important announcements regarding your wonkette

Your Wonkette Has a New Wonkette Publisher/Editor, For Freedom!

Go weep, emo eagle.Good morning from your Wonkette editor since, oh, 2006. It has been an exciting (terrible?) six years, hasn’t it? There was old what’s his name, and Iraq, and the Great Recession, and then the sexy president with his singing and dancing all the time. And now your longtime editor will finally stop disappearing for months at a time and officially hand over this Important American Publication to a deserving and talented political writer/editor, Ms. Rebecca Schoenkopf. She is a feared and respected Liberal Woman, so the wingnuts will just love her (as they plot to send her to Gitmo). Also, Rebecca is a fancy book-writin’ author and is famous for being “Commie Girl,” the newspaper columnist who drove California Republicans insane for the OC Weekly. Wonkette.com is obviously going to become just like National Review’s “The Corner,” which was always the plan?

Rebecca will be running Wonkette from her Los Angeles headquarters, until she moves to D.C. (?!) or whatever. We don’t know; it’s not our business. (Ha ha, literally!) But your editor will be around for a while “to consult,” like Rick Santorum does for the coal and vibrator corporations. And this year might be kind of interesting, with the politics?

Thank you for being part of the Wonkette family of lunatics all these years, for the emails and comments and links and Twitters and MySpaces and all the things, over all the years. It was a weird day in the summer of 2006 when Alex Pareene brought me here “as a guest editor,” and I basically never left, despite constant threats and many sabbaticals. It has been fun, it has been grueling, it has been educational, and now it’s time for me to follow Jesus down the Road of Mystery. Here is my Twitter, which I don’t really use. Goodbye For Now; see you in the comments!

Whoops!

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne
What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

189 comments

  1. el_donaldo

    So Newell is back, and Ken's departure is also back! It's just like old times at the old Wonkette.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Schoen seems to be a variant of schon (umlaut o) so either "pretty head" or "very much head" – either way, much more fun than scheisskopf.

    2. poncho_pilot

      sadly for you i think it means pretty. Scheisskopf is the word you're looking for and yes, he's going to make us march in formation.

      1. James Michael Curley

        with wires through our wrists tied to stainless steel pins inserted in our hips.

  2. Mumbletypeg

    Oh well, Ken. I figured after enough second-guessing about this status-shapeshifting ambivalence that a nearly departed editor is at least better than a dearly departed one.

    Vaya con whatever-it-is you're following on the Mystery Tour (it rhymed with Breezus!)~

  3. UnholyMoses

    Well, so long, Ken!

    And welcome, Rebecca!

    So … when the fuck y'all hiring me? I've been published (though as a ghostwriter)! I've won awards! I like to screw around on the Internet all day when I'm supposed to be working! I take massive amounts of pills and would mainline coffee if I could.

    I'm the perfect Wonkette employee.

    Though I would like to see the dental plan first …

    1. HistoriCat

      Can you get something posted before 10 am Eastern time? Because that's where the real need is.

      1. UnholyMoses

        If I were full-time?

        It'd be ready by the time you got in at 8 am (EST/ECT).

        And I live in teh Show-Me-Your-Stupid State.

        Part time? Probably doable.

    1. deanbooth

      I've given up on peeing. My pee-score has gone down a point in the past six months. They must be scored like the SAT — wrong answers (late-to-the-party unpeed comments?) count against you.

    1. sezme

      Ken drank Breitbart to death which is commendable and a lot smarter than drinking oneself to death.

  4. Callyson

    Rebecca, welcome. Anyone who annoyed Orange County Republicans is a friend of mine.
    Ken, best wishes–hope you'll keep visiting.

    1. NellCote71

      "Anyone who annoyed Orange County Republicans is a friend of mine. " Amen to that. Lord knows they annoy me enough.

  5. ChernobylSoup

    Ms Rebecca just tweeted "I AM YOUR NEW WONKETTE."

    I like how she's already taking control.

    Nobody's saying "Green Balloons" here.

  6. EatsBabyDingos

    Yes, but can Rebecca fart the National Anthem? Ken, you will be missed like wet toilet paper on the roll in the stall.

  7. Barb

    Is Rebecca the gal that Murdoch had to fire? You know, the one with the wiry red pubic hair on her head?

    Welcome Rebecca! I'm a Virgo, I like long walks through expensive shopping malls and yes, they are real and they are fabulous!

    1. Not_So_Much

      All I know about her is that there's a whole bunch of news stories about her doing something inappropriate with a horse. In England. Which is self-explanatory.

      1. Barb

        Don't they have capitol punishment for people who do that? I hear they also make the animal face the same fate and has to go first and they make the sinner watch. If this scandal is true then I hope she be hung like a horse! Wait, is THAT what this means? I am confused.

    2. MrFizzy

      I've seen them and I agree. The tattoo of Allen West on the left gland is particularly excellent.

  8. SnarkoMarx

    Ken, I will miss your scathing venomous assessments of American cultural decline. Really miss them.

    1. HuddledMass

      Yeah. I really liked Ken's postings-of-doom, they consorted closely with my general outlook on life.

  9. Not_So_Much

    The only thing that was holding my participation back was not enough fear of the editor. I'm going to be, in the words of Larry Craig, 'a very very naughty bad naughty boy' now!

    S'long Ken — don't become a fat coke fiend and do a Breitbart.

  10. Baconzgood

    Welcome Rebecca I look forward to seeing your work. I'm sure you are a talented and smart person. But never mind that

    SHOW US YOUR TITS!!!!!!!!

    1. BigDumbRedDog

      Thanks Baconz. I'm kind of upset that I had to scroll this far down to find a request for tits.

  11. Steverino247

    Pissing off Orange County Republicans is pretty easy to do, but doing it well and over time is an accomplishment. Welcome to show.

  12. orygoon

    And Ken, I hope you find your naval! If your seekings bring you through Orygun, drop right in.

  13. Goonemeritus

    Ken how can you leave us, I promise we’ll keep our room clean and not talk back any more if you stay.

    1. Biff

      Like the caretaker at the Overlook Hotel, he has always been the caretaker at the Overlook Hotel.

    1. Baconzgood

      I know it's strange. You can call some one cunt-fuck-shit-balls but not a ——–. What a site.

        1. GhostBuggy

          Oh. I thought the verboten words were "Wasilla" and "Presidential Candidate Alan Keyes."

  14. memzilla

    Ken and Rebecca, I am filled with joy and sadness, but can't decide with which for whom.

    Ken you old desert rat, good luck.

    Rebecca, welcome to the libtard answer to Breitbart.com, but with less dead people running it.

  15. flamingpdog

    I for one welcome the arrival of our new overLaynelord.

    Btw, has any considered that Ken Layne is leaving on his magical mystery tour the same day!!!! as Frothy, also leaving on a magical mystery tour, from which both may or may not be back???

  16. BigDumbRedDog

    I want to know where the hell Wonkette got a picture of my last Halloween party tragedy.

  17. BerkeleyBear

    Go find your Dignity Ken – 2.99 on Kindle, 7.99 paperback. In almost seriousness, thank you for keeping the good ship Wonkette afloat these many years.

    Oh, and Rebecca – don't think of our constant sexual innuendos as harassment. More like that overlong hug your creepy uncle gives you at Thanksgiving.

    1. poncho_pilot

      "i can't believe what a pretty young lady/man you've become since i last saw you. how old are you now? oh? 18, huh?"

  18. MissTaken

    Bye Ken! Good luck walking up and down California's deserts, again. Just don't shoot any mountain lions or we'll have to make you the head of Fish and Game.

    Welcome Rebecca! Good luck wading up and down through the buttsechs. This place is thick with Santorum.

  19. SayItWithWookies

    Good-bye, Ken, though not adieu. I hope to keep seeing updates on the land tortoises and the Inland Empire.

    1. poncho_pilot

      i wish the land tortoises were the aristocracy of the Inland Empire. they'd do a better job, and you know…turtle overlords. much better than plasticized rich people shot full of botox.

  20. ttommyunger

    I've got a bad feeling about this: I suppose next Barb will be put on the payroll. Women! 52% of the population, 65% of the money and 100% of the pussy….We're doomed, guys.

  21. WhatTheHeck

    Ken, I remember when you came to us during the second term of America’s great, always-in-search-of-a-war president. Then there was that walk-about of the western heartland you embarked on, leaving us rudderless. In spite of your many “lost weekends,” I wish you all the biting sarcasm you couldn’t find in the desert.

  22. chascates

    Does Rebecca have red hair? And a hearty farewell to Pope Cat (who will never really leave, it's in his blood/bank account) who I predict will be shortlisted for the Booker prize for his next work The Confessions of Andrew Breitbart: Rage, Rum, and Sodomy on the Right"!

  23. frostbitefalls

    Oh Ken, first the rambles across the desert with only a bottle of water and some graham crackers, then the Utopian Novel, now this…

  24. Redhead

    My reaction to this is the same reaction I get when Michele talks about having sexy times with Marcus – "Yeah, you say that all the time. Wait, what? For REAL this time???????"

  25. GhostBuggy

    I'm going to miss you, Ken, and the way you kept us from ever getting too optimistic. For serious. I hope someone keeps that tone going.

  26. DemmeFatale

    (*whiny voice*)
    KEEEEEEEEEEN!
    Thanks for the (sometimes bitter), memories!

    Welcome Becca!
    Do your friends call you "Becca?"
    (Pay no attention to the louts on here begging for titty shots.)

  27. sezme

    Hey Ken, thanks for everything you've done to make this one of the few decent places on the internets. Much appreciation for the long hours, and especially for the very angry rants about this country being in the crapper swirling the drain. I loved those. Hope Rebecca gave you lots of moneys (or at least paid off your gambling debts).

  28. Crank_Tango

    First Breitbart, now Ken. If I wasn't too busy with work, I would probably say something like, "too soon," or perhaps "all of 'em, katie," but instead I will just say

    hitler?

    Fare thee well, desert bear!

  29. Biff

    Worst Friday news dump evar!
    Bye, Ken–perhaps now you'll have time to fix the Wonkbot and do some occasional guest video editorials.

  30. Bonzos_Bed_Time

    Ken is on a mission to document all religious paraphernalia on public lands in the Southwest.
    Indeed, via con dios o' bearded one.

  31. tessiee

    So, Ken Layne leaves us on the same day Frothy leaves us?
    *suspicious*
    Has anyone ever seen them together?

  32. tessiee

    That picture…
    Stripper with front butt, check.
    Easter bunnies, check.
    Oompa Loompas, check.
    It works on SO MANY LEVELS!!!

  33. togaparty

    So farewell then, Ken.
    Again.
    I hope you can regain a little faith in humanity by reading not a goddamn thing about "politics" forever and ever.

  34. rambone

    Farewell Ken.

    As you meander along the path of life, always remember: "Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it."

  35. vulpes82

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Don't leave us, Papa Bear! What about the scathing misanthropy and the desert-brained contempt?!!!! Where will we go after the Apocalypse now that we don't have the Layne Desert Compound to fall back on?

  36. superdave

    Well, congrats Ken. Ya finally got someone to take this load off your hands.

    I'm gonna miss you. No one else does bitter, angry, old man the way you do.

    On the other hand, the new editor is purdy.

  37. widestanceromance

    Well, doesn't this just put the dead rat in the filthy toilet of our lives?

    Best to Ken, sincere condolences to Rebecca.

  38. imissopus

    Ken, you know I've disagreed with you a lot and thought you were often an overblown hysteric about a few things…okay, a lot of things…but interacting with the folks here has been a great outlet for my political addiction for the last three years, for which I have you to thank. Also it has been a great distraction from me doing constructive things on many days, which I suppose is either a testament to the work you do or to my inherent laziness. But anyway, if you ever journey into the city and you're in the Koreatown vicinity I'll happily buy you a few shots of soju until we both vomit or pass out or both. Vaya con Dios.

  39. C_R_Eature

    So Long, Ken and Thanks for All the Fish Snark. You will be missed.
    Oh, before you go…just what was The Frequency, Kenneth?

    And please take that goddamn bellybutt picture with you. Thanks.

    Fondly, CRE

  40. emmelemm

    Ken, all the best and thanks for everything, sincerely.

    Rebecca, I read your little intro/bio, I mean, primer (short i), and I love you already.

  41. CapnFatback

    With all apologies to Mr. Zimmerman:

    ♫ "Goodbye" is too good a word, Ken
    So I'll just say "snark thee well"
    I ain't saying you had an axe to grind
    You could've let me write the "r" word, but I don't mind
    Wonkette kinda wasted all my precious time
    But don't think twice, it's all right. ♫

  42. Jerri

    Damn it. I started my day with a trip to the lady doctor, and now this? Boo!! I'll miss you and your outrage, Ken.

    (Nothing against you, Rebecca, I promise. Welcome.)

  43. ShaveTheWhales

    So, Ken is become Destroyer of Worlds, emeritus?

    The only Wonkete Overlord I've ever known. /*sniff*/

    Good luck and stay iconoclassy.

  44. slowhansolo

    Thanks for something or other, Ken. I'd invite you over for a celebratory drink, but then I'd have to light the stove and clear the airfield.

  45. fuflans

    can't we all just meet somewhere in the middle and raise a toast?

    will miss you ken.

    don't forget to leave mean comments!

    1. DustBowlBlues

      I have a B&B and if we all got together, we could, for one day, tilt this asshat state left. Oh, and we could invite Commie Mom.

  46. horsedreamer_1

    All part of the plan. Ken has arrived, returned, & will return again. Just like Napoleon.

  47. DustBowlBlues

    Ken–Will you be giving your cranberry relish recipe to the new wonket Boss Lady or should I buy an external hard drive and four or three pin drives to back up my recipe and print 500 hard copies of it?

    This is traumatic, but not quite as traumatic as thinking "our" wonkette had gone away just when we needed it to talk about the Apocalypse, on the off-chance we hadn't been raptured. That's was a nail-biting weekend, haha, but you answered me personally for the only time (except for that one night when I nearly got hammer-banned) and said no, you hadn't been raptured up so wonkette.com would be sticking around) I will always be grateful for that. (Not the threat) And for the cranberry relish.

  48. amoosefloats

    Thanks for all the political smut you were my little liberal blogger version of J Edger Hoover.

  49. thefrontpage

    Ken: You'e not going to work for The Huffington Post or Politico or The National Enquirer, are you?!

Comments are closed.