LIKE JESUS USED TO  2:16 pm March 2, 2012

Newt Gingrich Laments That Teachers Aren’t Bullying Gay Children Enough

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

And probably eats tofu, too.

Hated sleaze dragon Newt Gingrich has had another oversized bout of erudition seize his fat head with regards to public education reform! In order to discourage homosexuality in America’s youth, how about the school teachers stop treating gay children like they are morally equivalent to non-gay ones? Just like they used to, he suggests: “We have now had a whole two generations of teachers who explained to us ‘you shouldn’t render moral judgment, after all it’s all situation ethics, who are we to decide,’ and that’s been a major problem.” (Was the “teacher” in question Newt himself, talking to the mirror before nailing his staffer?) Will the proposal be an instant hit, like his plan to shame poor children in front of their classmates by forcing them to clean the school with little mops and rags moistened with their own tears? How about a test case? Looking in your direction, Tennessee?

Haywood County good Samaritan high school principal Dorothy Bond heroically tried to remind her students that openly gay children do not deserve to be educated:

In the news release earlier Thursday, the ACLU said it had received reports from parents and students that during a school assembly, Bond said “gay students are ‘not on God’s path’ and threatened to expel them if they publicly showed affection for members of the same sex.”

And was she thanked?

Haywood County High School’s principal has resigned after a national civil rights organization said she made anti-LGBT remarks and threatened to expel gay students.

A statement released by the Haywood County School Board’s law firm, Purcell, Sellers & Craig Inc., said Principal Dorothy Bond tendered her resignation Thursday.

“The Haywood County Board of Education acknowledges its student body’s right to free speech,” the board said in the statement. “Further, the Haywood County Board of Education strives to provide an atmosphere of tolerance and diversity while maintaining high academic standards.”

No, she was not thanked. She was forced to quit her job. Why do school boards hate Newt Gingrich’s brilliant ideas so much? [Right Wing Watch/ Jackson Sun]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 206 comments }

HuddledMass March 2, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Because they suck?

iburl March 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

You know who else said "you shouldn’t render moral judgment"?

Exhausted66 March 2, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Women.

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Jesus?

sharethegrief March 2, 2012 at 2:36 pm

The first time Newt said it, he was on bended knee in the House, right before he was ex-communicated. Funny thing about moral judgments.

actor212 March 2, 2012 at 2:42 pm

"The word "apology" is tossed around a lot these days, but when it comes from in here… "

actor212 March 2, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Bodisativa Buddha?

ifthethunderdontgetya March 2, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Joseph Adolph Mao Tse-tung Stalin Hitler, that's who!
~

starfanglednut March 2, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I know that guy!

Nothingisamiss March 2, 2012 at 6:09 pm

I work with him!

doloras March 2, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Niggah owe me fi'ty bucks!

Dashboard Buddha March 2, 2012 at 2:49 pm

I'm thinking that it would be ok to cast stones at Newt…regardless of our own state of sin.

actor212 March 2, 2012 at 3:01 pm

I got a better idea: let's dash Newt against the rocks instead

Dashboard Buddha March 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I like the cut of your jib.—

actor212 March 2, 2012 at 3:18 pm

You ought to see my stunsails

Jukesgrrl March 2, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Your efficiency is admirable. Why waste perfectly good rocks on such a worthless target. Seriously, he can't even Inflame the Base® anymore. What good is he?

Dr_pangloss March 2, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Guy Lumbardo?

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Brian of Nazareth?

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 3:10 pm

"Rewease Bwian!"

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Cthulhu?

TanzbodenKoenig March 2, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Flying Spaghetti Monster <pesto be upon him>?

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 3:48 pm

PESTO???
Heretic!!
Anathema marinara!

GregComlish March 2, 2012 at 6:37 pm

My acupuncturist?

Designer_Rants March 2, 2012 at 11:19 pm

So wise.

KeepFnThatChicken March 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

For all your conviction, Ms. Bond, you sure pen a fast resignation.

BigRadio March 2, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Yes, but it was done tenderly.

Sue4466 March 2, 2012 at 2:22 pm

So, situationally speaking, does being uber patriotic make multiple marital affairs ethically okie dokie?

iburl March 2, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Let's ask Dr. Keith Ablow….

actor212 March 2, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Well, Newt did say he got divorced because he loved his country so much

(…that he needed a hot chick to share the Lincoln bedroom with him if he ever won)

SmutBoffin March 2, 2012 at 2:22 pm

HAI GUISE I have been away in NOLA for a meeting and haven't been checking the WONKETTS.

Did anything happen?

BigRadio March 2, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Gingrich just spewed more Santorum out of his mouth.

elviouslyqueer March 2, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Nope. Andrew Breitbart=still dead.

SmutBoffin March 2, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Well, his body finally caught up with his sense of shame, then.

Nothingisamiss March 2, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Nice.

FraAnima March 2, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Welcome our new dominatrix overlord.

SmutBoffin March 2, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Wonkette is an actual -ette again? Finally! I have been losing much sleep for the past few years over this discrepancy.

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Not a fucking thing.

elviouslyqueer March 2, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Wait. You were in NOLA? BEADS or GTFO.

James Michael Curley March 2, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Hmmm? SmutBoffin returns from NOLA – Frothy goes to NOLA. We need a stalwart conspiracy analist to examin this.

Designer_Rants March 2, 2012 at 11:21 pm

You mean, conspiracy ANAL-ist? Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

starfanglednut March 2, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Buttsecks, mostly.

fuflans March 2, 2012 at 4:50 pm

north korea has hinted they might come back to the negotiation table.
the syrian regime has continued to bombard homs despite icrc convoys.
james murdoch stepped down.
tornadoes blasted most of the red states.

yeah, that's about it.

Chet Kincaid March 2, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Perhaps if Newt's high school teacher had taught him about ethics instead of giving him private tutoring in How To Make Sweet Love To An Older Woman, his moral compass would point toward something other than adultery.

Jukesgrrl March 2, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Vili Fualaau Libel.

emmelemm March 2, 2012 at 3:41 pm

I get that joke.

(just sayin)

Chet Kincaid March 2, 2012 at 5:46 pm

If loving her was wrong, he don't wanna be right!

drrty_martini March 2, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Historian Newt might also want to look up the definition of situational ethics…but it might keep him from casting the first stone.

Geminisunmars March 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

There should be a "don't ask, don't tell" policy in schools, because children don't know about differences among themselves, and are never bullies or mean unless the deviant makes it clear that he/she is asking for it.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Wait .. this was in Tennessee?

HuddledMass March 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Thought you had a lock on Tennessee schools, didn't you Bielzy?

Biel_ze_Bubba March 2, 2012 at 2:30 pm
FraAnima March 2, 2012 at 2:45 pm

You know who else was in Tennessee?

Biel_ze_Bubba March 2, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Davy Crockett.
Jack Daniels.

Those are the ones that matter to me.

Nostrildamus March 2, 2012 at 2:58 pm

I'm picturing you drinking whiskey with a varmint on your head.

FraAnima March 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm

That made me lol. I was thinking more of A Streetcar Named Desire.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 2, 2012 at 4:28 pm

In my distant yoot, I did in fact have a *skin hat. Fortunately, it was long gone by the time I discovered bourbon.

Jukesgrrl March 2, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Those are the ones that matter, and not necessarily in that order.

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Al Gore?

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Frank Philip Merlo?

HistoriCat March 2, 2012 at 4:08 pm

I call bullshit – they used that word. Now if they were talking about Takei children …

veritass March 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Mr. Stay Puft went on to explain that his first divorce wasn't a choice and therefore isn't subject to the same moral judgements. "She wasn't young or pretty enough and she had cancer," he said. "It wasn't a choice; she was born that way."

Jukesgrrl March 2, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Born that way? Was his first wife Lady Gaga? That explains a lot.

SorosBot March 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

No, Newt, teachers do teach kids to render moral judgements all the time. The thing is sexual orientation is not a moral issue, nor is sexuality in general, you bigoted fat fuck. As long as it's consensual, with who or how people have sex has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with morality.

Learn what morals are – it deals with how you treat others, not what you do with your genitals. It also has absolutely nothing to do with religion, which you keep trying to irrelevantly stick into everything.

starfanglednut March 2, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Thanks, sb.

OldWhiteLies March 2, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Umm, OK. First attempt … try to be gentle …

Well if we get to decide what he be stickin – rather than where he be stickin it. Methinks it best that it in fact be just his religion we be choosin for his stickin. Cause I don't wish to see what else he might be stickin, wherever.

Hmmm, not my best work. But not my worst.

edgydrifter March 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Yet another example of liberals shamefully discriminating against bigoted assholes.

Preferred Customer March 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Right. This is really about religious freedom. Why can't we see that Christians are the real victims here, as they are everywhere else?

SorosBot March 2, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Right; the principal's religion tells her to be a nasty bullying bigot to the children she's supposed to be educating, firing her for that is just more anti-Christian discrimination. And there's more discrimination of the Christians that form ~75% of America's population than anyone else!

MissTaken March 2, 2012 at 2:43 pm

For just pennies a day you can adopt a Christian and save them from a life of tolerance and Christian do-gooding.

Preferred Customer March 2, 2012 at 3:02 pm

You know, I gave a LOT of money to the Lions Club before I realized that the number of Christians in my area wasn't decreasing at all. Stupid false advertising.

SorosBot March 2, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Save the Christians from a life of privilege and constantly whining about how bad they have it!

GOPCrusher March 2, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Well, those Godless Sodomites keep trying to shove their gay agenda down everyone's throat.

Exhausted66 March 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

"It gets butter."
-Newt, to everything on his plate at every meal.

doloras March 2, 2012 at 9:03 pm

"It puts the butter on its skin or else it gets the hose again."

LabRodent March 2, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Ms Armstrong the Gym teacher would like to see you in her office right now Mrs Bond.

Preferred Customer March 2, 2012 at 2:26 pm

The link has a picture of Newt with his Faith Posse, which includes such theological luminaries as Chuck Norris. You know what I've always thought? It's totally normal for all these right wing wingnut dudes to worship Chuck Norris. There is nothing gay about that. At all.

Douché March 2, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Next he's going to complain about those rotten little catholic boys who seduce their priests and then tell on them.

actor212 March 2, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Imagine! Wearing those sweaty shorts!

GOPCrusher March 2, 2012 at 4:37 pm

And those sultry boys that made Jerry Sandusky buttsechs them in the shower.

Baconzgood March 2, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Unrelated to this post.

BACONZ's the MAN! Big deal finished today. ABC BABY. Always Be Closing. Now John's client is mine $$$$$$. This is why I never took a vacation more than 5 days in my life!!!!! It's not the monies that matter to Baconz so much as the hunt. I like closing and hunting. DAMN! I bet I'd be a good stereo sales man!

Sorry I touched success today so I'm braging.

(this comment is 100% snark free)

bumfug March 2, 2012 at 2:28 pm

So did you win the Cadillac or only the steak knives?

Baconzgood March 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm

I have no use for either. I don't use a car to commute and I attack deer in the park with my bare teeth to maintain sustenance.

Jukesgrrl March 2, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Nuge???

Preferred Customer March 2, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Does that mean you get an extra wall for your cubicle? Walls are for closers, Baconz.

Baconzgood March 2, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Cubicle?!?!?! This ain't no small town kid! I do this for a living. I was able to con myself in to an office with a really nice oak door. No one else would take it because the last guy had a heart attack in it. They are superstitious on this company.

BornInATrailer March 2, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Then buy us all t-shirts. My "Don't Teabag On Me" shirt has yellow pits.

Baconzgood March 2, 2012 at 3:32 pm

No! I'll buy everyone on Wonkette this if they give me an address.
http://gunthernet.com/gunthershop_us.htm

Designer_Rants March 2, 2012 at 11:47 pm

I like the baby blue.

I'd give you my address, but it'd be way cooler if you just shot it in my general direction with a T-shirt gun.

Blueb4sunrise March 2, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Online data entry?

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm

BACONZ buying everyone a round. Santorum Slides for all!

GOPCrusher March 2, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Is that what they are calling Black Russians these days?

ttommyunger March 3, 2012 at 8:40 am

So, success, where did the Bacon-Man touch you?

Beowoof March 2, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I would bet real money he was given lots of wedgies in high school. And now he thinks he is a cool kid and pick on the gays.

BornInATrailer March 2, 2012 at 2:26 pm

And that response about teachers and morality came from a Presidential candidate and former speaker, sitting on a "Faith Leader Coalition" with Chuck Norris, after a question that made same-sex marriage equivalent to marrying your dog or cow.

I know this is pretty standard stuff of late and I should be numbed to it, but oh my.

HempDogbane March 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

When Newt Gingrich renders moral judgements, people listen !

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2012 at 2:53 pm

He's like the EF Hutton of moral turpitude!!

SudsMcKenzie March 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

You know Newt secretly watches Glee.

actor212 March 2, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Would that make him a Glute?

(that was a softball….come on, knock it out of the park!)

starfanglednut March 2, 2012 at 4:09 pm

eus maximus?

Jukesgrrl March 2, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Any man who has Dancing Queen as his ringtone doesn't need to keep his love of Glee a secret.

Goonemeritus March 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Funny I lament that political correctness keeps us from feeding Christians to the lions anymore.

Designer_Rants March 2, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Yes, let their "God" protect them, like in their story book. I'm surprised the fervent ones aren't subjecting themselves to the sports domes to awe us.

KeepFnThatChicken March 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Wow. Just. Fucking. Wow. From the Jackson Sun article:

Jason Hillman voiced his support for Bond in a comment on the Facebook thread. “Sounds like a good principal to me,” he said. “I bet the ACLU would think everything was OK if the principal was sleeping with a student of the same sex at school. Stupid liberals.”

No, wait. It gets better.

Wanda Joyner also defended Bond on Facebook, saying there should be more principals like her. “Sounds like she is standing up for morals in that school. Need more like her,” she said. “That is a personal choice to be gay or not to be gay so they should leave that stuff at home.”

I have had the misfortune of speaking to this Joyner once. She admitted straight up that she would have no problem disowning a gay child, because of the whole abomination thing.

All I want is six hours' notice before the strafing begins, please.

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2012 at 2:34 pm

If I had a rocket launcher…

UnholyMoses March 2, 2012 at 2:55 pm

"That is a personal choice to be gay or not to be gay … "

/snark="ON"

Yep. Sure is.

In fact, I remember the day I chose to become a heterosexual. It was while looking for something in some old boxes in the basement. I only saw a bit of a leg at first and, thus, moved the old Field & Stream out of the way to discover … boobies.

I thought to myself, "Self, I know you have this tingly feeling in your nether regions right now — one you've never quite felt before but would definitely like to feel much, much, much more often — but you really have to make a choice here: Do you fap to this endlessly until it becomes so worn it's see through? Or do you decide that sucking cock is your thing?"

Well, needless to say, I chose boobies. Because they're just so … boobalicious.

And any man who doesn't make that choice is an abomination because SHUT UP THAT'S WHY!

/snark

I mean, really. These fuckers just need to be shot into low Earth orbit in some won't-survive-long vessel that can then be used as missle-defense-shield target practice. Maybe ask the Chinese to ram a satellite into the thing.

Whatthefuckever it takes, I'm good with it.

Loaded_Pants March 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm

That is a personal choice to be religious or not to be religious so they should leave that stuff at home.

starfanglednut March 2, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Damn, uh straight!

Joshua Norton March 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Ah, Newters. Regaling us with his daily quota of rectum inspired data.

Barb March 2, 2012 at 2:30 pm

We shouldn't be sending our children to school to be abused like this. That is what church is for.

ManchuCandidate March 2, 2012 at 2:30 pm

I'll bet Newt's former Phys Ed teacher has a similar lament every time he sees Newty Toot on the TV at the senior's home.

Major Thom March 2, 2012 at 2:30 pm

In other news, the Santorum campaign announces the hiring of good Samaritan high school principal Dorothy Bond as their new director of community relations.

Jukesgrrl March 2, 2012 at 3:42 pm

He wants to make her Secretary of Education. I know he says he'll abolish that office. But he's a liar. So, Secretary of Education. (Secretary as in "get me coffee.")

BigRadio March 2, 2012 at 2:31 pm

BTW, Jesus does have two daddies. The guy with the beard, i.e. God, and the creepy fuck who goes by the name of the Holy Ghost.

Douché March 2, 2012 at 2:55 pm

That would be 3, don't forget poor Joseph. Man that was probably one jacked up family come holidays. "Mom, Joseph, is god coming for dinner on my birthday this year? I don't mind, but he's so fucking holier than thou. And he never brings shit for presents"

not that Dewey March 2, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Jesus was a red-headed stepchild?

BigDumbRedDog March 2, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Hey newt! My morals just kicked your morals in the nuts. How'd that feel?

MissTaken March 2, 2012 at 2:32 pm

If we can't pick on gays and poorz who can we pick on?

Deportably_Jose March 2, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Women?

SorosBot March 2, 2012 at 2:41 pm

The womens and the blacks and browns? Oh and the Muslins and athists too!

BigDumbRedDog March 2, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Womenz! Then we're gonna go real old school and start pickin on the blahs again. And complaining about all those dirty eyetalians and Irish.

sharethegrief March 2, 2012 at 2:45 pm

That slutty, pill swallowing Sandra Fluke.

starfanglednut March 2, 2012 at 4:14 pm

The one who should be making porn?

sharethegrief March 2, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Marrying Limbaugh is what prostitution is all about.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Trolls. Now just where the fuck are they?

MissTaken March 2, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Still at the Golden Corral "All You Can Shovel Into Your Fat Ass Fupa Breakfast Buffet". They usually appear when they close to do the switch to the dinner food.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Aha, thanks! I've misplaced my Peterson's Field Guide to North American Assholes.

I'm glad Somebody's prepared around here!

Douché March 2, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Rape and Incest victims are still fair game as far as the GOP is concerned.

Jukesgrrl March 2, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I'm going to pick on Bristol and Tripp. Don't try and stop me.

Chichikovovich March 2, 2012 at 4:17 pm

This enthusiastic response has been deleted by the administrator

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 4:00 pm

How about ugly people? Everybody hates *those* bastards.

starfanglednut March 2, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Rollerbladers. They take up the whole fucking bike path going side to side.

GOPCrusher March 2, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Illinois Nazis?

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2012 at 2:32 pm

"threatened to expel them if they publicly showed affection for members of the same sex"

Does that include holding hands when they play Red Rover and Ring Around the Rosie?

Swampgas_Man March 2, 2012 at 6:00 pm

If they're still playing ring around the rosie in High School, they've got bigger problems than Bond.

FlownOver March 2, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Newt is just trying to clear out some educational deadwood, to create a teaching position for Ken Layne.

Schmannnity March 2, 2012 at 2:33 pm

How long must we suffer Newt?

gullywompr March 2, 2012 at 2:33 pm

I think Newt spoiled his rod long ago…

DonnyKerabotsos March 2, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Had student Gingrich showed up in my class when I was a high school teacher, I would have gladly risked firing for the opportunity to explain to him that he shares moral equivalency with NO ONE, due to the fact that he is a whore-mongering, serial- adulterer, a false catholic, a disgraced congressman and an overpaid mortgage historian.

wolvenwood13 March 2, 2012 at 4:44 pm

You forgot to add hypocrite, liar, and scam artist.

elviouslyqueer March 2, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Ah yes, bucolic Haywood County. Where disaffected Wonder Bread-white racist and homophobic morons go to escape the tens of evil gays that infest the Memphis MSA, only to find out that one of their educational champions is a mouthy negress.

Eve8Apples March 2, 2012 at 2:36 pm

What about the morals of fathers who abandon their cancer stricken wives for some young hot healthy piece of ass? I bet Jesus doesn't like those kind of fathers.

MissTaken March 2, 2012 at 2:37 pm

during a school assembly, Bond said “gay students are ‘not on God’s path’ and threatened to expel them if they publicly showed affection for members of the same sex.”

I barely remember high school but I think our school assemblies were about kicking our rival school's ass during the homecoming game. Must've slept through the "God Hates Fags" cheer.

Schmannnity March 2, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Gimme an H, gimme an A, gimme a TES. Who does God Hate? etc etc

IonaTrailer March 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm

I thought he hated figs….

elviouslyqueer March 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm

GOD HATES FIGS. (And, lets face it, the way papaya smells, He probably wasn't too fond of that either.)

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 4:02 pm

He does. That's why he attacked a fig tree:
http://www.rationalchristianity.net/fig_tree.html

anniegetyerfun March 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Oh, I wish I had gone to your high school. I'm pretty sure "God Hates Fags" was our school's motto.

GOPCrusher March 2, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Westboro Baptist High?

anniegetyerfun March 2, 2012 at 4:56 pm

If only it were the obvious. No, just a small town in Washington State, stuffed to the brim with self-loathing homo rednecks. None of them ever left; I did the moment I could.

comrad_darkness March 3, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Next time you hear of a kid being pulled out for home schooling, just imagine this is why.

CapeClod March 2, 2012 at 2:39 pm

When I want an opinion on moral judgement, I always seek out the advice of a irredeemable sleazebag like Newt Gingrich.

actor212 March 2, 2012 at 2:40 pm

How can ye have any puddin' ef ye don' beat yer meat????

Biel_ze_Bubba March 2, 2012 at 2:41 pm

"I think if we get four more years of Obama, four more years of him picking Supreme Court justices, four more years of these kind of radical rules, we won’t be the country we were in 2008 in terms of our core values."

Gingrich is an optimist — who knew?

friendlyskies March 2, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Please. If the USA hadn't been taught the wisdom of rendering moral judgement, we might have let Gingrich get a chance at the presidency. [Insert long string of judgmental robot mistress vs. cancer wife jokes here.]

elburritodeluxe March 2, 2012 at 2:44 pm

No child of that age is on God's path.

johnnyzhivago March 2, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Right to Free Speech???? What do they think this is Russia or something????

proudgrampa March 2, 2012 at 2:45 pm

“That is a personal choice to be gay or not to be gay so they should leave that stuff at home.”

Ms. Joyner, that is a personal choice to be an asshole or not be an asshole so you should leave that stuff at home.

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Maybe Dorothy should get back to Kansas.

larryfinexx March 2, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Newt Gingrich is fat and his wife looks kooky.

FraAnima March 2, 2012 at 2:47 pm

I blame Obama.

Dashboard Buddha March 2, 2012 at 2:48 pm

"‘you shouldn’t render moral judgment, after all it’s all situation ethics, who are we to decide,”

Too many words. It's more like, "Hey KID…stop being a dick and leave him alone".

MissTaken March 2, 2012 at 2:48 pm

I suspect that Dorothy Bond is a bit more Friend of Dorothy than she is letting on.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 2:49 pm

“We have now had a whole two generations of teachers who explained to us ‘you shouldn’t render moral judgment, after all it’s all situation ethics, who are we to decide,’ and that’s been a major problem” Said Newt, as he boned his High School English teacher.

Guppy March 2, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Until he divorced her while she was in a hospital bed.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Mr. Family Values!

DemonicRage March 2, 2012 at 2:50 pm

He's just trying to protect the poor children who are cleaning the bathrooms from seeing anything untoward going on, in the bathrooms.

owhatever March 2, 2012 at 2:54 pm

I bullied Newt Gingrich in junior high school because he was a fat little sissy with a dick the size of a worm who talked too much. No regrets. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it.

Sassomatic March 2, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Well, if it's a choice to be gay, then it is also a choice to not be gay, so then shouldn't those not-gay kids be leaving their not-gayness at home? I guess it's also their choice to be Christian or not, so they should refrain from outward displays of Christianity, yes?

weej_bain March 2, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Someone should make Neuter a castrato in fact as well as his so very annoying current vocal range.

Nostrildamus March 2, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Time for some dumb bond jokes.

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Q: Why did the Bond make an ignorant statement about gay students?
A: Because she's a bigoted old cunt.

Nostrildamus March 2, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Bond: Do you expect me to resign?
Goldfinger: No, Ms. Bond. I expect you to die.

chascates March 2, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Newt, ask your sister if this is true.

James Michael Curley March 2, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Purcell, Sellers & Craig Inc., an absolutely fabulous name for a law firm!

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Where the partners are Craig Purcell, Craig Sellers, Purcell Craig, Purcell Craig Jr. , Purcell Craig III, Sellers Craig, and Purcell Sellers — because that's the kind of names those people give their children.

Oh yeah, and also, they advertise on craigslist.

C_R_Eature March 2, 2012 at 3:08 pm

So, what will Andrew Breitbart have to say about this?

Ha, ha! Nothing… He's still dead!

not that Dewey March 2, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Let's hear from Jim Britt · Top commenter · Keyboard Jockey at No body's business

This woman was an idiot and a coward to resign because the anti-American ACLU doesn't like her CORRECT views on sexual deviants! These gay students are at least 20 times more likely of catching AIDS and teen pregnancy CAN destroy lives.

I guess it's better to have school leaders that hand out condoms and say "GO FOR IT".

CHRISTIAN PARENTS OF THIS SCHOOL SHOULD DEMAND SHE BE REHIRED AND GIVEN A RAISE. THEY SHOULD SUE THE ACLU FOR A "HATE CRIME" AGAINST DECENCY AND CHRISTIANITY FOR ATTACKING HER.

Did you hear that, gay teens? Stop getting pregnant!

emmelemm March 2, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Double WTF whiplash.

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 4:17 pm

"sexual deviants!"

Having gotten that out of his system, the writer returned to his usual daily routine of fapping to tentacle rape porn.

not that Dewey March 2, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Keyboard Jockey, heal thyself!

Guppy March 2, 2012 at 3:34 pm

‘you shouldn’t render moral judgment, after all it’s all situation ethics, who are we to decide,’

That's funny. That's exactly the answer he gives when asked about all his divorces.

Generation[redacted] March 2, 2012 at 4:03 pm

"And don't let me catch any of you kids celebrating the Solstice, neither! Or it's off to reform school!"

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 4:04 pm

If only Dorothy Bond had had the foresight to be a principal in Michigan, where bullying of gay students is protected by the legal law.

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 4:05 pm

"And was she thanked?"

No, Principal Bond, I expect you to resign.
*pets white angora cat*

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I'm not sure I agree; I have a hard time teling the difference between a Newt and a pig.

tessiee March 2, 2012 at 4:16 pm

“We have now had a whole two generations of teachers who explained to us ‘you shouldn’t render moral judgment, after all it’s all situation ethics, who are we to decide,’ and that’s been a major problem.”

*anxiously*
But cheating on exams, that's still OK, right?
Right?

Slim_Pickins March 2, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Newt is full of Santorum, as usual.

fuflans March 2, 2012 at 4:53 pm

tennesse seems to show up here at wonkette a lot.

Chichikovovich March 2, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Among the millions of things that are reality-independent and paranoid about this "teachers are telling kids that everything is OK", — besides the fact that it's yet another of the right's unending stock of patently false zombie lies whose falsehood could be easily ascertained just by asking a few teachers if they believe that, or for that matter just thinking for three minutes about what is being claimed — is that in this case it is not just false, but the exact opposite of what the teachers (with a shred of decency) are telling their students: it is totally, non-relatively, 100%-no-exceptions, as indubitable as 2 + 2 = 4, absolutely wrong to bully gay students. Absolutely. Without qualification. And it is the right wing that wants to get all relativist on us (as they also do when you point out all the God-ordered genocides in the Old Testament or the slaveholding of prominent "Founding Fathers" – different time, don't ya know. Different situations.) "Oh, well, hitting someone who has done nothing to harm you is usually bad, that's true, but when someone's religious beliefs are being openly mocked by two male students holding hands, well, you have to take those considerations into account."

Listen, Newt, I and people like me will often say things like: "Everything Newt Gingrich has said or done since he reached the age of 16 and probably before has been dishonest, corrupt, cruel, self-interested, despicable, and, in short, morally vicious.* Really: he's an evil person."** When I say that I don't mean "situationally evil", and I don't mean "by the standards of contemporary society" evil or "in this context" evil. I mean flat out evil. You are morally reprehensible. Really – absolutely.

Now I'll explain something to you – it's the sort of thing that real professors don't have to have explained to them, because they actually are capable of thinking about and understanding freshman-level basic distinctions and facts from time to time – but I'll explain it to you because you're a professor only in your own bloated vainglorious imagination. When people say "it's perfectly OK to be gay", they are not relativists. They are not saying "oh, well, we simply mustn't make moral judgement about being gay". They are making an absolute, unqualified, non-situational moral evaluation. And this this is how the evaluation is expressed: "Being gay is not morally wrong, it is perfectly OK."

OK, now I'll make another pass through this, because you've made it manifest that extreme measures are needed to get even the most elementary points across to you. Here are two different things. i) Asserting that no-one should make absolute moral judgments. ii) Asserting an absolute moral judgement, which you happen to disagree with. [And I might add: that you wrongly disagree with, because you're evil.] If an applicant for a masters program in our department were to be unable to understand that distinction we would never accept him/her into the program. Because that failure is compelling evidence that the candidate is really thick. But you continually make this elementary confusion. Face it: you're not only evil, but stupid as well. And take it from a trained professional in the professoring trade: you don't got what it takes.*** They denied you tenure for a reason.

*using "vicious" in its old-fashioned sense where it is paired as the opposite of "virtuous", to conform to the opposites "virtue : vice" (see, for example David Hume or Gibbon) I do this because Newt is, like, a professor and everything.

** And stupid, too, though that is not a moral vice. However, your brand of willed ignorance probably is.

***Since this thread is going dormant, I reserve the right to repost the rant in it's entirety the next time Newt ever spews this "liberals say you shouldn't make moral judgments" sewage.

unclejeems March 2, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap!!! Huzzah! From one prof to a much more articulate one.

mavenmaven March 2, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Is Dorothy Bond aiming to be Newt's next wife?

WiscDad March 2, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Newt Gingrich can (and probably would) suck my fucking dick.

Schmegeg March 3, 2012 at 1:33 am

These students should do the moral thing and bang their teachers, and if they want to be a little naughty, some Catholic School uniforms and a three way wouldn't be out of the question.

PuglyDoRight March 3, 2012 at 6:09 am

Wasn't Newtie's first wife his high school teacher? Supposedly he starting "seeing" Jackie when he was 16 but won't admit to any physical relationship until after he graduated high school. Since he's so moral, and all that.

ttommyunger March 3, 2012 at 8:47 am

One day I will run into Newt here in "Tardlandia"….No, seriously, I will run him over with my car-twice!

comrad_darkness March 3, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I'm sure Newt was bullied because he was a dickish, entitled, pasty fat white kid, but clearly he wasn't bullied nearly enough.

comrad_darkness March 3, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Ms. Joyner's Jesus taught hate and intolerance. What edition of the bible is that in? Anyone ask her?

rickmaci March 3, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Bullying is the foundation of the Conservatard agenda; bullying gays, bullying racial minorities, bullying non-Christians; bullying women. Looks like that last one isn't going to work out so well for them, finally, and their idiot platform is going to crash down on them. Can't come soon enough. 4 more years!!!

valthemus June 19, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Newt Gingrich views the world through 1870-colored glasses.

Dashboard Buddha March 2, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I had to look that up.

GOPCrusher March 2, 2012 at 4:35 pm

* golf clap *

NellCote71 March 2, 2012 at 6:18 pm

. . . Followed by a polite cough.

Doktor Zoom March 2, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Aubrey-Maturin 2012!!!!

Designer_Rants March 2, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Me too, but it was worth it.

Doktor Zoom March 2, 2012 at 8:53 pm

See also the "Cement Mixer" (aka "cumshot")

Designer_Rants March 2, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Wow, they nailed what I thought it might look like.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: