baby you can drive my car

Car Robber Congressman Saddened By Focus On One Teensy Little Remark

Cry, Cry Baby.Renowned car thief and Chairman of the House Oversight Committee Darrell Issa thinks it is terribly unfair that your panties are in such a wad just because some bloated drug addict called a nice young co-ed a “slut,” when the real attacks are on Religious zzzzzzz.

Wrote Issa to Elijah Cummings, the ranking minority member of said committee, “I am struck by your clear failure to recognize your own contributions to the denigrations of this discussion and attacks on people of religious faith,” before continuing on at length about “disingenuous” and “inflammatory” rhetoric and even “disgusting” “personal attacks” of the anatomical variety on the women on his staff. (Heh. Staff.)

What? Attacks on women? Your editrix is horrified and appalled to think that such things could happen to women in the US — or at least to good GOP women who clearly do not consume their birth control by the barrel. (As Gordo Lardbucket has pointed out, the sluttier you are, the more Pills you must take, because Science.)

Then Darrell Issa cried a bunch, because he is a giant crybaby, who cries.


About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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  1. Barb

    Rush can have all the Dr Porkenheimer's Boner Juice pills he wants and women should be forced to have two babies every year we are fertile.

      1. weej_bain

        Oh I think Barb does. The first word is "lock" and the second "load." Then you might, slight chance but hey, get a scintilla of Limpblow's attention drawn away from his 24/7 ego fapping.

    1. OC_Surf_Serf

      Let's see: Nine into twelve, carry the seven, take the derivative…two a year ???

      Mormons and West Virginians are special!

    2. flamingpdog

      Oh come on, Barb, once the sperm and the egg meet up and decide to share a room, they're a person! Women can poop out hundreds of zygotes a year – God will take care of them. And if he doesn't – blame it on OBAMA!

      1. Barb

        Good to see ya, Demme! I'm giving him all kinds of second thoughts. I'm bitching to his sponsors and six of them have dropped him already.

        1. DemmeFatale

          Good for you!
          I'll never forgive Snapple for sponsoring him.
          Remember how you could always spot these pin-heads, back in the day?
          They were always drinking Snapple and frothing about "feminazis."
          (Does he still say that?)

          1. Barb

            Glenn Beck did something stupid during Christmas of 2010 and Omaha Steaks called me for my usual gift order and I refused to buy anything from them. I'll call the companies I use and have them pull up my order history and then I tell them that I will no longer do business with them.

    1. Isyaignert

      Haha… cunts on your staff… you said cunts on your staff.

      Sorry for teh thrid grade humor; it's late and I'm tired.

  2. littlebigdaddy

    All attractive young women are sluts because they won't have sexytime with Rush Lardbucket. Possibly LESBIAN sluts as well.

      1. OneDollarJuana

        Rush would be a slut, except one of the slut requirements is actually having a lot of free sex. Can't imagine that Rush gets much any that he doesn't pay for.

  3. Barb

    You know who sang at Rush Limbaugh's wedding? Elton John! According to Rush, gay people can sing at weddings. Just not their own.

    1. flamingpdog

      We need to start in petition in every state that has ballot measures to pass a law making Rush marriages illegal.

    2. Loaded_Pants

      Wig? I thought those were hair plugs.

      Seriously though, I was perplexed as to why Elton would perform at Rush's last (hehe) wedding at the time (2010). Turned out that Elton's wealth decreased considerably in 2009 (I recall a bloomberg story from around that time but I'm too lazy/drunk right now to post a link to it). I thought Elton had a insane art collection worth a shitload of money not to mention all those Disney/Broadway royalties.

    3. Jukesgrrl

      Elton John routinely performs at weddings (for a million dollars or more) with the payment going to his Elton John AIDS Foundation. The Foundation (which often partners on projects with amfAR) funds "programmes for HIV/AIDS prevention, for the elimination of prejudice and discrimination against HIV/AIDS-affected individuals, and for providing services to people living with or at risk of contracting HIV/AIDS." EJ founded the charity after his friend Freddy Mercury died of AIDS.

      To my knowledge EJ has not spoken of appearing at the Limbaugh wedding but his husband David Furnish told People magazine that John justified his appearance by telling him, "Life is about building bridges, not walls." Furnish added that he saw the performance as a chance to open minds among the right-wingers present at the ceremony, according to the Daily Mail. Furnish and John acknowledge that they are aware of Limbaugh's vehement attacks on AIDS victims and AIDS research.

      Feel free to continue thinking of John as an old asshole in a wig, but if you're interested you can see where the money went here:

      1. Chet Kincaid

        Taking Limbaugh's money for the express purpose of keeping people with AIDS alive makes him a douchebag? I see. Which AIDS patients would you propose should return the services they've received?

        1. ShaveTheWhales

          You know, these late-hours comments have done quite a lot to restore my opinion of old Reg.

          (+) A million bucks for AIDS victims / research.
          (-) < > Who in the present day actually cares what Elton John does?

          This is not building bridges, this is resource extraction, and I like it.

          Key to this would be the idea that EJ doesn't take himself too seriously; and when would anyone have ever got the idea that he did?

          1. finallyhappy

            Did you see his soda commercial(I can't remember-pepsi or coke)? He does not take himself seriously at all. And if he got a milllion bucks from Rush- money made from dumb redneck bigots for Aids research/services- good for him.

          2. tessiee

            "And if he got a milllion bucks from Rush- money made from dumb redneck bigots for Aids research/services- good for him."

            I think it has a nice, symmetrical karmic quality to it.

  4. LettucePrey

    Which is more hilarious?
    (1) A prescription drug addict whining about what insurance pays for.
    (2) Still using the word "Feminazis" in the year 2012, like it's clever;
    (3) the notion that having insurance coverage for birth control requires a woman to launch an involuntary porn career;
    (4) The fact that people listen to these douchnozzles as anything other than intentionally offensive performance art.

    All of them, Katie. If there were a pill that men could take daily that would make them shoot exclusively blanks, we "feminazis" would want insurance to cover that as well. As, no doubt, would Rush and Issa. They are spectacular at missing the point.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Apparently there is a researcher who thinks he may have come up with that. And yeah, I'm guessing that will be required to be supplied to every male 13-89 on demand at all social events where there is the slightest possibility of sex.

      1. Loaded_Pants

        By "social events" do you mean CPAC? 'Cuz it seems like there's a lot of hot sexing going on there, much to the consternation of certain attendees who go there to get laid but don't.

        1. C_R_Eature

          Yeah, but according to what was posted here from Craigslist, most or all of the hot sex is by definition not, shall we say, Procreative.

          1. Loaded_Pants

            So only the closet gheys (meaning, since GOProud got booted out, all of them) get laid at CPAC? I'd sign right up but I don't think I'd like sex with a closet case. I prefer my partners to just fall asleep right after instead of them locking themselves in the bathroom for the rest of the night to cry over their offenses to God. I need my beauty sleep.

          2. C_R_Eature

            I've seen that crowd on those CPAC weekend videos and all of them give me the willies. Stay far, far away from those: you'll either end up with some pallid jumpy closet-mollusk or a nightmare psycho right outta "Looking for Mr. Goodbar".

    2. OzoneTom

      'If there were a pill that men could take daily that would make them shoot exclusively blanks, we "feminazis" would want insurance to cover that as well.'

      C'mon, we could just claim that we were on that pill and be gone before the slut found out about her Gift from God™ a couple of weeks later.

    3. PuckStopsHere

      Well done, Lettuce. More comprehensive than the health care coverage itself will turn out to be, I suspect!

    4. Isyaignert

      As it is today, men are irrelevant. Women don't fukkin' need them. We love 'em and want 'em, but we don't need 'em.

  5. flamingpdog

    "for her testify about contraception coverage"

    Is Sarah Palin writing for TPM now?

    1. Negropolis

      That's right, Derrick! The only thing they should be paying me for is my boner pils!!!1!

    1. Callyson

      We'll really be cool if/when we can figure out how to get Darrell Issa out of this state…

          1. Fukui-sanYesOta

            What the fuck is it with the Birchers here? There was a Bircher stand (complete with Obama w/hitler tasche poster) in my sort-of-Tony east bay town the other day … with a young black dude staffing it.

          2. Nothingisamiss

            Listen Fuki-sanYesOta, when I fly out of this hellhole and visit friends in the east bay, I don't want to see some fucking birchers. If y'all weren't so, you know, peaceful and all, those fuckers would go back to Sacremento where they'd be welcome.

          3. DemmeFatale

            They are regularly assaulting eyeballs in my college town here in the bay area, and I saw them with a stand in Union Square in San Francisco(!).
            I'll bet some "locals" took care of them and their Hitler posters, and left something for the meth-heads and drug addicts, too.

          4. UW8316154

            Not really California at all, more like the southern edge of Cascadia. Regional capital is Eugene.

          5. imissopus

            Richard Fucking Nixon – dead
            Ronald Fucking Reagan – dead
            Orange Fucking County – um, slightly less conservative than it used to be, maybe?

            Well, two out of three.

        1. OneDollarJuana

          As I recall, (and I was a Californian at the time), California got rid of Raygun by making him President. Kind of a bad move in retrospect, no? Better to keep Issa in a California jail for car theft, I think.

      1. DemmeFatale

        In the "Inland Empire," sure. But not on the coast.
        You really know how to hurt a girl.
        Texas? Really?

        Can't wait to watch my Yankees play their first Spring Training game today!!! Finally!

        1. Negropolis

          You know I'm jus' teasin'. I respect a state that can keep this current iteration of the Republican Party out of high office, well, Arnie was a mistake, but it could have been worse. That said, you guys have a fucked up political system for a few decades, especially for ballot intiatives, which has produced some of the most progressive but some of the most regressive constitutional amendments. Even when Dems control stuff, the system still gives too much power to the minority.

          But, yeah, calling you guys Texas is fightin' words. lol

      2. OneDollarJuana

        Having grown up in the Pit (San Jose) in the 50's, 60's, 70's I can attest that it's more Oklahoma than Texas.

    2. gurukalehuru

      eh. I am 57 and a poor so I don't even make it to the semi-finals of the cool competition, but I live in Prague, coolest city on the planet, so top that, HAH!

      1. Gunner Asch

        Yeah, well I live in the middle of nowhere and when my wife plugged in our location on a website that shows the blast areas in a nuclear war we found that we miss the holocaust entirely and don't die until the radiation and nuclear winter evenly blankets the whole country. So who's cool now? Hell's Canyon FTW!

    1. Veritas78

      He's heard enough sirens in his life. Usually in response to his stealing something, or burning it down.

    2. MaxUdargo

      These Republicans and their manly tears – Issa, Boehner – they're just so deeply moved by how beautiful they are, inside. They're just so good. Too good.

      I'm not stalking you, Manchu. I'm just replying to every post you make.

  6. nounverb911

    Rush's been married four times and no kids.
    1. Rush's a virgin.
    2. Rush's shooting blanks.
    3. Rush has an abortionist on staff.

    1. LagunaB

      Rush is passed out by 8pm and they tell him how great he was in the morning and then go shopping.

    2. Dudleydidwrong

      Thank Jeebus and Murphy that Limpballs has never reproduced. The world can only stand so much.

    3. tessiee

      4. Rush is so used to his underage rentboys that he doesn't know there's another place to put it besides the butthole.

    4. CivicHoliday

      or the more obvious answer, all of his slutty gold-digger wives are all *gasp* on the PILL, provided to them by BIG GOVERNMENT. War is peace!

          1. poncho_pilot

            i'd ask how he'd get his greedy little wee wee and ample cleavage to perform that docking procedure but i forgot that due to his reality distortion field and mass he can bend time and space.

  7. SorosBot

    Yes, Republicans, please keep calling the 99% of women who have used birth control sluts; that will work real well in November.

      1. Loaded_Pants

        It's almost like they are actually determined to lose. It is deliberate? Are they really plants? The liberal conspiracy is bigger than anyone imagined!

        1. Biel_ze_Bubba

          "Are they really plants?"

          Plant libel! My petunias have a higher IQ, on average, than these cretins.

          1. redarmyzombie

            Protist libel!
            Slime Molds react to external stimuli and are capable of retaining simple memory, so they already have a leg up on these goons…

      1. not that Dewey

        They'll use up all their crazy around the same time as the sun uses up all its hydrogen.

    1. starfanglednut

      I've considered writing a book called something like "I'll give you something to cry about: a handbook for Abusive Parents". I think it would sell very well and make me rich,.

      1. Chichikovovich

        Put a discreet cross and some bible passage about the importance of stern physical correction of children somewhere on the cover, and you'll be a very wealthy man.

      1. Fukui-sanYesOta

        The threat of choice for east end london young toughs:
        Want to wake up with a crowd around you?

        naturally rendered as

        Wanna wake up wiv a craaahd rahnd ya?

        1. C_R_Eature

          Nice. Mine was "I'll knock you into the middle of Next Week!"

          pronounced as

          "Aaahhl Knaack you inta the middlea Next Week! (as in "Bang! Zoom! To da Moon, Alice!")

          Dad was a paratrooper. He really could do it.

        2. Chet Kincaid

          I've been watching crime shows on BBC America lately; that swapping "th" with "v" sounds weird at first, but once your ear adjusts to it, it makes the speaker sound really stupid.

          1. Fukui-sanYesOta

            It's my home accent – estuary English. I th-front when I'm drunk or being lazy, and it does sound like one is stupid.


            it's maah 'ome aksent – eshtry english. I T-H-front when Aah'm drunk or bein' lazy and it duz saahnd lahk whun is schtupid.

  8. Hera Sent Me

    These guys mix rank hypocrisy with the emotional fortitude of first graders.

    "Mommy! That kid I hit just hit me back! Boo hoo hoo!"

  9. ChernobylSoup

    We tried to be as reprehensible as the repubs but calling the pope a slut just doesn't have the same zing.

    1. Negropolis

      But, honestly, did you see how he was dressed!? I mean, that gown and those shoes? He was just asking for it.

  10. Guppy

    According to my watch, it's about time for "Who's the real leader of the GOP?" to make the rounds on cable news again.

  11. edgydrifter

    The Nazi-Slut Agenda to destroy American morality is like a giant doomsday asteroid + ebola + all the oil wells on earth simultaneously running dry. Darrell Issa cries for us, people, for us.

  12. Callyson

    Issa criticized Democrats for using the situation to "politicize the situation and use it to raise campaign cash."
    Yeah, because the Reeps weren't trying to rally the flagging enthusiasm of their base and/or raise funds from their rich backward supporters by bringing this issue up in the first place.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Meanwhile, The Situation cynically plugs Valtrex across multiple MTV platforms.

  13. Beowoof

    I would love a tell all book on Rush's 4 marriage failures. (I know only three have failed as of today, but old soft pork, still has ample opportunity to screw this one up, and be forced back to the Dominican Republic for 10 year old boy sex). I am sure those women have stories to tell that would regale a lefty like me for days and days on end. And can you imagine a movie. Too bad Chris Farley died he would be awesome as Rushbo.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Bill Hicks had a theory about this topic.

      WARNING: Not to be played during dinner.

      ALSO! Link is an audio clip with a non-moving picture. Somebody complained about this once, so I thought I'd warn you.

      1. Beowoof

        Huge Bill Hicks fan and I have seen this and you are right not during dinner, or snacks or if your stomach is queasy today.

    2. Negropolis

      Honestly, I wonder about his current wife. Maybe it's a bad thing, but one of my first thoughts after he doubled down on this was that his wife should totally be withholding any kind of intimacy with him and talking some sense into him.

  14. flamingpdog

    DId anybody notice that President Obama called up Ms. Fluke on the phone today and commiserated with her? Multiple upfists for Prezdint Hopey!

    1. imissopus

      Yeah, and then she had to go out and endure a horrible, condescending interview from Andrea Mitchell, who just kept asking her variations of "How do you feel about what the bad man said about you?" and "Isn't it awesome the president called?" I'd link to the video but I have standards.

    2. Doktor Zoom

      Hey, he's exploiting a defenseless white girl for political advantage! What a hypocrite!!!!! I for one am so sad for how our once great nation has fallen.

    1. PuckStopsHere

      If true, what would that make Rush's ladies? What is it they call women who take money for sex? There's a word for that but I can't think of it…

    1. anniegetyerfun

      No! Don't say that! That's what Breitbart said about liburty and look what Obama did to him!

      1. Loaded_Pants

        Charlton Heston said the same thing about his gun &, look at him! He's still dead!
        (I've always wondered if fake Moses was buried with a gun in his cold dead hands but it seems he was cremated, so probably not.)

    2. flamingpdog

      I would have thought it would be from your cold dead kneecaps, but I guess I've been listening to the lamestream media too much lately.

  15. fartknocker

    So it's OK for a bloviating talk show asshole to call a person a slut over birth control issues when she's testifying at a Senate hearing but when a Federal judge in Montana sends an e-mail that is racist and directed towards the President and his mother, these same representatives of the people have absolutely no issue. If it was a Federal judge who was a Democrat that sent a similar e-mail, these same shitstains would be calling for removal hearings.

    These little events are just more ammunition to be used in November to demonstrate to voters that these goatfucks couldn't give a rat's ass about their constituents. Hopefully the Democrats can convey this message: unfortunately for some of these voters, you can't cure or fix stupid.

    1. Loaded_Pants

      It's actually logical that GOPers would attack women who want to use birth control since the only females they don't hate are post-menopausal white women who are askeared of the black President & prepubescent girls.

    2. fuflans

      i think the word 'shitstain' is so very appropriate in this context and i applaude your use of it.

  16. anniegetyerfun

    Doubtlessly, Issa has many examples that he can point to, I mean, specific examples, in which Elijah Cummings has said horrible things about religious people. No doubt. None at all. Nope.

  17. Chichikovovich

    Obscured in all of the fog concerning that fat douchebag calling a woman a slut is the basic reality – independence of the claim "I don't want to pay for your birth control!!!!". Get a clue: you're not paying anything. Birth control is revenue neutral, and may even be revenue saving. The insurance company pays a tiny sum for birth control pills, and save a huge amount on the enormous hospital costs of an unintended pregnancy. (The cost of the hospital care for a single hi-risk premature infant could buy birth control for all the childbearing age women of a large town.) (Not even counting the costs to the company of maternity leave, etc.)

    There is a lot of data on these things. And when they come from things like insurance company actuarial tables, with which the make or lose their money, ideology tends to drift away. a) birth control without copay by itself costs the insurance company a miniscule amount. b) when you consider savings elsewhere it is cost-neutral or even cost saving, depending on the circumstances.

    I've no doubt that Limbaugh's stunt was calculated to distract attention from things like this. So long as the conversation is about him and his asshole behavior, it also turns the conversation to this bizarre "why should I pay for you to have sex?" line of attack. Don't get me wrong – there are dozens of confusions, and morally despicable presuppositions, wrapped up in that question. I just want to mention one response that should be immediate without meaning to suggest that there aren't a dozen others too:
    Nobody is paying extra on their insurance because of birth control coverage.

    This insidious lie must be challenged every time it arises.

    1. 40 or 50 % McShineys

      And you have just illustrated the biggest problem with counteracting the incessant lies of these dickholes: It takes more than a moment to explain, and by then, Average American Joe Derp has already wandered off to eat something fried and/or masturbate.

    2. Blueb4sunrise

      I thin that the true nuts don't want any part of the insurance $$ pool going towards it. Whether their rates go up or not.

      1. Chichikovovich

        True, but if we can get them to concede that evidently true point, then we can say “hey, practice your religion as you wish. Just don't ask me to pay for it.”—

    3. BigRadio

      Worse yet Chich, I'm pretty sure that Russ Limbloat doesn't even have health insurance.
      I'll bet my left nut he's a cheap tipper too.

      1. mormos

        credit where credit is due, and this is the only time i will ever compliment rush limpdick. He actually tips absurdly well. Like $1000 a dinner well. Or so says the times

        1. Chichikovovich

          Rush realizes that the waitstaff need a compelling reason not to spit on his food.

    4. BlueStateLibel

      Outstanding as usual; also, do you think our beloved pharma is liking our friendly Repugnants beating up on their drugs?

    5. Gainsbourg69

      These yahoos know that contraceptives are not going to be subsidized by the government. They are only complaining because they don't want the job creators paying for a slut's dirty sex habit.

      1. Chichikovovich

        That's the point – the job creators aren't paying for it either! The insurance company is all about managing risk. Practicing birth control (really cheap) significantly reduces the risk of a maternity stay in the hospital – very expensive, especially if complications or premature birth are involved in which case it becomes insanely expensive. In the occasions when birth control coverage has been introduced into insurance pools, it has been found to be cost neutral.Why were insurance companies so happy to just offer birth control coverage at no extra charge in Obama's compromise? Because it's smart business.—

    6. tessiee

      "why should I pay for you to have sex?"

      I'm pretty sure he has to pay *everyone* to have sex… Oh, you mean with someone *other* than him!

    7. tessiee

      "Birth control is revenue neutral, and may even be revenue saving. The insurance company pays a tiny sum for birth control pills, and save a huge amount on the enormous hospital costs of an unintended pregnancy."

      I agree as far as that goes, but I'm pretty sure they don't want to pay for pregnancies/prenatal care/deliveries, etc., just like they don't want to pay for anything that helps the already born babbies.

    8. Chet Kincaid

      Really, I think the evangelicals have gotten themselves into a lather about birth control pills and condoms only because of their newfound mutual defense agreement with the Catholics. They have gotten over their historic hatred and mistrust of Papists, and now they have to back them up on this ridiculous birth control business because the enemy of their enemy is secular Satanist Nobama. Protestant fundie evangelicals care about abortion, but I grew up among them, and you cannot convince me that they really believe condom use is a sin. Apparently, they will throw condoms and birth control pills under the bus for the "greater good" of Catholic help outlawing abortion again.

  18. glamourdammerung

    Seriously, maybe it is my age or upbringing, but watching grown men cry in public is a bit strange to begin with. When it is for no reason beyond hurt widdle feelings because someone fought back, it just borders on creepy.

    1. LetUsBray

      Further IOKIYARage: Ed Muskie cries in public once, and he's finished. These freaks are blubbering away constantly, and it's totally cool.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        And I distinctly remember (even though I was a babe in swaddling clothes, it goes without saying), that he cried over a personal attack on his wife, to whom he had been married nearly 30 years at that point, by the ultraconservative Union-Leader publisher. Can you imagine if a newspaper editor accused Mrs. Boehner of being a drunken party girl?

  19. SmutBoffin

    "…continuing on at length about…'disgusting' 'personal attacks' of the anatomical variety on the women on his staff."

    Uh-huh. Was the source of these attacks Issa himself?

  20. Blueb4sunrise

    mandates on individual freedom
    mandates on individual freedom
    mandates on individual freedom
    mandates on individual freedom

    1. James Michael Curley

      Mandate was once the name of a combined tummy reducer, butt supporter, ball bra designed to give that "lean young look" and was advertised on the back of American Legion Magazine back in the '60's.

  21. weej_bain

    So Issa has a sad that Limpblow limited his diatribe to Sandra Fluke. Rushie shoulda said that "all sexually active college coeds using birth control are slutty prostitutes." This must be made a plank to walk in the Repuglycuntz platform.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Certainly sounded to me as if Rush included all wimmins when he said that the government paying for birth control (when does that happen other than maybe Medicaid?) makes him think, "What if someone came to your door and said, "I'm having sex with three guys tonight and can you pay for my birth control?" He didn't say Ms. Flukes name, so I'll just assume I might be the slut at his door since I would be thrilled to make Rush personally pay for my birth control … AND provide me with three lovers.

          1. flamingpdog

            Uh, I was thinking a nun who fell asleep on a nude beach, but, thank you, yours is even sicker.

    1. GeorgiaBurning

      Take a look at his picture sometime. The resemblance is scary. But Jar-Jar had conviction. Darrel just has plea bargains and charges dropped.

      1. Doktor Zoom

        While Rushbo would never actually advocate cownegrodogicide, he would definitely blame the negro, not the train.

      2. tessiee

        I don't know; it seems like sloppy planning to me. I mean, what are the odds that the cow and dog are going to be properly lined up with the negro at the exact moment the train passes?

        1. user-of-owls

          Well that does it. We're definitely not inviting you>/i> into the Who Killed Breitbart to Prevent the Truth from Being Told Clubhouse.

          "Sloppy planning." Sheesh.

          1. tessiee

            Sorry, O feathery one, but "sloppy planning" is what I said, and "sloppy planning" is what I meant.

            Two variables is at least one variable too many. Nobody wants to go to the effort of coordinating cow, dog, and train; then luring the negro to a precise location by the railroad tracks, at a precise moment, with promises of a grape soda (or whatever it is that Those People like); only to find out that the dog is off chasing a neighborhood cat, or the cow has wandered away in search of a tasty patch of grass, or both. Then where would you be? In the unenviable position of having wasted most of the day, and also possibly a grape soda.

          2. user-of-owls

            Alas, O flowery one, you fail to see what is really happening here. Even a toddler could divine from the evidence that this is simply another black op staged by…well, you know. So here's the real scoop.

            The cow, obviously, was a plant put in place by the FSB, who were working with the Freemasons on the job. The objective of the mission? Assassinate the dog. Why the canine? It's plain as day: he was himself on a mission to destroy the train, which of course was no "passenger train," but instead was delivering a load of flying monkeys with suicide vests (NWO), semtex-laced Vanilla Wafers with time-delay fuses (Soros), an array of killer Black Panther penguins (PETA/Trilateral Commission) and a small army of stoats infected with the Marburg virus (Illuminati…duh).

            The dog (armed with a tiny nuclear device disguised as a tooth) had been told by his controller that the locomotive had to be destroyed…by any means necessary. His handlers told him again and again that if that train made it to its final destination (FEMA Concentration Camp #217), the world would collapse in on itself and all life would end.

            But the cow, trained practically from birth as a suicide assassin, was simply not let the lethal train be interfered with in any way whatsoever. So when she spotted the dog, and of course the negro, she knew what to do. Acting for all the world like she was mindlessly grazing, she ran precise angular calculations in her head. She knew that if she simply killed the dog (or as the article puts it, "crushed out," the FSB's fingerprints would be all over the operation. Thus the negro. And I just don't have time to even begin to tell his story. (Hint: The Plan) But the short version? You have to look at the "puddle of water," man…that's crucial! Does a grown man die from falling in a puddle? Of course not. So where does that leave us? Well what would die from such a thing? Duh, they (you know who) had salted the puddle, so when the giant slug, who'd taken the shape of a "negro," was cast into the salty water, it was all over for him.

            But the real key to the conspiracy lies in the mysterious locus of menace, the so-called town of "Kirklandclate." Follow that thread and you'll get to the heart of everything that's going on.

            Grape soda…christ, was a gullible maroon you've been.

            So the

          3. tessiee

            On the minus side, I now feel worse than I did before about my complete inability to line up a pool shot (you mean I have to actually hit the white ball, and then *it* has to hit *another* ball that has to *go* somewhere?).

            On the plus side, I read this:
            "time-delay fuses"
            As "time-delay fetuses", which would make an awesome biological weapon or band name.

            But you're right, I'm just a gullible maroon who has *no connection* with the Tree-Hugging Atheist Saucer People (if they even existed, which of course they don't), and couldn't possibly be in on the sort of complicated plotting you describe, because…
            *trails off*
            And also, this conversation never happened.
            *whistles nonchalantly*

          4. tessiee

            "But the real key to the conspiracy lies in the mysterious locus of menace, the so-called town of "Kirklandclate.""

            World Headquarters of the Costco Empire?

          5. Doktor Zoom

            See, I was just going to say the dog was collateral damage, but I find Owls' analysis far more persuasive.

          6. HistoriCat

            Do you have a newsletter I can subscribe to?

            Also, you didn't mention anything about the reverse vampires. I assume that's because you ran out of time and not because you're covering up their very existence.

      3. Chet Kincaid

        Then there's this wonderfully droll Times headline, coming in November:

        "Papist, Mormon, Adulterer, Libertarian All Toast"

        Subhead: "Papist Tumbles Mormon Into Serial Adulterer, Crushing Libertarian and Re-Electing Negro President"

    1. jesus_vs_gojira

      And what should be done about the negro problem?

      I'm not sure, but I think it involves voter suppression.

  22. rickmaci

    What is it with these GOTeaP elected guys and all the crying? There is no crying in racist, sexist, homophobic, reactionary politics !!!

    1. Biff

      Issa did it first, after spending a million bucks ridding California of Gray Davis, then realizing he wasn't going to be the nominee.

  23. JustPixelz

    Apparently O'Reilly is on-board with Limbaugh in claiming "we" — taxpayers, he said — are being forced to pay for contraception for Sandra Fluke and women like her. But isn't this about an insurance benefit, paid for by insurance premiums, which are usually privately funded?

    And, not for nothing, if you asked single men if they'd support a tax increase so all women get free contraception, it would poll at 100%.

    1. BlueStateLibel

      It's an insurance benefit. If we're going to get pissed at taxpayers paying for anything, it's paying for "scooters" and that whole well-documented scam… why should I have to pay for someone who's too lazy to walk? Granted, there are a few exceptions, and there are some people who need them, but I doubt most do.

        1. tessiee

          Lulz, I thought of Patriots, the football team, and wondered why they'd have diabeetus drugs in the medicine cabinet, taking up room that could be used for steroids.

    2. tessiee

      "But isn't this about an insurance benefit, paid for by insurance premiums, which are usually privately funded?"

      Sure, but I think that most people who have insurance have it through their jobs.
      If you view it through the lens of, "This is one more thing that we can get corporations out of paying for by shifting the burden to private citizens", it suddenly makes sense.

      1. Fukui-sanYesOta

        Thing is, we (the taxpayer) pay for employer-provided healthcare anyway. Companies get a tax exemption on their healthcare costs, which is *exactly the same* as the government paying for it. Costs about 200 billion a year.

        edit: Imma talk about this a little more.

        It's obviously part of a worker's compensation package, so it should be taxed at that point, but it's not. It's treated as a business overhead (like wages) so it's not taxed at that point and *then, above this* can be offset against the company's profits for tax purposes.

        This is government-funded healthcare by the back door – for a shittier service and far less choice, in general.

        edit 2: and then, half these fucking lying bastard healthcare companies are set up as non-profits, so it's not taxed there either.

        1. BarackMyWorld

          Is it really "exactly the same" as the government paying for it?

          Aren't insurance premiums a business expense, so businesses are just not being taxed on the income they use to pay for the expense, rather than businesses charging it to the government (which seems to be what you're saying)?

          When I get a tax exemption, it means the government deducts the expense from my total income and not from my taxes owed. I pay a little bit less taxes, but because my income goes down, not because the government is allowing me to deduct the full cost of the expense from my total taxes paid.

          1. Fukui-sanYesOta

            No, it's not exactly the same, but I didn't want to edit my original assertion, which was wrong.

            It means it's government-subsidized, which is different – the entire amount isn't paid for, but it's treated as a deduction, and therefore we pay 35% of it.

      2. BarackMyWorld

        I think in her case, she was talking about a student plan at a private Catholic college, so she'd be the one paying the premium. In which case, Limbaugh was WAY off.

    3. BarackMyWorld

      Limbaugh and this crop of Republicans leaders have never been interested in explaining something accurately if it doesn't help them. They are still insisting on calling the Affordable Care Act a "government take over" of healthcare, despite the fact that it most certainly isn't, after all.

    4. Jukesgrrl

      Please don't anybody miss O'Reilly's reason for piling on. He claimed that insisting "the govt." pay for birth control (there we go again) would be like him demanding the government pay for his protective gear when he played college football. Seriously, he compared birth control pills to the shoulder pads he wore when he played football (if he ever did) for Marist College. Bill might want to be reminded that it's unlikely HE paid for that uniform, but some Catholic college donor no doubt did. Maybe the same one who donated to Georgetown University's student health dept.

  24. Nostrildamus

    Hey guys, it's not fair to call Rush "Lardbaugh" anymore. He's really trimmed down recently, tipping the scales at a svelte 165.

    And that's only his head.

    1. BarackMyWorld

      When they kept show clips of his studio live feed on TV this week, I got excited because at first I thought it was long lost footage of Jabba the Hutt in "Return of the Jedi."

  25. Nostrildamus

    We can't intervene in Indochina. That would require sailing off the edge of the Earth.

  26. 40 or 50 % McShineys

    Darrel has a point, that it IS a very narrow focus, to merely look at Limbaugh's "slut" comment.

    Not as fucking narrow as only having only a bunch of men testify about women's birth control issues, that shit wins the Narrownapolis 500. But still.

    1. LetUsBray

      Hasn't it been three fucking days of slut comments so far? I'd love to see Ms. Fluke pursue legal action.

  27. horsedreamer_1

    Go back to the Royals, you turd. Maybe your shared Neanderthal politics could help persuade Walmart heir David Glass to spend to put a good team on the field.

  28. mookwrthwilson

    He's not just a car thief…he's also an arsonist and he committed insurance fraud too.

        1. Jukesgrrl

          Arson and insurance fraud are important Family Values. They could help your family rake in more moniez. And what is more patriotic than that?

    1. emmelemm

      They're all gone at this point… I guess they could shoot Caroline. Wouldn't accomplish much, though.

      1. LagunaB

        Are kidding me? They were all practicing. They were all Catholics that practice. They were all democratic men who liked women/ their wives and had sexy time. Which resulted in beaucoup de les enfants. Just because they killed my uncles does don't mean there are no more Kennedys. We live on to avenge.Sent from

  29. el_donaldo

    Earlier today I thought it was Tagg Romney that needed the lesson in the thing that's so totally obvious it's completely clear to everyone else. Well, he still does. But he's second in line right now.

  30. Joshua Norton

    Sir, did the talk about sex get to you? Sir, why is your face all red? Sir, I’m only going to ask this once, but…where is your other hand?

  31. IceCreamEmpress

    Darrell Issa can be as Christian Taliban as he likes, but people in the rest of the country are still going to think he's real Taliban because he's Arab. (Or "an Ay-rab" as they might say.)

    Remember he was one of the targets of that "blow up mosques" thing a while back…

  32. Steverino247

    The reason Issa is crying in that photo is because Issa personally funded the recall election of Governor Davis, expecting to be able to be the man to replace him. However, the Republican Party had other plans, which consisted of sitting him down, saying thanks for the recall election, but "it's not your time." So, he leaves this meeting and goes out to tell the press that he's not running for Governor, but not the reason why. Although that had to have been pretty humiliating, it's nearly as humiliating an experience as I'd like him to have every fucking day for the rest of his life. Believe me, I can think of something new every day, too.

    1. ShaveTheWhales

      Thanks for reminding me of one of the few reasons to have small positive thoughts about Governor Gropenator.

    2. tessiee

      "Issa personally funded the recall election of Governor Davis, expecting to be able to be the man to replace him. However, the Republican Party had other plans, which consisted of sitting him down, saying thanks for the recall election, but "it's not your time." "

      *falls off chair laughing*

  33. miss_grundy

    The bigger the cigar that Mushmouth smokes, the smaller his peen gets; that is, if there is a peen within the layers of fat on his body. The only reason he has had four wives is because some women will marry anyone in order to live a comfortable life. I would rather be single than be in bad company.

    And if women can't have contraceptive drugs then men shouldn't be able to have access to erectile dysfunction drugs so they can get more lead in their pencils. I would also not allow men to be screened for prostate, penile or testicular cancers. And the first men to be hit with these types of cancers should be the loudmouths at Faux News and conservative talk radio. At least it would thin the herd.

  34. Sassomatic

    "the anatomical variety on the women on his staff" Is anatomical variety code for trannies?

  35. starfanglednut

    I love this idea that women are having "so much sex", that they can't afford contraception. Birth control pills cost the same amount no matter how much or how little sex one is having, you dumb fucks.

  36. zwoits

    Women have the right to the great american pursuit of happiness…sexual happiness. And it helps society if it is done responsibly. Win/win.

  37. user-of-owls

    What? Attacks on women? Your editrix is horrified and appalled

    There, there young lady, don't you go worrying your schöne little kopf over it. You'll get a grey hair and then you'll never land a man.

    Oh heavens, now I've gone and confused your delicate female mind, haven't I. What a cad am I.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Oh, now you've done it. She's either going to faint away with the vapours, or go into a hysterical rage, upsetting the crockery and frightening the help.

      1. C_R_Eature

        Dr Frank prescribes Hot Beef Injections. Good for what ails you.**

        **Darryl Issa's Community College party pick-up line.
        – ref. Issa, Darryl Mein Schtruggle, Regnery, '10

  38. Doktor Zoom

    Heh…so, I'm on Al Franken's email list, and he's got an online petition with this simple message:


    My boss is not my doctor. My health care choices are none of my boss's business — and none of yours, either.

    Seriously — what's wrong with you guys?

    Glad to see he's feeling secure enough in the job to be so openly snarky.

      1. flamingpdog

        I just signed it and I got a thanky note immediately afterwards, so I guess you don't have to be Minnysootan to sign. I don't have a linky to pass along, but I suspect if you go to they'll have a place for you to sign.

        I don't normally sign petitions to Republiklans because, like they'll pay attention?, but if I were gay, I would be so madly in gay love with Al that I can't resist his invites. WARNING: He will ask for a contribution – he's still a politician, after all.

        1. emmelemm

          I haven't seen a single petition that doesn't then ask for a contribution. (Doesn't mean I don't sign them.)

  39. Veritas78

    OT, but did anyone notice how fresh the world looked today? That all creatures that walk, swim, burrow, or creepeth did so with a spring in their step or whatever they hath do?

    Yes, it was because we are minus one fat cokehead pedophile, who was finally consumed by hatred yesterday.

    Right now, his soft tissue membranes have dissolved and the liquids are draining from his corpse (perhaps along with his hate). His eyeballs have collapsed. If he hasn't been cremated yet or filled with formaldehyde, maggot embryos are already hatching. (How do they get there? The maggots go in, the maggots go out, nobody knows.)

    Most importantly, the world quickly begins to cleanse itself. He's still dead, and we're not.

    It's a great day to be alive!

  40. tessiee

    "Wrote Issa to Elijah Cummings, the ranking minority member of said committee, “I am struck by your clear failure to recognize your own contributions to the denigrations of this discussion and attacks on people of religious faith,”
    OK, I don't know what Elijah Cummings looks like, but I'm picturing a middle-aged blah guy typing on a computer in his office.
    Darrell Issa barges into the office, highly indignant.
    to be continued…

  41. tessiee

    continued from previous post…
    Darrell [pointing melodramatically]: YOU!!
    Elijah: Say what now?
    Darrell [pressing back of hand to forehead]: They're denigrating this discussion and attacking me because of my religious faith!
    Elijah: Um… hmm. That's a real shame, Darrell. Now, if you'll excuse me, I really need to get this powerpoint presentation ready for tomorrow's meeting.
    Darrell: And YOU, Elijah, YOU are contributing to the whole thing!
    Elijah: I'm not contributing to anything, Darrell. I'm sitting here at my desk doing my work.
    Darrell: You see? You SEE? You're REFUSING to acknowledge that you're in on it, too!!
    [runs down the hallway sobbing]
    Elijah: Um… OK, then. [to self] Jeez, what a nutcake. [returns to typing on keyboard] Four… and carry the one…

  42. mlytnz

    let's put a law on the table mandating that all men must show a marriage certificate before purchasing viagra!

    1. C_R_Eature

      Boehner drank it all. Again.

      "Dammit, you Promised to save me a shot this time!" *SLAP!*

      "Filthy Slut." "Boo hoohoohoo! Boohoohoohoohoohoo!"

  43. UnholyMoses

    True story: My seven year old son hit some kid* today at school.

    It was because that kid was picking on a girl.

    Thus, my first grader knows how to treat females better than Limbaugh, Issa, et al.

    (* Who was in middle school, thus 4-6 years older … though The Mrs and I kinda made a giant, so take that into account.)

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Wow, your fine fellow stood up to a bully. Too bad there are not more like him. Huzzah!

      PS: Let us know the day he is old enough to run for Congress.

      1. flamingpdog

        Maybe UM can run for Congress himself, with UM Jr. as his enforcer. Sounds like his kid is lot tougher than the Hinckley kid on the other thread there.

        1. UnholyMoses

          Oh no … my history would NOT hold up to scrutiny.

          Well, unless folks are okay with a guy who followed the Dead, has made Cheech and Chong look like amateurs, dumped folks outta my life when the supported Palin, and have a tendency to speak my mind when it'd be best if I just STFU.

          Ummmmmmm … wait a second.

          Anyone know how long it takes to set up a PAC?

    2. UnholyMoses

      Awww … shucks.


      Trust me — I'm quite proud of the little dude. I also give all the credit to Mrs Moses — she's quite the amazing mom who has instilled a great respect for women (and the environment, etc.) in our kid. Thumbs up to her.

      The best part, though?

      He has actual, clinically-diagnosed-and-not-just-a-spoiled-brat-in-need-of-more-and-better-discipline Asperger's. And Tourette's (tics and clicks kind, not the shouty kind).

      So … um, yeah. We thought we'd be stuck with a Republican, but he's turning out quite well. So far.

      **knocks on wood**

  44. Loaded_Pants

    What about the trash being published today like that "Catcher in the Rye" filth! We need to think of the children!

  45. DustBowlBlues

    Being a big, fat liberal in Okrahome, I'm watching Bill Maher.r course. He and Russ Feingold said two things no one but the wonkeratti ever says. (Not buttseks and trucknutz.)

    That the recently beatified Olympia Snowe insisted they rewrite the health care bill to suit her, then voted against it. And that all this ugly shit in our politics began with the contract with america, though when I talk about it I call 1992 the year Newt's Xians destroyed the system.

    1. Negropolis

      The fawning over Snowe is disgusting. IT's what the Village does with "moderates." She is no different than Evan Bayh. Mark my words, she's leaving to grift up something fierce. In many ways, I dislike her more than I do the crazies, because she's not honest about her intentions and never has been. It's this kind of phoniness that has made it easier to transfer wealth up the ladder. These so-called Republican 'moderates' are the tip of the spear.

    2. not that Dewey

      Olympia Snowe is implicated in a potential for-profit college scam. There's a lawsuit involving the company in which she and her husband invest, that has been scamming federal education $$ to line their own pockets. C&L postulates that the timing of her retirement is related to this.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Well, duh. That's because, as theological expert Pam Geller always says, it's not an actual religion. Because it's really a political ideology. And lord knows the definitional lines between those two things are clear and bright.

  46. Jukesgrrl

    OT: The first Ron Paul for President sign went up on my street in Tucson today. Three days AFTER the Arizona primary. Those Paultards really ARE baked.

    Or is it some kind of "Remember the Alamo"? Or both.

    1. Blueb4sunrise

      Paultard hipster irony?

      Or someone removing signs from his neighborhood and putting them in others so that his neighborhood doesn't appear to be so loony?

  47. C_R_Eature

    Has anyone checked up on Breitbart in this thread? I've been operating under the assumption that he is Still Dead.

  48. BarackMyWorld

    Someone explain to Rep. Issa that Rush Limbaugh's position on this issue has nothing to do with the "religious freedom" argument Issa's been making for the last few weeks, and he probably shouldn't be trying to ally himself with someone who is saying this is about sex (the exact argument Issa has been denying is his rationale, remember?).


  49. Pres.Beeblebrox

    Ooh, the "Schoenkopf Years" here at teh Wonket are going to be a blast, I think.

    The only thing the lede of this article is missing is an appropriately horrifying patented Wonkette descriptive phrase, thus:

    {adjective}{noun} Rush Limbaugh

    like, "jellied Viagra-fancier Rush Limbaugh", or my favorite, "bloated jewelry piglet Newt Gingrich"

    1. tessiee

      I can't decide between:

      Cigar-fellating lardass Rush LImbaugh
      Drug-gobbling pedophile Rush LImbaugh.


    The Chairman of the House Oversight Committee is a car robber?!!? Of which country, Unitedstan?

  51. Nostrildamus

    Hilarious description of Romney rally today in "Seattle". Especially nice is the description of what makes a Romney crowd more unpleasant than a Santorum, Paul or Gingrich crowd. (It's that extra little bit of entitlement.)

  52. banana_bread

    I cannot even articulate how much it pisses me off that someone can get away with calling BC users sluts.

    Besides the obvious concern trolling it brings along, there are SO many reasons to be on the pill besides contraception! I was on it once, before I was sexually active, to control my extremely bad periods. I went on it again to control ovarian cysts. The real kick in the crotch is that the second time I went on BC, I was on another drug that nullified the contraceptive effects. I literally could not use it for actual birth controlling.

    So yeah, obviously my out-of-whack hormones and crazy precancerous tumors make me a SLUT. Fuck you, Issa and Limbaugh. Fuck you in the ass with a trans-vaginal probe.

    1. banana_bread

      Also, I posted a similar screed to my Faceybook and I got three replies within five minutes, all from lady friends who also use the pill for non-contraceptive issues.

  53. BarackMyWorld

    As Gordo Lardbucket has pointed out, the sluttier you are, the more Pills you must take, because Science.

    Yes, he seems to be under the impression women only take birth control on the occasions they are planning to be sexually active, instead of taking the pill every day regardless.

    He really has no idea that if she has sex one time or 100 times, she is going to use the same number of pills in a month. He literally doesn't realize women don't have an on/off switch to their ovaries that can be controlled by swallowing a birth control pill!

    And since AM radio's preeminent bag of farts in bloated human form doesn't seem to understand how the female reproductive system works, add biology to the enormous list of subjects Rush feels confident to run his mouth about despite his total misunderstanding.

    What a fucking asshole. I honestly can't understand how wife number four can put up with this guy.

    1. BarackMyWorld

      I didn't see Rachel Maddow last night, but apparently she also talked about this exact thing.

  54. Negropolis

    Meh. Another self-hating minority that thinks he's a WASP. How a criminal like Issa gets to climb so high in his party, and why he's rewarded for continuing to be a dick, just shows you what it's about.

  55. Negropolis

    My favorite part in this whole scandal is how the media is nearly completely ignoring what he said after he slurred the poor woman with the word "slut" and then went on to call her prostitute. Right after that, he makes it even worse by saying that since we're paying for the birth control (a total lie, BTW), we should at least get to see all of the sex shes having via sex tapes.

  56. BarackMyWorld


    (As in update the editors' names and the list of…ahem…"regular features"? I'd do it but I'm too lazy afraid of fucking it up somehow. I mean…Jesus, do you KNOW how many times I edit my own posts HERE? I've already edited this very post 4 times.)

  57. shebeers

    I say we take one of Virginia's vaginal ultrasound probes they ordered (and don't need for now) and put it up his rectum to find his "religion." The radiology technician will clearly see no sign of God but will find his brain.

  58. paris biltong

    Gee, I go away for a couple of days (down with the flu, actually, not down under like Frothy) and come back to find that the women have taken over Wonkette and are attacking poor, fat, stupid Rush Limbaugh. BTW, what if Ms Fluke had been a regularly married person, would he still think she was having too much sex? It says a lot about the man that he thinks only the promiscuous do it more than once in a blue moon. Like someone said about Wilt Chamberlain's scores (20,000 women, not 100 points), the real challenge is to satisfy one woman 2000 times (let alone 20,000).

  59. ttommyunger

    I have a question for Issa and Limpbow: how do you manage to trip over a two-inch dick?

    1. flamingpdog

      Damn, I first read that as the Sybian people. More Wonkette, less lesbionic porn from now on.

  60. Chichikovovich

    OT, but it's the last post from Friday night, so essentially an open thread for the weekend. (via Talking points memo) The Mittster and his people apparently neglected to tell everybody about his 2009 op ed in USA today – an open letter to Obama about how he absolutely should totally adopt the Massachusetts plan because it has been such a great success, and he should view the Republicans as his allies in this connection:

    You know, I'm starting to think that Mitt is kind of dishonest and will cynically say anything he thinks will get him elected. Perhaps I've just become uncharitable as the years have gone by.

    1. BarackMyWorld


      This is pretty mind-blowing to me. It isn't just "flip-flopping," this is Romney actively asking Obama to do exactly what Obama ended up doing, a year before attacking him for it.

      It'd be like if in 1777, Thomas Jefferson was criticizing people for signing the Declaration of Independence and denying it was the document he wrote, or Abraham Lincoln coming out in favor of slavery after the Civil War and claiming the Emancipation Proclamation wasn't his idea. It is complete, obvious dishonesty.

      Logically this letter SHOULD BE the silver bullet that kills his campaign.

      1. tessiee

        "Logically this letter SHOULD BE the silver bullet that kills his campaign."

        You'd think — but he's tall, white, and has good hair, so we're stuck with him for at least a while longer.

    2. rocktonsam

      WELL DONE! With as much as Susan Page is on the media, you'd think she would have mentioned this.

      Mittens remains more of a hypocrite than ever.

      Always a jack ass, also.

      1. Chichikovovich

        Well, I can't take credit – according to TPM it was a moderate conservative blogger who aired it. It's beyond doubt that the Obama people know about this, so if we haven't heard it's because they feel, not unreasonably, that it isn't the right time. Wait until Mitt actually has the nomination, especially after the convention if possible, when hammering Romneycare Obamacare takes up 90% of the airtime. (If the economy continues to improve, as it appears that it will, they'll want to be backing away from that pretty fast, and Romney is already backpedaling like mad from the whole contraception issue. It's a huge loser, and he and his people know it.) Then suddenly Romney would be out on a limb, with no do-over on the convention, bereft of the main theme.So who did want this to come out? It could be just an uncoordinated, independent action by the moderate conservative blogger, of course. It could be magical creatures from the centre of the earth too. But I'm thinking that this is coming out now because the organization of one of the political actors wants it to come out now.Maybe the Romney people know the Obama people will release it when it's best for them if they have the chance, so he's trying to derail that. He didn't want to release it before, because that might have genuinely imperiled the nomination, but perhaps with Michigan behind them, they figure that nothing can feasibly derail him now.Maybe Gingrich or Santorum are looking for one last Ardennes offensive lunge on Super Tuesday, and one or the other is releasing the heavy ordnance they were keeping in reserve.—

        1. BarackMyWorld

          I think its too late…this is out now…assuming the press does its job and reports on it instead of letting the campaigns do all the hard work.

          Something else, though, this really shows how amateur the other Republican campaigns are. This should have been page 1 in their opposition research, assuming they even did any.

        2. Chet Kincaid

          Would it really be so difficult for any opposition research professional to find this, sitting out on the public website of a national newspaper? It's more like negligence that somebody HASN'T put this out there already.

    3. Chichikovovich

      Or Bush Jr. denouncing using American troops for “nation-building” overseas, just a few years before the occupation of Iraq.—

      1. Blueb4sunrise

        Ah yes, thanks for the reminder. The D-Mexicanized-Z.

        If we could only figure out how to keep Californians away……….

        1. not that Dewey

          I make occasional sorties into Tucson or Tempe, to see bands that refuse to play in NM. So far, there's no prohibition against New Mexicans, only Regular Mexicans.

    1. Negropolis

      This kind of continued bullshit is exactly why Obama actually has a chance of taking AZ in November as crazy as it sounds.

  61. zappledapple

    Rebecca, TWO Beatle references in ONE post? Truly, you are the sexysarcasticsex goddess we have been waiting for. After the other ones left. And in addition to the ones we have. MMMWAHH!

  62. tessiee

    I don't think you're a crank — or no more of a crank than the rest of us, anyway — and I understand that the money that insurance companies pay out is financed by the government, i.e. us, which I actually didn't know before (and which also makes me wonder what the fuck insurance companies *do* with all they money *we* pay them, but that's another rant for another day).

    Aside from the misogyny that the wingnuts are trying to exploit/create around this issue, which is bad enough, I think there's a separate issue. I've observed on more than one occasion that some people get really pissy about insurance paying out claims in general for people they don't approve of. Get one of them going sometime about how smokers and/or fat people drive up the cost for everybody. I had one co-worker, who was a big vegan and felt sorry for all the little cows and pigs and fishies, actually say in my hearing that cancer research shouldn't be funded, "because smokers do it to themselves".

    1. Biff

      (and which also makes me wonder what the fuck insurance companies *do* with all they money *we* pay them, but that's another rant for another day)

      Why, give each other obscene bonuses, of course!

  63. poncho_pilot

    "Because it's good business for them to help women avoid the unintended pregnancies which would cost them a lot of money."

    that would be a reasonable way of looking at things. sadly, they can't whip up their base with reasonable. so to us they say, "you fucking communist cunt. get out of here."

  64. gurukalehuru

    The thing I don't understand about all this foofaraw is how do Rush Wingtard and all of his shittoheads know so precisely what Ms. Fluke was going to say, seeing as how she wasn't allowed to actually say it.

    1. imissopus

      She did get to testify, but it was an unofficial session, and I think only Democrats were there. But there is video and it was publicized.

  65. ElPinche

    Boy howdy, have I had anatomical variety of women on my staff ('specially after five or six shots of yager )

  66. comrad_darkness

    You know, democrats may have no spine, but at least they keep the waterworks in check. That's something to celebrate.

    1. C_R_Eature

      That is just all kinds of Awesome and I really really do miss George Carlin. If her were still around today he's be lighting these assholes on fire.
      But, sadly, he's gone. It's up to us now, I guess!

  67. C_R_Eature

    I just thought of this:

    “disgusting” “personal attacks” of the anatomical variety on the women on his staff.

    **RING RING**

    Female Staffer: "Hello, you have reached the Congressional offices of Representative Darryl Issa. How may I direct your call?"

    Caller: "Mulva?"

  68. CessnaDriver

    Issa spent MILLIONS on recalling Gray Davis so that Issa could be the governor.

    The Steroid Queen waltzed in and STOLE the governorship from Issa!

    One reason to hate the SQ just a little bit less.

  69. Jukesgrrl

    Oh, NOW it makes sense. Thanks for clarifying that. Seriously.

    Just think, we used to worry that Republicans didn't know how much milk cost or what bar codes were for. How far we've traveled.

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