flotus files

FLOTUS Less Popular Among White Ladies With Poor Self-Esteem

That's MRS. Flotus to you...Women in this country are under a tremendous amount of pressure right now, with scaly old men going out of their way and then some to make sure there is absolutely nothing left in place to prevent their personal “30 Kids and Counting” fantasies from coming true. They are still working on the part where they have to find actual women to do the sexing with them, but in good time, because apparently we are not only a nation of rampant obesity, but also widespread low self-esteem. Well, there is low self-esteem among white people – white women, to be exact, according to a Washington Post Survey which found that “67 percent of black women describe themselves as having high self-esteem, compared with 43 percent of white women.” This same survey also asked women to describe their feelings toward Michelle Obama, to which white women replied, “I do not care for her Bermuda shorts.”

The survey demonstrates that our FLOTUS has helped black women see themselves and each other in a more positive way. This is not the case for white women, however, who are by and large fairly positive that all black women are either Tyler Perry in a costume, or Precious Jones’ abusive mother.

Interviewers talked to about 800 black women about their worries, hopes and fears to determine how black women see themselves in the Age of Obama.

The study itself represents change. After all, it isn’t very often researchers attempt to define black women from a perspective other than that of single mother or poor black women.

The survey found that four in 10 black women said their overall impression of black women has improved because of Obama, while fewer than one in seven white women gave that response.

Most black women polled have a “favorable impression” of Michelle Obama. White women were more on the fence between “she is great,” “she’s okay, but I’m jealous of her arms,” and “give me Twinkies.” About 20% of white women are really hoping to have a sedated, insecure white lady in the East Wing next year. [WaPo/Chicago Sun-Times]

About the author

Blair Burke obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move and fashion decision for Wonkette's The FLOTUS Files feature, which appears here every Monday.

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  • joshleefolsom

    Exactly the opposite of me.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    where all the white women with low self-esteem at?

    applebee's?

    • Texan_Bulldog

      I was thinking more like Cracker Barrel…or anyplace with an all-you-can-eat buffet.

      • ElPinche

        Shoneys….the one on Parmer and Lamplight. Good lord, they closed it down but when I went it was like a scene from the Hills have Eyes.

        • Texan_Bulldog

          Hee hee…there used to be a Golden Corral near Rundberg/Lamar. Don't know if it's still there but there's something about the phrase 'all you can eat' that brings out the Olympic fighting spirit in these people.

          • tessiee

            "You been here for four hours! GO HOME!! It says, 'all you can eat', but not forever!!"

        • subsum

          There's always Ryan's on Metric and Parmer…

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I like my women the way I like my coffee: hot, weak and bitter.

      • GeorgiaBurning

        I see a trip to Denny's in your future

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          How did you know???

        • horsedreamer_1

          It's Lenny's!

    • valgal2342

      I can't believe no one said Walmart yet.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    The eternal question: "Where all the white womens at?"

    • ElPinche

      See Hermain Cain.

  • gullywompr

    It's so hard to find good help these days.

  • FraAnima

    Lock up yur wimmens.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Michelle Obama is to white women with low self esteem as Long Dong Silver is to white males with low self esteem.

  • ElPinche

    Michelle Duggar/Hoarder-lady-with-the-3ft human-shit-pile-in-her-toilet 2012 !!

    • finallyhappy

      I can't watch that show anymore. People were on some discussion board congratulating the lady who lined her broken toilet with target bags- I don't know- is that better than peeing in juice bottles or just shitting in adult diapers because you are too lazy to go to the broken toilet. Discuss amongst yourselves.

      • ElPinche

        Only in America !!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Self of steam. How does that work?

    • Carrabuda

      It rises up, it goes back down. You can't explain it.

  • BigRadio

    I can't wait for Callista's hair helmet to be the rage. The new Cumalot.

    • Callyson

      So *that's* what holds it in place. And here I thought that the There's Something About Mary bit was an urban myth…

  • Ducksworthy

    Low self of steam appears to be very prevalent among the Gooper electorate.

  • larryfinexx

    What about self esteem when "those people" discuss ther hair?

  • Baconzgood

    Why do all these fat ugly pigs have low self-esteem?

    • tessiee

      Get confident, Stupid!

  • SorosBot

    And 100% of non-racist straight white men replied, "she gives me a stiffy".

    • DaRooster

      Probably some of the racist ones as well… except quietly to themselves.

  • BigDumbRedDog

    If the white womenz didn't have such low self esteem than fat assholes like newt and rush would never get laid.

    • Advn2rgirl

      I'm continually amazed that Rush, and Newt, and all those sorry sons of good mothers found MORE than one woman willing to have sex with them on a regular basis. It's just nasty.

  • ttommyunger

    Don't know black/white but I know one thing: it is mostly the Bow-Wows who slap some lipstick and eye-shadow on and prance out of the crib thinking they are Snow Fucking White. Hotties always seem to be insecure about their appearance, all the time. I've never been able to figure that one out. BTW, the white women know Michelle is seeing a "high hard one" any time she wants, and from a man who prolly knows how to use it. Something most white women can only fantasize about, sadly.

    • ElPinche

      Barry's day job is shooting terrorists in the face. Barry's night job is shooting Michelle in the face, on her back, on her tummy, in first vagina etc.

      • ttommyunger

        Sweeeet job!

  • freakishlywrong

    She is history's greatest monster.

    • MadBrahms

      You know who else made black women feel good about themselves?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Pam Grier?

      • SorosBot

        Lawrence O'Donnell?

        • horsedreamer_1

          Any truth he calls her behind his Tam drum?

          • ShaveTheWhales

            Oh, you're on fire today. (Although this one was weak next to Taft Punk).

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Ebony Magazine?

      • LesBontemps

        Barry White?

      • Trannysurprise

        Eleanor Roosevelt?

      • Geminisunmars

        Amarosa?

      • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

        Whitney?

        [too soon?]

      • Doktor Zoom

        The Hitachi HV250R Magic Wand?

      • GOPCrusher

        Doc Johnson?

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        Sir Mix-A-Lot?

        • tessiee

          That fuckin' guy's phone must STILL be ringing off the hook.

      • tessiee

        Rosa Parks?

      • horsedreamer_1

        Lauryn Hill?

      • Advn2rgirl

        Oprah?

      • Negropolis

        Wendy Williams?

  • anniegetyerfun

    White women were more on the fence between “she is great,” “she’s okay, but I’m jealous of her arms,” and “give me Twinkies.”

    I don't understand why I can't have all of these feelings at once.

    • HistoriCat

      Women and their complicated feelings!

  • Harry_S_Truman

    Approximately 37% of those white women polled said they held nothing against Mrs. Obama; they just wished for her Kenyan, socialist husband to be something other than the Leader of the Free World.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    apparently we are not only a nation of rampant obesity, but also widespread low self-esteem.

    To be fair: it is often difficult to see one's self esteem when one's dropped it, klutz-like, below the line of sight that is one's bellybutton — but chances are, it is there!!

  • freakishlywrong

    After all, it isn’t very often researchers attempt to define black women from a perspective other than that of single mother or poor black women.

    That right there would give anyone a low self of steam, amirite?

  • Callyson

    This reminds me, time to grab the dumbbells (meaning weights, not the idiots and assholes among the white women who responded to this survey) and get my workout on. Pump up those arms!

  • UnholyMoses

    Shorter entirely too many white wimmins: "The uppity Negress in the WHITE House (see — it's even named "WHITE!") is making me feel bad about being an overweight racist cunt."

  • Goonemeritus

    “FLOTUS Less Popular Among White Ladies With Poor Self-Esteem”

    If this is true it is going to massively impact the dating lives of Progressive Engineers. Speaking as one was it not for women with low self esteem I wouldn’t have had anything to do on a Saturday night other than watching Star Trek.

  • MadBrahms

    What kind of fucked up poll actually asks "so how do you feel about black women now?" Of course no white person is going to say "improved", because it implies they had a negative opinion to begin with, which could never be possible here in Post-Racial America.

    "Oh, I used to think those colored women were just awful, but ever since they discovered fashion, I've had a total change of opinion."

    • Geminisunmars

      They all have "a great relationship with the Blacks."

    • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      BLAH women! We meant BLAH women!"

      (Are they buying it?)

    • tessiee

      "What kind of fucked up poll actually asks "so how do you feel about black women now?" Of course no white person is going to say "improved", because it implies they had a negative opinion to begin with, which could never be possible here in Post-Racial America."

      I'm not sure exactly how they worded that question, but it might be a fair guess that at least some of the white women surveyed have very limited interaction with black women in their day to day lives to begin with: "Black… hmm, let's see… Well, there's that lady who works at the dry cleaners; she seems nice…"

    • ShaveTheWhales

      So, when did you stop being a racist?

  • DCBloom

    So… Michelle is hot, which means black women feel better and white women don't.
    That is such a stupid premise that it sucked all the snark right outta me.

  • chicken_thief

    "About 20% of white women are really hoping to have a sedated, insecure white lady in the East Wing next year. "

    This is good news for John McCain.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Aw man, she just gets better and better. NOW I get to be proud that she's making me feel good about myself, because I feel good about her as our rep. All the white lady love I have Michelle, all. I. have. (And my pull up numbers are also increasing. She rules.)

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    easy for FLOTUS to say. she already has a hat.

  • Beowoof

    Smart and hot, most of the rednecks who don't like her are chubby and stupid. I might even feel sorry for them if they ever put down the remote and picked a book on the way to the produce aisle.

    • tessiee

      "produce aisle"?
      *snorty laugh*
      Yeah, right, like Brandine ever eats a vegetable that isn't deep-fried in lard!

  • MissTaken

    I would kill 7 small kittens for her arms, but I still think she's great. I must be one of those odd-ball white womenz with the high self of steam.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I thought about having sofa steam once, but it's expensive and time-consuming, so I just roll the lint brush across it every so often. Works great!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    The only way Republicans will ever respect anyone vaginally-enhanced is if science discovers crude oil deposits in her uterus.

  • Nostrildamus

    Twinkies?

  • ChessieNefercat

    I don't know that I have high self of steam, but I think I could say I have realistic self of steam. I will never have arms like hers, or accomplish anywhere close to what she has accomplished so far, but my boring little life is okay by me, and I like my kids, my family (some of them), my friends, and my sweet baboo.

    As a stunningly mid-west white bread person of meh, I adore my lovely, brilliant, FLOTUS.

  • DemonicRage

    Keep posting this nonsense. Maybe no one will notice that GLOBAL CONFLAGRATION is about to erupt, as soon as Israel starts bombing Iran.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus
      • MadBrahms

        McCain's losing his touch; "bomb bomb bomb, bomb Syr-i-a" just doesn't have the same right to it as the original.

    • Advn2rgirl

      I am woman, hear me roar: I can worry about Armageddon AND obsess over the upper arms of a woman I will never meet, all at the same time. Also bring home bacon, fry said bacon, and never never let you forget, etc.

  • hagajim

    No wonder so many people are having kids out of wedlock. Low self-esteem leads to high levels of sexual activity as you attempt to re-esteem yourself.

    • Negropolis

      "Re-esteem"

      W.I.N. lol

  • sharethegrief

    I used to be a depressed woman when I'd hear most any Repub speak. Lately I've surpassed depression and now I'm just dangerous.

  • orygoon

    As a white woman, I am embarrassed by these findings.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    We had a Roy's Chuckwagon AYCE in our town. I had a friend who worked there. He gained about 40 lbs in two years of free meals. This was when we were teenagers; before the US obesity epidemic.

    • ElPinche

      you mean before US obesity became the National Pastime.

  • BigRadio

    These black women with their high self-esteem, maybe they're just uppity.

  • upthruster

    Now it all makes sense! When Jackie Kennedy was first lady, white women felt good about being domestic homemakers waiting for their cheating spouses to come home from the office. When Nancy Reagan was first lady, white women felt good about being superstitious, racist and falling down in front of people. When Laura Bush was first lady, white women felt good about being robotic Stepford Wives. Just imagine…If Michele Bachmann were president, then white women would feel better about making nonsensical statements, being subserviant, uptight, and happy with their closeted spouses. Makes total sense that a hot black woman in the white house would make such women feel inferior.

  • tessiee

    "their feelings toward Michelle Obama, to which white women replied, “I do not care for her Bermuda shorts.”"

    Wait till they find out about Bermuda SCHWARTZ. He's the accountant who figures out how the Obamas can charge all the tropical vacations they take to the taxpayers!!!

  • tessiee

    "This same survey also asked women to describe their feelings toward Michelle Obama, to which white women replied, “I do not care for her Bermuda shorts.”"

    Oh, yeah?
    Well, I'm not crazy about the fashion choices of anyone who shops at any store ending in the word "Mart".
    Learn to cope.

  • x111e7thst

    Where da white wimmin at?

  • tessiee

    In related news, Paul Piff undertakes new study to determine whether negative perceptions of the Obamas have any connection to racism.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Excellent memory, there.

  • LesBontemps

    I should have taken Bermuda Schwartz as my handle. Now I am full of regret.

  • tessiee

    "apparently we are not only a nation of rampant obesity, but also widespread low self-esteem"

    Nothing against Michelle Obama, but in a culture wallpapered with Size Zero models, I don't know what the hell else anyone expects.

    • Advn2rgirl

      I think, when there's no way in hell you're ever going to look like Kate Moss, you stop obsessing about looking like Kate Moss. If, however, there is some possible way you could be a credible blonde, a whole world of guilt and obsession opens up for you.

      • tessiee

        See, white women be lookin' at Kate Moss like this:
        *nerdy and fretful*
        "She's so skinny! Why can't I be skinny like that!? I'm so fat!"
        But black women, they be lookin at Kate Moss like *this*:
        *cool and sassy*
        "Sheeeeeyyyyiiiit! Fuck that white bitch!"

  • tessiee

    The same effect can be achieved much more humanely by holding a 5 to 7 pound cat in each hand and doing cat lifts daily.*

    *fast disclaimer voice-over*
    *not responsible for any pooped-in shoes as a result of this.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      *** Also, not responsible for shredded forearms.

  • HarryButtle

    “I do not care for her Bermuda shorts.”

    I concur…70's-style roller disco hot pants or GTFO.

  • fuflans

    i've said it before and i'll say it again,

    just stop surveying those fucking people.

  • http://www.marionstein.net MarionNYNY

    I find these numbers very confusing. I'm white woman with low self-esteem who secretly fantasizes about being a strong black woman and I worship Michelle Obama. My husband by the way also secretly fantasizes about being a strong black woman and also worships M.O. But I've probably given you too much information.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      No, no, carry on.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Today we are all Offspring.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      It was thinking about Insidious that got you started, wasn't it?

  • ShaveTheWhales

    Most of you that have ever been peripherally connected to "business management" have heard of the Pareto Principle, which might be loosely phrased as "20% of the shit that happens is responsible for 80% of the aggregated effect of the shit".

    Now, bearing in mind that Pareto intended the percentages to be examples, rather than literally precise, and bearing in mind such percentages as never-repentant Bushies, Republicans, and, now, white wimminz of low self of steam, I am inclined to offer a corollary: "20% US society is fucking hopeless".

  • Negropolis

    This is not the case for white women, however, who are by and large fairly positive that all black women are either Tyler Perry in a costume, or Precious Jones’ abusive mother.

    I'm rolling, here.

    BTW, just for the record, black women have always had high self-esteem, comparitively, or at least put up that front. They've had to just deal with living in this nation. Don't you dare tell a black woman she doesn't look good, especially after she just got her hair and nails did.