wily pranksters

Manure Nut Comes Up With Funniest Political Craiglist Joke Ever

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Oh look, here’s some joe trying to sell his manure spreader on the ‘puter. And it’s fifty years old — what a steal! We bring this to you, however, not simply as the latest installment in the Wonkette Springtime $hopping Guide. We think there is some sort of metaphor at work here, on Craigslist… a political metaphor maybe? This is a hoot and a half!

So is there really a manure spreader for sale or…?? He’s not had many takers in the past month, it seems.

Anyway, this is no way to talk about Kathleen Sebelius or the U.S. Trade Representative or whoever.

[Craigslist]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • nounverb911

    Is Santorum that old?

    • RedneckMuslin

      What do you mean…that old?

  • ttommyunger

    How dare he pollute Limbaugh's bridal search engine with such drivel; "Number 5, number 5!"

  • nounverb911

    Breitbart's placing ads from the dead?

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    So it's 2012 and these hilljacks still think they hold title to all "teh blacks."

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      GW, teh blahs please. This is the age of dog whistles and not of the Pettus Bridge.

    • L188188

      Thumbs up for the phrase "hilljacks." I know that to be a North Dakota phrase…??? More commonly stated as "hilljackers".

  • MadBrahms

    The worst part is that it was posted in "casual encounters"

    • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

      Fat White Male Looking For Someone To Affirm Bigotry?

      (Must be Rascal Accessible)

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      Even so… I'm willing to bet the author's synapses are full of "Missed Connections" too~

    • DaRooster

      He figured, "Hell, I am already in this section so I will just post it in the M4T area."

  • Generation[redacted]

    That's a bargain. Sheldon Adelson paid way more for his old manure spreader.

  • http://wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

    Dammit! I just spit coffee all over my computer laughing so hard. Oh wait, that was a seizure.

  • MittsHairHelmet

    Unfunny GOP Obama-joke chain emails: Now on Craigslist!

    • chicken_thief

      Ya, I too saw that email long ago. What really cracks me up about right wing "humor" is how many Bush jokes they recycled for Obama. Not the racist ones, of course, but many many of the others. My replies with the Bush original are always met with stony silence.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Your friends and family still send you the chain emails? Lucky!

    • mrpuma2u

      Ugh. 3 years and they are still sore losers. Talk about your grudge holders. Barry is the POTUS, old white cranky dude. Get over it.

  • MissTaken

    Does not appear to have ever been worked very hard.

    Oh no, I'm sure Michelle has worked over Barack VERY hard.

    • Guppy

      And if not, you volunteer?

    • GOPCrusher

      At least twice.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Plus, she's the one who had to endure the birthing, so that earned a few more rough sessions.

  • Chichikovovich

    Shoorly the Craigslist guy means that the "politician as manure spreader" joke is fifty years old. At least.

    • Guppy

      But no older than 6000 years.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    I guess the glory hole at CPAC isn't what it used to be.

  • Baconzgood

    I don't get it….OHHHHHHHH I get it now. This seller is stupid and trying to make a funny.

    Graigslist troll FAIL!

  • orygoon

    What do you wanna bet that this masterpiece spreads like a virus?

  • freakishlywrong

    Oh fuck these assholes. Really.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh please. John Boehner's way older than 50.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      And he looks pretty worn out. $1 might be asking too much.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Y'ALL it saaaaays PAMPERED – I just wanna know why he's hating on David Vitter now? That's such old news – but I'm totes with him.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    What a knee slapper.

  • http://wonkette.com Chillatte

    See? And then they say Conservaturds don't have a sense of humor…"WHAT? KNICKERS!!!"

    • http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com Pop_Socket

      "But I can say….knickers!"

      How that song is not number one with a bullet, I know not.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Howkum werdz iz all speld korrect?

    • Barrelhse

      Spelcheck.

    • GOPCrusher

      Cut and Paste

  • BigRadio

    I'll bet he has a great relationship with the manure spreaders.

  • fartknocker

    I'll trade him the Rick Perry Model 1 shit spreader. It's equipped with the gay sex Santorum spreading attachment. Mine is about 14 years old and has been a piece of shit every since it arrived.

    This guy's an idiot because I've seen the Kenyan model do more work in one weekend than that crappy Rick Perry Model 1 shit spreader. I'll even pay shipping for the trade.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Considering that Lynchburg is a hundred years backwards in time, a fifty-year-old anything is state of the art.

  • nounverb911

    Which section on Craigslist should I advertise my latest book "101 Uses for a Dead Breitbart"?

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      "arts+crafts"

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      casual encounters

    • TeaNuts

      Used Tools

  • StarsUponThars

    From the LA Times, March 19, 1990:

    "Barack Obama stares silently at a wall of fading black-and-white photographs in the muggy second-floor offices of the Harvard Law Review. He lingers over one row of solemn faces, his predecessors of 40 years ago.

    All are men. All are dressed in dark-colored suits and ties. All are white.

    It is a sobering moment for Obama, 28, who in February became the first black to be elected president in the 102-year history of the prestigious student-run law journal.

    The post, considered the highest honor a student can attain at Harvard Law School, almost always leads to a coveted clerkship with the U.S. Supreme Court after graduation and a lucrative offer from the law firm of one's choice."

    Yes, it does appear that this manure spreader has never worked very hard.

    • prommie

      jesus h fucking christ, I graduated from law school before the president. i am such a failure.

      • HistoriCat

        Today we are all failures Prommie.

        • prommie

          To start with, the Times never did a feature profile of me when I was in law school!

      • Limeylizzie

        No, you helped me hook up my Blu-Ray player and it gives me great joy, that, dearest Prommie is success.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Thanks for that, I'm saving this as a stock reply to all the Facebook retweets I'm sure I'm going to see.

    • GOPCrusher

      Maybe after his gig as President, President Hillary Clinton could appoint him to the Supreme Court? President Obama will still be a young guy with a lot of time on his hands.

      • horsedreamer_1

        We call this move Taft Punk.

        • Advn2rgirl

          That was awesome.

        • ShaveTheWhales

          I bow to your ingenuity.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Pshaw! Guy I know said the other day that his cat would be a better Pres. than Barry.
    Oh, now THAT'S how to bring teh funneez.

    • LesBontemps

      Is it a jazz cat?

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        A hep cat?

        • Generation[redacted]

          a lol cat?

          • GOPCrusher

            A cat o' nine tails?

          • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants
          • LesBontemps

            Thanks alot, now I'm catatonic.

    • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      A Catolic bishop?

    • 102415

      He needs to go to Cat Bidet Magazine dot something. I forget .

  • Callyson

    What, just the one manure spreader? How about a discount rate for those who want to buy in bulk? Say, $10 for the Republicans in Congress–or maybe $15 if you throw in the GOP presidential candidates?

    • Baconzgood

      You're overpaying.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      What the fuck would you do with them?

      • Callyson

        A one way ticket to…aw, crap, I can't think of a location that deserves to be cursed with their presence…
        OK, fine, time to make Soylent Green out of their sorry asses…but who on earth would we feed that crap to?
        Dammit, there must be an answer somewhere…

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Must be a Democratic hoax: minimal typos.

    • Exhausted66

      It's "Democrat" hoax, silly.

  • Schmannnity

    Next week's high-larious bargain: Watermelon picker.

    • BigRadio

      hardee har har. Don't ferget the Money Redistributor Machine too.
      yep, that's a real knee slapper.

  • MrFizzy

    Exactly the sort of person who didn't finish high school, collects medicare and social security, and has nothing better to do than sit around all day criticizing someone who does something useful. Pricks like this ought to read Obama's autobiography if they want to hear about someone working hard and getting somewhere. Of course that would involve the mental strain of reading, so it's unlikely.

    • finallyhappy

      I've read that book and it has many words that have more than 4 letters and many pages – plus it doesn't have lots of pictures. So they will just go with the FOXpeople who tell them he didn't work hard and being a college and law student, editor of the law review, community organizer and law professor is all nothing.

  • Chichikovovich

    You'd think the Craigslist poster would be afraid to make such a public declaration, what with the Obama hit squad making the rounds.

    (First they came for the drug binging shrieking conservative bloggers, and I said nothing. Then they came for the yokels posting efforts at humor that would be rejected with extreme prejudice from Hee Haw, and I said nothing…. )

    • Steverino247

      First, they came for the drug binging shrieking conservative bloggers and I said, "Well, it's about fucking time." Then they came for the yokels posting efforts at humor that would be rejected with extreme prejudice from Hee Haw and I said, "Honey, they finally caught that asshole responsible for those racist chain e-mails my aunt sends us."

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      LOL: Hee Haw rejection. "Why don't they call?"

  • http://wonkette.com Chillwillard

    To be fair, GOP manure is not easy to handle and it only spreads well in the South.

  • freakishlywrong

    I wonder which Bush appointed federal judge that poster is?

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      All of them, Katie.

  • SorosBot

    "Does not appear to have ever been worked very hard. "

    Wingnuts, for a joke to be funny it has to reflect reality. Guess what, being a community organizer as you like to mock is hard work. So is being a lawyer, especially for one of the back-breaking big firms. Oh but I forgot, in bigot land all black people are lazy, and so it doesn't matter how much hard work any black man has actually done, it still doesn't count.

    • chicken_thief

      Just ask Mittens. Isn't he also essentially a community organizer for the LDS?

      • Generation[redacted]

        I guess going to Paris to talk about your religion is a lot harder than it sounds.

        • chicken_thief

          No, no, no. After the crashing cars and having to subsist on dreadful Parisian food period. I saw an article recently, but only briefly scanned it, that compared Mormon elders or whatever they are called to community organizers.

      • MadBrahms

        I'm pretty sure "community organizing" is a lot easier when you can bulk up your membership rolls by baptizing dead people.

  • FraAnima

    Hyuck hyuck whoo weeee! That there is some funny shit! Good gawdamn! I haven't laughed this hard since Leroy fell face first into the pig stye!

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    If this schmuck has enough trouble with operating instructions of farm equipment — imagine the difficulty he undergoes in the effort to "pamper" his "pedigreed" purchases when he gets them home from the state fair or wherever?

  • Baconzgood

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA. No I wasn't thinking about what this guy said I was thinking of this.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmXacL0Uny0

    • BigRadio

      It's meta-humor, people.

  • SorosBot

    OT but Big Government has released the huge scoop the sleaze merchant was working on before his welcome though sadly pain free death that was supposed to destroy the Obama administration, and it's that – Obama once attended a play. About Saul Alinsky, their new favored long-dead bogeyman. And that's it. And the world yawns:
    http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2012/03/04/i-am-beco

    • MadBrahms

      Breitbart always was a fan of drama.

      • horsedreamer_1

        TNT LIBEL!!!!

    • GOPCrusher

      That Andrew Breitbart must of been a real prick.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      So when his wacko conspiratards were braying on about him "Working on something BIG", murder, blecchh, etc., it was just the usual trumped-up nothingness. Like ACORN, like whatsername's career-ending not-racist racism, and now a play. What an asshole.

    • fuflans

      i remember that company and that show. their artistic director was murdered a couple years back. (don't tell that to the wingtards).

      so, bamz lived in chicago and went to the theatre of an evening and that's news? on any given night there are like 150 shows here usually with 10 people in the audience. if you're lucky.

      i would still be recovering if barry had ever been in any of my audiences.

  • Generation[redacted]

    I'm guessing Alito.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Dago come, & me want to impeach .

  • Biff

    Herp.

    • FraAnima

      Derp.

    • Barrelhse

      e.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Cracker Barrel humor is always in quiet good taste.

  • http://www.counterpunch.org 4TheTurnstiles

    What happened to the manure dispenser that led us into a three trillion dollar war on false pretenses? I don't remember Mr CraigsList objecting to that one.

  • CapnFatback

    SHOW US THE LONG-FORM SALES RECEIPT!

  • http://www.proofnpudding.com muthalovin

    Green shoots!

  • Nostrildamus

    Heh, heh. That Bob Hope is a hoot.

    By cracky.

    • Barrelhse

      OK, "Blonde have black hair, by cracky."

  • LesBontemps

    TL;DR

    (Same response if it were less than 5 words.)

  • BigRadio

    Next up: The Mark Russell Comedy Hour.

    • L188188

      With a special performance by the Capitol Steps I hope! They sure do give the business to all those Washington popinjays.

  • JPBadinage

    Why is Wonkette still trawling craigslist for story ideas? Breitbart hasn't posted in m4m for days

  • flamingpdog

    Dude needs a good manure-kicking.

  • 738838

    It is ok to contact this poster with any kind of crap or other commercial interests.

  • proudgrampa

    Nyuk. Nyuk.

  • Redhead

    What? When did the GOP discover that Craigslist has more than posters seeking anonymous sex?

  • 40 or 50 % McShineys

    L = Letarded?

  • Barrelhse

    I imagine that this drivel passes for clever, witty, and thought-provoking in some circles.

    • tessiee

      When the standard you have to beat is "blah people are monkeys", it's not that hard to be clever and witty, at least by comparison.

    • Naked_Bunny

      Not in GOP circles, though. Too subtle.

  • tessiee

    "You guys ever dress up farm animals in women's clothing? Kuh-hyuk!"

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      "Ah print out a pikchah of Sarah Palin to paste on their heads! Hyuketty-doo!"

  • Tundra Grifter

    Too subtle.

    But a laff riot, nonetheless. Also (for Barb!).

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    My guess is this guy is auditioning for one of those high-paying Wonkette blogger jobs. ]

  • Limeylizzie

    I answered this ad, truly, and am now having a very spirited debate with this asshole.

    • HistoriCat

      You are a treasure Lizzie!

      • Limeylizzie

        He called me a Marxist bitch and asked if I went to Georgetown Law, he is not exactly a genius, that ad must have taken it out of him.

      • Limeylizzie

        This upon finding out I went to Oxford…That figures. Ivy League elitist hell bent on throwing away the Constitution for the hollow promises of a Marxist president and his handlers in order to bring in the great utopia on earth. Been tried before, sister. Doesn't work! Just ask millions of murdered men, women, and children. Oh, thats right… you can't. They're dead! Mostly, the left's buzz words – wealth distribution, diversity, social justice, and now reproductive rights are only code words for “Get Whitey”BTW, I have noticed how eager those of you are to throw out the racist charge for no other reason than being in disagreement with The Great Divider… who is not “black”, but is of mixed race, of which the caucasian half is conveniently forgotten.Personally, I don't give a rat's ass if the president is pea green and has a big eye in the center of his forehead as long as he/she respects the foundations of the Republic and provides their leadership within the confines of the Constitution. I never mentioned race. You did.

        • horsedreamer_1

          Ask what he meant by "Kenya" & "Indonesia".

        • ShaveTheWhales

          "Ivy League elitist hell"? Oxford would get motherfucking elitist about that
          insult.

          • Fukui-sanYesOta

            Harvard was founded in 1636. That's nearly 400 years after the first Oxford college.

            Parvenu fucks.

  • elburritodeluxe

    Good luck. DC is a buyer's market for manure spreaders.

  • Soylent Green

    If it can break up those turd blossoms, I'll take five!