WINGER TANGO  9:39 pm March 3, 2012

Wyoming On ‘The Road’ To Crisis Plan For Zombie/Hippie Uprising

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Smell the Glove.Managing not to jizz themselves at the Ted Nugentness of it all, the Survivalists of the Wyoming House passed by voice vote a first reading of House Bill 85, which would prepare the “state” for potential catastrophes from Cormac McCarthy nuclear babyrapists to zombies to stoner Occupy louts to negroes come for their women. (But especially zombies.) Having already stocked its cellar with enough ammo to hold off Janet Reno for months, Wyoming turned its attention to every other Angry White Lumpen crank-approved militia-weirdo anti-gubmint Unabomer Manifesto face-melting Idea and said, “Hooboy gimmeee summa what that yeeeh bob burp,” or something, we don’t speak scary isolationist hillbilly bigot.

The task force would look at the feasibility of Wyoming issuing its own alternative currency, if needed. And House members approved an amendment Friday by state Rep. Kermit Brown, R-Laramie, to have the task force also examine conditions under which Wyoming would need to implement its own military draft, raise a standing army, and acquire strike aircraft and an aircraft carrier.

Prejudice and zombies.Said state Rep. Lorraine Quarberg, R-Thermopolis, her eyes presumably shiny and scary, “I don’t think there’s anyone in this room today what would come up here and say that this country is in good shape, that the world is stable and in good shape — because that is clearly not the case.” Then she called the FBI on the Ayrab at the convenience store, for freedom.

[Star-Tribune]

 

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{ 306 comments }

DrunkIrishman March 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

I've been to Wyoming. That place IS a post-apocalyptic shithole.

Geminisunmars March 3, 2012 at 10:06 pm

I lived in Wyoming for two years. Great place to live if you're an alcoholic or Baptist. I'm neither, but would have had to become one if I'd stayed.

DemmeFatale March 4, 2012 at 9:59 am

But parts of it are impossibly beautiful.
(Well, there was that guy who thought our VW Rabbit(!), was an exotic, foreign, car.)

Toomush_Infer March 4, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Yeh, but Thermopolis? Like heroin for the blubber class….what a great place….!

anniegetyerfun March 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Oh, Jesus. Thermopolis actually exists. I thought that was a nuclear apocalypse joke.

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Hot springs, dudette. The opportunity to nuke your nuts slowly but naturally.

anniegetyerfun March 3, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Sounds divine!

V572 Flambé March 4, 2012 at 10:46 am

Didn't you see "300"?

Ducksworthy March 5, 2012 at 1:35 pm

True story. I once ordered a Stroh's at a bar in Thermopolis. The local unemployed sheep fuckers pointed out to me that they only drink Coors there.(Because Adolph hates Detroit?)

OzoneTom March 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

So sad that they let themselves be bullied into sacrificing their dream of an aircraft carrier by the lamestream media.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 4, 2012 at 6:57 am

The Census Bureau estimated the 2011 population of Wyoming at 568,000.
A smallish carrier would cost $1 billion, the aircraft, another $200,000,000.

Let's do what Wyoming legislators cannot do: the math.

Ohforcripessake March 4, 2012 at 8:24 am

Well of course they will need an earmark or two from our socialist big government.

ScyllaMe March 4, 2012 at 11:50 am

Eh, Wyoming has way more money than you'd think. They tax the crap out out any oil and gas (and any other minerals). I find it frightening that they could potentially buy an aircraft carrier if they really want.

Biff March 4, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Then there's the logistics of finding a mudhole in Wyoming deep enough to float said carrier.

That said, I once spent an extra day (total of 3) riding my motorcycle around in Wyoming because it was just so damned beautiful…

CigarVolante March 4, 2012 at 7:00 am

There is plenty of room for an Aircraft Carrier on Jackson Lake.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 5, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Getting it there is the problem.
"We're gonna need a bigger truck."

Beowoof March 4, 2012 at 9:27 am

You never know when as a land locked state when you will need to have aircraft battle group to keep an amphibious assault at bay.

oldedinvn March 4, 2012 at 11:09 am

Pussies, that could have been the largest sane area in the state. Since the residents can't think, maybe metal would do the job for them.

anniegetyerfun March 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Why is Michele Bachmann shooting guns from that tank?

the_problem_child March 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Didn't we already establish that Wyoming can't actually float an aircraft carrier?

ManchuCandidate March 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Unless it was the SHIELD helicarrier.

Or there was a tailing pond big enough.

gullywompr March 4, 2012 at 12:36 am

Enough stupidity to sink a battleship, though.

oldedinvn March 4, 2012 at 11:15 am

If stupidity were food, the US could feed the universe.

gurukalehuru March 4, 2012 at 2:56 am

Ha! They're gonna put WHEELS on that sucker. Watch yore ass, Nebraska.

DerrickWildcat March 4, 2012 at 4:25 am

We are already allover that shit!

oldedinvn March 4, 2012 at 11:12 am

Can I get the contract? I used to work for KBR.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 5:45 am

It didn't work when the hippies tried to float the Pentagon in 1967, either.

Can Wyoming not take a hint?

paris biltong March 4, 2012 at 9:04 am

We were actually trying to levitate the mother, if I remember correctly.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 8:24 pm

"Float" can mean a whole number of things in the English language. Plus, in this case, it fits the joke.

James Michael Curley March 4, 2012 at 10:28 am

At least in 1967 we hippies got around the Pentagon. I doubt Wyoming legislators are smart enough to get around the block.

LionHeartSoyDog March 4, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Yeah, but when the Wiccans tried to pray Love into George W. Bush's diseased heart, it did scare the shit out of him.

Dudleydidwrong March 4, 2012 at 10:47 am

There is a "Two Ocean Lake" in Wyoming. I think that someone, half in the bag, saw that on a Wyoming road map and said "We better get ready." There's a move afoot to dig a version of the Panama Canal between Two Ocean and Emma Matilda Lakes. Teddy Roosevelt, eat your heart out!

oldedinvn March 4, 2012 at 11:18 am

Oh shit. We need two aircraft carriers to guard our shores.

Biff March 4, 2012 at 4:37 pm

"Mr Carlson, what we've got here is a helicopter gap"

Les Nessman

Texan_Bulldog March 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Does anyone give a shit about WY and it's 1200 inhabitants? And why don't they take back Darth Cheney while they're at it?

Although I see that Lorraine Quarberg has discovered the wonders of Aqua Net.

CountryClubJihadi March 3, 2012 at 10:35 pm

And mock turtlenecks.

Negropolis March 3, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Maybe after that discovery, she can discover the wonders of the 21st century.

orygoon March 3, 2012 at 11:41 pm

Yeah, I like it cuz it's got Yellowstone, and lots of cool scenery elsewhere.

I just need to move there with a couple of tens of thousands of my librul friends and reverse its assholery, by takeover.

I would totally love for that to happen.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 12:39 pm

You should absolutely do that. Run for Sheriff. While you're at it.

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Poor Hunter. He could probably win today in Aspen/Pitkin County. He was just a head of his times.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 3:39 pm

That would have been so cool, and we would now be referring to "the Fat City Ideas Festival", etc.

Also, the Sheriff's Deputy's would promise to refrain from eating Mescaline while on duty.

ManchuCandidate March 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

An aircraft carrier? Strike aircraft? A standing army?

Those things require raising taxes… um… er… well, you know.

el_donaldo March 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Actually if you cut taxes, the army pays for itself. How you ask? Cut taxes = wingnut magic. Armies = also wingnut magic. It's simple math: Cut taxes = Army.

ManchuCandidate March 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Much like Social Security and Medicare.

They really do bring the 'tard in Contard.

Biff March 4, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Many deserve to be tarred, also.

Barrelhse March 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

They'll probably have a toll booth at the state line.
"That's right, mister. Eighty bucks, or you can go around."

ttommyunger March 3, 2012 at 10:31 pm

I would be sorely tempted go around under any circumstances.

yrbmegr March 5, 2012 at 10:23 am

Or over, as I so often do.

twoeightnine March 3, 2012 at 11:48 pm

I'll go around.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 2:08 am

I can see some old, crusty, hillbilly prospector, right now…

"Who would cross these hills of death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see."

BaldarTFlagass March 4, 2012 at 11:30 am

Who…was the best vice-president the United States ever had?

Biff March 4, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Also, bring me a shrubbery.

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 4, 2012 at 3:26 am

$80 for a reach around? That's a bit high, but okay, I guess.

Negropolis March 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

And, with that, Wyoming passed legislation renaming "taxes" as "freedom debt/deficits".

Naked_Bunny March 4, 2012 at 11:20 am

Liberty tokens.

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Actually, true facts, Republican Wyoming has a balanced budget every year while Colorado struggles with budget shortages because Republican Wyoming actually taxes the piss out of oil and gas extraction, while the Colorado's (allegedly)Democratic governor John Dickenpooper is in bed with the oil and gas industry and refuses to even discuss taxing oil and gas like they do in Wyoming.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 4:02 am

The more natural resources you have to exploit, and the smaller the population, the better off your state is going to generally be. Wyoming has fewer people in its entire state than in the city of Denver.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 5, 2012 at 9:40 pm

It's the perfect setup: out-of-staters pay the taxes. (How does this racket not violate the Commerce Clause?)

Beowoof March 4, 2012 at 9:29 am

Jeebus will help them make it happen by magic.

Negropolis March 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Janet SMASH!

BTW, this proposed law dovetails very nicely into Michigan state University's course on surviving the coming zombie apocalpyse:

Although the idea of studying an attack of the undead may sound absurd to many, instructor and course creator Glenn Stutzky told MSU News "the topic is serious and worthy of academic study, the challenges presented in surviving a hypothetical zombie pandemic have real-world applications."

The state is already nearly post-apocalyptic, so it doesn't seem so far fetched.

memzilla March 3, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Brain-eating zombies will starve to death in Red State America.

HateMachine March 4, 2012 at 1:22 pm

See, you're failing to consider the possibility that they're on the loose there already.

Biff March 4, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Obviously, their work is done there, and it's time for them to return home to Utah.

Chichikovovich March 3, 2012 at 11:00 pm

From now on they're going to be prepared when Ohio State comes to town.

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 1:40 am

Don't confuse U of M with MSU. Both MSU and OSU hate the WOLVERINES!!1! A Buckeye has no problems with a Spartan, and vice versa.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 2:18 am

That simply isn't true. We just hate UofM more, but both teams hate OSU. Were it not for Dantonio being from Ohio, it'd be all out war in the media.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Damn you, OSU! I'd have rather we lost another game than to have to "share" the Big Ten title with you and UofM! Nice collapse, Spartans.

Chichikovovich March 4, 2012 at 7:11 am

? How does that change the fact that when Sparties and Buckeyes are together in the same small city it resembles a zombie apocalypse?

p.s. You might be overestimating the Buckeye powers of discrimination. I don't see any general exception for Spartans in their chant:

O, we don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan
The whole state of Michigan, the whole state of Michigan
We don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan, we're from Ohio
We're from Ohio…O-H
We're from Ohio…I-O
O, we don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan
The whole state of Michigan, the whole state of Michigan
We don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan, we're from Ohio

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 1:02 pm

This subthread has become uglier than a Michigan co-ed.
A menage a trois of hate and distrust, not unlike the Mitt, Newt, Butt Juice show.
Can't we all be friends, like that time I nailed that little cutey from MSU?

paris biltong March 4, 2012 at 9:11 am

Confusing terms and acronyms. Can we just say that students in Lansing learn things that no one at Ann Arbor really gives a damn about?

DemmeFatale March 4, 2012 at 10:32 am

My daughter, (a Poli-Sci major in libtard Oregon), has a professor that used to work for Homeland Security in D.C. He maintains that there is no terrorist threat to the US anymore.
Of course the fear and paranoia is so useful to the zombie and militia people that they'll never give it up. We're stuck with it, now.
(Wish I could snark about this, but it just makes me sad.)

FlownOver March 4, 2012 at 1:13 pm

This view, of course, is why he used to work for Homeland Security.

fuflans March 4, 2012 at 12:50 pm

to be fair, i really really hate zombies.

i am not snarking.

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Zombies are people, my fuf!

(sort of)

Swampgas_Man March 4, 2012 at 4:12 pm

The zombies on Walking Dead are the only characters w/ any sensible outlook and real motivation.

Serolf_Divad March 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

An aircraft carrier? Oh, I get it: it's in case God becomes terribly angry at all the dirty hippies lounging about in their Birkenstocks and sipping double frappuccinos and decides to visit the Earth with another terrible flood to wipe them all out. Everyone in the state of Wyoming (population 1837 or thereabouts) will pile into the aricraft carrier with their Ron Paul commemorative survival kit, their livestock and their guns and wait 'till the waters recede,

ShaveTheWhales March 4, 2012 at 1:12 am

And they're wasting their time, because God already said no more floods, so next time She's just gonna touch off Yellowstone.

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 3:30 pm

70 million years ago nearlly all of Wyoming was under an inland seaway. You can never be too careful.

Larry McAwful March 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm

What does Wyoming need its own currency for? They already have a state quarter. I drove through Wyoming a couple of years ago, and there really isn't much to buy out there, not since the end of the Teapot Dome scandal.

anniegetyerfun March 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

I have to admit that I found Wyoming to be one of the loveliest states that I have ever visited. Part of this might have been the fact that there was almost no one there, and I do so hate humanity.

Geminisunmars March 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

That, and the Grand Tetons are about all it has going for it.

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Nice fossils. It was a great place to live 55-50 million years ago. But hotter than hell. Like today – actually, more like 50 to 100 years from now – but with lots more rain.

subsum March 4, 2012 at 11:45 am

I like big tetons; always have.

orygoon March 3, 2012 at 11:47 pm

Hell yeah! Big swathes of the west are awesome that way!

When I was a kid, I was a military brat, and for a few years we lived in Massachusetts, which I loved. But I remember in sixth grade they put us in a bus and took us out a few hours west for an outdoor experience (which was–getting lost, I kid you not). I looked out the but window and I'd count between houses. I think the highest number I got to was 5 or so, until we got to the getting-lost-in-it woods/swamp.

anniegetyerfun March 3, 2012 at 11:52 pm

I went to college in Western Mass, and it left a lot to be desired. The landscape was pretty bleak – lots of corn fields and not much else… oh, some pretty deciduous forests, but nothing really grand. The West, though, I will always love. I like the deserts, the craggy mountains, the rain forests, and the beaches – no matter what kind of beach. Rocky, sandy, windy – I don't care. I don't really ever want to leave it, unless somewhere super exciting calls.

littlebigdaddy March 4, 2012 at 12:41 am

I love the landscape there but admit it can be a bit overwhelming. Being able to see for a hundred miles and seeing really nothing of interest before the next mountain range is disconcerting. The people are mostly harmless lunatics. They want to be left alone and are happy to leave you alone into the bargain.

Gunner Asch March 4, 2012 at 12:50 am

"Nothing of interest"! You sound like my 6 year old daughter when we took her to Dante's View in Death Valley (the most spectacular scene in the world, IMHO) and she spent her time watching ants.

ShaveTheWhales March 4, 2012 at 1:14 am

Hey, ants are pretty interesting.

– E.O. Wilson

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Ants collect fossils!

DemmeFatale March 4, 2012 at 10:54 am

So true.
We traveled a lot when they were young, (6-12), and now they give us their best "j'accuse" faces, and ask why we didn't wait. Oh yeah, cause a car with 2 teenage girls would have been really fun!!

Picture this: Death Valley, August, mid-day, German tourists, Convertible (with the top down)! WTF?!

Biff March 4, 2012 at 5:03 pm

We used to be tasked with locating their remains. The name Death Valley seems to attract the suicidal, whether intentional or accidental. Now that I'm retired, their disappearances don't affect me anymore so I can sit back and enjoy the news instead of dreading the call.

bagofmice March 4, 2012 at 10:49 am

Welcome to Alaska.

Chet Kincaid March 4, 2012 at 2:06 am

That would be a great opening for a book, if anyone read them anymore.

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Frothy/MittBott/whatever LIBEL!!!!

WoodAK March 4, 2012 at 11:24 am

Were the trees just the right height?

ScyllaMe March 4, 2012 at 11:53 am

I suspect you visited only the edges. The middle of the state is indeed a blighted, post-apocalyptic wasteland. But yeah, it is pretty fantastic that there's not many people there.

DemmeFatale March 4, 2012 at 1:55 pm

This is true of CA and OR, and NY, (and probably many others as well).
What is it about the edges vs. the middle of places?

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 3:38 pm

How else would people know where to put the state boundaries if Gawd hadn't made it obvious to them?

Biff March 4, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Yes, an impassable mountain range or a raging river, possibly an ocean or sea…

Serolf_Divad March 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

The original bill appropriated $32,000 for the task force, though the Joint Appropriations Committee slashed that number in half earlier this week.

LOL, they're going to spend less money studying the issue of how to prepare for Armageddon and the total collapse of Western Civilization than it would cost to buy a new Huyndai Elantra.*

*To be fair, though: only after you factor in title, taxes and fees.

Come here a minute March 3, 2012 at 10:21 pm

That's one sweet ride! (The zombie apacolypse, I mean.)

CivicHoliday March 4, 2012 at 9:03 am

"Win the superbowl, drive off in a Hyundai"
(golddigger libel!)

Biff March 4, 2012 at 5:08 pm

All the way to Disneyland!

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Disneyland is like the Detroit of the Disney theme parks.

Biff March 4, 2012 at 9:24 pm

I only went once, to see the Four Tops and The Temptations back in the early 70's. The shine was still on it then.

Barrelhse March 3, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Aircraft carrier? LMFAO. Which lake, Bimbo?
I hope they blow the whole freakin' budget on this bullshit, assholes.

MadBrahms March 3, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Aww, they nixed the standing army / aircraft carrier idea. Now how will they defend themselves when the Republic of Nebraska rolls in to steal all of their gold bullion?

tribbzthesquidz March 3, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Needs moar failed-state atrocity.

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 11:38 pm

Have you ever driven I-80 across Nebraska? National Guard troops coming from Lincoln would die of boredom before they reached Cheyenne.

Jukesgrrl March 3, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Yes. And hell yes.

twoeightnine March 4, 2012 at 12:14 am

I drove part of it at night. So glad I did. Slept at a rest area outside of Grand Island.. woke up and thought that I had died.

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 12:23 am

Best 8 hours I ever spent in Kansas was driving all the way across it at night with a bunch of other guys back in college.

FlownOver March 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Yeah, but you have to start at "Twelve million bottles of beer on the wall…"

…or know how to roll 'em at 85 MPH. If you go any slower the troopers think you're a suspicious character & pul you over for a look-see.

DerrickWildcat March 4, 2012 at 3:21 pm

All of you guys states sucks for various reasons.

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Wyoming issuing its own alternative currency, if needed.

Pfft, they already have 10 brazillion sheep to use for currency, provided you don't mind taking the ranch hand that's plugged into them as part of the deal.

Boojum_Reborn March 4, 2012 at 6:08 am

So much for virgin wool.

Barb March 3, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Saturday posts are happening and a double alt+text. Rebecca Schoenkopf, in front of all of these unworthy scum and with God as my witness, will you gay marry me? Our cellar will be stocked with the finest cheeses in a can, meats from a can and beer in a can, natch. I've got a brand new pair of roller skate and you've got a brand new key.

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Don't listen to Barb, Becky! I've got a brand new combine harvester!

HempDogbane March 4, 2012 at 12:53 am

fpdog, you should be ashamed of yourself !

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 9:53 am

Oh, my! The key to any woman's heart is a horn section featuring mostly farty tubas!

bagofmice March 4, 2012 at 10:51 am

Did you say combine harvester? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEuAyZkV8UY

DemmeFatale March 4, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I remember being a teenager in England when this was on Top of the Pops!
It was my 1st thought when I saw Barb's post, but I was afraid it was too obscure!
Good for you pdog!
I'll bet Lizzie remembers this on TOTP, (as well as the My Ding-a-Ling debacle, Laurel and Hardy, and Pan's People).

BTW: I'll bring some SPAM to Barb's survivalist cellar!

littlebigdaddy March 4, 2012 at 12:53 am

And she does have a lovely head!

starfanglednut March 4, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Yes, but are the skates in a can?

Callyson March 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

its own alternative currency…its own military draft…a standing army…strike aircraft and an aircraft carrier
Why stop there? Why not just secede and get a head start on all that? Your senators won't be missed, and you can take Dickhead Cheney back while you're at it…

memzilla March 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Their own alternative currency? Well, Slim Jims and Cheetos will probably survive a thermonuclear blast.

Barrelhse March 3, 2012 at 10:15 pm

And why is this joint still open on Saturday night?

Jukesgrrl March 3, 2012 at 11:45 pm

"Under new management" Next thing you know there will be napkins and toothpicks.

imissopus March 3, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Sounds classy. I'll put on some pants.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 4, 2012 at 5:20 am

Nah … it's still the Wonkette.

not that Dewey March 4, 2012 at 5:39 am

Honestly, Ms Schoenkopf. The Devil said I didn't have to wear any pants.

Chet Kincaid March 4, 2012 at 2:13 am

Cocktail peanuts and cocktail weenies.

iburl March 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Wy Oming? Wy?

Negropolis March 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

If I was a Wyomingite, the only thing I'd be afraid of are the things crawling out of Jackson Hole. You know, Cheneys.

littlebigdaddy March 4, 2012 at 12:44 am

And Foster Friesses!

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 2:15 am

My god, he's from there, too?

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 10:17 pm

The bill must pass two more House votes before it would head to the Senate for consideration. The original bill appropriated $32,000 for the task force, though the Joint Appropriations Committee slashed that number in half earlier this week.

HA, HA, even these bozos don't take this proposal seriously! 16K wouldn't even pay for the weekend trip (with wives) to the five-star Broadmoor Hotel in Jesurado Springs, to have their opening brain- (and I use the word "brain" loosely) storming session. Much less more than 2.5 pages of a consultant report on the matter.

(You don't get the feeling I've put in 32 years in low-level management in state guvmint, do ya?)

Chichikovovich March 3, 2012 at 11:05 pm

In other words, you already have decades of experience surviving a zombie holocaust.

ShaveTheWhales March 4, 2012 at 1:16 am

There's a Broadmoor in fucking Wyoming?

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Sorry, should have made it clear that it's in Jesurado Springs, Colorado. Ted Haggard, Focus on the Family, all that good stuff.

Boojum_Reborn March 4, 2012 at 6:11 am

Brain storming = heavy fog.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

They just drive their brain-cars around at top-speed of 35mph through the heavy fog of foreyners and gheys and cattle theeves until two of them have a head-on collision. The jolt makes them collectively shit themselves, at which point they call lunch and phone in an aircraft carrier order.

mavenmaven March 3, 2012 at 10:17 pm

What will their currency be called? The Wyomero? The Cow-chip? How will they print it post apocalypse? They've been breathing too much methane out there.

gurukalehuru March 4, 2012 at 3:03 am

I don't know, but there should be five bees to the quarter.

Dudleydidwrong March 4, 2012 at 11:00 am

Their aircraft carrier was going to be named after a former vice-president but they couldn't agree. Half wanted to call it the WS Cheney. The other half wanted it named the WS Dick. So they compromised and had agreed on the WS Batshit when the legislature sobered up and canceled it for now.

AutomaticPilot March 3, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Dick Cheney plans to use his stockpiled pints of baby's blood as currency.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm

He'll be so disappointed when he realizes there aren't as many undead as he thought.

tribbzthesquidz March 3, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Repent. The time of the Dumbfuckalypse is nigh.

Come here a minute March 3, 2012 at 10:20 pm

There is an invisible zombie right there in the picture of state Rep. Lorraine Quarberg, R-Thermopolis — the photographer helpfully framed the picture to include space for us to imagine it eating her brain!

OurDailyBread March 4, 2012 at 12:41 pm

But it might just starve to death.

BarackMyWorld March 3, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Can't we just get BEYOND Thunderdome?

MadBrahms March 3, 2012 at 10:37 pm

"Boy, I still think we really screwed up on that Thunderdome fiasco!"

Frequently heard in the Wyoming State House, I imagine.

ManchuCandidate March 3, 2012 at 11:02 pm

We don't need another carrier, man.

Biff March 4, 2012 at 5:26 pm

This is Wyoming we're talking about. It's
♫♪"We don't need another Negro…♪♫

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Please, they haven't gotten past Teapot Dome yet.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 2:03 am

Kind-of-obscure historical reference FTW!

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 1:18 pm

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES WITH BRIBE MONEY!

fartknocker March 3, 2012 at 10:22 pm

I would love to be a fly on the wall at the General Dynamics when the VP of Business Development announces "we just sold a fucking aircraft carrier to the State of Wyoming. And we're launching it in Wyoming."

memzilla March 3, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Sure… if Matchbox is now a subsidiary of General Dynamics. Those 1:72nd scale F-16s can sting like a motherf***er.

extreme_left March 3, 2012 at 10:27 pm

well teh gays are coming, apparently

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 11:45 pm
Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 2:05 am

In more ways than one?

extreme_left March 4, 2012 at 5:01 pm

thats why they have to be prepared, they come at you from all angles.

not that Dewey March 4, 2012 at 5:44 am

Maybe they can do something about Rep Quarberg's hair.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 5:59 am

You see, Dewey, we have to understand: barbarians need to be educated. They need to be disciplined. Teh Gheys have got to subdue Wyoming by force, to bring the long-suffering state culture and enlightenment. It is the only way. Hopefully, they will be greeted as the liberators they truly are. For once, the poor souls were under the scrouage of harsh fluorescent lighting, they shall now see the beauty of the world under the incandescent vanity lights!

extreme_left March 4, 2012 at 5:33 pm

i expect various erections of public art in parks in celebration of liberation

Biff March 4, 2012 at 5:33 pm

They're gonna need a lot of gays, then!
Didn't work in Alpine County, probably wouldn't work in Wyoming either. Not that I want to discourage anyone from trying, however.

extreme_left March 4, 2012 at 5:37 pm

so teh gays did come? but then left, typical.

Biff March 4, 2012 at 8:42 pm

There's a famous former biker bar, now more like a fern bar, so not all of 'em left. They kept the name, Cutthroat Saloon.

extreme_left March 4, 2012 at 8:50 pm

sounds like they got nothing to worry about.

BigRadio March 3, 2012 at 10:30 pm

No State shall enter into any Treaty, Alliance, or Confederation; grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal; coin Money; emit Bills of Credit; make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts; pass any Bill of Attainder, ex post facto Law, or Law impairing the Obligation of Contracts, or grant any Title of Nobility.

What exactly do they not understand about this?

MadBrahms March 3, 2012 at 10:35 pm

"Marque", "ex post facto", that sounds like foreigner-speak to me. And Wyoming doesn't cotton to foreigner-speak.

ManchuCandidate March 3, 2012 at 11:01 pm

ALL OF THEM, KATIE.

Barrelhse March 3, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Maybe they announced that they're Sovereign Citizens and, therefore, those silly old laws don't apply.

Jukesgrrl March 3, 2012 at 11:52 pm

They don't have the Dennis Kucinich Pocket Constitution. They have one they downloaded from redstate.com.

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 12:43 am

haha. This is what they mean by Constitutional Conservatards. It's analogous to Conservapedia or the Conservative Bible. What a bunch of simpleton sociopaths.

CivicHoliday March 4, 2012 at 9:05 am

The sad thing is that if we sent Dennis out there to explain it to them, the entire body of state representatives would tackle him en mass, tie him to a tree, and demand he reveal where he hid his pot of gold.

starfanglednut March 4, 2012 at 2:45 pm

And make off with his wife, rawr, hubba hubba.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Your mention of the Dennis Kucinich Pocket Constitution makes me all tingly.

Burgdorf March 4, 2012 at 12:33 am

Well, clearly the core concept!

FlownOver March 4, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Mostly the "words."

ttommyunger March 3, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Now we know- all those wide open spaces they've been sing about: between their fucking ears.

soeoho March 3, 2012 at 10:40 pm

You might laugh now but just wait. I suggest a preemptive strike based on WMD's and the preponderous lack of evidence that argues against that very clear and present fartage eminating from this rouge state. For proof I have verified through numerous sources with not 1, but 2 first names, not to be named, that Wyoming has hidden the largest caldera known (B. F. Volcano) in the NW quadrant and disguised it as Yellowstone Park!
This is not funny.
Major Kong (at failsafe)

Negropolis March 3, 2012 at 11:03 pm

I hear that if the volcano blows its top, it could actually destroy the world. Plus, with all that vacant land, we can't be sure that they aren't harboring illegal (extraterrestrial) aliens. So, yeah, we are well within our right as a nation to protect ourselves from this rogue state.

Bomb Wyoming, Cheney be damned!

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 11:50 pm

They have lots of buffalo at Yellowstone, and they used to have lots of Indians. Now Wyoming has Republican state legislators, living proof that Indians fucked buffalo.

Jukesgrrl March 3, 2012 at 11:55 pm

Finding WMDs in Wyoming sounds like a suitable job for Sheriff Arpaio. Since he's solved all the crimes in his own state.

Beowoof March 4, 2012 at 9:40 am

Well all those involving white people, and in his mind the rest don't matter.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 11:03 am

***AUTODIN FLASH TRANS…EAM INCOMING
…STANDBY…
EAM RECEIVED***

authent code Whisky Lima Sierra Uniform Tango 6 2 9 Zero November Oscar Zulu Zulu 1 5 3 8 Alpha Golf India Julet 6 1 9. I say again: Whisky Lima Sierra Uniform Tango 6 2 9 Zero November Oscar Zulu Zulu 1 5 3 8 Alpha Golf India Julet 6 1 9.
message ends

anniegetyerfun March 3, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Interestingly, at this moment, the Wyoming.gov website features a list of "first women" moments in the state's history. My question – were all of these women necessarily insane?

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 11:53 pm

It's always been a helpful survival character in Square State, Jr..

Mumbletypeg March 3, 2012 at 11:22 pm

Quarberg has the kind of face that one imagines the voice belonging to it must have a higher-pitchy squeak, effusive, like she just popped an Altoid — but when you meet her in person, what comes out instead is this deep, nasal, gloooottal tremor like a fire alarm on a freighter.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 2:05 am

Quarberg looks like a character the incomparable Kristen Wiig might play on Saturday Night Live.

imissopus March 3, 2012 at 11:53 pm

Sounds like they all watched Jericho and didn't realize it was fiction and not a "what if" Discovery Channel series.

BZ1 March 3, 2012 at 11:54 pm

In this new post-armageddon bill, the Repubs actually consider land-locked Wyoming would need an aircraft carrier; you can't make this stuff up …

mavenmaven March 3, 2012 at 11:54 pm

OT: Look who's a bigshot now! http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/04/opinion/sunday/

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 12:17 am

Weiner pics or GTFO!

MadBrahms March 4, 2012 at 3:17 am

We demand more, "Thomas Ng"

Joshua Norton March 4, 2012 at 1:43 am

She still makes me laugh out loud. And that's really not an easy job.

(Or it might have been that last box of Blush Rose that I just polished off. Or the fact that I was amazed that my pirated NYT login still worked because I haven't used it in literally years.)

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 2:24 am

Relationship status: It’s complicated.

Interests: Unpredictable and decontextualized screaming;…his game I made up that involves sticking my index finger in people’s mouths when they yawn and pulling it out before they bite down again.

Ha! Good as ever, Juli.

BTW, that KLM program sounds absolutely horrible. It's like high school all over again.

horsedreamer_1 March 4, 2012 at 2:56 am

& what if one eschews facebook? Have to use another carrier?

Guppy March 4, 2012 at 11:44 am

"It's like high school all over again."

Considering that I often ended up with a lunch table all to myself, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 1:04 pm

LOL: Glad I read your comment, I was this close to blockquoting that exact same sentence about the yawning/fingering.

Nostrildamus March 4, 2012 at 12:13 am

Update shows they nixed the aircraft carrier. I'm glad they're being reasonable about this whole thing!

Blueb4sunrise March 4, 2012 at 12:26 am

Arizona did all that shit last year. The trick is to NOT TELL ANYBODY!!!
Stupid fucking Wyomingans.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 1:00 pm

They're drunk on stupidity. Problem with being drunk? You tell everyone everything.

MistaEko March 4, 2012 at 12:27 am

State White Paper WY782934

Feasibility of Wyoming State utilizing Aircraft Carrier in Martial Law Circumstances

Prepared for: State of Wyoming

Prepared by: Booz Allen Hamilton

(p1)
You fuckers are landlocked.

ShaveTheWhales March 4, 2012 at 1:20 am

Wheels, dammit!! Wheels!!!

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 2:10 am

Well, there went the $16k budget.

Jukesgrrl March 4, 2012 at 2:20 am

For an hour's time with a Booz Allen "strategy analyst."

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 2:30 am

Wait, so you're telling me that Wyoming is the Poland of the Mountain West?

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 11:57 am

Upon receipt of the report, the Wyoming Legislature immediately released an RFP for construction of one of These.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 12:59 pm

It could be steam powered! They could just tap into Yellowstone's thermal power and build pipelines to their leviathan as they moved ever-so-slowly to invade Nebraska. Hey WY, I just came up with that for FREE! Next Big Idea's gonna cost you that $16K.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Excellent point. Just don't mention that geothermal steam power is Carbon-Neutral, that will just piss them of and they'll spec it out for Coal.

$16K? You can hold out for double that and a Retainer. They have money falling out of their asses for things like this, apparently.

Biff March 4, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Bid low, make it up on change orders.

DustBowlBlues March 4, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Your comment was my laff-riot for the day.

Nostrildamus March 4, 2012 at 12:28 am

Y'know, an aircraft carrier isn't really going to be that useful after the most likely Wyoming apocalypse.

littlebigdaddy March 4, 2012 at 12:46 am

That sucka would bring us all down.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 4, 2012 at 4:47 am

So long as it's designed to sail on a sea of lava, there should be no problem. But –unless the Republiclowns repeal a few of the Laws of Thermodynamics– you definitely wouldn't want to be in one of the Wyoming Navy's submarines.

paris biltong March 4, 2012 at 9:30 am

21 million, 1.3 million, 640,000 years, the next one seems already overdue.

Joshua Norton March 4, 2012 at 12:29 am

Wyoming issuing its own alternative currency, if needed.

Because what could possibly go wrong with that?

This underscores a larger phenomenon: adopting conservative Republican ideas invariably leads to questions such as, “Wait, we did what?” a few years later.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Seriously, though; who could have guessed that a landlocked federated state's acquisition of an aircraft carrier would be a bad idea?

Nostrildamus March 4, 2012 at 12:32 am

We can't afford to wait until WY has hardened its defenses!!! Send in the nukes.

ElPinche March 4, 2012 at 12:42 am

Mr. Show was way ahead of everyone:

The Independent Nations Games:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBsRvdHJUDk
(BTW: At 2:08, best parallel bars move in the world.)

amoosefloats March 4, 2012 at 12:47 am

Wyoming Birthplace to Dick Cheney, Men who kill gay men for sport and cows. Good luck considering most of your land is BLM federal land anyway. All of you own land is owned by carnies, and cowboy meth heads.

AlaskaGrrl March 4, 2012 at 1:14 am

People in Wyoming don't get out much.

MadBrahms March 4, 2012 at 1:55 am

Thankfully.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 2:26 am

They do; it's just really hard to tell when your nearest neighbor is a days-drive away.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Good.

MadBrahms March 4, 2012 at 1:53 am

"Zombie Hippie Uprising" is my favorite death metal jam band.

DerrickWildcat March 4, 2012 at 2:13 am

and 3 nuclear powered ballistic missile submarines.

orygoon March 4, 2012 at 12:52 pm

I'll take 3 nuclear powered ballistic missile submarine sandwiches, chips and coke to go, please.

ShaveTheWhales March 4, 2012 at 2:39 am

I'm sure this is exactly what the Founders had in mind when they decided Wyoming and California should each have two Senators.

Guppy March 4, 2012 at 11:50 am

I think the idea was to keep the Senate unelected so nobody would put too much stock into it to begin with.

horsedreamer_1 March 4, 2012 at 2:57 am

& Fennis Dembo shall lead them.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 4, 2012 at 4:39 am

Well, any state currency worth its weight in wingnuts has to be backed by gold … how much of that particular shiny metal do they have piled up in their bunkers?

Dudleydidwrong March 4, 2012 at 11:19 am

What do you think was going to be the ballast in that aircraft carrier?

cheaphits March 4, 2012 at 6:38 am

Maybe like the most famous WY citizens, The Hole in the Wall Gang (that is if you don't count "He Whose Name May Not Be Spoken" Cheney and no one should count him) they can hold out and make a go of it from robbing trains. No lawmen ever successfully entered it to capture outlaws during its more than fifty years of active existence, nor were any lawmen attempting to infiltrate it by use of undercover techniques successful. Of course, then they were probably Democrats.

x111e7thst March 4, 2012 at 8:13 am

They are not thinking this through properly. Wyoming does not make its own precursor chemicals for cooking meth and they import all their Oxycontin. The whole thing will collapse in a week.

Monsieur_Grumpe March 4, 2012 at 8:25 am

Is it legal to marry your sister in Wyoming? I'm looking for an explanation here.

4TheTurnstiles March 4, 2012 at 8:33 am

Wyoming is fucking LANDLOCKED, Kermit Brown. You have no need for a fucking aircraft carrier.

Biff March 4, 2012 at 6:10 pm

They just really resent being called "fly-over country", you guys!

donner_froh March 4, 2012 at 8:53 am

They will need to decide what version of the Confederate flag they will fly from their new aircraft carrier.

chascates March 4, 2012 at 9:04 am

I'm guessing they won't stockpile the evil contraceptives as that would cause women to become sex addicts instead of building the new United State of Wyoming.

Chet Kincaid March 4, 2012 at 9:06 am

They should go to CarMax and pick up a certified, inspected, pre-owned aircraft carrier. They come with free vehicle history reports and a 5-day money-back guarantee!

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 9:13 am

I'd like to assemble a Task Force to investigate the feasibility of Nuking the Wyoming Legislature from orbit.
It's the only way to be sure.

BlueStateLibel March 4, 2012 at 9:20 am

So how long would it take Bloombert's NYPD army to invade and occupy Wyoming? 24 hours or less? I hate Bloomberg and the NYPD, but I still would like to see this happen.

Guppy March 4, 2012 at 11:53 am

You just want to see Bloomberg two time zones away, admit it.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 12:05 pm

That's not far enough.

Biff March 4, 2012 at 6:16 pm

I'm guessing the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Office could kick Wyoming's ass.

elburritodeluxe March 4, 2012 at 9:21 am

Some clever right wing jackass just convinced Wyoming to invest in his apocalyptic wet dream.

Guppy March 4, 2012 at 11:54 am

"clever right wing jackass"

So many right-wing jackasses, but so few who could be described as "clever."

SudsMcKenzie March 4, 2012 at 9:39 am

If they put the U.S.S. Cheyenne, (or whatever), out in the middle of a desert and it didn't move – it might be good news for John McCain.

Guppy March 4, 2012 at 11:54 am

Would he be able to set it on fire?

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 12:10 pm

He'd still miss it. Then he would be captured by Desert Hippies, given Jalapeno and LSD enemas and forced to sign a statement that he killed Paul.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 8:23 pm

I could totally see him crashing right into Burning Man. That would be epic.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Ah, hahahahaha!

Skyrader overshoots carrier, pancakes and spins to a stop next to huge, neon Yoni sculpture.
Naked, mud crusted 'shroomer guy: "Woah, Duuuuude! That's the most awesome installation ever!"
Nude chick with bat wings and green scale body paint, pulling Lt. McCain from wreckage: "Hey, wow, so Awesome! You must be worn out. Come on over to the Cleansing Tent for a refreshing Jalapeno and LSD enema!"

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 4:02 pm

He'd be shot out of the air by some Colorado kid testing the bottle rockets his dad drove him up to Wyoming to buy legally.

Neoyorquino March 4, 2012 at 11:05 am

A diminutive representative from one of the more populated areas was quoted as saying "These our witnesses Aunty. Us suffer bad. Want justice. We want Thunderdome."

BaldarTFlagass March 4, 2012 at 11:32 am

Instead of buying an aircraft carrier, everyone in Wyoming should just join the Navy.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Yes, but How're you gonna keep 'em Down on the Farm after they've seen a shipload of naked men in the shower Paree?

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 11:33 am

"Godspeed, Maj. Kong. Godspeed."

oldedinvn March 4, 2012 at 11:34 am

I am so glad that I left before the US worshiped stupidity.

weej_bain March 4, 2012 at 11:56 am

They've spent too much time looking at them there Grande Tétons and they've all become boobs, not boobies, just boobs.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 12:02 pm

The Wyoming Legislature: Le Grande Bouffons.

donner_froh March 4, 2012 at 12:10 pm

The Swiss Navy has some great deals on surplus equipment. There is a barely used Independence class aircraft carrier that was only sailed around Lake Geneva on Sunday afternoons.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 12:15 pm

OT: Does anyone out there know if the domain BigDirtNap.com is still available?

EDIT: it's not!!

Biff March 4, 2012 at 6:20 pm

That would've been a good get.

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Am I missing the obvious here? Why no Nuclear Weapons Program?

BigRadio March 4, 2012 at 2:27 pm

They don't want any of those Lefty Joo scientist crawling around.

Designer_Rants March 5, 2012 at 1:38 am

Not even Jeebus Himself, probably.

yrbmegr March 5, 2012 at 9:59 am

They only THOUGHT Iraq had yellow cake. Now they're back to sqaure one.

greypanter March 4, 2012 at 12:46 pm

"Managing not to jizz themselves at the Ted Nugentness of it all"

How can you make that assertion? Do the honorable "members" of the Wyoming House have jizz-o-meters installed on their private parts? Are the readings available on C-Span?

Designer_Rants March 5, 2012 at 1:38 am

No and no! And I've been petitioning both C-SPAN and the WY legislature to get jizz-o-meters installed for years!

fuflans March 4, 2012 at 12:47 pm

what happened to lorraine's head? 1963?

greypanter March 4, 2012 at 12:48 pm

I hope the Wyoming House spends 100% of their time on the preparations for this probable event. Just think of all of the other stuff that would prevent from happening.

DHarcavy March 4, 2012 at 1:32 pm

I went to Wyoming once. It was closed. [cow bell] Seriously, the "entering" and "leaving" signs were on the same pole [cymbal crash] And don't get me started on my hotel room . . . it was so small, when I opened the door the window broke [drum riff] . . . my toupee fell off, and I had wall-to-wall carpeting . . . but seriously. . . .

HolyCow!! March 4, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I imagine something like The Handmaid's Tale would arise.

rocktonsam March 4, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Dick Cheney= Whyoming , nuff said

JackDempsey1 March 4, 2012 at 2:43 pm

"Things started going downhill when our coinage was all roundy like West Virginia, give or take. Let's make money that's as fair and square as our beautiful state, and let the pieces fall where they may. Let's stop the coins (and the fate) of Wyoming from rolling underneath the stoves and refrigerators of the average cattleman. Can I get a yeee-haw?"

Toomush_Infer March 4, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Nah, the point is – these great big nowhere state like North Dakota are cheap to buy, politically. The Koch brothers can put up about $20 grand/person and have their own two senators for less than it costs to put up an offshore aircraft carrier factory….

Biff March 4, 2012 at 4:53 pm

If *The Rodeo Song wasn't written with Wyoming in mind, it should have been.
*Need I say, NSFW?

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Oh, Wyoming:

(Reuters) – Three young people have been hospitalized with kidney failure and a dozen others sickened in Casper, Wyoming, in an outbreak linked to a batch of the designer drug Spice, authorities said on Friday.

State medical officials said the cause of the outbreak was under investigation but reported that Casper residents who have sought medical treatment for vomiting and back pain had recently smoked or ingested a chemical-laced herbal product packaged as "blueberry spice."

The illnesses reported by physicians and hospitals in the east central Wyoming city beginning on Sunday had added up to a cluster that alarmed health officials by the end of the week.

"At this point, we are viewing use of this drug as a potentially life-threatening situation," Tracy Murphy, Wyoming state epidemiologist, said in a statement.

DahBoner March 4, 2012 at 8:40 pm

No way Vegans will ever get far in an uprising, becuz they can't walk very far in their cow-free sandals…

VinnyThePooh March 4, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Uh, Wyoming, an aircraft carrier is pretty useless without naval aircraft.

yrbmegr March 5, 2012 at 9:51 am

Or, like, actual bodies of water and such.

DustBowlBlues March 4, 2012 at 10:29 pm

G*ddamit. Ever since my district's own member to the state lege upped his Islamaphobia cred (a sure vote-getter here in the Dust Bowl) by calling Muslins "baby killers and women burners" then saving us from the curse of Sharia Law, (Worked like a charm. He was termed out and the lazy bastard was elected our District Atty. Easier than working for a living, no?) I have repeatedly suggested the lege pass another law to protect us from the Zombie Apocalypse.

The OK lege is going to be furious that they didn't follow my advice, instead letting Wyoming beat them to this cool, new law that also protects Wyomingers from the black, Muslin, socialist-fascist prez's takeover of our USA.

HistoriCat March 5, 2012 at 12:26 pm

You should run for the lege on that platform DBB – it's a disgrace that Wyoming has managed to get so far ahead of OK on this issue.

Uniprober March 4, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Hehehe…. Guns & Bibles.

yrbmegr March 5, 2012 at 8:54 am

There's not a Wal Mart in Wyoming with a parking lot big enough for them to park an aircraft carrier.

yrbmegr March 5, 2012 at 10:25 am

Name the new Wyoming currency!

Quarbergs, anyone?
How about pesos?

unclejeems March 5, 2012 at 11:51 am

Cheneys. The quarters can be Dicks. Four Dicks to a Cheney. Terrifying.

owhatever March 5, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Dear Wyoming,

You hicks keep up this arms race and we will kick your asses.

Thank you,
Colorado

Troglodeity March 5, 2012 at 2:44 pm

No aircraft carrier after all? Are they insane?!?

They're leaving the Republic of Wyoming wide open to a surprise attack by the South Dakota Imperial Navy.

fitley March 29, 2012 at 10:53 pm

When Wyoming has it's massive circle-jerks do they strap their guns on first or after they spooge all over each other?

Buckminster March 30, 2012 at 1:01 am

It's the fracking water. No, really, it's the fracking water!

Dashboard Buddha March 4, 2012 at 12:04 am

Fallout reference FTW.

littlebigdaddy March 4, 2012 at 12:46 am

And not handjobs?

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 5:49 am

You don't have to wear any pants, but you do have to be in a Slanket, Snuggie, Toasty Wrap, or a comparable piece of as-seen-on-TV-crap pajama wear.

finallyhappy March 4, 2012 at 7:22 am

I go for the more formal Pajama jeans

not that Dewey March 4, 2012 at 9:57 am

Can I wear my WTF Blanket?

Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Peepees are the first to fall off in the fallout aftermath.

starfanglednut March 4, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Awesome.

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Super awesome.

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Actually, that was when CW McCall's "Convoy" was in the top 10 on the charts, and on the radio twice an hour, it seemed like. We spent the 8 hours trying to catch the draft of semis so we could save on gas and get through Kansas quicker.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Yes! Subcontract to friends and families businesses and dummy front corporate entities. Beltway Banditism for the West!

Biff March 4, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Like parts of Wyoming, most of Alpine County is impossibly beautiful. I'd live there among them, if it wasn't for all the freaking snow.

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