The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress.California Governor Jerry Brown dealt with some hack Washington Times reporter in the exact way all elected officials should deal with Washington Times reporters: by repeatedly correcting him on basic facts, pointing and laughing in his (presumably fat and pasty) face, and then delivering a rough-and-ready Jerry Brown-style head-butt to the dingle. After much back-and-forth in which the Hero Wingnut Reporter mangled basic historic and economic facts and then declared that California was going bankrupt, we arrive at the crux of the matter, the moment in which Brown just totally fucks the poor simpleton’s head, in front of his sniggering fellows, haha.

Reporter: So why is it then, that we’re seeing from the bankruptcy though…
Brown Spokesman Gil Duran: There is no bankruptcy. That’s a lie. You’re lying.
Brown: California has a $2-trillion economy.
Reporter: Why am I a liar?
Brown: […] Are you a Moonie by any chance?

At which point, the sad reporter mumbled “Thank you, sir,” slunk off in shame, and promptly killed himself, the End.

[Los Angeles Times]

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  • CapnFatback

    Let the West Coast bias commence!

    • bumfug

      And not a minute too soon.

    • SorosBot

      Commence? For months now there's rarely been more than one or maybe two posts up before noon in the real world; it's already here.

      • emmelemm

        "The real world"? Check yourself before you wreck yourself, right-coaster.

    • FraAnima

      Oh ma God! I am so sure!

  • chascates

    Gingrich is the only 'moonie' around these parts.

    • elviouslyqueer

      He's not a "moonie." He's a space station.

      • CapnFatback

        Betcha he's chock-full of Moon Pies, though.

    • Moonbat!

      BTW, is Brown talking about the religious Moonies? Or is there some other Moonies I'm unaware of?

      Edit: Never mind, I read the story. I get it now.

      The Washington Times was founded in 1982 by Sun Myung Moon, head of the Unification Church, whose followers were often referred to informally as Moonies.

      • GOPCrusher

        I'd forgotten about the Moonies. Are they even still around anymore?

    • Omophagist

      Mitten's is the Moonie, he's the one that believes he's going to get his own planet when he dies according to the religion conned up by a 19th century sex manic huckster that he inexplicably follows.

    • SorosBot

      Gingrich is mooning? Ew I just lost my appetite.

    • Guppy

      Not quite. While it's true Gingrich has gone through hundreds of weddings, they've not (yet) been at the same time.

    • Pat_Pending

      Only during butt-crack season.

  • veritass

    He responded, "Yes I am and so are you."

    • James Michael Curley

      That was Governor Moonbeam to you; from those of us who were in CA at the time, cursing Reagan and working for Brown.

    • That response would take balls.

  • memzilla

    It's a wonderful interview to read in full, and shows what happens when you use actual FACTS to drop-kick these wingtards right in the Luntzes.

    • sharethegrief

      Definitely worth the read. Kerry Picket must have studied journalism at Bob Jones.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Moonbeam or not, the dude gets a pass from me for banging Miss Ronstadt back in the day.

    • joobajooba

      Yeah, back in her day. She was hot!

      • rickmaci

        She wasn't the only hot babe he was involved with either. Women who were in to smart loved him.

        • Negropolis

          Is it true that the men who were in to smart loved him, too, or is that just a rumor?

  • arihaya

    shorter headline: Govnor Moonbeam Calls a Moonie to His Face

  • SorosBot

    If only other politicians had the guts to tell lying right-wing "journalists" that they're lying, this country could be in much better shape.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I don't see why they don't. The conservative pols cry like great big titty babies whenever anyone asks them about something they actually SAID, on the record, a couple of days before.

      • SorosBot

        Or questions them about the actual policies that they support. It's all whine, whine, "How dare you ask me a tough question."

  • Moonie got moonbeamed. Film at eleven

  • bumfug

    Best response to "Why am I a liar?" would be "Only you know the answer to that one."

  • "Moon" Moons Moonie

  • Baconzgood

    I don't like the Dead Kennedys….but I did see a dude punch Jello in Cleveland….I never seen someone hit some one that hard in the face before or since.

    • coolhandnuke

      On hand to see Henry Rollins sock some wanker in the jaw at DC's 9:30 Club. He hit him so hard you could have felt it in Baltimore.

      • Baconzgood

        Henry Rollins needs to get jawed in DC. That's east coast (Fugazi) straight edge!

        • not that Dewey

          I witnessed Kim Gordon give it to some dude, in the head, with her bass, like she was swinging a hockey stick.

          • user-of-owls

            Just how in the hell do you swing a fish like a hockey stick??

          • not that Dewey

            Very carefully…

        • horsedreamer_1

          Ian renounced sXe almost after starting it.

          Also: he's now a regular at winetastings with his drummer girlfriend.

          • snoopyfan2010

            I did my research and the google says that teddy nugent was also an early adopter of the straight edge. Ironic or prophetic? Or pathetic?

    • BornInATrailer

      And on that note, time to go watch the Danzig video again.

      • Mothuhr! Tell yer children not to hear my words. What they mean what they say
        Hell yeah.

  • fartknocker

    That interview was refreshing. I would enjoy a pay-per-view debate of Gov. Brown versus Rush Limbo.

    • DCBloom

      I would SO watch that!

    • Brown is asking for it. What a slut. He wants to be paid for debate, like a prostitute.

  • Fare la Volpe

    What is this fantastic mythical creature? I thought vertebrate-possessing politicians went extinct years ago.

    • widestanceromance

      Does bicep possession count? This is my govnuh and he is far from extinct.

      • Fare la Volpe

        Holy bajingo!

        Who is this gorgeous man, and how can I become his personal bicep polisher?!

        • widestanceromance

          Sorry to crush your hopes, but the man just signed a bill so he can gay-marry me sometime next year. I plan on letting him know that sometime this year.

          • Fare la Volpe

            I don't need to marry him, I just need to tie him to the bed and lick him head to toe.

      • Loaded_Pants

        Can we trade guvs?

        • widestanceromance

          Since I don't know who yours is, I cannot say, but you could move to MD. Given that we had Bob Ehrlich before O'Malley, we deserve His Fineness.

    • Didn't you notice the InGen stamp?

      Problem is, he needs to be fed lysine constantly

    • glasspusher

      That would be my neighbor. Lives two blocks north of me. Jogs in the evening. When I told him to watch out for cars, I couldn't vote for him if he got killed, he replied, "Ah, they ain't gonna hit me".

  • Callyson

    Reporter: Well, right now it’s going bankrupt.
    Brown: That’s untrue. I’ve reduced the deficit that was left to me by a Republican governor from $26 billion to $9 billion and I have a plan to reduce it to zero.
    Reporter: So you’re saying that the reason that California is going bankrupt is…
    Brown: No, that’s not true. We’re going far. I mean, we’re doing quite well.
    Duran: You need to ask a question that’s based on the truth.
    Brown (to Duran): You don’t have to argue with her…
    Duran: No, S&P just upgraded to positive. That’s not bankrupt…
    Duran: And your facts are totally wrong. I can prove it to you.
    Brown: Because your incisiveness is kind of suspect. Anyway. California, the economy is doing better, it’s coming back. The private economy added $90 billion, and that feeds into the public sector as well. There are deficits because there’s been excesses in the last decade, brought on principally by the mortgage bubble and breakdown. And we’re now cleaning up after that mess. It does take a while to do that. I’d say we’re on a very positive course. Not as rapid as I would like, but the trajectory is all in the right direction.
    Go Governor Moonbeam! And can you please send this transcript to the Obama administration, as a model on how to deal with FOX news and its wannabes?

  • a_pink_poodle

    Can someone let me in on what a Moonie is exactly?

    • BarackMyWorld

      The Washington Times newspaper was founded by cult-leader Rev. Moon, whose followers are sometimes referred to as "moonies," though it has different owners now.

      • OneDollarJuana

        The Moonies had mass weddings presided over by Reverend Moon, who apparently views himself as the Son o' God incarnate.

        So take that! Evangelical Xtians.

      • SorosBot

        Considering how the Reverend is supposed to be the messiah and second coming of Jesus, I wonder what's going to happen with the cult when the now very old crazy man finally dies.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          What happens when the now very old crazy man finally dies? He'll rise again on the third day, assuming they put enough yeast in his coffin.

        • We'll know the answer to that after we find out what happens to Big Hollywood.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Weird religious cult – mass weddings – hard core right wing.

      • BarackMyWorld

        Fire and brimstone coming down from the sky. Rivers and seas boiling. Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes. The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together – mass hysteria!

    • Follower of Rev Moon who believed that the 2nd coming of Jeebus Christ would come from South Korea (no shit.)

      Ironic, considering the bible made no mention of people outside the Med.

    • Chichikovovich

      I get the impression they have receded in the public eye compared to a couple of decades ago. When I was an undergraduate I would walk along Bloor Street in Toronto from Bathurst to St. George St. to get to the university, and in that stretch of maybe seven or eight blocks there would be at least a dozen of them, accosting people on the street, all with an identical "hi, how are you doing" and an affectless robosmile.

      At the time "Moonie" became shorthand for spooky brainwashed cultist with no capacity for independent thought. (So for example the standard phrase for the Straussians that the U. of T. political economy department was hopping with was "The moonies of political theory".)

    • Geminisunmars

      One of my step-sons was enticed by some wholesome looking girlies to accompany them to a moonie camp. Sometime later he was finally able to make a run for it, made a phone call to his father from a phone booth (after begging someone for the change to make the call) and was rescued. One of those kinds of cults.

    • CindynEncinitas

      Gov. Brown was dubbed "Moonbeam" during his tenure as governor in the 70s from opponents who believed his progressive ideas were too "far out." The actual moniker was given to him when he suggested that his office start conducting teleconferences instead of paying for officials to travel to Sacramento.

      • ShreditorsDesk

        Also he's a confirmed UFO witness.

    • anniegetyerfun

      OK, why the FUCK can't I post a URL anymore?


      I am a follower of the sect of Thelonious Monk. Does it make me a monkie?

  • Golfing_OJ

    Nice alt-text, there, new girl. "Bluuuue… byyyyy-yooooo…"

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I don't get the Roy Orbison reference.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I'm just sorry I was never old enough to vote any of the (three?) times he ran for president.

    • sarah_connor

      There was once a teevee debate during the primaries, I think in 92 (but it might have been 2000… cos I'm old and I can't remember)… where there are eight or nine dems seated at a long table… while the camera was trained primarily on the frontrunners in the middle of the table and he was way over on the right… anyway every once in while the camera would pull back and catch him just cold sitting back and reading the paper… and I love him for that. The End.

  • Geminisunmars

    Yay Jerry. Please show your fellow democratics how it is done! (Well, he did, apparently, have some help from another reporter pointing out lies, but still…)

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Besieged Democrats? THIS is how you fucking do it! C'mon team…for once in my life give me someone to vote for instead of making me always have to pick someone to vote against.

    If a nearby Dem/Liberal handled the right wing press like this I would volunteer immediately for his/her campaign.

  • C_R_Eature

    This is a beautiful, beautiful thing. I think I might just be getting Happy.

  • Goonemeritus

    I don’t think of Californians as that combative normally, as an East Coaster I doff my hat in admiration.

    • nicnack74

      Jerry Brown is like 72 years old. He doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't care if he gets re-elected. It's all about being of service. He's been in the game forevah. He doesn't give a FUUUUCK!

      • Geminisunmars

        When I was just a tad of a girl, he was my govnor. Welcome back, Jerry. We've missed you.

    • CindynEncinitas

      Apparently you've never driven on the 405 Freeway…

      • James Michael Curley

        If I was out there again, I would never go near there.
        In '74 or '75 the controversy was whether the CHiPs would be issued .357 magnums. The argument against was a no starter when it was recognized that most drivers in Pasadena had more fire power.

      • SorosBot

        I'll have to say the driving I saw in the bay area is the worst I've ever seen outside of third world countries.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Brown is usually pretty mellow. It's just that this lying conservative bullshit has gotten much, much worse since his first term as Gov, so a guy can only take so much: comes a time it's time to take the gloves off.

      Ain't getting any younger, and all that.

  • coolhandnuke

    I purchased my very first hammer from Ronstadt's Hardware (Linda's dad) in Tucson when I was twelve. I built a doghouse.

    • CindynEncinitas

      And we're all very proud of you!

      • coolhandnuke

        You should be, I had to live in it for the next six years.

    • chicken_thief

      You should have used it to nail her…..

      • coolhandnuke

        I would have, but I wasn't a Breeder yet, still, it was One Divine Hammer.

  • Joshua Norton

    Sounds like a "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode.

  • Steverino247

    Yes! My governor can still kick ass! Well done, sir!

    Nobody fucks with the Jerry!

    • Yeah, ain't it great?
      After all those years of Arnold.
      I love his bad-ass, fact-based throw downs!

    • Pat_Pending

      Jerry Brown is the honey badger of politics.

  • pinkocommi

    You gotta love a politician who talks as though his words are not being recorded even when they are.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Ummm… that's not working so well for Santorum.

      I think you need to mention truth, facts, reality, sanity … something to distinguish the two situations.

  • gullywompr

    Man, boobs in the last post, Linda in this one… Wonkette's viewership is going to stone explode.

    • BigRadio

      Rebecca's twit pic won't hurt either. I am finding it very easy to……

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Bankrupt? Ask your boss about that piece of shit movie "Inchon" he bankrolled. Betcha that almost bankrupted him."

    • Still don't get Sir Larry Olivier as Gen Douglas MacArthur. WTF.

  • You're doing a heck of a job, Brownie

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Sometimes I'm just too damn sarcastic for my own fucking good.

    • Golfing_OJ

      Jerry probably banged Roy too, it's all a blur in Cali.

      • Geminisunmars

        Roy never saw it coming. (sorry)

        • James Michael Curley

          One of the great myths. Orbison was not blind although his vision required coke bottle lens to be able to see a mike three feet in front of him. Some childhood disease caused his hair to turn white around puberty and he started dyeing it black early on.

          • Geminisunmars

            Blind or not, his voice still makes me swoon.

          • James Michael Curley

            Blue Brothers or not, when ever Orbison had a big run or a big TV appearance you couldn’t find a pair of Rayban Wayfarers to save your life.

    • glasspusher

      Fear not, I got that joke.

  • YouBetcha

    I am enjoying Jerry Brown's govnaship. I don't know if it's because anyone would be an improvement following The Austrian Dubya, or because he's legitimately good.

    • He's an old school, butt-kicking politician.
      (When being a politician was a GOOD thing.)

      • GOPCrusher

        And being a Democrat wasn't something to be ashamed of.

  • IncenseDebate

    A picture of Linda Ronstadt made me do wicked things to myself when I was a young teen.

    • Tumblin' the dice?

    • A picture of her today … not so much. Personally, I haven't changed a bit since I was a young teen. But then, I don't believe in cameras or mirrors or honest self-appraisal.

    • gullywompr

      Mmm hmm. She was right, too – I'm no good.

      Say it again, Linda: Baby, I'm no good. Mmmm… no good at all…

    • CindynEncinitas

      Tell your seeing-eye dog I said hi.

    • BigRadio

      I would go all Mike Tyson on my dick.

      • chicken_thief

        A tattoo on one side of the head?!

    • Angry_Marmot

      Remember that time she squeezed into a Cub Scout uniform? My first lesson in deviancy.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Webelo Webelo!

  • fuflans

    now that's my idea of taking back america.

  • Data Exactly

    Darn it – he isn't going to get his ass handed to him anymore once dead – we want to route for him being alive now… Live, man! Liiiiiiive!!!

  • billy_reuben

    I love a story with a happy ending.

  • C_R_Eature

    Has anyone checked on Andy Breitbart lately? Is he still dead?

    • fartknocker

      The death certificate will supposedly say the cause of death was President Obama. That's the latest ramblings of Alex Jones.

      • C_R_Eature

        Yup. Always Someone Else's Fault. Signature.

        • BigRadio

          Still an ass assassinated.

      • James Michael Curley

        Saw one reference that an autopsy was to be done today. That thing would be out of the printer and into the Sun at 5:01 PST if Brietbart was a whore fame seeking mental midget with big tits.

  • An_Outhouse

    Didn't this happen, like, last week? Hey, California, your slacker is showing. Take another hit, man.

    • Geminisunmars

      It's never to late to report good news.

    • CindynEncinitas

      Can't. All the dispensaries closed down.

  • OneYieldRegular

    That deserves a Pulitzer. For Brown, I mean.

  • There was a great story in the NY Times not long ago about Jerry and how he's finding the atmosphere in Sacramento on this go-round as governor as compared to the late '70s. The article opened with an anecdote: a few months ago Brown was meeting with some Teabagging legislator about the state education budget. Brown kept showing the guy documented evidence that the vast majority of education money was not going to bureaucrats' salaries. The legislator was not having any of it, and kept insisting the governor was wrong, and it was the unions bleeding the system dry that was responsible for the whole mess. Brown got so frustrated he just stood up and walked out. These guys like the legislator and the Moonie reporter just don't want to hear facts.

  • "… the sad reporter … promptly killed himself."

    Facts really are stubborn things.

  • GorzoTheMighty

    Nice Alt text Robert Heinlein reference. So Ms. Schoekopf, do you have relatives in Germany? Does the name Frau Blucher ring a bell?

    • C_R_Eature

      * Neeeieiiiiiegggghh! *

    • Steverino247

      No, but it makes nearby horses upset.

    • ttommyunger

      What knockers!

      • MosesInvests

        Vhy tank you, Herr Doktor!

        • ttommyunger

          Help you with your bags?

  • Linda Ronstadt turned Mexican about 20 years ago.

    • Geminisunmars

      She's always been ahead of her time.

    • And then Joe Arpaio went to one of her concerts and she was never seen again.

    • doloras

      Señor Plow no es macho, solamente un borracho.

  • BigRadio

    Hey Rebecca, this post is nowhere near depressing enough. *sigh* I miss Layne like I miss that thrombosed hemorrhoid I had.

  • V572 Flambé

    Jerry Brown doesn't give a shit. He's not running for president or veep, and no longer cares whose ox he gores, except maybe the prison guard union. He shut down redevelopment after San Diego flagrantly abused it in attempt to pay tribute to the football team, ending the 50-year boondoggle of "tax-increment" financing, whereby redevelopment districts used steal money from schools.

    Oh, yeah…dick joke.

  • Baconzgood

    " Are you a Moonie by any chance?"

    Iz tink thays callz thatz rezponze onez of tehmz "ad hom-in-ium" in teh eazt coastz whith theirz edumacatiozn.

  • finallyhappy

    I have met the Rev. Moon- he actually touched my shoulder. I was at a Washington TImes party a lot of years ago. At that time, the Times had real reporters, writers and GAY PEOPLE working there- refugees from other real newspapers that had closed(and Peter Steiner, the New Yorker cartoonist who coined "on the internet, no one knows you are a dog")

    • Baconzgood

      He had a face like an apple pie?

      • Biff

        Moon Pie!

    • Sheesh!
      Even the conservatives were tolerable back in the day.
      Remember when Nixon seemed like the epitome of evil?

  • Pat_Pending

    And to think there were actual discussions between pundits during the gubernatorial campaign as to whether Governor Brown was too cranky and irritable to be electable.

    • rickmaci

      He is not a cranky guy but on the other hand he does not suffer fools for long.

  • Mahousu

    Just FYI, the reporter, Kerry Picket, is a she. Dunno if she's been mass-married, though.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I still can't believe Linda Rondstadt went from dating Jerry Brown to dating the Plow King.

    • Biff

      When the Simpsons were still relevant.

  • rickmaci

    Jerry Brown was a decent governor in his first two terms. Frankly, the state was flush and there just weren't the challenges that we face today. Unfortunately, he spent way too much time with a lack luster effort at running for president and that eroded his support here and left him looking cartoonish, This time around you can see the difference. He has his eye on the ball and that is rebuilding our state after years of a partisan death spiral and he doesn't really care what interests he pisses off to get the job done. I have not been this optimistic for a long time.

  • Steverino247

    You can attack Jerry personally all you want, he doesn't care. But, if you go after California, he will attack instantly and effectively. The guy has been everywhere on the planet and could live anywhere. He chooses to live in California because he really loves it. I hope the Moonie reporter recovers quickly from those saber cuts and horseshoe-shaped bruises.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    Jerry's (facsimile) signature is on my diploma from Cal State-someplace off the 101, he earned my perpetual vote just for that. It's good to read he's not wasting it. (though being mayor of Oakland was close)

  • x111e7thst

    Pretty good. I would have liked it even better if Brown had knocked the reporter down and Duran had pissed on him.

  • Redhead

    Now THAT is awesomesauce.

  • Biff

    It would appear our new Wonkette Overlord/Lady has already figured out the timeless Wonkette tradition of coming to work on Pacific time, and going home on Eastern time, on her first day!

    • rickmaci

      There is something wrong with that?

  • anniegetyerfun

    Reporter: No, actually, because when Reagan came in later on, things actually changed.

    Brown: No, Reagan came before me. Reagan came after my father and then I came after Reagan.

    Reporter: And then you actually lost your term thereafter, no?

    Brown: No, I’m the only Democratic governor in history to serve three terms. In fact only two governors have ever served a third term.

    I'm shocked, SHOCKED, that this Times Twat didn't have her most basic facts straight. SHOCKED.

  • Generation[redacted]

    "Thank you sir, and may I have another?"

  • anniegetyerfun

    Shorter Picket: Excuse me while I masturbate to this photo of Ronald Reagan.

  • DocChaos

    This is why, when east coast Republitards were laughing about "Governor Moonbeam" in the spring of 2010, Californians knew he was going to kick Meg Whitman's ass from one end of the state to the other. They understood that he is not some ill-informed beltway establishment caricature, but a zen hardass who will tell you your a moron to your face while maintaining a beatific left-coast attitude. Part of the reason he trounced Whitman so badly was that we knew he was probably going to have to put a few liberal balls in the vice as well to get things done, and we didn't trust anyone else to do it.

    • glasspusher

      That is just _so_ well said. If that campaign was a prize fight, it would have been called after the third round. Luckily for us, it had to go the distance. Just thoroughly entertaining overall. Nice to see he isn't letting it go to waste.

  • barto

    Thank you for this, Becky! (I can call you Becky, right?)
    From a guy once known as Governor Moonbeam you would think he should know a Moonie when he saw one, amirite?

  • rickmaci

    For those who are interested, a retrospective on how the "moonbeam" nickname came about and how the guy who coined it (Mike Rokyo) ultimately concluded that EGB was the only Democrat "who understands what this country will be up against.”

  • AlaskaGrrl

    "At which point, the sad reporter mumbled “Thank you, sir,” slunk off in shame, and promptly killed himself, the End."

    Well damn! If we'd a know it was that easy…

  • RandPaulsToupee

    Back in my salad days of working as a reporter instead of "working on my novel" (unemployment) I got to interview Jerry Brown a few times. He was always incredibly kind and respectful, and earned my admiration because he was such an obviously smart dude. I guess I can now pat myself on the back now, since I was a decent enough reporter to avoid being called a Moonie.

  • Trinket

    Omg that was hawt. I'd trade my soul for video of that.

  • "That’s a lie. You’re lying."

    Too bad we couldn't have had Gil Duran as the moderator for one of those 7,462 debates the Republicans had. That would have been FUN-NEE.

  • DemonicRage

    Californians: they elect The Terminator to be their Guv, then this very old, Yoda-like figure. What is going on out there? Is it true that they're also experimenting with turning sewer water back into drinking water? WHAT IS GOING ON, OUT THERE?

    • glasspusher

      Don't knock my new job, pal.

  • CheeseNPear

    Sounds like our governor is channeling the spirit of Steve Jobs again. (Only Jobs would have replaced "Liar"/"Moonie" with "Bozo"/"Virgin".)

  • Negropolis

    The reporter asked backed: Are you a Moonbeam?

    No, no. That is way to clever a comeback for a Washington Times "journalist."

  • Negropolis

    That's no moon, Governor Brown…

  • ttommyunger

    I have no difficulty fapping to this whatsoever.

  • DahBoner

    Note to Washington: THIS IS HOW YA DO IT…

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