double agents

Secret Liberal Rush Limbaugh Cleverly Kills Republican Party

He's a super funny & smart guy!Hilarious radio satirist Rush Limbaugh pulled his biggest prank on far-right AM radio listeners and the entire Republican Party last week, when he took the GOP fringe-right religious-fanatic attack on birth control and turned it into a full Republican attack on all women. Now, as advertisers abandon the radio program and the GOP presidential candidates are jabbering tongue-tied nonsense when asked for the official Republican position on all women being sluts and prostitutes for using basic birth control, the comedic genius Rush Limbaugh is having his biggest laugh yet. We can only imagine the high-fives that Rush and Obama are giving each other today, on the golf course.

The AP reports on Limbaugh’s stunning “nuclear option” to finally demolish the GOP he has pretended to propagandize all these many years:

President Barack Obama is casting the contraception controversy as an issue of women’s rights, not religious freedom, seizing on what backers see as a political gift from Rush Limbaugh to firm up support from women and young voters, groups essential to his re-election hopes.

It also had the political benefit of forcing Republicans to choose between siding with the president and taking what critics view as an extreme position to counter him. Limbaugh, who has an enormous following on the political right, called Fluke a “slut” because the 30-year-old student has been a vocal supporter of access to contraception.

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Today, we salute Rush Limbaugh, a hero and a patriot. Thomas Paine is quoted at the beginning the go-to manual for radical dirty tricks, Rules For Radicals, and we can only imagine Obama and Limbaugh sharing yet another laugh over this prescient bit of political prose:

“Let them call me rebel and welcome, I feel no concern from it; but I should suffer the misery of devils, were I to make a whore of my soul …” — Thomas Paine

The defining trait of a true revolutionary is that he cares not for the public perception, and indeed takes delight in his deeds being shrouded by confusion and mystery. Rush Limbaugh is such a feminist revolutionary, pointing the way to a time of equality and plenty for all. [ABC News/Associated Press]

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290 comments

  1. memzilla

    I'd love to see a class-action defamation suit against this Titan of Tardturtidy, with 150 million American Wimmenz as the plaintiff.

      1. Isyaignert

        You beat me to it Guppy – class action lawsuits have gone the way of the dodo bird thanks to these corporate whores a/k/a unelected lifetime politicians in robes.

  2. Barb

    Remember when Rush said he's not going to 'bend over' and grab his ankles just because Barack Obama is black? Do you think there's any chance in hell Rush Limbaugh could bend over and grab his ankles?

    1. not that Dewey

      Okay — are y'all done talking about Rush grabbing shit? I need to put my stomach lining back in, and I don't want to have to do it twice.

      1. bagofmice

        Meh, stomach lining grows back in a few hours. Esophageal lining is not so resilient.

  3. dyedwool

    So the "nuclear option" is slut shaming? On behalf of sluts everywhere, we'll take it!

    1. Terry

      Aren't you glad that none of these fools has actual input on using a real nuclear option?

  4. coolhandnuke

    It's Rush week at the Republican frat house. Let the hazings begin.
    "Thank you sir may I have another."

  5. bumfug

    Don't fret about Rush – that fat fuck's about three Oxycontins away from doing a Morning Zoo show with Breitbart.

        1. BigRadio

          I posted this clip the other day after watching that Föx mash-up about Gitmo. I've got to run, but I hope someone finds the Stewie and Brian version.

  6. Neoyorquino

    "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." – Kurt Vonnegut

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      That may be a bit unfair, but you can tell she surely did something wrong, by the results.

      1. Geminisunmars

        I understand she is a perfectly nice woman who for some reason has changed her name and moved to another part of the world.

    1. blogmomme

      Brfore he dies of "natural" causes while walking his neighborhood at midnight like ABreitbart passing before S Sherrod'c case against him went to court.

    2. RavenRant

      Can she enter as evidence of damages the 10,000 rape threats and death threats she's going to receive after having the laser of hate focused on her for three full days?

    1. Banelm

      Really. This guy has been spouting the same lines for, what, 30 years? And now all of a sudden everyone gets all offended. I blame the internets.

  7. beavertank

    I salute this man for his tenacity in spending decades spouting the most reprehensible pap all to maintain his cover and, one day, strike a blow for freedom and progressive causes.

    The paychecks and prescription drug abuse probably helped dull the sting a bit, but still. This man is a deep cover hero.

    Today, we all salute you Rush Limbaugh. Greatest of the secret liberals.

    1. Negropolis

      Have you ever seen Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh at the same time?

      I didn't think so.

    2. Mrspanky

      As the late-great Rastaman, Bob Marley once sang: "Sometimes your best friend can be your worst enemy; and your worst enemy can be your best friend…"

      Ah, El Rushbo! Thanks for fearless undercover work on behalf of us lefties!

  8. SexySmurf

    Limbaugh has been married four times and has no children. Either all his wives were sluts, or his little ditto head is just too small to even fit.

      1. Callyson

        What woman would do him *without* compensation? Hell, he should thank his lucky stars that there are prostitutes willing to take his money…

  9. smitallica

    Today, we are all bloated, drug-addicted, hyposcritical, serially married…

    Aww, fuck it. I hate this asshole.

  10. BaldarTFlagass

    "Secret Liberal Rush Limbaugh Cleverly Kills Republican Party"

    Worst. Deep. Cover. Mole. Ever.

    Or best?

    1. BlueStateLibel

      It would seem to make his job a whole lot easier if Obama got re-elected, wouldn't it?

      1. Chet Kincaid

        Doesn't make a difference, he flourished under Bush. In fact, he and his crowd get even bigger jollies from bullying when they are in charge.

  11. Chet Kincaid

    Republican politicians are so deathly frightened of getting on Rush Limbaugh's bad side that their Presidential candidates can't even acknowledge how far over the line he went. As long as Limbaugh, Grover Norquist and the Religious Right hold veto power over people and policies for the Republicans, no thinking person will ever take them seriously. Unfortunately, thinking people are America's #1 Minority.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      I was reading chirpily along with you, nodding my head. Then I read the last sentence. Shit.

  12. Doktor Zoom

    As I mentioned Friday morning, one of the women at my office pretty much started the day by announcing how angry Limbaugh's dickishness made her–and somehow she had never heard his proclamation that "Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream."

    I don't want this fucker to apologize. I want him, and his followers, to double down and reveal their utter contempt for women until they manage to alienate even right-wing church ladies.

    1. Designer_Rants

      Same reasons I want Santorum to get the Repub nom. The 90% of Americans who couldn't give 2 shits about politics will not be able to ignore what an insane person this man is, and it MAY even sink in that he's also a REPUBLICAN. And then, if those people actually find themselves in a voting booth on the right day in November, they MAY even remember that they shouldn't vote for candidates with (R) next to their name.

      But what do I know? Bill Maher seems to think Obama's going to lose reelection, as he throws a $million into his superPAC.

      1. Geminisunmars

        I think Bill just doesn't want us to get too complacent, and I think he has a point.

      2. chicken_thief

        Dittos, D_R, plus I'm tired of hearing my conservative friends and relatives lament that whoever wasn't a *real* conservative. And how a *real* conservative would have done so much better blah blah blah. Ok, here he is, motherfuckers – Mr. Conservative. Put him up against moderate Obama and watch him get his ass handed to him nationwide.

        Do it and STFU!!!!

      1. Banelm

        You forget, Conservatism CANNOT fail, it can only be failed. If Santorum runs and loses, it will be because he wasn't conservative enough, and a Catholic to boot.
        If only we had a Real conservative running…

  13. Data Exactly

    Rush Limbaugh can add "Caller of young people sluts" to all of the babble he starts his segments off with.

  14. Rotundo_

    Four times married without a "Rusty Jr." to show for it. I don't know if it is the miracle of modern pharmaceuticals, the incredible luck of being infertile, or that the marriages have all been shams to disguise a different sexual orientation, but I think we should all be delighted that Rush has not sired a replacement. I cannot imagine how twisted the little one would be with El Rushbo as a dad, and one of the stepford moms as mother.

    1. gullywompr

      From now on he is going to be a Compassionate Conservative™, I guess.

      Oops, there goes his ratings, and thus, even more of his sponsors.

    2. MadBrahms

      "I'm sorry my statements seemed like a personal assault on Ms. Fluke. I intended them to be an assault on the dignity of women everywhere. Nothing personal."

    3. not that Dewey

      I'm not sure I'd call that an apology. He acknowledged that he said something offensive (dog bites man), and then blamed Ms Fluke's defenders and supporters for the controversy for having defended and supported her and for discussing public health issues in public.

      "Apology" not accepted.

      1. beavertank

        And a written apology, posted only to his website, is not exactly what I'd call "enough" after spending days on-air insulting this woman.

    4. usernameguy

      He's going the Romney route: "I'm sorry for my choice of words. I should have thought up a more roundabout way to call her a slut and a whore."

      Note that he's not sorry for saying women on birth control should send him their sex tapes.

      1. beavertank

        What exactly would a gay man do with such an impressive collection of amateur heterosexual porn?

    5. BigRadio

      "Sorry, I meant to call you a cunt."

      What's absurd is this turd, nee Rusty Sharpe, makes $50 million dollars a year. All I know is that he is a fat pig.

    6. Designer_Rants

      "My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir," Limbaugh says in the statement. "I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices."

      Limbaugh goes on to criticize the the plan to expand insurance coverage of contraception, and ding President Obama.

      Sounds like the height of sincerity and pertinence.

    7. Tilley

      Well isn't that special. An "apology" carefully constructed by his lawyers and emitted by one of his handlers in an arrogantly tardy attempt to ward off litigation and halt the exodus of sponsors. Sit on it and rotate, you fat jackass.

    8. glamourdammerung

      A half-assed apology that neglects to correct the outright lies he spewed about this woman is not going to help him win a court case, especially when he double-downed on the stupidity the day before.

    9. banana_bread

      "What happened to personal responsibility and accountability? Where do we draw the line? If this is accepted as the norm, what will follow? Will we be debating if taxpayers should pay for new sneakers for all students that are interested in running to keep fit?"

      oh for the love of- RUNNING SHOES ARE NOT DRUGS, YOU FLAMING SHITSACK

      1. Chet Kincaid

        But since he wants to go there, there are plenty of employers who will discount your portion of your health insurance premiums if you join a health club, so that they don't have to pay for your quadruple bypass later.

      2. anniegetyerfun

        You have to admit, the idea that anyone might want to exercise is probably really foreign to him. The very sight of a sneaker probably makes him retch, before scaring a wheelbarrow full of cheeseburgers and Viagra.

        1. Callyson

          And now I have enough motivation to get myself out for a run or to the gym for at least the rest of this lifetime…

      1. poncho_pilot

        if he did have to verbally apologize would he spell the whole thing out?

        "Okay, look. I-A-M-S-O-R-R-Y. not now, daddy's busy."

    10. BarackMyWorld

      How much you want to bet he keeps talking about this all week, and framing himself as the victim?

      Actual quote: "What happened to personal responsibility and accountability?"

      What indeed, Rush. What indeed…

      1. Callyson

        The trolls on HuffyPo have been claiming that *Obama* is using this issue to detract from discussions about the economy. Too bad that, one, *they* are the ones who started in on this issue, and two, the economy is finally getting better, despite their obstructionism.

        1. Jukesgrrl

          They're not far off from the tone of AP's "breaking news" to announce Rush's non-apology. The article basically reported that "a Rush Limbaugh comment was turned into a huge controversy by the Democrats because Obama can use it to his advantage." I guess the Associated Press accepts Santorum's claim that Rush is an "entertainer."

    11. Callyson

      "I'm sorry I finally said something that will offend people who matter–my advertisers."

      1. NellCote71

        I really can't imagine a sword long enough for him to fall on or one he could hold with his chubby arms far enough away from his body to do any actual harm. But either way, good idea.

    12. Negropolis

      Shorter "apology": I'm sorry if you sluts were offended, you whore-sluts. Can't you take a joke, you prostitutes? Guess not. So, yeah, sorry.

    13. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Apology for a "poor choice of words" — but not for the message.

      Somebody must ask this fuckwit, ASAP, what words he thinks he should have used, to convey that precise message.

      I hope this fat, hateful prick loses every last one of his sponsors. I've sent emails to all of 'em, saying I'm not touching their products, ever, unless they yank their ads.

  15. BarackMyWorld

    I still could never understand how someone this irrational and bigoted could have such a prominent position in political discourse. I'm glad the rest of America is waking up to this, but it was about 20 years too late. His ignorance and stupidity was all laid out right there in his two books from the early 1990s, but people just kept treating him like a legitimate shaper of public opinion.

    1. bagofmice

      Before I met the rest of the world, I used to program the VCR to tape episodes for my parents. It makes me appreciate the subtlety of the Colbert report, as they use the exact same set design for going to the interview portion of the show. Two desks, wall of awards, it's a sublime parody.

      1. Loaded_Pants

        I remember Rush's TV show. That shit was on for 4 fuckin' years. He had no guests and part of the set included an entire bookshelf in the background filled with copies of his awful books (most of them displayed to show their front covers). His "audience" was filled with idiotic clappin' & cheerin' ditto-idiots.
        My boss couldn't get enough of Rush. Rush's show aired locally at 12:30 after the noon local news, so he tuned it in during our lunch break. But after that? Rush's radio show came on promptly at 1 p.m. on the nearest AM talk radio station. And our boss tune in to that, too. So we had to suffer daily through hours of Rush. Ugh.

        1. BarackMyWorld

          Our local station aired it at 1am and always put a disclaimer before it. One of the advantages of living in an urban media market…

          1. not that Dewey

            put a disclaimer before it.

            Do you mean "the views expressed in the following program do not necessarily reflect…?

            Bullshit. If a TV interest, who has free use of the public spectrum, airs a tv show that centers itself around hate-fllled invective, they own it. I don't care what their lawyers say. They had the option on NOT showing Rush on the air, and they chose to waive that option. Bullshit.

          2. Biel_ze_Bubba

            "The views expressed in the following program do not necessarily reflect those of intelligent humans. Viewer discretion is advised."

          3. BarackMyWorld

            "We don't really agree with this guy, but we're not going to turn down the ad money this show brings in."

        2. Pithaughn

          Speaking of Rush and loaded pants. I had to BM at my wife's relatives out in the sticks of KS. For crapper reading material they had an EBI publication of some sort. I tore out a few sheets, crinkled them up, wiped and did not flush. Never heard another word from those fine folks.

  16. gullywompr

    Dammit! More Saturday posts? I told you a fucking thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos!

  17. BigRadio

    Glad to see the same bravery Mitts exhibited during the Vietnam War.
    "I'll just say this, which is, it's not the language I would have used."

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Again with the "poor choice of language" horseshit. OK, MItt, tell us: how would you have said that she wants to get paid for sex? Because whatever the words, that's what the fat fuck said.

  18. horsedreamer_1

    That will be the next defense from the Right: Rush Limbaugh, draft dodging rock n roll listening dropout was a false flag operation of the Left, just like Eisenhower.

  19. Doktor Zoom

    You know, maybe we should see what our friends at Free Republic have to say about all this…

    He didn’t say she was a slut. SHE CLAIMED SHE WAS A SLUT. And – she claimed that since she was a slut, she was entitled to have other people pay for her birth control. This story really presents the Left for what they are.

    Let’s get real, if her name was Kardashian or Snooki and said on TV she “is having so much sex she is going broke”, all of these same people whining about what Rush said would be calling her a slut. [Yes, this person actually thinks FLUKE said those words.]

    DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF SLUT: “an offensive term for a woman thought to be sexually promiscuous.” Let’s see .. Sandra Fluke wants taxpayers to pay for her contraception pills because she claims that her bills already add up to $3,000 a year.
    With a bill like that, how many times does she have sex a day? Doesn’t she even get tired? When does she find time to study law?
    [Yes, because you totally understand how birth control pills work.]

    I think we need to FLOOD John Boehner’s office with protests that he has come out against RUSH! I JUST called. [Number deleted]

    [ Fluke has since called Limbaugh’s comments “inappropriate” and “outside the bounds of civil discourse.” ]
    Who the hell gets to define “civil discourse”? This chick really seems to have a problem with the first amendment.
    Because disagreeing is censorship?

    Times really have changed. When the whole 7th fleet sailed through your bedroom in the past, the slut would ensure the sailor provided contraceptives, not the taxpayer.

    This is the exact same goal as the homosexual marriage jihadists. Once it is a Constitutional right for homosexuals to marry, they will seek out Bible believing Christian churches to demand that they perform their weddings. If refused, the church is gone *poof* just like what they are attempting to do with the Catholic Church. If they succeed now, it will not be long before all references to homosexuality, or any immoral sexual behavior, be expunged from the Bible and Torah, and mentioning immorality in a condescending tone will be met with prison time.

    Still don’t see why a rug muncher needs contraception. If she’s getting any, it’d be of the latex variety.

    If we are going to pay for her plentiful and expensive sex, we should at least get the slut sex tapes for our money. Disgusting. Liberals are disgusting.

    ANY one who is brazen enough to stand before congress and ask for public assistance in the amount of $3000 a year for CONDUMS deserves being ridiculed!

    There would probably be even less sleeping around if there were no contraceptives in the first place. Aha. There's the money quote. Thank you, Dr. Science

    Near the end of the thread, a brave soul, "MeanGreen2008," points out how hormonal birth control actually works, and points out that contraception is far less expensive for insurers and taxpayers than unwanted pregnancies. Needless to say, that poster is derided as a socialist.

    Isn't insurance kind of socialist to start with…?

    Oh, and finally, someone who's figured out who the REAL victim is here: Limbaugh was a fool. Unable to resist his talent for ridicule, he fell right into the trap Obama and Pelosi had laid for him: instead of keeping his eye on the ball — freedom of religion — he bought into the Obama narrative that this is all about contraception and access thereto.

    Love his .sig: " by Romulus (The Traditional Latin Mass is the real Youth Mass) "

    1. MadBrahms

      Of course the entire premise is wrong; if they had spent the five seconds it took them to put "slut" into a dictionary into actually reading about her testimony, they'd know that it wasn't dealing with her own wanton sexuality (gasp! wandering wombs!) but with a fellow student who needed birth control because of a serious health issue, i.e. ovarian cysts.

      But of course freepers are radical democrats: slut shaming for everyone! God, I don't even want to know what the conversations look like on MRA websites right now.

    2. Doktor Zoom

      heh…OK, so in an attempt to see what they think of Rush's not-pology, I rather hurriedly googled "Limbaugh apology free republic"–and got back an astonishing number of Freeper posts regarding various OTHER shit that various people have asked Limbaugh to apologize for. Classy dude.

    3. not that Dewey

      Rush Limbaugh is this generation's Anthony Fremont. They're liteally scared shitless to do or say anything except "what a GOOD thing you've said, calling her a slut. That was REALLY GOOD."

      EDIT: What exactly is the cornfield in my analogy? I can't figure out what these people are so afraid of.

      1. RavenRant

        I have a few people I would like wished into the cornfield. I have a list for little Anthony, if he comes around.

    4. not that Dewey

      This guy connects the dots for us:

      To: broken_arrow1
      Limbaugh used this issue to provide cover over not discussing Arpaio’s report.

      37 posted on Saturday, March 03, 2012 7:08:19 AM by Godebert (NO PERSON EXCEPT A NATURAL BORN CITIZEN!)

      I thought Obama murdered Breitbart to draw fire away from Arpaio's Report. Now Rush is in on it, too?!??! Wheels within wheels.

    5. not that Dewey

      There are some comments on The Blaze to rival those on Freep:

      Teufel Hunden
      Posted on March 3, 2012 at 5:32pm

      I don‘t want to pay for her contraceptives unless I’m doing her, in which case the govt would need to supply me with a guide dog and some Viagra..
      Teufel Hunden Log in to Reply

      CatB
      Posted on March 3, 2012 at 5:37pm

      LOL … perfect!

    6. Doktor Zoom

      OK, so here's the FR thread on the notpology, headlined "A Statement from Rush (Rush offers apology to Slut!)"

      Just a couple of the highlights:

      The left was losing this debate bigtime until he used the word "slut". Now let's go back to them losing again.

      Unbelieveable.
      This is why the left wins….THEY don’t back down.
      [This one may be my favorite...Clearly, it's why we have the Public Option, an end to the Bush tax cuts, and the closure of Gitmo...]

      That IS that. When even Rush Libaugh surrenders to the PC crowd, we are truly, duly doomed as a nation.

      Fluke is a socialist/marxist/communist/fascist/revolutionary/islamic sympathizer PLANT. Mother Pelosi and Father Oboma were her handlers…and Saul Alinsky and his tactics are their god. We're at war! We MUST keep fighting these slimes until we destroy every last one of them. It will be a 24 hours a day, 7 day a week job….are you up to it? Remember..you must be IN IT to WIN IT! [Mind you, he doesn't actually mean violence]

      The nitwits at the FNC (FOX Neocon Channel) mentioned this a second ago and ONLY read the part where Rush apologizes to America’s most famous slut.
      *SIGH* FOX. Good for a while……then kerplunk!

      We must support our conservative warriors, warts and all. Can’t completely agree with Rush’s tactics? Then agree to disagree with him on this one and CONTINUE to stand by Rush.
      See ya’ Monday, Rush. We’re all in this together and we must stand united and strong…or we will perish at the hands of socialism. Lock arms and win this war!

      They fight dirty. Our side is too nicey nice.
      That’s why we get our asses kicked.
      It’s past time to get our hands dirty.

      An apology was neither necessary nor appropriate. God bestowed upon us the gift of sex in order that we might multiply. God is cheated and His will is defiled by the use of contraceptives. Having sex divorced from the possibility of procreation is like spitting in the face of God. Rush is wrong to apologize and by doing so he is tacitly endorsing slutty behaviors.

      Monday when I get to work I’m going to tell a woman that was defending the slut that she’s a plant and a lesbien and lesbien’s don’t need contraceprives. Batteries, maybe but contraceptives, no. That woman will go bananas when I say that. [Oh, to be the HR manager at that place...]

      This phony contraception “issue” was planned at the highest levels by the DNC and Obama 2012 campaign. It was discussed for months. They despeately needed a wedge issue to win back the women they lost in 2010, or Obama would lose. And this is what they came up with. It revealed itself first as a seemingly bizarre question by George Stephanopoulos at that debate. It certainly doesn’t seem bizarre now – because we have been played by the best, step-by-step according to how Dr. Alinsky wrote it. And we fell for it. Rush fell into it. Sandra Fluke will one day be looked back at in the same way as Anita Hill. And make no mistake, this is going to hurt us BIG TIME on November 6th. When will we LEARN the Alinsky method, instead of merely being serial victims of it? [Poor, helpless wingtards, forced by the bad ol' Alinskyites to treat an administrative rule about health insurance as if it were the Anschluss. I weep for them.]

      1. Nostrildamus

        This is the level of insight and erudition I associate with the National Review. He should apply for a position there.

        1. Loaded_Pants

          These brave Wonketteers who are willing to wade through & even collect some of this santorum deserve a medal & a pension for life, IMO. But that would probably be more sociamalism thanks to the Obammer regime.

      2. deanbooth

        Having sex divorced from the possibility of procreation is like spitting in the face of God.

        Giving a blow job is like spitting in the face of God? …I can never watch porn again.

      3. Callyson

        The left was losing this debate bigtime until he used the word "slut". Now let's go back to them losing again.
        Really–that's what they think? The roughly 60% of Americans (depending on which poll you look at) who support the Obama administration on this issue = a win for the wingnuts? OK then, I'll take as many of those "wins" for the righties as I can get….

        1. Biel_ze_Bubba

          You have to make allowances for the Fucks Gnus universe in which these cretins live, full-time.

          1. Doktor Zoom

            Didn't you see the comments? Fox is now full of RINOS now, and is not to be trusted anymore. They have betrayed Conservatism, and America.

            Some of these guys would have loved the French Revolution…

          2. Biel_ze_Bubba

            Oh dear. I was very much hoping that the right would self-destruct in just this manner, but not until October. You don't want to give them months to get their shit back together, or give Mitt (R)Money time to figure out that he can afford to tell the lunatic fringe to go fuck themselves.

          3. mrpuma2u

            Thanks for being brave and venturing out to the scary waters of freeper land. I see that it is still a horrid and dismal swamp of evil.

    7. bagofmice

      homosexual marriage jihadists.

      My brain hurts so much I had to reboot twice. Ow.

      I mean technically if you understand jihad as a struggle, it makes a certain kind of sense, but obviously he is using the verb jihad as an invective, and not so much as a verb. It's Sarah Palin grammar. "bad thing bad thing bad thing, link, good thing good thing good thing".

      Tl;dr, I want to headbutt their English teachers.

  20. FannyBurney

    Oh, good, Rush. Now explain to me why MY health insurance has to pay for YOUR Viagra, you tedious gasbag. I've been subsidizing your erections ever since the stuff was invented.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      So we're paying money in order for him to have sex? Using an appropriate choice of words, what does that make him? Other than a fat bag of fetid hypocrisy.

  21. SheriffRoscoe

    Very well, but I'm still not going to apologize to Rush for calling him a "fat pig-boy" yesterday, for his taking statins when he could just as easily give up his daily platter of bacon.

    1. flamingpdog

      Please, Sheriff, I have too much love for bacon to see it positioned in the same sentence with "Rush". Couldn't we just use "his daily platter of santorum" from now on?

    2. chicken_thief

      "They can have my platter of bacon when they pry it from my cold, dead hands." ~ Rush

  22. AlaskaGrrl

    Does Red State and World Nut Daily know about this? If Rush is part of the secret conspiracy, what about Beck? What about Fox Spews? OMG! How far does this go? Gotta add another to them tinfoil hats people.

  23. bikerlaureate

    Oxy-blob I am
    Mr. Reality
    The most important thing
    I brag about my toys

    With my microphone
    I do a super show
    I'll denounce the sinner
    On the radio


    A big big mess
    He was all mixed up and a
    Big mess
    Big mess
    He was a
    He was really mixed up

    1. poncho_pilot

      i lie with precision.
      i'm a boy with bags of fun.
      i've got a blue pill in my pocket
      for the lucky one.

  24. smitallica

    I think it's funny that Limbaugh is getting pilloried for proving he's a misogynist, but has gotten away, every day for over 20 years, with being a shameless fucking liar.

    Seriously, can someone name me one prediction, accusation, or analysis of a situation about which he has been even remotely correct? EVER?

    1. Jukesgrrl

      When I think of Rush, I remember a billboard that was up in Tucson the week Gabby Giffords was shot. The billboard read: "Rush Limbaugh. Straight Shooter." and it was designed to look as if it was riddled with bullet holes.

      It took a lot of complaints to Clear Channel, but it finally came down, with some whining from them that Rush had press representation they weren't responsible for.

  25. BigRadio

    Hey now that Russ has apologized, does Rebecca have to do a Wonkette correction? Yippee, another weekend post.

  26. rocktonsam

    Its most certain that any woman that had sex with Mush used birth control.

    they should be thanked for saving a generation.

      1. NellCote71

        I seriously doubt these beards have to have sex with Rush. They are getting paid for other things.

  27. DCBloom

    Sorta a backhanded apology. Read the whole release….

    /For over 20 years, I have illustrated the absurd with absurdity, three hours a day, five days a week. In this instance, I chose the wrong words in my analogy of the situation. I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke.

    I think it is absolutely absurd that during these very serious political times, we are discussing personal sexual recreational activities before members of Congress. I personally do not agree that American citizens should pay for these social activities. What happened to personal responsibility and accountability? Where do we draw the line? If this is accepted as the norm, what will follow? Will we be debating if taxpayers should pay for new sneakers for all students that are interested in running to keep fit?In my monologue, I posited that it is not our business whatsoever to know what is going on in anyone's bedroom nor do I think it is a topic that should reach a Presidential level.

    My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices.

  28. Chichikovovich

    "My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir," Limbaugh says in the statement. "I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices."

    That's what people are calling an apology?

    "I should not have called Ms. Fluke a slut and a prostitute. Those words were improper. I should have called her a woman of dubious sexual morality and a sex-worker, and rather than asking her to post sex videos online I should have used the phrase "self-produced erotic films". In describing every woman who has used birth control paid for by a health insurance plan ( a cost-neutral offering, not one that increases premiums) as a prostitute, who will not have sex unless someone else pays for it, I should have said "sex worker" there too.

    I wish to reaffirm that I meant everything I said, but I used words that make Republican ladies feel I am crass, and I regret that.

    Thank you for your time and attention.

    Yours, The Bloated Gasbag."

    1. imissopus

      I was just skimming over his apology, and he still thinks the whole problem is that taxpayers are going to have to foot the bill so women can have all the pill-protected sexytime they want.

      "Sorry I called you a slut out loud. I'm just a concerned citizen who does not want you sluts' slutty behavior to be federally subsidized. You slut."

  29. Monsieur_Grumpe

    Let's see. Spewing hate for millions of dollars or working for the betterment of woman’s health.
    Who is the real slut?
    One guess is all you get.

  30. Doktor Zoom

    I think it is absolutely absurd that during these very serious political times, we are discussing personal sexual recreational activities before members of Congress.

    Yeah, because that's TOTALLY what Fluke testified about.

    Behold Rush Limbaugh: A man who can actually LIE while "apologizing."

    1. CivicHoliday

      My husband works for that company. The stock LITERALLY started dropping every day after that "slut" comment. I have a feeling the reason he apologized had nothing to do with Orange Bonerman calling him up to complain, it was that his corporate overlords threatened to remove his gold-plated buttplug and lock up the champagne and caviar. He cried and offered to teabag them but it was no use. He was forced to issue a public backhanded complement.

      1. not that Dewey

        That's not so surprising. I was only half-joking (about the Oxycontin addiction causing him to need to sleep a lot). As I mentioned upthread, that wasn't much of an apology, and it won't be enough. Credo and Change.org and MoveOn will continue to keep pressure on the remaining advertisers in light of/despite this non-apology. Rush fears the panicking avalanche of fleeing sponsors more than he misses the 5 advertisers who have already bailed.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        Must have been my e-mail that did it. I gave 'em 48 hours before they'd lose my account.

  31. mschouette

    Republican men are so fucking transparent. The heterosexual ones that have no hope of getting anything remotely resembling hot sex? They're the most misogynist. The ones that are the most homophobic? Gay to the core. The ones that are the biggest horn dogs? They preach family values. Do they think we don't see this?

  32. ChessieNefercat

    That fat fuck did not apologize! "I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke." No, no, no. One verbal slip, maybe (not) you get a pass. But for three days you escalated your attack, excoriating her over and over and repeatedly in every vile way possible. Also too, you bloated pus-ridden abscess on humanity? You LIED about what she said. Repeatedly. You fucking LIED. I didn't see any non-apology for that.

    She never asked for you or anyone else to pay for her personal needs. She thought her PRIVATE employer-provided health insurance plan should cover contraception. Taxpayers have nothing to do it.

    And? Insurance is pooling people with a myriad of lifestyles, genetics, and good and bad luck together. To keep the cost down for everyone.

    I don't want to pay for your fruitless attempts to get your depressed little winkie up, or the costs of your terrible eating habits or the costs of your smoking, or of your drug habits. But that's how insurance works, you stupid gasbag.

    You don't get to point fingers at others. I still remember my mother years ago blathering on about not wanting to pay for "gay lifestyle illnesses." She had no problem with the taxpayers paying her her cardiac bypasses, etc, due to her self-indulgent eating habits and total lack of exercise.

    The bastard didn't apologize for his repeated attacks, and he didn't apologize for his repeated lies about what Fluke said.

    Too little, too insincere, and too damn late.

    1. reliefsinn

      Fuck these people, if you want to have sex, and you're a young woman, you're a "slut", if you don't want to have sex, you're a "frigid bitch", if you're an older woman, doesn't matter if you want sex or not, you're an object of real contempt, either a sexless, middle-aged, menopausal hag or an object of pity, a "cougar" at best.
      So screw these people and their total hatred of women.

      1. Callyson

        And if you want to have sex, but not with a wingnut, you are a fucking bitch.
        Making me proud to be in that particular category.

  33. pinkocommi

    The irony is that there is no bigger slut than Rush Limbaugh who whores out his persona as a mouthpiece of the far right to make a buck. There is no more fitting fate than for him to spend the rest of his days on earth being the fat fuck Rush Limbaugh. Hopefully off the air.

  34. Joshua Norton

    Today, we salute Rush Limbaugh, a hero and a patriot.

    That would violate the separation of jerk and state!

  35. Slim_Pickins

    Wonkette weekend edition? How things have changed. This blog used to shutdown at about 10am on Thursdays like Congress.

  36. CivicHoliday

    Hey wait a minute Wonketteers, where did the corrections thread go? Did we embarrass the new girl too much about her attempts at giving this site integrity and she took it down?

    1. Loaded_Pants

      First this shit with Rush & you just had to mention Paglia? Gah! I'm having flashbacks to the early 1990s now.

  37. V572 Flambé

    The only thing that will move Limbaugh to a less prominent venue is when the advertisers quit. Only five have done so thus far.

    Did anyone see this young woman on MSNBC or wherever else she's appeared? She's 30, articulate, attractive, astonishingly even-tempered…and probably about to become very, very rich, at Limbaugh's insurance company's expense. He couldn't have picked a worse target.

    She says she wants to do public interest law. If she can get Rush put away, I'd say her work was done.

  38. sati_demise

    David Friend of Carbonite want to have a stern "talk with Limbaugh" before deciding whether or not to boycott.
    He had a stern "talk with Limbaugh" in 2009 too.

    It must have been about child prostitution in the Dominican Republic.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      I never really thought about how he would feel, since he is an irrelevant schmuck. But he also does love him some unpregnant sluts, so maybe he'd be all about this legislation.

  39. weej_bain

    Advertisers bail, and Butterdick Limpblow sayz "I'm sorry." Given that he is such an incredibly sorry pile of poo, for once in his miserable life he is correct. Yes Rush, you really are a seriously sorry mound of hillbilly heroin and boner builder.

  40. Chet Kincaid

    This whole brouhaha just demonstrates how ignorant and oblivious we men are about the health and biology of the Majority Sex in this country. Mrs. Kincaid doesn't use oral contraceptives, so we haven't had a reason to talk about them; if I didn't have professional reasons for knowing about their use for purposes other than contraception, I'd be just as dumb as the rest of us guys.

  41. Blueb4sunrise

    Washington CousCous Update.

    Money
    6,101
    35.6%
    Senile
    4,203
    24.6%
    Asshole
    4,203
    24.6%
    Pig fucker
    2,028
    11.8%

  42. fuflans

    i'm just glad this dialogue isn't happening around christmas when i have to go to old people parties.

  43. Badonkadonkette

    "He's being absurd," Santorum said. "But that's, you know, an entertainer can be absurd."

    You know who else is an entertainer, you whiny, frothy douche? Dan Savage.

  44. Badonkadonkette

    I understand why Limbaugh is so upset that taxpayers might have to foot the bill for Sandra Fluke's cysts. After all, it's been over 40 years since that fat coward weaseled out of Vietnam by claiming to have a cyst, and this country has been paying for it ever since.

    1. trampndirtdown

      They keep saying that Sandra Fluke is asking the taxpayers to pay her to have sex. She's not. She's asking that the health insurance that she already pays for — since she's a tuition-paying student, and has to have health insurance, often purchased from the university — cover contraception in the same way it covers any other medication.

      Because right now, students and employees at Catholic universities who use the university-provided health plan are being taxed for being female and wanting to use legal, medically indicated prescription medication. In addition to their premiums, they have to pay extra for their pills. Swiped from zuzu.

  45. anniegetyerfun

    Romney: Don't ask me! Jerbs!
    Santorum: What a ridiculous thing to say! But his job is to be ridiculous, is it not?
    Gingrich: The real outrage here is that Obama called the student to try to make her feel better. That's a horrible thing to do.

      1. anniegetyerfun

        Seriously, I was Googling around to see what he said, but I doubt anyone in his group has bothered to ask, really.

          1. Lascauxcaveman

            Now is that any way to talk about the only truly anti-war candidate?

            (I'm only saying this, because my wife caught my hippy brother-in-law coming out of the Republican caucus today – Washington state – and he admitted he was caucusing for Ron Paul. I had to think for about two minutes before I figured out why. Well, the anti-war thing *and* the legal dope.)

    1. horsedreamer_1

      He TPM reports Gingrich is more concerned with Obama's apology for the Quran burning.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Friend's statement is a thing of beauty too. Straight, no double talk, gets to the point. If I need luggage any time soon I'll be buying it from them.

      1. glamourdammerung

        Actually, they are a data backup service.

        Though they are fairly good from what I have heard from friends, so I was a bit surprised they advertised on the Drug Pig Radio Show in the first place.

        1. Chichikovovich

          Oops. Well, then all the data-backup I'm not going to buy, I'll be not-buying from them, exclusively.—

          1. Lascauxcaveman

            Carbonite? I thought they were all about fancy lightweight bicycle frames.

            And freezing Han Solo as a trophy for a gangster Hutt.

          2. Doktor Zoom

            The data backup firm actually licensed the name from Lucasfilm, which I find amusing.

            Me, I never use anything but Unobtanium.

  46. SudsMcKenzie

    Some of my best friends are "Sluts", that reminds me, I should really give them a call.

  47. flamingpdog

    OT, and I sent this link to the Tip Line, but since that's where tips go to die, local Republican official hilarity.

    Oh, and credit to non-Wonketeer LP for passing this one to me.

    1. BlueStateLibel

      The amazing thing is that this guy had "lovers"! There's hope for anyone, I guess.

  48. WinterOuthouse

    He's a fucking political leader until the shit hits the fan then the fuckstick is a comedian. If there's a God Limbaugh's cock will be caught in a blender

  49. Preacher_Griz

    Oh Great! Now Radio Personality Rush Limbaugh has apologized. Proving he's not only a RINO, but a RINO who bows and prostrates and apologizes.

    You can tell who are the real Conservative Christians. They are the ones who never bow or apologize!!! Like Rep Tom Tancredo!!!!

  50. voodooeconomics

    " I would like to apologize to Ms Fluke for being such a cock sucker" oops did i say that? ohhh I am so sorry..come back here sleep number bed..

  51. RavenRant

    Not totally OT, but Mr. Conscience himself, Sen. Roy Blunt, dumped his wife of 35 years to marry the Philip Morris lobbyist with whom he'd been having an adulterous affair. Oh, he also tried to funnel taxpayer dollars to Philip Morris.

    That is some flexible conscience! Adultery, home-wrecking, and graft: Perfectly alright. Contraception: Satan's Handiwork!

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Roy to his wife, upon announcing the divorce filing, said, "Fuck you, Ho! Yo' wrinkled goddamn pussy too old for B-Dog!"

  52. Callyson

    Oh, and regarding that very truly sincere apology of Limpballs–from HuffyPo:
    But he maintained that the birth control debate was about "personal sexual recreational activities," not any broader health questions, and compared contraception to sneakers.
    Yeah, right, asshole. Tell that to, among others, WebMD.com, which points out seven other health reasons to take the pill, including lower cancer risk and endometriosis relief… http://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/features/o
    Asshole.

  53. mavenmaven

    Those guys were geniuses, the ones who put those fake ads in the Hawaiian newspapers in the early 1960s, who then created right wing talk radio so that the manchurian broadcaster Rush Limbaugh would decimate the right in 2012 so that the Black Socialist Kenyan Muslim would rule the US for a second term.

  54. ttommyunger

    Jabba the Gut, apologetic? That's rich, he doesn't have a sincere bone in his morbidly obese body. I personally don't give a fuck what he says about anything and I never have. Shit, we have a street-corner preacher who works our town square every Sunday. I don't pay any attention to him, either. Jeez!

  55. DerrickWildcat

    That fat grubby homunculus has been married 4 times…with no kids. He himself is one big contraceptive device. His last 3 wives are still sitting in a shower sobbing hysterically while scrubbing and puking.

    Sorry to be so mean, but this misogynistic race baiting piece of shit doesn't deserve a lick of good will.

    1. dyedwool

      Hahahahahahaha. "A lick of good will."

      He doesn't deserve any of the blow jobs he's never gotten, either.

  56. amoosefloats

    Fatty should hold a oxycontin between his acreage of butt flab, so he does not go back to rehab like the drug whore he is.

  57. valthemus

    As is so often the case, the real tragedy is that well before the end of October, voters will have forgotten all about this classic episode of The Right Wing Asshat Show. Sigh.

  58. DahBoner

    Did Rush ever sell his Manhattan apartment? You know, the one that looked like Liberace puked Pink Grasshoppers all over the walls and ceiling?

  59. elburritodeluxe

    Rush is a guy with three divorces under his ample belt, so I guess he knows a thing or two about healthy relationships.

  60. C_R_Eature

    "Hi, Mr. Limbaugh. By way of accepting your vacuous, self serving smarmy, utterly insincere non-apology apology, I'd like to offer you this Whaffer-Thin Mint. Bon Apptit. "

    *Runs away, diving behind planter*

  61. ElPinche

    Rush Limbaugh is a big fat misogynist simply because he has to put his wife through sweaty pig sex. Thank Allah that the oxycontin balances out with the levitra. His poor wife has to learn to live with bestial rape. I smell a Dominick Dunne story in the making.

  62. stew1

    Hey Rush, that Oxycontin is looking sweeter and sweeter. C'mon babe, have a taste. Swallowing the whole bottle gives an incredible high. I'll call your housekeeper and arrange the deal.

  63. arcadesproject

    hoo boy i seen a picutre of rush on network news and he was one thin guy. you all must've photo shopped that hog with a tiarra on.

  64. scarface99

    hey limbaw; you re not funny you effing pos! i hex you you bloated pasty fuck! i got a couple left, i wasted one on britebart a couple of days ago but it was worth it!!

  65. luckismine

    I was very sad to see that ProFlowers pulled their advertisement today. Was looking forward to sending my grandma "slut roses" for Mothers Day.

  66. iburl

    Rush is just pissed off because these women won't use his preferred method of birth control: Enshrouding your negligible genitalia within the blubbery folds of your own corpulence.

Comments are closed.