FLOTUS FILES  1:02 pm March 5, 2012

FLOTUS Less Popular Among White Ladies With Poor Self-Esteem

by Blair Burke

That's MRS. Flotus to you...Women in this country are under a tremendous amount of pressure right now, with scaly old men going out of their way and then some to make sure there is absolutely nothing left in place to prevent their personal “30 Kids and Counting” fantasies from coming true. They are still working on the part where they have to find actual women to do the sexing with them, but in good time, because apparently we are not only a nation of rampant obesity, but also widespread low self-esteem. Well, there is low self-esteem among white people – white women, to be exact, according to a Washington Post Survey which found that “67 percent of black women describe themselves as having high self-esteem, compared with 43 percent of white women.” This same survey also asked women to describe their feelings toward Michelle Obama, to which white women replied, “I do not care for her Bermuda shorts.”

The survey demonstrates that our FLOTUS has helped black women see themselves and each other in a more positive way. This is not the case for white women, however, who are by and large fairly positive that all black women are either Tyler Perry in a costume, or Precious Jones’ abusive mother.

Interviewers talked to about 800 black women about their worries, hopes and fears to determine how black women see themselves in the Age of Obama.

The study itself represents change. After all, it isn’t very often researchers attempt to define black women from a perspective other than that of single mother or poor black women.

The survey found that four in 10 black women said their overall impression of black women has improved because of Obama, while fewer than one in seven white women gave that response.

Most black women polled have a “favorable impression” of Michelle Obama. White women were more on the fence between “she is great,” “she’s okay, but I’m jealous of her arms,” and “give me Twinkies.” About 20% of white women are really hoping to have a sedated, insecure white lady in the East Wing next year. [WaPo/Chicago Sun-Times]

 
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{ 109 comments }

joshleefolsom March 5, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Exactly the opposite of me.

Gratuitous World March 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm

where all the white women with low self-esteem at?

applebee's?

Texan_Bulldog March 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I was thinking more like Cracker Barrel…or anyplace with an all-you-can-eat buffet.

ElPinche March 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Shoneys….the one on Parmer and Lamplight. Good lord, they closed it down but when I went it was like a scene from the Hills have Eyes.

Texan_Bulldog March 5, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Hee hee…there used to be a Golden Corral near Rundberg/Lamar. Don't know if it's still there but there's something about the phrase 'all you can eat' that brings out the Olympic fighting spirit in these people.

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 2:54 pm

"You been here for four hours! GO HOME!! It says, 'all you can eat', but not forever!!"

subsum March 5, 2012 at 2:39 pm

There's always Ryan's on Metric and Parmer…

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I like my women the way I like my coffee: hot, weak and bitter.

GeorgiaBurning March 5, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I see a trip to Denny's in your future

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 2:14 pm

How did you know???

horsedreamer_1 March 5, 2012 at 7:08 pm

It's Lenny's!

valgal2342 March 5, 2012 at 3:22 pm

I can't believe no one said Walmart yet.

donner_froh March 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

The eternal question: "Where all the white womens at?"

ElPinche March 5, 2012 at 1:11 pm

See Hermain Cain.

gullywompr March 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

It's so hard to find good help these days.

FraAnima March 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Lock up yur wimmens.

ManchuCandidate March 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Michelle Obama is to white women with low self esteem as Long Dong Silver is to white males with low self esteem.

ElPinche March 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Michelle Duggar/Hoarder-lady-with-the-3ft human-shit-pile-in-her-toilet 2012 !!

finallyhappy March 5, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I can't watch that show anymore. People were on some discussion board congratulating the lady who lined her broken toilet with target bags- I don't know- is that better than peeing in juice bottles or just shitting in adult diapers because you are too lazy to go to the broken toilet. Discuss amongst yourselves.

ElPinche March 5, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Only in America !!

BaldarTFlagass March 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Self of steam. How does that work?

Carrabuda March 5, 2012 at 1:17 pm

It rises up, it goes back down. You can't explain it.

BigRadio March 5, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I can't wait for Callista's hair helmet to be the rage. The new Cumalot.

Callyson March 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm

So *that's* what holds it in place. And here I thought that the There's Something About Mary bit was an urban myth…

Ducksworthy March 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Low self of steam appears to be very prevalent among the Gooper electorate.

larryfinexx March 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

What about self esteem when "those people" discuss ther hair?

Baconzgood March 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Why do all these fat ugly pigs have low self-esteem?

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Get confident, Stupid!

SorosBot March 5, 2012 at 1:15 pm

And 100% of non-racist straight white men replied, "she gives me a stiffy".

DaRooster March 5, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Probably some of the racist ones as well… except quietly to themselves.

BigDumbRedDog March 5, 2012 at 1:17 pm

If the white womenz didn't have such low self esteem than fat assholes like newt and rush would never get laid.

Advn2rgirl March 5, 2012 at 7:46 pm

I'm continually amazed that Rush, and Newt, and all those sorry sons of good mothers found MORE than one woman willing to have sex with them on a regular basis. It's just nasty.

ttommyunger March 5, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Don't know black/white but I know one thing: it is mostly the Bow-Wows who slap some lipstick and eye-shadow on and prance out of the crib thinking they are Snow Fucking White. Hotties always seem to be insecure about their appearance, all the time. I've never been able to figure that one out. BTW, the white women know Michelle is seeing a "high hard one" any time she wants, and from a man who prolly knows how to use it. Something most white women can only fantasize about, sadly.

ElPinche March 5, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Barry's day job is shooting terrorists in the face. Barry's night job is shooting Michelle in the face, on her back, on her tummy, in first vagina etc.

ttommyunger March 5, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Sweeeet job!

freakishlywrong March 5, 2012 at 1:18 pm

She is history's greatest monster.

MadBrahms March 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

You know who else made black women feel good about themselves?

BaldarTFlagass March 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Pam Grier?

SorosBot March 5, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Lawrence O'Donnell?

horsedreamer_1 March 5, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Any truth he calls her behind his Tam drum?

ShaveTheWhales March 5, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Oh, you're on fire today. (Although this one was weak next to Taft Punk).

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Ebony Magazine?

LesBontemps March 5, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Barry White?

Trannysurprise March 5, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Eleanor Roosevelt?

Geminisunmars March 5, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Amarosa?

FlownOver March 5, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Whitney?

[too soon?]

Doktor Zoom March 5, 2012 at 2:31 pm

The Hitachi HV250R Magic Wand?

GOPCrusher March 5, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Doc Johnson?

imissopus March 5, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Sir Mix-A-Lot?

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 2:59 pm

That fuckin' guy's phone must STILL be ringing off the hook.

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Rosa Parks?

horsedreamer_1 March 5, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Lauryn Hill?

Advn2rgirl March 5, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Oprah?

Negropolis March 6, 2012 at 2:36 am

Wendy Williams?

anniegetyerfun March 5, 2012 at 1:18 pm

White women were more on the fence between “she is great,” “she’s okay, but I’m jealous of her arms,” and “give me Twinkies.”

I don't understand why I can't have all of these feelings at once.

HistoriCat March 5, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Women and their complicated feelings!

Harry_S_Truman March 5, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Approximately 37% of those white women polled said they held nothing against Mrs. Obama; they just wished for her Kenyan, socialist husband to be something other than the Leader of the Free World.

Mumbletypeg March 5, 2012 at 1:19 pm

apparently we are not only a nation of rampant obesity, but also widespread low self-esteem.

To be fair: it is often difficult to see one's self esteem when one's dropped it, klutz-like, below the line of sight that is one's bellybutton — but chances are, it is there!!

freakishlywrong March 5, 2012 at 1:19 pm

After all, it isn’t very often researchers attempt to define black women from a perspective other than that of single mother or poor black women.

That right there would give anyone a low self of steam, amirite?

Callyson March 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm

This reminds me, time to grab the dumbbells (meaning weights, not the idiots and assholes among the white women who responded to this survey) and get my workout on. Pump up those arms!

UnholyMoses March 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Shorter entirely too many white wimmins: "The uppity Negress in the WHITE House (see — it's even named "WHITE!") is making me feel bad about being an overweight racist cunt."

Goonemeritus March 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm

“FLOTUS Less Popular Among White Ladies With Poor Self-Esteem”

If this is true it is going to massively impact the dating lives of Progressive Engineers. Speaking as one was it not for women with low self esteem I wouldn’t have had anything to do on a Saturday night other than watching Star Trek.

MadBrahms March 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm

What kind of fucked up poll actually asks "so how do you feel about black women now?" Of course no white person is going to say "improved", because it implies they had a negative opinion to begin with, which could never be possible here in Post-Racial America.

"Oh, I used to think those colored women were just awful, but ever since they discovered fashion, I've had a total change of opinion."

Geminisunmars March 5, 2012 at 2:12 pm

They all have "a great relationship with the Blacks."

FlownOver March 5, 2012 at 2:31 pm

BLAH women! We meant BLAH women!"

(Are they buying it?)

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 3:07 pm

"What kind of fucked up poll actually asks "so how do you feel about black women now?" Of course no white person is going to say "improved", because it implies they had a negative opinion to begin with, which could never be possible here in Post-Racial America."

I'm not sure exactly how they worded that question, but it might be a fair guess that at least some of the white women surveyed have very limited interaction with black women in their day to day lives to begin with: "Black… hmm, let's see… Well, there's that lady who works at the dry cleaners; she seems nice…"

ShaveTheWhales March 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm

So, when did you stop being a racist?

DCBloom March 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

So… Michelle is hot, which means black women feel better and white women don't.
That is such a stupid premise that it sucked all the snark right outta me.

chicken_thief March 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

"About 20% of white women are really hoping to have a sedated, insecure white lady in the East Wing next year. "

This is good news for John McCain.

FakaktaSouth March 5, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Aw man, she just gets better and better. NOW I get to be proud that she's making me feel good about myself, because I feel good about her as our rep. All the white lady love I have Michelle, all. I. have. (And my pull up numbers are also increasing. She rules.)

Gratuitous World March 5, 2012 at 1:28 pm

easy for FLOTUS to say. she already has a hat.

Beowoof March 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Smart and hot, most of the rednecks who don't like her are chubby and stupid. I might even feel sorry for them if they ever put down the remote and picked a book on the way to the produce aisle.

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 3:04 pm

"produce aisle"?
*snorty laugh*
Yeah, right, like Brandine ever eats a vegetable that isn't deep-fried in lard!

MissTaken March 5, 2012 at 1:30 pm

I would kill 7 small kittens for her arms, but I still think she's great. I must be one of those odd-ball white womenz with the high self of steam.

SayItWithWookies March 5, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I thought about having sofa steam once, but it's expensive and time-consuming, so I just roll the lint brush across it every so often. Works great!

actor212 March 5, 2012 at 1:39 pm

The only way Republicans will ever respect anyone vaginally-enhanced is if science discovers crude oil deposits in her uterus.

Nostrildamus March 5, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Twinkies?

ChessieNefercat March 5, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I don't know that I have high self of steam, but I think I could say I have realistic self of steam. I will never have arms like hers, or accomplish anywhere close to what she has accomplished so far, but my boring little life is okay by me, and I like my kids, my family (some of them), my friends, and my sweet baboo.

As a stunningly mid-west white bread person of meh, I adore my lovely, brilliant, FLOTUS.

DemonicRage March 5, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Keep posting this nonsense. Maybe no one will notice that GLOBAL CONFLAGRATION is about to erupt, as soon as Israel starts bombing Iran.

imissopus March 5, 2012 at 3:01 pm
MadBrahms March 5, 2012 at 3:55 pm

McCain's losing his touch; "bomb bomb bomb, bomb Syr-i-a" just doesn't have the same right to it as the original.

Advn2rgirl March 5, 2012 at 7:53 pm

I am woman, hear me roar: I can worry about Armageddon AND obsess over the upper arms of a woman I will never meet, all at the same time. Also bring home bacon, fry said bacon, and never never let you forget, etc.

hagajim March 5, 2012 at 1:56 pm

No wonder so many people are having kids out of wedlock. Low self-esteem leads to high levels of sexual activity as you attempt to re-esteem yourself.

Negropolis March 6, 2012 at 2:40 am

"Re-esteem"

W.I.N. lol

sharethegrief March 5, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I used to be a depressed woman when I'd hear most any Repub speak. Lately I've surpassed depression and now I'm just dangerous.

orygoon March 5, 2012 at 2:27 pm

As a white woman, I am embarrassed by these findings.

Lascauxcaveman March 5, 2012 at 2:29 pm

We had a Roy's Chuckwagon AYCE in our town. I had a friend who worked there. He gained about 40 lbs in two years of free meals. This was when we were teenagers; before the US obesity epidemic.

ElPinche March 5, 2012 at 3:53 pm

you mean before US obesity became the National Pastime.

BigRadio March 5, 2012 at 2:33 pm

These black women with their high self-esteem, maybe they're just uppity.

upthruster March 5, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Now it all makes sense! When Jackie Kennedy was first lady, white women felt good about being domestic homemakers waiting for their cheating spouses to come home from the office. When Nancy Reagan was first lady, white women felt good about being superstitious, racist and falling down in front of people. When Laura Bush was first lady, white women felt good about being robotic Stepford Wives. Just imagine…If Michele Bachmann were president, then white women would feel better about making nonsensical statements, being subserviant, uptight, and happy with their closeted spouses. Makes total sense that a hot black woman in the white house would make such women feel inferior.

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 2:48 pm

"their feelings toward Michelle Obama, to which white women replied, “I do not care for her Bermuda shorts.”"

Wait till they find out about Bermuda SCHWARTZ. He's the accountant who figures out how the Obamas can charge all the tropical vacations they take to the taxpayers!!!

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 2:50 pm

"This same survey also asked women to describe their feelings toward Michelle Obama, to which white women replied, “I do not care for her Bermuda shorts.”"

Oh, yeah?
Well, I'm not crazy about the fashion choices of anyone who shops at any store ending in the word "Mart".
Learn to cope.

x111e7thst March 5, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Where da white wimmin at?

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 2:52 pm

In related news, Paul Piff undertakes new study to determine whether negative perceptions of the Obamas have any connection to racism.

ShaveTheWhales March 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Excellent memory, there.

LesBontemps March 5, 2012 at 2:54 pm

I should have taken Bermuda Schwartz as my handle. Now I am full of regret.

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 3:01 pm

"apparently we are not only a nation of rampant obesity, but also widespread low self-esteem"

Nothing against Michelle Obama, but in a culture wallpapered with Size Zero models, I don't know what the hell else anyone expects.

Advn2rgirl March 5, 2012 at 7:57 pm

I think, when there's no way in hell you're ever going to look like Kate Moss, you stop obsessing about looking like Kate Moss. If, however, there is some possible way you could be a credible blonde, a whole world of guilt and obsession opens up for you.

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 8:33 pm

See, white women be lookin' at Kate Moss like this:
*nerdy and fretful*
"She's so skinny! Why can't I be skinny like that!? I'm so fat!"
But black women, they be lookin at Kate Moss like *this*:
*cool and sassy*
"Sheeeeeyyyyiiiit! Fuck that white bitch!"

tessiee March 5, 2012 at 3:08 pm

The same effect can be achieved much more humanely by holding a 5 to 7 pound cat in each hand and doing cat lifts daily.*

*fast disclaimer voice-over*
*not responsible for any pooped-in shoes as a result of this.

ShaveTheWhales March 5, 2012 at 10:27 pm

*** Also, not responsible for shredded forearms.

HarryButtle March 5, 2012 at 4:07 pm

“I do not care for her Bermuda shorts.”

I concur…70's-style roller disco hot pants or GTFO.

fuflans March 5, 2012 at 4:59 pm

i've said it before and i'll say it again,

just stop surveying those fucking people.

MarionNYNY March 5, 2012 at 5:47 pm

I find these numbers very confusing. I'm white woman with low self-esteem who secretly fantasizes about being a strong black woman and I worship Michelle Obama. My husband by the way also secretly fantasizes about being a strong black woman and also worships M.O. But I've probably given you too much information.

ShaveTheWhales March 5, 2012 at 10:31 pm

No, no, carry on.

horsedreamer_1 March 5, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Today we are all Offspring.

ShaveTheWhales March 5, 2012 at 10:32 pm

It was thinking about Insidious that got you started, wasn't it?

ShaveTheWhales March 5, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Most of you that have ever been peripherally connected to "business management" have heard of the Pareto Principle, which might be loosely phrased as "20% of the shit that happens is responsible for 80% of the aggregated effect of the shit".

Now, bearing in mind that Pareto intended the percentages to be examples, rather than literally precise, and bearing in mind such percentages as never-repentant Bushies, Republicans, and, now, white wimminz of low self of steam, I am inclined to offer a corollary: "20% US society is fucking hopeless".

Negropolis March 6, 2012 at 2:32 am

This is not the case for white women, however, who are by and large fairly positive that all black women are either Tyler Perry in a costume, or Precious Jones’ abusive mother.

I'm rolling, here.

BTW, just for the record, black women have always had high self-esteem, comparitively, or at least put up that front. They've had to just deal with living in this nation. Don't you dare tell a black woman she doesn't look good, especially after she just got her hair and nails did.

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