Hero Journalist Attempts To Explain ‘Womyn’ To Disingenuous Douche

  luntz it up

It’s a fine line between clever and stupid, and the poor dears of the GOP establishment are all in a tizzy trying to find it. Having somehow decided that their previous forays into women’s uteruses lacked a proper goose-stepping panache, and having also settled on calling 150 million Americans diseased whoring strumpets as their big political winner, they are now in the slightly unenviable position of reframing, and reframing, and really for serious trying super fucking hard to reframe this bitch.

And that’s why, when David Gregory tries more than one time to explain to House Majority Leader Eric Cantor how almost all People see the birth control mishigas as about womyn’s health, and laugh at the GOP’s sad attempts to Luntz this sucker up as “religious freedom,” Cantor simply keeps repeating his pathetic talking point, with a weird scared smile on his face. Then he throws in some Jewish, to remind us that he knows from persecution.

Nobody in the world (except for your Editrix’s beloved idiot brother-in-law, and also probly every citizen of that weird small town You left behind when you caught teh Ghey) actually believes Eric Cantor is so totally up in religious freedom, particularly since his last thoughts on the matter, which included the super-American notion that maybe Muslims should have the common decency to not worship where others might see them.

In any case, Eric Cantor knows a loser when he sees one, in the mirror.

[MSNBC]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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431 comments

  1. Come here a minute

    Cantor is all, "Hey Fluffy, us Jews gotta stick together!"

    And Greggers is all, "Making a Catholic hospital's insurance buy drugs is not exactly pissing on the Torah."

    1. valgal2342

      If only Gregory said something like that, I thought he was pretty lame with his few words.
      Because if it were me up there instead of Gregory, well then, I would have used more words and would have been more entertaining smacking that nerd boy Canter down. Of course I would use lots of clever retorts stolen from Wonkette comments.

      1. MadBrahms

        More than I would do, which would simply be repeating "NO! NO! NO!" over and over again while hitting him about the head with a rolled-up newspaper.

        1. sewollef

          That's cruelty to a handicapped person… although it does have an element of fun attached to it.

      2. miss_grundy

        But Gregory is a Republican, so he isn't going to be mean to one of his own. That is why we need a newsperson who is a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat to verbally beat these jokers to death and in the process show how stupid they are.

        How would they feel if we took to calling every Republican woman a strumpet? If we told them that their wives, daughters, sisters, aunts, cousins and any other female relative of child-bearing years was regarded as a slut ?Do you think they would take umbrage? Can their brains make the logical jump since they want to start name-calling?

        Can't we just suspend assault laws for one day so that we can take out our anger management issues against these people? There are some torture methods instituted during the Spanish Inquisition that I would love to try out on Repugnants.

  2. Barb

    They've got a new birth control pill for men now. I think that's fair. It makes a lot more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest.
    Suck it, Eric!

        1. Sparky McGruff

          That message really applies to pregnant women. If a fetus gets a dose of Propecia at the right time, they'll be born with… uh… "unique" genitalia.

    1. Come here a minute

      This will work great when it's the man who gets pregnant after one night's passion.

    2. BlueStateLibel

      Hmmm, just bring back old-fashioned gelding, it'd calm these idiots down in a minute, works like a charm.

      1. C_R_Eature

        "…which makes people numb from the waist down and takes every pleasure out of sex."

        I thought that's what all the televisual and audio of Sarah Palin was about.

    3. natoslug

      First off, it's Sunday. Fucking motherfucking Sunday! Why are we having a post on Sunday? Some of us have to run through the woods building fences and maintaining their fucking sheep and feeding ticks and pouring concrete and pulling out the 4" sliver of p.t. lumber they accidentally shoved in their palm/wrist and have a hard enough fucking time keeping up with posts on Saturday, let alone bloody fucking Sunday.

      Second, if you are in the habit of the occasional casual sex, how many women are going to trust the guy who says "Trust me baby, I'm on the pill!" I know it's hard to believe, but if you're a straight guy, the truth is rather flexible if you want to get laid. A week without sex and we'll be willing to claim the pez we dug out of our pocket after a month counts as being on the pill. The majority of us are defined in large part by our penises.

      1. Biff

        You might as well go ahead and saw off your hand now, and save yourself from the agony of the nasty infection coursing through your body. I assume, of course, your lumber is arsenic treated?

        1. natoslug

          It's California — our P.T. is green, er, brown. Whatever it is is supposed to be somewhat safer. I'll wait for the hand to fall of on its own.

      2. Dashboard_Jesus

        damn you are one busy dude, and a sheep 'farmer' too evidently…who knew? btw what exactly do you feed the ticks?

        1. natoslug

          I nurse them at my sweet bosom. Or back. Or head. Wherever they manage to latch on before I find them. I'm hoping that I'll never notice the Lyme disease, what with all the stiff joints and being worn out and down by spoiled and lazy children already. I grew up in this area, romping through the redwoods and rolling in the mud and having a great time being young and unburdened by a sense of mortality and never got a tick. Now that I'm old enough that every fever is the onset of hauntavirus or plague, I seem to have morped into a tick-magnet. I'd much rather be a chick-magnet. Although being constantly pecked by chickens could get irritating after a while.

  3. imissopus

    It takes a supreme level of douchiness, in a room with only two people, to make David Gregory look like the smart one by a factor of about ten billion. Good on ya, Eric. Makes me proud of my roots as a Jew from Virginia.

    1. Chet Kincaid

      How do we know you're not Eric Cantor, the second Deep Cover Sleeper Agent of the Liberal Satanist Muslim conspiracy to activate after Rush Limbaugh?!

      1. imissopus

        Third. The second was the bartender in Brentwood who spiked Breitbart's red wine with a secret CIA-developed poison that would give him a heart attack and not show up under normal toxicology tests and autopsy protocols. Hang on, someone is knocking loudly on my front door…

    2. DCBloom

      As a southern Jew myself, I spent the whole interview pointing at the TV screaming "Token" & "Traitor'. Felt a little better

    3. Negropolis

      It takes a supreme level of douchiness, in a room with only two people, to make David Gregory look like the smart one by a factor of about ten billion.

      This is true. BTW, I see everyone praising David the Gregory, but all I really saw was Gregory do what he does and that's to try and make any opinion, no matter how wrong, sound like a good idea. It's like he's pleading with Cantor the entire time to say something half-way compromising so as not to embarrass him. His job as a journalist is to simply pull out what Cantor thinks, call bullshit lies when he can, and then let the other person's opinion stand on its own.

      1. ShaveTheWhales

        Unfortunately, it appears that his job is to be David Gregory. At least, I assume that is his entire job description, because his employers reportedly pay him quite a few Ameros, and that is all he ever does.

  4. KeepFnThatChicken

    Why is it that insurance "companies" (i.e., the type that like to make monies) would want to deny contraception anyway? I mean, a diaphragm has to be cheaper than a Caesarian.

    I mean, in the tradition of "business is business," right?

    1. Swampgas_Man

      They DON'T. They're more than happy to provide contraception, because it saves them money. This is all down to certain bullshit institutions that want to control their wimmen-folk, even if the women working there don't belong to their religion.

      1. BerkeleyBear

        And who, let's not forget, both take Federal monneyz to run said institutions (Medicare, Medicaid, etc.) and claim tax exempt status to increase their incomes.

    2. Veritas78

      It sure is, and that's why Obama didn't even need to check with the insurance companies when he came back with "Okay, we'll have the insurance companies provide contraception for free." Contraception is a tiny fraction of the cost of live births, especially if anything goes wrong.
      This is why I am convinced he set this up. It wasn't a blunder, the whole thing was intentional. He knew the wingers would bobble it and at every step they have. He keeps handing them Rorschach tests, and they keep taking them.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        He keeps handing them Rorschach tests, and they keep seeing muslins, terrists, and socialists. Who are near.

  5. flamingpdog

    I made it all the way through the 15-second ad for Boeing before I thought better of watching the video. Besides, I've finally decided who I'm going to buy my next bomber from and I have to get on the stick!

    1. cheetojeebus

      If you bring them an empty coke can and mention the coupon code "Shockandawe" you can get the fine Corinthian leather cockpit seat upgrade for free!

  6. Toomush_Infer

    What's cute is that Cantor is swinging that incense canister up and down in total innocent cupidity, like the acolyte who just a moment ago was putting a dirty Sanchez on his co-acolyte behind the apse….how did this little castrati ever get to be Jewish…?

  7. Mumbletypeg

    "That's why if Mitt Romney is President, we're not gonna have this confusion about religious freedom."

    Au contraire, Eric: the martyr complex and victim-bragging-rights engines that power your very message here *depend heavily* upon religious confusion; if your cohort Mitt wants his LDS-affiliation to continue to evade closer scrutiny from evangelicals, orthodox and independents alike, I'm sure he'll agree.

  8. mavenmaven

    He's full of crap, anyway, because the government does in fact legislate what kosher is, in that products are not able to label themselves as kosher without appropriate supervision.

    1. finallyhappy

      Damn I was going to start stamping Lobsters as OU-and now the gov't is going to stop me!

    2. BerkeleyBear

      Yep, that would be a false affiliation and your local kosher deli would be able to use the Lanham Act to sue the pants off any goy trying to label their pork lip tube sausages as kosher.

      1. Serolf_Divad

        "Pork lip tube sausages"… damn now you've gone and made me hungry all over again!

  9. flamingpdog

    And "Cantor weighs in on Limbaugh"? Really? There's a heavyweight mismatch if I ever saw one. Only way Cantor wins that one is if he rope-a-dopes Limpballs until Crush passes out from exhausiton.

        1. Negropolis

          It's funny, though, because every commercial I've ever seen of the company is advertising them straight to suburban office workers. lol

  10. FakaktaSouth

    When David "it's your chance to be your awful awful self and I'll make you look good" Gregory can't even help your dumb ass, you KNOW you're screwed. Just stick to short selling America, Eric. You'da thought they'd be smart enough to send in a R-uterus.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        Precisely! She perfectly sums up how crazy ANY chick has gotta be to suck, I mean, tow the line for these guys now.

  11. bumfug

    "My people were slaves 3000 years ago; we know persecution. Now give me your uterus, I've got plans for it."

    1. Chichikovovich

      Of course, back then causing a miscarriage would just get you a civil fine if the husband demanded it (Exodus 21:22-25) (unlike, say, gathering sticks on a Sunday, which got you death by stoning.)

        1. Chichikovovich

          Yes, there's a guy who hangs around our U going to seminars from time to time who is a very old-fashioned (and, in fact, very old) Dutch Calvinist originally from the west part of the state. He had been teaching the history of philosophy and religious doctrine at Wayne State and retired back to Grand Rapids or Holland MI, or wherever in the late seventies but found he really enjoyed talking to secular professor types more than anti-intellectual homeschoolers so he moved back to the heathen regions.He has a breathtaking knowledge of Scripture, so I love talking to him about what he knows.

          We've had some conversations about this passage – he's from the older days before Roe v. Wade made abortion the central topic of religious politics, and though he's personally anti-abortion, he finds the textual arguments for its prohibition forced and unconvincing. (Not surprising, since nobody thought there were such arguments until suddenly it became a political necessity to find them.) This passage is one of the principal reasons why he is dubious, combined with the general absence of much other mention of abortion or miscarriage. (Also, he always enjoys observing that many of the passages twisted into anti-abortion proof texts (like, for example, the " before ye were formed in the womb I knew ye" one – can't remember the chapter and verse numbers right now) would give arguments against abstinence as well, if they meant what they are being twisted into meaning.) He also pointed me in the direction of the literature you've unearthed, which is often impressive in its casuistical intricacy.

          1. bikerlaureate

            "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
            - Jer 1:5

        2. MosesInvests

          Jewish tradition has always held that life begins at birth, not before-and that is more narrowly defined as "head clearing the birth canal". Jewish law allows for abortion *during birth* if the pregnant woman's life is at stake (ex.-breech birth that can't be turned). Did I say allows? *Mandates* abortion in the case of danger to the woman. A fetus is not a human life under Jewish law-period. The legal status is that of part of the woman's body-you wouldn't amputate a limb for no good reason, but if you have a reason, you absolutely do it. If Cantor is saying anything different, he's either ignorant or lying through his teeth.

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      "My people were slaves 3000 years ago…"

      There's a deafening absence of historical evidence for the Egyptian enslavement and the Exodus. Not a scrap, not a hint of a mention, in anything from ancient Egypt. And if there's one ancient society that left a ton of crap behind, it's the Egyptians., who (with the curious omission of The Idiot's Guide to Pyramid Building) wrote down pretty much everything.

      1. MosesInvests

        OTOH, there is plenty of evidence for the massive enslavement of Jews by the Romans. In fact, after the conquest of Judea, the price of slaves all over the Empire was depressed for years by the glut of Jewish slaves on the market.
        BTW, most likely there was a small group of Hebrews (possibly the tribes of Levi and Ephraim-a lot of Egyptian names there) who were slaves in Egypt. Small enough not to be worth the attention of the Egyptian chroniclers.

        1. Biel_ze_Bubba

          True of the Romans … but they enslaved pretty much everybody they could get their mitts on. No oppression points for Cantor there.
          Israelites in Egypt were just one of many Semitic groups who moved in under the Hyksos. The all got booted out eventually … current thinking is that the expulsion got re-told as a liberation story. (Everybody was a winner, in their own histories.) The Egyptians may have enslaved a few, but it wasn't particularly systematic … and they're unlikely to have escaped in any substantial numbers.

  12. Callyson

    "…nobody's denying access–it's not about that…"
    NoCandor, it is *all* about denying access, you lying sack of shit…

  13. weej_bain

    Does the purportedly rational, backstabby but rational, Congressdouche Cantor really believe the Repug womynz will b'have in the voting booth if they keep up with this misogynistic meme? Even the oh so tightly-wrapped, daily-massed, Lady Peggyton Noonington is getting restless.

  14. JustPixelz

    But where's the part where Gingrich — five minutes earlier — said the problem with Limbaugh calling a woman a slut is that the media covers it.

  15. Callyson

    Also, snark off–excuse me, but the Obama administration rule still allows churches their religious freedom exemption–it's the religiously – affiliated hospitals and universities that are impacted. So, if the churches don't want to cover birth control, they can get out of those businesses and stick to the religion, and allow people who are getting an education or getting health care (from, in many cases, hospitals that started out as non – religious institutions in the first place) to exercise *their* religious freedom…
    Your faith does not entitle you to impose your religious beliefs outside the confines of your church and those who choose to attend it. And I for one thank God that *I* have the religious freedom to ignore those who would have it otherwise…

    1. Designer_Rants

      You're going WAY off message, Cantor. We're trying to convince everyone this is all about Obama fist-fucking estrogen pills into the Pope's ancient rectum, remember?

        1. Loaded_Pants

          It's so, so wrong. Because I'm convinced that the orifice that the Pope has in common with the rest of the human species is a mouth.

        2. Designer_Rants

          Kinks are okay as long as nobody gets hurt, right? Wait til you get your Crucifixion Room finished! I think your safety phrase should be (if you're taking suggestions) "Pope's ancient rectum".

          1. Chichikovovich

            Isn't the safety phrase supposed to be something you wouldn't say in the normal course of conversation?

        3. Designer_Rants

          BTW, I'm watching "60 Minutes" on the DVR and they just said that there used to be so many priests ordained in Dublin that they were one of their main exports. Last year zero priests were ordained in Dublin. This year only one is planned to be. uh, and now my DVR just autotuned to fucking "Celebrity Apprentice"?? What is my wife thinking? Anyway, Ireland's sick of the child-fucking.

          1. Chichikovovich

            Young Dublin men are going into the one Irish business that is experiencing explosive growth: Holy relic theft.

          2. Biff

            I thought their options were limited to the priesthood or law enforcement? And potato farming, of course.

    2. memzilla

      By Rethuglican logic, of course, Dog help you if your boss is a Christian Scientist, who could thereby deny you all visits to a doctor on the grounds that it violates his religious beliefs. Howcome nobody has made this parallel?

      1. snoopyfan2010

        Because that would make too much sense. And it would be fun to see people get angry when it actually happens.

        1. horsedreamer_1

          James Hetfield lost his mother to her faith in Christ, Scientist. Maybe he could wake up the GOP with a rousing "One", then. For the troops.

    3. BerkeleyBear

      Or they can stay in those businesses and get out of the hoovering up Federal money aspect of the business. Of course, the Catholic Church huffs and puffs and acts like they are going to stop doing anything every time someone passes a non-discrimination bill (see child services in DC). The real answer would be to say fine, we'll just make this slight tweak to the tax code, since you aren't helping the entire population, and then as long as you take no Fed dollars you can do as you please – but no, let's not actually make the tax exemptions push good policies.

    4. BarackMyWorld

      No, I'm pretty sure this debate is because Obama wants the Catholic Church to hand out abortion pills during communion.

      1. BerkeleyBear

        Everyone who saw him at that Britney Spears concert "fundraising" a couple years ago.

  16. JustPixelz

    "I think it is the height of insensitivity, and unreasonableness to allow for the construction of a mosque on the site of the World Trade Center bombings." — Eric Cantor on religious liberty, Aug 12, 2010

      1. BerkeleyBear

        And Eric should know after the C Street members gave him a wedgie, swirlie and two purple nerples for not praising Jesus on the floor of the House.

  17. WinterOuthouse

    Do you think his asshole gets jealous when all that shit comes out of his mouth?

  18. Texan_Bulldog

    I'm not sure if calling David Gregory a 'journalist' passes muster. I think 'obsequious know nothing pander bear' is probably more appropriate. But hey, even a blind squirrel gets a nut every once in awhile.

      1. anniegetyerfun

        "Pander Bear" is what we calls them in Alabama!

        Seriously, though, someone needs to create a pander bear image.

        1. Designer_Rants

          Any suggestions on what physical characteristics a pander bear's face would have? Like maybe it would have one half white and the other black, like a yin-yang, to signify that he'll say one thing outta one side of his mouth, the complete opposite thing outta the other side?

          1. anniegetyerfun

            That's even deeper than I was considering. I just figured a really stupid looking panda, with a mouth partly open and a sycophantic/overly eager expression.

  19. JustPixelz

    "Those Islamists and their apologists who argue for 'religious toleration' are arrogantly dishonest," — Newt Gingrich about the so-called "ground zero mosque".

  20. JustPixelz

    "This is not whether it's a legal right to do it. People have legal rights to do a lot of things in this country." [The imam is] "ignoring the will of the American public, as by the way, Barack Obama is by siding with him," — Rick Santorum commenting on the so-called "ground zero mosque", Aug 2010.

  21. C_R_Eature

    Eric Cantor is an Acanthonus armatus, In My Humble Opinion.

    And David Gregory is no fucking journalist, unless the new definition of "Journalist" = "Disgracefully Obsequious overpaid stenographer and Wine Sucking Toady".

    1. BlueStateLibel

      Corrupt tyrants and GOPeers could actually use some birth control themselves to regulate their obviously out-of-control hormones and weepiness.

    2. not that Dewey

      Amid cries of widespread voter fraud, the former-KGB boss assures us that the election was fair.

      This Guardian article about the alleged electoral fraud invokes Benford's law, which is one of my favorite fraud-detection algorithms. When people create phony numbers, they tend to uniformly distribute the first digit among 0 – 9, when in practice, numbers tend to follow a logarithmic distribution of first digits.

    3. miss_grundy

      And show up shirtless somewhere so that someone can take his picture and show him to be a m-a-n. It doesn't take much to help the Ruskies be happy.

    1. proudgrampa

      O would that we could go back to simpler times…

      Whatever happened to Kortney and her vegetables? She had nice casabas…

          1. C_R_Eature

            "For a pretty presentation, I like to stencil each with Georgia O'keefe flower patterns. Ferns and baby's breath add interest. Of course I select the largest one out, for myself."
            – Martha Stewart's Erotic Garden

    1. NYNYNYjr

      I love all these administrative deletions. Then you try to figure it out from the comments below. It's a brain teaser.

  22. Designer_Rants

    Even though Paul Ryan hates America way more than DixieJew, he's been laying low ever since lucid- to only half-senile olds found out how much dripping loathing he has for them and their medical/financial situations.

  23. sharethegrief

    The Catholic Church practicing their faith has left a trail of victims since the Inquisition. I would think that generations of boys having their lives scarred would cause the church to nurture some humility instead of wrapping themselves in a Kevlar blanket of persecution.

      1. NYNYNYjr

        Yeah, the body count skyrocketed 1000 years before the inqu. when the catholic church blended with Emperor Constantine.

  24. Beowoof

    Like most at NBC these days, David Gregory will not ask any questions that piss off his conservative overlords at GE and Comcast. That being said I can see where maybe he has been directed to stand up to Cantor as there are many women out there who make decisions on whether cable will be on in their home.

    1. Designer_Rants

      I don't think I'm just doing that selective nostalgia thing when I remember Tim Russert as being SO MUCH LESS full of shit than David Gregory is. I watch MTP maybe once every 2 months now, where it used to be my Sunday morning ritual (yeah, not a Churchie).

      1. Beowoof

        I was always a fan of Tim, but he was a Buffalo guy and that is where I grew up. Wolf Blitzer is from Buffalo but is a giant douche bag.

  25. Gainsbourg69

    In the next segment with Debbie Wasserman, young David was falling over himself to frame the republican war on women as a rational argument about religious freedom. Fuck him.

      1. flamingpdog

        I will always sit in awe of teh Wonketeers who have to cojones to go over to Red State and Yahoo and read the comments there. I can barely stand the few I still see on Facebook.

        1. Negropolis

          That would be ridiculously awesome. She'd be breaking news eery single Sunday, as she's excellent in her talent to pull the full-on crazy out of evasive crazies, and to get them to do her show in the first place. Only the most cunning people are able to evade her show, entirely.

          1. Gainsbourg69

            The woman is incredibly smart and she doesn't put up with spin or half assed talking points. The odds of her becoming moderator of MTP are slim to none. It's a shame because she's perhaps one of the best educated pundits in the country.

          2. BigRadio

            She delaminated Rand Paul that one night. His pitiful performance scared all the other teabagger types away.

  26. C_R_Eature

    OT, but: I seem to remember some story on Friday about some Douchebag dying.
    Does anyone else remember that? No?
    Ahhh, never mind. It was probably nobody important.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Though according to the newspapers and left-leaning blogs, he was really a great guy to hang around with. Warm and loving.

      1. C_R_Eature

        Naaah, that's' not the one. The one I'm thinking of was a talentless hack Corporate tool who specialized in angry public tirades, ratfucking perceived enemies and hiring embarrassingly inept henchmen to engage in covert character assassination of innocent private citizens, for profit.
        Still nothing? No, me neither.

        1. BlueStateLibel

          I'm confused, because there was also the overthrow of the old guard at Wonkette at about the same time… someone got it, not sure who.

          1. C_R_Eature

            That's a trend I've noticed here at Wonkette. Things slip on the weekend: news items get lost, Trolls invade and Friday stories Mutate into 2000+ post nightmares due to Editorial Neglect. I blame distilled spirits.

          2. Chichikovovich

            I guess weekend posting is the Wonkette equivalent of gunshots at the presidential palace and only patriotic music on the radio and TV for a few days.

          3. Chichikovovich

            I'm pretty sure we are all doing the first and none of us is doing the second.

          4. fuflans

            well certainly i have to follow you for that posting.

            i am a whore for depp references.

      2. flamingpdog

        Yeah, I saw that, too, Chick, even from notorious sarcasm-bondage mistress Benincasa on her Facebook page. I think maybe it's the "pdog's first boss" syndrome. People in the profession that knew him only socially or from professional conferences found him garrulous and affable. The many who actually worked for him and saw on an everyday basis what an obnoxious, alcohol-brain-damaged, gold-bricking, sexual harrassment artist he was thought majorly otherwise.

        1. Loaded_Pants

          Much like my partner's father who, to everyone who didn't have to live with him, seemed like such a wonderful & witty raconteur who would only have a "couple" of drinks each evening.

    2. proudgrampa

      "The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here…"

      Internet fame is fleeting.

    3. redarmyzombie

      You know, it occurred to me that despite how much we may have disliked him, he was still a human being with a family of his own, and for that we should give him a moment of silence, if we may…

      …Well, that should do it! Now, who wants to hear the one about Breitbart and the goat on Viagra?

  27. Arken

    "In any case, Eric Cantor knows a loser when he sees one, in the mirror."

    If that were true, we wouldn't have a problem.

  28. SheriffRoscoe

    That post is so chock full of lulz and WIN. I am officially in love with our new Editrix.

  29. Chichikovovich

    Cantor, Blunt, Issa and all the other Republican hacks: you say "this is not about contraception, this is about religious freedom". Here is some elementary thinking for you. (Don't strain your pineal gland.)

    a) Everyone (or as close to everyone as any political proposition ever gets – I'll omit this qualification from now on but it will be tacit) agrees that religions are afforded exceptionally broad latitude by the Constitution for conscientious objections, and that this is appropriate in a tolerant society. Quakers don't need to swear an oath, but only attest (or whatever the category of "not swearing an oath" is that Quakers do). Jehovah's witnesses don't salute flags. The most authoritarian and capricious authority in the country (the NCAA) allows Mormons an exception to eligibility limits for their two year missions. And, of course, Churches are tax-exempt, even when they engage in flagrant political activity. And so on….

    b) Everyone agrees there are limits. The Catholic Church does not have licence to handle all child molestation cases internally, and they are not exempt from civil suits or bankruptcy rules. The Supreme Court has held that Native Americans who use peyote in their religious rituals (protected, up to a point) are not exempt from being fired from their jobs for showing up high on that peyote. Nobody would defend an organization who would only offer insurance coverage for hospitals that segregated men and women in separate buildings. And, of course, there are those people (not me, I hasten to add, but perhaps you know some) who urge significant restrictions on where mosques can be constructed. And so on….

    So look: everybody, — everybody! — agrees on the principle: Wide latitude to religion, but it's not absolute. Exceptions have to be evaluated on a case by case basis. So that's the question: is denying birth control coverage an acceptable demand for the Catholic Church to enforce on the employees of its affiliate organizations? The principle of broad latitude for exceptions arising from religious doctrine is not at issue, because everybody agrees about that. The question is about whether birth control coverage is reasonably denied on these grounds. It is about birth control, not about a principle that everyone agrees about.

    But thanks for playing.

    1. C_R_Eature

      There you go again, confusing people with all your Facts N' Stuff when the Nice Republicans are trying to stimulate their amygdala.
      Shame on you.

      1. BigRadio

        Dok, I was scared for a second it was another link drop into the freeper cesspool. Phew, between Chich's remarks and Stewart's assault, can't we put this nonsense to rest? Oh wait, it's hurting the GOP, right??!?

    2. BlueStateLibel

      The other thing is, requiring an insurance company to pay for birth control, essentially making birth control an option, is not the same thing as forcing people to use it. Catholics stress the importance of Free Will, the Christian is supposed to go through life making free choices, not being forced to do certain things, and not being shielded from choice. Also, Republicans suck.

      1. Chichikovovich

        Well, yeah. But it was in one of those foreign countries where the universities are just worthless indoctrination centres in socialism. I only learned how to read and write from smuggled Bibles.—

    3. Chet Kincaid

      It's got nothing to do with "thinking" — Eric Cantor doesn't give a shit. Did you see the way that asshole sat there and stonewalled with bullshit talking points over and over again? This is all a game to him. Obama's compromise solution was good, right, and perfectly in line with religious freedom. You could interview fucking Eric Cantor on TV all day and night and he would never acknowledge that.

    4. anniegetyerfun

      You DO realize that the President is not completely white, don't you? That nullifies everything.

  30. Doktor Zoom

    "Refusing to include in an insurance plan" is totally different from "Denying access."

    This is a good word game! Give me another one, because I missed Will Shortz on Weekend Edition this morning.

  31. C_R_Eature

    I'm just content, for now, to sit back and watch them fuck themselves up on Teevee. For now.

  32. ttommyunger

    Nice try, Rebecca, but after studiously avoiding all the bloviation on the Sunday Gas Bag Shows you think I'm going to watch a "Smirk-Off" between two of the most dishonest and unwholesome fucks on the backside of our political landscape? Nope! Not gonna do it! Not at this juncture. Wouldn't be prudent; nope, not gonna do it.

  33. Doktor Zoom

    Does Eric Cantor's government-paid health insurance cover contraception?

    If so, I believe it's only fair to ask him to post sex tapes online, which would probably lead many to become permanently abstinent.

  34. paris biltong

    Just had what I thought a rather innocent if not extremely witty comment deleted by the administrator.

    1. Chichikovovich

      J' en ai perdu un aussi, il ya cinq jours. Nous devons commencer à écrire dans une langue inconnue chez les Américains.

      1. C_R_Eature

        Mon aéroglisseur est plein des anguilles. Mes tétons exploser avec plaisir!
        Attendez! il ya quelque chose de mal avec mon traducteur! Merde!

          1. C_R_Eature

            Si je dit que vous aviez un beau corps, tiendriez-vous contre moi? I. .. Je ne suis plus infecté.

            Pas un francophile – J'adore Google Translate!

      2. flamingpdog

        Won't work for long. Patrick Stewart said "Merde!" on the bridge of the Enterprise on the premier episode of The Next Generation, and never said it again in the series' seven-year run. The censors obviously didn't know French, but one or more horrified viewers rat-finked on him.

        1. Chichikovovich

          Tämä huomio oli oikeastaan ​​aika hauska. Oliko se joka sai poistettu? {Olen varma, kielioppi osoittaa, että tämä on Google kääntää tuotanto)

          1. paris biltong

            Basta! E troppo è troppo. I can't even remember the original entry, which wasn't very clever of anything. Thanks for you help a support. Down with censorship!

          1. Guppy

            And if her name were "Runderkopf," her stewardship here would be the fulfillment of destiny.

          2. flamingpdog

            Schoenbrust, too, also.

            And no, I don't know any German except what I learned from "Hogan's Heroes" on the TeeVee.

          3. BigRadio

            As I pointed out the other day Chich. I also hoped that Rebecca meant "giving." And she has proved it this weekend.

    1. Chet Kincaid

      It's about time, the Internet don't stop between Friday and Monday. And we're gonna comment anyway, so great, now I don't have to try to read 3,000 comments on one post.

      1. Guppy

        The problem with weekend stories is that they lead to the delusion that our editors care

  35. Rotundo_

    Ryan is trying to fly under the radar, since many of the people in his district are in deep shit economically with the GM plant closing. All of this Randian masturbation doesn't sell to well to people who are one or two payments away from out on their ass. Either of them would look fabulous taking a baseball bat to the mouth however.

  36. avsutton

    So I earnestly read this whole thing, including all the comments, while thinking of pithy librull girl-replies (mostly consisting of "Fuck The Republicans!"), when I read a comment which used a big long Latin word. Since that made me feel stupid, I googled the aforesaid big long Latin word…

    "Bony-eared assfish."

    WIN.

  37. Rotundo_

    "Hero Journalist"? David Gregory? David may not have responded to Cantor's "Hey Homes' we're a minority too!" bullshit but he still isn't fit to be Murrows' urinal cake as a journo. As for Cantor, regardless of what faith he supposedly adheres to, the man is shit upholstered in skin, along with Boehner McConnell and the rest of that lot.

  38. Rotundo_

    By the way, Thanks Beckster, for the morsels over the weekend to chew on. There are moments when we need to vent and it is on a Sunday. Best wishes on your newfound burden as den mother of the asylum.

  39. Limeylizzie

    I cannot wait for our live blogging of the Super Tuesday fuckfestival with our new overlady.

    1. C_R_Eature

      I like to think of it as the "Wonkette Lightning Round Slag the Unworthy and Group Drunk Super Tuesday fuckfestival" and I'm looking forward to it also.

      1. flamingpdog

        Needz moar wordz that start with a vowel so we can make a bumper sticker acronym outta it.

        1. C_R_Eature

          Good idea! I'll run right out and buy some.

          EDIT: and, the acronym, it goes without saying, should be Rude.

  40. Wadisay

    Luntz would describe what the Republicans are now doing to their party as "gender cleansing."

      1. Monsieur_Grumpe

        I have the feeling that if Cantor's wife cut him off from sex for all this bullshit it wouldn't make any difference.

        1. Loaded_Pants

          Supposedly she is all for marriage equality & is pro-choice. But she is also on the board of Media General (which is why you will not see a editorial in the Richmond Times-Dishrag criticizing him).
          But I have heard rumors that she is just as slimy & loathsome as he is.
          They have 3 children but I suspect they were not products of actual genital contact.
          I think the closest that Eric & Diana ever came to having sex was hissing at each other whenever they met in the hallways of their McMansion.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Well played.

      I was actually concerned, when I first saw this headline, that Eric Cantor was sincerely puzzled by the word "womyn" and had to have the concept explained to him. on air. Then I had massive flashbacks to my time at Mount Holyoke, and had to curl up in a ball and sob a little.

    1. C_R_Eature

      When I saw those photo ads, I immediately linked "Manhattan Mini Storage" with "Meat Garage" in my mind. Am I a Bad Person?

  41. C_R_Eature

    I'm sure that all this public talk about Birth Control and Sluts and uteruses and vaginal probes is going to overstimulate some barely repressed Republican Luminary into a bizarre, grotesque and apallingly vile sex scandal.
    It's got to happen. The real question is, who will crack first? Santorum? Gingrich? Bachmann (either one)? Virginia Foxx?

      1. Negropolis

        I have this terrifying image in my head of her head rolling in rhythm as her bad eye keeps getting bonked against the side of her head.

          1. C_R_Eature

            Urgh! Skullfucking Virginia Foxx! *Retch*

            (Brightly) Well, at least they won't need Birth Control for that!

  42. BarackMyWorld

    Ok, I have no interest in watching the video (though I do recommend this one, once you get passed all the Andrea Mitchell ass-kissing).

    Anyone want to do me a solid and write a two-sentence recap of what Cantor said about AM radio's preeminent bag of brain-farts in bloated human form?

    1. C_R_Eature

      OK. I'll give it a shot:

      CANTOR: Bullshit. BullshitBullshitBullshit. BullshitBullshit. Bullshit,BullshitBullshitBullshitBullshit. BullshitBullshit – BullshitBullshitBullshitBullshit! Bullshit:BullshitBullshitBullshit (Bullshit) BullshitBullshitBullshit. Bullshit.

      How was that?

        1. C_R_Eature

          Sorry, I'm a reflexive smartass.

          Cantor links Judaism and Catholicism to each other by labeling them both as "Minority Faiths" hews to the meme that the Admin's rule tells religions what to believe and do and tries to finesse the exemption by saying religious charities by definition are about "philanthropy and charity for all", don't just serve people of one religion (which would trip the exemption) and bizarrely maintains that Mitt Romney as president would lead to less moral confusion about religion.
          Gregory tries to get Cantor to comment about the real question of access to contraception by asking him how he feels about women's views that the conflict's about reproductive rights, rights for women and Cantor just sidesteps, flatly denies that and returns to prefab Talking points.

          Yeah, I'm Wordy.

          1. MadBrahms

            Roman Catholics are the single largest denomination in the US, so yeah, "minority faith".

          2. C_R_Eature

            Yeah, so marginalized and oppressed. Sheesh.

            Also noted that I painstakingly commented on the wrong video but I'm too crushed to rectify the situation. You're up!

          3. flamingpdog

            I'm glad you explained that for BMW. I listened to it, but I couldn't help him because all I heard was the adults from Peanuts TV specials.

  43. DCBloom

    In other news….. Patricia Heaton went on a vile rant about Fluke on Twitter.
    She got so much heat she had to close her account.
    I never watched her show anyway, but now I'll double not watch it.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Excellent. I didn't even know she had a show, and I wouldn't have watched it if I had known. But now I'm not watching it on principle. It's a matter of the dictates of my moral conscience.

      1. starfanglednut

        "But now I'm not watching it on principle. It's a matter of the dictates of my moral conscience."

        Which means, of course, that you're entitled to tell other people not to watch it as well.

    2. anniegetyerfun

      Is anyone covering it? I assumed someone was tracking idiot celebs who have to close their accounts, but I can't find any record of that.

      She's such a twit.

      1. Loaded_Pants

        I'm all for idiot celebs closing their twitter accounts. I don't even care what their politics are.

    3. Jukesgrrl

      She's hideous. In spite of a prodigious amount of plastic surgery, even by Hollywood standards. Unfortunately, intelligence isn't brought on by Botox.

    4. MosesInvests

      Sheesh, she's a wingnut? Damn, that's disappointing. I always thought she was attractive, but this just uglifies her to me.

    5. Negropolis

      Used to see her on the late-night shows, and she always seemed funny and pleasant and clever. I think she's from Ohio, so I figured she was a Midwest girl that had gone and made it good in TV and maintained a normalness about her just becauseof who she was. Then, I remember hearing about a year or two ago that she was a Republican, but still just assumed that it was the kind of Republicanism she got from growing up where she did; nothing crazy, though, still lowered my view of her. And, then I hear this and other stuff more recently, and it's clear that she's a nuttter. I just never get how you can work in the business that she does — having to deal with all types of people from every background — and still go/maintain full-nuttery.

    6. Biff

      Oh, for fuck's sake. I didn't know who she was, so I googled her. Turns out I've never watched any of her shows or movies. Her wikipedia page showed her and Jim Caviezel involved in something or another, and I do watch his show "Person of Interest". His wiki said he contributed the max to santorum in '06. Jesus Christ…

      1. Negropolis

        Did you forget that he played Jesus in Passion of the Christ for Mel Gibson? Jim is practically a Wahhabi Catholic, and has been for years.

        1. Biff

          Didn't forget, I never knew. I don't get out much, and the closest I've lived to a theater the last 10 years is 65 miles.

      1. prommie

        Its cheap revenge fantasy, but boy was it effective, I wanted to stand up and cheer at the end.

      2. prommie

        And who has been deleting shit around here? What is going on up in this beeyotch, is what I needs to know? Are there now "lines" and "boundaries" which cannot be crossed? Whatever happened to anarchy? Is it still arlright to say "I'd love to see Cantor slowly fucked in the eye-socket by a specially-built, 100-amp, stainless steel, spiked and barbed Rabbit vibrator, with the little clit-wiggler gouging at his other eye?" is that ok?

          1. DaRooster

            I have yet to see 2 comments deleted for what ever was mentioned…

            except that one ret@rded time…

          2. prommie

            Fucking hyper-sensitive retards are such faggots; they oughta lighten up, for fuck's sake.

  44. Wadisay

    I suppose describing the repression of women as "male enhancement" would be a little too obvious, even for Luntz.

  45. Barb

    From George Will:
    Mr. Boehner comes out and says, Rush's language was inappropriate. Using a salad fork for your entree, that's inappropriate. Not this stuff… And it was depressing, because what it indicates is that the Republican leaders are afraid of Rush Limbaugh. They want to bomb Iran, but they're afraid of Rush Limbaugh.

    1. BigRadio

      Boner, the misnomer, has slightly more balls than Pussy Mitts and his Churchillian Chinchillian statement:
      "'ll just say this, which is, it's not the language I would have used."

    2. anniegetyerfun

      Remember, killing people with slightly darker skin, using bombs, is about freedom. NEVAR FORGIT.

      1. flamingpdog

        George Will is a total twit, but he lerves his Republican Party, and he's bright enough to see it swirling in the toilet bowl.

  46. DahBoner

    Now can you explain to the old gold miner guy why you can't call them wimmins, either?

  47. Negropolis

    Oh, so all of a sudden Cantor decides he wants to be a Jew, again, because, well, Catholic church, blah, blah, blah.

    As much as I want to see Boehner swept from his Speaker's seat, nothing would make me happier than to see Cantor lose what he so badly wants.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Deep down inside Boehner knows what an abject failure he is. I can't say the same for either Cantor or Ryan, who still fantasize they have leadership abilities. So I scorn them. I just laugh at Boehner.

      1. Negropolis

        Yeah, it's is very obvious Boehner realizes that he took over the speakership at entirely the wrong time, or even that he realizes that he's a second-string politician, at best.

        Cantor is just straight up delusional in the worst way. It's why it's so much more gratifying to see him fail. There is no self-awareness, there.

  48. DCBloom

    Michael Moore just tweeted this:
    Rush – As soon as U started losing the big $$ from your hate speech, you caved & obeyed the men who pay U. Who's the prostitute now, bitch.

    1. Barb

      Great post! I am reading Michael Moore's book now. My bestie, Bill sent it to me and I felt obligated to read it in case there was a pop quiz later or something. He gave me a $20.00 gift card to Taco Bell as a bookmark, lol. I'm enjoying the book.

  49. Jukesgrrl

    Lobbyists don't usually seem to have trouble getting the government to do their bidding. I can only presume that Hadassah Lieberman and other operators for BigDrug, RichDrs, and HighBlueUnitedWellHumana are spinning like tops today trying to figure out a way to look like they care about religious freedom while simultaneously making the largest profit possible and not insulting Rush Limbaugh. It's hard out there for a pimp.

  50. Negropolis

    BTW, as if it keeps needing to be repeated…when you do business in an officially secular nation, in your capacity as businesses you will held to secular law. It's just that simple. You don't want to provide healthcare that provides birth control? Well, here's the compromise: stay the fuck out of doing business, or don't provide healthcare. Sorry to be so harsh, but this is not a controversy, and I'm tired of the media continuing to pretend that it is.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      It's sort of like pharmacists who refuse to fill certain prescriptions. My thoughts on this are, look, either you provide the health care that people want and need, or you don't get to practice the profession.

      I posted something similar under my real name the other day online – it's probably only a matter of time before the hate mail starts rolling in.

    2. BigRadio

      It's hilarious, and of course never called out by the MSM, when Newt says we are on the road to becoming a secular nation. Thanks to Obama and those liberal Founding Fathers hate groups du jour.

    3. glamourdammerung

      This has been policy for about ten years now, so yeah it is totally a made up "controversary". And I am sorry, but churches abusing tax exemptions with for-profit businesses should have been ended a long time ago.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        Many cities in the U.S. would be in a much-improved financial situation if churches paid only property taxes, let alone the same taxes businesses are required to pay. My bet is Scientology would immediately cease being a religion, not to mention some of the megachurches that are really just social clubs for money-grubbing dicks and their spouses who need friends.

  51. Negropolis

    I love how hate for Obama is pulling together almost all of the faiths. Now, conservative Jews, Catholics and Protestants are around the fire singing the most disingenuous version of kumbaya evah.

          1. flamingpdog

            Only 199 days (really, I counted them) until the next International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

          2. C_R_Eature

            Aye, that be me favoritest holiday ever but I can never seem t' be able t' wait a whole year, ye scurvy scum! Yarrr, and now the Rhum is all gone! Blast!

    1. glamourdammerung

      Nothing quite like the scumbags going on and on about how President Obama wants to do all this horrible made up nonsense and then make some comment about how he is the "most divisive president ever" out the other side of their lying mouths.

    2. MadBrahms

      For what it's worth, all the actual Catholics I know, including my family, think this whole thing is utterly ridiculous. Of course, my lower capacity for cognitive dissonance is why I left so long ago. How anyone can stick around while the hierarchy has their heads that far up their asses / in other people's vaginas is beyond me.

      1. Negropolis

        That's good, but it does seem like the Republican Party is cleaving off ever larger chunks of conservative Catholics from the main fold. When I typed "conservative", it is meant to quality all subsequent sects and religions I mentioned directly afterwards (i.e. conservative Jews, conservative Catholics, etc…)

      2. C_R_Eature

        I'd honestly like to see he Catholic Hierarchy concentrate more on such matters of conscience as the opposition to the Death Penalty, opposing Wars of Choice, Genocide, opposing proliferation of nuclear weaponry, economic inequality, starvation, environmental devastation, global anthropogenic climate change, and that minor, persistent issue of child rape within the church.
        I'd like them to stay out of matters they just don't understand, like women's vaginas.

    3. Chet Kincaid

      I was going to snark about how American Muslims should join this grand coalition, in order to fuck with the wingnuts' heads. But then I wiki'd the Islamic position on these matters, and will have to applaud their enlightenment on this stuff, despite their other backwards views:

      Muslim views on abortion are shaped by the Quran and Hadith as well as by the opinions of legal and religious scholars and commentators. In Islam, the fetus is believed to become a living soul after four months of gestation,[1] and abortion after that point is generally viewed as impermissible. Many Islamic thinkers recognize exceptions to this rule for certain circumstances; indeed, Azizah Y. al-Hibri notes that "the majority of Muslim scholars permit abortion, although they differ on the stage of fetal development beyond which it becomes prohibited."[2] According to Sherman Jackson, "while abortion, even during the first trimester, is forbidden according to a minority of jurists, it is not held to be an offense for which there are criminal or even civil sanctions. On this understanding, Muslim-Americans who oppose abortion should assiduously limit their activism to the moral sphere and avoid supporting positions that favor the imposition of criminal or civil sanctions in an area into which Islamic law itself never contemplated injecting these."[3]
      ….
      The Qur'an does not make any explicit statements about the morality of contraception, but contains statements encouraging procreation. The prophet Muhammad also is reported to have said "marry and procreate".[13]
      Coitus interruptus, a primitive form of birth control, was a known practice at the time of Muhammad, and his companions engaged in it. Muhammad knew about this, but did not prohibit it. Umar and Ali, the second and fourth of the Rashidun caliphs, respectively, defended the practice.[13]
      Muslims scholars have extended the example of coitus interruptus, by analogy, to declaring permissible other forms of contraception, subject to three conditions:[13][14]
      As offspring are the right of both the husband and the wife, the birth control method should be used with both parties' consent.
      The method should not cause permanent sterility.
      The method should not otherwise harm the body.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam_and_abortion
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_views_on_b

      Changing my name to Chet X!

      1. Fukui-sanYesOta

        You inspired me to look up the laws in Iran, to see how they compare with what the US would be like under Pope Santorum I

        Abortion in Iran has been the subject of controversy for many years.In 1978 abortion was first legalized. In April 2005, the Iranian Parliament approved a new bill easing the conditions by also allowing abortion in certain cases when the foetus shows signs of handicap, and the Council of Guardians accepted the bill in 15/june/2005. Legal abortion is now allowed if the mother's life is in danger,and also in cases of fetal abnormalities that makes it not viable after birth (such as anencephaly) or produce difficulties for mother to take care of it after birth, such as major thalassemia or bilateral polycystic kidney disease.There is no need for a consent from the father and request and consent of mother with approval of three specialist physicians and final acceptance by legal medicine center suffices.Legal abortion is allowed only before 19th week of pregnancy.

        Seems Iran is more progressive than Ricky al-Buttfroth.

  52. user-of-owls

    Every time I see this miserable fucking filthyweasel I want mightily to bemute him.

    1. MosesInvests

      There's an acronym in the Israeli Army (which has acronyms for everything)-PaDaM. Short for Partzuf Doresh Makkot-"a face asking to get hit". Cantor's got one-he's the guy who would get the blanket treatment every night in Basic Training.

      1. BigRadio

        I always thought that was turtling, but, of course, we'll reserve that for McTurtle on the other side of the cameral.

  53. Designer_Rants

    I wonder about these DailyKos blogs sometimes, but this one got me pissed: http://bit.ly/xAfd7L It's about a 16yr old girl who has to take a BC pill because she has horrible cycles otherwise, and now the girls at school are calling her a slut because one of their moms listens to Rush.

    Then in that post there's a link to one of those "We The People" White house petitions to get Rush removed from "Armed Forces Radio," which I didn't even know was a thing, let alone a tax payer funded thing? And blasting hate-speech radio no less? Fuckers always trying to kill my beloved NPR and PBS and never even mentioned THIS deal? So here's the link: http://wh.gov/X1O I've noticed about a thousand extra sigs on it since I signed it a couple hours ago, which is way better than most of them do (and it's not even about weed!)… maybe something comes of it. Please sign if you're so inclined.

  54. FlipOffResearch

    OK it's OT but it's been bugging me.

    Dear Miss new Wonkette overlord: the past Wonkette was loathe to report on Israeli, lets just say, shenanigans. As Israel tries to suck us into another ill-advised war I hope you will take a more even handed approach.

    It is my understanding that Iran is in compliance with the nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. It is also my understanding that the state of Israel is not.

    Israel's belligerent stance towards Iran's legal nuclear research has caused the price of gas to rise. Thus risking our already weak economic recovery.

    Umm, how come no news source is pointing this out?
    .

    1. paris biltong

      Are you implying that Wonkette is a news source? Afraid you're confusing us with someone else.

    2. Fukui-sanYesOta

      Israel's belligerent stance towards Iran's legal nuclear research has caused the price of gas to rise.

      Eh? No, it was Chelsea sacking Villas-Boas which is doing that.

    1. paris biltong

      I've already made my pun concerning this a few hours ago.
      My own deleted entry contained two not common and possibly objectionable (?) words (it did not speak to the matter of mental handicaps), one of which is Islamic law (by its transcribed Arabic term) and the other the Islamic equivalent of "kosher".
      Being somewhat suspicious by nature, I am wondering if this was not so much the doing of our new editrix as of some higher power intent on censoring all things Muslim.

      1. not that Dewey

        Did it involve "halaligagging"?

        Paradoxically, it would be interesting to see posted a list of the words that will result in administrative deletions.

  55. poncho_pilot

    wow. currently residing in the "where are they now?" file, two Spinal Tap references in one weekend.

  56. C_R_Eature

    OK, my reply to a post upthread by TundraGrifter (thanks, TG!) set me off. It should be obvious, IMHO, that the position the Catholic Hierarchy have taken regarding contraception and abortion has very little to do with moral stands and everything to do with religious institutions exercising operational control over secular governance, society and people's lives.
    How do I know this? American Catholic politicians are routinely denied, and threatened with denial of, Communion for their beliefs and votes on Abortion and now Contraception.
    Fine. Moral stance and Moral Relativism is not our thing.
    However, when was the last time (or any time ever) that any politician anywhere has been denied Communion due a vote on the State Sanctioned Death penalty? Support of corporations who have been proven to have wiped out whole indigenous populations to get to resources? Votes for Wars of Choice? Support for weapons systems which, if ever used, would destroy civilization and sterilize vast areas of what they refer to as God's Creation?
    I could be wrong, in my analysis. Someone let me know, if so.

    Sorry, just can't find the funny in this right now.

    1. paris biltong

      If you're suggesting that organized religion's forays into politics have been misguided, self-serving, opportunistic and cynical and that they reflect the corrupt and power-seeking nature of church hierarchies, then yes, you are most likely correct. However, you are not exactly the first person in the past three or four millennia to point that out.

      1. Chichikovovich

        Ben oui, but in CRE's defence, [as the Republicans show us time and time again] some points can't be repeated often enough. American priests and bishops have just fallen in love with the whole "deny communion" tactic. So it should constantly be put to them that they only do it to people in a certain wedge of the political spectrum.

        Keeping with this theme of "say it over and over again until the words wear out" , I'll repeat something I've said in different ways a couple of times over the last few weeks. There have been many dictators in the last century – including in recent decades – that were not only "good Catholics" but actually endorsed and supported by the Catholic heirarchy as bringing back the values of "travail, famille, patrie" or local equivalent, while they were arbitrarily arresting, torturing and killing thousands of political opponents (in some cases torturing and killing left-wing priests or nuns) and even in some cases assisting with genocide (Pétain) and in other cases energetically initiating it and carrying it out (Ante Pavelić). And I've never heard of any of these good Catholics being denied communion, or being threatened with excommunication, or any of that (true, I haven't devoted a lot of time to this, so I may be unaware of one or another Church action): Marshal Pétain, Ante Pavelić, Franco, Pinochet, the blood-soaked Argentine Junta during the late 1970s and early 1980s that was wholeheartedly supported by Catholic conservative organizations, Antonio Salazar (who had studied in seminary for years in preparation for the priesthood) Msgr. Jozef Tiso, the head of the Nazi puppet regime in Slovakia, who actually was a priest, and after his war crimes trial chose to be hanged in his clerical outfit, … This is a partial list – I could go on for pages, but who has that kind of time?

        To repeat: None of these people, so far as I have been able to ascertain were ever excommunicated or denied communion. On the other hand, an American in a loving lesbian relationship at her own mother's funeral – well, the Church is 100% on board with the denial of communion in that case. Being a lesbian is, in the Church's eyes, worse than (say) "disappearing", torturing and killing a 17 year old Swedish girl, in Argentina as an exchange student, who did nothing but be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

        1. C_R_Eature

          A cogent, well sourced and comprehensive commentary, as usual and many thanks for backstopping me this time, Big C.
          This was a thing I just had to get written down this morning and It irritates me no end that we have to keep on re-illustrating the same concepts, year after year. It must be done, though – Exhibit A is the tone of the media coverage of the Religious hierarchy's position and the fact that the aforementioned points never seem to come up.

  57. cheetojeebus

    Dear Wonkette,
    Waking up on Monday morning and nibbling on the weekend's pizza crust that got left on the coffee table, metaphorically, is gettin' old.
    grumpy cheeto

  58. Tundra Grifter

    "It’s a fine line between clever and stupid…"

    Not for the GNoPee. They don't do subtle and nuance.

    Their "fine line" is an eight-lane freeway.

Comments are closed.