WILY PRANKSTERS  12:47 pm March 5, 2012

Manure Nut Comes Up With Funniest Political Craiglist Joke Ever

by Jim Newell

Oh look, here’s some joe trying to sell his manure spreader on the ‘puter. And it’s fifty years old — what a steal! We bring this to you, however, not simply as the latest installment in the Wonkette Springtime $hopping Guide. We think there is some sort of metaphor at work here, on Craigslist… a political metaphor maybe? This is a hoot and a half!

So is there really a manure spreader for sale or…?? He’s not had many takers in the past month, it seems.

Anyway, this is no way to talk about Kathleen Sebelius or the U.S. Trade Representative or whoever.

[Craigslist]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 129 comments }

nounverb911 March 5, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Is Santorum that old?

RedneckMuslin March 5, 2012 at 1:18 pm

What do you mean…that old?

ttommyunger March 5, 2012 at 12:51 pm

How dare he pollute Limbaugh's bridal search engine with such drivel; "Number 5, number 5!"

nounverb911 March 5, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Breitbart's placing ads from the dead?

Gratuitous World March 5, 2012 at 12:52 pm

So it's 2012 and these hilljacks still think they hold title to all "teh blacks."

weej_bain March 5, 2012 at 12:57 pm

GW, teh blahs please. This is the age of dog whistles and not of the Pettus Bridge.

L188188 March 5, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Thumbs up for the phrase "hilljacks." I know that to be a North Dakota phrase…??? More commonly stated as "hilljackers".

MadBrahms March 5, 2012 at 12:52 pm

The worst part is that it was posted in "casual encounters"

Gratuitous World March 5, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Fat White Male Looking For Someone To Affirm Bigotry?

(Must be Rascal Accessible)

Mumbletypeg March 5, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Even so… I'm willing to bet the author's synapses are full of "Missed Connections" too~

DaRooster March 5, 2012 at 2:22 pm

He figured, "Hell, I am already in this section so I will just post it in the M4T area."

Generation[redacted] March 5, 2012 at 12:53 pm

That's a bargain. Sheldon Adelson paid way more for his old manure spreader.

Clancy_Pants March 5, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Dammit! I just spit coffee all over my computer laughing so hard. Oh wait, that was a seizure.

MittsHairHelmet March 5, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Unfunny GOP Obama-joke chain emails: Now on Craigslist!

chicken_thief March 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Ya, I too saw that email long ago. What really cracks me up about right wing "humor" is how many Bush jokes they recycled for Obama. Not the racist ones, of course, but many many of the others. My replies with the Bush original are always met with stony silence.

Designer_Rants March 5, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Your friends and family still send you the chain emails? Lucky!

mrpuma2u March 5, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Ugh. 3 years and they are still sore losers. Talk about your grudge holders. Barry is the POTUS, old white cranky dude. Get over it.

MissTaken March 5, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Does not appear to have ever been worked very hard.

Oh no, I'm sure Michelle has worked over Barack VERY hard.

Guppy March 5, 2012 at 1:01 pm

And if not, you volunteer?

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 1:33 pm

At least twice.

horsedreamer_1 March 5, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Plus, she's the one who had to endure the birthing, so that earned a few more rough sessions.

Chichikovovich March 5, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Shoorly the Craigslist guy means that the "politician as manure spreader" joke is fifty years old. At least.

Guppy March 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

But no older than 6000 years.

ManchuCandidate March 5, 2012 at 12:54 pm

I guess the glory hole at CPAC isn't what it used to be.

Baconzgood March 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I don't get it….OHHHHHHHH I get it now. This seller is stupid and trying to make a funny.

Graigslist troll FAIL!

orygoon March 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

What do you wanna bet that this masterpiece spreads like a virus?

freakishlywrong March 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Oh fuck these assholes. Really.

elviouslyqueer March 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Oh please. John Boehner's way older than 50.

Designer_Rants March 5, 2012 at 3:01 pm

And he looks pretty worn out. $1 might be asking too much.

FakaktaSouth March 5, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Y'ALL it saaaaays PAMPERED – I just wanna know why he's hating on David Vitter now? That's such old news – but I'm totes with him.

BaldarTFlagass March 5, 2012 at 12:56 pm

What a knee slapper.

Chillatte March 5, 2012 at 12:56 pm

See? And then they say Conservaturds don't have a sense of humor…"WHAT? KNICKERS!!!"

Pop_Socket March 5, 2012 at 4:46 pm

"But I can say….knickers!"

How that song is not number one with a bullet, I know not.

BaldarTFlagass March 5, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Howkum werdz iz all speld korrect?

Barrelhse March 5, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Spelcheck.

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Cut and Paste

BigRadio March 5, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I'll bet he has a great relationship with the manure spreaders.

fartknocker March 5, 2012 at 12:58 pm

I'll trade him the Rick Perry Model 1 shit spreader. It's equipped with the gay sex Santorum spreading attachment. Mine is about 14 years old and has been a piece of shit every since it arrived.

This guy's an idiot because I've seen the Kenyan model do more work in one weekend than that crappy Rick Perry Model 1 shit spreader. I'll even pay shipping for the trade.

SayItWithWookies March 5, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Considering that Lynchburg is a hundred years backwards in time, a fifty-year-old anything is state of the art.

nounverb911 March 5, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Which section on Craigslist should I advertise my latest book "101 Uses for a Dead Breitbart"?

Fukui-sanYesOta March 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

"arts+crafts"

imissopus March 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm

casual encounters

TeaNuts March 5, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Used Tools

StarsUponThars March 5, 2012 at 12:58 pm

From the LA Times, March 19, 1990:

"Barack Obama stares silently at a wall of fading black-and-white photographs in the muggy second-floor offices of the Harvard Law Review. He lingers over one row of solemn faces, his predecessors of 40 years ago.

All are men. All are dressed in dark-colored suits and ties. All are white.

It is a sobering moment for Obama, 28, who in February became the first black to be elected president in the 102-year history of the prestigious student-run law journal.

The post, considered the highest honor a student can attain at Harvard Law School, almost always leads to a coveted clerkship with the U.S. Supreme Court after graduation and a lucrative offer from the law firm of one's choice."

Yes, it does appear that this manure spreader has never worked very hard.

prommie March 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm

jesus h fucking christ, I graduated from law school before the president. i am such a failure.

HistoriCat March 5, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Today we are all failures Prommie.

prommie March 5, 2012 at 4:03 pm

To start with, the Times never did a feature profile of me when I was in law school!

Limeylizzie March 5, 2012 at 9:45 pm

No, you helped me hook up my Blu-Ray player and it gives me great joy, that, dearest Prommie is success.

Generation[redacted] March 5, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Thanks for that, I'm saving this as a stock reply to all the Facebook retweets I'm sure I'm going to see.

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Maybe after his gig as President, President Hillary Clinton could appoint him to the Supreme Court? President Obama will still be a young guy with a lot of time on his hands.

horsedreamer_1 March 5, 2012 at 4:56 pm

We call this move Taft Punk.

Advn2rgirl March 5, 2012 at 8:00 pm

That was awesome.

ShaveTheWhales March 5, 2012 at 10:06 pm

I bow to your ingenuity.

Blueb4sunrise March 5, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Pshaw! Guy I know said the other day that his cat would be a better Pres. than Barry.
Oh, now THAT'S how to bring teh funneez.

LesBontemps March 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Is it a jazz cat?

starfanglednut March 5, 2012 at 1:33 pm

A hep cat?

Generation[redacted] March 5, 2012 at 1:48 pm

a lol cat?

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 2:32 pm

A cat o' nine tails?

FlownOver March 5, 2012 at 2:49 pm

A Catolic bishop?

102415 March 5, 2012 at 9:34 pm

He needs to go to Cat Bidet Magazine dot something. I forget .

Callyson March 5, 2012 at 12:59 pm

What, just the one manure spreader? How about a discount rate for those who want to buy in bulk? Say, $10 for the Republicans in Congress–or maybe $15 if you throw in the GOP presidential candidates?

Baconzgood March 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

You're overpaying.

ShaveTheWhales March 5, 2012 at 10:07 pm

What the fuck would you do with them?

Callyson March 5, 2012 at 10:44 pm

A one way ticket to…aw, crap, I can't think of a location that deserves to be cursed with their presence…
OK, fine, time to make Soylent Green out of their sorry asses…but who on earth would we feed that crap to?
Dammit, there must be an answer somewhere…

Texan_Bulldog March 5, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Must be a Democratic hoax: minimal typos.

Exhausted66 March 5, 2012 at 1:19 pm

It's "Democrat" hoax, silly.

Schmannnity March 5, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Next week's high-larious bargain: Watermelon picker.

BigRadio March 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

hardee har har. Don't ferget the Money Redistributor Machine too.
yep, that's a real knee slapper.

MrFizzy March 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Exactly the sort of person who didn't finish high school, collects medicare and social security, and has nothing better to do than sit around all day criticizing someone who does something useful. Pricks like this ought to read Obama's autobiography if they want to hear about someone working hard and getting somewhere. Of course that would involve the mental strain of reading, so it's unlikely.

finallyhappy March 5, 2012 at 2:36 pm

I've read that book and it has many words that have more than 4 letters and many pages – plus it doesn't have lots of pictures. So they will just go with the FOXpeople who tell them he didn't work hard and being a college and law student, editor of the law review, community organizer and law professor is all nothing.

Chichikovovich March 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm

You'd think the Craigslist poster would be afraid to make such a public declaration, what with the Obama hit squad making the rounds.

(First they came for the drug binging shrieking conservative bloggers, and I said nothing. Then they came for the yokels posting efforts at humor that would be rejected with extreme prejudice from Hee Haw, and I said nothing…. )

Steverino247 March 5, 2012 at 1:37 pm

First, they came for the drug binging shrieking conservative bloggers and I said, "Well, it's about fucking time." Then they came for the yokels posting efforts at humor that would be rejected with extreme prejudice from Hee Haw and I said, "Honey, they finally caught that asshole responsible for those racist chain e-mails my aunt sends us."

Designer_Rants March 5, 2012 at 3:11 pm

LOL: Hee Haw rejection. "Why don't they call?"

Chillwillard March 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

To be fair, GOP manure is not easy to handle and it only spreads well in the South.

freakishlywrong March 5, 2012 at 1:05 pm

I wonder which Bush appointed federal judge that poster is?

starfanglednut March 5, 2012 at 1:35 pm

All of them, Katie.

SorosBot March 5, 2012 at 1:06 pm

"Does not appear to have ever been worked very hard. "

Wingnuts, for a joke to be funny it has to reflect reality. Guess what, being a community organizer as you like to mock is hard work. So is being a lawyer, especially for one of the back-breaking big firms. Oh but I forgot, in bigot land all black people are lazy, and so it doesn't matter how much hard work any black man has actually done, it still doesn't count.

chicken_thief March 5, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Just ask Mittens. Isn't he also essentially a community organizer for the LDS?

Generation[redacted] March 5, 2012 at 1:28 pm

I guess going to Paris to talk about your religion is a lot harder than it sounds.

chicken_thief March 5, 2012 at 1:43 pm

No, no, no. After the crashing cars and having to subsist on dreadful Parisian food period. I saw an article recently, but only briefly scanned it, that compared Mormon elders or whatever they are called to community organizers.

MadBrahms March 5, 2012 at 1:37 pm

I'm pretty sure "community organizing" is a lot easier when you can bulk up your membership rolls by baptizing dead people.

FraAnima March 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Hyuck hyuck whoo weeee! That there is some funny shit! Good gawdamn! I haven't laughed this hard since Leroy fell face first into the pig stye!

Mumbletypeg March 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm

If this schmuck has enough trouble with operating instructions of farm equipment — imagine the difficulty he undergoes in the effort to "pamper" his "pedigreed" purchases when he gets them home from the state fair or wherever?

Baconzgood March 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA. No I wasn't thinking about what this guy said I was thinking of this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmXacL0Uny0

BigRadio March 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

It's meta-humor, people.

SorosBot March 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm

OT but Big Government has released the huge scoop the sleaze merchant was working on before his welcome though sadly pain free death that was supposed to destroy the Obama administration, and it's that – Obama once attended a play. About Saul Alinsky, their new favored long-dead bogeyman. And that's it. And the world yawns:
http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2012/03/04/i-am-beco

MadBrahms March 5, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Breitbart always was a fan of drama.

horsedreamer_1 March 5, 2012 at 5:01 pm

TNT LIBEL!!!!

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 2:41 pm

That Andrew Breitbart must of been a real prick.

Designer_Rants March 5, 2012 at 3:49 pm

So when his wacko conspiratards were braying on about him "Working on something BIG", murder, blecchh, etc., it was just the usual trumped-up nothingness. Like ACORN, like whatsername's career-ending not-racist racism, and now a play. What an asshole.

fuflans March 5, 2012 at 5:38 pm

i remember that company and that show. their artistic director was murdered a couple years back. (don't tell that to the wingtards).

so, bamz lived in chicago and went to the theatre of an evening and that's news? on any given night there are like 150 shows here usually with 10 people in the audience. if you're lucky.

i would still be recovering if barry had ever been in any of my audiences.

Generation[redacted] March 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

I'm guessing Alito.

horsedreamer_1 March 5, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Dago come, & me want to impeach .

Biff March 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Herp.

FraAnima March 5, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Derp.

Barrelhse March 5, 2012 at 2:13 pm

e.

donner_froh March 5, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Cracker Barrel humor is always in quiet good taste.

4TheTurnstiles March 5, 2012 at 1:18 pm

What happened to the manure dispenser that led us into a three trillion dollar war on false pretenses? I don't remember Mr CraigsList objecting to that one.

CapnFatback March 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

SHOW US THE LONG-FORM SALES RECEIPT!

muthalovin March 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Green shoots!

Nostrildamus March 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Heh, heh. That Bob Hope is a hoot.

By cracky.

Barrelhse March 5, 2012 at 2:11 pm

OK, "Blonde have black hair, by cracky."

LesBontemps March 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

TL;DR

(Same response if it were less than 5 words.)

BigRadio March 5, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Next up: The Mark Russell Comedy Hour.

L188188 March 5, 2012 at 1:54 pm

With a special performance by the Capitol Steps I hope! They sure do give the business to all those Washington popinjays.

JPBadinage March 5, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Why is Wonkette still trawling craigslist for story ideas? Breitbart hasn't posted in m4m for days

flamingpdog March 5, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Dude needs a good manure-kicking.

738838 March 5, 2012 at 1:57 pm

It is ok to contact this poster with any kind of crap or other commercial interests.

proudgrampa March 5, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Nyuk. Nyuk.

Redhead March 5, 2012 at 2:01 pm

What? When did the GOP discover that Craigslist has more than posters seeking anonymous sex?

40 or 50 % McShineys March 5, 2012 at 2:07 pm

L = Letarded?

Barrelhse March 5, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I imagine that this drivel passes for clever, witty, and thought-provoking in some circles.

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 2:43 pm

When the standard you have to beat is "blah people are monkeys", it's not that hard to be clever and witty, at least by comparison.

Naked_Bunny March 5, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Not in GOP circles, though. Too subtle.

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 2:28 pm

"You guys ever dress up farm animals in women's clothing? Kuh-hyuk!"

Fukui-sanYesOta March 5, 2012 at 2:41 pm

"Ah print out a pikchah of Sarah Palin to paste on their heads! Hyuketty-doo!"

Tundra Grifter March 5, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Too subtle.

But a laff riot, nonetheless. Also (for Barb!).

JustPixelz March 5, 2012 at 2:54 pm

My guess is this guy is auditioning for one of those high-paying Wonkette blogger jobs. ]

Limeylizzie March 5, 2012 at 3:36 pm

I answered this ad, truly, and am now having a very spirited debate with this asshole.

HistoriCat March 5, 2012 at 4:01 pm

You are a treasure Lizzie!

Limeylizzie March 5, 2012 at 4:14 pm

He called me a Marxist bitch and asked if I went to Georgetown Law, he is not exactly a genius, that ad must have taken it out of him.

Limeylizzie March 5, 2012 at 4:19 pm

This upon finding out I went to Oxford…That figures. Ivy League elitist hell bent on throwing away the Constitution for the hollow promises of a Marxist president and his handlers in order to bring in the great utopia on earth. Been tried before, sister. Doesn't work! Just ask millions of murdered men, women, and children. Oh, thats right… you can't. They're dead! Mostly, the left's buzz words – wealth distribution, diversity, social justice, and now reproductive rights are only code words for “Get Whitey”BTW, I have noticed how eager those of you are to throw out the racist charge for no other reason than being in disagreement with The Great Divider… who is not “black”, but is of mixed race, of which the caucasian half is conveniently forgotten.Personally, I don't give a rat's ass if the president is pea green and has a big eye in the center of his forehead as long as he/she respects the foundations of the Republic and provides their leadership within the confines of the Constitution. I never mentioned race. You did.

horsedreamer_1 March 5, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Ask what he meant by "Kenya" & "Indonesia".

ShaveTheWhales March 5, 2012 at 10:15 pm

"Ivy League elitist hell"? Oxford would get motherfucking elitist about that
insult.

Fukui-sanYesOta March 6, 2012 at 12:34 am

Harvard was founded in 1636. That's nearly 400 years after the first Oxford college.

Parvenu fucks.

elburritodeluxe March 5, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Good luck. DC is a buyer's market for manure spreaders.

Soylent Green March 5, 2012 at 7:56 pm

If it can break up those turd blossoms, I'll take five!

Designer_Rants March 5, 2012 at 3:08 pm
LesBontemps March 5, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Thanks alot, now I'm catatonic.

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