.

Mmmmm….

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 3:16 pm

And then comes the oral sex.

SorosBot March 5, 2012 at 3:29 pm

It's all the liberals' fault! They probably caused that earthquake you experienced this morning too.

Gratuitous World March 5, 2012 at 2:57 pm

while it's remarkable that this is what it took for some in the mainstream to realize he's a vile, bigoted, misogynist , it's far from remarkable that Limbaugh continues to whine each (rare) time he's dickslapped by unbridled free market capitalism.

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Seven corporations have expressed their First Amendment Rights by no longer sending him sweet, sweet, advertising caysh.

Swampgas_Man March 5, 2012 at 4:54 pm

It's their freemarket, it's supposed to work for them. Anything else is just liberal interference w/ their freedumbs.

Blueb4sunrise March 5, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Testing. Testing.

child-fucking,
drug-addicted,
psychopath.

VespulaMaculata March 5, 2012 at 2:59 pm

It's liberals fault he's fat too.

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 3:01 pm

I blame Ann Romney

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Liberal levels of Krispy Kremes.

SorosBot March 5, 2012 at 3:18 pm

We also forced him to get addicted to Oxycontin and act like a total shithead with no morals or sense of shame.

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Naturally! If it wasn't for liberals he wouldn't have to spew his hate-filled rants on the air and having absolutely nothing to rage at, he'd be able to indulge his first love, orchid gardening.

40 or 50 % McShineys March 5, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Or "Kid Gardening."
A new term for what he does in Dominican Republic

horsedreamer_1 March 5, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Joan Kroc gave a lot of money to NPR, so, yes, that is true.

2161911 March 5, 2012 at 2:59 pm

I had to go out to the car to listen to the first five minutes of today's show. Yes, he did say the words he is quoted as saying. But, from his inflection, I could swear he had his thumb up his ass the whole time.

An_Outhouse March 5, 2012 at 3:21 pm

I hope it was his own thumb.

SudsMcKenzie March 5, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Did you open the garage door?

DaRooster March 5, 2012 at 3:00 pm

"I became like them. Against my own instincts, against my own knowledge, against everything I know to be right and wrong…"

Yeah Limplog… you have never said a foul thing against anyone before that day, huh.

MissTaken March 5, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Wow, not only did his "sincere" apology only address the use of the words and ignore the meaning behind what he said but he also managed to blame liberals for it. Rush has brought the art of the apology to a new low, well played.

SorosBot March 5, 2012 at 3:08 pm

"I should have just called her a 'loose woman' and a 'hussy."

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 3:11 pm

"Slattern," altho his audience might not ever have gotten that one

SorosBot March 5, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Considering that their average age is about eighty, they might.

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Yes, but they wouldn't be able to hear clearly past the onions tied to their belts.

NellCote71 March 5, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Or "chippy." The favorite of my turn-of-the-century parents (the last century, that is).

Spurning Beer March 5, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Well, at least I don't paint myself up like a trollop, you cunt.

40 or 50 % McShineys March 5, 2012 at 4:37 pm

It all makes sense! The liberals got to McCain too!

Callyson March 5, 2012 at 3:02 pm

"In fighting them on this issue last week, I became like them."
Yeah, because liberals always slut – shame women, call advocates for women's equality nazis, and argue that feminism was developed so that ugly women could have a life.
Yeah, kiss my ass while I take a shit all day, Rushbo…

Steverino247 March 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm

One of my favorite movie put down lines goes something like this: "Your moral compass is so fucked up, I doubt you could find your way out of my office to the parking lot."

Mr. Limbaugh has no concept of how to apologize. With nine (ten?) advertisers off his show (and likely hoping the dust settles soon so they can go back), this could get interesting. So, in the interest of promoting commerce (if not better political discourse) let me give him an example of something close to acceptable.

"I used terms like 'slut' and 'prostitute' in describing an earnest young woman with whom I disagreed strongly. I let my passion on the issue take me too far and I apologize for using terms that certainly do not apply to Ms. Fluke. I promise to be more careful in the future."

That's as close as he can get, so…

ManchuCandidate March 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Like I said before, I'd be stunned if Rush actually took personal responsibility.

Does the moon cause tides?
Can a Leopard change his spots?
Can a Palin be smart?
Can the fat fuck be any less of a cowardly shitbag?

Nope to any to any of those.

bumfug March 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Too late now, fat boy, your blood's in the water and everyone who was scared of you before is circling…

elviouslyqueer March 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm

If would be delicious if Rush's idiocy culminates in his Mama Cass-inspired demise after choking on this l'il packet of yumminess. So, your move, karma.

FlownOver March 5, 2012 at 3:04 pm

That explains why Fox identified him Saturday morning as "Rush Limbaugh (D-Asshole)"

EatsBabyDingos March 5, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Dear Rush: I am sorry you are a douchebag. Really sorry. And I would trade Brightfart for you in a minute.

Luv, the Devil.

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 3:04 pm

“I have always tried to maintain a very high degree of integrity and independence on this program.”

Monitor. Meet green tea.

dijetlo March 5, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Conservatives are idiots and Limbaugh is their king

LiveToServeYa March 5, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Well, yes, at long last, he has no sense of decency, vituperous drug addict that he is.

SayItWithWookies March 5, 2012 at 3:05 pm

So Rush, when did you first become a liberal? Was it when you told a black caller to take the bone out of his nose? Or later, when you mocked Michael J. Fox by pretending to have the Parkinson's disease tremors?

lefty74 March 5, 2012 at 3:06 pm

The man has issues. Not only does he have issues, he has a lifetime subscription to ___"fill__in___ the ___blank"_______Magazine.

Kidneys4Sale March 5, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Dominican Tween?

slithytoves March 5, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Dream on, asswipe. You'll never be like us.

FakaktaSouth March 5, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Ah jeez. I need to find out what the new wonkette rules are. I feel a rager coming on and I don't wanna be all deleted by the administrator. Rush, I hope you…wait, seriously, where are the new rules?

2161911 March 5, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Rule # 1: Young men die.

Rule # 2: Doctors can't change rule # 1.

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 3:10 pm

The only new rule I've seen is you can't ask how much Rebecca paid for this worthless website.

Oh. And you can't talk about Fight Club.

FakaktaSouth March 5, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Fight club + Me and Rush – now you're talking = but not about fight club, got it.

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Yes, and elderberries make great blackberries if gooseberries aren't in season

FakaktaSouth March 5, 2012 at 3:26 pm

can't – not – say – it … your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. whew. Sorry. I have the Python Tourettes bad.

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 8:07 pm

"elderberries make great blackberries if gooseberries aren't in season"

Was that some kind of encoded way of letting us know that you goosed an elderly person?

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Please, it's "blahberries".

metamarcisf March 5, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Rule number one: Never draft a white guy in the first round.

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 3:22 pm

It's OK if it's Aaron Rodgers or Drew Brees.

FakaktaSouth March 5, 2012 at 3:29 pm

For every Brees there's a sad little Leaf.

horsedreamer_1 March 5, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Draft busts come in black & white: Leaf, JaMarcus Russell, Tim Couch, Cade Mc Nown, Akili Smith… & now, we have a Latino — Mark Sanchez — too.

Exhausted66 March 5, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Maybe he got "prostitute" at his wedding, from Elton John.

SorosBot March 5, 2012 at 3:07 pm

He became just like liberals – because it's liberals who consider any woman who enjoys sex a slut and thinks she should be forced to feel shame for her natural desires, who believe the government should be policing what adults do with their genitals in private, and who think employers should be able to force their employees to abide by their religious rules. Right.

Deportably_Jose March 5, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Let's be honest, this has nothing to do with religion, or even slut-shaming, ultimately: It was about the most influential figure in conservative media attempting to bully a woman into silence by using his platform to heap grotesque abuse on her for several days in a row. And in so doing, to set an example for all women everwhere that might dare have the gall to speak up about their own right to fair treatment, that this is what happens if you try to.

Everything else about this was frankly an ancillary point: the main point, which was pretty effectively highlighted by Darrly Issa's original "panel on women's health care, for men" was this: Women should shut up, and leave the opinion-having to the menfolk.

FakaktaSouth March 5, 2012 at 3:51 pm

I can't tell you how many liberals I have following me around the pharmacy when I goes ta gets mah pills – all yelling "HEY! MAKE ME A PORNO YA PROSTITUTE! THEN PUT IT ON LINE! I SEE THEM PILLS! YOU OWE ME!" (and when did Rush become a health insurance company anyway?)

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 4:11 pm

It was the Wild Turkey talking. I apologize.

ShaveTheWhales March 5, 2012 at 11:02 pm

I haven't been in Alabama for forty years, honest.

Texan_Bulldog March 5, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Yeah, because Lefties are always calling women sluts and prostitutes. Shorter Rush apology: 'if any damn sluts were offended, then they should quit slutting around and I wouldn't have to call them sluts.'

anniegetyerfun March 5, 2012 at 4:35 pm

David Frum did a nice little write-up on CNN about similar examples in left-wing media, and how those people apologized (except Maher, who I am still not entirely sure is a liberal so much as a libertarian).

It's not that leftists never do this, it's that they are usually punished straight away.

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Can you even call Letterman a liberal? I mean, the guy's got a photo of Mitt Romney on his set. I don't watch the show often enough to know if that's a joke or not, of course, but still…

anniegetyerfun March 5, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I'm pretty certain that's a joke. But even if he's not liberal by MY standards, he's a Jew in entertainment, so most wingnuts see him as painfully liberal, obviously.

Negropolis March 6, 2012 at 2:21 am

He's not a Jew, but from watching his show, it's pretty clear he's left leaning, which is suprising from a guy of his age coming out of Indianpolis. In fact, he's not at all afraid to share his viewpoints on things when he has a politician on, which is something I can't say of Jay who wants to badly to be liked that he takes both sides of every motherfucking issue, the coward.

user-of-owls March 5, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Sounds like the fat man is singing. It's over.

sati_demise March 5, 2012 at 7:56 pm

One can only hope and pray this is true.

ShaveTheWhales March 5, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Well, the fat man is whinging. Not sure it's over yet.

weej_bain March 5, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Can't we get Rushie the Hut frozen in some Carbonite?

Joshua Norton March 5, 2012 at 3:09 pm

descended to their level, when I used those two words to describe Sandra Fluke,

Dittoheads refrain:
Well-a well-a well-a huh
Tell me more, tell me more, did she dress like a whore?
Tell me more, tell me more, were you able to score?

OneDollarJuana March 5, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Rush apologized for using those two words, but he also called the American People pimps. I am offended. I am not a pimp. I don't even own a yellow hat, let alone being a pimp.

In retrospect, it turns out I do have a yellow hat, but it's a baseball cap. Hardly pimpish at all.

BornInATrailer March 5, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Actually, I believe he corrected himself and decided that we're Johns (because we're paying) no pimps. He doesn't really know how that business works because he has people to pay the rentboy pimps for him.

An_Outhouse March 5, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I wonder if the non-prescribed blue pills Rush uses when he's raping boys in the Dominican Republic are covered by his insurance plan.

NellCote71 March 5, 2012 at 6:34 pm

No, he has his housekeeper get them for him illegally, which he picks up in a mall parking lot. Oh, wait. That was the Oxycocaine. Never mind.

banana_bread March 5, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Yes, of course it's LIBERALS who will say any vile thing that springs to mind in order to advance their own twisted agenda.

Rush is the darkest pot that ever called a kettle black.

MadBrahms March 5, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Yeah, I totally remember all of those times Rachel Maddow and Lawrence O'Donnell engaged in borderline slander / wanton slut-shaming. Thanks for reminding us of your constant struggle against liberal misogyny.

(I would like to punch that man in the voicebox, repeatedly.)

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Well, to be fair, Keith Olbermann refers to Mr. Limbaugh as "The Comedian", which is slanderous to many Canadians.

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Has Sarah Palin tweeted "Don't retreat, Reload" yet?

Texan_Bulldog March 5, 2012 at 3:16 pm

She may not want to remind the world about Bristol..ahem.

FakaktaSouth March 5, 2012 at 3:19 pm

See that there is some more of that Viagra/birth-control confusion. Perchance that's why all the Tricks and Traps keep falling out of these people and such…

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 8:11 pm

"MAAAAA!!! Bristol did a baby in her pants!"

Loaded_Pants March 5, 2012 at 9:23 pm

"….Again!"

sharethegrief March 5, 2012 at 3:13 pm

We need to go more feminazi on his substantial ass.

Tilley March 5, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Let me know when, my sister. It's been about 10 years since I really went fully feminazi on a bloated insufferably arrogant gasbag's big fat ass. BTW, thank you Wonkette for existing and allowing me to say so many naughty words without fear of being disappeared.

102415 March 5, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Promise me we won't invade his Russia, last time that was not so good.Fighting a land war across the lard in winter is too much marching. Boots boots boots.

Rayn_And March 5, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Oxycontin chewing asshole…Damn, I did that liberal thing again.

Chillwillard March 5, 2012 at 3:16 pm

"Against my own instincts, against my own knowledge, against everything I know to be right and wrong, "

That's the Oxycotin kicking in, Rush. Liberals have nothing to do with it.

StarsUponThars March 5, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Rush Limbaugh is to integrity as Catholic priests are to not fucking little boys.

Tundra Grifter March 5, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Lotta Wonkettes watched "60 Minutes" last night!

StarsUponThars March 5, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I don't have the teevees, what did I miss?

Tundra Grifter March 5, 2012 at 8:21 pm

A heart-breakingly sad story about Catholic priests in Ireland abusing young boys.

StarsUponThars March 5, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Unreal, isn't it? The Sisters of Perpetual Misery were pulling that same shit in the orphanages too:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magdalene_asylum

widestanceromance March 5, 2012 at 3:17 pm

OK, everyone, by our collective power, we should all focus on making him think the revolver he is drunkenly playing with is not loaded. . .ready, set, focus.

valgal2342 March 5, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Damn, I knew I should've gone to law school. I would LOVE to represent Sandra in the slander case of the century. What fun!

MrFizzy March 5, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I have been trying to think of what Limbaugh reminds me of, and I have finally come up with the answer – an infected boil. I was going to say carbuncle, but I don't know what that is exactly. Not that it matters.

cheetojeebus March 5, 2012 at 3:40 pm

carbuncles are pretty nasty. really nasty, but the stapuff boil is in a class all his own.

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Ah. A discussion on supperating pustules in a thread about Rush Limbaugh. Who says that Wonkete isn't educational?

gullywompr March 5, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Carbuncle is plural for Republican.

You know, a gaggle of geese… a pod of whales… a carbuncle of Republicans…

ShaveTheWhales March 5, 2012 at 11:05 pm

The pilonidal cyst just grew until it encompassed all of Rushie.

FakaktaSouth March 5, 2012 at 3:23 pm

The transcript of his show accidentally popped up in front of me – wayward clicking is always such a risk – and this guy cannot stop. HE TURNED DOWN GM YOU HEAR??? HE CARES NOT ABOUT MONEY, it's just his ditto-heads and him. True love always. I am truly digging the kamikaze of it all.

a_pink_poodle March 5, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Yeah I think that's about as close to a genuine apology from Mr Limbaugh we'll ever get.

Eve8Apples March 5, 2012 at 3:23 pm

He's like Mitt Romney. The more he talks and explains himself, the less the American public like him.

DCBloom March 5, 2012 at 3:26 pm

The Liberals made him do it. Well, of course. We started it.

The Talk was just on. It was great to see Sharon Osbourne talking about how disgusting and bulbous he is. She made the word bulbous sound worse than santorum.

Tundra Grifter March 5, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Andrew Breitbart never apologized.

Of course, to be perfectly fair, so far Boss BlunderRush hasn't either.

Come here a minute March 5, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I'm glad Rush explained how liberals made him use words that he did not mean to use. Now he has to explain how liberals made him completely misunderstand how birth control pills work.

imissopus March 5, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Ha ha, this old "we're only mean because liberals are so mean" meme again.

Apparently Rush today also stood by his belief that Fluke should not have been asked to testify before Congress because "she doesn't have any expertise" in this area. As opposed to all the bishops and priests and rabbis we saw lined up at the witness table.

To her credit, Sandra Fluke on The View said his apology is essentially meaningless and she was glad he hadn't personally called her because she wouldn't want to talk to him.

Whatta dick.

SorosBot March 5, 2012 at 3:42 pm

But how could any woman have any expertise on birth control pills? After all, they're just girls!

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Now let's all forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream!

BigRadio March 5, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I find it absurd that he's abandoned his original "Oh yeah, I use absurdity to illustrate absurdity argument."

crybabyboehner March 5, 2012 at 3:33 pm

A class act all the way around.

Nostrildamus March 5, 2012 at 4:03 pm

And it's a long, long way around.

dijetlo March 5, 2012 at 3:35 pm

You know, in decent countries, this kind of apology usually takes the form of haiku

Dog shit fed the rose
A Fluke bloom in the winter
My tongue dug my grave

If you're listening Rush, if you REALLY had "conservative principles" you'd realize nothing says "I fucked up" like your severed, malformed head rolling across a sheet of rice paper.

Just sayin…

Nostrildamus March 5, 2012 at 4:08 pm

A head rife with bile
Spews forth a putrid fountain.
Piss off you steaming, bloated, shit-stained, pus factory son-of-a-bitch dog-fucker.

natoslug March 5, 2012 at 4:18 pm

In decent countries, defamation laws (I'm LOOKING AT YOU, CANADA!) would bankrupt the bloated fat fuck.

ShaveTheWhales March 5, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Followed by seppuku.

Negropolis March 6, 2012 at 2:25 am

In decent countries, this kind of shame is rendered in ritualistic suicide. Jus' sayin'.

barto March 5, 2012 at 3:37 pm

You know I'm just going to have to take Rush at his word on this one.

Oh wait, no I don't.

JustPixelz March 5, 2012 at 3:38 pm

I recall Jack Stuef was basically fired by this very blog for using just one bad word. Fired! Your move, Clear Channel.

Joshua Norton March 5, 2012 at 3:38 pm

“I have always tried to maintain a very high degree of integrity and independence on this program.”

This is what happens when a sociopath tries to sound like a normal person.

Wonderthing March 5, 2012 at 3:43 pm

The only people who are going to buy this shit are the ones who own Rush blow-up dolls. The dolls with a lifelike prick that they suck.

crybabyboehner March 5, 2012 at 3:52 pm

a teensy weensy one

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 8:16 pm

A "lifelike" prick?
That's more than Rush has.

Loaded_Pants March 5, 2012 at 8:36 pm

The Real Rush Doll puts all the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloons to shame.

grandinquisitor March 5, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I can't imagine why his wives keep leaving him.

Barrelhse March 5, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Can you imagine getting one of those after she's been used by him?

grandinquisitor March 5, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Ick. Just. Ick. I don't even want to imagine that naked.

HeadlockSally March 5, 2012 at 6:07 pm

I can't imagine why they keep marrying him in the first place.

MissNancyPriss March 5, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I wonder what he will say at the Breitbart funeral. Not making fun of the dead, I really wonder.

mrblifil March 5, 2012 at 3:59 pm

I'm guessing he'll say something like "Sandra Fluke is a slut and a prostitute." It's just his nature.

Barrelhse March 5, 2012 at 4:05 pm

"Slut" and "prostitute?"

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 4:22 pm

"The mainstream media wants President Obama to succeed because he is a black President."

Loaded_Pants March 5, 2012 at 9:52 pm

If Rush had a moment of clarity and full honesty, he'd say something along the lines of what one of my aunts said at the burial of one of her ex-husbands:
"Well, we are burying a body of truth today…because it never came out of him."

chascates March 5, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Oh, Rusty! You use vile language on everyone! It's why you became a disc jockey in the first place; since you can only interact with people remotely and are deathly afraid of being bullied yourself.
And your remarks suggesting women need to take a birth control pill after each sexual encounter reveals in spite of your sham marriages you don't know the first thing about female reproduction.

rickmaci March 5, 2012 at 3:57 pm

He should have used the Dick Santhorrible cop out: I didn't say those words, I never use those words. I was going to say some word and changed my mind and it just came out sounding wrong. What I said was "sluh" and prha".

slowhansolo March 5, 2012 at 4:03 pm

He's sorry if you didn't hear what he would have said if it wasn't someone else's fault.

BarackMyWorld March 5, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Great, now his dittoheads are going to treat him like a martyr.

NellCote71 March 5, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Martyrs are usually dead, right? Just sayin'. . . .

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 4:25 pm

How are his lawsuits going? The ones that he said he was going to file against people that called him a racist.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 5, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Dear Rush:

Thank you for making sure by your half-ass apology that Conservative's hatred of women and their health issues will continue for a few more days.

Preferred Customer March 5, 2012 at 4:29 pm

" I feel very badly "

Mr. Limbaugh, I am fairly certain you don't feel at all.

Loaded_Pants March 5, 2012 at 9:44 pm

The only thing he feels is himself.

And with that, I will now throw up & cut my own head off with a chainsaw.

OneYieldRegular March 5, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Rush who?

glamourdammerung March 5, 2012 at 7:04 pm

The host of the "Drug Pig Radio Show".

owhatever March 5, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Strange how that ole free market works, ain't it, Rush?

40 or 50 % McShineys March 5, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Keep digging, Rush.

notreelyhelping March 5, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Isn't that kind of like setting a cherry bomb off in your ass, and then saying, I'm sorry?

BarackMyWorld March 5, 2012 at 5:36 pm

HE'S STILL MISSING THE POINT OF WHY HE WAS WRONG.

Yes, the words he used were wrong, but the point he was trying to make was wrong, too! First of all, he insists HE (a tax-payer) has to pay for her coverage. This controversy originally erupted because Catholic bishops objected to church-sponsored employers being told to include contraceptive coverage in their healthcare plans. Limbaugh has erased both the church and insurance companies from this and inserted himself and tax-payer money into it. Second, he insists she wouldn't need the contraceptives to be covered in her insurance if she wasn't sexually promiscuous, because he has no idea how birth control pills work. It is a prescription taken daily, not something only taken on an as-need basis. Third, he is oblivious to the reasons doctors prescribe these pills that have nothing to do with sex.

NellCote71 March 5, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Well, no wonder Limpbaugh is all out of sorts. It is the anniversary for his oxycontin arrest: http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-201_162-1561324.html

Everyone, be sure to send him a Happy Anniversary card, Tweet, whatevers.

rocktonsam March 5, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Mush was sorry after he lost 10 sponsors.

Who is the real slut ?

Troglodeity March 5, 2012 at 6:40 pm

"Against my own instincts, against my own knowledge, against everything I know to be right and wrong … " I pissed off my advertisers.

NellCote71 March 5, 2012 at 6:42 pm

The real death of one and the metaphorical death of another wingnut commentator within a week's time? Sweet Jeebuz.

Andrew Drinker March 5, 2012 at 7:06 pm

I've ignored Rush Limbaugh for years and now all you people won't stop talking about him! Dammit!

glamourdammerung March 5, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Personal responsibility!

horsedreamer_1 March 5, 2012 at 7:30 pm

As my erstwhile Dittohead Nemesis learned, once you stop calling the pretty ones "Popsicle girl", you stand a better chance of getting some.

& he's an erstwhile Dittohead, true, but I still don't buy his progressive rap — I say he feints left for the nookie. In the end, he's the same whitebread Dirty Stallis cat he always would have been. Just, with a soupçon of "gotta get mine" unionism (his wife is a teacher, but he's self-employed; he's only pro-union for the health insurance — his own).

Tilley March 5, 2012 at 7:46 pm

You know what? I'm starting to lose a few degrees of self-esteem each time I purposely read something about this whole clusterfuck. I think I'll stop doing so, now.

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 8:05 pm

"I'm sorry the slut prostitute was offended by my calling her a slut prostitute, but there's a very good reason that I called her a slut prostitute — the big bad liberals made me do it."

blogmomme March 5, 2012 at 8:27 pm

The marketplace has already spoken against Rush a couple years ago. He wanted to be part owner of an NFL team ( I think the St Louis Rams) and his bid was denied by the NFL and the NFLPA. This was because of the racism that is evident in his rants against President Obama. The players were the driving force behind the rejection of his bid.

luckismine March 5, 2012 at 8:35 pm

First they came for the sluts,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a slut.

Then they came for the prostitutes,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a prostitute.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

luckismine March 5, 2012 at 8:35 pm

First they came for the sluts,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a slut.

Then they came for the prostitutes,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a prostitute.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

valthemus March 5, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Now we just have to wait for half-assed apologies from all the dittoheads shouting "Go, Rush!" when he was being a dick. I'm new here, how long does that usually take?

Guppy March 5, 2012 at 9:44 pm

"Against my own instincts,"

What's this? The words weren't ad-libbed or improvised? Sounds like they were scripted, then.

Where's the TelePrompTer?

Fukui-sanYesOta March 5, 2012 at 10:06 pm

I posted a Rush-related joke from Free Republic in this thread and it got deleted without even a "comment deleted by administrator"

Most odd. Too long, I suppose. I hold no grudges.

ShaveTheWhales March 5, 2012 at 11:17 pm

One thing I would like to ask is that whenever one composes an appropriate epithet to describe ol' Rusty, please include either the noun "coward", or, if more suitable in the particular epithet under discussion, the adjective "cowardly".

Because the great bloated gasbag of dishonesty and middle-school insults is, at his core, a coward, and people should be reminded of this.

Thank you.

paulabflat March 6, 2012 at 1:40 pm

i use this first.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNK4byQkn7w

then come the cowardly coward references.

MarionNYNY March 6, 2012 at 12:20 am

So he blames the libruls for making him say those "two words."
He apologizes for saying them, but not for distorting and lying about her entire testimony.
Class act.

Let's hope she sues the shit out of him.

C_R_Eature March 6, 2012 at 6:15 am

So, let me get this straight, Mr. Limbaugh:: "Liberals" made you conduct a 3 day, Internationally broadcast full frontal assault on the character, dignity and personal habits of a private citizen who volunteered to testify before congress about the adverse health effects of women being denied health care coverage for hormonal pharmacologicals that have a wide variety of benefits, among which is Birth Control. Simply because she stood on the "wrong side" of the issue from the Republican party.
During this extended bout of character assassination, you just happen to fly off the handle (because of Liberals) using those two words in fact and by implication 52 times, claiming – falsely -that she has "so much sex" that she can't afford all those pills (and, as an aside, exhibiting your complete ignorance about how hormonal birth control actually works) And, to top it all off, you are so enraged by Liberals that you demand Ms Fluke record videotape of her sexual encounters and send them to you. I see.
You claim that you were made so angry – by Liberals – that you descended to our level.

Mr. Limbaugh. If your behavior is "Descending" to try to reach my level, you are going the wrong way.

Sincerely, CRE.

EDIT: Almost forgot: Go Away and Fuck Yourself, you disgusting vacuous overpaid skinbag of middle school resentments, methane, Viagra, Oxycontin and adipose tissue.

lulzmonger March 6, 2012 at 9:34 am

Buck-passing notwithstanding, Troll's Remorse = Rush is a LOSER.

The sooner Rush models his show on Budd Dwyers' last press-conference, the merrier.

Remember to aim for the roof of the mouth, Rush.

What0Now0Toons March 6, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Limbaugh doesn't know how to apologize for anything! And he has finally gone too far and shown the entire world his true inner scumbag! Now AOL, Carbonite, and the few of Rush's advertisers that are standing up for decency on the public airwaves, I salute you. The rest of you should wake up and smell the excrement! My latest cartoon is about this misogynistic bloated windbag that is polluting the national discourse !
Left of center independent political cartoons

ttommyunger March 7, 2012 at 7:31 am

It's nice watching him twist in the wind, I like it- a lot.

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Ah blow mah nose at you!

MissTaken March 5, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Which are still the style of the time.

smitallica March 5, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Well, I suppose I could stay a BIT longer…

snickersnack March 5, 2012 at 8:17 pm

I watched this with my kids for the first time this weekend and completely forgot about this part. "Mom, what kind of sex?"

anniegetyerfun March 6, 2012 at 10:24 am

Oh, weird. I swore I saw an episode where he talked about being Jewish.

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