DOUBLE AGENTS  4:53 pm March 3, 2012

Secret Liberal Rush Limbaugh Cleverly Kills Republican Party

by Wonkette Jr.

He's a super funny & smart guy!Hilarious radio satirist Rush Limbaugh pulled his biggest prank on far-right AM radio listeners and the entire Republican Party last week, when he took the GOP fringe-right religious-fanatic attack on birth control and turned it into a full Republican attack on all women. Now, as advertisers abandon the radio program and the GOP presidential candidates are jabbering tongue-tied nonsense when asked for the official Republican position on all women being sluts and prostitutes for using basic birth control, the comedic genius Rush Limbaugh is having his biggest laugh yet. We can only imagine the high-fives that Rush and Obama are giving each other today, on the golf course.

The AP reports on Limbaugh’s stunning “nuclear option” to finally demolish the GOP he has pretended to propagandize all these many years:

President Barack Obama is casting the contraception controversy as an issue of women’s rights, not religious freedom, seizing on what backers see as a political gift from Rush Limbaugh to firm up support from women and young voters, groups essential to his re-election hopes.

It also had the political benefit of forcing Republicans to choose between siding with the president and taking what critics view as an extreme position to counter him. Limbaugh, who has an enormous following on the political right, called Fluke a “slut” because the 30-year-old student has been a vocal supporter of access to contraception.

Today, we salute Rush Limbaugh, a hero and a patriot. Thomas Paine is quoted at the beginning the go-to manual for radical dirty tricks, Rules For Radicals, and we can only imagine Obama and Limbaugh sharing yet another laugh over this prescient bit of political prose:

“Let them call me rebel and welcome, I feel no concern from it; but I should suffer the misery of devils, were I to make a whore of my soul …” — Thomas Paine

The defining trait of a true revolutionary is that he cares not for the public perception, and indeed takes delight in his deeds being shrouded by confusion and mystery. Rush Limbaugh is such a feminist revolutionary, pointing the way to a time of equality and plenty for all. [ABC News/Associated Press]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 290 comments }

memzilla March 3, 2012 at 4:57 pm

I'd love to see a class-action defamation suit against this Titan of Tardturtidy, with 150 million American Wimmenz as the plaintiff.

Guppy March 3, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Meh, the Roberts court would make them all file individually.

Isyaignert March 3, 2012 at 7:50 pm

You beat me to it Guppy – class action lawsuits have gone the way of the dodo bird thanks to these corporate whores a/k/a unelected lifetime politicians in robes.

Barb March 3, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Remember when Rush said he's not going to 'bend over' and grab his ankles just because Barack Obama is black? Do you think there's any chance in hell Rush Limbaugh could bend over and grab his ankles?

bumfug March 3, 2012 at 5:02 pm

The only way Rush could grab his ankles would be to amputate his legs.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 12:49 am

Or break his back. I really don't care which.

BigRadio March 3, 2012 at 5:07 pm

It's even tougher with a Blue Pill hard-on.

mrsbitch March 3, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Pish-tosh! Not when it's only 3". Or so I've heard. Eww.

Loaded_Pants March 3, 2012 at 5:23 pm

He can't even grab his elbows.

not that Dewey March 3, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Okay — are y'all done talking about Rush grabbing shit? I need to put my stomach lining back in, and I don't want to have to do it twice.

bagofmice March 3, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Meh, stomach lining grows back in a few hours. Esophageal lining is not so resilient.

Guppy March 3, 2012 at 7:32 pm

The last time he even saw his ankles was on a milk carton.

bagofmice March 3, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Daaaaaaamn. That was good.

dyedwool March 3, 2012 at 4:59 pm

So the "nuclear option" is slut shaming? On behalf of sluts everywhere, we'll take it!

Terry March 3, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Aren't you glad that none of these fools has actual input on using a real nuclear option?

dyedwool March 3, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Hahahahaha! Small comfort. But yes.

Also glad I'm not fucking any of them.

coolhandnuke March 3, 2012 at 5:00 pm

It's Rush week at the Republican frat house. Let the hazings begin.
"Thank you sir may I have another."

bumfug March 3, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Don't fret about Rush – that fat fuck's about three Oxycontins away from doing a Morning Zoo show with Breitbart.

BigRadio March 3, 2012 at 5:09 pm

The definition of insanity.

Designer_Rants March 3, 2012 at 6:08 pm

I love that. Now to find the clip of Brian and Stewie's version of the radio show. …meh, I gave it a minute-thirty. Can't find it.

BigRadio March 3, 2012 at 6:11 pm

I posted this clip the other day after watching that Föx mash-up about Gitmo. I've got to run, but I hope someone finds the Stewie and Brian version.

anniegetyerfun March 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm
Designer_Rants March 4, 2012 at 6:28 am

Good finding, annie! But you must have one of them fancy "pay" accounts? It just shows me a preview.

Neoyorquino March 3, 2012 at 5:01 pm

"Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." – Kurt Vonnegut

not that Dewey March 3, 2012 at 8:20 pm

That's my new facebook quote.

Sharkey March 3, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Rush Limbaugh's mom is the real slut here.

Lascauxcaveman March 3, 2012 at 6:57 pm

That may be a bit unfair, but you can tell she surely did something wrong, by the results.

Geminisunmars March 3, 2012 at 7:36 pm

I understand she is a perfectly nice woman who for some reason has changed her name and moved to another part of the world.

Dudleydidwrong March 3, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Yes. She is a nice person. Limpballs is an acquired son of a bitch.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 4, 2012 at 7:43 am

Rush is lucky he doesn't bark.

orygoon March 3, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Gifts-to-overflowing or not, I still hope Fluke sues the shit out of that pusbag.

blogmomme March 3, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Brfore he dies of "natural" causes while walking his neighborhood at midnight like ABreitbart passing before S Sherrod'c case against him went to court.

RavenRant March 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Can she enter as evidence of damages the 10,000 rape threats and death threats she's going to receive after having the laser of hate focused on her for three full days?

tcaalaw March 3, 2012 at 5:05 pm

So we're saying Rush is a political suicide bomber?

BigRadio March 3, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Breaking News:
Russ Limbaugh is a Misogynist.

Banelm March 4, 2012 at 9:30 am

Really. This guy has been spouting the same lines for, what, 30 years? And now all of a sudden everyone gets all offended. I blame the internets.

beavertank March 3, 2012 at 5:14 pm

I salute this man for his tenacity in spending decades spouting the most reprehensible pap all to maintain his cover and, one day, strike a blow for freedom and progressive causes.

The paychecks and prescription drug abuse probably helped dull the sting a bit, but still. This man is a deep cover hero.

Today, we all salute you Rush Limbaugh. Greatest of the secret liberals.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 12:53 am

Have you ever seen Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh at the same time?

I didn't think so.

Mrspanky March 4, 2012 at 12:17 pm

As the late-great Rastaman, Bob Marley once sang: "Sometimes your best friend can be your worst enemy; and your worst enemy can be your best friend…"

Ah, El Rushbo! Thanks for fearless undercover work on behalf of us lefties!

SexySmurf March 3, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Limbaugh has been married four times and has no children. Either all his wives were sluts, or his little ditto head is just too small to even fit.

SpiderCrab March 3, 2012 at 5:26 pm

I hope he wanted children.

horsedreamer_1 March 3, 2012 at 5:44 pm

That would be a violation of the probation order.

SolitaireRose March 3, 2012 at 7:53 pm

I've seen the prenups. They are prostitutes.

Callyson March 3, 2012 at 10:22 pm

What woman would do him *without* compensation? Hell, he should thank his lucky stars that there are prostitutes willing to take his money…

fuflans March 3, 2012 at 7:54 pm

gross gross gross gross.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 12:57 am

…or, he's PIITB. Putting it in the boys, that is.

smitallica March 3, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Today, we are all bloated, drug-addicted, hyposcritical, serially married…

Aww, fuck it. I hate this asshole.

BaldarTFlagass March 3, 2012 at 5:20 pm

"Secret Liberal Rush Limbaugh Cleverly Kills Republican Party"

Worst. Deep. Cover. Mole. Ever.

Or best?

BlueStateLibel March 3, 2012 at 5:32 pm

It would seem to make his job a whole lot easier if Obama got re-elected, wouldn't it?

Chet Kincaid March 3, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Doesn't make a difference, he flourished under Bush. In fact, he and his crowd get even bigger jollies from bullying when they are in charge.

HistoriCat March 5, 2012 at 11:03 am

Needs more John Le Carre.

Chet Kincaid March 3, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Republican politicians are so deathly frightened of getting on Rush Limbaugh's bad side that their Presidential candidates can't even acknowledge how far over the line he went. As long as Limbaugh, Grover Norquist and the Religious Right hold veto power over people and policies for the Republicans, no thinking person will ever take them seriously. Unfortunately, thinking people are America's #1 Minority.

ChessieNefercat March 3, 2012 at 6:17 pm

I was reading chirpily along with you, nodding my head. Then I read the last sentence. Shit.

Doktor Zoom March 3, 2012 at 5:21 pm

As I mentioned Friday morning, one of the women at my office pretty much started the day by announcing how angry Limbaugh's dickishness made her–and somehow she had never heard his proclamation that "Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream."

I don't want this fucker to apologize. I want him, and his followers, to double down and reveal their utter contempt for women until they manage to alienate even right-wing church ladies.

Designer_Rants March 3, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Same reasons I want Santorum to get the Repub nom. The 90% of Americans who couldn't give 2 shits about politics will not be able to ignore what an insane person this man is, and it MAY even sink in that he's also a REPUBLICAN. And then, if those people actually find themselves in a voting booth on the right day in November, they MAY even remember that they shouldn't vote for candidates with (R) next to their name.

But what do I know? Bill Maher seems to think Obama's going to lose reelection, as he throws a $million into his superPAC.

Geminisunmars March 3, 2012 at 7:43 pm

I think Bill just doesn't want us to get too complacent, and I think he has a point.

bagofmice March 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

About a million of them.

chicken_thief March 3, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Dittos, D_R, plus I'm tired of hearing my conservative friends and relatives lament that whoever wasn't a *real* conservative. And how a *real* conservative would have done so much better blah blah blah. Ok, here he is, motherfuckers – Mr. Conservative. Put him up against moderate Obama and watch him get his ass handed to him nationwide.

Do it and STFU!!!!

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 9:20 am

It's the "Give 'em enough rope" strategy and it's working magnificently.

Banelm March 4, 2012 at 9:35 am

You forget, Conservatism CANNOT fail, it can only be failed. If Santorum runs and loses, it will be because he wasn't conservative enough, and a Catholic to boot.
If only we had a Real conservative running…

BaldarTFlagass March 3, 2012 at 5:21 pm

So, the new boss got ya working weekends, WJ?

Data Exactly March 3, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Rush Limbaugh can add "Caller of young people sluts" to all of the babble he starts his segments off with.

MiniMencken March 3, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Well, Wonkette, Jr., since you put it that way…

Rotundo_ March 3, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Four times married without a "Rusty Jr." to show for it. I don't know if it is the miracle of modern pharmaceuticals, the incredible luck of being infertile, or that the marriages have all been shams to disguise a different sexual orientation, but I think we should all be delighted that Rush has not sired a replacement. I cannot imagine how twisted the little one would be with El Rushbo as a dad, and one of the stepford moms as mother.

horsedreamer_1 March 3, 2012 at 5:45 pm

He could adopt one, like Reagan.

Chet Kincaid March 3, 2012 at 5:30 pm

The Gasbag just apologized, per TPM and his execrable website:
http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entries/rus
http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2012/03/03/a_st

gullywompr March 3, 2012 at 5:40 pm

What a surrender monkey!

horsedreamer_1 March 3, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Or maybe he ran out of ammo.

BarackMyWorld March 3, 2012 at 10:30 pm

I forgot all about that particular ad hominem. Thanks.

gullywompr March 3, 2012 at 5:45 pm

From now on he is going to be a Compassionate Conservative™, I guess.

Oops, there goes his ratings, and thus, even more of his sponsors.

MadBrahms March 3, 2012 at 5:46 pm

"I'm sorry my statements seemed like a personal assault on Ms. Fluke. I intended them to be an assault on the dignity of women everywhere. Nothing personal."

not that Dewey March 3, 2012 at 5:56 pm

I'm not sure I'd call that an apology. He acknowledged that he said something offensive (dog bites man), and then blamed Ms Fluke's defenders and supporters for the controversy for having defended and supported her and for discussing public health issues in public.

"Apology" not accepted.

beavertank March 3, 2012 at 6:03 pm

And a written apology, posted only to his website, is not exactly what I'd call "enough" after spending days on-air insulting this woman.

usernameguy March 3, 2012 at 5:58 pm

He's going the Romney route: "I'm sorry for my choice of words. I should have thought up a more roundabout way to call her a slut and a whore."

Note that he's not sorry for saying women on birth control should send him their sex tapes.

beavertank March 3, 2012 at 6:04 pm

What exactly would a gay man do with such an impressive collection of amateur heterosexual porn?

horsedreamer_1 March 3, 2012 at 6:24 pm

A hole's a hole.

BigRadio March 3, 2012 at 5:59 pm

"Sorry, I meant to call you a cunt."

What's absurd is this turd, nee Rusty Sharpe, makes $50 million dollars a year. All I know is that he is a fat pig.

Designer_Rants March 3, 2012 at 6:21 pm

"My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir," Limbaugh says in the statement. "I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices."

Limbaugh goes on to criticize the the plan to expand insurance coverage of contraception, and ding President Obama.

Sounds like the height of sincerity and pertinence.

FlownOver March 3, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Fuck him, and the horse who rode in on him.

sati_demise March 3, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Indeed.

reliefsinn March 3, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Well said, sir or madame!

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 1:27 am

Damnit, that poor horse has suffered enough. Think of having to carry that load.

poncho_pilot March 4, 2012 at 12:14 pm

and the road is long with many a winding turn.

Tilley March 3, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Well isn't that special. An "apology" carefully constructed by his lawyers and emitted by one of his handlers in an arrogantly tardy attempt to ward off litigation and halt the exodus of sponsors. Sit on it and rotate, you fat jackass.

glamourdammerung March 3, 2012 at 7:10 pm

A half-assed apology that neglects to correct the outright lies he spewed about this woman is not going to help him win a court case, especially when he double-downed on the stupidity the day before.

banana_bread March 3, 2012 at 7:45 pm

"What happened to personal responsibility and accountability? Where do we draw the line? If this is accepted as the norm, what will follow? Will we be debating if taxpayers should pay for new sneakers for all students that are interested in running to keep fit?"

oh for the love of- RUNNING SHOES ARE NOT DRUGS, YOU FLAMING SHITSACK

Chet Kincaid March 3, 2012 at 7:53 pm

But since he wants to go there, there are plenty of employers who will discount your portion of your health insurance premiums if you join a health club, so that they don't have to pay for your quadruple bypass later.

anniegetyerfun March 3, 2012 at 8:52 pm

You have to admit, the idea that anyone might want to exercise is probably really foreign to him. The very sight of a sneaker probably makes him retch, before scaring a wheelbarrow full of cheeseburgers and Viagra.

Callyson March 3, 2012 at 10:26 pm

And now I have enough motivation to get myself out for a run or to the gym for at least the rest of this lifetime…

Nostrildamus March 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Clever using a written apology so that none of his fans will know.

poncho_pilot March 4, 2012 at 12:17 pm

if he did have to verbally apologize would he spell the whole thing out?

"Okay, look. I-A-M-S-O-R-R-Y. not now, daddy's busy."

BarackMyWorld March 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm

How much you want to bet he keeps talking about this all week, and framing himself as the victim?

Actual quote: "What happened to personal responsibility and accountability?"

What indeed, Rush. What indeed…

Callyson March 3, 2012 at 10:27 pm

The trolls on HuffyPo have been claiming that *Obama* is using this issue to detract from discussions about the economy. Too bad that, one, *they* are the ones who started in on this issue, and two, the economy is finally getting better, despite their obstructionism.

Jukesgrrl March 4, 2012 at 12:14 am

They're not far off from the tone of AP's "breaking news" to announce Rush's non-apology. The article basically reported that "a Rush Limbaugh comment was turned into a huge controversy by the Democrats because Obama can use it to his advantage." I guess the Associated Press accepts Santorum's claim that Rush is an "entertainer."

Callyson March 3, 2012 at 10:24 pm

"I'm sorry I finally said something that will offend people who matter–my advertisers."

ElPinche March 4, 2012 at 12:31 am

I suggest harikiri form of apology. It's the only way I'll accept it.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 4, 2012 at 8:10 am

Can you lend him a rusty chainsaw?

poncho_pilot March 4, 2012 at 12:19 pm

or a light saber?

HistoriCat March 5, 2012 at 11:08 am

Like he would ever be able to start a rusty chainsaw.

NellCote71 March 5, 2012 at 11:15 am

I really can't imagine a sword long enough for him to fall on or one he could hold with his chubby arms far enough away from his body to do any actual harm. But either way, good idea.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 1:10 am

Shorter "apology": I'm sorry if you sluts were offended, you whore-sluts. Can't you take a joke, you prostitutes? Guess not. So, yeah, sorry.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 4, 2012 at 8:10 am

Apology for a "poor choice of words" — but not for the message.

Somebody must ask this fuckwit, ASAP, what words he thinks he should have used, to convey that precise message.

I hope this fat, hateful prick loses every last one of his sponsors. I've sent emails to all of 'em, saying I'm not touching their products, ever, unless they yank their ads.

BarackMyWorld March 3, 2012 at 5:30 pm

I still could never understand how someone this irrational and bigoted could have such a prominent position in political discourse. I'm glad the rest of America is waking up to this, but it was about 20 years too late. His ignorance and stupidity was all laid out right there in his two books from the early 1990s, but people just kept treating him like a legitimate shaper of public opinion.

sati_demise March 3, 2012 at 7:20 pm

They give his program away for FREE in Americas Heartland ™

sati_demise March 3, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Clear Channel=Bain Capital (Mitt Rmoney)

bagofmice March 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Before I met the rest of the world, I used to program the VCR to tape episodes for my parents. It makes me appreciate the subtlety of the Colbert report, as they use the exact same set design for going to the interview portion of the show. Two desks, wall of awards, it's a sublime parody.

Loaded_Pants March 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

I remember Rush's TV show. That shit was on for 4 fuckin' years. He had no guests and part of the set included an entire bookshelf in the background filled with copies of his awful books (most of them displayed to show their front covers). His "audience" was filled with idiotic clappin' & cheerin' ditto-idiots.
My boss couldn't get enough of Rush. Rush's show aired locally at 12:30 after the noon local news, so he tuned it in during our lunch break. But after that? Rush's radio show came on promptly at 1 p.m. on the nearest AM talk radio station. And our boss tune in to that, too. So we had to suffer daily through hours of Rush. Ugh.

BarackMyWorld March 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Our local station aired it at 1am and always put a disclaimer before it. One of the advantages of living in an urban media market…

not that Dewey March 4, 2012 at 1:26 am

put a disclaimer before it.

Do you mean "the views expressed in the following program do not necessarily reflect…?

Bullshit. If a TV interest, who has free use of the public spectrum, airs a tv show that centers itself around hate-fllled invective, they own it. I don't care what their lawyers say. They had the option on NOT showing Rush on the air, and they chose to waive that option. Bullshit.

Pithaughn March 4, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Speaking of Rush and loaded pants. I had to BM at my wife's relatives out in the sticks of KS. For crapper reading material they had an EBI publication of some sort. I tore out a few sheets, crinkled them up, wiped and did not flush. Never heard another word from those fine folks.

fartknocker March 3, 2012 at 10:15 pm

If I could more thumbs up I would. Well said.

gullywompr March 3, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Dammit! More Saturday posts? I told you a fucking thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos!

Neoyorquino March 3, 2012 at 5:44 pm

They already posted it.

gullywompr March 3, 2012 at 5:47 pm

I must have missed it, because I wasn't rolling.

Designer_Rants March 3, 2012 at 6:24 pm

And how the hell are we supposed to get 2,000 comments on every weekend post? I don't think I'm getting paid enough for this anymore!

poncho_pilot March 4, 2012 at 12:40 pm

will you come off it, Gullywompr? you're not even fucking Jewish, man.

Doktor Zoom March 4, 2012 at 5:19 pm

You're out of your element, Donny!

BigRadio March 3, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Glad to see the same bravery Mitts exhibited during the Vietnam War.
"I'll just say this, which is, it's not the language I would have used."

Biel_ze_Bubba March 4, 2012 at 8:17 am

Again with the "poor choice of language" horseshit. OK, MItt, tell us: how would you have said that she wants to get paid for sex? Because whatever the words, that's what the fat fuck said.

horsedreamer_1 March 3, 2012 at 5:47 pm

That will be the next defense from the Right: Rush Limbaugh, draft dodging rock n roll listening dropout was a false flag operation of the Left, just like Eisenhower.

Doktor Zoom March 3, 2012 at 5:50 pm

You know, maybe we should see what our friends at Free Republic have to say about all this…

He didn’t say she was a slut. SHE CLAIMED SHE WAS A SLUT. And – she claimed that since she was a slut, she was entitled to have other people pay for her birth control. This story really presents the Left for what they are.

Let’s get real, if her name was Kardashian or Snooki and said on TV she “is having so much sex she is going broke”, all of these same people whining about what Rush said would be calling her a slut. [Yes, this person actually thinks FLUKE said those words.]

DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF SLUT: “an offensive term for a woman thought to be sexually promiscuous.” Let’s see .. Sandra Fluke wants taxpayers to pay for her contraception pills because she claims that her bills already add up to $3,000 a year.
With a bill like that, how many times does she have sex a day? Doesn’t she even get tired? When does she find time to study law?
[Yes, because you totally understand how birth control pills work.]

I think we need to FLOOD John Boehner’s office with protests that he has come out against RUSH! I JUST called. [Number deleted]

[ Fluke has since called Limbaugh’s comments “inappropriate” and “outside the bounds of civil discourse.” ]
Who the hell gets to define “civil discourse”? This chick really seems to have a problem with the first amendment.
Because disagreeing is censorship?

Times really have changed. When the whole 7th fleet sailed through your bedroom in the past, the slut would ensure the sailor provided contraceptives, not the taxpayer.

This is the exact same goal as the homosexual marriage jihadists. Once it is a Constitutional right for homosexuals to marry, they will seek out Bible believing Christian churches to demand that they perform their weddings. If refused, the church is gone *poof* just like what they are attempting to do with the Catholic Church. If they succeed now, it will not be long before all references to homosexuality, or any immoral sexual behavior, be expunged from the Bible and Torah, and mentioning immorality in a condescending tone will be met with prison time.

Still don’t see why a rug muncher needs contraception. If she’s getting any, it’d be of the latex variety.

If we are going to pay for her plentiful and expensive sex, we should at least get the slut sex tapes for our money. Disgusting. Liberals are disgusting.

ANY one who is brazen enough to stand before congress and ask for public assistance in the amount of $3000 a year for CONDUMS deserves being ridiculed!

There would probably be even less sleeping around if there were no contraceptives in the first place. Aha. There's the money quote. Thank you, Dr. Science

Near the end of the thread, a brave soul, "MeanGreen2008," points out how hormonal birth control actually works, and points out that contraception is far less expensive for insurers and taxpayers than unwanted pregnancies. Needless to say, that poster is derided as a socialist.

Isn't insurance kind of socialist to start with…?

Oh, and finally, someone who's figured out who the REAL victim is here: Limbaugh was a fool. Unable to resist his talent for ridicule, he fell right into the trap Obama and Pelosi had laid for him: instead of keeping his eye on the ball — freedom of religion — he bought into the Obama narrative that this is all about contraception and access thereto.

Love his .sig: " by Romulus (The Traditional Latin Mass is the real Youth Mass) "

MadBrahms March 3, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Of course the entire premise is wrong; if they had spent the five seconds it took them to put "slut" into a dictionary into actually reading about her testimony, they'd know that it wasn't dealing with her own wanton sexuality (gasp! wandering wombs!) but with a fellow student who needed birth control because of a serious health issue, i.e. ovarian cysts.

But of course freepers are radical democrats: slut shaming for everyone! God, I don't even want to know what the conversations look like on MRA websites right now.

Doktor Zoom March 3, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Oh, a couple of them mentioned that. It proves that not only is Fluke a slut, she's a filthy ugly lesbo slut. As are all other women associated with the Obama administration

Haw Haw.

Swampgas_Man March 3, 2012 at 6:29 pm

No way in hell I'm clicking that link.

Doktor Zoom March 3, 2012 at 6:15 pm

heh…OK, so in an attempt to see what they think of Rush's not-pology, I rather hurriedly googled "Limbaugh apology free republic"–and got back an astonishing number of Freeper posts regarding various OTHER shit that various people have asked Limbaugh to apologize for. Classy dude.

not that Dewey March 3, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Rush Limbaugh is this generation's Anthony Fremont. They're liteally scared shitless to do or say anything except "what a GOOD thing you've said, calling her a slut. That was REALLY GOOD."

EDIT: What exactly is the cornfield in my analogy? I can't figure out what these people are so afraid of.

Doktor Zoom March 3, 2012 at 8:40 pm

It's a socialist cornfield full of homos, atheists, and Loose Women.

poncho_pilot March 4, 2012 at 12:46 pm

that actually sounds like a damn good time.

Doktor Zoom March 4, 2012 at 5:17 pm

A fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

RavenRant March 3, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I have a few people I would like wished into the cornfield. I have a list for little Anthony, if he comes around.

FlownOver March 3, 2012 at 6:24 pm

This last guy sucks wolf tit.

[not you, ntD]

not that Dewey March 3, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Whew!

not that Dewey March 3, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Once upon a time, "wolf tit" was a Wonkette meme. She-wolf-who-cannot-be-named (well, maybe that's changed now that Ken is gone. Anyway, she's retreated from public view) once bared her breast, to the derision of many Wonketteers.

OWLS CAN YOU HEAR ME?

not that Dewey March 3, 2012 at 6:52 pm

This guy connects the dots for us:

To: broken_arrow1
Limbaugh used this issue to provide cover over not discussing Arpaio’s report.

37 posted on Saturday, March 03, 2012 7:08:19 AM by Godebert (NO PERSON EXCEPT A NATURAL BORN CITIZEN!)

I thought Obama murdered Breitbart to draw fire away from Arpaio's Report. Now Rush is in on it, too?!??! Wheels within wheels.

not that Dewey March 3, 2012 at 7:19 pm

There are some comments on The Blaze to rival those on Freep:

Teufel Hunden
Posted on March 3, 2012 at 5:32pm

I don‘t want to pay for her contraceptives unless I’m doing her, in which case the govt would need to supply me with a guide dog and some Viagra..
Teufel Hunden Log in to Reply

CatB
Posted on March 3, 2012 at 5:37pm

LOL … perfect!

Doktor Zoom March 3, 2012 at 7:33 pm

OK, so here's the FR thread on the notpology, headlined "A Statement from Rush (Rush offers apology to Slut!)"

Just a couple of the highlights:

The left was losing this debate bigtime until he used the word "slut". Now let's go back to them losing again.

Unbelieveable.
This is why the left wins….THEY don’t back down.
[This one may be my favorite...Clearly, it's why we have the Public Option, an end to the Bush tax cuts, and the closure of Gitmo...]

That IS that. When even Rush Libaugh surrenders to the PC crowd, we are truly, duly doomed as a nation.

Fluke is a socialist/marxist/communist/fascist/revolutionary/islamic sympathizer PLANT. Mother Pelosi and Father Oboma were her handlers…and Saul Alinsky and his tactics are their god. We're at war! We MUST keep fighting these slimes until we destroy every last one of them. It will be a 24 hours a day, 7 day a week job….are you up to it? Remember..you must be IN IT to WIN IT! [Mind you, he doesn't actually mean violence]

The nitwits at the FNC (FOX Neocon Channel) mentioned this a second ago and ONLY read the part where Rush apologizes to America’s most famous slut.
*SIGH* FOX. Good for a while……then kerplunk!

We must support our conservative warriors, warts and all. Can’t completely agree with Rush’s tactics? Then agree to disagree with him on this one and CONTINUE to stand by Rush.
See ya’ Monday, Rush. We’re all in this together and we must stand united and strong…or we will perish at the hands of socialism. Lock arms and win this war!

They fight dirty. Our side is too nicey nice.
That’s why we get our asses kicked.
It’s past time to get our hands dirty.

An apology was neither necessary nor appropriate. God bestowed upon us the gift of sex in order that we might multiply. God is cheated and His will is defiled by the use of contraceptives. Having sex divorced from the possibility of procreation is like spitting in the face of God. Rush is wrong to apologize and by doing so he is tacitly endorsing slutty behaviors.

Monday when I get to work I’m going to tell a woman that was defending the slut that she’s a plant and a lesbien and lesbien’s don’t need contraceprives. Batteries, maybe but contraceptives, no. That woman will go bananas when I say that. [Oh, to be the HR manager at that place...]

This phony contraception “issue” was planned at the highest levels by the DNC and Obama 2012 campaign. It was discussed for months. They despeately needed a wedge issue to win back the women they lost in 2010, or Obama would lose. And this is what they came up with. It revealed itself first as a seemingly bizarre question by George Stephanopoulos at that debate. It certainly doesn’t seem bizarre now – because we have been played by the best, step-by-step according to how Dr. Alinsky wrote it. And we fell for it. Rush fell into it. Sandra Fluke will one day be looked back at in the same way as Anita Hill. And make no mistake, this is going to hurt us BIG TIME on November 6th. When will we LEARN the Alinsky method, instead of merely being serial victims of it? [Poor, helpless wingtards, forced by the bad ol' Alinskyites to treat an administrative rule about health insurance as if it were the Anschluss. I weep for them.]

Nostrildamus March 3, 2012 at 9:49 pm

This is the level of insight and erudition I associate with the National Review. He should apply for a position there.

RavenRant March 3, 2012 at 9:54 pm

You are brave, getting out of the boat and all. Thank you for your service.

Loaded_Pants March 3, 2012 at 10:56 pm

These brave Wonketteers who are willing to wade through & even collect some of this santorum deserve a medal & a pension for life, IMO. But that would probably be more sociamalism thanks to the Obammer regime.

deanbooth March 3, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Having sex divorced from the possibility of procreation is like spitting in the face of God.

Giving a blow job is like spitting in the face of God? …I can never watch porn again.

chicken_thief March 3, 2012 at 10:34 pm

There needs to be a Godwin's Law equivalent for Saul Alinsky references.

Callyson March 3, 2012 at 11:37 pm

The left was losing this debate bigtime until he used the word "slut". Now let's go back to them losing again.
Really–that's what they think? The roughly 60% of Americans (depending on which poll you look at) who support the Obama administration on this issue = a win for the wingnuts? OK then, I'll take as many of those "wins" for the righties as I can get….

Biel_ze_Bubba March 4, 2012 at 9:07 am

You have to make allowances for the Fucks Gnus universe in which these cretins live, full-time.

Doktor Zoom March 4, 2012 at 11:57 am

Didn't you see the comments? Fox is now full of RINOS now, and is not to be trusted anymore. They have betrayed Conservatism, and America.

Some of these guys would have loved the French Revolution…

bagofmice March 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

homosexual marriage jihadists.

My brain hurts so much I had to reboot twice. Ow.

I mean technically if you understand jihad as a struggle, it makes a certain kind of sense, but obviously he is using the verb jihad as an invective, and not so much as a verb. It's Sarah Palin grammar. "bad thing bad thing bad thing, link, good thing good thing good thing".

Tl;dr, I want to headbutt their English teachers.

FannyBurney March 3, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Oh, good, Rush. Now explain to me why MY health insurance has to pay for YOUR Viagra, you tedious gasbag. I've been subsidizing your erections ever since the stuff was invented.

Callyson March 3, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Seriously. Four wives, and he wants to call someone *else* a slut?

Biel_ze_Bubba March 5, 2012 at 10:52 am

So we're paying money in order for him to have sex? Using an appropriate choice of words, what does that make him? Other than a fat bag of fetid hypocrisy.

SheriffRoscoe March 3, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Very well, but I'm still not going to apologize to Rush for calling him a "fat pig-boy" yesterday, for his taking statins when he could just as easily give up his daily platter of bacon.

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Please, Sheriff, I have too much love for bacon to see it positioned in the same sentence with "Rush". Couldn't we just use "his daily platter of santorum" from now on?

chicken_thief March 3, 2012 at 10:36 pm

"They can have my platter of bacon when they pry it from my cold, dead hands." ~ Rush

Biel_ze_Bubba March 5, 2012 at 10:54 am

There's a sale on crowbars at Home Depot…

HistoriCat March 5, 2012 at 11:18 am

I'm OK with those terms.

AlaskaGrrl March 3, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Does Red State and World Nut Daily know about this? If Rush is part of the secret conspiracy, what about Beck? What about Fox Spews? OMG! How far does this go? Gotta add another to them tinfoil hats people.

bikerlaureate March 3, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Oxy-blob I am
Mr. Reality
The most important thing
I brag about my toys

With my microphone
I do a super show
I'll denounce the sinner
On the radio


A big big mess
He was all mixed up and a
Big mess
Big mess
He was a
He was really mixed up

poncho_pilot March 4, 2012 at 12:55 pm

i lie with precision.
i'm a boy with bags of fun.
i've got a blue pill in my pocket
for the lucky one.

smitallica March 3, 2012 at 6:04 pm

I think it's funny that Limbaugh is getting pilloried for proving he's a misogynist, but has gotten away, every day for over 20 years, with being a shameless fucking liar.

Seriously, can someone name me one prediction, accusation, or analysis of a situation about which he has been even remotely correct? EVER?

Jukesgrrl March 4, 2012 at 12:27 am

When I think of Rush, I remember a billboard that was up in Tucson the week Gabby Giffords was shot. The billboard read: "Rush Limbaugh. Straight Shooter." and it was designed to look as if it was riddled with bullet holes.

It took a lot of complaints to Clear Channel, but it finally came down, with some whining from them that Rush had press representation they weren't responsible for.

BigRadio March 3, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Hey now that Russ has apologized, does Rebecca have to do a Wonkette correction? Yippee, another weekend post.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 5, 2012 at 10:54 am

If the correction lasts more than four hours…

rocktonsam March 3, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Its most certain that any woman that had sex with Mush used birth control.

they should be thanked for saving a generation.

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Too bad none of them used good taste control.

NellCote71 March 5, 2012 at 11:20 am

I seriously doubt these beards have to have sex with Rush. They are getting paid for other things.

DCBloom March 3, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Sorta a backhanded apology. Read the whole release….

/For over 20 years, I have illustrated the absurd with absurdity, three hours a day, five days a week. In this instance, I chose the wrong words in my analogy of the situation. I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke.

I think it is absolutely absurd that during these very serious political times, we are discussing personal sexual recreational activities before members of Congress. I personally do not agree that American citizens should pay for these social activities. What happened to personal responsibility and accountability? Where do we draw the line? If this is accepted as the norm, what will follow? Will we be debating if taxpayers should pay for new sneakers for all students that are interested in running to keep fit?In my monologue, I posited that it is not our business whatsoever to know what is going on in anyone's bedroom nor do I think it is a topic that should reach a Presidential level.

My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices.

BarackMyWorld March 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm
Chichikovovich March 3, 2012 at 6:15 pm

"My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir," Limbaugh says in the statement. "I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices."

That's what people are calling an apology?

"I should not have called Ms. Fluke a slut and a prostitute. Those words were improper. I should have called her a woman of dubious sexual morality and a sex-worker, and rather than asking her to post sex videos online I should have used the phrase "self-produced erotic films". In describing every woman who has used birth control paid for by a health insurance plan ( a cost-neutral offering, not one that increases premiums) as a prostitute, who will not have sex unless someone else pays for it, I should have said "sex worker" there too.

I wish to reaffirm that I meant everything I said, but I used words that make Republican ladies feel I am crass, and I regret that.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Yours, The Bloated Gasbag."

Barb March 3, 2012 at 7:22 pm

That is the hand job of all apologies.

Guppy March 3, 2012 at 8:11 pm

He should have chosen "nappy-headed ho."

imissopus March 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

I was just skimming over his apology, and he still thinks the whole problem is that taxpayers are going to have to foot the bill so women can have all the pill-protected sexytime they want.

"Sorry I called you a slut out loud. I'm just a concerned citizen who does not want you sluts' slutty behavior to be federally subsidized. You slut."

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

That's what people are calling an attempt at humor?

not that Dewey March 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

{gasbag} rhymes with {Gulag}

Monsieur_Grumpe March 3, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Let's see. Spewing hate for millions of dollars or working for the betterment of woman’s health.
Who is the real slut?
One guess is all you get.

Callyson March 3, 2012 at 10:43 pm

(pointing to the Republicans in power) "All of 'em, Katie."

Doktor Zoom March 3, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I think it is absolutely absurd that during these very serious political times, we are discussing personal sexual recreational activities before members of Congress.

Yeah, because that's TOTALLY what Fluke testified about.

Behold Rush Limbaugh: A man who can actually LIE while "apologizing."

not that Dewey March 3, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Losing Sleepnumber as a sponsor was clearly the Kryptonite for Rush.

CivicHoliday March 3, 2012 at 6:57 pm

My husband works for that company. The stock LITERALLY started dropping every day after that "slut" comment. I have a feeling the reason he apologized had nothing to do with Orange Bonerman calling him up to complain, it was that his corporate overlords threatened to remove his gold-plated buttplug and lock up the champagne and caviar. He cried and offered to teabag them but it was no use. He was forced to issue a public backhanded complement.

not that Dewey March 3, 2012 at 7:12 pm

That's not so surprising. I was only half-joking (about the Oxycontin addiction causing him to need to sleep a lot). As I mentioned upthread, that wasn't much of an apology, and it won't be enough. Credo and Change.org and MoveOn will continue to keep pressure on the remaining advertisers in light of/despite this non-apology. Rush fears the panicking avalanche of fleeing sponsors more than he misses the 5 advertisers who have already bailed.

trampndirtdown March 3, 2012 at 8:26 pm

he just lost Carbonite as well http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entries/car

Biel_ze_Bubba March 5, 2012 at 10:56 am

Must have been my e-mail that did it. I gave 'em 48 hours before they'd lose my account.

HistoriCat March 5, 2012 at 11:22 am

When Bielzy talks, corporations listen.

mschouette March 3, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Republican men are so fucking transparent. The heterosexual ones that have no hope of getting anything remotely resembling hot sex? They're the most misogynist. The ones that are the most homophobic? Gay to the core. The ones that are the biggest horn dogs? They preach family values. Do they think we don't see this?

valthemus March 3, 2012 at 6:28 pm

"Damn! The slut is costing me money! Guess I better apologize."

ChessieNefercat March 3, 2012 at 7:18 pm

I think the word apologize needs quotes around it.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm

"I'm sorry if my advertisers were offended."

Wadisay March 3, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Come right down to it, Rush could honestly say that he's always liked sluts.

RavenRant March 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

"I have a slut friend!"

Chichikovovich March 3, 2012 at 10:39 pm

"I've always had a great relationship with the sluts."

RavenRant March 3, 2012 at 10:49 pm

"In fact, I didn't even say slut. I said sluh."

ChessieNefercat March 3, 2012 at 6:32 pm

That fat fuck did not apologize! "I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke." No, no, no. One verbal slip, maybe (not) you get a pass. But for three days you escalated your attack, excoriating her over and over and repeatedly in every vile way possible. Also too, you bloated pus-ridden abscess on humanity? You LIED about what she said. Repeatedly. You fucking LIED. I didn't see any non-apology for that.

She never asked for you or anyone else to pay for her personal needs. She thought her PRIVATE employer-provided health insurance plan should cover contraception. Taxpayers have nothing to do it.

And? Insurance is pooling people with a myriad of lifestyles, genetics, and good and bad luck together. To keep the cost down for everyone.

I don't want to pay for your fruitless attempts to get your depressed little winkie up, or the costs of your terrible eating habits or the costs of your smoking, or of your drug habits. But that's how insurance works, you stupid gasbag.

You don't get to point fingers at others. I still remember my mother years ago blathering on about not wanting to pay for "gay lifestyle illnesses." She had no problem with the taxpayers paying her her cardiac bypasses, etc, due to her self-indulgent eating habits and total lack of exercise.

The bastard didn't apologize for his repeated attacks, and he didn't apologize for his repeated lies about what Fluke said.

Too little, too insincere, and too damn late.

Chet Kincaid March 3, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Yes, of course, the quote marks are implied whenever one of these wingnuts "apologizes."

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

I wish I could upfist this til the end of time.

reliefsinn March 3, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Fuck these people, if you want to have sex, and you're a young woman, you're a "slut", if you don't want to have sex, you're a "frigid bitch", if you're an older woman, doesn't matter if you want sex or not, you're an object of real contempt, either a sexless, middle-aged, menopausal hag or an object of pity, a "cougar" at best.
So screw these people and their total hatred of women.

Callyson March 3, 2012 at 10:45 pm

And if you want to have sex, but not with a wingnut, you are a fucking bitch.
Making me proud to be in that particular category.

pinkocommi March 3, 2012 at 6:34 pm

The irony is that there is no bigger slut than Rush Limbaugh who whores out his persona as a mouthpiece of the far right to make a buck. There is no more fitting fate than for him to spend the rest of his days on earth being the fat fuck Rush Limbaugh. Hopefully off the air.

Joshua Norton March 3, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Today, we salute Rush Limbaugh, a hero and a patriot.

That would violate the separation of jerk and state!

Slim_Pickins March 3, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Wonkette weekend edition? How things have changed. This blog used to shutdown at about 10am on Thursdays like Congress.

Lascauxcaveman March 3, 2012 at 6:47 pm

We always suspected Barry was a master at 3D chess, but Rush?

Nostrildamus March 3, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Rush is a master at 11-dimensional fat deposition.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Loses regularly at tic-tac-toe.

CivicHoliday March 3, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Hey wait a minute Wonketteers, where did the corrections thread go? Did we embarrass the new girl too much about her attempts at giving this site integrity and she took it down?

Chet Kincaid March 3, 2012 at 7:05 pm

It's right over there.

CivicHoliday March 3, 2012 at 7:41 pm

when I go back to the main page I'm not seeing it. weird…

Chet Kincaid March 3, 2012 at 7:45 pm

I just looked at the main page, and it's there. Maybe flush your browser cache?

Biel_ze_Bubba March 5, 2012 at 12:54 pm

The correction doesn't stay up for more than 4 hours.

ProgressiveInga March 3, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Your move, O'Lielly.

HempDogbane March 3, 2012 at 7:08 pm

I'm waiting to see what Camille Paglia thinks.

Loaded_Pants March 3, 2012 at 8:16 pm

First this shit with Rush & you just had to mention Paglia? Gah! I'm having flashbacks to the early 1990s now.

Callyson March 3, 2012 at 10:46 pm

This is all the fault of those feminists.

arcadesproject March 4, 2012 at 11:52 am

ok. i'll wait to see if Camille Paglia thinks.

Limeylizzie March 3, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Cunt.

MosesInvests March 4, 2012 at 1:48 am

Dozy cunt?

V572 Flambé March 3, 2012 at 7:28 pm

The only thing that will move Limbaugh to a less prominent venue is when the advertisers quit. Only five have done so thus far.

Did anyone see this young woman on MSNBC or wherever else she's appeared? She's 30, articulate, attractive, astonishingly even-tempered…and probably about to become very, very rich, at Limbaugh's insurance company's expense. He couldn't have picked a worse target.

She says she wants to do public interest law. If she can get Rush put away, I'd say her work was done.

sati_demise March 3, 2012 at 7:34 pm

David Friend of Carbonite want to have a stern "talk with Limbaugh" before deciding whether or not to boycott.
He had a stern "talk with Limbaugh" in 2009 too.

It must have been about child prostitution in the Dominican Republic.

trampndirtdown March 3, 2012 at 8:24 pm
Guppy March 3, 2012 at 7:37 pm

The ball's in your court now, Howard Stern.

anniegetyerfun March 3, 2012 at 8:59 pm

I never really thought about how he would feel, since he is an irrelevant schmuck. But he also does love him some unpregnant sluts, so maybe he'd be all about this legislation.

ManchuCandidate March 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Unlike Rush, Howie has a profound love of vagina.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 1:35 am

Howard's just vuglar and crude. Rush is an unadulterated, unapologetic bigot.

DemmeFatale March 3, 2012 at 7:45 pm

"Mother Night," anyone?

Blueb4sunrise March 3, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Squeal.
Weee wee wee.

weej_bain March 3, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Advertisers bail, and Butterdick Limpblow sayz "I'm sorry." Given that he is such an incredibly sorry pile of poo, for once in his miserable life he is correct. Yes Rush, you really are a seriously sorry mound of hillbilly heroin and boner builder.

Chet Kincaid March 3, 2012 at 8:03 pm

This whole brouhaha just demonstrates how ignorant and oblivious we men are about the health and biology of the Majority Sex in this country. Mrs. Kincaid doesn't use oral contraceptives, so we haven't had a reason to talk about them; if I didn't have professional reasons for knowing about their use for purposes other than contraception, I'd be just as dumb as the rest of us guys.

Blueb4sunrise March 3, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Washington CousCous Update.

Money
6,101
35.6%
Senile
4,203
24.6%
Asshole
4,203
24.6%
Pig fucker
2,028
11.8%

fuflans March 3, 2012 at 8:24 pm

i'm just glad this dialogue isn't happening around christmas when i have to go to old people parties.

Badonkadonkette March 3, 2012 at 8:27 pm

"He's being absurd," Santorum said. "But that's, you know, an entertainer can be absurd."

You know who else is an entertainer, you whiny, frothy douche? Dan Savage.

anniegetyerfun March 3, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Oh, no! THAT'S bullying.

Badonkadonkette March 3, 2012 at 8:40 pm

I understand why Limbaugh is so upset that taxpayers might have to foot the bill for Sandra Fluke's cysts. After all, it's been over 40 years since that fat coward weaseled out of Vietnam by claiming to have a cyst, and this country has been paying for it ever since.

trampndirtdown March 3, 2012 at 8:54 pm

They keep saying that Sandra Fluke is asking the taxpayers to pay her to have sex. She's not. She's asking that the health insurance that she already pays for — since she's a tuition-paying student, and has to have health insurance, often purchased from the university — cover contraception in the same way it covers any other medication.

Because right now, students and employees at Catholic universities who use the university-provided health plan are being taxed for being female and wanting to use legal, medically indicated prescription medication. In addition to their premiums, they have to pay extra for their pills. Swiped from zuzu.

anniegetyerfun March 3, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Romney: Don't ask me! Jerbs!
Santorum: What a ridiculous thing to say! But his job is to be ridiculous, is it not?
Gingrich: The real outrage here is that Obama called the student to try to make her feel better. That's a horrible thing to do.

imissopus March 3, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Ron Paul: I love goooooolllllllld!

anniegetyerfun March 3, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Seriously, I was Googling around to see what he said, but I doubt anyone in his group has bothered to ask, really.

anniegetyerfun March 3, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Ah, here it is.

imissopus March 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Shorter Ron Paul: herp derp federal government bad because freedom. Pretty much what he says about everything.

Lascauxcaveman March 4, 2012 at 3:28 am

Now is that any way to talk about the only truly anti-war candidate?

(I'm only saying this, because my wife caught my hippy brother-in-law coming out of the Republican caucus today – Washington state – and he admitted he was caucusing for Ron Paul. I had to think for about two minutes before I figured out why. Well, the anti-war thing *and* the legal dope.)

horsedreamer_1 March 4, 2012 at 3:15 am

He TPM reports Gingrich is more concerned with Obama's apology for the Quran burning.

Blueb4sunrise March 3, 2012 at 8:50 pm

DId not know what Carbonite was/is/did….nonetheless….they're pulling off Jabba.
http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entries/car

Chichikovovich March 3, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Friend's statement is a thing of beauty too. Straight, no double talk, gets to the point. If I need luggage any time soon I'll be buying it from them.

glamourdammerung March 3, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Actually, they are a data backup service.

Though they are fairly good from what I have heard from friends, so I was a bit surprised they advertised on the Drug Pig Radio Show in the first place.

Chichikovovich March 3, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Oops. Well, then all the data-backup I'm not going to buy, I'll be not-buying from them, exclusively.—

glamourdammerung March 4, 2012 at 12:37 am

Ironically, I do not use their services (can not actually, but that is beside the point), but I have sent quite a bit of business their way.

SudsMcKenzie March 3, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Some of my best friends are "Sluts", that reminds me, I should really give them a call.

Limeylizzie March 4, 2012 at 11:48 am

You rang?

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 8:55 pm

OT, and I sent this link to the Tip Line, but since that's where tips go to die, local Republican official hilarity.

Oh, and credit to non-Wonketeer LP for passing this one to me.

BlueStateLibel March 4, 2012 at 2:05 pm

The amazing thing is that this guy had "lovers"! There's hope for anyone, I guess.

WinterOuthouse March 3, 2012 at 8:56 pm

He's a fucking political leader until the shit hits the fan then the fuckstick is a comedian. If there's a God Limbaugh's cock will be caught in a blender

ManchuCandidate March 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

That's what Napoleon said after Waterloo:
"All you guys that died got punked! That's the joke!"

sharethegrief March 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

They don't make blenders that small.

ManchuCandidate March 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Run fatboy run! The vaginas are coming! The vaginas are coming!!*

*not that you would know anything about either.

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 1:38 am

Somebody found the G-spot, you dirty dog, you.

Preacher_Griz March 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Oh Great! Now Radio Personality Rush Limbaugh has apologized. Proving he's not only a RINO, but a RINO who bows and prostrates and apologizes.

You can tell who are the real Conservative Christians. They are the ones who never bow or apologize!!! Like Rep Tom Tancredo!!!!

voodooeconomics March 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm

" I would like to apologize to Ms Fluke for being such a cock sucker" oops did i say that? ohhh I am so sorry..come back here sleep number bed..

RavenRant March 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Not totally OT, but Mr. Conscience himself, Sen. Roy Blunt, dumped his wife of 35 years to marry the Philip Morris lobbyist with whom he'd been having an adulterous affair. Oh, he also tried to funnel taxpayer dollars to Philip Morris.

That is some flexible conscience! Adultery, home-wrecking, and graft: Perfectly alright. Contraception: Satan's Handiwork!

Loaded_Pants March 3, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Fuck as I tell you you should fuck. But don't fuck as I fuck.

horsedreamer_1 March 4, 2012 at 3:18 am

Roy to his wife, upon announcing the divorce filing, said, "Fuck you, Ho! Yo' wrinkled goddamn pussy too old for B-Dog!"

Callyson March 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Oh, and regarding that very truly sincere apology of Limpballs–from HuffyPo:
But he maintained that the birth control debate was about "personal sexual recreational activities," not any broader health questions, and compared contraception to sneakers.
Yeah, right, asshole. Tell that to, among others, WebMD.com, which points out seven other health reasons to take the pill, including lower cancer risk and endometriosis relief… http://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/features/o
Asshole.

mavenmaven March 3, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Those guys were geniuses, the ones who put those fake ads in the Hawaiian newspapers in the early 1960s, who then created right wing talk radio so that the manchurian broadcaster Rush Limbaugh would decimate the right in 2012 so that the Black Socialist Kenyan Muslim would rule the US for a second term.

Lascauxcaveman March 4, 2012 at 3:33 am

Pretty tidy little operation, I'd say. And only cost 'em about $60.

ttommyunger March 3, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Jabba the Gut, apologetic? That's rich, he doesn't have a sincere bone in his morbidly obese body. I personally don't give a fuck what he says about anything and I never have. Shit, we have a street-corner preacher who works our town square every Sunday. I don't pay any attention to him, either. Jeez!

DerrickWildcat March 3, 2012 at 10:52 pm

That fat grubby homunculus has been married 4 times…with no kids. He himself is one big contraceptive device. His last 3 wives are still sitting in a shower sobbing hysterically while scrubbing and puking.

Sorry to be so mean, but this misogynistic race baiting piece of shit doesn't deserve a lick of good will.

dyedwool March 4, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Hahahahahahaha. "A lick of good will."

He doesn't deserve any of the blow jobs he's never gotten, either.

Barrelhse March 3, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Thomas Paine said "whore"!

littlebigdaddy March 4, 2012 at 1:04 am

Not as often as Benjamin Franklin, though.

amoosefloats March 4, 2012 at 12:49 am

Fatty should hold a oxycontin between his acreage of butt flab, so he does not go back to rehab like the drug whore he is.

littlebigdaddy March 4, 2012 at 12:59 am

You know who *else* thought women were unclean?

not that Dewey March 4, 2012 at 1:17 am

Genesis P. Orridge?

Negropolis March 4, 2012 at 1:55 am

The ancient Hebrews?

horsedreamer_1 March 4, 2012 at 3:18 am

I was going to say "Muhammad?".

valthemus March 4, 2012 at 1:17 am

As is so often the case, the real tragedy is that well before the end of October, voters will have forgotten all about this classic episode of The Right Wing Asshat Show. Sigh.

Dashboard Buddha March 4, 2012 at 7:09 am

Mother Night?

DahBoner March 4, 2012 at 8:53 am

Did Rush ever sell his Manhattan apartment? You know, the one that looked like Liberace puked Pink Grasshoppers all over the walls and ceiling?

elburritodeluxe March 4, 2012 at 9:25 am

Rush is a guy with three divorces under his ample belt, so I guess he knows a thing or two about healthy relationships.

C_R_Eature March 4, 2012 at 9:29 am

"Hi, Mr. Limbaugh. By way of accepting your vacuous, self serving smarmy, utterly insincere non-apology apology, I'd like to offer you this Whaffer-Thin Mint. Bon Apptit. "

*Runs away, diving behind planter*

ElPinche March 4, 2012 at 10:42 am

Rush Limbaugh is a big fat misogynist simply because he has to put his wife through sweaty pig sex. Thank Allah that the oxycontin balances out with the levitra. His poor wife has to learn to live with bestial rape. I smell a Dominick Dunne story in the making.

stew1 March 4, 2012 at 11:27 am

Hey Rush, that Oxycontin is looking sweeter and sweeter. C'mon babe, have a taste. Swallowing the whole bottle gives an incredible high. I'll call your housekeeper and arrange the deal.

arcadesproject March 4, 2012 at 11:51 am

hoo boy i seen a picutre of rush on network news and he was one thin guy. you all must've photo shopped that hog with a tiarra on.

Cognitive Dissident March 4, 2012 at 1:57 pm

How many nails is this coffin (known as GOP 2012 chances) going to fit???

Douché March 4, 2012 at 2:23 pm

I only wish that Mr and Mrs Limbaugh used birth control.

DahBoner March 5, 2012 at 12:47 pm

#WINNING

scarface99 March 4, 2012 at 8:28 pm

hey limbaw; you re not funny you effing pos! i hex you you bloated pasty fuck! i got a couple left, i wasted one on britebart a couple of days ago but it was worth it!!

luckismine March 4, 2012 at 8:29 pm

I was very sad to see that ProFlowers pulled their advertisement today. Was looking forward to sending my grandma "slut roses" for Mothers Day.

iburl March 4, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Rush is just pissed off because these women won't use his preferred method of birth control: Enshrouding your negligible genitalia within the blubbery folds of your own corpulence.

DahBoner March 5, 2012 at 12:46 pm

TWO WORDS, G.O.P.: MENSTRATION HUTS.

You're welcome…

voodooeconomics March 6, 2012 at 5:13 pm

what a slutty way to kill the GOP. They had Mitt as a force to wreck with.

Lascauxcaveman March 4, 2012 at 3:30 am

Carbonite? I thought they were all about fancy lightweight bicycle frames.

And freezing Han Solo as a trophy for a gangster Hutt.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 4, 2012 at 8:13 am

"The views expressed in the following program do not necessarily reflect those of intelligent humans. Viewer discretion is advised."

BarackMyWorld March 4, 2012 at 11:28 am

"We don't really agree with this guy, but we're not going to turn down the ad money this show brings in."

Doktor Zoom March 4, 2012 at 11:59 am

The data backup firm actually licensed the name from Lucasfilm, which I find amusing.

Me, I never use anything but Unobtanium.

poncho_pilot March 4, 2012 at 8:02 pm

i'm talkin' 'bout me and Dot are swingers.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 5, 2012 at 10:47 am

Oh dear. I was very much hoping that the right would self-destruct in just this manner, but not until October. You don't want to give them months to get their shit back together, or give Mitt (R)Money time to figure out that he can afford to tell the lunatic fringe to go fuck themselves.

mrpuma2u March 5, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Thanks for being brave and venturing out to the scary waters of freeper land. I see that it is still a horrid and dismal swamp of evil.

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