wily pranksters

Manure Nut Comes Up With Funniest Political Craiglist Joke Ever

Oh look, here’s some joe trying to sell his manure spreader on the ‘puter. And it’s fifty years old — what a steal! We bring this to you, however, not simply as the latest installment in the Wonkette Springtime $hopping Guide. We think there is some sort of metaphor at work here, on Craigslist… a political metaphor maybe? This is a hoot and a half!

So is there really a manure spreader for sale or…?? He’s not had many takers in the past month, it seems.

Anyway, this is no way to talk about Kathleen Sebelius or the U.S. Trade Representative or whoever.


About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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  1. ttommyunger

    How dare he pollute Limbaugh's bridal search engine with such drivel; "Number 5, number 5!"

    1. L188188

      Thumbs up for the phrase "hilljacks." I know that to be a North Dakota phrase…??? More commonly stated as "hilljackers".

    1. DaRooster

      He figured, "Hell, I am already in this section so I will just post it in the M4T area."

    1. chicken_thief

      Ya, I too saw that email long ago. What really cracks me up about right wing "humor" is how many Bush jokes they recycled for Obama. Not the racist ones, of course, but many many of the others. My replies with the Bush original are always met with stony silence.

    2. mrpuma2u

      Ugh. 3 years and they are still sore losers. Talk about your grudge holders. Barry is the POTUS, old white cranky dude. Get over it.

  2. MissTaken

    Does not appear to have ever been worked very hard.

    Oh no, I'm sure Michelle has worked over Barack VERY hard.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Plus, she's the one who had to endure the birthing, so that earned a few more rough sessions.

  3. Chichikovovich

    Shoorly the Craigslist guy means that the "politician as manure spreader" joke is fifty years old. At least.

  4. Baconzgood

    I don't get it….OHHHHHHHH I get it now. This seller is stupid and trying to make a funny.

    Graigslist troll FAIL!

  5. FakaktaSouth

    Y'ALL it saaaaays PAMPERED – I just wanna know why he's hating on David Vitter now? That's such old news – but I'm totes with him.

  6. fartknocker

    I'll trade him the Rick Perry Model 1 shit spreader. It's equipped with the gay sex Santorum spreading attachment. Mine is about 14 years old and has been a piece of shit every since it arrived.

    This guy's an idiot because I've seen the Kenyan model do more work in one weekend than that crappy Rick Perry Model 1 shit spreader. I'll even pay shipping for the trade.

  7. SayItWithWookies

    Considering that Lynchburg is a hundred years backwards in time, a fifty-year-old anything is state of the art.

  8. nounverb911

    Which section on Craigslist should I advertise my latest book "101 Uses for a Dead Breitbart"?

  9. StarsUponThars

    From the LA Times, March 19, 1990:

    "Barack Obama stares silently at a wall of fading black-and-white photographs in the muggy second-floor offices of the Harvard Law Review. He lingers over one row of solemn faces, his predecessors of 40 years ago.

    All are men. All are dressed in dark-colored suits and ties. All are white.

    It is a sobering moment for Obama, 28, who in February became the first black to be elected president in the 102-year history of the prestigious student-run law journal.

    The post, considered the highest honor a student can attain at Harvard Law School, almost always leads to a coveted clerkship with the U.S. Supreme Court after graduation and a lucrative offer from the law firm of one's choice."

    Yes, it does appear that this manure spreader has never worked very hard.

    1. prommie

      jesus h fucking christ, I graduated from law school before the president. i am such a failure.

      1. Limeylizzie

        No, you helped me hook up my Blu-Ray player and it gives me great joy, that, dearest Prommie is success.

    2. Generation[redacted]

      Thanks for that, I'm saving this as a stock reply to all the Facebook retweets I'm sure I'm going to see.

    3. GOPCrusher

      Maybe after his gig as President, President Hillary Clinton could appoint him to the Supreme Court? President Obama will still be a young guy with a lot of time on his hands.

  10. Blueb4sunrise

    Pshaw! Guy I know said the other day that his cat would be a better Pres. than Barry.
    Oh, now THAT'S how to bring teh funneez.

  11. Callyson

    What, just the one manure spreader? How about a discount rate for those who want to buy in bulk? Say, $10 for the Republicans in Congress–or maybe $15 if you throw in the GOP presidential candidates?

      1. Callyson

        A one way ticket to…aw, crap, I can't think of a location that deserves to be cursed with their presence…
        OK, fine, time to make Soylent Green out of their sorry asses…but who on earth would we feed that crap to?
        Dammit, there must be an answer somewhere…

    1. BigRadio

      hardee har har. Don't ferget the Money Redistributor Machine too.
      yep, that's a real knee slapper.

  12. MrFizzy

    Exactly the sort of person who didn't finish high school, collects medicare and social security, and has nothing better to do than sit around all day criticizing someone who does something useful. Pricks like this ought to read Obama's autobiography if they want to hear about someone working hard and getting somewhere. Of course that would involve the mental strain of reading, so it's unlikely.

    1. finallyhappy

      I've read that book and it has many words that have more than 4 letters and many pages – plus it doesn't have lots of pictures. So they will just go with the FOXpeople who tell them he didn't work hard and being a college and law student, editor of the law review, community organizer and law professor is all nothing.

  13. Chichikovovich

    You'd think the Craigslist poster would be afraid to make such a public declaration, what with the Obama hit squad making the rounds.

    (First they came for the drug binging shrieking conservative bloggers, and I said nothing. Then they came for the yokels posting efforts at humor that would be rejected with extreme prejudice from Hee Haw, and I said nothing…. )

    1. Steverino247

      First, they came for the drug binging shrieking conservative bloggers and I said, "Well, it's about fucking time." Then they came for the yokels posting efforts at humor that would be rejected with extreme prejudice from Hee Haw and I said, "Honey, they finally caught that asshole responsible for those racist chain e-mails my aunt sends us."

  14. SorosBot

    "Does not appear to have ever been worked very hard. "

    Wingnuts, for a joke to be funny it has to reflect reality. Guess what, being a community organizer as you like to mock is hard work. So is being a lawyer, especially for one of the back-breaking big firms. Oh but I forgot, in bigot land all black people are lazy, and so it doesn't matter how much hard work any black man has actually done, it still doesn't count.

      1. Generation[redacted]

        I guess going to Paris to talk about your religion is a lot harder than it sounds.

        1. chicken_thief

          No, no, no. After the crashing cars and having to subsist on dreadful Parisian food period. I saw an article recently, but only briefly scanned it, that compared Mormon elders or whatever they are called to community organizers.

      2. MadBrahms

        I'm pretty sure "community organizing" is a lot easier when you can bulk up your membership rolls by baptizing dead people.

  15. FraAnima

    Hyuck hyuck whoo weeee! That there is some funny shit! Good gawdamn! I haven't laughed this hard since Leroy fell face first into the pig stye!

  16. Mumbletypeg

    If this schmuck has enough trouble with operating instructions of farm equipment — imagine the difficulty he undergoes in the effort to "pamper" his "pedigreed" purchases when he gets them home from the state fair or wherever?

  17. SorosBot

    OT but Big Government has released the huge scoop the sleaze merchant was working on before his welcome though sadly pain free death that was supposed to destroy the Obama administration, and it's that – Obama once attended a play. About Saul Alinsky, their new favored long-dead bogeyman. And that's it. And the world yawns:

    1. Designer_Rants

      So when his wacko conspiratards were braying on about him "Working on something BIG", murder, blecchh, etc., it was just the usual trumped-up nothingness. Like ACORN, like whatsername's career-ending not-racist racism, and now a play. What an asshole.

    2. fuflans

      i remember that company and that show. their artistic director was murdered a couple years back. (don't tell that to the wingtards).

      so, bamz lived in chicago and went to the theatre of an evening and that's news? on any given night there are like 150 shows here usually with 10 people in the audience. if you're lucky.

      i would still be recovering if barry had ever been in any of my audiences.

  18. 4TheTurnstiles

    What happened to the manure dispenser that led us into a three trillion dollar war on false pretenses? I don't remember Mr CraigsList objecting to that one.

    1. L188188

      With a special performance by the Capitol Steps I hope! They sure do give the business to all those Washington popinjays.

  19. JPBadinage

    Why is Wonkette still trawling craigslist for story ideas? Breitbart hasn't posted in m4m for days

  20. Redhead

    What? When did the GOP discover that Craigslist has more than posters seeking anonymous sex?

  21. Barrelhse

    I imagine that this drivel passes for clever, witty, and thought-provoking in some circles.

    1. tessiee

      When the standard you have to beat is "blah people are monkeys", it's not that hard to be clever and witty, at least by comparison.

    1. Fukui-sanYesOta

      "Ah print out a pikchah of Sarah Palin to paste on their heads! Hyuketty-doo!"

  22. Limeylizzie

    I answered this ad, truly, and am now having a very spirited debate with this asshole.

      1. Limeylizzie

        He called me a Marxist bitch and asked if I went to Georgetown Law, he is not exactly a genius, that ad must have taken it out of him.

      2. Limeylizzie

        This upon finding out I went to Oxford…That figures. Ivy League elitist hell bent on throwing away the Constitution for the hollow promises of a Marxist president and his handlers in order to bring in the great utopia on earth. Been tried before, sister. Doesn't work! Just ask millions of murdered men, women, and children. Oh, thats right… you can't. They're dead! Mostly, the left's buzz words – wealth distribution, diversity, social justice, and now reproductive rights are only code words for “Get Whitey”BTW, I have noticed how eager those of you are to throw out the racist charge for no other reason than being in disagreement with The Great Divider… who is not “black”, but is of mixed race, of which the caucasian half is conveniently forgotten.Personally, I don't give a rat's ass if the president is pea green and has a big eye in the center of his forehead as long as he/she respects the foundations of the Republic and provides their leadership within the confines of the Constitution. I never mentioned race. You did.

        1. ShaveTheWhales

          "Ivy League elitist hell"? Oxford would get motherfucking elitist about that

          1. Fukui-sanYesOta

            Harvard was founded in 1636. That's nearly 400 years after the first Oxford college.

            Parvenu fucks.

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