LUNTZ IT UP  2:11 pm March 4, 2012

Hero Journalist Attempts To Explain ‘Womyn’ To Disingenuous Douche

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

It’s a fine line between clever and stupid, and the poor dears of the GOP establishment are all in a tizzy trying to find it. Having somehow decided that their previous forays into women’s uteruses lacked a proper goose-stepping panache, and having also settled on calling 150 million Americans diseased whoring strumpets as their big political winner, they are now in the slightly unenviable position of reframing, and reframing, and really for serious trying super fucking hard to reframe this bitch.

And that’s why, when David Gregory tries more than one time to explain to House Majority Leader Eric Cantor how almost all People see the birth control mishigas as about womyn’s health, and laugh at the GOP’s sad attempts to Luntz this sucker up as “religious freedom,” Cantor simply keeps repeating his pathetic talking point, with a weird scared smile on his face. Then he throws in some Jewish, to remind us that he knows from persecution.

Nobody in the world (except for your Editrix’s beloved idiot brother-in-law, and also probly every citizen of that weird small town You left behind when you caught teh Ghey) actually believes Eric Cantor is so totally up in religious freedom, particularly since his last thoughts on the matter, which included the super-American notion that maybe Muslims should have the common decency to not worship where others might see them.

In any case, Eric Cantor knows a loser when he sees one, in the mirror.

[MSNBC]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 431 comments }

Come here a minute March 4, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Cantor is all, "Hey Fluffy, us Jews gotta stick together!"

And Greggers is all, "Making a Catholic hospital's insurance buy drugs is not exactly pissing on the Torah."

valgal2342 March 4, 2012 at 11:27 pm

If only Gregory said something like that, I thought he was pretty lame with his few words.
Because if it were me up there instead of Gregory, well then, I would have used more words and would have been more entertaining smacking that nerd boy Canter down. Of course I would use lots of clever retorts stolen from Wonkette comments.

MadBrahms March 5, 2012 at 8:30 am

More than I would do, which would simply be repeating "NO! NO! NO!" over and over again while hitting him about the head with a rolled-up newspaper.

sewollef March 5, 2012 at 9:08 am

That's cruelty to a handicapped person… although it does have an element of fun attached to it.

miss_grundy March 5, 2012 at 1:38 pm

But Gregory is a Republican, so he isn't going to be mean to one of his own. That is why we need a newsperson who is a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat to verbally beat these jokers to death and in the process show how stupid they are.

How would they feel if we took to calling every Republican woman a strumpet? If we told them that their wives, daughters, sisters, aunts, cousins and any other female relative of child-bearing years was regarded as a slut ?Do you think they would take umbrage? Can their brains make the logical jump since they want to start name-calling?

Can't we just suspend assault laws for one day so that we can take out our anger management issues against these people? There are some torture methods instituted during the Spanish Inquisition that I would love to try out on Repugnants.

Barb March 4, 2012 at 2:55 pm

They've got a new birth control pill for men now. I think that's fair. It makes a lot more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest.
Suck it, Eric!

ManchuCandidate March 4, 2012 at 3:25 pm

It's called propecia… I mean it's for hair, but has some bad side effects if you're a guy.

Um, let's just say noodle droop or "pushing rope."

JustPixelz March 4, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Wait! — that's not normal? I have been sadly misinformed.

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Sounds like someone's been listening to Kenny G-spot.

Beetagger March 4, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Like trying to stuff a marshmallow into a parking meter.

Swampgas_Man March 4, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Like serving a guest w/ a rubber fork.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Like trying to open a lock with a Jello key.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 4:50 pm

In the commercials they make it sound like if ladies "handle the pills" it's as bad as chugging nuclear waste. Think I'd rather go bald.

Sparky McGruff March 4, 2012 at 7:42 pm

That message really applies to pregnant women. If a fetus gets a dose of Propecia at the right time, they'll be born with… uh… "unique" genitalia.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 7:49 pm

I upfisted your pee-palm for the good info, even though I don't like the sound of it.

UW8316154 March 4, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Women of childbearing age are not even supposed to touch it with bare hands.

UW8316154 March 4, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Are you sure it isn't called Zoloft?

Designer_Rants March 5, 2012 at 1:08 am

Or "Prozac"?

Come here a minute March 4, 2012 at 3:26 pm

This will work great when it's the man who gets pregnant after one night's passion.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Slut.

starfanglednut March 4, 2012 at 6:01 pm

We want video11!

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 6:14 pm

We are OWED video!!!!1!1 cuz taxes!

BlueStateLibel March 4, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Hmmm, just bring back old-fashioned gelding, it'd calm these idiots down in a minute, works like a charm.

Doktor Zoom March 4, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Clearly, we need to adopt Ethical Birth Control.

Welcome to the Monkey House!

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 7:25 pm

"…which makes people numb from the waist down and takes every pleasure out of sex."

I thought that's what all the televisual and audio of Sarah Palin was about.

natoslug March 4, 2012 at 6:45 pm

First off, it's Sunday. Fucking motherfucking Sunday! Why are we having a post on Sunday? Some of us have to run through the woods building fences and maintaining their fucking sheep and feeding ticks and pouring concrete and pulling out the 4" sliver of p.t. lumber they accidentally shoved in their palm/wrist and have a hard enough fucking time keeping up with posts on Saturday, let alone bloody fucking Sunday.

Second, if you are in the habit of the occasional casual sex, how many women are going to trust the guy who says "Trust me baby, I'm on the pill!" I know it's hard to believe, but if you're a straight guy, the truth is rather flexible if you want to get laid. A week without sex and we'll be willing to claim the pez we dug out of our pocket after a month counts as being on the pill. The majority of us are defined in large part by our penises.

Loaded_Pants March 4, 2012 at 7:46 pm

"The majority of us are defined in large part by our penises."

Braggart.

natoslug March 4, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Hey, I've got the same 7-9 inches the average guy has.

imissopus March 4, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Me too, and you would think that would be a good thing, but I've found that a lot of women don't like it that big around.

738838 March 4, 2012 at 8:44 pm

In the Cranial Congress the penis has the swing vote.

Biff March 4, 2012 at 9:41 pm

You might as well go ahead and saw off your hand now, and save yourself from the agony of the nasty infection coursing through your body. I assume, of course, your lumber is arsenic treated?

natoslug March 4, 2012 at 9:46 pm

It's California — our P.T. is green, er, brown. Whatever it is is supposed to be somewhat safer. I'll wait for the hand to fall of on its own.

Dashboard_Jesus March 5, 2012 at 1:00 am

damn you are one busy dude, and a sheep 'farmer' too evidently…who knew? btw what exactly do you feed the ticks?

natoslug March 5, 2012 at 12:37 pm

I nurse them at my sweet bosom. Or back. Or head. Wherever they manage to latch on before I find them. I'm hoping that I'll never notice the Lyme disease, what with all the stiff joints and being worn out and down by spoiled and lazy children already. I grew up in this area, romping through the redwoods and rolling in the mud and having a great time being young and unburdened by a sense of mortality and never got a tick. Now that I'm old enough that every fever is the onset of hauntavirus or plague, I seem to have morped into a tick-magnet. I'd much rather be a chick-magnet. Although being constantly pecked by chickens could get irritating after a while.

the_problem_child March 4, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Sorry, was distracted by his hairplug.

imissopus March 4, 2012 at 3:02 pm

It takes a supreme level of douchiness, in a room with only two people, to make David Gregory look like the smart one by a factor of about ten billion. Good on ya, Eric. Makes me proud of my roots as a Jew from Virginia.

ManchuCandidate March 4, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Wait, whut….



There are Je… I mean David Gregory is smart?

Chet Kincaid March 4, 2012 at 3:10 pm

How do we know you're not Eric Cantor, the second Deep Cover Sleeper Agent of the Liberal Satanist Muslim conspiracy to activate after Rush Limbaugh?!

imissopus March 5, 2012 at 2:42 am

Third. The second was the bartender in Brentwood who spiked Breitbart's red wine with a secret CIA-developed poison that would give him a heart attack and not show up under normal toxicology tests and autopsy protocols. Hang on, someone is knocking loudly on my front door…

DCBloom March 4, 2012 at 7:07 pm

As a southern Jew myself, I spent the whole interview pointing at the TV screaming "Token" & "Traitor'. Felt a little better

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 8:54 pm

It takes a supreme level of douchiness, in a room with only two people, to make David Gregory look like the smart one by a factor of about ten billion.

This is true. BTW, I see everyone praising David the Gregory, but all I really saw was Gregory do what he does and that's to try and make any opinion, no matter how wrong, sound like a good idea. It's like he's pleading with Cantor the entire time to say something half-way compromising so as not to embarrass him. His job as a journalist is to simply pull out what Cantor thinks, call bullshit lies when he can, and then let the other person's opinion stand on its own.

ShaveTheWhales March 4, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Unfortunately, it appears that his job is to be David Gregory. At least, I assume that is his entire job description, because his employers reportedly pay him quite a few Ameros, and that is all he ever does.

Chet Kincaid March 5, 2012 at 10:44 am

Who was praising David Gregory? He sure didn't do what you just said was his job.

Dashboard_Jesus March 5, 2012 at 1:03 am

hey, you're Jewish too, who knew?

KeepFnThatChicken March 4, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Why is it that insurance "companies" (i.e., the type that like to make monies) would want to deny contraception anyway? I mean, a diaphragm has to be cheaper than a Caesarian.

I mean, in the tradition of "business is business," right?

Swampgas_Man March 4, 2012 at 4:24 pm

They DON'T. They're more than happy to provide contraception, because it saves them money. This is all down to certain bullshit institutions that want to control their wimmen-folk, even if the women working there don't belong to their religion.

BerkeleyBear March 4, 2012 at 5:44 pm

And who, let's not forget, both take Federal monneyz to run said institutions (Medicare, Medicaid, etc.) and claim tax exempt status to increase their incomes.

Veritas78 March 4, 2012 at 9:19 pm

It sure is, and that's why Obama didn't even need to check with the insurance companies when he came back with "Okay, we'll have the insurance companies provide contraception for free." Contraception is a tiny fraction of the cost of live births, especially if anything goes wrong.
This is why I am convinced he set this up. It wasn't a blunder, the whole thing was intentional. He knew the wingers would bobble it and at every step they have. He keeps handing them Rorschach tests, and they keep taking them.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 4, 2012 at 11:52 pm

He keeps handing them Rorschach tests, and they keep seeing muslins, terrists, and socialists. Who are near.

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 3:13 pm

I made it all the way through the 15-second ad for Boeing before I thought better of watching the video. Besides, I've finally decided who I'm going to buy my next bomber from and I have to get on the stick!

fuflans March 4, 2012 at 6:01 pm

this was a wise choice my friend.

cheetojeebus March 4, 2012 at 7:29 pm

If you bring them an empty coke can and mention the coupon code "Shockandawe" you can get the fine Corinthian leather cockpit seat upgrade for free!

extreme_left March 4, 2012 at 11:25 pm

i'm sticking with my Zeppelin.

Toomush_Infer March 4, 2012 at 3:13 pm

What's cute is that Cantor is swinging that incense canister up and down in total innocent cupidity, like the acolyte who just a moment ago was putting a dirty Sanchez on his co-acolyte behind the apse….how did this little castrati ever get to be Jewish…?

Angry_Marmot March 4, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Quotas.

tcaalaw March 5, 2012 at 9:48 am

Brist accident?

Mumbletypeg March 4, 2012 at 3:14 pm

"That's why if Mitt Romney is President, we're not gonna have this confusion about religious freedom."

Au contraire, Eric: the martyr complex and victim-bragging-rights engines that power your very message here *depend heavily* upon religious confusion; if your cohort Mitt wants his LDS-affiliation to continue to evade closer scrutiny from evangelicals, orthodox and independents alike, I'm sure he'll agree.

mavenmaven March 4, 2012 at 3:14 pm

He's full of crap, anyway, because the government does in fact legislate what kosher is, in that products are not able to label themselves as kosher without appropriate supervision.

finallyhappy March 4, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Damn I was going to start stamping Lobsters as OU-and now the gov't is going to stop me!

memzilla March 4, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Cantor is one Circle U Pareve a**hat, that's for sure.

BerkeleyBear March 4, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Yep, that would be a false affiliation and your local kosher deli would be able to use the Lanham Act to sue the pants off any goy trying to label their pork lip tube sausages as kosher.

Serolf_Divad March 5, 2012 at 7:50 am

"Pork lip tube sausages"… damn now you've gone and made me hungry all over again!

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 3:16 pm

And "Cantor weighs in on Limbaugh"? Really? There's a heavyweight mismatch if I ever saw one. Only way Cantor wins that one is if he rope-a-dopes Limpballs until Crush passes out from exhausiton.

SexySmurf March 4, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I love election years. Women's fun zones are the new Ground Zero terror mosques.

Toomush_Infer March 4, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Feel the Power….!

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Cantor's all for women's fun zones, but come on!

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 5:29 pm

I miss the terra musk of women's fun zones.

Chet Kincaid March 4, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Dave and Bra Busters?

ShaveTheWhales March 4, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Hahaha. You must have kids.

Negropolis March 5, 2012 at 12:08 am

It's funny, though, because every commercial I've ever seen of the company is advertising them straight to suburban office workers. lol

ManchuCandidate March 4, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Let me liberate a quote from Cantor's hero, Churchill.
"Never has so much (grief) been owed to so few (morans.)"

FakaktaSouth March 4, 2012 at 3:21 pm

When David "it's your chance to be your awful awful self and I'll make you look good" Gregory can't even help your dumb ass, you KNOW you're screwed. Just stick to short selling America, Eric. You'da thought they'd be smart enough to send in a R-uterus.

Limeylizzie March 4, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Maybe that cross-eyed Virginia Foxxxxx?

FakaktaSouth March 4, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Precisely! She perfectly sums up how crazy ANY chick has gotta be to suck, I mean, tow the line for these guys now.

bumfug March 4, 2012 at 3:27 pm

"My people were slaves 3000 years ago; we know persecution. Now give me your uterus, I've got plans for it."

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Of course, back then causing a miscarriage would just get you a civil fine if the husband demanded it (Exodus 21:22-25) (unlike, say, gathering sticks on a Sunday, which got you death by stoning.)

finallyhappy March 4, 2012 at 5:13 pm

in those days, it was gathering sticks on a Saturday

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Ooops.—

anniegetyerfun March 4, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Sunday libel? I honestly don't even know how this particular joke works.

Chet Kincaid March 4, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Wow, I have never seen that particular passage. It looks like there is a lively debate about whether it's actually saying that abortion isn't that big a deal, which is what it sounds like. (Just googled "interpretations of")
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodu

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Yes, there's a guy who hangs around our U going to seminars from time to time who is a very old-fashioned (and, in fact, very old) Dutch Calvinist originally from the west part of the state. He had been teaching the history of philosophy and religious doctrine at Wayne State and retired back to Grand Rapids or Holland MI, or wherever in the late seventies but found he really enjoyed talking to secular professor types more than anti-intellectual homeschoolers so he moved back to the heathen regions.He has a breathtaking knowledge of Scripture, so I love talking to him about what he knows.

We've had some conversations about this passage – he's from the older days before Roe v. Wade made abortion the central topic of religious politics, and though he's personally anti-abortion, he finds the textual arguments for its prohibition forced and unconvincing. (Not surprising, since nobody thought there were such arguments until suddenly it became a political necessity to find them.) This passage is one of the principal reasons why he is dubious, combined with the general absence of much other mention of abortion or miscarriage. (Also, he always enjoys observing that many of the passages twisted into anti-abortion proof texts (like, for example, the " before ye were formed in the womb I knew ye" one – can't remember the chapter and verse numbers right now) would give arguments against abstinence as well, if they meant what they are being twisted into meaning.) He also pointed me in the direction of the literature you've unearthed, which is often impressive in its casuistical intricacy.

bikerlaureate March 4, 2012 at 11:22 pm

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
- Jer 1:5

MosesInvests March 4, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Jewish tradition has always held that life begins at birth, not before-and that is more narrowly defined as "head clearing the birth canal". Jewish law allows for abortion *during birth* if the pregnant woman's life is at stake (ex.-breech birth that can't be turned). Did I say allows? *Mandates* abortion in the case of danger to the woman. A fetus is not a human life under Jewish law-period. The legal status is that of part of the woman's body-you wouldn't amputate a limb for no good reason, but if you have a reason, you absolutely do it. If Cantor is saying anything different, he's either ignorant or lying through his teeth.

Chet Kincaid March 5, 2012 at 12:48 am

Well, that just confirms what a lying, enabling asshole Cantor is.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 5, 2012 at 12:10 am

"My people were slaves 3000 years ago…"

There's a deafening absence of historical evidence for the Egyptian enslavement and the Exodus. Not a scrap, not a hint of a mention, in anything from ancient Egypt. And if there's one ancient society that left a ton of crap behind, it's the Egyptians., who (with the curious omission of The Idiot's Guide to Pyramid Building) wrote down pretty much everything.

MosesInvests March 5, 2012 at 1:12 am

OTOH, there is plenty of evidence for the massive enslavement of Jews by the Romans. In fact, after the conquest of Judea, the price of slaves all over the Empire was depressed for years by the glut of Jewish slaves on the market.
BTW, most likely there was a small group of Hebrews (possibly the tribes of Levi and Ephraim-a lot of Egyptian names there) who were slaves in Egypt. Small enough not to be worth the attention of the Egyptian chroniclers.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 5, 2012 at 10:39 am

True of the Romans … but they enslaved pretty much everybody they could get their mitts on. No oppression points for Cantor there.
Israelites in Egypt were just one of many Semitic groups who moved in under the Hyksos. The all got booted out eventually … current thinking is that the expulsion got re-told as a liberation story. (Everybody was a winner, in their own histories.) The Egyptians may have enslaved a few, but it wasn't particularly systematic … and they're unlikely to have escaped in any substantial numbers.

Callyson March 4, 2012 at 3:28 pm

"…nobody's denying access–it's not about that…"
NoCandor, it is *all* about denying access, you lying sack of shit…

Doktor Zoom March 4, 2012 at 5:07 pm

If people want birth control, they can buy condoms in bulk at Costco.

For now.

poncho_pilot March 4, 2012 at 8:34 pm

"welcome to Costco. i love you."

Biff March 4, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Damn it, now I gotta watch the movie again.

weej_bain March 4, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Does the purportedly rational, backstabby but rational, Congressdouche Cantor really believe the Repug womynz will b'have in the voting booth if they keep up with this misogynistic meme? Even the oh so tightly-wrapped, daily-massed, Lady Peggyton Noonington is getting restless.

Chet Kincaid March 4, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Speaking of whom! I demand a Nooner!!

JustPixelz March 4, 2012 at 3:29 pm

But where's the part where Gingrich — five minutes earlier — said the problem with Limbaugh calling a woman a slut is that the media covers it.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Loving the "LUNTZ IT UP" category.

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 3:37 pm

I'll double down on that.

Callyson March 4, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Also, snark off–excuse me, but the Obama administration rule still allows churches their religious freedom exemption–it's the religiously – affiliated hospitals and universities that are impacted. So, if the churches don't want to cover birth control, they can get out of those businesses and stick to the religion, and allow people who are getting an education or getting health care (from, in many cases, hospitals that started out as non – religious institutions in the first place) to exercise *their* religious freedom…
Your faith does not entitle you to impose your religious beliefs outside the confines of your church and those who choose to attend it. And I for one thank God that *I* have the religious freedom to ignore those who would have it otherwise…

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm

You're going WAY off message, Cantor. We're trying to convince everyone this is all about Obama fist-fucking estrogen pills into the Pope's ancient rectum, remember?

anniegetyerfun March 4, 2012 at 7:19 pm

It's wrong that I am turned on by that, right? It is, I think.

Loaded_Pants March 4, 2012 at 7:55 pm

It's so, so wrong. Because I'm convinced that the orifice that the Pope has in common with the rest of the human species is a mouth.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Kinks are okay as long as nobody gets hurt, right? Wait til you get your Crucifixion Room finished! I think your safety phrase should be (if you're taking suggestions) "Pope's ancient rectum".

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Isn't the safety phrase supposed to be something you wouldn't say in the normal course of conversation?

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 8:03 pm

BTW, I'm watching "60 Minutes" on the DVR and they just said that there used to be so many priests ordained in Dublin that they were one of their main exports. Last year zero priests were ordained in Dublin. This year only one is planned to be. uh, and now my DVR just autotuned to fucking "Celebrity Apprentice"?? What is my wife thinking? Anyway, Ireland's sick of the child-fucking.

mayor_quimby March 4, 2012 at 8:08 pm

They are way ahead of quota, so they get a couple centuries off.

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Young Dublin men are going into the one Irish business that is experiencing explosive growth: Holy relic theft.

ohionative March 4, 2012 at 7:22 pm

And the poor pope has to pretend he doesn't like that

memzilla March 4, 2012 at 5:35 pm

By Rethuglican logic, of course, Dog help you if your boss is a Christian Scientist, who could thereby deny you all visits to a doctor on the grounds that it violates his religious beliefs. Howcome nobody has made this parallel?

snoopyfan2010 March 4, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Because that would make too much sense. And it would be fun to see people get angry when it actually happens.

horsedreamer_1 March 4, 2012 at 10:29 pm

James Hetfield lost his mother to her faith in Christ, Scientist. Maybe he could wake up the GOP with a rousing "One", then. For the troops.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 5, 2012 at 12:18 am

Jon Stewart demolished the GOPtards with exactly this reductio ad absurdum.

BerkeleyBear March 4, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Or they can stay in those businesses and get out of the hoovering up Federal money aspect of the business. Of course, the Catholic Church huffs and puffs and acts like they are going to stop doing anything every time someone passes a non-discrimination bill (see child services in DC). The real answer would be to say fine, we'll just make this slight tweak to the tax code, since you aren't helping the entire population, and then as long as you take no Fed dollars you can do as you please – but no, let's not actually make the tax exemptions push good policies.

BarackMyWorld March 4, 2012 at 7:54 pm

No, I'm pretty sure this debate is because Obama wants the Catholic Church to hand out abortion pills during communion.

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Creeping, backdoor TALMUDIC LAW!!1!
Wake up sheeple!

Beowoof March 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Eric is into backdoor rules, who knew another republican in the closet.

BerkeleyBear March 4, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Everyone who saw him at that Britney Spears concert "fundraising" a couple years ago.

Chet Kincaid March 4, 2012 at 7:14 pm

80 years ago, and in certain "patriot social clubs" today, that is not even a joke.

JustPixelz March 4, 2012 at 3:42 pm

"I think it is the height of insensitivity, and unreasonableness to allow for the construction of a mosque on the site of the World Trade Center bombings." — Eric Cantor on religious liberty, Aug 12, 2010

glamourdammerung March 4, 2012 at 4:00 pm

There should be a "children's treasury" of these comments.

Doktor Zoom March 4, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Psshh. Don't be silly. The First Amendment doesn't apply to FALSE religions.

BerkeleyBear March 4, 2012 at 5:53 pm

And Eric should know after the C Street members gave him a wedgie, swirlie and two purple nerples for not praising Jesus on the floor of the House.

WinterOuthouse March 4, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Do you think his asshole gets jealous when all that shit comes out of his mouth?

Texan_Bulldog March 4, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I'm not sure if calling David Gregory a 'journalist' passes muster. I think 'obsequious know nothing pander bear' is probably more appropriate. But hey, even a blind squirrel gets a nut every once in awhile.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 4:43 pm

I like that. So I hope "pedo bear" works for this, as I didn't see much other than pandas when I googled "Pander Bear". Hey, Gregory and pedophiles are both offensive!

anniegetyerfun March 4, 2012 at 7:21 pm

"Pander Bear" is what we calls them in Alabama!

Seriously, though, someone needs to create a pander bear image.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Any suggestions on what physical characteristics a pander bear's face would have? Like maybe it would have one half white and the other black, like a yin-yang, to signify that he'll say one thing outta one side of his mouth, the complete opposite thing outta the other side?

anniegetyerfun March 4, 2012 at 8:52 pm

That's even deeper than I was considering. I just figured a really stupid looking panda, with a mouth partly open and a sycophantic/overly eager expression.

DemmeFatale March 4, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I knew he was a douche.
However, the epic smarmy grin makes him even more hate-able.
(And I did not think that was possible.)

JustPixelz March 4, 2012 at 3:49 pm

"Those Islamists and their apologists who argue for 'religious toleration' are arrogantly dishonest," — Newt Gingrich about the so-called "ground zero mosque".

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 4:11 pm

And Newt knows from arrogant dishonesty.

JustPixelz March 4, 2012 at 3:52 pm

"This is not whether it's a legal right to do it. People have legal rights to do a lot of things in this country." [The imam is] "ignoring the will of the American public, as by the way, Barack Obama is by siding with him," — Rick Santorum commenting on the so-called "ground zero mosque", Aug 2010.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Eric Cantor is an Acanthonus armatus, In My Humble Opinion.

And David Gregory is no fucking journalist, unless the new definition of "Journalist" = "Disgracefully Obsequious overpaid stenographer and Wine Sucking Toady".

weej_bain March 4, 2012 at 3:58 pm

OT…Другие темы

OMG the dogless Vald Putin has caught the Boner weep. Do ya think the former head of the KGB, and just re-Presidented, Valdie will be taking up golf and tanning salons soon?

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 4:17 pm

I'm sorry, it was all Greek to me.

Oh, wait.

BlueStateLibel March 4, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Corrupt tyrants and GOPeers could actually use some birth control themselves to regulate their obviously out-of-control hormones and weepiness.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Never trust anything that cries for three days and doesn't die.

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Or worse yet, Boner shirtless on a steed.

Chet Kincaid March 4, 2012 at 7:31 pm

He is overcome with schmaltz at the thought of all the tender, nubile first-time suffrage he is about to deflower.

not that Dewey March 5, 2012 at 10:25 am

Amid cries of widespread voter fraud, the former-KGB boss assures us that the election was fair.

This Guardian article about the alleged electoral fraud invokes Benford's law, which is one of my favorite fraud-detection algorithms. When people create phony numbers, they tend to uniformly distribute the first digit among 0 – 9, when in practice, numbers tend to follow a logarithmic distribution of first digits.

miss_grundy March 5, 2012 at 1:50 pm

And show up shirtless somewhere so that someone can take his picture and show him to be a m-a-n. It doesn't take much to help the Ruskies be happy.

Blueb4sunrise March 4, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Alas, if only Kortney were here to share her thoughts.

Doktor Zoom March 4, 2012 at 5:01 pm

She's too busy hurting cats. You don't want to know the details.

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Lately I hear she's been imprisoning pregnant hogs in tiny cages….

proudgrampa March 4, 2012 at 5:03 pm

O would that we could go back to simpler times…

Whatever happened to Kortney and her vegetables? She had nice casabas…

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 5:40 pm

As a public service (for about the 11th time now), Kortney.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 5:46 pm

"Penis Shaped Vegetables. A Good Thing."
-Martha Stewart

Loaded_Pants March 4, 2012 at 5:52 pm

"They can be arranged nicely in a basket."

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 6:52 pm

I wonder if she uses oral contraception.

DemmeFatale March 4, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Have they ever been seen together?
Like in the same room?

NYNYNYjr March 5, 2012 at 1:35 am

I love all these administrative deletions. Then you try to figure it out from the comments below. It's a brain teaser.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Even though Paul Ryan hates America way more than DixieJew, he's been laying low ever since lucid- to only half-senile olds found out how much dripping loathing he has for them and their medical/financial situations.

sharethegrief March 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm

The Catholic Church practicing their faith has left a trail of victims since the Inquisition. I would think that generations of boys having their lives scarred would cause the church to nurture some humility instead of wrapping themselves in a Kevlar blanket of persecution.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Inquisition? Wasn't that less than a thousand years ago? Keep going back…

NYNYNYjr March 5, 2012 at 1:38 am

Yeah, the body count skyrocketed 1000 years before the inqu. when the catholic church blended with Emperor Constantine.

weej_bain March 4, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Now they're trying for generations of grrlz with far away eyes.

sharethegrief March 4, 2012 at 5:30 pm

You good D.J.

Beowoof March 4, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Like most at NBC these days, David Gregory will not ask any questions that piss off his conservative overlords at GE and Comcast. That being said I can see where maybe he has been directed to stand up to Cantor as there are many women out there who make decisions on whether cable will be on in their home.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I don't think I'm just doing that selective nostalgia thing when I remember Tim Russert as being SO MUCH LESS full of shit than David Gregory is. I watch MTP maybe once every 2 months now, where it used to be my Sunday morning ritual (yeah, not a Churchie).

FlownOver March 4, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Gregory:Russert::Mick Taylor:Brian Jones

Beowoof March 4, 2012 at 8:46 pm

I was always a fan of Tim, but he was a Buffalo guy and that is where I grew up. Wolf Blitzer is from Buffalo but is a giant douche bag.

new_pic_for_NEWTer March 4, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Whiny little fuck is whiny. …or just for you LL, whingy.

Gainsbourg69 March 4, 2012 at 4:20 pm

In the next segment with Debbie Wasserman, young David was falling over himself to frame the republican war on women as a rational argument about religious freedom. Fuck him.

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Srsly? I can't watch this dreck. Fuck the MSM.

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I will always sit in awe of teh Wonketeers who have to cojones to go over to Red State and Yahoo and read the comments there. I can barely stand the few I still see on Facebook.

Chet Kincaid March 4, 2012 at 7:15 pm

He certainly did a fine job of breaking down Eric Cantor's evasions. (hurkh! spew)

Gainsbourg69 March 4, 2012 at 7:31 pm

I seriously wish they'd bench that idiot and give Maddow Meet The Press.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 9:17 pm

That would be ridiculously awesome. She'd be breaking news eery single Sunday, as she's excellent in her talent to pull the full-on crazy out of evasive crazies, and to get them to do her show in the first place. Only the most cunning people are able to evade her show, entirely.

Gainsbourg69 March 4, 2012 at 9:58 pm

The woman is incredibly smart and she doesn't put up with spin or half assed talking points. The odds of her becoming moderator of MTP are slim to none. It's a shame because she's perhaps one of the best educated pundits in the country.

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 10:16 pm

She delaminated Rand Paul that one night. His pitiful performance scared all the other teabagger types away.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 4:34 pm

OT, but: I seem to remember some story on Friday about some Douchebag dying.
Does anyone else remember that? No?
Ahhh, never mind. It was probably nobody important.

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Though according to the newspapers and left-leaning blogs, he was really a great guy to hang around with. Warm and loving.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Naaah, that's' not the one. The one I'm thinking of was a talentless hack Corporate tool who specialized in angry public tirades, ratfucking perceived enemies and hiring embarrassingly inept henchmen to engage in covert character assassination of innocent private citizens, for profit.
Still nothing? No, me neither.

BlueStateLibel March 4, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I'm confused, because there was also the overthrow of the old guard at Wonkette at about the same time… someone got it, not sure who.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 5:09 pm

That's a trend I've noticed here at Wonkette. Things slip on the weekend: news items get lost, Trolls invade and Friday stories Mutate into 2000+ post nightmares due to Editorial Neglect. I blame distilled spirits.

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 5:54 pm

I guess weekend posting is the Wonkette equivalent of gunshots at the presidential palace and only patriotic music on the radio and TV for a few days.

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Yeah, I saw that, too, Chick, even from notorious sarcasm-bondage mistress Benincasa on her Facebook page. I think maybe it's the "pdog's first boss" syndrome. People in the profession that knew him only socially or from professional conferences found him garrulous and affable. The many who actually worked for him and saw on an everyday basis what an obnoxious, alcohol-brain-damaged, gold-bricking, sexual harrassment artist he was thought majorly otherwise.

Loaded_Pants March 4, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Much like my partner's father who, to everyone who didn't have to live with him, seemed like such a wonderful & witty raconteur who would only have a "couple" of drinks each evening.

HuddledMass March 4, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Dad? Is that you?

Wait a minute, that means I'm your partner? So confused….

proudgrampa March 4, 2012 at 5:07 pm

"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here…"

Internet fame is fleeting.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Sometimes, that's a Good Thing.

proudgrampa March 4, 2012 at 5:15 pm

C_R_, I could not agree with you more!

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 5:27 pm
C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 5:40 pm

No, but that's a good guess! So many Douchebags…

redarmyzombie March 4, 2012 at 5:44 pm

You know, it occurred to me that despite how much we may have disliked him, he was still a human being with a family of his own, and for that we should give him a moment of silence, if we may…

…Well, that should do it! Now, who wants to hear the one about Breitbart and the goat on Viagra?

Arken March 4, 2012 at 4:35 pm

"In any case, Eric Cantor knows a loser when he sees one, in the mirror."

If that were true, we wouldn't have a problem.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Wait…he shows up in Mirrors?

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Anybody ever seen Eric Cantor in the same room with James Marsters?

SheriffRoscoe March 4, 2012 at 4:36 pm

That post is so chock full of lulz and WIN. I am officially in love with our new Editrix.

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Cantor, Blunt, Issa and all the other Republican hacks: you say "this is not about contraception, this is about religious freedom". Here is some elementary thinking for you. (Don't strain your pineal gland.)

a) Everyone (or as close to everyone as any political proposition ever gets – I'll omit this qualification from now on but it will be tacit) agrees that religions are afforded exceptionally broad latitude by the Constitution for conscientious objections, and that this is appropriate in a tolerant society. Quakers don't need to swear an oath, but only attest (or whatever the category of "not swearing an oath" is that Quakers do). Jehovah's witnesses don't salute flags. The most authoritarian and capricious authority in the country (the NCAA) allows Mormons an exception to eligibility limits for their two year missions. And, of course, Churches are tax-exempt, even when they engage in flagrant political activity. And so on….

b) Everyone agrees there are limits. The Catholic Church does not have licence to handle all child molestation cases internally, and they are not exempt from civil suits or bankruptcy rules. The Supreme Court has held that Native Americans who use peyote in their religious rituals (protected, up to a point) are not exempt from being fired from their jobs for showing up high on that peyote. Nobody would defend an organization who would only offer insurance coverage for hospitals that segregated men and women in separate buildings. And, of course, there are those people (not me, I hasten to add, but perhaps you know some) who urge significant restrictions on where mosques can be constructed. And so on….

So look: everybody, — everybody! — agrees on the principle: Wide latitude to religion, but it's not absolute. Exceptions have to be evaluated on a case by case basis. So that's the question: is denying birth control coverage an acceptable demand for the Catholic Church to enforce on the employees of its affiliate organizations? The principle of broad latitude for exceptions arising from religious doctrine is not at issue, because everybody agrees about that. The question is about whether birth control coverage is reasonably denied on these grounds. It is about birth control, not about a principle that everyone agrees about.

But thanks for playing.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 4:44 pm

There you go again, confusing people with all your Facts N' Stuff when the Nice Republicans are trying to stimulate their amygdala.
Shame on you.

Doktor Zoom March 4, 2012 at 4:59 pm

But don't you understand? If the Catholic Church fails to get everything it wants, it's a War On Religion, and Hitler is just around the corner.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Oh, those poor Christians!

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Dok, I was scared for a second it was another link drop into the freeper cesspool. Phew, between Chich's remarks and Stewart's assault, can't we put this nonsense to rest? Oh wait, it's hurting the GOP, right??!?

BlueStateLibel March 4, 2012 at 5:10 pm

The other thing is, requiring an insurance company to pay for birth control, essentially making birth control an option, is not the same thing as forcing people to use it. Catholics stress the importance of Free Will, the Christian is supposed to go through life making free choices, not being forced to do certain things, and not being shielded from choice. Also, Republicans suck.

ShaveTheWhales March 4, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Fucking logician.

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Ingenious, Chich. Now if only we could fit it on a bumper sticker.

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 6:06 pm

How about one that says See footnote 43!

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 6:03 pm

I bet you went to college. Snob.

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Well, yeah. But it was in one of those foreign countries where the universities are just worthless indoctrination centres in socialism. I only learned how to read and write from smuggled Bibles.—

Chet Kincaid March 4, 2012 at 7:04 pm

It's got nothing to do with "thinking" — Eric Cantor doesn't give a shit. Did you see the way that asshole sat there and stonewalled with bullshit talking points over and over again? This is all a game to him. Obama's compromise solution was good, right, and perfectly in line with religious freedom. You could interview fucking Eric Cantor on TV all day and night and he would never acknowledge that.

anniegetyerfun March 4, 2012 at 7:28 pm

You DO realize that the President is not completely white, don't you? That nullifies everything.

Doktor Zoom March 4, 2012 at 4:50 pm

"Refusing to include in an insurance plan" is totally different from "Denying access."

This is a good word game! Give me another one, because I missed Will Shortz on Weekend Edition this morning.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I'm just content, for now, to sit back and watch them fuck themselves up on Teevee. For now.

ttommyunger March 4, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Nice try, Rebecca, but after studiously avoiding all the bloviation on the Sunday Gas Bag Shows you think I'm going to watch a "Smirk-Off" between two of the most dishonest and unwholesome fucks on the backside of our political landscape? Nope! Not gonna do it! Not at this juncture. Wouldn't be prudent; nope, not gonna do it.

Toomush_Infer March 4, 2012 at 5:13 pm

too late….

ttommyunger March 4, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Never too late to take a poke at Pappa Douche.

proudgrampa March 4, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Rebecca, I think I love you.

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Kortney haz the sadz.

Doktor Zoom March 4, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Does Eric Cantor's government-paid health insurance cover contraception?

If so, I believe it's only fair to ask him to post sex tapes online, which would probably lead many to become permanently abstinent.

ThundercatHo March 5, 2012 at 10:54 am

or permanently bulemic

paris biltong March 4, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Just had what I thought a rather innocent if not extremely witty comment deleted by the administrator.

Doktor Zoom March 4, 2012 at 5:20 pm

I bet it included one of the Words of Power. Like Tr!g, or wolf…

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 5:45 pm

J' en ai perdu un aussi, il ya cinq jours. Nous devons commencer à écrire dans une langue inconnue chez les Américains.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Are you speaking 'Freedom"?

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 5:51 pm

We. We.

MosesInvests March 4, 2012 at 11:27 pm

That holy word! E pleb nista!

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Mon aéroglisseur est plein des anguilles. Mes tétons exploser avec plaisir!
Attendez! il ya quelque chose de mal avec mon traducteur! Merde!

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Laisse tomber tes culottes, Sir William, je ne peux pas attendre à midi.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Si je dit que vous aviez un beau corps, tiendriez-vous contre moi? I. .. Je ne suis plus infecté.

Pas un francophile – J'adore Google Translate!

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Won't work for long. Patrick Stewart said "Merde!" on the bridge of the Enterprise on the premier episode of The Next Generation, and never said it again in the series' seven-year run. The censors obviously didn't know French, but one or more horrified viewers rat-finked on him.

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Let's try: Sarah Palin est en retard.

What? I can't say Palin is late?

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Only if you say it in the form, "Sarah Palin est la morte."

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Jesus! There's some things you can't even post in French! Harsh.

paris biltong March 5, 2012 at 3:32 am

Wir brauchen Zensur wie ein Loch im Schönkopf.

Chichikovovich March 5, 2012 at 11:00 am

Det tror jeg nok.

Chichikovovich March 5, 2012 at 11:44 am

Tämä huomio oli oikeastaan ​​aika hauska. Oliko se joka sai poistettu? {Olen varma, kielioppi osoittaa, että tämä on Google kääntää tuotanto)

paris biltong March 5, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Basta! E troppo è troppo. I can't even remember the original entry, which wasn't very clever of anything. Thanks for you help a support. Down with censorship!

glamourdammerung March 4, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Just had what I thought a rather innocent if not extremely witty comment deleted by the administrator.

Sometimes, Intense Debate just screws up randomly.

Guppy March 4, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Seriously, this whole weekend posting thing… it's starting to scare me.

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Me too. That's how Hitler started.

Guppy March 4, 2012 at 6:06 pm

And our new Lady and Mistress does have a German name…

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Great, now I'm scared.

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Pretty head though.—

Guppy March 4, 2012 at 6:12 pm

And if her name were "Runderkopf," her stewardship here would be the fulfillment of destiny.

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Schoenbrust, too, also.

And no, I don't know any German except what I learned from "Hogan's Heroes" on the TeeVee.

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 6:45 pm

As I pointed out the other day Chich. I also hoped that Rebecca meant "giving." And she has proved it this weekend.

HistoriCat March 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

You know who else had a German name?

738838 March 4, 2012 at 9:03 pm

You mean that nice Mister Hilter?

not that Dewey March 4, 2012 at 9:29 pm

You wouldn't have had much fun in Stalingrad, would you?

starfanglednut March 4, 2012 at 10:08 pm

If he opens his big mouth again, it's lampshade time!

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Yes, the one who has all the maps spread out on the dining room table.—

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Like any of us had a life Monday through Friday …

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Ha! I at least used to have a life! For a few months in my early 20s…

Chet Kincaid March 4, 2012 at 6:52 pm

It's about time, the Internet don't stop between Friday and Monday. And we're gonna comment anyway, so great, now I don't have to try to read 3,000 comments on one post.

Guppy March 4, 2012 at 7:33 pm

The problem with weekend stories is that they lead to the delusion that our editors care

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 9:21 pm

In a good way, though, right?

Rotundo_ March 4, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Ryan is trying to fly under the radar, since many of the people in his district are in deep shit economically with the GM plant closing. All of this Randian masturbation doesn't sell to well to people who are one or two payments away from out on their ass. Either of them would look fabulous taking a baseball bat to the mouth however.

avsutton March 4, 2012 at 5:44 pm

So I earnestly read this whole thing, including all the comments, while thinking of pithy librull girl-replies (mostly consisting of "Fuck The Republicans!"), when I read a comment which used a big long Latin word. Since that made me feel stupid, I googled the aforesaid big long Latin word…

"Bony-eared assfish."

WIN.

Rotundo_ March 4, 2012 at 5:59 pm

"Hero Journalist"? David Gregory? David may not have responded to Cantor's "Hey Homes' we're a minority too!" bullshit but he still isn't fit to be Murrows' urinal cake as a journo. As for Cantor, regardless of what faith he supposedly adheres to, the man is shit upholstered in skin, along with Boehner McConnell and the rest of that lot.

Limeylizzie March 4, 2012 at 6:00 pm

I would do a threeway and fuck them both up.

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Bless you, Ll, for taking not one, but two for the old US of A!

Limeylizzie March 4, 2012 at 6:26 pm

You can throw in that hideously-coiffed Joe Walsh(Dick) IL. as well, for giggles.

Rotundo_ March 4, 2012 at 6:02 pm

By the way, Thanks Beckster, for the morsels over the weekend to chew on. There are moments when we need to vent and it is on a Sunday. Best wishes on your newfound burden as den mother of the asylum.

FlownOver March 4, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Absolutely. The Czar is dead; long live the Czarina!

Limeylizzie March 4, 2012 at 6:03 pm

I cannot wait for our live blogging of the Super Tuesday fuckfestival with our new overlady.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 6:31 pm

I like to think of it as the "Wonkette Lightning Round Slag the Unworthy and Group Drunk Super Tuesday fuckfestival" and I'm looking forward to it also.

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Needz moar wordz that start with a vowel so we can make a bumper sticker acronym outta it.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Good idea! I'll run right out and buy some.

EDIT: and, the acronym, it goes without saying, should be Rude.

MadBrahms March 4, 2012 at 11:51 pm

What about Wonkette's Erotic Super Tuesday, or WEST?

Jukesgrrl March 4, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Who could miss it?

fuflans March 4, 2012 at 6:05 pm

i vote we throw in joe walsh for the perfect storm of abrasive smug asshats.

fuflans March 4, 2012 at 6:10 pm

where's the bear jew when you need him?

Wadisay March 4, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Luntz would describe what the Republicans are now doing to their party as "gender cleansing."

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 6:36 pm

"Women Taxing"

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 6:47 pm

"The vaGinal Solution"

Too soon?

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 7:36 pm

"Demographic Change"

glamourdammerung March 4, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Luntz would probably use some ridiculous term like "reproductive freedom".

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 8:10 pm

Self-Inflicted Abstinence.

Monsieur_Grumpe March 4, 2012 at 8:50 pm

I have the feeling that if Cantor's wife cut him off from sex for all this bullshit it wouldn't make any difference.

Loaded_Pants March 4, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Supposedly she is all for marriage equality & is pro-choice. But she is also on the board of Media General (which is why you will not see a editorial in the Richmond Times-Dishrag criticizing him).
But I have heard rumors that she is just as slimy & loathsome as he is.
They have 3 children but I suspect they were not products of actual genital contact.
I think the closest that Eric & Diana ever came to having sex was hissing at each other whenever they met in the hallways of their McMansion.

TanzbodenKoenig March 4, 2012 at 6:31 pm

I've said it before and I'll say it again: the phrase "smarmy prick" was coined with this toolshed in mind.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 6:34 pm

OT: Obama leads all GOP rivals in Ohio, poll says (and Virginia)

Yes, I know there's almost a human gestational period between now and Nov., but still!

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Eric Cantor is a slut.

Toomush_Infer March 4, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Nonapology coming in 1….2….3…..

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 7:53 pm

BigRadio just lost SleepTrain and SleepNumber! How's it feel to be a prostitute without a mattress?!

Loaded_Pants March 4, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Eh. He can always provide his services in the alley behind the dumpsters.

natoslug March 4, 2012 at 8:34 pm

You lie! Sluts are prostitutes working pro-bono. Cantor is salaried. And no, I don't want to see the video.

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 6:44 pm

You can't spell "Wyoming" without "Womyn".

anniegetyerfun March 5, 2012 at 10:39 am

Well played.

I was actually concerned, when I first saw this headline, that Eric Cantor was sincerely puzzled by the word "womyn" and had to have the concept explained to him. on air. Then I had massive flashbacks to my time at Mount Holyoke, and had to curl up in a ball and sob a little.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 6:56 pm

One more OT: Another "Manhattan Mini Storage" ad. Remember the one about Michele Bachmann? Maybe because I'm not cool enough to live in Manhattan these unnecessarily political ads surprise me (but I like them). http://bit.ly/xY0c8J

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 10:00 pm

When I saw those photo ads, I immediately linked "Manhattan Mini Storage" with "Meat Garage" in my mind. Am I a Bad Person?

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 7:36 pm

I'm sure that all this public talk about Birth Control and Sluts and uteruses and vaginal probes is going to overstimulate some barely repressed Republican Luminary into a bizarre, grotesque and apallingly vile sex scandal.
It's got to happen. The real question is, who will crack first? Santorum? Gingrich? Bachmann (either one)? Virginia Foxx?

DCBloom March 4, 2012 at 7:46 pm

PLEEEEEAAAAASe let it be Foxx. She's my representative
*hangs head in shame

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Andy Harris (R-Entitled Douche) here.

I feel your pain.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 9:27 pm

I have this terrifying image in my head of her head rolling in rhythm as her bad eye keeps getting bonked against the side of her head.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Aauugghhh! It's like an early Peter Jackson film!

Barrelhse March 4, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Take the glass eye out and bonk the socket.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Urgh! Skullfucking Virginia Foxx! *Retch*

(Brightly) Well, at least they won't need Birth Control for that!

Biff March 5, 2012 at 12:30 am

Editrix libel!

BarackMyWorld March 4, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Ok, I have no interest in watching the video (though I do recommend this one, once you get passed all the Andrea Mitchell ass-kissing).

Anyone want to do me a solid and write a two-sentence recap of what Cantor said about AM radio's preeminent bag of brain-farts in bloated human form?

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 7:45 pm

OK. I'll give it a shot:

CANTOR: Bullshit. BullshitBullshitBullshit. BullshitBullshit. Bullshit,BullshitBullshitBullshitBullshit. BullshitBullshit – BullshitBullshitBullshitBullshit! Bullshit:BullshitBullshitBullshit (Bullshit) BullshitBullshitBullshit. Bullshit.

How was that?

BarackMyWorld March 4, 2012 at 8:30 pm

I appreciate it.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Sorry, I'm a reflexive smartass.

Cantor links Judaism and Catholicism to each other by labeling them both as "Minority Faiths" hews to the meme that the Admin's rule tells religions what to believe and do and tries to finesse the exemption by saying religious charities by definition are about "philanthropy and charity for all", don't just serve people of one religion (which would trip the exemption) and bizarrely maintains that Mitt Romney as president would lead to less moral confusion about religion.
Gregory tries to get Cantor to comment about the real question of access to contraception by asking him how he feels about women's views that the conflict's about reproductive rights, rights for women and Cantor just sidesteps, flatly denies that and returns to prefab Talking points.

Yeah, I'm Wordy.

MadBrahms March 4, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Roman Catholics are the single largest denomination in the US, so yeah, "minority faith".

flamingpdog March 5, 2012 at 1:13 am

I'm glad you explained that for BMW. I listened to it, but I couldn't help him because all I heard was the adults from Peanuts TV specials.

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 7:45 pm

OT, but AW, FUCK!

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Really? Shit. That's the whole family.

starfanglednut March 4, 2012 at 10:11 pm

I haz teh sad.

DCBloom March 4, 2012 at 7:51 pm

In other news….. Patricia Heaton went on a vile rant about Fluke on Twitter.
She got so much heat she had to close her account.
I never watched her show anyway, but now I'll double not watch it.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Closed her Twitter account, did she? Good. Partisan Cunt.

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Excellent. I didn't even know she had a show, and I wouldn't have watched it if I had known. But now I'm not watching it on principle. It's a matter of the dictates of my moral conscience.

starfanglednut March 4, 2012 at 10:13 pm

"But now I'm not watching it on principle. It's a matter of the dictates of my moral conscience."

Which means, of course, that you're entitled to tell other people not to watch it as well.

MosesInvests March 4, 2012 at 11:35 pm

"…entitled to *force* other people not to watch it as well." FIFY, NNTT.

anniegetyerfun March 4, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Is anyone covering it? I assumed someone was tracking idiot celebs who have to close their accounts, but I can't find any record of that.

She's such a twit.

Loaded_Pants March 4, 2012 at 9:30 pm

I'm all for idiot celebs closing their twitter accounts. I don't even care what their politics are.

Jukesgrrl March 4, 2012 at 11:09 pm

She's hideous. In spite of a prodigious amount of plastic surgery, even by Hollywood standards. Unfortunately, intelligence isn't brought on by Botox.

MosesInvests March 4, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Sheesh, she's a wingnut? Damn, that's disappointing. I always thought she was attractive, but this just uglifies her to me.

imissopus March 4, 2012 at 11:56 pm

I was surfing around a bit on Twitter and found someone who saved screenshots of the tweets: http://angryblacklady.tumblr.com/post/18753803252

I had heard she was a conservative, but I didn't realize she was such a vile and hateful jerk.

Negropolis March 5, 2012 at 12:35 am

Used to see her on the late-night shows, and she always seemed funny and pleasant and clever. I think she's from Ohio, so I figured she was a Midwest girl that had gone and made it good in TV and maintained a normalness about her just becauseof who she was. Then, I remember hearing about a year or two ago that she was a Republican, but still just assumed that it was the kind of Republicanism she got from growing up where she did; nothing crazy, though, still lowered my view of her. And, then I hear this and other stuff more recently, and it's clear that she's a nuttter. I just never get how you can work in the business that she does — having to deal with all types of people from every background — and still go/maintain full-nuttery.

Biff March 5, 2012 at 12:41 am

Oh, for fuck's sake. I didn't know who she was, so I googled her. Turns out I've never watched any of her shows or movies. Her wikipedia page showed her and Jim Caviezel involved in something or another, and I do watch his show "Person of Interest". His wiki said he contributed the max to santorum in '06. Jesus Christ…

Negropolis March 5, 2012 at 1:54 am

Did you forget that he played Jesus in Passion of the Christ for Mel Gibson? Jim is practically a Wahhabi Catholic, and has been for years.

Biff March 5, 2012 at 2:13 am

Didn't forget, I never knew. I don't get out much, and the closest I've lived to a theater the last 10 years is 65 miles.

flamingpdog March 5, 2012 at 1:19 am

Everybody loves Raymond. Patricia – not so much.

glamourdammerung March 5, 2012 at 9:01 am

I glanced at the remarks. What a vile little cretin. But I guess that explains why she is a member of the Party of Limbaugh.

Chet Kincaid March 5, 2012 at 9:42 am

Linky? Or summary of what she said?

glamourdammerung March 5, 2012 at 9:51 am
DCBloom March 5, 2012 at 10:03 am

@angryblacklady gets all the good dirt!

Chet Kincaid March 5, 2012 at 10:30 am
mayor_quimby March 4, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Is that the opposite of the Bear Jew?

Limeylizzie March 4, 2012 at 10:43 pm

I love, love, love that film.

NYNYNYjr March 5, 2012 at 1:31 am

This comment has been deleted by the administrator.

prommie March 5, 2012 at 9:58 am

Its cheap revenge fantasy, but boy was it effective, I wanted to stand up and cheer at the end.

prommie March 5, 2012 at 10:02 am

And who has been deleting shit around here? What is going on up in this beeyotch, is what I needs to know? Are there now "lines" and "boundaries" which cannot be crossed? Whatever happened to anarchy? Is it still arlright to say "I'd love to see Cantor slowly fucked in the eye-socket by a specially-built, 100-amp, stainless steel, spiked and barbed Rabbit vibrator, with the little clit-wiggler gouging at his other eye?" is that ok?

OC_Surf_Serf March 5, 2012 at 10:05 am

This commenter has been deleted by this comment.

Doktor Zoom March 5, 2012 at 10:21 am

This deletion has been commented upon by the Bear Jew

Limeylizzie March 5, 2012 at 10:20 am

I was wondering the same thing but I sneaked a “cunt” in the other day….

DaRooster March 5, 2012 at 10:27 am

I have yet to see 2 comments deleted for what ever was mentioned…

except that one ret@rded time…

Wadisay March 4, 2012 at 8:15 pm

I suppose describing the repression of women as "male enhancement" would be a little too obvious, even for Luntz.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Oh I don't know, that sounds pretty Luntzy (and probably brilliant, by evil standards).

Barb March 4, 2012 at 8:26 pm

From George Will:
Mr. Boehner comes out and says, Rush's language was inappropriate. Using a salad fork for your entree, that's inappropriate. Not this stuff… And it was depressing, because what it indicates is that the Republican leaders are afraid of Rush Limbaugh. They want to bomb Iran, but they're afraid of Rush Limbaugh.

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Boner, the misnomer, has slightly more balls than Pussy Mitts and his Churchillian Chinchillian statement:
"'ll just say this, which is, it's not the language I would have used."

Biff March 5, 2012 at 12:54 am

Meaning he'd use different words to say the same thing?

anniegetyerfun March 4, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Remember, killing people with slightly darker skin, using bombs, is about freedom. NEVAR FORGIT.

Biff March 5, 2012 at 12:54 am

Today I hate George Will slightly less than yesterday.

flamingpdog March 5, 2012 at 1:21 am

George Will is a total twit, but he lerves his Republican Party, and he's bright enough to see it swirling in the toilet bowl.

DCBloom March 5, 2012 at 10:04 am

One of the few times I actually agreed with Will.

DahBoner March 4, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Now can you explain to the old gold miner guy why you can't call them wimmins, either?

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Oh, so all of a sudden Cantor decides he wants to be a Jew, again, because, well, Catholic church, blah, blah, blah.

As much as I want to see Boehner swept from his Speaker's seat, nothing would make me happier than to see Cantor lose what he so badly wants.

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 10:18 pm

He doesn't even conceal the knife headed for Boehner's back.

Jukesgrrl March 4, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Deep down inside Boehner knows what an abject failure he is. I can't say the same for either Cantor or Ryan, who still fantasize they have leadership abilities. So I scorn them. I just laugh at Boehner.

Negropolis March 5, 2012 at 12:13 am

Yeah, it's is very obvious Boehner realizes that he took over the speakership at entirely the wrong time, or even that he realizes that he's a second-string politician, at best.

Cantor is just straight up delusional in the worst way. It's why it's so much more gratifying to see him fail. There is no self-awareness, there.

DCBloom March 4, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Michael Moore just tweeted this:
Rush – As soon as U started losing the big $$ from your hate speech, you caved & obeyed the men who pay U. Who's the prostitute now, bitch.

Barb March 4, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Great post! I am reading Michael Moore's book now. My bestie, Bill sent it to me and I felt obligated to read it in case there was a pop quiz later or something. He gave me a $20.00 gift card to Taco Bell as a bookmark, lol. I'm enjoying the book.

starfanglednut March 4, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Cool! Now you can get some of these.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/17/taco-bel

Best eaten while wearing a snuggie.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Watch the wingnuts heads explode in 3…2…

Jukesgrrl March 4, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Lobbyists don't usually seem to have trouble getting the government to do their bidding. I can only presume that Hadassah Lieberman and other operators for BigDrug, RichDrs, and HighBlueUnitedWellHumana are spinning like tops today trying to figure out a way to look like they care about religious freedom while simultaneously making the largest profit possible and not insulting Rush Limbaugh. It's hard out there for a pimp.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Thaaaaaat'sashame.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 8:46 pm

BTW, as if it keeps needing to be repeated…when you do business in an officially secular nation, in your capacity as businesses you will held to secular law. It's just that simple. You don't want to provide healthcare that provides birth control? Well, here's the compromise: stay the fuck out of doing business, or don't provide healthcare. Sorry to be so harsh, but this is not a controversy, and I'm tired of the media continuing to pretend that it is.

anniegetyerfun March 4, 2012 at 9:02 pm

It's sort of like pharmacists who refuse to fill certain prescriptions. My thoughts on this are, look, either you provide the health care that people want and need, or you don't get to practice the profession.

I posted something similar under my real name the other day online – it's probably only a matter of time before the hate mail starts rolling in.

starfanglednut March 4, 2012 at 10:17 pm

I feel like getting this comment tattooed on my forehead.

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 10:23 pm

It's hilarious, and of course never called out by the MSM, when Newt says we are on the road to becoming a secular nation. Thanks to Obama and those liberal Founding Fathers hate groups du jour.

glamourdammerung March 4, 2012 at 10:28 pm

This has been policy for about ten years now, so yeah it is totally a made up "controversary". And I am sorry, but churches abusing tax exemptions with for-profit businesses should have been ended a long time ago.

Jukesgrrl March 4, 2012 at 11:22 pm

Many cities in the U.S. would be in a much-improved financial situation if churches paid only property taxes, let alone the same taxes businesses are required to pay. My bet is Scientology would immediately cease being a religion, not to mention some of the megachurches that are really just social clubs for money-grubbing dicks and their spouses who need friends.

Biff March 5, 2012 at 1:07 am

Salt Lake City, for one.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 8:58 pm

I love how hate for Obama is pulling together almost all of the faiths. Now, conservative Jews, Catholics and Protestants are around the fire singing the most disingenuous version of kumbaya evah.

Barb March 4, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Kumbaya=Kenya-bye-ya!

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Actually, the Pastafarians are standing squarely on the side of Our President.

Barb March 4, 2012 at 10:00 pm

With the Pastafarians the pastabilities are endless.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 10:11 pm

I have to admit I'm in it for the Balls.
Well, that and the Fashion-Forward headgear.
Oh, and the Pirates. Really, what's not to like?

flamingpdog March 5, 2012 at 1:28 am

Only 199 days (really, I counted them) until the next International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

glamourdammerung March 4, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Nothing quite like the scumbags going on and on about how President Obama wants to do all this horrible made up nonsense and then make some comment about how he is the "most divisive president ever" out the other side of their lying mouths.

MadBrahms March 5, 2012 at 12:07 am

For what it's worth, all the actual Catholics I know, including my family, think this whole thing is utterly ridiculous. Of course, my lower capacity for cognitive dissonance is why I left so long ago. How anyone can stick around while the hierarchy has their heads that far up their asses / in other people's vaginas is beyond me.

Negropolis March 5, 2012 at 12:11 am

That's good, but it does seem like the Republican Party is cleaving off ever larger chunks of conservative Catholics from the main fold. When I typed "conservative", it is meant to quality all subsequent sects and religions I mentioned directly afterwards (i.e. conservative Jews, conservative Catholics, etc…)

C_R_Eature March 5, 2012 at 6:20 am

I'd honestly like to see he Catholic Hierarchy concentrate more on such matters of conscience as the opposition to the Death Penalty, opposing Wars of Choice, Genocide, opposing proliferation of nuclear weaponry, economic inequality, starvation, environmental devastation, global anthropogenic climate change, and that minor, persistent issue of child rape within the church.
I'd like them to stay out of matters they just don't understand, like women's vaginas.

glamourdammerung March 5, 2012 at 8:58 am

Nice try, libtard. But, not letting the Catholic Church participate in genocide and child rape is letting secular government undermine religious freedom.

Chet Kincaid March 5, 2012 at 9:49 am

I was going to snark about how American Muslims should join this grand coalition, in order to fuck with the wingnuts' heads. But then I wiki'd the Islamic position on these matters, and will have to applaud their enlightenment on this stuff, despite their other backwards views:

Muslim views on abortion are shaped by the Quran and Hadith as well as by the opinions of legal and religious scholars and commentators. In Islam, the fetus is believed to become a living soul after four months of gestation,[1] and abortion after that point is generally viewed as impermissible. Many Islamic thinkers recognize exceptions to this rule for certain circumstances; indeed, Azizah Y. al-Hibri notes that "the majority of Muslim scholars permit abortion, although they differ on the stage of fetal development beyond which it becomes prohibited."[2] According to Sherman Jackson, "while abortion, even during the first trimester, is forbidden according to a minority of jurists, it is not held to be an offense for which there are criminal or even civil sanctions. On this understanding, Muslim-Americans who oppose abortion should assiduously limit their activism to the moral sphere and avoid supporting positions that favor the imposition of criminal or civil sanctions in an area into which Islamic law itself never contemplated injecting these."[3]
….
The Qur'an does not make any explicit statements about the morality of contraception, but contains statements encouraging procreation. The prophet Muhammad also is reported to have said "marry and procreate".[13]
Coitus interruptus, a primitive form of birth control, was a known practice at the time of Muhammad, and his companions engaged in it. Muhammad knew about this, but did not prohibit it. Umar and Ali, the second and fourth of the Rashidun caliphs, respectively, defended the practice.[13]
Muslims scholars have extended the example of coitus interruptus, by analogy, to declaring permissible other forms of contraception, subject to three conditions:[13][14]
As offspring are the right of both the husband and the wife, the birth control method should be used with both parties' consent.
The method should not cause permanent sterility.
The method should not otherwise harm the body.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam_and_abortion
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_views_on_b

Changing my name to Chet X!

Fukui-sanYesOta March 5, 2012 at 10:44 am

You inspired me to look up the laws in Iran, to see how they compare with what the US would be like under Pope Santorum I

Abortion in Iran has been the subject of controversy for many years.In 1978 abortion was first legalized. In April 2005, the Iranian Parliament approved a new bill easing the conditions by also allowing abortion in certain cases when the foetus shows signs of handicap, and the Council of Guardians accepted the bill in 15/june/2005. Legal abortion is now allowed if the mother's life is in danger,and also in cases of fetal abnormalities that makes it not viable after birth (such as anencephaly) or produce difficulties for mother to take care of it after birth, such as major thalassemia or bilateral polycystic kidney disease.There is no need for a consent from the father and request and consent of mother with approval of three specialist physicians and final acceptance by legal medicine center suffices.Legal abortion is allowed only before 19th week of pregnancy.

Seems Iran is more progressive than Ricky al-Buttfroth.

Chet Kincaid March 5, 2012 at 10:52 am

Jeez, it's almost turning into another wingtard anti-Muslim talking point.

user-of-owls March 4, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Every time I see this miserable fucking filthyweasel I want mightily to bemute him.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 9:44 pm

The term "Filthyweasel" gets you a Gold Star. The judges will also accept Ferret Faced Jackalweasel.

smitallica March 4, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Eric Cantor has got to be one of the most punchable people who has ever lived.

MosesInvests March 4, 2012 at 11:44 pm

There's an acronym in the Israeli Army (which has acronyms for everything)-PaDaM. Short for Partzuf Doresh Makkot-"a face asking to get hit". Cantor's got one-he's the guy who would get the blanket treatment every night in Basic Training.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Oh, that's a great one and admirably deployed in context.
A Gold Star for you, too!

flamingpdog March 5, 2012 at 1:39 am

As much as it goes against my genetic makeup, I think of Cantor as a simple prairie dog.

BigRadio March 5, 2012 at 1:53 am

I always thought that was turtling, but, of course, we'll reserve that for McTurtle on the other side of the cameral.

Designer_Rants March 5, 2012 at 12:58 am

I wonder about these DailyKos blogs sometimes, but this one got me pissed: http://bit.ly/xAfd7L It's about a 16yr old girl who has to take a BC pill because she has horrible cycles otherwise, and now the girls at school are calling her a slut because one of their moms listens to Rush.

Then in that post there's a link to one of those "We The People" White house petitions to get Rush removed from "Armed Forces Radio," which I didn't even know was a thing, let alone a tax payer funded thing? And blasting hate-speech radio no less? Fuckers always trying to kill my beloved NPR and PBS and never even mentioned THIS deal? So here's the link: http://wh.gov/X1O I've noticed about a thousand extra sigs on it since I signed it a couple hours ago, which is way better than most of them do (and it's not even about weed!)… maybe something comes of it. Please sign if you're so inclined.

BigRadio March 5, 2012 at 1:56 am

C'mon D_R, doncha know that it's the Military-Industrial-SOCIALIST Complex?

Designer_Rants March 5, 2012 at 2:07 am

Whenever I start thinking about the breadth and width of that thur Military-Industrial complex, I start feeling like I'm in The Cube.

FlipOffResearch March 5, 2012 at 2:26 am

OK it's OT but it's been bugging me.

Dear Miss new Wonkette overlord: the past Wonkette was loathe to report on Israeli, lets just say, shenanigans. As Israel tries to suck us into another ill-advised war I hope you will take a more even handed approach.

It is my understanding that Iran is in compliance with the nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. It is also my understanding that the state of Israel is not.

Israel's belligerent stance towards Iran's legal nuclear research has caused the price of gas to rise. Thus risking our already weak economic recovery.

Umm, how come no news source is pointing this out?
.

paris biltong March 5, 2012 at 3:55 am

Are you implying that Wonkette is a news source? Afraid you're confusing us with someone else.

C_R_Eature March 5, 2012 at 6:00 am

I'm sorry, but I'm finding this post very difficult to masturbate to.

Fukui-sanYesOta March 5, 2012 at 10:37 am

Israel's belligerent stance towards Iran's legal nuclear research has caused the price of gas to rise.

Eh? No, it was Chelsea sacking Villas-Boas which is doing that.

Chet Kincaid March 5, 2012 at 10:39 am

That's funny, are you asking only because she's Jewish? Seems kinda dickish.

C_R_Eature March 5, 2012 at 5:50 am

This administrator is deleting too many goddamn comments, goddammit!

paris biltong March 5, 2012 at 8:24 am

I've already made my pun concerning this a few hours ago.
My own deleted entry contained two not common and possibly objectionable (?) words (it did not speak to the matter of mental handicaps), one of which is Islamic law (by its transcribed Arabic term) and the other the Islamic equivalent of "kosher".
Being somewhat suspicious by nature, I am wondering if this was not so much the doing of our new editrix as of some higher power intent on censoring all things Muslim.

not that Dewey March 5, 2012 at 9:04 am

Did it involve "halaligagging"?

Paradoxically, it would be interesting to see posted a list of the words that will result in administrative deletions.

poncho_pilot March 5, 2012 at 7:00 am

wow. currently residing in the "where are they now?" file, two Spinal Tap references in one weekend.

C_R_Eature March 5, 2012 at 7:12 am

OK, my reply to a post upthread by TundraGrifter (thanks, TG!) set me off. It should be obvious, IMHO, that the position the Catholic Hierarchy have taken regarding contraception and abortion has very little to do with moral stands and everything to do with religious institutions exercising operational control over secular governance, society and people's lives.
How do I know this? American Catholic politicians are routinely denied, and threatened with denial of, Communion for their beliefs and votes on Abortion and now Contraception.
Fine. Moral stance and Moral Relativism is not our thing.
However, when was the last time (or any time ever) that any politician anywhere has been denied Communion due a vote on the State Sanctioned Death penalty? Support of corporations who have been proven to have wiped out whole indigenous populations to get to resources? Votes for Wars of Choice? Support for weapons systems which, if ever used, would destroy civilization and sterilize vast areas of what they refer to as God's Creation?
I could be wrong, in my analysis. Someone let me know, if so.

Sorry, just can't find the funny in this right now.

Barrelhse March 5, 2012 at 7:20 am

Selectively pious.

paris biltong March 5, 2012 at 8:16 am

If you're suggesting that organized religion's forays into politics have been misguided, self-serving, opportunistic and cynical and that they reflect the corrupt and power-seeking nature of church hierarchies, then yes, you are most likely correct. However, you are not exactly the first person in the past three or four millennia to point that out.

Chichikovovich March 5, 2012 at 10:21 am

Ben oui, but in CRE's defence, [as the Republicans show us time and time again] some points can't be repeated often enough. American priests and bishops have just fallen in love with the whole "deny communion" tactic. So it should constantly be put to them that they only do it to people in a certain wedge of the political spectrum.

Keeping with this theme of "say it over and over again until the words wear out" , I'll repeat something I've said in different ways a couple of times over the last few weeks. There have been many dictators in the last century – including in recent decades – that were not only "good Catholics" but actually endorsed and supported by the Catholic heirarchy as bringing back the values of "travail, famille, patrie" or local equivalent, while they were arbitrarily arresting, torturing and killing thousands of political opponents (in some cases torturing and killing left-wing priests or nuns) and even in some cases assisting with genocide (Pétain) and in other cases energetically initiating it and carrying it out (Ante Pavelić). And I've never heard of any of these good Catholics being denied communion, or being threatened with excommunication, or any of that (true, I haven't devoted a lot of time to this, so I may be unaware of one or another Church action): Marshal Pétain, Ante Pavelić, Franco, Pinochet, the blood-soaked Argentine Junta during the late 1970s and early 1980s that was wholeheartedly supported by Catholic conservative organizations, Antonio Salazar (who had studied in seminary for years in preparation for the priesthood) Msgr. Jozef Tiso, the head of the Nazi puppet regime in Slovakia, who actually was a priest, and after his war crimes trial chose to be hanged in his clerical outfit, … This is a partial list – I could go on for pages, but who has that kind of time?

To repeat: None of these people, so far as I have been able to ascertain were ever excommunicated or denied communion. On the other hand, an American in a loving lesbian relationship at her own mother's funeral – well, the Church is 100% on board with the denial of communion in that case. Being a lesbian is, in the Church's eyes, worse than (say) "disappearing", torturing and killing a 17 year old Swedish girl, in Argentina as an exchange student, who did nothing but be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

C_R_Eature March 5, 2012 at 11:25 pm

A cogent, well sourced and comprehensive commentary, as usual and many thanks for backstopping me this time, Big C.
This was a thing I just had to get written down this morning and It irritates me no end that we have to keep on re-illustrating the same concepts, year after year. It must be done, though – Exhibit A is the tone of the media coverage of the Religious hierarchy's position and the fact that the aforementioned points never seem to come up.

glamourdammerung March 5, 2012 at 8:51 am

This is not about telling people what to do, but instead the deeply held religious principle of telling people what to do.

weej_bain March 5, 2012 at 7:24 am

Erik has showed he's ready to mud wrestle Rush. Warning not to be viewed before your first cup of coffee or tea.

from Mock Paper Scissors

glamourdammerung March 5, 2012 at 8:52 am

Drug Pig slimmed down quite a bit there.

DCBloom March 5, 2012 at 10:20 am

Should have listened to your warning. I will never erase that , Where's the eye bleach?

cheetojeebus March 5, 2012 at 8:47 am

Dear Wonkette,
Waking up on Monday morning and nibbling on the weekend's pizza crust that got left on the coffee table, metaphorically, is gettin' old.
grumpy cheeto

Chet Kincaid March 5, 2012 at 10:37 am

Be happy we got a bunch of weekend posts!

Tundra Grifter March 5, 2012 at 9:35 am

"It’s a fine line between clever and stupid…"

Not for the GNoPee. They don't do subtle and nuance.

Their "fine line" is an eight-lane freeway.

DCBloom March 5, 2012 at 10:27 am

Just read a great article about how Rush's ratings are suspect. Interesting read. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cenk-uygur/rush-lim

bagofmice March 5, 2012 at 10:51 am

Communities United, will Never be err… Divided!

Chichikovovich March 5, 2012 at 10:57 am

The Posters, United, will never be Deleted!

Blueb4sunrise March 5, 2012 at 10:56 am

Okay. I'm here. Time for a new post.
Delete this comment afterwards.

a_pink_poodle March 5, 2012 at 11:16 am

Oh womyn and their ridiculous desires for equality and respect!

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Like sex with Limbloat.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 5:27 pm

I just threw up in my mouth. A lot.

starfanglednut March 4, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Ewww, gack, retch!

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 6:04 pm

"For a pretty presentation, I like to stencil each with Georgia O'keefe flower patterns. Ferns and baby's breath add interest. Of course I select the largest one out, for myself."
– Martha Stewart's Erotic Garden

fuflans March 4, 2012 at 6:07 pm

in which case i hope we are all stockpiling booze and keeping a low profile.

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 6:10 pm

I'm pretty sure we are all doing the first and none of us is doing the second.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Well, I do try but for some reason the Rum is Always Gone!

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Very true. This is totally a Cromwellist blog.

fuflans March 4, 2012 at 7:44 pm

well certainly i have to follow you for that posting.

i am a whore for depp references.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Thank you! My Favorite Pirate.

I must see The Rum Diary soon.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 8:38 pm

"Pope's taut and ticklish taint"?

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Like this?

Loaded_Pants March 4, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Works well in classifying robots, it seems.

anniegetyerfun March 4, 2012 at 11:06 pm

LOVE it.

Biff March 4, 2012 at 10:18 pm

I thought their options were limited to the priesthood or law enforcement? And potato farming, of course.

tribbzthesquidz March 4, 2012 at 11:14 pm

It's like a plate.

FraAnima March 5, 2012 at 9:04 am

I wondered why you spend so much time looking in your pants, Opus.

Chet Kincaid March 5, 2012 at 9:40 am

This thread has literally turned into a dick-measuring contest!

Barrelhse March 4, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Fuck her brains out?

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 11:22 pm

(Brightly) Well, at least it won't take all that long!

not that Dewey March 4, 2012 at 11:29 pm

I am retired u-window cleaner and pacifist, without doing war crimes

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Good start, but Ruder:

Wonkette's All Night Gangblog (WANG)

Something like that…

C_R_Eature March 5, 2012 at 12:01 am

Yeah, so marginalized and oppressed. Sheesh.

Also noted that I painstakingly commented on the wrong video but I'm too crushed to rectify the situation. You're up!

Biff March 5, 2012 at 12:10 am

But not petit.

C_R_Eature March 5, 2012 at 5:47 am

Google Translate: Select "Asshole" to "English". Good to Go!

C_R_Eature March 5, 2012 at 5:58 am

Aye, that be me favoritest holiday ever but I can never seem t' be able t' wait a whole year, ye scurvy scum! Yarrr, and now the Rhum is all gone! Blast!

prommie March 5, 2012 at 10:35 am

Fucking hyper-sensitive retards are such faggots; they oughta lighten up, for fuck's sake.

natoslug March 5, 2012 at 12:33 pm

I've switched to the metric system and feel much more adequate now. Which reminds me — I need to warm up my micrometer.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: