SHODDY JOURNALISM  5:09 pm March 2, 2012

Corrections: Your Wonkette’s Week In Mistakes

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Go to Journalism Jail.In the story “Jerry Brown To Washington Times Reporter: ‘Are You a Moonie?’” we referred to idiot reporter Kerry Picket as him, he, his, etc. We are sorry to report that Kerry Picket is in fact a woman. This shames us all — all women, that is, as Picket’s tete-a-tete avec Governor Brown was the worst reportorial outing since Diane Sawyer slurred her way through one of this year’s 437 GOP primary debates.

In the story “Montana’s Top Federal Judge Says Obama’s Mom Screwed Dogs,” we wrote this:

“The only reason I can explain it to you is I am not a fan of our president,” Bush-nominated federal judge Richard Cebull said instead of apologizing [about having har-har-ed a joke about the president's mother screwing dogs].

We rate this mostly true. Cebull did come closer to apologizing than any of the other 42 GOP officials who have forwarded racist jokes about the president, saying “I didn’t send it as racist, although that’s what it is.” Since then, he has filed a complaint against himself, which is hilarious.

In the story, “Neo-Nazi Scumball Would Like To Be Your Newest GOP Sweetheart, Illinois,” we called Rep. Frank Wolf the “hopeful eventual opponent” of Neo-Nazi GOP Congressional candidate Arthur Jones. In fact, Rep. Wolf does not represent Illinois and is just a random person whom Art Jones called a Jew. We regret the error.

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 165 comments }

Barb March 3, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Thanks for the corrections, Rebecca. Quite frankly, we were all drunk and didn't notice anyway.

Designer_Rants March 3, 2012 at 2:58 pm

I most certainly was not drunk! I was mostly just hangin' with Breitbart, screaming at people on the street until that whole thing went awry. Then I whippet-binged. Not drunk though!

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Alcohol LIBEL!!!1! And … beer trucknutz!

Beowoof March 4, 2012 at 8:48 pm

and butt secks how can we leave out the butt secks; and salted rat dicks. I would go on but I need a drink.

Bently Thurgrew, III March 6, 2012 at 10:44 am

I'm drunk now, so I don' think I will understand the corrections.

not that Dewey March 3, 2012 at 2:12 pm

It's an honest mistake. "K-E-R-R-Y" is how boy-Kerrys typically spell their names. Also, she didn't want to be associated with pig's blood.

gurukalehuru March 3, 2012 at 4:13 pm

As in Kerry Grant.

not that Dewey March 3, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Archibald Leach? Yes. Good example.

I have a colleague boy-Kerry, and there's Kerry "Wayward Son" Livgren. I'm sure there are others.

Geminisunmars March 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

And actress Kerry Washington

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

And sportscaster Herry Kerry.

Barb March 3, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Oh, and here is a preemptive correction for next week. It's "super" Tuesday and not "Fat" Tuesday. Throwing beads and Moon Pies at MissTaken and me will not make us show our boobies any more than usual. Thanks!

Fred_Wertham_Jr March 3, 2012 at 2:23 pm

You didn't have to let Rebecca know that, Barb.

Barb March 3, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Sorry my friend.

JustPixelz March 3, 2012 at 2:55 pm

At least we can still see your kitten.

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Kitten? I think your choice of words was not the best.

rocktonsam March 3, 2012 at 5:11 pm

"anymore than usual."

okay, that was close.

Beowoof March 4, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Did I miss a meeting? Oh well the SO would probably stop showing me her's if I looked so probably better that way. Time for another drink.

rickmaci March 3, 2012 at 2:20 pm

"…Kerry Picket is in fact a woman."

Long form birth certificate or GTFO!!!!

natoslug March 3, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Transvaginal ultrasound or GTFO!!!!

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

SHOW US HER TITS!!!

dandalion March 10, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Be careful… there are guys out that put MY rack to shame :) Just because Kerry has tits, doesn't mean anything :D

flamingpdog March 10, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Aw, that's just a Wonkette meme. I lerves mini-chests!

Joshua Norton March 3, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Since then, he has filed a complaint against himself, which is hilarious.

On the upside, I hear Fox News pays better than the Federal bench, so there's that to fall back on.

Jukesgrrl March 3, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Or maybe BET would like to hire a racist voice for … you know … balance. (Viacom would probably get FCC bonus points for that.)

Biel_ze_Bubba March 3, 2012 at 2:34 pm

OT, but check out the petition to get advertisers to pull their support for Rude Limpballs.

Five corporations have yanked their ads so far. This is led by the same crew who ran Glenn Beck off of Fucks Gnus, so there's a decent chance at hitting Rush where it hurts: his wallet (which is also too fat for its own good.)

(WingTards howling about how this violates Limpball's First Amendment rights in 3, 2, 1…)

Designer_Rants March 3, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Too late, already heard the howling on facebook. I explained that signing this petition to tell advertisers that Rush is poisoning the intellectual well is ALSO free speech.

Jukesgrrl March 3, 2012 at 3:24 pm

I don't think that's OT. This article is about "corrections" and some people need to be corrected even more than others. Don't forget about Bill O'Reilly either; he doubled down on Limbaugh's bet. He said "asking the government" to pay for college women's birth control is the same as him expecting the government to pay for the protective gear he wore under his Marist College football uniform. As if he ever played college football.

Jukesgrrl March 3, 2012 at 3:32 pm

One more addition to the Corrections File:

Communications / Media Relations, Clear Channel Corporation
(210) 822-2828
publicrelations@clearchannel.com

starfanglednut March 3, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Oh, for fucks sake.

paris biltong March 3, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Fine time to bring this up you Bub. She just bought the blog and you now peddle scary shit about boycotting advertisers. Works both ways my friend. Rebecca's gonna be pretty pissed when she loses the income from those animal protection people after we make one too many jokes about about zoophilia.

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

I volunteer to personally visit Kortney and offer hours of "apology" if it comes to that.

HistoriCat March 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Take along some cucumbers – I understand Kortney loves her vegetables.

horsedreamer_1 March 3, 2012 at 4:18 pm

At least Glenn had Beck University to which to return. Limbaugh, college dropout*, will be left doddering in his West Palm mansion**, collecting his oxy-infused pee (for later re-usE?), as he'll have nowhere to turn. I mean, satellite radio already has Howard Stern — & I'd much rather Adrienne Curry ride the Sybian than, say, Bill Kristol.

*You know who else is a college dropout?

**You know who else had a mansion in Palm Beach?

HempDogbane March 3, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Is Kerry Picket still dating Debra Winger? And does she still have only one leg?

Barrelhse March 3, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Harelip.

ttommyunger March 3, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Wood-Eye!

FraAnima March 3, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Hunchback!

ttommyunger March 3, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Hee, hee!

PuckStopsHere March 3, 2012 at 2:40 pm

That judge person still said Obama's momma fucked a dog, right? Just want to make sure we got the gist of the thing correct.

JustPixelz March 3, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Well, technically the joke said that; the judge merely repeated it. But in today's Fox-Fueled media world, that doesn't matter. Like if a college student says some students need birth control for medical reasons, she is a "slut" and a "prostitute".

Designer_Rants March 3, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Yep. You got it. I heard he dictated the email while saluting the flag and pinching his dick between a breast pocket-sized copy of the constitution. So it's patriotic

Jukesgrrl March 3, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Yes and he stressed in his personal introduction that this so-called joke "touched" him. He used the word twice.

"Show me on the doll where it touched you, Your Honor."

Chichikovovich March 3, 2012 at 3:52 pm

True, the "joke" said that, but it said so much more. It suggested that dog-fucking was a natural next step beyond having sex with Africans, with both of them things that only occur to white women if they are sluts, and then only at drug-fueled orgies. It presupposed this about Obama's mother, (as far as one can ascertain) solely on the basis of the fact that she married an African man, and subsequently married an Indonesian and lived in Indonesia, since there doesn't seem to be anything about her life or character that indicates someone who would be a drug-addled nymphomaniac. This is, after all, a woman who completed a PhD while a single mother, and who also (with the help of her parents) raised a son who was so remarkable that he became the first African-American president of the United States. To judge from Obama's memoir, she was exceptionally robust and resourceful in the face of adversity. So the joke that the judge found so "touching" conveys – there's no other way to read it – that merely for marrying two men outside of her race, and perhaps also just for being a woman who found her own way in the world instead of conforming to society's expectations, a woman of otherwise remarkable accomplishments is revealed to be a woman who would participate in drug filled bestiality orgies.

So let's not sell the judge short – the ugliness in his soul that his enthusiastic response to this joke displays is no ordinary crassness.

paris biltong March 3, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Still, it's an attempt at humor. Extremely bad joke but a joke nevertheless. I've seen some of those on this site, although certainly never from regulars and their authors quickly vanished. But these bad jokes exist and if the judge is guilty of anything, in my view, it is of having stupendously bad taste. I somehow don't consider it conclusive evidence of his actual racism, any more than our occasional borderline jokes make us homophobic, misogynist, xenophobic, etc. Now let's imagine the kid's a ginger. Does the joke work a little better? Would Jim be offended?

finallyhappy March 3, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I disrespectfullly disagree. Racist- conclusively?- I don't know- but close enough for a federal judge.

Chichikovovich March 3, 2012 at 5:56 pm

You're one of my favorite posters here, so I hate to disagree, but I have to come down on the other side of this one. And the evidence from one tasteless attempt at a joke is far from conclusive, I'll grant you that. And I also agree that we should give a lot of latitude to poorly thought out jokes and weak attempts at humor. People make mistakes, people say poorly thought through things.

But there are also some statements, even if they are dressed up as jokes, that do reveal much about the person because the joke is simply incomprehensible unless you share certain attitudes. Let's try your proposed experiment. And let's say we pick some arbitrary woman – let's say Finland's president, about whom I know nothing except that some have claimed she resembles Conan O'Brien.

"Mom, why do I have dark hair when you have red hair? Teemu*, the way that party went, you should be glad you don't bark."

Now that isn't so much an insult to President Halonen as much as it is a pair of sentences that don't make any sense at all. People wouldn't even recognize them as a joke. It only becomes a string of sentences that make sense if you add certain assumptions – that having sex with someone with dark hair is promiscuous, that it is the sort of thing that is on a spectrum that (allowing for considerable exaggeration, of course) includes bestiality. Also, it doesn't make sense except as a slap at the woman mentioned – that it is supposed to reflect a loose character. Knowing nothing about President Halonen but that she is the president of a country with a noble tradition of warfare on skis, and exceptional biathletes to show for it, I assume that she is a fairly disciplined, straight – up person, and so this would doubly make no sense to me. If it were made about (say) Paris Hilton, I still wouldn't think it made sense, but I could see what was being said – she has lived an undisciplined and (what some would regard as) morally suspect life.

So that's the point – it's not that he sent around a tasteless joke. It's that the joke itself can only be found funny – can only be *understood* – if you share certain presuppositions. It's that which I find unsettling. Not the forwarding of the joke as such.

Of course, it does happen that jokes can have recognizable presuppositions that one might not share, but you know that other people have them, and because of that you understand what the joke is about, what it is getting at. I don't think that is what is going on here – the judge's email definitely indicated he was all in with the assumptions that convey sense on the joke.

* I don't know if President Halonen has a son named Teemu. Work with me here, people.

paris biltong March 4, 2012 at 5:21 am

You're probably right Chich. I'm just trying to find some redeeming crumbs in the ruins of democracy. The fact that the email was leaked is further evidence of the judge's character: I would hope that there are at least seven persons on my own mailing list whom I can trust.

HempDogbane March 4, 2012 at 1:06 am

A lifetime of "yo' Momma's so fat" jokes, then just one "yo' Momma fucked a dog" joke and they never let you forget it !

HempDogbane March 3, 2012 at 4:33 pm

The judge was just fleshing out some Santorum thoughts and applying them to heterosexuals.

Guppy March 3, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Yes, a federal judge equated miscegenation with bestiality.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 3, 2012 at 11:48 pm

To be fair, the kid was "lucky" he didn't bark, so the joke did put bestiality a notch below miscegenation.

That makes it OK, right?

Bigger problem for the judge, in all seriousness, is that there's no way on earth he can claim to be impartial if a case challenging an Obama administration policy ever comes before him. He'll have to recuse himself, which is fine, but horribly embarassing for a federal judge … even this one.

LetUsBray March 4, 2012 at 12:44 am

Oh, surely that's just the start. I have to think pretty much anyone who's black, married to or in a relationship with someone who's black, or known to be a supporter of the president has excellent grounds to request that he recuse himself from any case of theirs that comes before him.

And anyone who falls into those categories and I imagine plenty of others I haven't thought of who've lost cases he's heard are working up appeals for new trials as I type this.

Looks to me like he's made himself as useless in practical terms as he already is in moral ones.

MiniMencken March 3, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Corrections? What's next, opinion pieces by Ross Douthat?

JustPixelz March 3, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Becky-Bot just wants to prove she is not George Dubya pretending to be snark-food chef.

horsedreamer_1 March 3, 2012 at 4:19 pm

No. Just cross posts to his NR movie reviews.

DustBowlBlues March 3, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Fair and balanced?

Biel_ze_Bubba March 3, 2012 at 11:49 pm

For semi-pro snarkers like the Wonketteers, it's like going back for seconds.

natoslug March 3, 2012 at 2:46 pm

CARRICKSUNS ISN"T HOW WE DO THINGS ROUND HEAR!!!!!11!!!!!ONELEBENTY!!!!!

Blueb4sunrise March 3, 2012 at 3:01 pm

It's a slippery slope I tells ya. No good will come of this.

Unless Rebecca is wearing a 'hot female cop' outfit.

fartknocker March 3, 2012 at 2:46 pm

In other fun news, the women of Oklahoma are pissed off at it's legislature for the proposed Personhood bill. My favorite is a Democratic senator who stood in front of the protest at the State Capital with the sign saying "If I Wanted the Government in my Womb I'd Fuck a Senator."
http://newsok.com/sen.-judy-eason-mcintyre-of-tul

Jukesgrrl March 3, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Wow, Oklahoma LadyBalls are huuuugge.

DustBowlBlues March 3, 2012 at 5:12 pm

They have to be, just for us to survive as Democrats in OK.

Jukesgrrl March 4, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I thought of you when I wrote that.My neighbor in Tucson is a Tulsa native and a Democrat.She tells me stories … and I always think, “Poor DustBowl.”

horsedreamer_1 March 3, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Get her to comment here.

finallyhappy March 3, 2012 at 4:43 pm

I am sending her a contribution

DustBowlBlues March 3, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Since I try to ignore the state where I live, I get the news from the wonket. This news makes me happy, indeed.

Mumbletypeg March 3, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Cebull did come closer to apologizing…Since then, he has filed a complaint against himself

To wit:

“To say it’s inappropriate and stupid is an extreme understatement,” Cebull said.

He still sounds like the typical douchebag evading responsibility for a loathesome act of expression, which alone betrays his odious mentality. Apology FAIL, Judge. Rebecca: I demand a re-retraction!

LetUsBray March 4, 2012 at 12:19 am

He COULD always admit he failed to uphold the standards for his position and resign. He doesn't appear to be doing that. The Party of Personal Responsibility, ladies and gents!

imissopus March 3, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Will next week's Corrections correct the fact that this week's stories were called "journalism" in the first place? They are more like "shoddy frames upon which you degenerates can hang lots of poop jokes." Though I'm sure Layne phrased it differently in making his sales pitch.

chitrade March 3, 2012 at 3:07 pm

I would have paid big money to be in that pitch meeting. After all, this blog is a fucking valuable thing. You don't just give it away. It's fucking golden.

imissopus March 3, 2012 at 3:30 pm

That's one way of looking at it. Others would say this entire blog could be shipped Afghanistan and no one will have lost any.

chitrade March 3, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Oh, I've shipped Afghanistan plenty of times ("Afghanistan / Kirk — who loves poppy", "Afghanistan / Pakistan — Alexander's erotic journey"), and I can say without any reservation that plenty will have not lost any. Or whatever.

Tell me about your Afghanistan fan fiction!

Doktor Zoom March 3, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I wrote a story where I became Obama's best pal and we had adventures together, but it was a pretty transparent Barry Sue fantasy.

starfanglednut March 3, 2012 at 3:51 pm

We could just trade it for some cakes we like.

Designer_Rants March 3, 2012 at 3:20 pm

"shoddy frames upon which you degenerates can hang lots of poop jokes."

Such beautiful prose could bring tears to a butcher's eye.

imissopus March 4, 2012 at 11:15 pm

What I lack in disposable income, I make up for in talent.

HistoriCat March 3, 2012 at 10:58 pm

We could hang all sorts of poop jokes – if only Wonkette allowed comments.

CapnFatback March 3, 2012 at 2:48 pm

we called Rep. Frank Wolf the “hopeful eventual opponent” of Neo-Nazi GOP Congressional candidate Arthur Jones. In fact, Rep. Wolf does not represent Illinois and is just a random person whom Art Jones called a Jew

Jones was clearly fooled by a Wolf in heeb's clothing.

yyyaz March 3, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Wow. Bow.

ttommyunger March 3, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Natoslug is keerect! Needz moar misteaks!

ttommyunger March 3, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Also: "Apologies? We don' need no stinkin' apologies!" As well as, too, in addition.

Sparky McGruff March 3, 2012 at 3:57 pm

I think she's just trying to rack up those weekend hits. Wonkette doesn't need corrections, apologies, or — for that matter — facts.

ttommyunger March 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Snark will do just fine. Wonkette snarks, you deride.

V572 Flambé March 3, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Speaking of mistakes:

http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/03/romney-

Mittens is gonna hafta sound the back-up klaxon long and hard on this one. It's true that Santorum is our dream GOPer candidate. But Mitt is doing everything he can to pull even.

BarackMyWorld March 3, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I'm going to repeat my rant from the other thread when Chichikovovich brought it up…

This is pretty mind-blowing to me. It isn't just "flip-flopping," this is Romney actively asking Obama to do exactly what Obama ended up doing, a year before attacking him for it.

It'd be like if in 1777, Thomas Jefferson was criticizing people for signing the Declaration of Independence and denying it was the document he wrote, or Abraham Lincoln coming out in favor of slavery after the Civil War and claiming the Emancipation Proclamation wasn't his idea. It is complete, obvious dishonesty.

Logically this letter SHOULD BE the silver bullet that kills his campaign…..assuming the press does its job and reports on it instead of letting the campaigns do all the hard work.

(Something else, though, this really shows how amateur the other Republican campaigns are. This should have been page 1 in their opposition research, assuming they even did any.)

V572 Flambé March 4, 2012 at 10:43 am

Sorry I missed Chichikovovich’s earlier post. It is freaking astonishing that Buzzfeed found this, and not CNN or the NYT or the Santorum campaign. This does demonstrate that no one ever reads anything but the front page of USA Today.

chitrade March 3, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Hey, it's possible Art *saw* Rep Wolf in Illinois. After all, he could be one of those "wandering jews" I hear so much about.

I can see how Art would worry.

Nostrildamus March 3, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Other regrettable mistakes this week: making tempura in the nude.

V572 Flambé March 3, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Once you go to the open-pit barbecue at the nudist colony, you never go back again.

Doktor Zoom March 3, 2012 at 4:08 pm

You've heard about the Tempura Sisterhood, right? It's a support group for lightly-battered women.

yyyaz March 3, 2012 at 4:20 pm

"Lightly-battered." Were they fried?

Sharkey March 3, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Perhaps I will name one of my spawn "Rep" just to mess with Wonkette.

cheetojeebus March 3, 2012 at 3:09 pm

I hope nobody lost sleep over this.

PS That Issa thread is so long, I'll just say it here. To wit; Geeze what a dick.
there, got that out of my system. Next up, A nap on the sofa.

Chillatte March 3, 2012 at 3:18 pm

You also forgot to mention that Kerry Picket is a total bimbo. Is The Washington Times where FauxNews rejects go?

Jukesgrrl March 3, 2012 at 3:42 pm

She spells Picket with one T so we don't think she's related to Wilson Pickett, A Great American®.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9yIoVuUM-M

Tilley March 3, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Plus as well she's a whaht girl. Thanx BTW for the link to the awesome Wicked Wilson Pickett, a truly great American and without whose music life would be dull and relatively meaningless.

Jukesgrrl March 3, 2012 at 4:56 pm

The thing that kills me about that film is: it shows the OPENING song of his performance. Spotlight artist in the Jukesgrrl Hall of Fame (and, yes, I know his personal life left a lot to be desired).

Tundra Grifter March 5, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Did you ever see the movie "The Commitments?" Am I the only person on earth who remembers it?

Tundra Grifter March 5, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Was that Wicked Pickett or Otis Day (and the Nights)?

MinAgain March 3, 2012 at 3:34 pm

It's always easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

sezme March 3, 2012 at 3:36 pm

If I'd wanted accurate journamalism, would I (wood eye?) have come to Wonkette?

Also, I'm sorry if my comments over this past week have offended anyone and will continue with same in the future.

ProgressiveInga March 3, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Kerry is a slut's name.

horsedreamer_1 March 3, 2012 at 4:22 pm

KERRY LOUISE LIBEL ACCURACY IN REPORTING!!!!

Tilley March 3, 2012 at 3:50 pm

All right, MzNewEditrix person — just don't let it happen again, you slut!
Kidding! Kidding!

Yah I'm all down in the dumps today, fellow Wonkets and Wonkettes. Tell me something fun! Storm blew out my computer settings last night and it took me like 5 minutes to get the Wonkette to let me back in. My yard is a mess, as well as am I.

Jukesgrrl March 3, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Here's a song to help you along with the clean-up. Best to you! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6TKO-P3Dkc

Tilley March 3, 2012 at 5:12 pm

thanks Jukesgrrl — I always loved those guys.

DustBowlBlues March 3, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Does your yard have little bits of insulation all over it? I know that I hate when tornadoes drop that shit on my yard.

Tilley March 3, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Nah, we didn't get it that bad over in my neck o' the woods. Just lots of trees down and limbs, sticks, and curious odds & ends all over the place. The spouse saw a vulture in the street disemboweling a dead possum. I don't think we've ever had vultures around here before … the ends times, I guess?

Loaded_Pants March 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

I "slept in" today. Got up & checked the news near my hometown & it got hit by a tornado some & homes were damaged. Called my folks immediately. Their house didn't get hit, thankfully. They just had their power out for awhile.
When I read a local article about it I found out, not too surprisingly, that the local Emergency Services Coordinator is someone I went to HS with. Small town, indeed.

BigRadio March 3, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Rebecca, at least you didn't make a TRIsomyG joke.

gullywompr March 3, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Breitbart is still dead, though, right?

BigRadio March 3, 2012 at 4:15 pm
Gunner Asch March 3, 2012 at 8:35 pm

I dunno – is it 3 days yet?

Loaded_Pants March 3, 2012 at 8:38 pm

I think he's just spending a year dead for tax reasons.

gullywompr March 4, 2012 at 1:42 am

Oooooo…

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Would it help if Chevy Chase went on SNL tonight and announced the Breitfart was still dead?

Extemporanus March 3, 2012 at 3:56 pm

In related connections, it was in fact Ken Layne who tragically died last week whilst street walking, and Andrew Breitbart who completed sex reassignment surgery, changed his name to Rebecca, and purchased our Wonkette.

We regret the error. And the image.

BigRadio March 3, 2012 at 4:19 pm

BTW, I like to call my avatard a Rorschach Butt Blot.

Extemporanus March 3, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Holy shit! That explains why I keep seeing it in my magic underwear!

(p.s. You mispelled "Rorschat".)

BigRadio March 3, 2012 at 11:47 pm

Ah yes, rhymes with asshat.

Extemporanus March 3, 2012 at 5:50 pm

CORRECTION: In an earlier comment, the word "corrections" was inexplicably changed to "connections".

The only reason I can explain to you is that Steve Jobs is not a fan of my p-ness. I didn't submit it as typist, although that's what it is.

I apologize if any of you were off-handed, and sincerely regret the air.

Chichikovovich March 3, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Errata: In the post replying to Extemporanus's post beginning "CORRECTION: In an earlier comment…", the word "Errata" should read "Erratum".

We regret the error.

Extemporanus March 3, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Dave? Dave Eggers?!

I want my signed copy of House of Leaves back, metafucker!

natoslug March 3, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Dave's not here, man . . .

BarackMyWorld March 3, 2012 at 3:58 pm

We are sorry to report that Kerry Picket is in fact a woman.

Plucked her eyebrows on the way, shaved her legs and then he was a she. She says "Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side." And the colored girls African-American ladies go "Doo, doo doo, doo doo, doo doo doo…"

paris biltong March 3, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Amazing. Wonkette's got a new owner, editor and ombudsman. Nice to have you on board. Some of my best friends are Swedish.
Now for that Kerry person, is she the one who's running for the Senate in Nebraska? What does that make Debra Winger. I'm clearly confused, probably because I'm in a different time zone.

Chichikovovich March 3, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Some of my best friends are Swedish.

You shouldn't say that out loud – they might not let you back into Finland.

Doktor Zoom March 3, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Kerry Picket and the Onion Gap was such an awesome band.

not that Dewey March 3, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Not to mention being a bunch of sick fucks.

Young girl, get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run girl,
You're much too young girl

With all the charms of a woman
You've kept the secret of your youth
You led me to believe
You're old enough
To give me Love
And now it hurts to know the truth, Oh, etc etc

Doktor Zoom March 3, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Yeah, the suits in Markieting said that "Gary Puckett and the Skeezy Creepers" just didn't test well.

not that Dewey March 3, 2012 at 6:32 pm

On the other hand, the suits in Marketing had absolutely no problem with making a buck off pederasty. GREEN LIGHT

CivicHoliday March 3, 2012 at 4:12 pm

FYI Bex (can I call you Bex? No? Ok Bex it is anyway), Wonkette isn't *technically* real journalism, so you don't need to worry yourself with those high-falutin' fact checking endeavors, you can just finish your week then relax with a case of [insert favorite microbrew of choice], and watch all the Maddow shows on your DVR so you can come up with new material come Monday. Cheers!

HistoriCat March 5, 2012 at 10:54 am

Don't discourage her – I like this weekend post thing.

gurukalehuru March 3, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Gosh, Rebecca, Ken never apologized. He was much more of a "Fuck you" kind of guy. This kinder, gentler Wonkette is going to take some getting used to.

Tundra Grifter March 5, 2012 at 7:25 pm

gurukalehuru:

Ken's idea of a correction: "I wrote that you were born in Bummfuck, Idaho, and you say you weren't. Well, you should have been."

gurukalehuru March 3, 2012 at 4:21 pm

On the other hand, if it was just an excuse to start a new thread on a Saturday, I salute your initiative. As they used to say on Hee-Haw, Saaaaaaaaaaaalute!

horsedreamer_1 March 3, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Being a Cali Commie Girl (which of course are Comrade Roth's favorite, when hanging with Manuel Noriega), I assume these put the bud in ombudsman.

yyyaz March 3, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Corrections? What, was Layne morally weak?

Come here a minute March 3, 2012 at 4:25 pm

This place is already going down the tubes. If there is one thing to learn from the life of Andrew Breitbart, the one thing is never, ever, admit you made a mistake!

Jukesgrrl March 3, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Better to repeat your mistakes constantly until the become government policy. Then start shrieking that they are too librul.

Guppy March 3, 2012 at 4:27 pm

What's the more shocking: Wonkette admitting mistakes, or Wonkette posting on a Saturday afternoon?

orygoon March 3, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Shouldn't Rebecca be out selling advertising? WE aren't paying your bills, girl.

BarackMyWorld March 3, 2012 at 4:35 pm

I hope everyone appreciates that Rebecca is already on her 5th article since taking over yesterday. Or at least I do.

flamingpdog March 3, 2012 at 10:01 pm

I would appreciate it even moar if the other four articles had the same cleavage picture as the second one.

BigRadio March 3, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Love is never having to say you're sorry.

Tagg Romney

Steverino247 March 3, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.

mavenmaven March 3, 2012 at 4:39 pm

If she is in fact a Moonie, then we can group marry her to Richard Cebull as penance for both of them.

BlueStateLibel March 3, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Are you also going to tell us that you made a mistake and Breitbart is stil alive?

DustBowlBlues March 3, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Being an old in real life and a kind of old in wonkette life (but not as old as since 2004, like I said last night. Old as in rediscovering wonkette.com during 2008 election. Or something. I'm old. I can't remember) there are some things Rebecca should know, so she doesn't have to ask questions.

Based on my institutional memory:
Trucknutz was a wonkette meme for years. Hard as Ken and Jim tried to put it away for keeps, the wonkeratti keep resurrecting it. Come on. It's trucknutz.

"Also" was tossed into a comment randomly, ala Sarah Palin.

A detractor once called us "the wonket" and that stuck around. I still use it, in fact, though no one remembers it.

"our" and "my" wonkette I use in quotes because they were both once used during an "oh shit. Ken's shutting down "our" the wonket!

And someone who calls herself "Dust Bowl Blues" (if that's even her real name) refers to the wonkeratti as a bunch of potty-mouthed losers.

As a site frequented by unemployed English majors, the wonkeratti have been known to spend days making fun of a winger's grammar or spelling. Also.

For this walk down memory lane, "You're welcome. "

PS: Will someone attest that I was using winger before David Brooks used it in his column? 'Cuz I'm thinking of suing.

ProgressiveInga March 3, 2012 at 6:27 pm

I hereby attest that David Brooks is a douch-nozzle of the first order and most certainly co-opted the term "winger" from D. B. Blues. And buttsecks. Also, too.

~P. Inga

UW8316154 March 3, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Everything is funny to you, wonket.

Gunner Asch March 3, 2012 at 8:45 pm

And The Defenestration of Prague has come around on the guitar a couple of times…I look to Wonkette for all my postgraduate studies.

Geminisunmars March 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

You forgot cakes we like.

Jukesgrrl March 4, 2012 at 3:49 pm

And that grocery list someone found at Walmart. THAT was a keeper.

rocktonsam March 3, 2012 at 5:09 pm

"Corrections are apologies fir the weak."

- Fox News

Jukesgrrl March 4, 2012 at 3:50 pm

"Apologies are an opportunity to repeat a lie." —Rush Limbaugh

Tundra Grifter March 5, 2012 at 9:41 am

Rebecca:

Personally, I'm relieved your roster of first week mistakes did not include buying Wonkette.

HistoriCat March 5, 2012 at 10:59 am

You don't think she's looking in a mirror and muttering, "if only I had held out – I could have bought the Breitbart empire for a song"?

Tundra Grifter March 5, 2012 at 11:33 am

HC:

Without Mr. Breitbart, his "empire" is just a bunch of URL's.

Wonkette has us!

elburritodeluxe March 5, 2012 at 11:09 am

This is more corrections in a week than Fox News hass issued in 10 years!

elburritodeluxe March 5, 2012 at 11:11 am

In my last comment I misspelled the word has. I deeply regret my error.

Geminisunmars March 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Don't forget Kerry on Sergeant

flamingpdog March 4, 2012 at 12:07 am

Sorry, No Time for Sergeants.

Geminisunmars March 4, 2012 at 1:59 am

Even Sergeant York? Hmmmm?

Jukesgrrl March 5, 2012 at 8:42 pm

One of my all-time favorites.The scene where the weird lead sings Try a Little Tenderness while the promoter is having his brilliant plans fall apart is killer.

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