like jesus used to

Newt Gingrich Laments That Teachers Aren’t Bullying Gay Children Enough

And probably eats tofu, too.

Hated sleaze dragon Newt Gingrich has had another oversized bout of erudition seize his fat head with regards to public education reform! In order to discourage homosexuality in America’s youth, how about the school teachers stop treating gay children like they are morally equivalent to non-gay ones? Just like they used to, he suggests: “We have now had a whole two generations of teachers who explained to us ‘you shouldn’t render moral judgment, after all it’s all situation ethics, who are we to decide,’ and that’s been a major problem.” (Was the “teacher” in question Newt himself, talking to the mirror before nailing his staffer?) Will the proposal be an instant hit, like his plan to shame poor children in front of their classmates by forcing them to clean the school with little mops and rags moistened with their own tears? How about a test case? Looking in your direction, Tennessee?

Haywood County good Samaritan high school principal Dorothy Bond heroically tried to remind her students that openly gay children do not deserve to be educated:

In the news release earlier Thursday, the ACLU said it had received reports from parents and students that during a school assembly, Bond said “gay students are ‘not on God’s path’ and threatened to expel them if they publicly showed affection for members of the same sex.”

And was she thanked?

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Haywood County High School’s principal has resigned after a national civil rights organization said she made anti-LGBT remarks and threatened to expel gay students.

A statement released by the Haywood County School Board’s law firm, Purcell, Sellers & Craig Inc., said Principal Dorothy Bond tendered her resignation Thursday.

“The Haywood County Board of Education acknowledges its student body’s right to free speech,” the board said in the statement. “Further, the Haywood County Board of Education strives to provide an atmosphere of tolerance and diversity while maintaining high academic standards.”

No, she was not thanked. She was forced to quit her job. Why do school boards hate Newt Gingrich’s brilliant ideas so much? [Right Wing Watch/ Jackson Sun]

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206 comments

    1. sharethegrief

      The first time Newt said it, he was on bended knee in the House, right before he was ex-communicated. Funny thing about moral judgments.

    2. Dashboard Buddha

      I'm thinking that it would be ok to cast stones at Newt…regardless of our own state of sin.

        1. Jukesgrrl

          Your efficiency is admirable. Why waste perfectly good rocks on such a worthless target. Seriously, he can't even Inflame the Base® anymore. What good is he?

  1. Sue4466

    So, situationally speaking, does being uber patriotic make multiple marital affairs ethically okie dokie?

    1. actor212

      Well, Newt did say he got divorced because he loved his country so much

      (…that he needed a hot chick to share the Lincoln bedroom with him if he ever won)

  2. SmutBoffin

    HAI GUISE I have been away in NOLA for a meeting and haven't been checking the WONKETTS.

    Did anything happen?

      1. SmutBoffin

        Wonkette is an actual -ette again? Finally! I have been losing much sleep for the past few years over this discrepancy.

    1. James Michael Curley

      Hmmm? SmutBoffin returns from NOLA – Frothy goes to NOLA. We need a stalwart conspiracy analist to examin this.

    2. fuflans

      north korea has hinted they might come back to the negotiation table.
      the syrian regime has continued to bombard homs despite icrc convoys.
      james murdoch stepped down.
      tornadoes blasted most of the red states.

      yeah, that's about it.

  3. Chet Kincaid

    Perhaps if Newt's high school teacher had taught him about ethics instead of giving him private tutoring in How To Make Sweet Love To An Older Woman, his moral compass would point toward something other than adultery.

  4. Geminisunmars

    There should be a "don't ask, don't tell" policy in schools, because children don't know about differences among themselves, and are never bullies or mean unless the deviant makes it clear that he/she is asking for it.

          1. Biel_ze_Bubba

            In my distant yoot, I did in fact have a *skin hat. Fortunately, it was long gone by the time I discovered bourbon.

    1. HistoriCat

      I call bullshit – they used that word. Now if they were talking about Takei children …

  5. veritass

    Mr. Stay Puft went on to explain that his first divorce wasn't a choice and therefore isn't subject to the same moral judgements. "She wasn't young or pretty enough and she had cancer," he said. "It wasn't a choice; she was born that way."

  6. SorosBot

    No, Newt, teachers do teach kids to render moral judgements all the time. The thing is sexual orientation is not a moral issue, nor is sexuality in general, you bigoted fat fuck. As long as it's consensual, with who or how people have sex has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with morality.

    Learn what morals are – it deals with how you treat others, not what you do with your genitals. It also has absolutely nothing to do with religion, which you keep trying to irrelevantly stick into everything.

    1. OldWhiteLies

      Umm, OK. First attempt … try to be gentle …

      Well if we get to decide what he be stickin – rather than where he be stickin it. Methinks it best that it in fact be just his religion we be choosin for his stickin. Cause I don't wish to see what else he might be stickin, wherever.

      Hmmm, not my best work. But not my worst.

  7. edgydrifter

    Yet another example of liberals shamefully discriminating against bigoted assholes.

    1. Preferred Customer

      Right. This is really about religious freedom. Why can't we see that Christians are the real victims here, as they are everywhere else?

      1. SorosBot

        Right; the principal's religion tells her to be a nasty bullying bigot to the children she's supposed to be educating, firing her for that is just more anti-Christian discrimination. And there's more discrimination of the Christians that form ~75% of America's population than anyone else!

        1. MissTaken

          For just pennies a day you can adopt a Christian and save them from a life of tolerance and Christian do-gooding.

          1. Preferred Customer

            You know, I gave a LOT of money to the Lions Club before I realized that the number of Christians in my area wasn't decreasing at all. Stupid false advertising.

          2. SorosBot

            Save the Christians from a life of privilege and constantly whining about how bad they have it!

      2. GOPCrusher

        Well, those Godless Sodomites keep trying to shove their gay agenda down everyone's throat.

  8. LabRodent

    Ms Armstrong the Gym teacher would like to see you in her office right now Mrs Bond.

  9. Preferred Customer

    The link has a picture of Newt with his Faith Posse, which includes such theological luminaries as Chuck Norris. You know what I've always thought? It's totally normal for all these right wing wingnut dudes to worship Chuck Norris. There is nothing gay about that. At all.

  10. Douché

    Next he's going to complain about those rotten little catholic boys who seduce their priests and then tell on them.

  11. Baconzgood

    Unrelated to this post.

    BACONZ's the MAN! Big deal finished today. ABC BABY. Always Be Closing. Now John's client is mine $$$$$$. This is why I never took a vacation more than 5 days in my life!!!!! It's not the monies that matter to Baconz so much as the hunt. I like closing and hunting. DAMN! I bet I'd be a good stereo sales man!

    Sorry I touched success today so I'm braging.

    (this comment is 100% snark free)

      1. Baconzgood

        I have no use for either. I don't use a car to commute and I attack deer in the park with my bare teeth to maintain sustenance.

        1. Preferred Customer

          Does that mean you get an extra wall for your cubicle? Walls are for closers, Baconz.

          1. Baconzgood

            Cubicle?!?!?! This ain't no small town kid! I do this for a living. I was able to con myself in to an office with a really nice oak door. No one else would take it because the last guy had a heart attack in it. They are superstitious on this company.

  12. Beowoof

    I would bet real money he was given lots of wedgies in high school. And now he thinks he is a cool kid and pick on the gays.

  13. BornInATrailer

    And that response about teachers and morality came from a Presidential candidate and former speaker, sitting on a "Faith Leader Coalition" with Chuck Norris, after a question that made same-sex marriage equivalent to marrying your dog or cow.

    I know this is pretty standard stuff of late and I should be numbed to it, but oh my.

  14. Goonemeritus

    Funny I lament that political correctness keeps us from feeding Christians to the lions anymore.

  15. KeepFnThatChicken

    Wow. Just. Fucking. Wow. From the Jackson Sun article:

    Jason Hillman voiced his support for Bond in a comment on the Facebook thread. “Sounds like a good principal to me,” he said. “I bet the ACLU would think everything was OK if the principal was sleeping with a student of the same sex at school. Stupid liberals.”

    No, wait. It gets better.

    Wanda Joyner also defended Bond on Facebook, saying there should be more principals like her. “Sounds like she is standing up for morals in that school. Need more like her,” she said. “That is a personal choice to be gay or not to be gay so they should leave that stuff at home.”

    I have had the misfortune of speaking to this Joyner once. She admitted straight up that she would have no problem disowning a gay child, because of the whole abomination thing.

    All I want is six hours' notice before the strafing begins, please.

    1. UnholyMoses

      "That is a personal choice to be gay or not to be gay … "

      /snark="ON"

      Yep. Sure is.

      In fact, I remember the day I chose to become a heterosexual. It was while looking for something in some old boxes in the basement. I only saw a bit of a leg at first and, thus, moved the old Field & Stream out of the way to discover … boobies.

      I thought to myself, "Self, I know you have this tingly feeling in your nether regions right now — one you've never quite felt before but would definitely like to feel much, much, much more often — but you really have to make a choice here: Do you fap to this endlessly until it becomes so worn it's see through? Or do you decide that sucking cock is your thing?"

      Well, needless to say, I chose boobies. Because they're just so … boobalicious.

      And any man who doesn't make that choice is an abomination because SHUT UP THAT'S WHY!

      /snark

      I mean, really. These fuckers just need to be shot into low Earth orbit in some won't-survive-long vessel that can then be used as missle-defense-shield target practice. Maybe ask the Chinese to ram a satellite into the thing.

      Whatthefuckever it takes, I'm good with it.

    2. Loaded_Pants

      That is a personal choice to be religious or not to be religious so they should leave that stuff at home.

  16. Barb

    We shouldn't be sending our children to school to be abused like this. That is what church is for.

  17. Major Thom

    In other news, the Santorum campaign announces the hiring of good Samaritan high school principal Dorothy Bond as their new director of community relations.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      He wants to make her Secretary of Education. I know he says he'll abolish that office. But he's a liar. So, Secretary of Education. (Secretary as in "get me coffee.")

  18. BigRadio

    BTW, Jesus does have two daddies. The guy with the beard, i.e. God, and the creepy fuck who goes by the name of the Holy Ghost.

    1. Douché

      That would be 3, don't forget poor Joseph. Man that was probably one jacked up family come holidays. "Mom, Joseph, is god coming for dinner on my birthday this year? I don't mind, but he's so fucking holier than thou. And he never brings shit for presents"

    1. BigDumbRedDog

      Womenz! Then we're gonna go real old school and start pickin on the blahs again. And complaining about all those dirty eyetalians and Irish.

      1. MissTaken

        Still at the Golden Corral "All You Can Shovel Into Your Fat Ass Fupa Breakfast Buffet". They usually appear when they close to do the switch to the dinner food.

        1. C_R_Eature

          Aha, thanks! I've misplaced my Peterson's Field Guide to North American Assholes.

          I'm glad Somebody's prepared around here!

  19. BaldarTFlagass

    "threatened to expel them if they publicly showed affection for members of the same sex"

    Does that include holding hands when they play Red Rover and Ring Around the Rosie?

    1. Swampgas_Man

      If they're still playing ring around the rosie in High School, they've got bigger problems than Bond.

  20. DonnyKerabotsos

    Had student Gingrich showed up in my class when I was a high school teacher, I would have gladly risked firing for the opportunity to explain to him that he shares moral equivalency with NO ONE, due to the fact that he is a whore-mongering, serial- adulterer, a false catholic, a disgraced congressman and an overpaid mortgage historian.

  21. elviouslyqueer

    Ah yes, bucolic Haywood County. Where disaffected Wonder Bread-white racist and homophobic morons go to escape the tens of evil gays that infest the Memphis MSA, only to find out that one of their educational champions is a mouthy negress.

  22. Eve8Apples

    What about the morals of fathers who abandon their cancer stricken wives for some young hot healthy piece of ass? I bet Jesus doesn't like those kind of fathers.

  23. MissTaken

    during a school assembly, Bond said “gay students are ‘not on God’s path’ and threatened to expel them if they publicly showed affection for members of the same sex.”

    I barely remember high school but I think our school assemblies were about kicking our rival school's ass during the homecoming game. Must've slept through the "God Hates Fags" cheer.

      1. elviouslyqueer

        GOD HATES FIGS. (And, lets face it, the way papaya smells, He probably wasn't too fond of that either.)

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Oh, I wish I had gone to your high school. I'm pretty sure "God Hates Fags" was our school's motto.

        1. anniegetyerfun

          If only it were the obvious. No, just a small town in Washington State, stuffed to the brim with self-loathing homo rednecks. None of them ever left; I did the moment I could.

    2. comrad_darkness

      Next time you hear of a kid being pulled out for home schooling, just imagine this is why.

  24. CapeClod

    When I want an opinion on moral judgement, I always seek out the advice of a irredeemable sleazebag like Newt Gingrich.

  25. Biel_ze_Bubba

    "I think if we get four more years of Obama, four more years of him picking Supreme Court justices, four more years of these kind of radical rules, we won’t be the country we were in 2008 in terms of our core values."

    Gingrich is an optimist — who knew?

  26. friendlyskies

    Please. If the USA hadn't been taught the wisdom of rendering moral judgement, we might have let Gingrich get a chance at the presidency. [Insert long string of judgmental robot mistress vs. cancer wife jokes here.]

  27. proudgrampa

    “That is a personal choice to be gay or not to be gay so they should leave that stuff at home.”

    Ms. Joyner, that is a personal choice to be an asshole or not be an asshole so you should leave that stuff at home.

  28. Dashboard Buddha

    "‘you shouldn’t render moral judgment, after all it’s all situation ethics, who are we to decide,”

    Too many words. It's more like, "Hey KID…stop being a dick and leave him alone".

  29. C_R_Eature

    “We have now had a whole two generations of teachers who explained to us ‘you shouldn’t render moral judgment, after all it’s all situation ethics, who are we to decide,’ and that’s been a major problem” Said Newt, as he boned his High School English teacher.

  30. DemonicRage

    He's just trying to protect the poor children who are cleaning the bathrooms from seeing anything untoward going on, in the bathrooms.

  31. owhatever

    I bullied Newt Gingrich in junior high school because he was a fat little sissy with a dick the size of a worm who talked too much. No regrets. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it.

  32. Sassomatic

    Well, if it's a choice to be gay, then it is also a choice to not be gay, so then shouldn't those not-gay kids be leaving their not-gayness at home? I guess it's also their choice to be Christian or not, so they should refrain from outward displays of Christianity, yes?

    1. tessiee

      Q: Why did the Bond make an ignorant statement about gay students?
      A: Because she's a bigoted old cunt.

  33. James Michael Curley

    Purcell, Sellers & Craig Inc., an absolutely fabulous name for a law firm!

    1. tessiee

      Where the partners are Craig Purcell, Craig Sellers, Purcell Craig, Purcell Craig Jr. , Purcell Craig III, Sellers Craig, and Purcell Sellers — because that's the kind of names those people give their children.

      Oh yeah, and also, they advertise on craigslist.

  34. C_R_Eature

    So, what will Andrew Breitbart have to say about this?

    Ha, ha! Nothing… He's still dead!

  35. not that Dewey

    Let's hear from Jim Britt · Top commenter · Keyboard Jockey at No body's business

    This woman was an idiot and a coward to resign because the anti-American ACLU doesn't like her CORRECT views on sexual deviants! These gay students are at least 20 times more likely of catching AIDS and teen pregnancy CAN destroy lives.

    I guess it's better to have school leaders that hand out condoms and say "GO FOR IT".

    CHRISTIAN PARENTS OF THIS SCHOOL SHOULD DEMAND SHE BE REHIRED AND GIVEN A RAISE. THEY SHOULD SUE THE ACLU FOR A "HATE CRIME" AGAINST DECENCY AND CHRISTIANITY FOR ATTACKING HER.

    Did you hear that, gay teens? Stop getting pregnant!

    1. tessiee

      "sexual deviants!"

      Having gotten that out of his system, the writer returned to his usual daily routine of fapping to tentacle rape porn.

  36. Guppy

    ‘you shouldn’t render moral judgment, after all it’s all situation ethics, who are we to decide,’

    That's funny. That's exactly the answer he gives when asked about all his divorces.

  37. Generation[redacted]

    "And don't let me catch any of you kids celebrating the Solstice, neither! Or it's off to reform school!"

  38. tessiee

    If only Dorothy Bond had had the foresight to be a principal in Michigan, where bullying of gay students is protected by the legal law.

  39. tessiee

    "And was she thanked?"

    No, Principal Bond, I expect you to resign.
    *pets white angora cat*

  40. tessiee

    I'm not sure I agree; I have a hard time teling the difference between a Newt and a pig.

  41. tessiee

    “We have now had a whole two generations of teachers who explained to us ‘you shouldn’t render moral judgment, after all it’s all situation ethics, who are we to decide,’ and that’s been a major problem.”

    *anxiously*
    But cheating on exams, that's still OK, right?
    Right?

  42. Chichikovovich

    Among the millions of things that are reality-independent and paranoid about this "teachers are telling kids that everything is OK", — besides the fact that it's yet another of the right's unending stock of patently false zombie lies whose falsehood could be easily ascertained just by asking a few teachers if they believe that, or for that matter just thinking for three minutes about what is being claimed — is that in this case it is not just false, but the exact opposite of what the teachers (with a shred of decency) are telling their students: it is totally, non-relatively, 100%-no-exceptions, as indubitable as 2 + 2 = 4, absolutely wrong to bully gay students. Absolutely. Without qualification. And it is the right wing that wants to get all relativist on us (as they also do when you point out all the God-ordered genocides in the Old Testament or the slaveholding of prominent "Founding Fathers" – different time, don't ya know. Different situations.) "Oh, well, hitting someone who has done nothing to harm you is usually bad, that's true, but when someone's religious beliefs are being openly mocked by two male students holding hands, well, you have to take those considerations into account."

    Listen, Newt, I and people like me will often say things like: "Everything Newt Gingrich has said or done since he reached the age of 16 and probably before has been dishonest, corrupt, cruel, self-interested, despicable, and, in short, morally vicious.* Really: he's an evil person."** When I say that I don't mean "situationally evil", and I don't mean "by the standards of contemporary society" evil or "in this context" evil. I mean flat out evil. You are morally reprehensible. Really – absolutely.

    Now I'll explain something to you – it's the sort of thing that real professors don't have to have explained to them, because they actually are capable of thinking about and understanding freshman-level basic distinctions and facts from time to time – but I'll explain it to you because you're a professor only in your own bloated vainglorious imagination. When people say "it's perfectly OK to be gay", they are not relativists. They are not saying "oh, well, we simply mustn't make moral judgement about being gay". They are making an absolute, unqualified, non-situational moral evaluation. And this this is how the evaluation is expressed: "Being gay is not morally wrong, it is perfectly OK."

    OK, now I'll make another pass through this, because you've made it manifest that extreme measures are needed to get even the most elementary points across to you. Here are two different things. i) Asserting that no-one should make absolute moral judgments. ii) Asserting an absolute moral judgement, which you happen to disagree with. [And I might add: that you wrongly disagree with, because you're evil.] If an applicant for a masters program in our department were to be unable to understand that distinction we would never accept him/her into the program. Because that failure is compelling evidence that the candidate is really thick. But you continually make this elementary confusion. Face it: you're not only evil, but stupid as well. And take it from a trained professional in the professoring trade: you don't got what it takes.*** They denied you tenure for a reason.

    *using "vicious" in its old-fashioned sense where it is paired as the opposite of "virtuous", to conform to the opposites "virtue : vice" (see, for example David Hume or Gibbon) I do this because Newt is, like, a professor and everything.

    ** And stupid, too, though that is not a moral vice. However, your brand of willed ignorance probably is.

    ***Since this thread is going dormant, I reserve the right to repost the rant in it's entirety the next time Newt ever spews this "liberals say you shouldn't make moral judgments" sewage.

    1. unclejeems

      Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap!!! Huzzah! From one prof to a much more articulate one.

  43. Schmegeg

    These students should do the moral thing and bang their teachers, and if they want to be a little naughty, some Catholic School uniforms and a three way wouldn't be out of the question.

  44. PuglyDoRight

    Wasn't Newtie's first wife his high school teacher? Supposedly he starting "seeing" Jackie when he was 16 but won't admit to any physical relationship until after he graduated high school. Since he's so moral, and all that.

  45. ttommyunger

    One day I will run into Newt here in "Tardlandia"….No, seriously, I will run him over with my car-twice!

  46. comrad_darkness

    I'm sure Newt was bullied because he was a dickish, entitled, pasty fat white kid, but clearly he wasn't bullied nearly enough.

  47. comrad_darkness

    Ms. Joyner's Jesus taught hate and intolerance. What edition of the bible is that in? Anyone ask her?

  48. rickmaci

    Bullying is the foundation of the Conservatard agenda; bullying gays, bullying racial minorities, bullying non-Christians; bullying women. Looks like that last one isn't going to work out so well for them, finally, and their idiot platform is going to crash down on them. Can't come soon enough. 4 more years!!!

Comments are closed.