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177 comments

          1. poncho_pilot

            "i want to spend my life with some girls like you.
            ba ba ba baaa ba ba ba ba
            you'll do everything that i tell you to.
            ba ba ba baaa ba ba ba ba
            and then when i die
            off to Kolob i'll hie
            like Super Man.
            ba ba ba baaa ba ba ba ba
            ba ba ba baaa ba ba ba ba"

  1. memzilla

    Oh, Ted Nugent? Really? Someone else who was last relevant about 30 years ago? Yeah. Too cool for school, dood.

    1. DemmeFatale

      Whenever I see "The Nuge," I think of my brothers' tinnitus caused by plastering themselves up against his amplifiers during live concerts. IN THE 70'S!!!

      (Hmmm…Maybe the Nuge-caused partial deafness propelled one of my idiot brothers to years as a singer in a Punk band.)

    1. Callyson

      Well I don't know where they come from
      but they sure do come
      I hope they're comin' for me
      And I don't know how they do it
      but they sure do it good
      I hope they're doin' it for free
      …um, yeah, I'll keep looking for that joke…

  2. Barb

    Didn't Tagg's mom do the ABC game where you change the first letter of your unborn child's name to see if you can make it rhyme with something the kids will beat him up for? I guess she didn't make it past the letter "E" huh?

      1. Biff

        So was this before, or after the terrible fictional character in the terrible movie adaptation of the even more terrible Ayn Rand book? Because that Taggart is a girl, haha!

    1. DahBoner

      Even in 77, Nugent's music was overshadowed by Elvis Costello, Huey Lewis & The News…

  3. MiniMencken

    Refresh my memory. Was Saint Tagg the one who saw up the Angel Moroni's flowy gown?

  4. Schmannnity

    Can Hank Williams Jr. be far behind? But who will get the coveted Lee Greenwood nod?

      1. Steverino247

        Well, I'd say, "All of them, Katie" but someone was begging for the banhammer to be used on anyone who used that expression after the "change in management."

        So, I'll go with HITLER! instead.

        1. FlownOver

          That was before Ted fried his frontal lobes & journeyed to the center of self-parody. If I were the Gibson folks I'd be embarrassed as hell.

        1. SenileAgitation

          No way, horse, Brother Wayne is about jailguitardoors.org, not nutball right wing jungle antics.

          1. horsedreamer_1

            Late 90s, I think after the release of Citizen Wayne, the K Man did a coheadlining tour with the Nuge.

    1. poncho_pilot

      it's a shallow pool but hey, it's still some accomplishment. and he's still some pig.

  5. orygoon

    Tagg, are you challenging your dad's "cool" supporters to a Battle of the Bands with Obama's supporters?

    Hmmm.

    1. Ducksworthy

      Bring it on! That's a contest I'd love to see. But not hear mind you. Ted Nugent? Kid Rock? Not thanks man.

    1. Dashboard Buddha

      Hey…give the Motor City Madman a break…he was recovering from a love hangover brought on by a blood lust.

  6. poncho_pilot

    but what do the surviving members of The Stooges or The MC5 think?

    yeah, keep walking Tagg.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Or go for the coveted youth vote. What do the progeny of Patti Smith and the late Fred "Sonic" Smith think of Mitt? Their son Jackson still lives in Michigan with his wife Meg White (yes, THAT Meg White). Tagg, bring me the endorsement of the White-Smiths and I will make a contribution to Mitt's campaign.

      1. poncho_pilot

        that's crazy. yeah, i didn't know anything about that.

        i know what a blacksmith does but what would a whitesmith do?

      2. horsedreamer_1

        So, Jackson wanted to marry a worse singer than is his mom?

        MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

  7. poncho_pilot

    come along if you can.
    come along if you can.
    take a trip to the land
    inside of Tagg's mind.

    1. DocChaos

      But please realize
      Youll probably be surprised
      For it's the land unknown to man
      Where fantasy is fact
      So if you can, please understand
      You might not come back

      1. Loaded_Pants

        Can't unsee! My eyes almost melted!
        WTF is up with Mormons' weird ass teeth/smiles?

      1. emmelemm

        Even if he had a good feature "down there", no one would ever get to see it because it stays locked up in the magic underwear.

  8. vodkamuppet

    Why do my comments keep disapeering? If a double post shows up in an hour, my apologies.

    1. mayor_quimby

      Wow, I did the calculations, and I should still be (marginally) alive by 2052. Can I get my seats for the inauguration/superbowl/world cup/UFC bowl now ?
      I'll obviously be high on legalized, ultra-strong cannabis, so… Let's Get It On!!

  9. Chichikovovich

    Sure, Mr. Smooth Obama has sung Al Green like the second coming of Luther Vandross and sung blues with B.B. King, Buddy Guy and that friend of Charlie Watts. But Mitt will top that: a duet with Nuge on "Wango Tango".

    We join the song about halfway through:

    Mitt:
    Well, it's a brand new dance
    Yeah been sweepin' the nation
    I said a brand new dance
    A rock 'n' roll sensation
    Yeah I like it baby, I do it every night
    I got to do it 'cos I like it so much
    Oh honey believe it baby

    Nuge:
    You see it's a crazed gyration
    of the rock generation
    It's my motivation to
    avoid the nauseation, frustration
    When I need some lubrication – Baby!
    Kinda like, goes kinda like this

    Mitt:
    You take her right ankle out
    You take her left ankle out
    You get her belly propped down
    You get her butt propped up
    Yeah lookin' good now baby

    Mitt: Tagg, Ted, are you sure this is a good idea?
    Tagg: you're sounding great Dad!. Nuge: Yeah, you're soundin' great Romsterman!

    Nuge:

    I think you're in the right position now baby
    Yeah but if you ain't quite ready I'll make sure everything is a little bit nicer 'cos
    I'm gonna get a little talcum
    I'm gonna borrow it from Malcolm
    Mitt: Who's Malcolm? Is there gay sex in this song? I'm running for President, for God's sake.
    Yeah you look so good baby
    I'm startin to drool all over myself
    I got the droolin', droolin'
    get all wet, salivate, salivate
    I got salivate late, salivate late, salivate late
    Got salivate, salivate,
    salivate, salivate, heh heh heh
    Yeah you look so good baby, I like it
    I like it, I like it

    Tagg: You're the coolest, Daddy-o.
    Mitt: Is that a video camera over there? Get that guy!

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      Oh yesss … and Zombie Cooke, Zombie Morrison and Zombie Joplin (Janis, not Scott).

  10. DocChaos

    Tagg is 42 years old. I'm sure he has his finger on the pulse of today's happening sounds, and sees that young America is ready to rock the vote with Bob Ritchie and The Nuge.

  11. Chichikovovich

    Since Mitt is thrashing around the underbrush looking for any 40-years past his prime rock dinosaur from Michigan to join his camp, why not go even farther back to Bay City's own "? and the Mysterians". I have no idea what a Mysterian is, but I'm pretty sure that whatever it is, Mitt is one. And "96 tears" would be the perfect theme song for Mitt's campaign.

    Match made in heaven, Mitt – get your people to give ? a call.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Hey! That's an ultimate garage band song. Don't fuck with it. "Too many teardrops for one heart to carry on." That's po-et-tree, child! Not to mention the falsetto is killer.

      1. Chichikovovich

        Don't get me wrong, I love the song. Just saying that if things keep going the way they've been going, Mitt's campaign may turn out to be somewhat – shall we say – lachrymose.

  12. arihaya

    draft dodger terrible singer endorsed draft dodger terrible candidate

    I said this is match made in heaven

    1. Chichikovovich

      Did Mitt also get out of the draft by showing up to the draft office without having washed, changed his clothes, combed his hair or wiped his ass for a month and toting a big fresh dump in his pants? Amazing. It's like the two of them were long lost twins.

  13. MadBrahms

    AND Kid Rock? He's almost got the white-trash cock rock vote locked down. If he gets Warrant to endorse, it's all over.

      1. Chichikovovich

        Even if she's out of the race ICP is sticking with her. Because she's totally down with the clown.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Mitt's campaign makes me think a Great White endorsement would be more fitting.

  14. littlebigdaddy

    Let's see there "Tagg," in terms of Detroit musicians (of which there are quite a few, BTW) I would say that even Bob Seeger is cooler than Ted Nugent. When your dad gets to use "Hollywood Nights" as his walk-on, come back and tell me about it.

    1. LetUsBray

      Come mid-November I can see him singing:

      I know I'm gonna miss the USA
      I know I'll miss it every single day
      But no one loves me here anyway…

  15. DerrickWildcat

    C'mon now pretty Mama
    I hit ya cause I love ya
    I didn't mean to make ya cry
    So stick your pretty face between my thighs

    YEAH, OH YEAH
    GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

  16. PuglyDoRight

    And what's cool about Kid Rock? Didn't he videotape himself getting blowjobs? And does Tagg/Mitt/any Romney know the words to "Wang, Dang, Sweet Poontang?"

    1. Jukesgrrl

      See, if we actually had a mainstream media with balls, someone would ask that very question.

      Wolf Blitzer: I understand you've received an endorsement from Kid Rock. Do you know he videotaped himself getting that thing President Clinton was impeached for?
      Rmoney: I was against it before I was for it.

  17. Beowoof

    Wang Dang Sweet Poon Tang, just one Ted's magical love ballads of the 70's:

    That Nadine, what a teenage queen
    She lookin' so clean, especi'lly down in between
    What I like
    She come to town, she be foolin' around
    A-puttin' me down as a rock-and-roll clown
    It's all right

    (Wang dang sweet poontang)
    (Wang dang sweet poontang)

    Wang dang, what a sweet poontang
    A-shakin' my thang as a rang-a-dang-dang in the bell
    Ooh, baby
    She's so sweet when she yanks on my meat
    Down on the street you know she can't be beat
    What the hell

    (Wang dang sweet poontang)
    (Wang dang sweet poontang)

    All right, baby
    You see what I got here in my hands
    I got it right in my hands
    Just for you, baby
    I think I'm gonna yank on it one time
    Look out!

    Wang dang, what a sweet poontang
    A-shakin' my thang as a rang-a-dang-dang in the bell

    She's so sweet when she yanks on my meat
    Down on the street you know she can't be beat
    What the hell

  18. LetUsBray

    Ted Pantload? Kid Suck? I guess these are the endorsements you tout when Spinal Tap has told you to fuck off.

  19. fartknocker

    Ted Nugent for all his bullshit bravado lives in Crawford, TX. I have friends in Crawford and they have concluded he is a gaping asshole. GWB2 had a ranch in Crawford. That's all I need to know about the Ted Nugent. An endorsement from Romney's son who has probably never worked a day in his life being a $20 million trust fund baby makes his endorsement irrelevant.

  20. Captain_Klutz

    Tagg (really?) & Mitt are excited by Ted & Kid!!!!!!! . . . .zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz . . . Since both are LOUD, arrogant no talent dickheads, who cares? Who will be next . . . Toby Keith?

    Tagg, why don't you get a real job–instead of pimping for your two-faced papa Mitt?

  21. DerrickWildcat

    Has Tagg listened to Nugent's classic 70s hit, "Gonna go to Utah and Rape me Some Sixteen Year Old Mormon Bitches (Theys Gonna Scratch me Where it Itches)?"

  22. Negropolis

    Ted is unapologetically unhinged. I guess if Ted "one gun short of a massacre" Nugent is cool, I don't know what cool is and don't want to know. Some of his "highlights" as of late:

    Referring to Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm (in office 2003-11), during performances he would frequently interject "Jennifer Granholm, kiss my ass" into his songs, and shoot an arrow at her likeness. In a 2007 interview, in discussing running for governor of Michigan, he stated that Granholm "is not doing an ugly job, but as the perfect woman, she is scrotumless"

    and this:

    At a concert on August 21, 2007, Nugent made controversial comments about Democratic Party presidential aspirants Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton and California's senators Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein. He complained, "Obama's a piece of shit, and I told him to suck on my machine gun."

    So, yeah, fuck Ted Nugent. Fuck 'em with his machine guns.

  23. ttommyunger

    Wow, Ted (Tiny Goober) Nugent, no less. Now if he could just get the coveted Lee Greenwood endorsement…..or Toby Keith.

      1. ttommyunger

        Still a Doofus. Democrats are only marginally less corrupt than RepubliKlans in my opinion. I carry no water for them.

  24. valthemus

    If you ever start to feel that, "Gosh, my IQ is so high… I really need to shave off a few points," go read Ted Nugent's editorials for The Washington Times. In the latest one, he demonstrates his staggering profundity by noticing that "Words mean things." If there were no byline, you'd swear they were written by someone who'd just gotten his first pair of big boy pants.

  25. LouderKlim

    KId Rock and Nugent back Mitt ? Wow – Mitt only needs Peanut Eminem to complete the holy trinity of Michigan's musical d-bagz. Best of luck to him.

  26. poorgradstudent

    Wait, Kid Rock has endorsed Mitt Romney?

    Now more than ever we need Zombie Warren Zevon to come and slowly kill Kid Rock for completely ripping off "Werewolves of London."

  27. sgtsphinter

    When informed of Ted's endorsement, Mitt exclaimed, "I'm a big fan of Tad Nugget's music, just ask Ann." Meanwhile Tagg was caught furiously humping Ted's man thigh, eyes rolled back in his head.

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